Shadow & Bone

Episode 65
Shadow & Bone

This episode is sponsored by Brüush - https://bit.ly/3xe5g7S

Download our NEW SINGLE ‘Game Over’: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/coldcallerscomedy/game-over

We discuss the sad news that we'll be reducing show frequency to fortnightly. It's all become a bit too much of an undertaking, but we'll endeavour to keep bringing you top quality content.
We also talk about how awesome it's going to be when we grow old and are allowed to get away with everything... because we'll be sweet, old men!

Ryan’s 'Highlight of the Week' is a little conceited. Then I attempt to make Ryan take all the word knowledge I spray at him and lap it up like a good boy in “Suck on my Big Fat Dictionary”.

In Hardy’s Hardest Hats, Tom Hardy & Earth faces an apocalyptic future if he & Bane aren’t able to rewrite the mess they’ve already made throughout history.

Actor & ‘Shadow & Bone’ Star, Gareth Turkington is our guest in today’s show where we chat about his career in acting, how it started and his time working on the high trending show “Shadow & Bone on Netflix. Oh and we also nailed a game of ‘Why Did They Give Them 1 Star!?’

Here’s the links for Gareth:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gareth.turkington
Twitter - https://www.twitter.com/G_Turkington

Show Promo this week was from the What Does SMH Mean? A Movie Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/what-does-smh-mean-a-movie-podcast/id1551908244

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All the best & Don't Forget The Comedy!
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RyPaul

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
So Ryan, Yeah, I'm gonnachange. I think we need a rebrand
and goodbye Coal Callers, say helloto Hot Callers. Um, okay,
why why hot callers? Because I'mreally hot? Oh so why and me

(00:20):
as well? Sure? Sure hHello and welcome to the Cold Callers comedy

(01:02):
podcast in association with the pod BreadNetwork and Quite the Thing Media Network.
I'm Paul Rich and my name isRyan Brannon. Every episode, me and
Paul get together for a catch upand we invite you to let us know
if you missed us, because weweren't about last week. Yeah we weren't,
aren't We weren't available. Yeah wecouldn't. There was this work commitments

(01:25):
meant we couldn't get the editing done. And there's no way we are giving
you a non edited podcast because thatit would be like two three hours of
us messing up. Really, Iknow that there's some of you out there
that we're hoping we wouldn't come back, But we're back. We returned against

(01:47):
the odds. But we do havesome some some sad news. Sad sad.
It's not sad news, to befair, it's just news. Yeah,
it's this no longer going to bea weekly podcast. We're just gonna
be anymore. It's going to bea bye bye weekly by monthly, well
bye week weirdly means twice a weekand months every two All right, listen

(02:14):
fortnitely fortnightly, yeah, bately,Yeah exactly. Um, because we're just
we're just too busy, just toobusy. It was easier during lockdown,
obviously. I mean, it's justthe same thing. Yeah, I mean
I was depressed. I was,you know, I was having dark thoughts

(02:35):
sometimes, you know, I'd lookout the window and just cry. But
we did get to do the podcaston the RAG every single week and it
wasn't an issue. It wasn't anissue. Wow, but he didn't.
It was a bit of an issuefor me still because I had to do
the editing. But I had moretime. Well yeah, yeah, you
had more time. That's what Imean. There was more time, more
time to do these things. Andthat's the thing, like we wish we

(02:58):
were getting paid enough paid. Wewish this was like monetize enough. We're
getting enough downloads where we're getting enoughad money to just go right sack the
other jobs off. This is allwe need to do now. But you
know, we can't because none ofyou are listening or helping. I'm joking.
I'm joking. The thing is thatyou're not doing you're not doing your

(03:21):
part. Some of you are.You know who you are. Pay it
forwards, That's all I'm saying.Some of them are, some of them
are. But you know we wecan probably do better of anything. The
thing is like it just becomes whenwhen you do the podcast and it's taken
over your life and you're not gettingthe reward for it, and it just

(03:43):
becomes it becomes more of a jobas opposed to something you enjoy, and
you just begin to resent it,which I have been so I resent doing
this now. So it's to lookat each other for that little window on
the on the on the computer monitoris so and this is the only way
I get to see you, andI haven't seen you in well over a

(04:03):
year now in the flesh, andlet's be honest, it is a lot
better, a lot better, No, I mean you look a lot better
in the flesh, all right,I see, Yeah, I didn't like
I misstook given um. No,Yes, seeing each other in the flesh
is a lot better, m youknow. And soon I'm going to be
fully vaccinated, so you can spitin my mouth. You can step back

(04:25):
to normal then, exactly exactly backthe other days when I knock on the
door and you'd be like, heybuddy, yeah, yeah, So let's
This is the part of the reasonwe're going down back to fortnightly. It's
just become a little bit too muchbecause you know how much we put into
these shows, you know, withthe sketches or the sound effects and like

(04:47):
the jingles, it just becomes abit much, and we need to sort
of some time for ourselves sometimes aswell. Exactly the only time to I
went, don't want the only timeto be with my partner be her resenting
me. Yeah, as I didthe podcast, but no, let's have
that is a disappointment to some ofyou or many of you. We do

(05:10):
apologize, but we've got to lookafter ourselves as well. And you know
what you can do. You couldno, no, no, I wasn't
gonna say anything. Now you knowwhat you can do. But you know,
you know what you can do ifyou know, if you do enjoy
the podcast. I mean, wehave a back catalog now of like sixty
odd episodes, so you know,if you're enjoying it just going back listen

(05:32):
to some old ones. Yeah,you might not have heard them before,
especially if you're quite new. Apparentlywater Melon Sugar is really good. Um.
Yeah, it's consistently the second mostdownloaded episode every week, ahead of
the newest one. Yeah. Butyeah, but let us know your thoughts
about us doing it fortnightly. Um, if you're sad, if you're happy,

(05:56):
if you don't care, let usknow and happy and you know it,
clap your hands exactly. You know. Maybe if you know, you
can email us some questions or tweetus something. We'll read some stuff out,
read some message some of your messagesout on the next episode. Fun,
won't that'd be fun. We'll doit in different you know, or
Tom Hardy can read it. We'llget him to do it. Yeah,
what yactly? You get him therenow if he's available, you know,

(06:20):
yeah, if you want to,if you want to do it, I
mean, if Tom, if TomHardy's available, all right, Yeah,
I don't know. I don't knowif he'll want to turn up. He
might. He might. He's testinga hat wherever he is. Um.
Yeah, we'll find out later on. We'll find out later on. We've
got quite a good guest on it. We have a great guest on.

(06:41):
I don't know if you've managed towatch the Netflix series Shadow and Bone,
but this dude's in it. Yes, Gareth, I did that. No,
yeah, yeah, Gareth Turkington ishis name, and he's an actor
because he's in the show. Heplays a characterical Felix. Yes, it
Felix. I'm trying to for saying. I was going to say Filch and

(07:03):
I was like, then that's theCaretaker from Harry Potter. And then I
was like, is it Felch,No, that's that's someone else. Is
it Felicio Istod? Oh god,I forgot about that color Lingus and Filatio

(07:25):
the Italian Explorers. Oh yeah,that's an old episode. But yeah,
no, so yeah, look forwardto that little interview later on. Yes,
she recorded that a while back,but we were busy, very exciting.
Have you watched it yet, Paul, I haven't had the chance,
mate. I've been editing. Yeah, always editing. It's literally I'm surprised

(07:50):
it only glasses yet it's always somethingpodcast related. I'm sick of it.
Oh, I'll tell you what though. Yeah, just I love how sometimes
in the podcast I don't sort ofsay what I want, and today I
have been, which is great.But I feel like as you get older,

(08:13):
you do get I feel like youget you feel like you're more entitled
to say whatever the fuck you likewithout having consequences. Because you're old,
no one can really have a goyeah yeah, yeah, no, this
is true. Whilst I don't wantto get old or be old and kind,
that is one of the things I'mlooking forward to is having that power.
Because I was in Furniture Village soundold already. I was in furniture

(08:37):
village on Monday Bank Holiday Monday herein the UK, and I was looking
for a sofa because I can't putup with being in pain sitting on the
current one anymore. And I justhappened to bump into someone that I knew
I hadn't seen an over a year, much like yourself, and we're just
chatting, and you know, it'squite a big sort of scent area,

(09:01):
but we were quite near a couchand so I didn't I couldn't see what
was behind me, and we werechatting there for a while, and then
all of a sudden, a littlevoice was like, excuse me, if
you're not going to buy this sofa? Could you move over there? And
I was like, I'm not havingto please. I was like, yeah,
sorry, I didn't see you.I didn't see you there, and
then she was like, oh yeah, I'm so skinny. I was you

(09:22):
couldn't see me by the pillar andI was like sure right, Well,
like okay, you're trying to nowdiffuse it by saying something thought was funny.
But my point is why what shehad to do with go excuse me?
Can we just test this sofa please, so that we can sit on
it and give it a test asopposed to just if you're not going,
if you're not as you're buying it, can you fuck off over there?

(09:43):
Yea? And I just thought,why do you need to be so passive
aggressive? Because you did it?She did it with a smile, and
I was like, that's it's aggressive. You can smile all you like you're
being you're being passive. But yeah, I can't wait to be like that
to get away with it. Youmean, yeah, you do it anyway.
True, But it is an oldperson thing though, isn't it to

(10:05):
sort of to sort of like yeah, just to say things where you kind
of like fucking hell, Like Ican't believe you know, oh God,
look at the state of a Lookat that fat ass, like Grandma,
I can't say that. Look atwhat she's putting away. Yeah, exactly.

(10:26):
My grandpa was was I loved Iloved him to bits. But like
when he was ripe old age andhe was on it, like he was
on cruises sometimes and he needed theaid of a wheelchair, but he'd have
a walking stick as well, sohe'd be pushed to get because it's unsteady
on a ship, and he wouldjust be like, if someone's in the
way, he'd get a stick andto sort of move into one side out

(10:48):
of the way of the wheelchair.He had no he had no patience,
Like he wouldn't be able to say, excuse me, he was this is
quicker, yeah, move, can'twait. So you're looking forward to those
days, those days when Lana ispushing around a wheelchair and you'll go,

(11:09):
move your fat ass out of theway, nerd on American, as I'm
older, out of the way,your stupid care Such a that's such an
English that's such an English thing,is it. I haven't heard that saying
in a while, super stupid care? Well, no, yeah, I

(11:30):
don't know why to regress into oldietalk, but I probably have more modern
lingo, well older lingo that Iuse now, like get out of the
way, you fuck you fuck.I do want a voice like that.
It's got to be Gandel otherwise I'llbe very disappointed. I mean, when

(11:52):
you look old. Thing is,when you look older, you'll still probably
be like hello, you know,but you could just put the voice on.
I will no one, you know, I you know, I'm pretty
the same Charles. Don't get inmy way, you fuck? Oh darn

(12:16):
well, who could suck my duck? Grandpass my drink, Grandpa? Sorry?
Dad? What's your highlight of aweek? Mate? Yeah? Hit

(12:37):
it highlights highlight of the weaker highlight. I love the week. Highlights highlight

(12:58):
of the week. Looking at myselfin the mirror, you know, I
was looking at myself and I wasthinking, you're a fucking adonist. Gorgeous

(13:24):
wig. That was modest, ifanything, it was humble. Yeah,
also true. So you're welcome,thank you. All right, listen,
buddy, I know you've you recentlymoved the bed out of that room that

(13:45):
you used to record, so there'splenty of space for you to get on
all fours fours Jesus, Well,I figured your knees might hurt a bit,
so just to leave the pressure,get on the hands as well.
Look up with me, eager toreally take the really need to say so,
like I have a firm structure onthe floor because of the force.

(14:05):
Is that what you're saying? No, no, no, no, no
no, just look it up.Look up at me, eager to receive
all that juicy knowledge. Year.Oh yeah, baby, I got so
much knowledge for you. Let mescream my words into your mouth. Empty

(14:33):
my ol cab your balls, letme thieve saurus your brains out. Oh,
let me see lap down my twelveins dictionary. Suck my big fat

(14:56):
dictionary. Hello, and welcome tosuck on my big fat dictionary with me,
Paul Rich and the inept Ryan BrannanJesus Christ. Why inept? Why
is because I can't think of anyother word. And it always just I
always, but it's just every week. It's just an insult. I don't

(15:18):
understand until you get it right again. But I have got it right in
the past. You still would bethe next week. Fun All right,
come on in, let's let's behaving you. So what is what is
this big word that you wish toinsert. No, it's not a big
it's not a big word this time. Actually, yeah, it's actually quite
a short word, rare word.Well, that could make it a lot

(15:41):
harder. It's a micro word.But you know, it's like any other
word. It does the job.Okay, If it's not the size of
the word, it's the sentence youuse exactly. That's what I was looking

(16:03):
for, all right. If Iwas to say the word choir, what
quire? And why not the singingquire? This is how you This is
how it's spelt qu i r echoir um? What would I mean?

(16:25):
I mean, I think it's likeI guess it's like like inquire. That's
what I think. Like when youinquire, basically you're asking about a certain
thing. I would like a shortenedversion of the word, not even a
shortened version of version of the word. But maybe it's like you. You
you inquire, but then you quirefor knowledge. That's my guess. It's

(16:53):
a good guess. It's a wrongguess, well of course it is.
But yeah, all right, canso get ready you put a bib on.
This is going to be messy.Oh Jesus A bib. A choir
is essentially four sheets of paper orparchment folded to form eight leaves, as

(17:15):
in medieval manuscripts. Just paper,mate, it's just paper. Yeah.
There was no no way in hellI was never going to get I was
never going to get that. Yeah, so wittness entence. My package contains
two choirs of tracing paper. Youknow that, right? Okay, but

(17:40):
I have another package for you,God, hang on, get it out.
Oh no, here's a podcast promookay, coming soon? What does

(18:15):
SAMH Mean? A movie podcast?With Stephen Purdon, Jack Shaw and Colin
McMillan. Get your eyes blasts readyand grab some popcorn. Yes, that

(18:41):
was the podcast trailer for what doesSMH Mean? A movie podcast? And
if you recognize the voice in thattrailer, yes, you're right. That
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of the same podcast network called Quitethe Thing Media. It's podcasting without constraints,
trying to do something different to allthe other networks. It's an up

(19:02):
and coming network and we're so happyand proud to be a part of them.
And these are the same lads thatfounded Quite the Thing Media Network,
who already have a pod called WrongTerm Memory. And because we're all friends,
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(19:22):
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(19:45):
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show notes and enter the code podfifteen at checkout to get your exclusive discount
and upgrade your oral care routine.I don't know about you, but I
haven't heard from Tom in a whileabout him maybe still I don't know,

(20:07):
I mean, he's still maybe stillin the in the nineteen thirties, But
then, how how is he gettingthe episodes to us? I don't pigeon
that explains the pigeon with the beardand that called us that called us Fox.
There's your who's your recording? YourFox? The Eagles are coming to

(20:38):
be fair. I mean, youknow, it could it could have been
just doing it back to the futurestyle. Yeah, I mean it could
be just been making out. Youjust don't take everything he said as the
Prince of Salt. Yeah, welllet's find out where he is now.
Yeah, hit the jingle. Imean I'll do it because you don't have
the I'm hitting the jingle. Howhard is y'all? How hard? How

(21:04):
hard is y'all? How hard?How hard is arties? Oh? What
does your fucking hat? Mate?Hello, and welcome to another episode of
Artis Artist Bats, the show aboutwhich member of the corrupt A family is

(21:27):
the toughest. I've already fun removedyou. This show is about hats,
not bats. Please don't talk aboutthat. It was a joke, mate,
don't get your knackers in a twist. As always, I'm your host
Tom Arty from Peaky White War MissAmerican Blind does Now. Last week you

(21:48):
may remember that me and Bubbles here. Bubbles, Yeah, Bubbles, my
chunky monkey baby board, my littledustbin lid, first one out of my
shorn off cock gun, my kid, my son My Baine, you're calling
me Bane again, then, whywouldn't I it's a fucking name, mate.
I thought you named the dog banDog the won't you stole from Doug

(22:11):
Brown? How that thing? Fuckknows what I did with him? Let
him off the leads somewhere in NateAlton. He was gum. I hope
he's okay, Dad, I imaginewhoa. I'm just being honest, sorry,
son, I'm sure he's fine livingit up in the field somewhere with
a lovely bitch. She's gagging forit twenty four to seven. And then

(22:32):
his big powers and food they canscarf down whenever he wants, all his
favorites like Victoria sponge Cake and MonsterMuns and where the Originals And there's a
big fountain that you couldn't switch towhatever drink you like, like banana milkshake
or Bailey's or a tropical lilt orum Bongo the lucky little bastard dog.

(22:52):
I bet he's right there now livingit up. The prick Dad, What
are you talking about? Maybe goback to explaining what's going on now?
Yeah? Sorry, So anyway,me and Bain are still in nineteen thirty
eight, after our adventure to recoverthe Holy Heart of Christ, which bain
like the big fucking eight thirty yearsdropped. You told me to let it

(23:14):
gone interrupt me anyway, we fuckedoff and decided it was time to go
home. So after retrieving our timetraveling DeLorean, we managed to get it
fixed and we were good to goagain. Turns out you need to put
petrol in cars, oh fucking newa. So now we are making our
way back to the present. Wehave a clear straight road ahead of us.

(23:34):
Time circuits on flux capacity fluxing destinationtenth of May twenty twenty one.
Now let's them rap the baby backtime. If the fine we've made it,

(24:12):
We're back. It's good to behome. Boy. Can't wait to
put my feet up in front ofa TV that isn't a radio and watch
something with Harrison Ford in it.I don't know why, I've just got
hankering for it. Wait, somethingisn't right. Where where are we?

(24:37):
Everything is destroyed like he was ina war zone. The smell of death
and despair lingers this. This isa place where all hope is lost.
How did we get to Blackpool?I don't think this is Blackpool, Dad,
I think this is London. Ithink this is because we changed something

(24:59):
in the past. Oh, polosare saying good, it's because you killed
Hitler. That's what it is me. You're the one who kicked Gobbles in
the testicles only to make the songmakes sense. Hitler has only got one
ball. The other is in theAlbert whole Himmler. He's very simpler and
poured Goballs. There's no balls atall. I made it right, I

(25:22):
made it true. I made itmake sense, mate. If anything,
I corrected history. Fuck, ohshit through what do we do now?
I don't know what you reckon?Boot is open sea gave me some bad
dates and I need emodium seen usand I don't seat yourself. Don if

(25:45):
I dude, they're just skeletons.Must all right? Last week robot,
all right, pref mate, we'recoming preece in it. Pretty bitty bitty
wants something subject acquired germination in progress. That doesn't sound Johnny five is alive

(26:07):
by nan Nanu. I wait usmore, f now get to cover to
Assima's lords mean nothing to you,you metal pricks hicks? What happened?

(26:29):
Answer? Don't shoot me? Ialready fucked this shirt in the last episode.
Are you members of the resistance?We had the same travelers. Yeah,
we're leaped from time to time,putting things right, hoping each time
the next leap we'll be the leaphome time Travelers, you might be able
to help us. We need youto meet our leader, John Connor,

(26:55):
John Karna, the Prince of Thaieves. That's Kevin Costner on the footloose Guy.
Come with us. We need toget the safety before the terminators return.
Terminators next time on Horty's Hardest Hearts. It seems you too, maybe

(27:19):
the only hope of stopping Judgment Day. I will take the Delorian back to
nineteen thirty eight to correct the mistakesremade. If that doesn't work, Tom,
you need to travel the nineteen ninetytwo to make sure I'm not assassinated
by the terminator or sent to killme when I was a boy. You
can't expect me to go alone.You won't be alone. We're sending you

(27:44):
with help. Oh come with meif you want to live. Oh boy,
you're gonna put on pants all befucking back my hoti to be continued.

(28:06):
Mate. Everyone has a point ofview. Everyone likes a film review
these a movie so wide they givethem one star? Bech yes, is

(28:27):
that time again? For why didthey give them one star? The one
star movie review? Game show gamebecause we play it in show, because
it's on our podcast. We thoughtof it first. So if you find
out someone else is doing it,do let us know. And we're going
to send around the bailiffs and takeeverything from them because us no they something,

(28:51):
we'll get dirt on them. Yeah, hi hi Pi first think that
that, and that we'll run themout of this country how much we love
the game, unless they're in anothercountry already, and we'll run them out
of that one just because we becausethey owe us anyway, gosh it anyway.
As always in this segment, wehave a guest on and more often
than not they do tend to besome than someone that we know a friend,

(29:15):
but more importantly they're interesting and andwe definitely have someone interesting. So
I was going to try to makea joke there like so we haven't.
Today We have got someone very interestingtoday. He is an actor and you
may have seen him in the brandnew series that's hitting Netflix recently, Shadow
and Bone. His name is GarethTuckington Hell Hallo, Hello, welcome,

(29:41):
Thank you so much for coming on. Gareth, well, thank you for
having me on. It's all veryexciting. It's an absolute pleasure. It's
just, you know, we're all, we're all, we're all pleasuring each
other equally communist pleasuring pleasure. It'scrazy again, me and Gareth we actually
worked together. It's twenty eighteen eighteen, wasn't it. So yeah, in

(30:06):
in a fucking dreadful show that gotswear away. We won't say, we
won't say the name of the showbecause there is still illegal legal battle going
on with it, but one thatwe're not delivered shoes there. Yeah,
let's just say that. And yeah, things went on in the background.

(30:27):
But you know, this past,it's the past. But the bonus I
took it from it was that Idid get get geat, I did get
to meet Gareth, who is exceptionallypleasurable, very nice man. So I
have to say, like, yeah, I mean it was an absolute Like
I say, it was a clusterfuckof a production, but there were some
top top folks we all managed tomeet there. Yeah, you know,

(30:51):
it really is really was a silverlining. Um, you've been how long
would you say you've been an actorout Gareth, how when did you get
into That's a very good question.I mean ale I graduated the gazillion years
ago, back in two thousand andseven. But yeah, exactly, he
said, he's beat, he's aswe're two thousand and eight, even after

(31:12):
genuine I'm old enough to have actuallysent off actual headsots in the poster with
a second. No, you're right, yeah, I remember doings. Can
I have a job? Please seewhat happened? I got and I got
one back. I got one backfolded in half to fin a smaller envelope.
Was like, well I can't usethat now cheers actually a thing like

(31:33):
keep them send it back in ourlike folded. Yeah, but there used
to be like people who made theentire living from like you know, like
reprose headshot, rebrose that you knowthey would charge you silly amounts of money
to give your photographs of yourself?What are they themselves? Good point?
I feel like, yeah, wheneveryou need a physical one now that you

(31:53):
just go to like snap exactly onepoint fifty do they do it? I
didn't even know that he can getat ten by it there. But I
also remember like when they were blackand white and then everything moved to color
and it's like, oh, that'sawful, blah blah blah blah, and
now that's entirely standard. Anyway,basically too long didn't read I'm old,

(32:14):
um, but I yeah, soI graduated in two thousand and seven.
But in terms of actually like thetaking the business part of show business seriously,
it was realistic sort of twenty seventeen, twenty eighteen when I really started
to go, do you know whatI really need to start pushing at this?
Yeah, and things have slowly startedto build up and all that,
and then twenty twenty happened. Lol. Yeah, yeah, as I'm sure

(32:37):
you all know very very well.Yeah, did you manage to I mean,
obviously we'll talk about Shadow and Bonein a bit. Was that was
that? Did you film that beforetwenty twenty, before Lockdown started? Or
I actually my first day of filmingwas the what was I was? I
flew in the eighth of January andokay, I was out there for six

(32:58):
weeks shoot in the final three episodesand we wrapped. My final day shooting
was the twenty first of February.But the full full of rap of the
entire Productions the twenty eighth February,so we literally were like the last at
the door before everything got shot byI remember sitting in my hotel room and
it was shot like Hungry, whichwas I mean, it was just incredible
bit Ofpest is the nicest city inthe wide world. And I remember like

(33:20):
reading on like BBC News It's like, oh, look at that, there's
a case of COVID in the UK. Isn't that fun? You know,
is that early in January? Yeah, you know, I know, quite
crazy. It's I mean, it'sso lucky that they managed to get it.
Sounds like they managed to get itall done before lockdown really came into
effect, because I mean that series, like I pretty much bine watched it

(33:43):
in a couple of days. Thatseries really is kind of like dirty,
nitty gritty kind of like Soldiers andthe Trenches kind of aspect of everyone together,
which would have been so hard tofilm. It would have really changed
the dynamic of it all if theyhad to do it with COVID restrictions and
stuff like that. Absolutely, andthey spared no expense in terms of like

(34:04):
the number of people involved, likedrunk and Netflix money, you you know,
so it's just make it rain.Um and so, like you know,
in terms of asset, the numberof supporting actors, we had just
a number of cast. Like onthe cast list when you do like the
breakdown, every cast and every actor'snamed or every character is numbered from Wander,
I think the final numbers always likesix hundred and sixty or something Je

(34:25):
suscribed and that's actual named cast members. Like let a little just essays in
the background being soldiers. They weretalking. Yeah, it was. It
kind of felt like Netflix were tryingto go for their own version of Game
of Thrones. Yeah, like becauseI know The Witch, it was kind
of what they were, you know, was the one they were trying to
go for before that. I feellike The Witch is kind of very different.

(34:46):
It's kind of scope, whereas it'svery much, very sort of aimed
towards a certain set of characters,whereas this feels like a grander kind of
world. Yeah. Absolutely, theywere really trying to build, trying to
build like the whole it's called theGrecia Verse, is what is normal?
Yeah, Leebardugo wrote the books andgenuinely the books are fantastic. Like,

(35:08):
um, when I first auditioned forit. I didn't know them because they're
hy A young adult novels, andI thought, okay, well let's let's
have a look. And I firstthing did it first, you know,
looked on Wikipedia and it kind ofdescribed You're like, okay, let's see
what this is. Like, thissounds a bit crenjy, But then one
of the books genuinely hooked and yeah, like there's there's now there are three

(35:28):
in the Shadow and Bone series,there's two in the Six of Crows series,
and now there's two in the Kingof Scars series that are all set
in the same universe. So there'sso much lower for the showrunner Eric to
build from play with. Yeah,amazing, and it's it's just really enjoyable,
like sort of like seeing that worldcome together because they combined, didn't
they for this? They combined Shadowof Bone and Six of Crows. That's

(35:50):
right, They kind they kind ofmess them together, which works really well
because I think the Crows storyline isreally kind of fun heist, yeah kind
of thing, and which is reallyreally enjoyable. Is your character in the
books, No No. I Iwas kind of brought in as just a
bit of an aarder well that neededto come in and be sort of evil
on screen. Can do evil,will will act basically you know, will

(36:12):
grim Us for food. That's whyI am so Yeah. My my carter
is called Feliques and he for thosewho sort of know the series, he's
a heartrender, which for those whodon't know the series, it's um a
magical order of people who are knownas Grecia, and they can be broadly
separated into three types of magic.They are magic who can control the elements,

(36:34):
magic who can control sort of materialstuff like you know, metals or
woods and whatnot. And then thereare there's a magic who can control people
like heartbeats and whatnot. And somy carter is known as a heartrender,
who is basically someone who can stopsomeone's heart from one hundred paces, can
you know, freeze the blood intheir veins, stop them breathing. It's
that sort of thing. So it'sa real crack tree, super scary sort

(36:57):
of. Yeah. You guys werekind of in the Red weren't you,
with the kind of the Russian cossackhats and stuff like that. Yeah,
so so much fun, bloody hot, but really fun. Yeah. Yeah,
was the heart was it even whereyou were well, I mean yeah,
so like it's one of those thingsthat I mean, we were in
Hungary in the winter, so asa rule it was freezing. Um like
the snow scene, the stag scenewithout gun in the spoilers, but for

(37:20):
those who have seen at the stagscene, that was shot in an abandoned
well, not in a banner,but a disused steel mill that they dressed
to look like sort of the tundra. It was minus six in there,
so I was very very grateful ofthe of the cafter then. But then
there's other scenes like doing the fightscene for Instaff, this big fight with
one of the crews, I'm fightingin the kaft. Just by the end

(37:42):
of it, I'm I was justa puddle on the floor. I saw.
I saw on your Instagram actually thatyou put up the rehearsal footage of
that fight. And it was reallycool, man, really cool. We've
had quite a few combat trained sortof like stunt people. Oh yeah on
the podcast before. Um, whathave you got a background in it at

(38:04):
all? Because I mean you lookgood doing it, thanks man, thank
you. So I did I didstage combat at drama school, um,
you know, and I think Igot to level three unarmed and Rapier and
Dagger. To be fair, I'veI've never wanted she's Rapier and Dagger professional
unarmed bread Um yeah, yeah,so I had sort of a basic running
but I wouldn't never say I wasan expert in it. But I have
to say a massive shout out tothe Stump team on Shadow and Moone.

(38:28):
They were so good at getting acrossone they wanted to get across Um and
the choreography, just the whole thing. It was so enjoyable. Um and
Amita who plays an Ash, itwas incredible. She worked so hard,
like she got into such good shapedoing it and all that. She trained
so crazy hard and by the endof it she was an absolutely lethal weapon.
Well I kind of guess she kindof had to be, didn't she

(38:50):
because her character is very much likeI mean, I'm Paul. You haven't
seen it? Yeah, no,I do watch it, but because it
is really it's a really fun It'sa bit confusing first because it is kind
of like Game of Thrones, likewhat is going on? And I didn't
know what was happen. I watchedI watched away episode not a clue.

(39:15):
Ryan, I mean just accessible forall rat Ron. You ever going to
put a fucking shirt on tonight?You know, I am loving the white
beater with the long hair, breakGuns podcast. It's the corn air.
Look, that's what I'm gonna gofor at the moment. Yeah, put
the buns back in the box withGod's sakes right now. Um. But

(39:39):
yeah, no, it's it's it'sa really really good show. And I
mean, I mean it looks wellwithout sort of spoiling. I mean,
you're not really a main character,so it's like, I guess it's not
a huge spoiler, but it lookslike you're not going to be appearing in
season two. I mean again withspoilers and all that, but you don't

(40:00):
actually see me officially die. Youdon't see like I'm not there as a
corpse at any point. I kindof get dragged off into the darkness there,
didn't they exactly? You can dream, you can dream. So it's
that thing about like you know I'mnot there. You know there's not a
doctor wholding my risk going he isdead. That's very h hashtag bring back

(40:22):
Felix, let's get let's get atrending. Um, it's I mean,
obviously like, I know that mycharacter was very much brought in for this
a very specific reason, um,for like the final three episodes again with
like you know, going into toomuch spoilers, so you know, I'm
perfectly at peace with the fact that, you know, like I fairly served

(40:43):
the purpose and he's done. Yeah. I mean it love to have a
phone calling six months time saying youknow, we want you for pre production
for a season two. So itwas it was. It was really nice,
man, because like when you whenyou first appeared and I was like,
oh my god, it's Gareth.Um. It was. It was
really nice and I was like,oh, that's really cool that he's doing
this. And you were kind oflike I think the first time you were
seen was in it was in theTundra, and you kind of like,

(41:07):
you know, you took someone down, you knock someone over with your ability,
yeah, And I was like,Oh, that's really cool sort of
thing. And then you were init again and then you had like dialogue
with one of the main characters,and it was really cool dialogue as well.
Like you know, you were verymuch like you know, you were
kind of like Ben Barnes is kindof right hand man and kind of like,
you know, Ben's not been tellingme this. His name's not Ben
in the show, but and Iwas like, it's just really really cool.

(41:31):
So no, well done, man, really really thank you very onto.
My main question, though, Ithink that I have to get to,
which is is Ben Barnes is sexyin real life as he is on
screen. I mean, ultimately,it's it's interesting to say that because the
entire show was put together for peopleto discuss why sexy Ben Barnes was reason
they made. But I can confirmnot only is he an incredibly handsome and

(41:55):
sexy chap and I'm saying, asyou know, a very happily married man,
but I mean, he's a veryvery handsome chap. But I have
to say every single member of thecast that I met were just delight to
work with from like day one.And as you say, I mean,
I come in, I am avery small rule and I am a minor
part. You know, I expectedthere to be sort of like a okay,
you know, you know they're goingto have the main six cast will

(42:15):
be off being the main six castsomewhere, But as soon as I met
them all, it was hugs,how are you mad? So great to
see you. And they obviously theyhad been given ideas of the script,
so they knew who my character was. Like, oh, your family,
it's great, bring it's so goodto see you, you know, going
out to drinks with them, goingout for dinner. It was so chill,
so cool, and like just againlike Ben, as you know,

(42:37):
a Bona Fiday superstar has every rightto be. You know, he could
easily have been aloof and going,you know, oh, I won't mix
with the hoyploy. But from dayone he was just an absolute star.
I have to say, I can'tspeak more highly on it was pretty good
and very sexy story. I'm gonnasay as well. Majority of the cast
seemed fairly new, Like they allseem they like, they're fairly fresh faces.

(43:00):
I mean, especially the main themain two. Yeah, yeah,
they're very they I mean I hada quick look at this of IMDb and
they you know, done very little, but they're great, really good.
Because always a kind of a bitof a thing, isn't it With Game
of Thrones when you had some ofthe people in it, there was questionable,

(43:21):
questionable acting. But I thought theseguys were really good and apart from
Ben, Barnes, Zerry Wanta Makerand probably Kevin Eldon. I think everyone
else was fairly unknown, and it'salways nice to watch something with unknowns but
still be really imfralled and impressed aswell. That's a big thing, isn't
it That you're not going look atthe Harry Potter man, you know when

(43:43):
Daniel really thought theater and you're like, oh, look at him go you
know, yeah, yeah, youknow, they go. I seen him
in Yeah. Ow, you're missinglike ten pages of dialogue as you're looking
at up on IMDb, just watchingand enjoy it. I did see Daniel
Wadcliffe in um some Pinter not PinterSamuel Beckett. Oh wow, it was

(44:07):
him and for fuck's sake, Scottishactor. No, not Macavoy, Domina
Gleason. He's Irish. Sorry,I don't know what I said. Alan
Cummings Cummings, Yeah, he's abit of allegi And it was on the

(44:30):
old that was it and it wasreally good play. Did they did a
really short one? I think itwas meant to be one for radio actually
for Radio two, not Radio twoBBC. But um before it was cool,
you know, there was scenes forRadio two or whatever. But anyway,
there was that one and another playthat I don't actually remember, but
very good. But I'm pretty surethere were some Harry Potter fans in there.

(44:52):
Yeah, and that's the thing,like he could he could let you
go on stage and go It wouldprobably sound but he is a very good
actor. Yeah, and the Radcliffeand he's done a great job of moving
beyond being the Harry Potter man exactly. There was a game of touchdown Game
of Throness them Alfie Army's sister andit Y are gray Joy. The one

(45:15):
is his sister. She was astand up comedian before she did Game of
Thrones and she got Game of Thronesand this kind of character became more than
what it potentially was going to be. But obviously after she'd finished, after
she had done the first series thatshe was in, she was like in
an episode or two she was theredoing stand up apparently and just a little
you know, dingy little pub somewherein London doing stand up and just in

(45:37):
the audience they were just sort oflike slightly overweight nerds with Game of Thrones
shirts on, with like books,not laughing at all, just staring.
They could get the autographer my Granddadbishwith Shadow and boone Um is a funcal

(45:57):
pub if I can get about done, made a little Felix made on rand
on the desk, love it,get it made, get it made pop.
If you're listening Felix, to doit only of Felix, no one
else as well. I don't wantto stuff, you know, just Felix.
I understand you're trying to you're tryingto get a hashtag trending. Yeah,

(46:21):
bring back Felix. You heard ithere first folks, let's get a
virus hashtags, restore the fleeks first. Just it just needs to make lunch.
People going, what's all this newsabout Felix I'm hearing before? Sorry,
I tried to do that. Itried to do that with my character
with with Jaqueline Hyde, but itturns out Jacklin Hyde was going to get

(46:44):
canceled. So none of that.I'm sure this word, I think it's
I think it's said number one onnumber two on Netflix the moment, so
I imagine season two is confirmed thebest numbers as well for that sort of
thing. It was what you want, isn't there you know? Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, it's actually yeah, number one like across most of Europe

(47:05):
and like North America and massively bigin Brazil. So I've got lots of
like just Portuguese comments. It's like, thanks, I don't really know what
you're saying. I think, yeah, kind of for my own, my
own benefit, I want there tobe at least two more seasons because I
know there's two more books in thisseries of books, so it'd be nice
to get the whole, whole roundedstory, you know. But I'm saying

(47:27):
earlier on the fact that there isso much stuff like that Lee Bardugo has
written and it's continuing to write withthe Scars series that and it's all good.
You know. It's all stories thatcould easily be told on screen and
not become you know, like boringor you know, like when like Game
of Thrones absolutely epic. There's alot of it. You know, there's
a lot of Game of Thrones like, Okay, let's do more of this.

(47:49):
But Shadow Mon I think it's niceand varied, especially as you say,
once you bring the crows in givesyou that different flavor. Um,
I think you can really run andrun. It's got Yeah, it's kind
of got an interest mix, isn'tit. Between kind of steampunk kind of
stuff, but also it's really gotthat kind of revolutionary kind of Russia kind
of feel to it as well,which I think is kind of what I

(48:12):
read the author was trying to getacross with the Gresha in there. They're
kind of they're grandeur and the sortof like how they they kind of laud
it over everyone else. Yeah,her her story point was, like she
said, was like sarust Russia,Like if you imagine Russia like eighteen twenty
when the rest of the world israpidly sort of industrializing, but Russia was
still very much left behind, andso like in the story, so you've

(48:35):
got they're sort of the place whereShadow Moon happens in a place called Ravka,
which is essentially based on Russia.North of them is Fiorda and to
the south is Shuhan, and they'reboth they're constantly sort of at war and
skirmishing, but the Fiordans especially arestarting to bring in things like repeating rifles,
you know, and mechanized sort ofwarfare and saying, you like,
what can these essentially peasants do againstit? And also I think of like,

(49:00):
you know, the Gresia have keptthem safe for so long. But
can Magic stop the tank? Youknow it's the idea of like you know,
the the changing of the Order.Well macne met so yeah, but
it's a course series. For thoseof you who haven't seen it, including

(49:21):
Paula, go check it out.But where can we check you out?
Gareth? You can check me outon Twitter at g Underscore Turkington. I'll
spell that because it's a ridiculous surnameand I apologize for that, So it's
a G Underscore t U r KI n G t O n G Underscore
Turkington. And then on Instagram it'sGareth dot Turkington. So we will have

(49:45):
that on our on our show notesand stuff like that, and we will
obviously tweeted it instagram it as well. Um, but now I think it's
time. This is this is theplays of the game. That's plays of
the game. So um, Paulbring bring on your little mate. Yeah,
I've got to get forward of this. Actually I'm not sure how tall
he is. Actually he could bemassive, and I'm just taking a piece

(50:06):
out of his voice. So yeah, don't hurt me, obsidian An if
you ever hear this dat, weknow your real name, just calling you
by a YouTube met name. Soright, just took it for the script
because I don't know it off byheart? Mate, where is it?
Oh? Yeah, there we go. Yeah, gool Eating's golf Talkington and

(50:29):
welcome to Why did They give Them? One star? The one star movie
review game. This is the gamewhere Paul and Ryan will each weet'll tay
one star review from a particular movie. Both two reviews will contain all the
information you need for you to answerwhat a movie they have picked. If
you get it to one, wewill waite to Netflix and make sure Felix
does not return for season two orthree of Shadow and Bone are Bone?

(50:53):
I apologize you've made a serious nowlisten, listen, maybe don't be so
harsh to them. No, hegets what he deserves if he gets into
one. If then, once hopefullyyou've answered correctly, it'll be your turn
to read out to one star reviewsfor the film that you've picked from there,

(51:14):
the host must get it right orwe will cancel Cold Callers comedy podcast.
That's very possible after our performances inthe last few weeks. Yeah cool,
So we're gonna go first. Somyself and Paul, we've both got
a one star review for the samefilm for you. So I'll go first,
and then Paul would Yeah, whydo you want to go first?

(51:37):
I thought there might have been moreclues than yours. Wasn't sure. All
right, you can go first,No, biggie, No, you go
first. Mate, We're both We'reboth gonna do them. We'll go at
the same time. Okay, Soum, one star out of ten again,
what is happening to the great Americandirectors? Normally I wouldn't bother commenting.

(52:04):
I think he's meant to have saidon, but he said He's just
said commenting. Normally wouldn't bother thecommenting such an awful movie, or even
watching it to the end. Butthis, after all, was the great
Blank, who directed some of themost brilliant movies in the last twenty years
or so and invented a style ofhis own. So I soldiered on,
and I hope to be surprised.In the end, I felt more than

(52:24):
disappointed. I felt embarrassed for him. This is not this is not the
meta trash he specializes in. Thisis just pure, unadulterated trash. No
intelligence, no originality, no irony, no second layer of meaning, no
Redeeming Grace is badly written, badlydirected, badly shot, badly cut.

(52:47):
The actors with the notable exception ofshall I say the name? Or should
I hold it off for now?Off? Okay, the noble exception of
blank are laughable. This is theor mush a dumb, semi illiterate teenager
would produce if you gave him afew million dollars and told him go right

(53:07):
and direct a movie. So Imust repeat the question that has been daunting
me since Poseidon by Ridley Scott.Never heard of that film? And Black
Hot? Is it? Awf withit anyway? And Black Horse by Spielberg.
I don't know if he means warHorse. I'm not sure. And
he's mixed black Hot, Black Beautyand war Horse together by Spielberg. What

(53:29):
is happening to the great hood Hollywooddirectors? Has a zombie plague stricken them
all? There we go? Thatis the first review. There you go?
Right? Any idea? So abig director of the past twenty years,
and he said Gore in there,that's what three B. So I
was thinking, Okay, maybe itwas christ Norlan because he's a big director

(53:49):
of the last twenty years. Ithink it's not very gory, don't really
do. Yeah, I'm going togive you the other review because I want
fully to make a comeback, soI want you to go, Paul,
we have to be yeah, okayfor this anyway? Yeah, one start
out of ten unadulter rated rubbish writtenby six stud It's good to know.

(54:15):
Yeah, Drek, absolute drek.Those of you that have labeled this travesty
as a masterpiece, travesty means comedyanyway, but people can get as a
masterpiece might want to go back andlook up the actual meaning of that word
irony. This ultra violent and racistfilm is some unbelievably awful that I cannot

(54:37):
fathom how I sat through it all. Blank has been hailed as this visionary
director and how he has come acrossthis title speaks volumes for society today.
Blank can spew forth many sorts ofbile on how he has used this film
as a metaphor for this homage tothat, But at the end of the

(54:57):
day, a film with this muchunnecessary and racial overtones has no place in
my life. Those who also yammeron and on about what a fantastic role
I say the name now or notleave it. I think I have any
fantastic role. Blank plays have obviouslyto me, never ever visited a Disney

(55:20):
store because he seems that, becausehe seems that his acting style would fit
in Nicety with that particular franchise.Blank is the exact same character he plays
in every Blank film. So manyand the less said about the rest of
the cast are better. How thisabsolute rubbish has been rated higher than the
one hundred and night what oh sosorry? How this absolute rubbish has been

(55:45):
rated higher than the than one hundredand ninety two other films just staggers me.
Avoid all costs if you actually claimto be an intelligent human being's it's
a good warning, isn't I supposeit is doing a service to humanity.
I'm getting the impression this might bea Tarantino movie and with the racist tones

(56:07):
and all that are we talking isa jangle on gend Yeah, I must
say, very impressive, well little, very little clues there, so very
very impressive. Thank you, goodstuff. Um, this has been like
the highlight of my week. Bythe way, looking for one star reviews

(56:28):
of great movies. It enableficent stuff. Well you know what we're going to
get to do it yourself and justto say yeah, but right now,
here's an advert. Okay, Gareth, So now is your chance to wow
us with the reviews that you havepainstakenly found this week. Thank you.

(56:49):
I mean, I have to saythe most difficult one was choosing only two
of them, and actually I havea third, bonus one, which is
just so enjoyable that I might haveto throw you once you've guessed. Okay,
I'll start with the first one.We love a Shadow and bonus so
one out of ten. Omfg,this movie is so overrated it's disgusting by

(57:15):
big Whiskers and nine point one onIMDb cat scans. Please. I've never
seen a worst depiction of Italians inmy life. More like caricatures and stereotyping
Italians from the turn of the centuryas smug talking idiots with I'm going to
bust you upside your f star starhead as the main dialogue. Everyone has
depicted as a ghetto talking grease monkey. Blank is a disgusting, fat slob

(57:38):
of a boss. All the restof the cast look like something out of
a bad B movie, with toughguy talking stabbing women around the b Macho
Blank is simply awful. He alwaystries hanging it up in every movie he's
in, as does Blank. Themovie itself is a disjointed mess, with
nothing but boring chatter and hearsay scenesin between shooting people up or beating people

(57:59):
up. Sure they were bad andterrorized people, but this movie is basically
just makes it look like a payus for a protection racket type thug movie.
Overrated, badly acted, in boring. I give it a big fat
zero an idea. Okay, sowe know it's about Italians. Could be

(58:20):
a very broad spectrum of of anykind of film with gangsters in it.
Really, isn't it. I'm notsure. Let's marrow it down. I
haven't. I mean it could befor me. I feel like it could
be one of three. But Iwanna I wanna just get the next one
talking narrow down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love this.
This is a great fun one outof ten. Are You out of

(58:43):
your friggin Minds? By thrill Housesix seven eight. This movie was more
boring than Church. They just talkedand talked. They hardly ever shot anybody.
Blank is a little girly man andthat Blank guy no one intimidating is
named bank when he got blown tobits, I laughed hard. Then there's

(59:05):
Blank? What's with this guy?Does he have marshmallow stuffed in his mouth?
Why does he look like that?And what's with that name? Blank?
Who names their son after a presidentialcommand? It could only be one
type of people, hillbillies, Italianhillbillies. If you want a real good
movie, go see Santa with muscles. He'll stop them. Oh my god,

(59:30):
I thought, I know, Ihave no idea. Blank is a
little girly man blank? See?I kind of when talking about telling gangs
to films if it is a Telliangangs film, marshmallows made me thinking like
the Godfather? And then I wasthinking, Joe PESHI is he a little

(59:51):
little man? I don't know?Mallow? Is he marshmallowing the whole?
Uh? Fucking um? The armymaneuver? Did you say for a name
presidential command? President command? Althoughyeah, that might threw you a little

(01:00:14):
bit. Yeah, I can't thinkour presidential command would be yeah. Um,
do you want to hazard a guess? Folks, Well, we haven't.
We haven't covered Godfather. We havecovered Godfather part two, so the
Godfather Part one? Is that youranswer? Folks, do you risk?

(01:00:34):
Do you risk your pod has beencanceled? I guess, I guess,
I guess we can't have to didwe only do it? Do we get
it right? So the man,Yeah, you have guessed correctly. It
is the god fare Oh, justa clarification. Michael Corleo was a little
girly bad Sunny. No one intimidatedhis name Sunny. And then there's Veto

(01:00:55):
who names her son after a presidentialcommand. Of course, of course his
name is video, isn't there Forsome reason, I was just thinking dom,
I was thinking of the other sounds. It's like, it's fraid our
presidential command. Amazing the idea ofjust like into the red phone frado.
So it was waspuccino, a little, a little girly man. Yeah,

(01:01:22):
can I give Can I give youthe the final one, which is just
so just I don't know how theydecided this is what they needed to write.
Yeah please, Day one out often sets a very bad example by
drunken englishman. Such a boring movie. I'm a very well established psychiatrist,
and I was disgusted and bewildered bythe lack of care the characters had for

(01:01:44):
themselves. In this film? Whaton earth was Michael Corleone doing not taking
antidepressants. Michael was a very depressedcharacter, and the fact he didn't seem
to take any antidepressants in this filmbaffles me, as I thought that would
have been obvious for him to doantidepressants. Maybe understated a lot and may
frequent be fine. I make peopleinfertile, but it's totally worth it if
it means stopping a potential suicide ofsomeone like Michael. I'm disgusted with this

(01:02:06):
movie, and my heart ached forthe autistic man known as Michael Corleone to
get help get drugs from a pharmacyin this movie. It's the first thing
that comes a mind when you watchThe Godfather is they need antidepressants readily available
back then as well? Was MichaelCorleone autistic in it? I think this

(01:02:29):
guy's a psychi did you see verywell psychiatrist? No lesson but drunk and
englishman well respected? Um. Ithink I wanted to use that as one
of the two, but I thoughtit was just a bit too cruel because
it has bugger all to do withthe movie. Yeah, yeah, oh
yeah, yeah, yeah yeah,Oh Jesus wow, very much for that.

(01:02:51):
It's very enjoyable. One more time, all right, I say,
are you allowed to go back toShadow and Bone Now we're gon we're gonna
put the hashtag out there. Wewill make it so um wrong franchise.
I'm sure. I'm sure it willpop up in season two. He'll be

(01:03:12):
you know, it'll be there,Charles with Ben Barnes's dad or something.
Um yeah, where one last time? Where can we find you on the
social media's? On the social media'sso I am on Twitter as at g
underscore Turkington and on Instagram as Garethdot Turkington. Come say hello, like
all my stuff, thank you pleaselovely stuff. We will, in fact,

(01:03:36):
I think yeah, we will getyou following you on coolers and all
stuff like that as well. Andwe are now okay, um, lovely
stun friends. Pleasure absolutely thank you, pleasure, pleasure, Thank you very
much and speak to you soon.Yeah, indeed, have fun, folks,
all the best, all the best, Yes, thank you very much.

(01:04:01):
Gareth. What a fabulous guest hewas. Lovely guy, absolute gem,
absolute gem. No, he's reallynice and yeah, I highly I
know, I said, I know. I was gushing a lot in that
interview. But I highly recommend goand watch Chando and Bone because it's fun.
It's really really fun. It's kindof you know, if you if

(01:04:24):
you're missing kind of Game of Thronesand stuff like that, it will take
that edge off cool it. Ihaven't yet, and I will so follow
me if you want to live rightright, let's well, we've got it's
now time for the movie for thepeople at home. But yes, before

(01:04:45):
we do that, what's last week? We last week's movie was nothing because
we didn't have an episode. You'reright, yeah, two weeks ago the
movie that we chose for you athome was Mum, it was Shrek.

(01:05:12):
I was gonna say Golden Knight.It was. It wasn't of course,
mission impossible, and I tell youwhat, it clearly was impossible because not
many people seemed to get it.In fact, there was only one winner.
I think it was quite hard,to be fair, it was quite
hard. It wasn't made it hard, You made it hard. Yeah,

(01:05:34):
um, But who did win?It was what agents Can and Scott from
the Spy Hards podcast. Of coursethey got it right, of course they
did. They love spy films.Yeah. So instead of any nods today,
I mean they want it, sothey get the shout out. But
we're going to bring them on forthe next episode that we do in a

(01:05:55):
couple of weeks time. Oh that'dbe nice. Yeah, I don't know
yet. Hopefully they're free. Right, Well, it's time for you guys
to play at home. So obviouslyyou've got two weeks to do it this
time, So I mean they hadtwo weeks last weeks or whatever. Yeah,

(01:06:15):
if you if you want to ifyou want to play, if you
want to win. Who knows.Maybe maybe this time we'll give you a
badge if you win, don't um, maybe we'll see so many bad maybe
a coaster her beer beer beer mare. There we go, see we might
get something. Maybe Paul is currentlyshowing off to me right now and it's

(01:06:38):
it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. But yeah, we'll see, we'll
decide. We'll decide. I needto get you. I need to get
that and a badge and start abubble wrap envelope or like a cushioned envelope
and send that to Jonathan Woodhouse,one of our most recent patrons. So
that is going to be on itsway to yet. I just I just
haven't got one of those envelopes,mate, and I want it to be
protected a jiffy jeffreyburg My, yeah, so we expires. Um but yeah,

(01:07:06):
if you want to play and whenpossibly stuff who knows? Then all
you have new is tell us thecorrect film by contenting us on Twitter at
Cold Callers or Instagram at Cold CallersUnderscore Comedy, or Facebook just typing Cold

(01:07:28):
Callers Comedy. Or you can gmailus. You can go. You can
type in uh, well you don'ttype in you email us at Cold Callers
Comedy at gmail dot com. Assimple as that, it doesn't take a
second. It only takes a minitake some minic girl to answer the question

(01:07:49):
question, um right should we dothis? Then? Yes? Am I
going first? I think I'm going? Yeah, I think so, yes,
all right, Um, I'm I'mgonna I'm gonna blank the names.
I feel like there is a cluethat would get one of the people away

(01:08:12):
if you really think about it.Um, but we'll see. Okay.
So this is by Lisa simp Thisthis um this this this review. Although
they've they've sort of put capitals inweird places. One out of ten just
read it, mate, good,great, funny. What the fuck you

(01:08:36):
interrupted? Me, Paul, meanwhat I was reading it. I can't
believe you. Oh mate, that'sa massive delay. I spoke ages ago.
What did you? Oh? It'sfine? Okay, um okay,
uh good, great, funny?What the fuck? Um? Okay?

(01:08:58):
So that's the headline. I can'tunderstand why all the comments of this movie
are so good. I mean,it isn't it's the typical movie. Why
typical stupid jokes with the worst actors. Well, Blank isn't that bad.
In the Fifth Element he was cool, But Blank I hate him. He

(01:09:21):
is good with karate and stuff.But he is good with karate and stuff.
But he definitely is not an actor. Definitely is not an actor.
I don't recommend this movie to anyonewho likes good movies. This movie is
just another really stupid action comedy.I hate action movies are all the same

(01:09:45):
with a stupid plot. I reallydon't like it. And if you want
to see a good comedy, gosee as good as it gets South Park
or There's something about Mary. Butthis one, no, I can't believe
that there is a second part andeven a third one. I wouldn't see
them for anything of the world.I wouldn't see them for anything I see

(01:10:10):
them for anything of the world.Anyway, I think that I think that
is very probably that you'll like it, because I feel like they just started
getting drunk or as they started writingthis review. Anyway, I think that
I think that is very probably thatyou'll like it, because most people like
stupid movies. It should be probablyshouldn't it. Well, anyway, I'll

(01:10:32):
try that. Anyway, I thinkthat is very probable that you'll like it.
That's still terrible English, because mostpeople like stupid movies with stupid situations.
It's just my opinion that it's bad. And this is and advice for
all the people who likes good movies. Don't watch it again. You just

(01:10:55):
had to get a little dig atpeople you liked that film, because most
people like stupid films. I'm notmost people, right, Yeah, I
can't. I can't write a sentenceproperly. But whatever, I okay,
I know you're I know you're readingthis and you're a moron, but she
made it very hard game go on. Okay, so I'm not going to

(01:11:17):
blank every name because yeah, anyway, yeah, one start out of ten
Hollywood sellout. I wonder why peoplerate this movie so highly. For this
isn't a Blank movie or even adecent action comedy. It's a Chris Tucker
movie. And Blank came along forthe ride. And if you know Chris,

(01:11:41):
you know the movie. I thinkhe is an annoying bag of hot
hair with a faggy voice and EddieMurvy and Eddie Murvhy style humor. So
and yeah, insulting and fensi EddieMurphy style humor. So I thought Eddie

(01:12:02):
Murphy was one of the kings ofcomedy. But Ronny doesn't work right,
I don't. Also, he's notlike Anie Murphy, but I don't like
him, so I don't like themovie. As for the action in this
picture, don't film action sequences witha handheld keep the shot static. If
they didn't, then they then they'vemoved the camera too up close and too

(01:12:25):
much. Why because I couldn't followthe action except from the first scene.
That one was quite good. Sowhat's the film? Yeah, you know
how to do it. It's sucha delay, you know how to do
it. Ryan already told you mindit back lazy. Yeah, we're going

(01:12:48):
to wrap it up here because Paul'sInternet is about to cough up a lung
and die. Um so, sothanks, thanks for thanks for listening,
thanks for supporting. If you're notgoing to support, then what's wrong with
you? Why are you even botheringlistening? Yeah? Well listening is support.

(01:13:15):
Support tell us, tell and tellyour mates yeah or you got mates.
Um. Just if you do getthe chance, please rate, view
and subscribe. And if you're notdoing that then you probably should stop putting
you putting some in your asshole?Whoa