Execute Episode 66

Episode 66
Execute Episode 66

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It’s Ryan’s Birthday!!! At least…it WAS… but I missed it. We talk about all sorts of fun things like… The Weather, Recycling, Dieting and Ryan’s NEW JOB!

Ryan’s 'Highlight of the Week' is…uh… dull. Then I attempt to make Ryan take all the word knowledge I spray at him and lap it up like a good boy in “Suck on my Big Fat Dictionary”.

In Hardy’s Hardest Hats, Tom Hardy goes with the T-800 to find John Connor & save him… but will Tom’s presence be a help… or a hindrance?

We’re super excited to be joined by Agent Scott & Cam the Provocateur from the SpyHards Podcast. We talk about their pod, how they met and we ask the tough questions like… which Bond portrayal is their favourite & what’s the best Bond Theme. Oh and we also smashed out a game of ‘Why Did They Give Them 1 Star!?’

Here’s the links for SpyHards:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/spyhards
Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/SpyHards

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RyPaul

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
All right, Paul, all right, mate, I just wanted to say
thanks so much for my birthday card. Oh may you? Oh fuck yeah?

(00:45):
Hello, and welcome to the ColdCorners comedy podcast and association with Podbreed
and Quite the Thing Media Networks.I'm all Rich and I'm Ryan Brannon.
Every episode, me and Paul gettogether for a catch up and we invite
you to say, and ran abirthday card because I forgot Yes, yes,
Paul did, he did, soyou don't You have sent one now,

(01:07):
though, haven't you? Well Sunday, so I figured I would just
send it tomorrow. Oh, Isee on the day that this is released,
this is a week ago now,because if fortnightly, it's confusing.
So we're actually like, yeah,when you're listening to this, if you're
listening to some day one, whichmost of you will, of course,
Um, it was a week agothat was my birthday. Yeah, and

(01:29):
by then Ryan would have received acard, even though he never sends me
one. I do send you cardsoccasionally. I think I did about last
year. I can't remember. Idon't think I think we said forget it.
Yeah, I think we both didtoo. But we're out of lockdown
now. I suppose I could sendyou a card. Yeah, um,
not sending a present though, Nomoon moon pigt mate. I was thinking

(01:55):
I might just get like your facesuperimposed like a massive cock next it.
That's what people does that start getprinted though the moon pig would do that.
Family can't this Happy moon pig toJohn, Happy moon pig to Chris.
Oh my god? But yeah,no, it was my birthday last

(02:20):
week. World today, I'm notgoing to pretend like it was last week
because it is today that we're recordingthis. I've actually taken time out of
my birthday to come and do this. Shit. This is your birthday present,
mate, you know it. Thisis my birthday present to you.
I'm giving up some of my timespend it with you for your birthday.

(02:40):
Oh that's very that's very kind ofyou. Welcome, You're welcome. But
yeah, yeah, it's Um,I'm now in I'm now at the age
of well, elude, you neverchols, but you're a dude. So
but yeah, I mean, youknow, I mean I'm thirty five and

(03:01):
and the third months. So wecame plus a year. Um, yeah,
thirteen months isn't more than a year. You've added a month to your
Oh yeah, well the thirty fiveyears and twelve months in a day.

(03:24):
Yeah, yeah, I'm glad wesorted that out because I was going to
stress me right out. You know. I felt like I popped into to
Westfield, which the shopping center Nearerand I live, and the Stratford one,
the Stratford one. Yeah, thisyear, this one. Um.

(03:46):
And It's been a while obviously sinceI've had to interact with large groups of
people. Um, you know,I got you know, when I go
to work and stuff like that,I have to go on the tube.
But going to Stratford, I justforgot how stupid people are in general.
Like, you know, people justdon't wear masks. They just sort of
want to stand next to you andbreathe heavily. You're kind of like,
fuck off, Well they sit nextto you and you kind of like for

(04:09):
god sakes. Um, But thiswas this was this was the kind of
like the pinnacle of stupidity. SoKate she went into Boots to get to
get something and I was stood bythe bins outside and the bins the bins
are like they're like separated bins,popular meeting point the bins. Yeah,

(04:30):
the Britons. But you've got thegeneral binst the and then you've got and
then you've got like recycling, andthen there's like the husbins. But yeah,
you've got general recycling. Got paper. Ye. So this woman sort
of walks over, munchon and bananafinishes it, looks at the bins,

(04:53):
looks at them, doesn't It's notlike a quick thing. She actually looks
directly at the bins and and sortof studies them for a good five seconds,
and then banana skin into the paperwaste. I could were they right
next to this, it's a unitof bins, like it literally would have
been a case of moving her handslightly to the right to put it into

(05:13):
the right one. And I wasjust like, the fuck's sake, Like,
either she's going out of her wayto like be like rebellious yea and
cause and cause havoc anarchy in thein the you know, refuse world.
Um or she thinks that bananas havemade of paper like that kind of whens

(05:38):
fibrous content. It is paper liketrees. I guess it goes in paper.
I mean, I suppose if youdried it out for long enough and
kind of like you know, likeI mean, I mean Egyptians obviously,
is like Papya, didn't they whateverthey made the sort the paper out of
parchment paper, Papyrus, papyrus,papyrus. I don't love that fruit.

(06:00):
I don't know, it wasn't afruit. But you know, you can
do a lot of things with it. I mean, you can make coat,
you can make leather out of bananaskins maybe, and if you dry
banana out enough, you get triedbanana and you put it in your cereal
and stuff. So yeah, that'shit's good. Get on that. The
point is, though, even ifyou even if you even if it could
be made out into a leather coat, it's still not paper, no correct.

(06:24):
I think what they may be whatthey need to do is because you
know, you cannot apparently, youknow you can't plan for idiots. Yeah,
nothing's idiot proof, I guess.So maybe she didn't. Maybe this
should just be a third little sectioncalled food waste. Yeah, but she
still would have gone straight for thepaper then probably. I feel like I

(06:46):
feel like you say idiot proof,I feel like it's not even asshole proof,
you know. But yeah, I'vehad a nice day. It's been
it's been good. It's been.It's been pretty relied. Actually, the
weather there's been a bit. Iactually we went from meal and obviously at
the moment we're still in the pros, it was still in the time.

(07:08):
Annoyingly, tomorrow is when I thinkrestaurants and pubs you were allowed to go
inside and eating today. Well,yeah today, if you're listening recording wise,
today is the day before that.So we went out from meal,
so we had to set outside andit was raining, so we had to
sit underneath this like gazebo thing.Where was it? Rain was pouring down

(07:29):
the side. Was it a gazebo? Was it enclosed? Yeah, so
you we're inside outside, Well itwasn't. It didn't. It didn't have
walls on it, right, ithad like it had like panels on either
end, but it was kind ofopen pretty much. It was open.
But yeah, there was rain comingthrough. We luckily we went and dripped
on which reminds me actually of thetime which we never talked about. I

(07:53):
never talked about this, which waslast year when we went to an actual
restaurant. I'm not going to saywhat the restaurant is, and they sat
us in this kind of outside section, but it wasn't. It was like
it was like it was like aglass kind of outside section and we got
rained down conservatory almost, Yeah,it was it was like a conservatory part
like out of the front. Idon't know how that classes outside and how

(08:16):
it makes it better than the inside, which seemed pretty empty with everyone just
stuffed in this thing outside. Butyeah, we were getting rain downe with
rain just pouring on us, andit was like we're just looking at the
waiters as they have them walking past, and it's just like I'm getting soaked,
Like what it's going on. Idon't have a meal and I'm just
getting wet. Eventually they didn't moveus, but just yeah, bizarre,

(08:41):
bizarre, like I can't wait,I cannot wait until well, ay,
I'd prefer if just the weather wasnice. Yeah, but no fact in
England. I mean, I canalso see why we never mentioned that last
year when it happened, because itwasn't that interesting then. But I'm kidding,
but I like fact we managed toget it in because it made sense.

(09:03):
Yeah, there's a reasoning. Umthe weather though, You're right,
it's god awful. This time lastyear we had a heat wave. Yeah,
all coincidentally I wasn't allowed to workin the market either, And now
I am allowed to work in themarket, and they were there's ship and
it's just like, well it's typical, Mary, Yeah, isn't it the
law of the SOD. I neverI never really understood the whole. I

(09:28):
mean, like, are your markets? Are they always packed? Like people
just like streaming through like sort ofrubbing faces against each other. Is that
why why I wasn't allowed there?Yeah, weren't allowed to never. I
don't know why. But the peoplethat and I guess the people that make
the laws or the rules in thecouncils that I think on the government,
I think that's how they imagine it. Yeah, hustling bustling of twelfth century

(09:52):
market people selling livestock. I guessI was sure some markets are like that,
to be fair, like especially someof the kind of eastern London ones
and stuff like that where the streetsare quite narrow. Yeah, maybe maybe
not not your ones, like yourones don't really seem like that, your

(10:13):
upper class or posh markets, Uhsure, pushed well, I do do
stains market stains. And you're listening, but come on, come on,
you know what you are, youknow well, you know you're not you're
not eating. You know you're astone's throw away from eating and windsor and

(10:33):
you ain't that um but but youknow what I mean, your your store
though it's not. No, it'snever busy if it listens. But that's
the thing. The busy stalls areeither food stalls. They could remain open.
Yeah, but people need food.I get that. It's it's you
know, it's essential. I wasn'tessential. People don't need clothes. Yeah,

(10:54):
well they don't need clothes. Youonly need one set of clothes essentially.
Everything else is a want, isn'tit I suppose Yeah, I guess
it's kind of These don't fit anymore tough, they're not essential. Shouldn't
have been eaten all the time.I haven't been. I've been. I've
been bettering myself and working. Yeah, now they're too big for me,
Well shrink them. That's not truemy case. I ballooned, although I'm

(11:20):
in the process of losing weight.So really, how's it going? Well?
I was fifteen stone four, whichis massive for me, Like that's
the heaviest I've ever been. ButI weighed myself this morning fourteen stone seven.
Hey. Nice, Desinthly that's almostthe stones last, isn't it.
No, I know, because it'snot. Sorry it's fourteen stone twelve.

(11:43):
But still pretty good. I justrealized very good. Still very good.
Yeah, we'll see tomorrow. Imight be more again. I think I
don't trust scales. No. Thething is, I never I never use
scales because I mean, if you'rebuilding muscle, that's gonna be heavier than
anyone. But I'm not. I'mjust trying to lose weight right now.

(12:03):
Yeah. But also like if youcan look in the mirror and look at
yourself and go, oh, Idon't have me, then yeah you do,
and I'd have you as well.Um. That's the thing. I
never used to worry about my weighteither when I was looking good. Um
yeah, and now I look.But when you look in the mirror and

(12:24):
you go oh, look at that, and then you grab it with both
hands and you wiggle it and itcould be room for another two hands holding
it, that's when you know,Alana, help me and wiggle this anyway.

(12:45):
That's also you mentioned earlier in theepisode about you know, taking the
tube to work. You got anew job, mate, do Yeah,
I got a new job. Tellus about it. What do you do?
Um, so I'm working for astudios, which is like the way
they film and TV adverts, films. I mean they do locations and like

(13:07):
no, not Marvel studios now,it's they do they more kind of like,
um, this is basically got thestudios and they also have locations,
but I work in the studios andit's kind of more for sort of like
smaller, smaller adverts and filming andphotoshoots for fashion and things like that.
Yeah, it's basically my job tosort of, um just set the studios
up really like it's a lot ofrunning up and downstairs and lifting things.

(13:31):
Um, It's it's tough. Thisis very tough. It's long, long,
hard days. But you know,I'm grateful to have a job that's
still at the moment because of theway things are. I'm just grateful to
be working. I think it's thebest best way to be. I'd rather
be sat on my ass not No, I M much more enjoyable where you
can just sit and just stuff thingsinto my gut like a duck. But

(14:01):
no, I am. I amgrateful to be sort of like earning some
money there. Yeah, I meanit's not well right now. It's it's
mental Health Awareness Week or whatever.I mean, it probably isn't when this
episode comes out. I mean,you should always be aware of minute health,
don't forget about it. But yeah, no, it has. It's
it's been a weight off my mindin terms of in terms of my mental

(14:24):
health, just to sort of like, you know, be busy, to
have a purpose. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. We should have probably promoted
Tearsful Down this week, but Ididn't know it was mental health Week.
So mister Bow, I know,I'm aware that Mental Health Awareness Week isn't
about promoting your singles and stuff.It would have made me a favor.
It would have made us very happy. Check out the video, check out

(14:46):
the film ran. Listen to GameOver, which is also about heartbreak,
which is you know, again ina mental affliction. We've got a new
song coming out at some point.It's a slight delay on that because we're
both working a lot. Now.Yeah, um, just edit, yeah,
very close. I need to redothe guitar solo at the beginning because

(15:07):
Ryan doesn't understand what I'm asking himto do. Yeah, because you you
send me a message going like yeah, oh my um sort thing it was
if you could just go real billy. Dude, dude, dude, it's
like, I don't know what thatnobody originally want to send. You had
music in the background, so youcould hear when I was doing it.

(15:28):
I can I can hear. Yeah, I can hear that. But still
that's not notes. Like you know, it's gonna take me long to figure
it out. I know, butyou didn't even try. Ten seconds later,
you're like, done it. Listento this. Sent me a video
of what you did, and itwas like, yeah, but I don't
realize you specifically didn't realize you specificallywanted that, like you were just making

(15:50):
noises. I said, can youdo this instead? It's all I said,
Just for that, Okay, I'lldo it. Ten seconds later,
done, listen to it, Likethat's that's the same thing. No,
No, I've had that. I'vehad a little bit at the end,
Okay, so I expect that's thesame thing. No, no, I've
I've had a little bit at theend. Okay, So I expected to
hear what at least what I didat the end, even if it's in

(16:11):
the wrong place. But it wasn'teven what I sang. It was it
something what you wanted to do anyway. It made me laugh. No,
I'm not going to play it actuallybecause it will give away some of our
songs. Yeah, don't give it. But no, we are. I'm
super excited about that one. Itwill come out to this year. Um,
I think it will be would bea good summer jam. So I

(16:32):
think it's a bit good one.I really, I think it's um.
You know, I've showed it tothe missus UM and she was like,
I think that's my new favorite.So I think it's a good She then
messaged me weirdly and said, Ilove it. It's my it's my new
favorite. It could do with abit of tweaking at the beginning with the

(16:53):
first part. All right, there, you've had a new job, you've
had ship weather. But I missedthe murkiness of that. Was there a
highlight? Perhaps there was? Indeed, it's frights highlight off the week.

(17:15):
You Gager's highlight after Weeker, It'sright, it's highlight of the week,
highlight of the week. It's Fringer'shighlight off the week, Gas highlight of
the week. It's rights highlight ofthe week. It's highlight after week.

(17:41):
Got desk that Tragles highlight of theweek, it's highlight after week. There
you go, it's my highlight.Okay, I mean it's not. You
know, I got an I builtbasically an entire office studio over the last

(18:07):
week, and yeah, I'm veryvery happy with it. But the desk
was the highlight of it all becauseit's really cool. And Paul is ignoring
me. He's ignoring me again.I was actually looking for a long word.
Wow, it had all day todo that. Well, no,
even though I wasn't working today,I was busy not doing anything. All

(18:32):
right, Well, you've got anew desk. Your back is now supported
from your wonderful chair. That mustmean you're fitting and healthy enough to get
off the chair and onto your knees. Okay, and take it. Take
this word. Oh yeah, baby, I got so much knowledge for you.

(19:06):
Let me spream my words into yourmouth. Empty my open cabo balls,
let me beeve saurus your brains out. Oh, let me see lap
down my twelve ins dictionary. Sosuck my big fat dictionary. Hello,

(19:37):
and welcome to suck on my bigfat dictionary with me, Paul Rich and
the smart, clever, humorous,wonderful, handsome Ryan Brannon. Hello,
what all right? So? Areyou ready for a new word today?

(19:59):
I I am indeed hit me withyour rhythm stick this Kate? Well,
you know you know what I mean? Um, if I was, I
don't know if I've said this wordnow, you'll know if I was to
say the word petty fogger. Youhaven't said it before. Petty fogger,

(20:22):
petty fogger? Yeah, what wouldI mean? Is it like petty for
lou? I don't know what thatis, you know, the little the
little yogurt like, oh, pettifogger? So is it like p e t
t y that kind of petty?No with an eye? So p e

(20:45):
t t I, p e tt I E p e t t I.
And in foger f O g ge R. Yeah. Do you
think because I could spell it thatwould give you an indication? I knew
what it meant, but it doesn't. Um petty fogger, Um, I
mean I mean a fogger is usuallyreferring to a machine that creates fog when

(21:11):
it comes to slight, stage andscreen. I don't think it's that.
I don't think it's a little fogmachine that's too much working in a studio.
That is, it's been a weeklong week one week. You know
a lot um. Can you useit in a sentence without giving it away?

(21:34):
I can. This was written infifteen eighty one. The sentence does
it help you will say? Right, yeah, go for it, and
now saying his auntie and an oppositeenemy, the pope hath foisted in among
us petty foggers who like sheet stealers, tinkers, or Connie skin buyers creep

(21:56):
bink corners to utter their trash.I got, I got, I read
it out loud. I'm reading ithere. I don't want that meant by
Henry SDN. He was French.I mean, I guess maybe sort of
gossiping peasants, is it? Becauseof the way I read it? No,

(22:17):
No, because you were saying like, oh, it's people. It's
people sort of like basically talking aboutabout stuff, you know, gossiping.
Sure, we petty from his gossipers, that's my guess. But I'm guessing
that's not right. Yeah, Butto be fair to you, the sentence
I read was from fifteen eighty one. I think the meaning has has changed
slightly. Yes, so ship talkersclose, you are close. It is

(22:45):
it ships, ship spreaders, basicallypeople who talk shit about people. You're
not far off now, So thedefinition is as shyster a lawyer whose methods
are underhanded or disrepute. Okay,pet you best got me off of this

(23:07):
murder child with pettifogger. So shedidn't have a name, she doesn't have
a family. Umlass. The pettypart of this word comes from petty,
meaning insignificant, from the French petitesmall um for fogger. It once meant,

(23:30):
it once meant lawyer in English foggerapparently, but I said I was
kind of close with the the Frenchbit. Yeah. It may come from
fager, the name of a successfulfamily in the fifteenth and sixteenth century German
merchants and financiers. Germanic variations offugger were used for the wealthy and avaricius,

(23:52):
as well as for hucksters. Somany words. Yeah, all right,
Well, next time I meet alawyer, Yeah, is it just?
Is it just? Is it justthe lawyers? It just shyster,
isn't it? Well, basically mainlylawyers who who's who? As you're a
bit underhanded, right okay? Yeah, and you'll definitely want to use that.

(24:15):
Yeah, and you're going to needa lawyer. Do you know why?
Why? Because I'm gonna take yourown in public and you're going to
do something that's that's that's shouldn't bedone in public. You're gonna suck on
my big fat dictionary. Today's podcastis presented by Podgo. Podgo is the

(24:41):
easiest way for you to monetize yourpodcast, providing podcasters with a flat rate
for ad spects so you always knowhow much you get when you include an
ad from Podgo. Apply today toyou become a member and immediately be connected
with advertisers that sit your audience.That's podgo dot co p o d O

(25:02):
dot coo oh, and be sureto add our podcast in the how did
you hear about pod Goo section ofthe application. Now on with the show,
Well, I best, I guessI best. I guess it's time
to find out what happened to Tom. Yeah, I'm on tender hooks,
are you know? Yeah? Well, let me thank hell Raiser play that

(25:30):
funky music, wide boy? Howhard is y'all? How hard? How
hard is y'all? How hard isit? How hard is ya ah?
What does your fucking army fucking now. Oh oh shit, Hello and welcome

(26:19):
to another episode of Hardies Artists Ats, the show that proves all the world
at the stage and we are merelyplayers and we all get to wear wicked
call in it hats as always.I'm your host, Tom Hardy from Nona
Nana. I'm Preky did the blinders, No, no, Nana, Precky

(26:40):
did the blinders. This week,I've traveled back in time to the mid
nineties. Those were the days Iwas a bit of a skinny knitber then
and I won a toolbox on thebig breakfast that Denise ran out and oh
that scrabble her eggs Now. I'vecome back to this time because I need
to protect a kid called John Bonhamor sa guff I came back with his

(27:04):
big musley man bot thring. Hugehe is, and I ain't just talking
about his tallywacka ding dong. Fuckknows where he's got to. I might
check over there and at biker Bar, Hallo bikermen from Mars. My name

(27:26):
is charm Hardy. Oh up.I've got this show coming out in about
twenty five years about hats, butthat's not important right now. I'm looking
for a big Mustley bloke who isn'tBain. You won't know who he is
either, But that's besides the point. The one I'm looking for looks like
an Adonis, like Hercules, ifhe had an Austrian accent, came to

(27:49):
New York and had a haircut likethat bloke from the Last Action Hero.
Oh you know, the one hegot stuck in a skyscrape with Alan Rickman
and his mates. Was Mark throughof the universe with that skeleton bloke and
got bringing up by Carl Weathers.I we're about to New York, can

(28:10):
I? By the way, thisis Los Angeles, dude, and potato
tomato? Mate? What the hillis wrong with you? Little trap wind?
If I guess? But that's normalafter I eat cheesy WA's. It's
nice night for a walk, right, nice night for a walk? Wash
stay tomorrow? Nothing clean? Youfucking work. Oh you're referring to the

(28:33):
fact I'm start bollock naked. Yeah, we'll. Due to the time travel
process, only organic matter can passthrough the time machine, hence my John
Connor being out. You're a weirdguy, right listen, mate, I
need to close your boots and yourmotorcycle and your hat. I like them
village people ats not the Native Americanblokes that mind. You know, that's

(28:57):
racial stereotyping and a little bit ofcultural appropriation. Guy there is say big
Musley blow, Hello mate, Idid your clothes, your boots and your

(29:18):
motorcycle? I already asked, mate, and they were well ruled about it.
Forgot to say please Yeah to hardbarn snooker table Jesus again as the

(29:52):
Leavista baby. Yeah, like itsdeck watts. Wow. So this is
what an America male looks like.It's huge and there's so many shops here.
It's like quadruple the size of WestfieldDog it is here. They've got

(30:15):
a target here. Oh oh,can we go? We don't have a
target back in England, just shitlike Primark and they're now defunct Debrahams.
We have to move, all right. What's the fucking rush? The D
one thousand will know what the boyis. We have to find him first,
T one thousand what is that likea keyboard or something? This way
fucking know? How is it?I'm running but you still sink to me

(30:38):
walking jam Canner huh and wants toknow, Hello mate, I'm some hardy
and this is Actually I don't knowhis name. I'm just gonna call him
Frank because frankly, he's getting onmy last nerve. All right, tough

(31:00):
crowd, jam Kunner, come withme now, I'm not going anywhere with
you. You should do what hesays. Mate, he's annyingly persistent.
He never sleeps, he never eats, not even a Yorkie bar, and
he definitely looks like a Yorkie barkind of guy. Why are you naked?
Well, due to the time travelprocess, only organic matter can pass

(31:21):
through the time machine, and thatwas the only way I could travel back
in time to help protect you.Why are you still naked? Because this
prick wouldn't give me a chance tofind something I liked. And if I'm
honest, I can't wear leather trouserslike him. Gives me Robert schabrub.
This is a relevant jam Kanner.I'm here to protect you from domination.

(31:41):
Hey, Frank, look AT's thefuss that is not a law enforcement official.
Fucking now, he took his headclean off waiting minute. He's like
a man brooke made of good.We leave no mate, can you turn

(32:02):
into anything like? Could you turninto a hat? Run fosake, here
we go again. Oh fuck me, that was mental. That was a

(32:25):
crazy Lorrie slash bike chase with theshotgun and the explosions. You lot of
hope didn't get to hear any ofthat bit, sadly as Paul couldn't be
asked to with it. That wasinsane, all right, don't rub it
in for the folks at home listeninganyway. At least you're safe now,
John my boy. But me,oh shit, he is well dead.

(32:52):
After that, my mission is afailure and my self terminate no weight.
Yeah, fucking now, silly bye, you pig, silly billy. What
have you done? I didn't knowhe was going to be standing right there,

(33:15):
that's sure. He was a littlecunt. Anyway, did you repair
the damage we did in the past? I'm afraid not. Things became very
complicated when there was two of me. By the way, why are you
naked? Well? Due to thetime travel process, only organic matter can
pass. Look, there's no timefor that. We've got to do something

(33:35):
to save our future. What canwe do? We can't just magic it
away? You know what? Ithink we might just be able to.
Let's go the first I need tomake a stop for I need to pick
up my letter. Everyone has apointed view, everyone likes a film review.

(34:10):
There is a movie star. Yes, it's that time again. For
why did they give them one star? The one star movie review game show
game because we play it and showbecause it's on our podcast. If you

(34:30):
hear it somewhere else, tell usand we will write to the people that
you know, police podcast and tellthem they stole our idea and you'll get
shut down. So yeah, thepodcast police the police much meaning the normal
police. Yeah, they mainly operateon Twitter. Anyway. When we play

(34:51):
this game, we have guests on, and we're super excited about the guests
we have today. We haven't hada podcast on for an awful long time
actually, and well why why notget the winners bear with us? Say
I led it this out because youwon. No one actually answered our quiz
game last week, so we saidthat you won, and your prize has
been on the show anyway, Soour winners from from last week's movie review

(35:15):
game for the two weeks ago andtake us fortnightly now, Yeah, the
winners of movie review Game two weeksago was actually can the Provocateur and Agent
Scott from Spyhards who Yeah, hello, welcome to the show. Welcome,

(35:37):
so so great to have you onthe show. I've got to say Cam
loving the ant Man top very verythank you, thank you. I paid
three nine for it. It wasall worth it and that's Canadian dollars.
That's nothing, that's like any wow, yeah, god bargain amazing. Again,
were like super excited to have youon. But some of our listeners

(35:57):
may not have actually listened to byHearts podcast. We would like now for
you to have the opportunity to tellus what who you are again essentially and
what you're all about. So thebasic gist is every week we pick a
spy movie, be a good movieor not so good movie, and figure
out if it makes what we callthe knock list, and that's basically our

(36:22):
list of the best spy films ever. Cam is pretty good explaining the knocklist
that one. So the knocklist,it's an acronym for need to see official
classics of these Spyhearts podcasts. Soevery week, you know, whether we're
looking at Hitchcock stuff, James Bond, or some of the obscurities, we're

(36:43):
always trying to decide, you knowwhat are the greats? What are the
movies we could recommend to anyone whowas interested in the genre that is a
you know, no miss list,like you're gonna watch those movies and you're
gonna be like, I loved allof them. I love this genre.
So every week it is a bitof a debate because you get to some
more polarizing movie that you go like, hmmm, you know, this is
a really interesting movie, but doesit belong among the pantheon of the greats?

(37:05):
And so that's kind of the conversationthat ties into every movie we review
on the show. Nice Mr.So, I was gonna say, I've
got our ask the name spy HardIs that in reference to Leslie Neilson spy
Hard? Um? Sort of?I mean when we were kicking around titles,
Scott and I had a few.I remember Living Let Spy was one.

(37:28):
We had a mission Mission Impodible,which turned out to actually be an
existing podcast and a pretty good oneactually out there. Um and there was
for your ears only, But wesettled on Spyhards because yes, it does
tie to that nineteen ninety six LeslieNielsen film, but also we were able
to get all of the social media, the web domain, everything, and

(37:50):
it's super simple and easy to remember. Is It's great? And I love
that film, Dick Steele, loveit, Love it. Here's the one
obviously, you know one of youis from England and the other ones from
Canada. How did you guys meet? Oh? Yeah, how did this
happen? Well that's a that's awhole other story of a whole other genre

(38:13):
in a whole other country as well. So I met Cam, or Cam
met me Or we met each otherin Las Vegas, Nevada. Of all
places, we were at a stripclub and our eyes met in the champagne
room a magical night. No,we were at a we were at a

(38:36):
Star Trek convention of all places.Yes, o great, And I think
it was just through a friend ofa friend and and it was kind of
that and then we started talking abouteventually start talking about Bond films. That's
how we connected on the spy front. And I've known Camp for ten years
now and we go back to thisconvention every year in Las Vegas, although

(38:57):
not the last couple of years becauseof the dread did COVID. But apart
from that, yeah, and theneventually our sort of love of spider movies
and our connection grew and that TransatlanticBond formed that bond. So I've got
her ask. I mean, youknow, I don't know who wants to
go first? Favorite favorite Bond film? Oh boy, Scott, do you

(39:21):
want to go first? Do youwant me? I can. I can
take it because it's a very fluctuatingthing, like it really does move on
what I've watched recently. I wouldprobably go with Casino Royale currently, okay,
as opposed to the No No thatseven one. I guess I should

(39:46):
have asked probably favorite Bond rather thanfavorite Bond film. But we started now,
we'll come back to the favorite Bondin a minute. Yeah, but
yeah, Cam favorite favorite Bond film. So I'm kind of in this weird
boat where I kind of have toagree that if you're going to talk about
the best movie, like the bestmade film, it's Casino Royale. That

(40:06):
feels like it's taking the Bond filmand elevating it to a level we hadn't
really seen before. You. I'verewatched that movie probably, you know,
six seven times now. Every timeit just flies. It's just kind of
that perfect movie. I have alot of nostalgia though for the spy who
loved me. That is a veryimportant one to me growing up. I

(40:27):
was a huge Rodger Moore kid,Like that's what got me into the franchise.
And that was kind of the perfectRodger Moore one. You had Jaws,
you had actual sharks in the movie. To a twelve year old,
this was the dream movie. Sothat's kind of like my nostalgic favorite.
Yeah, what about you, poll, what's your what? You got a
favorite Bond film? Yeah, Ithink I do. I've got a real

(40:49):
soft spot for Golden I I reallydo ye. Golden Eyes a great one.
But because that actually was the onethat introduced me more to Bond films.
Um, I'd seen a few RogerMoore ones that I'd watched them maybe
when they're on you know, terrestrialtelevision back at like at home, and
my dad didn't really think much ofit. And Golden I really grabbed my
attention and it made me go backand watched the rest and I sort of

(41:14):
I think next, I know it'sprobably cliche, but for a while it
was gold Finger, But having watchedthat again recently, I was like,
yeah, but I get I don'tknow, it's not it's not so much
my favorite anymore. So. Ithink it's still kind of gold film.
It's caught a lot in Golden goldFinger, doesn't he And there's a lot
of questionable things he does that I'mlike, I'm not comfortable with that anymore.

(41:37):
So. I think for me,it has to go back to when
I was a kid and in myNaN's house, Styd a VHS copy of
Octopusy. So Octopusy is the oneas a kid that always kind of sticks
out of my head. And I'msure Octopusy was the one with the circus,
wasn't it. Yeah, Yeah,yeah, yeah, And I remember

(41:58):
I just loved that whole thing onthe train, you know, I mean
Last Crusade as well. You know, you know I love the bit on
the Trail, anything with trains.But yeah, for me, it's Octopusy,
and I think it's weird actually,Like technically, Pierce Brosnan was the
Bond I grew up with the sameas you, Paul. But yeah,
I think I watched so many RogerMoore ones as a kid that I don't

(42:22):
know, to be honest, ifeither of them are my favorite Bond,
We'll come around to that favorite Bonds. Favorite James Bond, uh st w
Scott, See this is harder.I struggle with this. Um. I
was the same as you both.Golden Eye was my first Bond film,

(42:43):
and so a lot of the timeI default back to Pierce Brosnin because that's
kind of really what brought me intothe game. Yeah yeah, But having
spent so many years since rewatching allof the Bonds, I think the best
Bond on screen is Sean Connery.Okay, okay, yeah, yeah,

(43:04):
he's saying, he says, theclassic isn't he um White self, Kim,
do you have a rebuttal or doyou agree? I have to agree
for me, as I said,I grew up watching Roger Moore, so
Tim, he defined what James Bondwas for me. But moving past that,
you know, reading a lot ofthe Ian Fleming books and then rewatching
all the movies over and over again. There's something especially about the Connery performance

(43:27):
in his first couple, like DoctorNohan from Russia with love, a lethal
quality that I don't know that we'veever really matched. You know, you
look at Daniel Craig, definitely you'vegot like the brutality, but you look
at sort of the Connery mold,which Connery was a kind of rough and
tumble actor, and they had totrain him on how to be the sort
of sophisticated gentleman on screen. Andyou can see that push and pull through

(43:51):
those performances of this guy who doesnot belong in these tuxes, giving these
kind of you know, orders forfancy drinks, and you feel that in
the character. And so there's somethingabout that Connery that's so special, that
sort of animalistic, you know,lethal quality mixed with sort of the refined
gentleman qualities. It's a pretty perfectstorm of a character. Yeah. Funny

(44:12):
he said animalistic because I believe thatwhen Sean Connery or you probably know this
story already, but when Sean Conneryauditioned and and he walked out of the
room, Um, Kabby Broccoli waslike, you know, he walks like
a panther, and and that's kindof what they that drew drew them to

(44:34):
him. Really, So yeah,for me, my favorite bond I like
you, Scott, I defaulted toPierce a lot um. But yeah,
for me, again, like asmuch as I enjoyed Daniel Craig and he's
probably one of the better actors toplay Bond, Um And the funny thing

(45:00):
is Timothy Dawton such an accomplished actor, theater actor, but he never because
they put the try to put thehumor into because he was following on from
especially from Roger Moore, especially LivingLet the Living Daylights. It never felt
he never felt comfortable with that stuff. He never really got that to work.
And that's why License to Kill wasa much better film for him.

(45:23):
Oh that was darker, much darker, and I enjoyed that because of it.
Yeah, but Bond needs to befor kind of almost almost everyone.
I've got to go back to SeanConnery. He's something very like you said,
special, and you know, evenI wanted to be him. That
was the Bond I wanted to be. Like you know if I always dreamed

(45:45):
about playing Gum, an actor,and I wanted to be Bond that when
I was younger, and I'd alwaysfocus on his performances and Sean Connery in
that style. So yeah, that'swhy I picked Sean Connery as well.
Ryan, Are you going to bedifferent? Yeah? Completely different? Um.
I Dalton Dalton all the way Iloved him, loved him if you
daltan um And yeah, License toKill with Robert Davy. I mean that

(46:12):
film is dark, like you knowor is it Felix Light is like newly
new new bride, just her nextsnapped, you know, lifted down in
the bed um. But I completelyagree with the whole thing of like with
Timothy Dalton, because he wanted totake it a more serious way, didn't
He wanted to get away from theRoger more kind of style of thing.
And yeah, the Living Daylights wasa kind of It was an odd one,

(46:35):
wasn't it, because you had thewhole thing when they were is that
the one which you got the cellistcellist, don't you yea? And they're
going down there's basically tobogganing in herin her thing and he's using as a
cello is like a weapon or something. Um, But yeah, no,
I mean a friend of mine,his favorite is it is George Lazenby really

(46:57):
yeah, as a joke's after you'renot actually saying his own lines, so
he's dubbed. So yeah, no, it's a weird I don't. I
don't. I mean, I kindof understand why, but I feel like
he's just a bit of a contrarian, to be honest. He gets probably
one of the most most compelling stories, you know, for Bond, that
kind of molds and he's an youknow, any what to do it the

(47:20):
once, So yeah, that's kindof a weird one for me always.
But he also wasn't really an actor. He was like a male model that
wound up with the job. SoI always feel it's almost impossible for me
to gauge on how really good Georgelason By is because the first time through,
you know, I'm sure there wasa lot of guidance from producers,
directors. I know Diana Raig hadto help him out a lot getting him

(47:43):
through that movie performance wise, Butlike, what is it like if we're
watching lason By in his third Bondfilm? You know, had he stuck
around, like maybe we'd have verydifferent opinions on him. But he wound
up with one of the best Bondfilms, but not necessarily one of the
best Bond performances. Do you guysknow, Do you guys know? I
mean, I don't have no idea. Do you guys know why he didn't

(48:04):
do any other films? It wasa contractoral dispute basically. Was it the
McClary stuff In the early nineties,Cam Uh No, that was That's why
Dalton left. Was the delay itfor Lason B. It was actually Lason
B got a lot of bad advicefrom an agent at the time, his
agent at the time. The storyhas become so muddled no one knows the

(48:25):
exact exact story. Even I don'teven think Lason B knows the story anymore.
But he basically says that he gotadvice or at least maybe even believed
himself that like, this was thesixties man, Bond's done, Bond is
over. We're moving into the eraof easy Rider and seventies filmmaking. I

(48:45):
can't be the establishment. I gottabe hip and cool, and so Bond
represented that, you know, anolder form of entertainment, an older person's
form, and we need to lookat the future, at the youth.
And so he bailed on Bond forthat reason. Oh god, damn what
you just be good, wouldn't you? You? Absolutely? God? I

(49:05):
mean he's still there's within the historyof Bond, but it's just kind of
ended after that, really, didn'the. Yeah, he reprised the role
actually on a TV movie of TheMan from Uncle, So you can look
that up on YouTube. It's prettystanding to take that one out. See
you guys, sounds so much,so much knowledge. It's great, and
it almost makes me afraid to sortof say any tidbits that I might know

(49:29):
in case I'm wrong. Um,but yeah, we often are as well
to be fair, so by allmeans, yeah, that's fine. Um,
okay, so we've done that.I think one more, best best
thing, um, best theme?Oh yeah, that's good one. Yeah.

(49:52):
It's so tough because I mean sooften the popular knowledge is well,
clearly gold Fingers, the greatest oneof all time, but because that's the
one that sets the mold and everything, and everyone's been trying to copy since.
I think though, for me,the best one is Live and Let
Die. That's the one that whenI'm listening to my Bond playlists, which

(50:14):
yes, I do listen to Bondplaylists, that's the one I'm the most
excited to always hear. I've beenlistening to it for I don't know,
like thirty years now, and Inever get tired of it. It kills.
I got to see Guns and Rosesperform it, you know, a
couple of years ago, and thatwas amazing. So that's kind of the
one that I'm always the most excitedfor about you, Scott. I was

(50:35):
tempted to go for you Know myName for the Casino Royal Chris Cornell song.
Yeah. I'm a big Soundgarden audioslave guy. So it's kind of
an easy, easy answer. Butif we're talking about the best song ever
and songs that maybe have gone beyondjust being a Bond song, I will
say we have all the time inthe world from on Amage the Secret Service,

(51:00):
because that song has gone way beyondthat film. Yeah, probably the
best song of the bunch. I'mtelling because I never knew well before i'd
watched all the films. I justassumed it was a song. I was
like, that's weird, they're usingthis song for a Bond film. But
it was a Bond song. Sothat says a lot about the song itself.
It's a great song, great,so good. I have I have

(51:24):
to be I have a spot asoft spot for License to Kill, Galla
License to Kill. So I lovethat. So I do I do like
that? Um yeah, yeah,I'm gonna go with that. I want
to be different. I'm gonna gowith that one. See, it's a
tough one for me because I meanview to a Kill is a superb song

(51:50):
the Living Daylights as well. Imean that kind of very similar eighty style,
I think. I think Billie Eilish'snew one though, is very is
very in keeping and sort of likebut also a very style. I thought
Billy I wish fun then it's toomuch whispering and mumbling into the microphone.

(52:13):
Did you hear Adele's the song?Well, but just no concerts, it's
just m still. I think forme, the music for the for the
Billy Irish one for the film thatmay never come out is for me.

(52:37):
It's just yeah, it's got avery eerie sound. But I guess that's
quite quite a Billy Ilish But yeah, I mean the one that I will
always bang on for you to Kill. I mean, terrible film, but
it's the one I always bang onspot for that film as well. But
I do have a so you thinkthat, yeah, Christopher Walker, And

(53:00):
you know it's like a six sixtyyear old bond, like sleeping with twenty
year olds. It's just a bitweird. The whole fire engine sequence,
it just goes on. It's eternal, it is. Yeah, it's a
long film. You forget how longit is. And also at the end
when when walking and his like henchmanjust gunna load of people down. Because

(53:20):
Roger Moore was disgusted with it,wasn't it. He kind of said that
he felt like it was went awayfrom what Bond was, which was meant
to be kind of like fun,fun kind of spy movie to like viciously
gunning people down. But yeah,I still enjoy it to be fair,
even if it is a bit silly. I'm a fan of the scene at

(53:40):
the racetrack where you have all them I six agents out and there's like
none of them under sixty. Yeah, the racetrack sequence as well. There
doesn't seem to be any reason forhim to be there. It has nothing
to do with the rest of theplot. It's like, oh, he's
got some you know, he's usingsome sort of chemical enhancement of the horses.

(54:00):
What has this got to do withthe rest of the film. It
got us the line I'm happiest inthe saddle. Yeah, that's what it
got. Roger Moore could always deliverthose lines, and like no one could
deliver them quite like Roger Moore.He got given some absolute corkers. I

(54:22):
think my favorite Roger moore line ishis name's Jaws. He kills people.
It's so like so on the money, and so you know, not he's
an assassin, you know, he'sa vicious murderer. No, it kills
me well hanging on top of acable coulf love it. Yeah, all
right, so that was quite interestingto learn and find out. I reckon

(54:45):
we should play the one star moviereview game. But before we do,
though, guys, where can wefind you? Yes, well, we
like on social media obviously we knowwhere to find you, but our listeners
I live on this here. Wellyou know, we alluded to it earlier,
but we are at spy Hard's spyh a r ds basically everywhere Facebook,

(55:10):
Twitter, Instagram, apparently we're onTikTok. I'm not sure why,
but you can amazing super stuff.And then obviously I guess your podcast is
on all podcast platforms, like everypodcast is, we hope, So yeah,
you hope, we all we allhope. So yeah, there's one
out there that just has like nopodcast. It just has the dollarp and

(55:30):
Joe Rogan and that's it. Umand Cole. Right, so I'm going
to bring on a YouTube sensation that'snot the word. Basically, he has
a YouTube channel, his names ofCity and Ann, and he's going to
read the rules for you today.To the people at home who may never

(55:52):
have heard this show before, we'llunderstand what the hell we're about to do.
I just need to find it.I've got a script. Here is
right gool Eatings Agent Scott and Camthe provocateur, And welcome to Why Did
They Give Them? One Star?The one star movie review Game. This

(56:13):
is the game where Paul and Ryanwill each read out a one star review
from a particular movie. Those tworeviews will contain all the information you need
for you to answer what movie theyhave picked. If you get it wrong,
we'll make you listen to Billy Eilish'sBond Song on repeat twenty four seven
every day for a year. Then, once you've hopefully answered correctly, it'll

(56:35):
be your turn to read out toone star reviews for the film you picked.
From there, the host must getit right or suffer a similar fate.
Can and by similar, assuming itmeans a song that we hate because
you liked the Billy Eilis song,Say you love that? Yeah? Okay,
Paul, are you going to gofirst? No? I thought mine

(56:59):
had. Oh, okay, Iwill go for the clues in. Yeah,
mine has the clues in you gofirst. All right, okay,
so I have to blank some ofthis, but hopefully there may be a
little bit of a clue in itfor you if you get it after the
first one. Well done, Butyou know, usually people will say,

(57:20):
oh, I don't know, canwe have another review? Just saying nudge,
nudge, wink wink. But yeah, exactly, yeah, peak beyond
the curtain right one start at ten. I've just read the reviewers name.
The reviewer's name is bad movie ripper. I'm not sure he's suggesting the best

(57:42):
nap I've ever had. This stinkburger was so boring it put me to
sleep. I actually had a prettygood nap for about fifteen to twenty minutes.
The best part was the car chase, but now everyone is doing it
and now sucks on toast. Theonly thing worse than a Blank film is
a Richard Gear film. Heaven forbidthat Blank and Richard ever team up.

(58:07):
We'd have a we'd have another targeton the Axis of Evil list. Besides
sucking wood chips, this film isboring, slow, poorly acted, and
filmed, don't waste your time.Blank's pal Ben made a much better film.
Check it out instead. Some ofAll Fears is the film that Blank
wishes he would have made. SorryYou will always be second Banana, third

(58:30):
Banana when Joho takes over. Igive this Turkey zero out of five stars.
There we go. Not a fan, not a fan. You may
have had a little bit of aclue. There was a few sort of
little tidbits, but I wouldn't blameyou if you've done have a clue.

(58:52):
Yeah, I mean I'm thinking likeRichard Gear and car chases, and I'm
like racking my brain. I rememberthere was like a lot of cars something
intersection that feels a little obscure though. Um, and then like the reference
to Jack Ryan's stuff. Um,I don't know, Scott has anything jumped
to mind for you? Well havewe? As we've discovered over let's doing

(59:16):
this podcast for most a year now. Is I'm an idiot, so this
is this is not my game.I am relying on you can. But
I will say I don't think RichardGear is in this film. I think
he's just mentioned in the in thereview. So don't get hung up on
the actors that were mentioned are adjacentto this film, don't get hung up?
Yeah that is correct. Yeah,this guy is not a fan of

(59:37):
Richard Gear almost as much as Iget the feeling. He slates a lot
of films, but manages to saythat he hates Richard Gear in every review.
It could be a Jack Nicholson filmgoing anything worse than unt is Richard
Gear, who isn't in this film, but I hate him. I think.
I think the main clue I tookout of that is that he is

(59:57):
a contemporary of the other person.Oh god, lost his name now you
said it at the end. Yeah, but you know who you mean,
and that's what matters. So let'sgo on for the second review. Then
this is written by Yo jimbo onestart out of ten, I need a

(01:00:22):
bath. What a filthy, stupidlittle movie. Blank provides a nice action
role, but the rest of thefilm is utterly pitiful. Imagine the writer
slash director somehow getting it into hishead that he could improve on Ludlam's novel.
My god, what was he thinking? This movie is so simplistic and

(01:00:43):
so dumb that I could fill myIQ getting lower and lower as I was
watching it. How could you possiblytake Ludlam's complex and intricate storylines and turn
it into a movie about a guyrunning around Paris, dodging dumb French cops
and shooting dumb French people. Boy, where was Carlos the Jackal? Where's

(01:01:04):
the intricate web of deceit? Stupid? Stupid, stupid. It's a good
thing, ludlamb is dead. Oryou might have a stroke after seeing this
thing. That's it? Yeah,okay, okay, now I think I
know where we are. Yeah.Cam looks a lot more confused than I
am, which is a surprise becauseI am the idiot here. Yeah,

(01:01:28):
it's I was getting Ronin vibes.What are you think in skye? He
said Robert Ludlam several times? Whooh yeah, Well I okay, so
yeah, there we go. Wellnow now I'm the idiot. So then
it's just a question which born filmare we talking about? That was my
problem. If it's running around Paris, I think it's either identity or supremacy.

(01:01:53):
I'll tell you what. I wantto read a line from mine that
I cut out. Okay, thebest was the car chase with the Mini
Cooper Identity. Yeah, clearly theRichard Chamberlain version though, right, well,
I don't know what that means.Trump does some superior knowledge, oh

(01:02:19):
god, as well as a BBCTV movie from the late eighties. I
think that did the borne identity withthe Chamberlain Wow, which is forgotten.
We might even cover it one day, just for forgives. It's three hours
long, so it's a commitment.Wow. Okay, that's right. If
I made time to watch the oldSnyder car, I can make time for

(01:02:39):
that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, Okay, So say it
to you fellas, Yeah, okay, Cam, do you want to go
first? To join me? Togo first? Why don't you go first?
I think I'm going to use onethat has maybe a little more hints
to it. Okay, well,I'm going to blank out most of it.
But it's entitled My Notes by feastMode. That's a hell of a

(01:03:07):
name. Worst movie ever, perfectexample of why old movies are terrible.
The music and humor was so outdated. I watched this because it was a
huge blockbuster I've never seen before,starring an actor that entertains me. After
I started it, I found outit was directed by Blank, who I'd

(01:03:30):
like in respect. But this isa stain on his career. This movie
is so absurd and horrendous in everyway. The entire premise is so stupid.
Okay, well, yeah, thereis a secondary paragraph that kind of
gives a bit more, but Ifeel like we should have cams one and

(01:03:51):
then if we need to throw thatone in, we'll do it. Sure,
Okay, good show out. Yeahbecause I'm clueless. Okay, So
no guesses whatsoever. Absolutely no claOkay, well, follow line up then,
Okay. So this is a onestar review from five zell Underscore YM.
The title is outstanding performance with fourexclamation marks, so it's outstanding.

(01:04:16):
Here's the review. This is reallyamazing movie of all time. Blank didn't
receive the Oscar for this that Ireally didn't liked. I don't know how
Oscars are selected. The movie forOscar was selected once called Chicago. I
think this movie is the worst ofall. If they kept on selecting this

(01:04:39):
kind of movies, then they haveto close the Oscars in the future.
Blank should have got Oscar for BestPicture. It shows how Blank saves her
wife and daughter from terrorists. Insteadhe traps himself in the game. The
performance is fantastic and special effects areawful. I have watched four times in

(01:04:59):
this Why don't you go four times? If you eat it? Anyways?
Blank is really hardcore director who didn'treceived Oscar for this movie. I don't
even know if they know if theylike it or not, or what the
film is. It's like they didyou like it? Did you not like

(01:05:20):
it? You think they shouldn't wantto ask her? A terrorist gets lost
in a game? No, hegets saved his wife from a terrorist,
get stuck with my daughter daughter?Okay, God, I feel like there's
so many films where someone saving theirwife and daughter from terrorists and I can't

(01:05:44):
Okay, should we added my secondparagraph just to be for that a little
bit more? Have we mentioned thisfilm before at least or today? Okay?
I'm not referenced it in any way? Okay, fine? And why
don't we see here's a thing.It's not a franchise film? Great?
Right? Okay, okay, okay, second paragraph. It starts out looking

(01:06:11):
like a regular spy movie, andthen it turns out to be his wife
and her affair and her wanting amore exciting life, so he wants to
make her a spy. Wut?I was like it, did you want
to keep going if it's funny,but I think I've got it. Um,

(01:06:32):
I was spelling. That's pretty bad. I think we should finish it
off. I was like, isthis really what this movie is about?
I could believe it, but Istill give chance. This was just so
dumb stuff that I couldn't believe,including one scene in the final action sequence
that made me start yelling OMG indisbelief. Old movies are terrible. The

(01:07:00):
one good thing I can say aboutthis film as a few of the epic
shots look surprisingly real for nineteen ninetyfour. One I think was actually filmed
in camera, which was shocking.If it was, did I mention that
has a comedy in it too?This movie is an absolute and utter joke.

(01:07:20):
One star. I didn't give itit was impressed with some things,
but still give it one star.We found some weird reviewers today. Yeah,
yeah, Command Lies. Yeah yeah, man, I'm so bad.
Yeah, I love that. Theone guy who the review that I read,

(01:07:43):
he was so outraged that Chicago onebest picture, and that one best
picture like almost a decade after TrueLies was released. Yeah, that's why
I was so confused. Maybe itwas that same Richard Gahayter. Yeah,
oh yeah, like True Lies lasttwo. I mean, Truetes was nominated
for Osters than effects stuff, buthad it been nominated, it would have
lost to Forrest Gump, so heshould be a Forrest Gump. God.

(01:08:09):
I love True Lies. It's sucha forgotten film. It feels like no
one talks about it anymore. There'sno blue ray release nothing. Yeah.
Nice, that's even more annoying.I'd still would command they tried to get
a TV In fact, I thinkit is still in the works. They

(01:08:30):
were working forever on a TV adaptation. Looks like I think they're moving on
it now, so there maybe atrue life show. I feel like it's
Annie as much as you know,as much as you know Tom Arnold is
a bit of a horrible human beingin real life, Like they're kind of
you know, they're bouncing off eachother, kind of what makes that film
so good. But wow, therewe go, we go. We got

(01:08:53):
there, We got we got there. Thank you so much for coming on
the show. Um one more time. What you're cold? Well, we
are spy Haarts podcasts. You canfind us basically everywhere, and you can
find us at Spyhards as spy hA R. Ds on Facebook, Twitter,
and Instagram and apparently TikTok. Yeah, they are the spies that ironically

(01:09:14):
can be found very easily. Wecan't recommend spihars podcast enough. Do check
them out, especially if you loveyour your spy movies or movies in general.
This podcast should be on your list. And one day let's all chat
together again, gents and talk aboutStar Trek, because I'm sure we can
have conversations about that as well.Exactly. In the meantime we go,

(01:09:39):
yeah, boldly go yeah absolutely,in the meantime. Until then, all
the best, Yes, thank youfor having us, Yes, thank you
very much. Agents Scott and Camthe provocator from spy Hards podcasts. Check
them out on Apple, Spotify,any app you get your podcasts from.

(01:10:01):
Yeah, exactly, that's what.That's what's where you find us, where
you find us, you'll find themexactly. I shouldn't know you can find
them through us, because there willbe on our show notes. Yeah,
this is true, so easy.But wait wait until we're done, rude.
Yeah, because now it's time foryour you fuck Now it's time for

(01:10:26):
you guys at home to play athome. Yeah, funny, So that's
allow myself to introduce myself was oneof those moments. Yeah, it was
it. Okay, So last weekthe film was Battle Rush Hour Is.

(01:10:57):
Despite Brett Ratner being a a borringpiece of shit, I still enjoy one
and two. I still think theI think they're a lot of fun,
and mainly because of Jackie Chan andChris Tucker. But we should have seen
it. We should have seen itcoming when he rushed our too. Jackie
Chan is literally perving on a womanacross the street going yes, and we

(01:11:25):
we we all expected to laugh.Yeah, when Brett Rattler is just like,
that's probably just one of his fantasies. He was in a room directing
there. Yeah, okay, she'snow lending over. Now say the line,
what is that noise? Get thenoise? Nothing? Nothing? I

(01:11:46):
said nothing. What do you talkabout? Oh that's a different film,
The god Man anyway. Who won? Well, actually she's won before,

(01:12:13):
and she's come second before, butshe's won again. It's Lindsay, Lou.
She answered very quickly and therefore camevery very firstly. So well done
to you. Well done, Lindsay. You have proved yourself and a person
of knowledge. I can't talk toolate. It's too late for you.

(01:12:35):
It's too late in the evening.Yeah, who came second? Well,
he was mentioned on the last episode, so I guess that meant he felt
like he had to answer, Hefelt motivated, We motivated him. He
is, of course our most recentActually that might not be true, but
the time this comes out, Imean a hobeyan true. But currently our

(01:12:57):
most recent Patreon patre is Jonathan Woodhouse. He came second. Well done to
Jonathan, well done. You don'tget it well done? Now you get
a congratulatory nod. And here itis all right a little bit. Um,

(01:13:18):
we are so right now it's ontothis week's If you want to play
at home, this is what youdo. If you know the film,
contact us via Twitter at cold Callers, contact Dmason, Instagram at cold Callers
under slash comedy, Typing Facebook ifyou're going Facebook typing Cold Callers. If

(01:13:38):
you want to email us, justcold Callers Comedy at gmail dot com.
Um. If you that's it,isn't it? You can message us through
pat you know, through Patron.If you're on you can go on on
my Space. But I think itmay have been deactivated now, yes,
it has, thankfully high five accountever had one? We never had one.

(01:14:00):
Do we have Bibo? If wedidn't have Bibo? If you find
us on Tinder, which you shouldn'tbe, if you do, swipe right,
give us one hot collers here wecome. Okay, do that.
If we just get a stick ourselvesfrom we should we should see we should

(01:14:23):
as an experiment, a social experiment. Yeah yeah, alright, apart there's
what we're doing. Well yeah,yeah, um an experiment like where they
go, they go, which oneare you? Run on the right or
run on the left, And they'llgo I'll say me every time and see
how many times they go. Ohright, we'll do a tally. This

(01:14:53):
caller, yeah, this gold caller. Okay, right, So so I
can't say the name of the Ican't see because a lot of films that
come, I think have that title. I think I think it might be
obvious. Are you sure I know? All right? Because it's so bad?

(01:15:18):
Okay, one start at ten?This is reviewed by I hate every
movie I see. I mean already, if your reviewer name is I hate
every movie I see? Is notgonna like it is? He I'm not
a road to shit. There wego. I can't believe that I thought

(01:15:38):
this would be good. This movieis awful. This film is pathetic.
Oh where this film is pathetic.Attempts at trying to make you emotionally aware
of the characters makes this movie suck. I mean all films do that.
Whatever. Plus, this movie hasno real storyline. It does, It's
just some movie that lasts for toolong. I would highly recommend see anything

(01:16:00):
besides this unbelievably stupid. I couldhave pulled a better movie out of my
ass. What would he recommend though, if he hates every movie he sees.
Yeah, I don't think any makessense. God's sake, I know.
Anyway, What's what's yours? Parlow? Mine is written by it.
I am bluzz clueby one star Warscharacter probably we will be and he nipple.

(01:16:29):
I'm blood Glooby one start out often. Now I've got to say
it. Road to Boredom. Ikept waiting for good acting. I never
saw it. I kept waiting foraction, I never saw it. I
kept waiting for an interesting plot,twist and storyline. I never saw them.

(01:16:50):
Blank makes a stupid villain, andI perceive him as a villain villain
in this movie. But Paul Newmanlooks like a stupid and twitchy old man.
Notice the stupid eye twitch he alwaysgives under strain. Blank is not
tough enough or shrewd enough to pulloff a hit man. He just can't.
Daniel Craig looks like a pale zombie. How did he ever get to

(01:17:13):
be double O seven? The boyor Blank's son in this cannot act worth
a dime. He has that samestiff glare throughout the whole picture, albeit
the acting and the story was inferior. I could never get myself to feel
any emotion or empathy toward the characters. All we see is Blank murdering some
anonymous person and the boy going crying, Pa, Pa harder one this week.

(01:17:43):
Yeah, I think it's quite obvious, especially if you haven't seen it.
It's hard if you have it.If you haven't seen it, it's
not obvious at all. But yeah, but there we go. So yeah,
if you think you know it,do what we told you to do.
Yeah, you've got two weeks toanswer, so yeah, keep watching
those films. Yeah, but it'sbeen a pleasure as always. If you
don't have time to help us outby going on Patron or listening to our

(01:18:06):
music or you know, downloading orwhatever. Make sure you rate, review
and subscribe, correct and Paul tellthem, tell them where they can go.
If they don't do that, goto hell nor the way. What
do you mean, I don't know. Well, listen, obviously this is

(01:18:30):
our first episode our back doing it, you know, fortnightly. So if
you're not happy with the content,that's just what happens when you're busy,
mate. So yeah, if youwere, if you guys were to support
us more and spread the word more, and then we could do this.
This was financially beneficial, then wewouldn't have to work. We just do
this. We'd probably do two episodesa week. I mean quality, quality

(01:18:55):
would probably dip a bit, butyeah yeah, quality eno quantity is what
I've always said. Yeah, yeahright, so yeah, all right,
I'm off to enjoy the rest ofmy birthday. So you ain't got long
You better go to bed since you'vegot work in the morning. Yeah,
because I've got another day off,might go for another massage. So yeah,

(01:19:19):
stop putting your putting thumb in yourars and on that rate review shops. Grab h