Why Are So Many Women Accepting the Bare Minimum?

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Okay, Next one, I'm curious to know if your credit
score was a car, what kind of.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Car would it be?

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Ninety three Bronca Ojay edition is a murder?

Speaker 1 (00:17):
What about you?

Speaker 4 (00:18):
Oh baby, I'm a tesla nie ye keeping.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
I'm curious to know would you still have sex if
you got to the person's house and they only had
a blow up mattress?

Speaker 4 (00:30):
Oh man, that's funny.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
I'm curious to know would you rather eat booty.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Or said to.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Check one two? Check one two? Is this Mike On?
Is this Mike On?

Speaker 4 (01:03):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Listen man, it's the one and only Trunks that a.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
DJ sis And you're listening to Cocktails Dirty Discussions with
Kikia Medina Monroe Here.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
All right, you guys, so welcome back to Cocktail Strey Discussions.
This is part two of our extended extended episode. Right,
so that is why we looked the same as this
part two. So we left off, we did a bunch
of catching up and we talked about by a himp.
I want to remind y'all go ahead and get by hip.
We always talked about high love. Make sure that you

(01:37):
get Cloud nine gummies too. They have a bunch of
other stuff and as I continue to go to the website,
they have more and more products. They have a bomb
which I couldn't find because I couldn't get in the drawer,
so I had to move it.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Up on the bookshelf. But they have a bomb that
I've used.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
That bomb like for the bathtub No, like b A
l M that you would rub on your body.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Oh, I have that. I have that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
I used it because I hurt some muscles that I
didn't know was there. But it made its announcement loud
and clear, and I was like stuck in the bed,
like I need a life alert.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Let me tell you. Okay.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
So it's really interesting as you live this thing called
life and as you age. I speaking of hurting things,
I have been having like back issues girl, like the
middle of my in between my shoulder blades. I have
been having this like intense pain. I've talked about it
a lot on my page. I've talked about it a lot.
I think I've mentioned it on the show where it's

(02:31):
just like having a pain. I can go to the chiropractor.
Chiropractor said get over that. Nigga is grief and heartache,
and I was like, all right, I'm really trying you.
Grief is an interesting thing. There was a moment where
I was like I'm done, I'm good and I'm not
sad no more. And then one day a picture fell
out of somewhere and I was like.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
What the hell, I can't do this.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
But my girlfriend Schanel was like, hey, Manina, come over
on Tuesday. I have a friend coming over. He does
muscle alignment therapy. And I was like, girl, I can't
ever heard of it. I had never heard of it
at all. And she's like, well, can you just come?
Like you said your back was hurting.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
I love Shanelle. She just like sometimes she's like.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Like does a lot, but like you need her to
do a lot because you won't do it. And so
I was like, okay, cool, I'm gonna come, but I
only have thirty minutes.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Girl. I went.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
He was there setting up and he was massaging a
lot of the gym girls. I haven't been working out
as much because my back hurts so bad, and I
was just like, it doesn't feel right to keep working out.
I feel like somebody asked me if I had scoliosis
one day when I was doing a squad and I said,
let me stop because what fuck is going on?

Speaker 2 (03:29):
And it was the pain.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
The girl literally knew what was going on. She was like,
does your back hurt? And I was like, it does,
but I'm just some strong black woman. She's like, bitch,
stop for you or a fair chess one. Yeah. So
I told the guy what was going on, and I said, honestly,
I don't. He does like alignment and he can do
stuff with the rest of it. I said, I don't
need all that. I go to the chiropractor three times
a week. I get massages once a month. Let me
tell you where to attack.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
He got. I told him what was going on. He
got in and Kiki.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
I'm talking about my back hurting so bad that my
hands sometimes will go on. I thought something was like.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
I thought it was. I was about to have carpal tunnel.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
That's what I thought. And he got in there. He
knew exactly what to do and he spent two I
said thirty minutes.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
He was on me for two hours, and he got
up under my shoulder blades. He cupped.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
He was like, he used this little machine to loosen
up the blood flow like this, this is not an
ad like when.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
I was loosening up the blood he had a machine.
Was it like that.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Yeah, it was like a little gun thing and it
like he got yep, and it was painful, but it
like I like that. It felt like when the Asian
ladies dig in the saudiotoe to get the ingrown tail.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
It like hurts, but it feels good. That's how it felt.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
And he like got in there like on the pain,
and then he cupped it and then that cupping girl,
that cupping.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
He was like, you might not like this my hair.
I said, oh, I like a little pain. Don't worry
about all that. And he just got in there and
he when he was done with me, I was just like,
what do you need? Do you need prayer? Like do
you need food? Are you hungry? Can I do something
for you?

Speaker 3 (04:59):
Like it was he is God saying like he got
it was just wonderful, like it was so and I
have not felt the pain. My hand isn't tingling. I
don't have like this tight the tightness that I was feeling.
I just was so thankful. I think his instagram is
jy Fit. It's muscle alignment therapy. So they go a
little bit deep. It's not like a normal massage. They

(05:19):
go a little bit deeper, so it might be painful
for you. I like pain, so it was okay. But
when he did Chanelle, she was like, this hurts, but
she did it on her knee. He can target different areas,
or if you just want to get in alignment, he
can like stretch you out so effective.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
I was like, oh my god, sign me h girl.
It was. It was amazing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
I only had the cupping one time and that was
back in April, six months ago.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
I need to do it again.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
The man gave it to me for free because when
he was doing my regular masside he was like, do
you know what cupping is? I said no, I just
saw them Hickey's on people's backs and I didn't want
to be walking around like that.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
I've got picks to take. And he was like, you're
not gonna have it. I guess maybe if you.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Do it regularly. Once it was did you have them
circles for days and days?

Speaker 3 (06:03):
I had them for like three days, but I did
have my backout, so nobody really saw it.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, maybe that one man did, but he did a
good job. Mine was so knotted up.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
I think I needed to stay an extra hour or
two to even get it to the top, but I will.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Say it felt so much better. And I was like,
I don't know what I was scared of.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, I highly encourage you guys to do that.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yeah, also talking about something like that. We I want
to just point this out. Since my birthday passed, I
did my yearly, got my blood work, that all the
things got tested.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
You know, I'm good, well kind of. I was looking
at my blood work.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
And my you know, there was one week recently where
I woke up and I cried every single day, Kiki,
and I was like.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Clearly I'm depressed. Yah, estrogen two high. No, my vitamin
D was low.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
And I thought that I just had to say this
because I say, you know what, sometimes you think you're sad,
when really there are other things you need to do
before you go to medicine. Now, some people do need medicine.
IM against medicine, however, I thought I was. I was like,
maybe I need to get on antidepressants. I was asking
about the person, am I like someone who needs in
my bipolar Like.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
I really thought something was wrong. I was just crying.
I get mine. My doctor's like, your vitamin D is
supposed to be at thirty. Mine was at fourteen, bitch,
many black people specifically, And do you know why? I
didn't know that?

Speaker 3 (07:22):
And I said, can you let me know why this
is so low? I said, I'm in the sun a lot.
He said, that doesn't matter. He was like, as a
black and my doctor's black. He was like, as a
black person, because we're melanated. You can be in the sun,
it's not the sun isn't really penetrating you enough to
give you what you need.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
So you need to most likely.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
If you are brown, you need to be on a
pre supplement, a supplement. You need to have the supplement,
and you need to make sure you know your numbers
and your levels. Because what he had to do is
give me fifty thousand milligrams so that I can just
get up to meet where I'm supposed to be at.
I'm taking that and an over the counter, but he
gave me a prescription for vitamin D so I can
get up to You.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Might not be sad, bitch, you might have a low
vitamin D level.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
I'm just saying vitamin D. And another one that I
want to add to that is zinc. That's the one
we forget about. Vitamin D and zinc. If you are anemic.
Many of us are anemic.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
Your iron is low, and then you got to hate
that xire and you start getting hives. Don't fret, you're
not allergic. You have to drink some milk. Sometimes it's
too I had to do that, and one time I
took zinc and I and I think you have to
do zinc and nisin together, and you won't do that.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Some people take zinc and your body sensitive too.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
I thought I was dying, but really what it was
was I needed to have milk with it. It was like
nasty whole milk. But I don't know why that is,
but like it just sometimes it can have an effect.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
And you started itching D deficient and whole milk is
high in vitamin D and maybe that's what I drink it.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
Y'all, please get your blood work done.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Get it and ask for these specific things and ask
them to tell you, because sometimes what they'll do and
they'll come back and say, oh, everything's normal, but something.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
I was looking at And y'all probably already.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
Know this because y'all know everything, but in case somebody doesn't,
Sometimes they'll tell you that things are normal, but the
normal is because it's the normal range.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Based on the pool of people that we have here
in America. Bitch, No, I know y'all been seeing.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Doctor what's his name, doctor now, doctor new on my
six hundred pounds loud life.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
It's a lot of big bitches in here. I don't
know how to say.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
And I'm talking about I'm not talking about regular big
I'm talking about you are one thousand pounds and you
need a forklift and a minivan and maybe you can
get somewhere else. You're having trouble getting to your doctor's appointment.
So that is one of the things when it comes
to statistics that I rant about.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
I start to say ran and rape, but I don't
rave about it. I rant about it because.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
The thing with his sics is it's based on a
pool of people. So if you got twenty six hundred
pound people in a room and then five who are
in a normal, healthy range of weight, that will skew
your results. So I say all that to say, don't
always rely on normal. Look at what the levels actually

(10:12):
are so that you know and then also pay attention
to how you feel. And I am pro go to
a doctor that went to medical school and is got
a license, and there's a board that is regulating them.
But I'm not opposed to also seeking guidance or looking
into some of the things that some of the homeopathic

(10:34):
professionals do, because sometimes some people are just way too
deep in bed with big pharma. So you know, do
your own research, figure out what you want, and pay
attention to your own body and what feels good and
what feels right.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
But you're right.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
I saw somebody talking about hormone levels, like I joke
all the time about having too much testoscerone and that's
why I be a little bit too much with.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
The niggas on my thought process. But that's a real
thing sometimes men.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
I saw something where it was talking about how like
sometimes men are truly testosterone deficient. They have very low levels,
and that's why people feel like they are too emotional too,
you know, they try to equate it to them being gay.
It's like they're not gay, they testosterone.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Low, money, little pity, a little shot, like come on,
know what you know?

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Supplement, Like everybody ain't just right. I'm not, and so
I'm not judging you. I'm right here with you. I
inflicted to anyways. I also wanted to say I went
to a Galla two over the weekend, and I had
almost a crash out moment and crying because I didn't
think it was going to be able to do it
because I was watching somebody else's kid.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
I don't have kids, and so the fact that sometimes
I can't do so because I'd be having a kid,
it is frustrating.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
And then when I was asking somebody who does have
a kid who I watched, and the immediate response was
not like, oh, I got you, shit was brewing. I
mean it was steam coming out of my ears, and
I was trying to figure out how to handle it. Anyway,
long story short, it worked out well. I went to
the Living Legends Foundation gala and that was a really
cool experience.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
I went with Lexandrea, and it was cool to go
because there's so many people.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Who are there in the music industry, in the radio industry,
and there's a lot of people who I know from
working in radio so many years, and they don't know
me as like Keihi said, so the podcast, they know
me as I do the finances for this broadcast company,
or they forget what I look like if I'm dressed up,

(12:38):
or they don't know what I look like because I
haven't been to the office in six years or we've
never met in person, and so it's nice to see
some of those people out. And do you remember Skip
cheat them? Yes, girl, he was at the Think skip
cheat them is fine. I just got to say it.
That is a fine man. And he's still looking good.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
I don't think I know what he looks like. Oh
he's a good looking man.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Be married, I'm pretty sure. So I'm saying this respectfully.
But he is a good looking man. He's still I mean,
obviously he's older. I haven't lived there in twenty years, literally,
but it was cool to see him there. He wasn't
being honored. But there's another woman. Her name is d D.

(13:21):
She does a morning show. It's d D in the
Morning here in Atlanta. There is a new radio station,
this part of the group that I work with, eighty
seven point seven. It is a southern soul station, which
is like country music and saul basically, yeah, like old
people blues. Country music is soul like. It's a more
mature not just like throwback hits. It's current music, but

(13:43):
more blues and country. So anyway, she has a syndicated
morning show. She's based in Dallas. She has a show
called d D in the Morning. I always think it's
amazing when women are the main person on a morning
show lineup. If you don't know or you never really
thought about it in radio, specifically black people, because I've

(14:04):
never paid attention to the others.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
For real, for real, But I'm pretty sure it's standard
across the board. The women don't.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
Get to lead the shows. You are usually booked as
a sidekick. You were there as the cute one. They
probably send you out to do stuff and you're you gossip.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
You remember Kick Kratick in the Morning and Kelly Raspberry, Yes, wow,
Krati in the Morning.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yep, I do. But Ketha Rose was on that show too.
He was on the show.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
And what was so interesting When she was talking, I
was like, I have not realized because I'm eating my food,
I didn't realize how much Keita sounds like d D.
And this is not a messy moment, but it did
make me wonder. I don't think she's on there anymore,
but it makes me wonder how much did Dede influence her,
how much was she a mentor to her, and what

(14:49):
was that relationship?

Speaker 2 (14:50):
Because it's a good voice I like Keita. I like Keita.
I like her voice. I like d D I like
her voice.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
And it was amazing to see her getting a Lifetime
Achievement award while she's still living, because the whole thing
is we need to honor the people who have been
doing the work while they're still here. There were attorneys
that were there, there were other people in the industry,
but there were several women there and I was happy
to be there. I was happy to get to meet them.
I was happy to get to say, hey, you maybe

(15:18):
want to do radio, you like skip seet them specifically.
I remember he came to a couple of basketball games
or something. He would be in the gym at Bowie
and like just seeing remember Flavor TV mm hm, like
seeing Okay, you can be a radio personality and then
you can go and host something on TV too. It
was like our own if you're not from the DFW area.

(15:38):
It was a show that came on. I don't know
where it came on, but it came on, and it
was like at night. He would be at the clubs.
He would be at all.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
The functions around doing all kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
They would be at the football games. It was just
cool to see that and be able to meet them
and say, hey, I love what you do. I am
a person that was directly affected by what you did
in a positive way and you haven't fire me and
continue to inspire me. And it was just cool to
see that and then meet other people, lots of living legends.
And I'll see my boss on there because he got.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
The Living Legend Award. I be talking about him all
the time.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
He knows we both talk about each other, but he
got the Living Legend Award a few years ago, and
he really is like talented and very smart in many
areas when it comes to radio and broadcasting. So I
say all that to say, like, as much as I
make jokes and talk shit about people, I do it

(16:32):
to their face too, And I appreciate the lessons I've
been able to learn, and it is cool to be
around literal living legends, and they.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Also need to well. I don't want to say that.
Go ahead. Sometimes you kind of forget. Sometimes you do
have moments thing you're like, oh, like, how you talking
about Elizabeth Gilbert?

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Like I work for Steve Hagwood and if you work
in radio, you might have heard of him if you
really care about the industry, like he has done a lot.
I mean, he has his own stations here in other places.
But he was starting hot. I was like, he's not
there no more. But he started that, and he started
a lot of things, like the birthday badge concert everybody

(17:10):
wants to go to.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
He started that.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
It's beautiful when you were talking about Keita, it's so
funny that now I need to call her because I
feel like, now you've come up too much in one day.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Oh yeah, you gotta call her.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
You said that about Keda, my lender that I work with,
who I always tell everyone to go to to get
approved to purchase a home.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
This is a white woman. She is white, and she sent.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
Me a message this morning. We don't sometimes we don't
be talking about Linden. I love her, like it's hard
for me to really rock with you and like refer
people to if we haven't had like a personal connection.
She's caught me crying in the broker several times, so
we're close. So she sent me a message that she said,
this is the She's like, I love this girl and
I just listened to her every morning. It was Keita,
I said, bitch, I I didn't call her bitch. They

(17:55):
don't know this side of me.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
They don't even know. I got a podcast. She was like,
I said, I know her. I was like, she was
like what how. I was like, she's a friend. And
I just thought it was so wild. They're like this.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
White woman who is like she's like seventy knew she's
sending to me kid.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
I was like, wow, I'm gonna call key.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Didn't let her know because listen that being a woman,
I feel like in any industry is just like hard
SKay man, it is. It's like overlooks, yeah, undervalue amazing.
Speaking of being women, I also just want to remind
you guys that my girlfriend, she started a foundation. It's
called Lula's Legacy of Love Foundation, and they recently partnered

(18:33):
with Moffitt Cancer Center. My girlfriend started this foundation because
her mother died of breast cancer and she wanted to
honor her mother. So on October twenty fifth, we're coming
up on it in Tampa, Florida, they are having a
Say the Tatas two point zero Breast Cancer Awareness Walk.
If you guys would like to donate, if you would
like to go, just make sure you go to www
dot Lula's Legacy of Love Foundation dot org. And you

(18:54):
can either sponsor someone to have a mammogram, to get
a wig to just help them with the some of
the financial hardships that come with being sick unfortunately, or
you can go to the walk, So make sure you
go do your thing. I'm gonna try to make the
walk if I can again. It's October twenty fifth. Go
to Lula's Legacy of Love Foundation dot org. And I

(19:14):
hope you can do something.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
And so I know that many people write in emails
all the time or send as cms and they have
trouble making friends, which.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
It is hard as an adult to make friends.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
You want to be conscious of the fact, okay, this
is my work frame, but how much do I want
to lift them in Depending on what it is that
you do and the culture, usually you got to keep them.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
You'd be like away because yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
But there's groups out there, so y'all should look into
some of these. They just got started maybe last year.
This is not anything scammy. I know that there are
others that have had bad reps.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
They doing that.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
It's really cool and everything I've ever been to is free,
So I don't even know how they going to turn
a profit.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Maybe eventually they're gonna start charging membership fees.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
I don't know, but right now they're getting start and
they are really just trying to get the black girls
out and others, come on and have a good time.

Speaker 3 (20:05):
If you're trying to make friends and you're a single
mom and it's just like, ah, I.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Go, how do I do this?

Speaker 3 (20:10):
And I need people to understand what I'm going through.
I told you guys last week. Follow thevill dot ATL Friday,
October eighteenth, at six forty five pm. There is a dinner.
It is for single mothers who just need to feel
pretty and seen, have a good time, have some cocktails
or some mocktails, get honored. There's a red carpet experience.
Put on your makeup, says wear heels or don't I understand?

(20:33):
I know kids what I got people around to have kids,
and y'all feed me hurding mine do too, Mine too.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
It is rough.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
So if you are a single mom and you're just
like I want to find other single mom friends, follow
the vill dot Atl. If you can't go to the dinner, cool.
If you want to just go, you want to sponsor
somebody you don't have kids, and you're like, but I
got money, bitch, Well why don't you sponsor a single
mom that maybe you know or don't know to go
to this dinner? It is not an expensive ticket. Go
to the vill dot Atl on Instagram. Check it out

(21:03):
and go. I'm probably gonna try to go. I told
the girl her name is Essie. She's so dope.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
If I can make it, I'm definitely gonna go.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
And I was like, I mean trying, got a kids,
but I'm just gonna sit there and love on the moms.
If you if you aren't gonna go to the dinner,
or if you're gonna sponsor somebody. They also she does
events throughout the year, just bringing single moms together, if
you're struggling with postpartum, if you're struggling with anything like
come to get Community is so important and so we're
always gonna just try to push different types of communities

(21:31):
that you can join so that you can just get well.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Honestly, So if you.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
Can go, go, if you're scared, go if your fearful goal,
if you're broke, go just do all the things all
the time.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Okay, We're gonna move on to wed sex, and I
promise I tried to hold it, but I'm gonna have
to tingle first.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
So when we come back, we're.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Going to wear sex and we are actually gonna breathe
through these advice and watch McCall it's uh cocktails, but
we've got some, so we'll be back.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
You said a man is not a necessity. A man
is a luxury like dessert. Yeah, the man is absolutely
not necessity. Did you mean that to sound meaning bitter?

Speaker 4 (22:10):
Oh not at all.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
I adore dessert. I love man.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
I think men are the coolest, but you don't really
need them.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
To live, all right, you guys, So we are back
in a time for we'd tex this when is quick?
This came from a listener, she says, So boom, a
lady comes into the ED. I guess that's the same
as the er. Okay, after getting hit by a car,
who I hope. So after getting hit by a car,

(22:37):
and we're all moving fast, doing the whole trauma thing,
hands to toe scans, IV's the works. I'm thinking broken
bones are internal bleeding. Right then the CT comes back
and the tech is like, y'all need to see this.
We look, and clear as day, there is a butt
plug just chilling in there like it belongs on the chart.
The whole room got quiet for a second, and you know,

(22:58):
we were all trying not to crack up, but it
had to cover my mouth because the laugh was ready.
Sis was medically sedated due to her injuries, so she
had no idea of our discovery. Imagine almost getting taken
out by a sedan and your little secret gets exposed
in the process. The er is truly undefeated, and you
never know what you're gonna get.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
That is wild.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
So many people will end up in the er because
of their butt plugs. This one just happened to be there,
and now her business does She's probably on the way
to a booty.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
That's for you.

Speaker 3 (23:27):
I already got mine, uh all of it.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah, So that's it for word sex. Thank you for
sending that in.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
Who else is working in the hospital or someone somewhere
like this where you are seeing these crazy things happen
all the time? I want to know what else is
getting stuck up there besides the butt plugs, any other
things that are not supposed to be there. At least
a butt plug goes in your butt, like when people say, like, oh,
there's a squirrel or a iPhone charger. I'm like, now,
why did you pick that?

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Why did you do that?

Speaker 3 (23:59):
I think there would be so dope if they let
us like host a show that was about like weird sex,
but not just weird sex, but like also just like
crime stuff.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
And we're just we just pop up like why the
fuck did you do that? Oh? You know what I mean? Yeah,
we were like he's cheating, like you know, like not
like because I don't want to like talk to.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
My person, you don't stab me, but we're just going
to the people who are in these other predicaments.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah, and we're like, why was y'all doing that? Like
they don't know we're about to pop up. We're like
what was happening? Like we got real questions what they
would say? Could you I would be so embarrassed.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
Speaking of embarrassed, I wanted to just say something really quick.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
So a lot of services that I get, like I
get really close to the people that do the services,
because how can you not. And so there there's a
girl that does a service for me, and we always
talk about dating is a hot topic, whether you want
it to be or not. I didn't even tell her
how to podcast and I didn't even know that she knew,
and I didn't know everyone in the building knew. I
think that's really funny when you're like, y'all, bit is

(24:56):
really here, proud, but I'm here.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
I don't even know ware. I gotta pay.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
But so I thought this was interesting, Kiki, and I
want to get your take on it, because this has
never been my experience and I can't believe that women
are out here experiencing this what I'm about to say. Okay,
So we were talking about dating, and she was like,
I'm just done, Like you know, I'm not gonna like
do like men are just on my nerves and her
men are on my nerves, like a different me saying,

(25:21):
you know, I'm just gonna take a break because of heartbreak,
a very specific heartbreak. And she was like, I was like, well,
what do you mean, because you've seemed like your heart
is hard. My heart's not hard all the way, but
she just seemed like she was coming from like a
hard heart place. And I was like, you got to
be really careful about how your heart is postured, and
when it's getting too hard, you got to make sure
you check that because niggas gonna hurt your feelings at

(25:44):
the end of the day, you know what I mean.
You got to learn how to work through it, break up, divorce, whatever.
Somebody you had said, somebody here, I'll talking to no more.
You can't just let it guide you for the rest
of your life. Everybody's not the same. I don't care
how much should I say to parents hot, there's good
men out here. And so she was like, well, I'm done.
And she was like, and she told me, she said,
you know, I've never been treated nicely by a man

(26:04):
in my life.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
She's not the first person that told me that.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
Okay, she said, I've never been treated nicely by a
man in my whole life. I've never been given flowers,
she said, I've never been taken on a real date.
We hosted show and we talk about dating and sex
all the time, and like I was, I was just listening.
I was like, I'm not even gonna say thathing because
never how old is she? I mean, we're not far

(26:28):
from the same age. And she said, my whole life,
she said, my whole life, I just have not I
don't know what it even means to have a man
treat you nice. She was, She's not being abused, but
she was like, they don't want it to know, it's
not experience. Yeah, I got to beg to be taken
on a date. She's not ugly, she's cool. I mean
I don't know her outside of the service, but like
she's not ugly, she's cool, she's I mean, I was like.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
All right.

Speaker 3 (26:53):
I was like, man, I was like that's rough, Like
that's a now when you say stuff like that. But
I had to take a break and I was getting
treated right to a certain extent, like you know what
I mean, Like it was like it didn't work out,
but it wasn't like.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
I'm never going on a date.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
You never got flowers, you never got a shown appreciation, Like.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
You don't think I'm attractive. You just keep me in
a room to fuck me. Like that is not even
if it's just a one night stand, which I've had,
or it's just a sex thing we gonna eat in public,
you know what, it's not like.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
Mich don't nobody's gonna know about you. And I was like, wow,
how many women is this happening? That's not right? And
so I happened to a lot. Has that ever happened
to you? No, I'm gonna eat too, bitch, go out. Yeah,
we're going out.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
So you think you're gonna hide me from the club,
I'll show you. I'll show you what happens if you
try to hide me from the club. Now I don't
be there no more.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
But I would go on dates.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Now there's levels to the dates, but I would go
on dates.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
So no, that's no way. I feel like you're a
purposely hiding me.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
I'm hiding you. If someone's being hid if you getting.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
Here, ain't no way. I don't hit some. I don't
hit some. And even still we got it. Take me.
I still get your little birthday gift. I was like,
what this.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Is a this is outrageous. I said, there is no
way that we got to start a group. Like why
are y'all dealing with this? She was like I didn't
say that. I was just listening. And she was like, yeah,
I've never been treated nicely by man. And I was like,
if this is what is happening, I'm sorry that you
can't even be mad at the men. You need to
take a moment and sit down because that's not normal.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
Now I am going to be mad at the man.
Now I get where you may be going with like
how you keep doing it? Like I don't.

Speaker 4 (28:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
But the other part of this is that you could
consider is like how much people try to normalize bad behavior.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
So depending on.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
Who you actually talk to and experience life with your friends,
your family, all of this if you are around other
people who also have the same shared experience of never
being treated right, these are the type of people that
are in the comments saying that you're doing too much
when you do something really nice for a guy or
when you expect something from a man.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
These are people who.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Probably know and maybe have dated these other men who
are always talking about we're doing too much, who are
always trying to equate dates to prostitution and stuff.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
It's all about perspective.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
So no, I am mad at the guys because you
don't have to do that. I do think I'm not
mad at her or any other woman going through this.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
I would say, do you want it? Or do you no? No?

Speaker 1 (29:33):
Do you want to go on a date, do you
want somebody to treat you with respect?

Speaker 2 (29:38):
Or are you okay with this?

Speaker 1 (29:40):
You need to ask yourself that and tell yourself the truth,
because you might be chasing something that you think means
something and really, you don't give a fuck about none
of it, and you've got a lot more work to
do than the person who does want that but isn't
getting it. Hasis it's out there, and so instead of
feeling like you've got to have so many experiences or

(30:00):
the first experience that is coming your way or one
of the next few, you know how to hold out
a bit. You've got to stop expecting instant gratification, because
if you just accept whatever is thrown at you, I
could also see how you end up with a lot
of shitty experiences if you just always accept whatever is
thrown at you the first thing, first come, first served,

(30:21):
versus he ain't really talk about nothing. You're not trying
to plan a date. I'm not doing this. Lots of
people have men approach them that way, where they are
acting like it's going to be a day but you
always call me last minute. For me, if we're planning
day up, that's not a date, that's a hangout and.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
Like activities might be the same. But when I say
I want you.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
To plan a date, that means planned in advance reservations.
I was talking to a friend recently and she's a
gorgeous woman, and while she hasn't had experiences that men
never take her seriously, there was one that was trying,
and she was like, oh, I don't know what he's
used to, but but he has met his match. Because
when I say you need to plan a date or

(31:04):
I won't see you, I mean that. And so he
kept coming at or kept coming at her. He was
trying to spend money, do all these things, like trying
to do the typical, and she was like, no, I'm
literally telling you you need to make advanced plans. He's like,
I don't know when you're free. She was like, and
that's why you got to shoot your shot, because what
you're not gonna do is keep trying to meet me
places and keep trying to like do a last and

(31:24):
and thing. Okay, we're both out running errands. It doesn't
mean I won't come, but that didn't count for a date.
And so like, you're just gonna have to be a
little bit more strict and ignore everybody who's saying you're
being too strict. If you're getting something that you don't want,
you don't have to settle for it, because that's exactly
what you're doing.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
And sometimes I don't even think it's someone's telling you
that you're too strict. Like more, when we got more
into the conversation and I was getting curious and asking questions,
I noticed, like there's this norm of like people talking
about the thing.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
I was like, what do you pay attention to in
a man that is interested in you?

Speaker 3 (31:54):
She talked about goals, definitely talked about money and talked
about like very much he realistic things, not in a
city girl way, but just in a way where like
you think this is a woke way to approach dating,
And anybody who's listening to this, if you think that's
the right way, cool. We all have different goals as
far as love and family lifestyle. And I said, well,

(32:15):
I'm just going to give you a different way to
think about this. Cool, Like, obviously people want somebody to
have the money and have a goal. In my mind,
I look at it like you're coming with that I
don't really meet. It's been a very long time since
I've just met a broke nigga, you know what, Like
it's just that hasn't happened. And so I said, but
let's what I've noticed that's important to pay attention to

(32:36):
pay attention to because you can have money and you
can have the goals, and you can accomplish the goals
and he can still treat you badly. You need to
be paying attention to people's habits. You need to be
paying attention to what people are doing in their free time.
And she was like, well, what do you mean by that?
I said, well, I'm learning this too, I said, on
Saturday morning, what is somebody doing?

Speaker 2 (32:57):
Like what is he doing? Like? Is it just I
just went to the club.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
I'm waking up at twelve and then I'm gonna do
this all over again.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
I'm drinking I'm doing.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
It's not a judgment, but like if look at somebody's
life and look at their patterns, or is he volunteering?
Is there something that he does he spend time with family?
Does he plant a garden? Like I don't know, Like
we don't pay attention to like what someone is doing
in their free time before I got here, Like, what
is something that you actually do and you enjoy doing

(33:26):
it and it has nothing to do with money, It
has nothing to do with how you benefit from it.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
I think like you're missing out.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
On what a good person is and in turn, that
makes you look at yourself, what you doing on a
Saturday morning?

Speaker 2 (33:40):
What you doing?

Speaker 3 (33:40):
How do you start your morning, how do you end
your night? How do you treat people? M And I
was and she was like, I said, change some of
your own habits. And it's very interesting when you start
to like, does he pray? I'm not even trying to
make this like super does it?

Speaker 4 (33:58):
Though?

Speaker 2 (33:59):
Like do when y'all when y'all do go eat, do
y'all pray over the food?

Speaker 3 (34:02):
Some of these things matter so much, and you think
that they don't. But if you pay attention to these
small habits which are really actually big, you might not
run into the niggas. That's don't try to hide you
behind closed doors and just have sex with you and
not do anything else with you, because you see that
they care about people.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
Or you notice it from the beginning. Clock it and
move on.

Speaker 3 (34:23):
Bye, y'all. We gotta get well, We gotta get well.
I've that made me just so sad because she said that.
But also I had a few other friends tell me
that I didn't know that I had a very close
girlfriend telling me. She was like, I know, I go
on dates, but like, the men aren't nice to me.
And I was like, why is you going men right?

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Because like we can both be mean if you want
to play that game, I can be a bulldog too,
you a little big yeah, like you gonna sit here
and be me?

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Oh, you have met your magic because I've been practicing
these jokes in my head for a minute.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
I was just waiting on a bullfrog looking.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Nigga to get in my face so I could say,
now let's go. You want to see you heard I
hate man will. I'm not gonna beat the allegations today.
You know, sometimes you're just not and he's not gonna
feed you. And then if I'm hungry, Now that escalated
to hangary, that's.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
The bare minimum food.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
First of all, I then said it once, I'll say
it a thousand times. Don't you invite me out? If
eating it in the planet? Like why is food not there?

Speaker 2 (35:24):
You want to hang out?

Speaker 1 (35:25):
I know you're gonna want to eat this pussy, so
you get to eat that dog because I'm not eating that.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
Y'all gotta really understand that we do have a prize
and you don't have to give it up. If you
don't think the vagina is a gift, you don't need
to be dating ma'am, I'm talking to women. If you
don't actually think that, like if he gets it, even
if he doesn't, that's what he wants and you don't have.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
To give it up or you can. But I mean,
I'm just saying, like.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
I'm just like full, I'm going on a day on Wednesday,
and I am the dude said what you want to do?
I said, I want you to plan a day? I
want you to plan a day, bitch. I didn't say
that part. I didn't say that part, but I did say, like,
what are the like you tell me what you could do?
Because I'm also trying to understand that, like everybody doesn't
have money, so like, and I'm not like super like

(36:14):
you need to be like what can you do? I'm
real big on like what.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Can you do?

Speaker 3 (36:18):
Say?

Speaker 2 (36:18):
I just want you to make the plan? What can
you do? That's it? And I was shocked by this.
I don't know him. I don't know this guy.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
And he invited me to his birthday last weekend and
I went, I was like, I don't want to see
what you're doing.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
I was absolutely impressed. I was like, nice birthday party.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
It was so much fun and the people were nice.
The girls, when everybody was just nice. He's he sends me,
he sends me a message, He's like, all right, cool.
I said, I can I have some availability on Wednesday?
Trying to act all busy, right, I said, I have
availability on Wednesday? He said, you want to go on
a helicopter ride? You want to do a wine tasting?
Or would you like to go to the movies?

Speaker 4 (36:52):
What?

Speaker 2 (36:53):
She picked the helicopter ride?

Speaker 3 (36:54):
She did, okay, but I also was kind of also
flex I've already done it, but I want I'll do it.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
But that's so fun. Yeah, it's cool. Want to go
to the movies. We can't talk.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
We can't talk, and really we don't need to talk,
but like like, let's just need to talk. I don't
want to talk. I think men are on my nerves
so much right now. I just want you to spend money.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
Okay, Well, now I'm confused why that just went against everything.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Well, it's just a process. I'm just going to a
process right now.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
Just understanding. But that's why I'm confused. I'm going through
the processes right this week currently.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
We're going on a helicopter ride, and I really I'm playing.
It's gonna be kind of loud, so it's gonna be
hard to talk anyway. And just like, oh that's so nice.
Look at that. Yeah, like, well you have the headphones on.

Speaker 3 (37:33):
Yeah, you can hear it loud, but you can hear
each other and it's like a studio you can git it.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
Okay, but I still think it's loud.

Speaker 3 (37:40):
So and but that happened, and I'm like, you don't
know anything about me anybody.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
Y'all be just not getting food. We're going after some
people are not, I know, but stop doing that. That's
what that's the whole point. Are very loud about what
they're not gonna do.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
So I can see how easily somebody could think that
people who are lying about having these other experiences when
you and your circle are not.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
It's sad. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just not right.
I've had enough people to see.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Okay, I see how y'all think this, because it's not
you don't live it, and you don't you only see
people online with a different experience.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
There's nobody you can reach out and touch.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
But would you say with the people who were having
these below the bar in hell experiences, would you say that, like,
are they Are they like expanding their minds? Are they
trying to be around different I.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
Know because they're not anybody super close to me, because
if they could reach out and touch me, I would
have been told their asses, he's not doing enough. But
it's like we have a mutual person and we just
all happen to be somewhere in these different moments, and
I'm just like, huh, confusing.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
I don't know what their types are.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
When I did ask a few questions, there were some
people where I was like, Okay, I've got to dig
deeper with this. It might be a location thing and
you don't like what you see in the mirror, which
is causing a low self esteem. And then other people
it's like are you lying? And then other people, well
I see why, and not because it's anything wrong with
what you look like, but because as you talk and

(39:16):
the things that you speak about, and just like how
you're handling this whole thing, from talking about the men
to talking to this group of women, I can see
why nobody that wants something is going to be interested
in having this conversation because I'm annoyed.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
Okay, Like you.

Speaker 1 (39:31):
Know when you talk about somebody and they just act
like they deserve everything. They're putting out bare minimum effort,
but don't understand why they're still in this place. And
then when you try to open it up about other things,
it's so many superficial things and it's like you.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
Have no death. I get it, Okay, So there's levels
to it. Yeah, there's lots of different situations. But I
wish y'all luck. I hope that if anybody is going
through that.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
Pause, it might pause who you're around, Like do they
say the same thing? Do they feel like, oh, this
is normal, this is okay. Are people encouraging you that
it is all right? That's the most important thing I
would say. And if the answer is yes, you need
to be around different people, Yeah, you need your environment,
Yeah you need to.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
I just don't. My feelings would really be hurt.

Speaker 3 (40:17):
And again I'm not saying that like every experience is
a relationship. Sometimes it is just sex, and my feeling
still be hurt and you still we still ate some
food what like what like? I just that was I
was really like says sit down, you need to sit down.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
You don't deserve this, Like she's a good person. I think,
like I don't nor but like yeah, and I mean.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Yeah, you never really know somebody, so you're getting bed
with them. So anyway, I hope something better happens for her.
We still was chit chatting, so you'll not getting no
advice or cocktails out of time.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
That's all right, we've had, we have.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Them ready, so now you know when you hear this,
if you didn't squeeze your advice or cocktails, we will
skip a catchup, probably when we record, but just sitting
in the advice or the cocktails.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
We will try and get you in a sap.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
Make sure you, guys, look at the description, look at
all the links, look at all the things you have
going on. If you're searching for a community, we gave
several options for that.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Bye you guys. Oh wait, I forgot follow us cocktails podcast.
I'm at Keiki said, so.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
I at coffee and until next week, you guys, good Bye.

Speaker 4 (41:25):
Good bye, bye bye bye bye b relation, good

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Bye bye bye try bye bye bye

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