Parlor of the Paranormal: Go Luck Yourself

Hello again for another Parlor of the Paranormal! This month we're reading a sequel to a book we really loved called Go Luck Yourself by Sarah Raasch. More gay panic, more holiday kingdoms, more emotions, more...whipped cream vodka? Just listen and it'll make sense. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Hello Christina, Hello Chelsea, and hello listener, and welcome to
the Parlor of the Paranormal.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
We are on an a guitar break.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
We are thank god, I'm crying. You can't see it, listeners,
but I'm like in tears, like I want to be
free so bad.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
There's two more books, and then I don't. The third
one doesn't exist. I don't think.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
It will ever exist. You kept threatening to make me
read it.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
I know, but it's like, so we have the two,
the one that I don't like and the one that
I do like, Okay, and then there's rumors that the
the next book will be announced in May, and I'm like.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Doubt, Okay, I have doubt.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
We'll see, but it'll be really funny if you come
back from from Japan and I'm like, hey, Christine, I
guess what I just like.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Fall to my knees and pain and suffering, Yeah, crying
to the sky. Yeah. But that's not what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
It is not what we're talking about today.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Today we are revisiting what is now kind of a
series we both think very fondly of. Yes, the sequel
book to A Nightmare Before Kismas, which is go Luck
Yourself by Sarah. What's the author race? I think we
have the book right in front of you.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
No, but I don't know how it's pronounced.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
It's two a's, I think rash. Usually when it's when
it's two vowels, it's like just raw, okay raw.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
She is delightful.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
We are mutuals on Tumblr, which is like a humble
brag for me, which'll cute because she listens to our well,
she at least listens to Parlor Now, which I think
is great.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
I love that, But.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
I don't know because people were asking like, is there
gonna be a third book?

Speaker 1 (02:10):
And she doesn't know yet.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
But she does have another series coming out which is
also fantasy romance, so we might.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Read that too. Ay, love to see it, Love to
see it. Love that shit, So go look Yourself is
in the same universe, following similar characters. There's some overlap,
but there are some new members of the ensemble to
nib before Christmas. We high recommend that you either read
or listen to us describe that book, but also read
it because just read it yourself. It's a good book.

(02:39):
It's fine, or at least just know what happens before
you go into this one because you will lose context.
Otherwise you will you will lose some.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Kind I feel like you can read this as a standalone,
but there's a lot of there's gonna be a lot
of context that you just won't understand. Yeah, there's a
lot of emotional baggage you aren't going to fully comprehend.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Ooh boys there And I feel like that's a perfect
segue into the trigger warnings for this book. Yeah, so
largely the trigger warnings are talking about emotional abuse. Yeah,
there is some discussion of like, nothing too crazy. There's
a lot of discussion like mental health issues, there are,
there's emotional abuse.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
There's financial abuse that too.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Yeah, that's true. There's emotional and financial abuse. There's discussion
of mental health issues. There's nothing too inflammatory, I think,
other than just like there's gay sex. Yeah, there's two
dudes having sex, and that's in this book. But that's
this is part of the paranormal that's that's that's part
of the course. People have to be having sex. That's

(03:40):
kind of the point.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Well, we read Twilight, we did, which was it's they
do be sexless. They do have sex in Twilight, they
have a child.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, they don't describe it, but they do well. They
talk about the breaking the bed, yea, they get more
gruesome with him freaking biting the baby out of her stomach.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah that's the yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
So yes, part of the paranormal romance. Those are mostly it.
Good Luck Yourself is following as like a non spoilery
little primer. It's following the second son of the Christmas family,
the Clause family, Christopher Christopher Christopher Claws, who is having
a bit of a crash out after the events of

(04:21):
Nightmare for Christmas. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
We actually start this book literally two months after Christmas,
so two months after the last book has ended.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
And it follows him recovering from what happened, dealing with
his own feelings and emotions about it, and then maybe
falling in love himself, but not with Iris, which I
was like about, which uh, both of us were very.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
Much like, all right, how are you going to?

Speaker 1 (04:46):
How are you going to?

Speaker 2 (04:46):
It was done very well.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
And we will get into that in the spoilery summary
of the book, which we will have right after a
brief word from our sponsors. I feel like we should
get into the book. All right, let's get back. We
should talk about the start Welcome back everyone. We're gonna
talk about go well yourself. Yeah. As we alluded to
at the beginning of the non spoilery review, we have

(05:12):
Chrisopher Clause who is having a slow motion panic attack.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah, he's so we're starting two months after Christmas.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
He's back at school. Yes, he's at Cambridge. He's at Cambridge.
And his brother, who was the main character in the
last book, his brother is like taking He's not taking
a year off of Yale, but he's like going.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
He's doing classes online online.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
He's doing online classes that he can focus on fixing
all of the problems that their father did with basically
blackmailing other holidays into giving Christmas their joy. Yeah. Cole
is back at Christmas working to give reparations for that
and negotiate the formation of the new Winter Holiday Collective. Yeah,

(06:01):
and he has told Chris no, no, no, you don't
have to be a part of this. You go and
you focus on your studies. You go and focus on
your studies. Because also Chris has been having a weird
time because right at the end of the book, which
they don't get into for Night of Her Christmas, Yeah,
we find out that Chris professed his love for his

(06:21):
longtime childhood friend Iris, and in the middle of professing
his love to her, realized he didn't he did not
love her. Yeah, so this is a bit at the
beginning of the book. I have to say that I
was not as I didn't find it to be as smooth.
I understand the thought process because basically with Chris's explanation here,

(06:43):
and it makes more sense as the book goes on,
but I didn't find it quite satisfying at the beginning. Okay,
where Chris says that he realized when he was professing
his love to Iris he was a drunk and then
b realized that he was more in love with the
idea of her in him together than he was actually

(07:04):
with her as a person. Yeah, it was more like, oh,
this is what I should do.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
I should be marrying a princess.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yes. There is a large ongoing theme through the book
of like story books and stories with Chris and the
involvement of stories in his life and like how he
perceives the world through the narrative of stories because he's
a writer. Because he is a writer, that is how
he thinks about things. Though he has not done writing

(07:32):
in a very long while Yeah, So when he was
saying that he was in love with Iris, it was
mostly because he loved the idea of having a having
a prince and princess happily ever after with her, because
she was perfect and pretty and nice and lovely and
everything that a prince should be looking for, and surely

(07:54):
if they were together then everything would be okay. Yeah,
And then upon actually trying to make that happen, reality
slapped him real hard in the face and he was like,
oh God, this is not at all actually what I want.
It was a story I was telling myself. Yes, And
apparently Iris was very aware of that and kind of

(08:15):
gave him that cringing look like oh honey, yeah when
he confessed, which caused him to be really weird and
pull away from her. And he hasn't actually spoken to
Iris since.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yes, they have been trying. They've kind of been trying,
Like Iris tried texting him and he didn't text back.
There's the group chat that they have that with coal
with yeah, with coal, which is like coal and Iris
are using it, but Chris is just kind of like hovering.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
And they're talking about like he's he's present in the
group chat because he he makes comments about like, I
don't know why they still include me in this group chat.
It's like, my dude, you could leave, like you could.
It's it's one of these things where Chris is really
feeling weird and stressed out because he is feeling unmoored,
unmoored very much. So, Yeah, he doesn't know who he is.

(09:08):
He's really embarrassed by the realization that he had He
is finding like Cole no longer needs his help, and
Chris has kind of defined himself as Cole's helper. Yeah,
that's emotional support. Brother's that's a load bearing part of
his personality is the fact that he is there to
be like the emotional support and the mature one of

(09:31):
the two of them, even though Cole is the one
who is like physically getting between Chris and his parents
literally in the last book. But Cole very much so
has been looking out for Chris and that kind of
like big brother, I'm going to protect you from the
world kind of way, whereas Chris has looked at Cole
had been like, I'm going to protect you from yourself, yeah,

(09:53):
kind of way.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
And there's still a whole thing like we went into
it in the last book, where he has a very
unhealthy relationship with their mother.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yes, because their mother sucks.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
We oh got it. We see that so much more
blatantly in this book, And I'm like Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah, yeah, because the first book was done through Cole's perspective,
and Cole had already written off their mother years ago.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yes, but Chris hasn't. He has a harder time detaching himself. Yeah,
which I get very much. Yeah, but that's we go
into that a little bit later at the beginning.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Of the book, because she texts him at the beginning
of the book, and is it right at the beginning,
It's like right at the beginning.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Yeah, because she's angry about the wedding. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
Yeah, she's angry about not knowing about the wedding, yes,
and Chris is like it wasn't even a real wedding anyway.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
And she's also angry because she had been texting Chris
and Chris hadn't been replying, and she's guilt tripping him
about it, and she's saying very hard not not to reply.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
She's saying some like absolutely horrendous stuff, like some real
narcissists like Darvo crap about how like why can't you
ever do anything right? Yeah, why can't you just do
this simple thing for me? You're being so immature, You're
being such a bad son, like black Father.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
I thought you were better than Cole because Cole just
fucking wrote her off and doesn't talk to her.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Right, why can't you get cold to talk to me?
I thought you could just do this one simple thing
for me, Like after everything I've done for you. Blah
blah blah blah blah. She sucks. She sucks a lot. Yeah,
she sucks a bunch. And this is deeply affecting Chris, Yeah,
because he we find out over the course of the book,
like they talk about it a little bit more. Part
of the story of the book is him coming to

(11:31):
terms this relationship with his mother. Yeah, but he was
very close to her when he was young, and I
can't remember exactly when in the story they tell us
how she left, but the way that she left the
family was very traumatic for a young child. Yeah, and
it really deeply affected Chris, who kind of has in
his head this idea of like, she's still my mom.

(11:54):
I can't just like write her off. And also, this
is something that is not explicitly said the beginning, but
was very obvious to me. The way that Chris behaves
is very much if I just act right, she will
come back. Yeah. Chris very much has this mindset of
like not wanting to cut his mom off because he

(12:16):
has some kind of hope that there is something he
can do that he will become good enough for her, Yeah,
and she will start treating him better. Yeah, which like, oh, Chris, honey,
that's not gonna happen. It's not how that works. That's
not how that works. And that's more explicitly said later
in the book, but it is pretty obvious even at
the beginning here, even in the last book a little bit.

Speaker 3 (12:35):
Yeah, well, because in the last book, Cole is trying
to get Chris to stop.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Talking to her entirely.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Yeah, So we see that like kind of in the
beginning of the book, we see him like sort of
debating whether or not he should reply to her text messages.
M but that has contributed to the souring of his mood.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
Where we open up this book, he is in a
very bad also. He's freaking spilled his coffee.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
He's having the worst day. He's having the worst day.
He's got to do this fucking paper for one of
his history classes, because he is studying history.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
He's studying is it just history? Was it like international
It's like the international relations, but part of that is
knowing history. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
And he's got this one study room in the library
that is his favorite study room because apparently the markers
always work.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
It's right in between like where the ac and the
heater are or whatever, so it's.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Always like the perfect temperature.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
It's just like the optimal place to study. Yeah, But
for the past several weeks, every time he tries to
go it has been occupied. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
So this time he's like, hey, I'm going to do
it through the app, which, buddy, I feel that so hard.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
He reserves the space for a specific time and rolls
up to that study room on the time that he reserved,
only to find that it is it's a guide occupied.
And he's been having the worst day, the worst day
he's been doing with like the stress from his mam.
He poured coffee over himself and he's just trying to
hide that underneath his sweater because he doesn't have time

(14:04):
to go change and he keeps getting text messages from
the group chat for iris and or Iris and Cole
talking about Iris's sister's wedding that which has been pushed
pash again, postponed again. I don't think that Iris's sister
wants to marry the halliwe the Valentine's Day Prince. Yeah,
I don't think so either. I don't think she wants
to marry the Valentine's Day Prince because she keeps finding

(14:27):
new reasons to not do that. And I'm like, what's
up with that? What's up with that? Hey, what's up
with that? There's some trouble in paradise here, it seems like, yeah,
but anyway, so the that's not happening. The wedding was
supposed to be like that weekend, but it gets pushed back,
and Chris is like, oh, thank god, I can avoid
my problems a little bit longer. As he's having this

(14:48):
slow motion panic attack, and so he is so done
when he notices that the study room is taken and
he just bangs on the door. He's pounding on the
door and he's like, Hey, whoever's in there, come out.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
It's not the same handwriting, you know, it's been the
same person the whole time.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
It's the same handwriting on the little thing that's he
there's a little bored by the door and he writes
occupied on it. He bangs on the door saying like,
whoever's in there, come out and face me in one
on one combat. Give me the room. Yeah, And a
dude opens the door, who Chris is like, oh no,
he's hot. Immediately immediately he's like, oh god, he's hot.

(15:24):
But also I'm pissed off at him because I want
this room. I want this room, and he keeps stealing
it from me. Hey bro, stop cut that out. This
is my space. Leave. And this dude, this random man,
this random irishman, this random high cheek boned irishman, is
not giving him the kind of day kind of He's like, He's.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Like, you reserved it? Like really, You're like why do
I care?

Speaker 3 (15:48):
Like I'm here, what authority grants you the Like are
you gonna call the police on me?

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Like yeah, He's basically like, I'm here first, screw you
kind of vibes yeah, And Chris makes the the he
he makes the mistake of saying like you're hot. What
he does is he grabs the dude by the shirt
and attempt to like, hey, buddy, like I don't care
how cool you think you are, how good you think

(16:14):
you look, or whatever. Like he's trying to He's trying
to bring this dude down to size, but in doing so,
it's just like you're hot. He's like, I don't care
how hot you think you look or how like how
hot this a think He says, how hot you are?
It's something to the effect of like how hot you
look in that tank top or something. Yeah, and the
dude just takes from that, Oh, so you think I'm hot? Yeah,

(16:37):
and Chris is like, I'm going to kill myself. Chris
is like, I hate you and I am full of
like a burning piy fiery passion. And this is weird
for me because normally when I get angry, I internalize
it and it becomes depression. But now I am angry
to the point of wanting to do a violence to you,
which is not how I usually process anger. Yeah, so

(16:59):
I'm realizing my anger at you. That's new and weird.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
So he gets the door slammed on him, and Chris
is like, usually I'm the level headed one, yes, but
this one time, I don't want to be level headed
right now, and so he pulls.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
It does you just want to go a little insane. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
He pulls into the front of his magic and fills
the room with tinsel.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
He just decides, I'm gonna tinsel bomb the hell out
of this space. I'm gonna completely fill the entire room
with bright blue tinsel. Yeah, and then he like walks
away casually from the door before it can get open,
and you can hear the guy inside just yelling. He's like,
what the fuck because suddenly there is tinsel everywhere, like
an entire room full, Like, how do you explain that?

(17:45):
It doesn't matter? So Chris walks away so that he
can have it so well he has. He walks a
distance away so he has some pausible deniability, but so
they can still observe. As the door is open and
he whips out his phone to film as this guy
walks out looking like the freaking tinsul monster from the
Tinsel Lagoon, and everyone around him in this library because

(18:06):
they're in public.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
They're in the Cambridge Library where a bunch of students
are studying.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Everyone is just laughing and like thinking this is hilarious,
And the guy doesn't seem to be that bothered by it.
He's more just pissed off because you know, he he
knows who did it to make sure I diye contact
with Chris and is like you, but this is like
you can't.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
Prove anything because you're a normy and it's like he's
not though we all know he's not.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
And then he he just kind of like gives up
and leaves, and Chris is like, victory for me, and
so he goes into the room and he gets rid
of all the tinsul with magic and he he studies.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
He then like panics a little bit and texts Cole
and is like how much magic did I theoretically use
for this?

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Like is that bad?

Speaker 2 (18:49):
And Cole is just like I love it.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
Because this is a thing where like Chris almost immediately
feels guilty for doing this.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah, and he like goes up and makes you it's
all like cleaned up so that the janitors don't have
to do it.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
But also he follows the tinsel trail of Shoy and
figure out like who this dude is and he finds
out he's an art history major because the tinsel trail
led him to the art books. Yeah, so he's like, oh,
of course pretentious art history gas. Yeah, of course, but no.
He he goes to Cole to text him to be like,
I'm so sorry. And because Christmas has been having a
magic deficit, they're not going to be taking as much

(19:25):
magic as they're used to in they've been using it
willy nilly.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
Before this, but now they're not gonna be taking as
much in they're also going to pay back the magic
that they have been stealing.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yes, they've been negotiating with the other countries to give
them their magic back. And this is also after Christmas,
so they have less magic than they would beforehand anyway,
because they use the bunch to make Christmas happen. Right.
So Coal is like, don't worry, dude, it's fine, Like,
oh my god, he did a prank, baby's first prank. Yeah,
whereas Chris is like, oh god, that was stupid of me.

(19:57):
I feel really bad for it, Like we couldn't afford
doing this. He's overwhelm with guilt again, of course, yeah,
but he doesn't have a lot of time to process
that because he's got school to do and they're talking about, like,
you know, stuff happening at Christmas. Chris is really trying
to get involved with that, and what do you need
me to do what I can do. Want me to
write a speech? Do you want me to write some stuff?

(20:18):
And Cole is like, unless there is an emergency, I
need you to just keep going to school. Yeah, he's like,
hex is here to mind me. Yeah, everything's going fine,
everything's going fine. Comrades down.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
It's about I want to say, actually, this might tell me.
I have the book right in front of me.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Oh, I actually read a physical book. Guys. It's a
couple of days later. It's at least a couple days later.
I want to say, it's like a week later. It
doesn't say okay.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
M yeah, but it's like it's a bit later, and
he suddenly he gets yeah. Three days later, he gets
a text from Coal that says, Okay, I remember when
I said I'd only drag you home early for an emergency. Well,
emergency get home now, sos Dad seating full control of
Christmas to me, like the magic, the title, all of.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
It, and this is something that this isn't This is
a text that Chris sees when he wakes up in
the morning. Yeah, he did not get woken by this text,
nor the subsequent text before it, or like miss calls,
he missed missed call because he did all of his
like stuff. He had to do it too, you did
his tests and his report, and he just crashed. And
then he wakes up after a long sleep and it's like,

(21:27):
uh oh, drama. Yeah, their father is now stepping down
as Santa. Yeah. So Chris immediately is like, okay, I'm
going home. We're gonna figure this out. So he he
teleports himself back to Christmas and he's like, what did
I miss Did it already happen? Cole was there and
he's like, no, no, no, it's fine. Everything is okay.

(21:48):
We were waiting for you. Dad wants to just make
me Santa now yea. And Chris is like why would
he do that though? And Cole is like I don't
know either. It's it's kind of weird. And Ren, their
personal assistant, is there, and she stressed out about this
because this is supposed to be like a big thing.
This is literally like just but just small. I don't

(22:08):
even think Iris is there. She's not. No, this is
like a changing of the guard. This is like literally
the previous monarch is giving up the throne and a
new one is being crowned essentially in this and this
should be a really important thing, but they want to
get it done with this little pomp and circumstances possible.

(22:29):
And they see their dad. They're at the there's this
room in their palace where the joy container is and
the Mary Measure, the Mary Measure.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yes, every holiday has a different name for it.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
And it's basically just like the big holder of their
joy where it gets collected for the magic. Yes, And
they're in this room and their dad's there and he's
talking to the woman who oversees that, and he sees
the boys. He sees they're both there, and he's like, okay, cool,
let's just get this over with him being like joyful.
He's being a show about it. Fuck are you? And
he also mentions like the first they go through the process, yeah,

(23:04):
which is a very important thing because this is this
comes back around later. It's Chekhov's joy handing off where Marta,
the woman who is in charge of the marry measure,
brings out this panel and is like, okay, both you
got to put your hands on the panel and this
has to be a joyful transfer. So the previous willing,
the previous monarch has to willingly and joyfully give up

(23:28):
control to the next one, and old Santa is like,
deuces poop, here you go, boy, and Cole gets electroshocked
with magic and he's Santa now yeah, and he's still
weird out by that, and the previous sin is like, Okay, sick,
we're done. Cool, I'm gonna be off to the island
and see you. And they're like, I'm sorry island. They're like,
what are you talking about. And he's like, oh, yeah,
I'm gonna go see your mom. And they're like, we're

(23:49):
gonna work on our marriage. Oh. He doesn't say we're
gonna work on our marriage. He says I'm gonna get
anything back in line. Yep. He says it in the
weirdest way, most like sort of sociopathic way, where it's
like he says that I have let things go for
far too long, and part of that was my marriage

(24:09):
in the sense that like apparently he and his mom,
like their parents, never got divorced. His men just separated, separated,
they just dipped. And so he's just gonna go to
the island she's living on in the freaking Caribbean or
whatever and try and get her to come home. Yep. Maybe, yep.
I don't know, and they're like, what are you talking about? Yeah,

(24:32):
but he just leaves Old Santa.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
Old Santa leaves and his sons are having kind of
a crisis.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
But they're also like, I don't even know what to
do with this information right now? Do I even do
with that? Hex is also there. Hex is there, Yeah,
the Prince of Halloween. Cole's boyfriend. Hex is there, and
he's looking at all this and he's like, what was
that just now? He's basically part of the family now,
I mean, yeah, he and Chris have a little banter.
He's there try and provide some emotional supports. He is

(24:59):
providing emotional support and I could read it through it,
but it doesn't matter because there's there is a couple
things that then happen.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
And I don't remember which order they happen. Okay, the
things that happen are one, they noticed that the amount
of joy they have is slightly off.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
That happens after they find oh, okay, the bit of
the shamrock.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
So then, uh, Chris is looking at the Mary measure
and he like, out the corner of the eye of
his eye, he spots green, yes, and it's a shamrock
and then he looks down. He's like, what the fuck.
He looks down and he sees this thing that's like
plugged in, which to me, it looks like one of
those things you have to plug into.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Your car for your car insurance. Okay, uh. They were
described as like a steampunk little box. Yeah yeah, I
still think it's like, you know, the thing you plug in. Anyway,
I don't actually know what you're talking about. Oh no, okay,
there's some insurance companies do it.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
It depends. It also is like dependent on how old
you are blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Okay. I had one of when I as a teenager,
is like to track you while you're driving.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
Kind of it's not like a tracker, but it's basically
that I keep control of, like what your mileage is
and things like that.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
So it's tracking your mind with it's tracking your mileage,
it's tracking tracking the wear and tear on your car.
It's basically like how much your insurance is based on
like how good of a driver you are?

Speaker 3 (26:12):
Okay, Yeah, it's not actually tracking your location. It's just
tracking like how good of a driver you are in
your car?

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Interesting?

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah, okay, And it's apparently really big thing for like teenagers,
because teenagers you want your rates to go low. But
generally speaking they're pretty high for teenagers. But they're not
the best drivers, yea, yeah, but if you can prove
that you're a good driver, your rates go down. Sure
makes sense anyway, That's what I'm picturing in my head.
So but he notices it because he's like, oh, this little,

(26:40):
this little box thing, it's he recognizes it because that
was what is and it still is plugged in to
like take magic from other from other holidays, but they're
now using it to like reverse it. So they're still
like a bunch of them still plugged in. But he
knows that this one specifically is to take.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Well Cole has to explain that to him, right, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
So they don't unplug it.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Would they realize with this is somebody has come in
here and is installed this against Christmas knowledge and will yeh,
because this is an item, yes, as Chelsea said, that's
meant to take magic away from them, unlike the other
ones that they're willingly give magic away from this one
nobody knew about, yes, And the only reason that Chris

(27:26):
noticed it is because there was a little shamrock growing
out of the ground in the middle of a building.
What's up with that? And Marta is there and she's like,
I didn't see that last week, Like this wasn't there.
I'm so sorry, and she points out also, as Chelsea said,
there have been some discrepancies. Yeah, but she didn't have
the time to look over and make sure that because

(27:48):
everything was accounted for. Some magic is being used by
the family, some magic is being given to other holidays
as part of the reparations. There's a bunch of reasons
why magic is leaving. She hasn't time to do like
a full audit to figure out if there if the
magic's actually as much as they should have yet and
now it is clear that no, somebody is skimming off

(28:10):
the top here.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
And it's not a lot, but it's enough that Cole
is like, all right, well, I originally had like twelve
percent set aside to start giving back to the other holidays,
and I have to bump it down to like.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Eight or something like that. Four percent of their magic
is now gone. Yeah, and this is a problem. It
is a problem for political negotiation reasons, for like, you know,
the safety and maintaining of their magic. Reasons. Yeah, there's
a whole big issue here.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
There's a sort of sense between Cole and Chris that
it's like, well, we kind of deserved that, but.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
Also it's still a problem.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
It's still an issue. It's not even that they're man
that magic is being taken away from them. They're man
that magic's being taken away from the people it's supposed
to go back to. Cole goes into this whole explanation
about how he is negotiating payment to the other winter
holidays from their leftover magic from Christmas, and how that
twelve percent was meant to be divided amongst them, and

(29:08):
now he has to go to those people and say, sorry,
we can only give you eight and that is like
a huge slap to the face for those people, and
that's what's mostly infuriating them. Yeah, and he and Hex's
try and go into like a little bit of like
tackling the emergency, but they take Chris and away and

(29:28):
they're explaining the shamrock part to him, where Hex is explaining, hey,
there's this thing called magical like remnants or whatever. It's
remnants and remnants where sometimes depending upon how a holiday's
magic evolves, depending upon what you do with it, it
can leave an unintentional effect. For the example that Hex

(29:50):
then uses is whenever he swears as the Halloween Prince,
it causes some kind of Halloween magic. It's fun because
a black hat appears and it's very great and the
scene is just you'd have to read it. That Hole's
very gay about it. He's like, that's our baby. Yeah,
that's our child, Hex, this is our child. This cat
and Hext's like, it's not a real cat, it's not
actually a cat. But while they're explaining this, and they're

(30:12):
explaining the whole thing of like, hey, this is what
we think it is. We think that this shamrock, this
clover would.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Come from Saint Patrick's day.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
Well, they don't even first say it because they say
it's a clover, and then yeah, Chris acknowledges things like, okay,
so this is from Saint Patrick's day. And he's like, wait,
you guys already figured that out. You alread knew that.
And also there's a knock on the office door and
incomes Iris Lanah and Chris has got to be weird

(30:40):
about it. Chris has gotta be weird about this is
the first time he's actually seen her since he confessed
his feelings.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
To her since Christmas non feeling.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
And it turns out that almost immediately after finding the box,
Cole had asked, they're a resistant wren, to call Iris
and have her come here, because he your daughter was
Saint Patrick's Day. Yeah, and he was like, that's a
spring holiday, your spring holiday. Do you know anything about them? Yeah?
And Iris is like, not all spring holidays are friends,

(31:12):
so no racist. No, She's like, unlike the winter and
autumn holidays, the rest of us are not like a collective.
We're not like buddy buddies all. Yeah. Together, She actually
doesn't really know that.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
She knows some things about Saint Patrick's Day, and the
biggest one is that.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
The reigning monarch like five.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
Years ago, I think it was, yeah, five or six
years ago, the rainy monarch and his wife died or
like the wife maybe died first and then he died.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
I think the wife died when they were kids and
the husband. The husband died.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
Died five years ago, and it should have gone to
the crown prince, but he was deemed too young because
he was fifteen at the time.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
He was deemed to be not fit, not ready for
the throne.

Speaker 3 (31:55):
So it went to the previous king's older brother, the
younger brother, sorry, younger brother.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
That's all she really knows about it. But she also
knows that there has been a little bit of drama
with the Crown Prince of Saint Patrick's Day recently, and
she pulls out a well first, they're looking them up.
Actually looking them doesn't bring it up. No, yeah, they're
looking them up.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
Chris and Cole are like, all right, here's here's what
we can do.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
And Chris is very much like, let me help, let
me do this, and they're like, we don't want to
outright like a cute Saint.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
Patrick's Day of doing this.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
Uh so maybe you could go on like a tour
of different holidays.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
We can make it like a good will thing.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
Have Saint Patrick's Day be one of those stops. And
Chris is like, great, I can totally finish all my
stuff for my term early, like it'll be no problem, Like, let's.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Do this, and they're looking joking. They're they're looking up
the royal family, right, they're joking, and uh, Chris is like, hey,
at least it's not like I'll have made out with
the Saint Patrick's Day prince because that was the whole
thing in the last book where Hex and Chris Coles
and Cole had made out before they officially met.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
Yes, and Cole didn't know that until until Hex's just
kind of showed up.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah, he was like oh fuck. So he's like, all right,
we don't, like, at least that's not our problem.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
Then he's looking and then he sees a picture of
the Crown Prince and just like stares because and he's like, no,
this is not it.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
And they're like, hang on, did you make up with him?
Like is that what's happening here? Because Chris recognizes who
the Crown Prince of Saint Patrick's Day is despite not
having ever met him, because obviously it's the dude from Cambridge.
It's the guy from the study room that he tinsel bombed. Yeah,
and Chris is now having a panic attack because he's like,
oh no.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
That's not what he's calling it.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
Though, Okay, do you want to elaborate on that, Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
Chris, so we'll get into it. And this was something
that resonated so deeply with me. Chris has these moments
throughout the book where he's like, uh, oh, what do
I do? Like, can't like my breath coming in short,
blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (34:01):
But he's very adamant about this. Isn't this is a
panic attack. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine,
it just happens. This is denial for sure. Denial.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Yeah, uh, which I'll get into. I'll talk more about
it later. But man, did I relate to that so
fucking hard.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
But he is freaking out about this and reveals that, like,
that's the dude that I tinsel bombed. And Cole is
so happy because like, oh my god, baby's first international incident. Yep,
that's so cute. That's so sweet. And Iris looks at
this and she's like, wait, that was you.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
Because it's like, oh, you are not like this. This
is breached containment.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Yes, this is something that every other royal in the
holiday sphere knows about except for the Halloween well Hex
because he's a little hipster who doesn't like read the tabloid, right,
and Chris and Cole who don't read the tabloids because
they used to be the subject of most of it.
And there's like a whole thing now where they do
kind of feel guilty because it's like, oh, the tabloids

(34:55):
no longer have coal to like latch onto and write
shitty things a out because Cole is actually being a
good leader, a good leader right now, so they are
now they take this one incident out of like completely
blow it out of proportion because they need something else,
someone else to suffer because what they're saying happened. There's

(35:15):
coverage of the tinsel incident from Cambridge. There's another angle
of somebody filming it on their phone with the Crown
Prince of Christmas. We find out his name is Lachlin Patrick, Lachlan,
Prince of Saint Patrick's Day. Sorry, yes, Crown Prince of
Saint Patrick's Day. Lachlan's coming out of the studing room
covered in tinsel, and the tabloids are spinning this as
a hazing thing. Yeah, that he is part of a

(35:36):
hazing scandal at Cambridge, and that they're questioning like is
he fit to even be in the royal family? Should
he be in charge of Saint Patrick's Day? Like he's
not currently his His uncle Malachi is the person who
is supposed to be in charge. Yeah, I listen to
the AUDIOBOI they say Malachi.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
No, it's with a y at the end, I was like,
I really hope it's not Malachi.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
It is Malachi. Okay, for those of you that don't know,
Mao's full name is Malachi. I feel like we've made
that goof before. I don't remember, but no, you may
don't know what home, but no it is. It is
Malikie Patrick is the is the current king, Crown Prince
is Lachlan, and the public media, the tabloid press is saying, oh,

(36:22):
he's a you know, a vandal and he's getting involved
in all of this shady hazing stuff. He's this is bad,
bad look for the crown Prince. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:32):
And so now Cole is like, well that makes that easier.
You don't have to go on like a tour. You
can just like go there under the guise of apologize.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
You can just roll up to apologize this dude directly
because you did that to him. Yeah, And Chris feels
really bad about it, for sure, because like, I did
not mean to ruin this man's reputation. But he's also
pissed off because like, this was a prank. This was
a single prank I did on this man. It should
not be this big of a deal. But absolutely I
will go to Ireland and I will apologize, and while
I'm there, I'll snoop around and I'll find out who

(37:03):
is stealing our magic. I bet it's that dude. I
bet it's Laughlin because he's the worst and he's an
asshole and I hate him, So I bet it's him. Yea,
And everyone's like okay, Chris, sure, but sure. One positive
thing does happen with this interaction is that Iris kind
of like forces Chris to talk to her in a
way like they are made to talk, Yeah to each other.

(37:26):
I supposed to Chris just like avoiding her outright. Yeah,
And this kind of helps Chris with the whole like, Okay,
we can be normal, Yeah, we can be chill friends, Like, yes,
I really awkwardly profess my love to you and realize
I didn't actually love you, and Iris is like, yeah,
I knew that though, Like, and I just kind of
want to be bros, Like I get your feeling really

(37:49):
weird about it, but like, you don't actually have feelings
for me, and I'm not pressed about it, so I
don't have feelings, like you're just you're my best friend.
Can we just be chill? And Chris is like, yes,
we yes, So some of that awkwardness is diminished. Of
it's diminished, there's still some of it that they have
to work through, but it's it's being actively worked on,

(38:09):
which they're good. And they're now talking to each other. Yeah,
which is a big improvement.

Speaker 3 (38:13):
Because Iris has She's like, I have a list of
words that my professors have been using that I don't
think are real and I need your help. Because apparently
that was like a thing that they always did is
she would like send words to Chris and be like,
this isn't a real word, and then Chris would send
her photos of things for her new art project. Her
new one, by the way, horrifying because she's just making

(38:36):
portraits with Google eye.

Speaker 1 (38:37):
She's doing googly eye mosaic. She did one for her
sister of her sister. I should say it's not for
her sister, because I think it was meant to be
like a creative like fu outlet for all the wedding stress. Yeah.
So she made a portrait of her sister in colored
googly eyem mosaic and is now like I'm kind of
feeling this.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
I and like Chris was like I almost took a
picture of that when I pranked him to send to
you to make an art project out of. But now
it's like he's just like screencapped the video that someone
else took and like sent it to her to make
horrifying googly eye portraits of.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
And so they negotiate. All right, this is what's gonna happen.
Chris is gonna go to Saint Patrick's day. He's going
to apologize. We're gonna try and like recover this reputation
because this is a stupid thing. But also STOOPI bout
see if you can figure out where the match is
coming from and then we can get our magic back. Yeah,
save the day. Everyone goes home happy.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
We're not gonna So it's like, we're not gonna unplug
it it because if we unplug it, then they're gonna know
that we're onto them. Right, We're just gonna We're just
gonna keep it plugged in and monitor it and see
what happens.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
And Chris is all for being involved. He wants to
be a diplomat. He wants to be involved, just because
there is this fear in the back of Chris's mind. Again,
this is not something explicitly said yet, but it is
very obvious. There's this fear in the back of Chris's
mind of being kind of left behind by everyone in
his life, being abandoned, of no longer being useful to people.

(40:06):
He feels like he has to be useful to them
in order for him to be worthwhile to them, and
so if he does not have something he can do
in service to the people around him, they will just
no longer be in his life. And so when it's like, oh,
Cole is giving me a task that only I can do,
Thank God, I will do this the best my ability,

(40:28):
because that means I am useful to my brother. Even
though Cole has said, hey, bro, I love you and
you're done together. We're in this together and you will
always have a place in my life. And I'm like,
Cole is very aware that Chris is like this and
keeps trying to be like Chris, you don't need to
do that, Chris, this is no all the situation. Chris
is like, yeah, yeah, I know that, lying like a liar. Yeah,

(40:49):
but anyway, So he's.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
When we were talking about the last book and you
were like, Wow, this like this whole dynamic between the
siblings and the parents, it really hits me deep in
my core. I felt with this one fair with everything
because Chris not only is Chris like has anxiety that
he doesn't want to acknowledge and is ignoring it, he
also is like a creative person who has like his

(41:15):
creativeness has just died.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yeah, man, man, did this book hurt? He has been
creatively stifled because of all the stress and anxiety and
difficulty he's been going through. He has not written in
a long while, which is a big factor in like
the stuff he's going through. So Chris gets shipped off

(41:38):
to Saint Patrick's Day and they don't go immediately. They
end up waiting because what happens is they reached out
and was like, hey, our prince wants to go and
wants to apologize to you, and Ireland's like, oh, well,
why don't you wait until March and you come on
down for the whole event, Like you can stay a week,

(41:59):
you can be here for Saint Patrick's Day, you can
experience the whole thing as like a big gesture or something.
And so Chris is all set up to have a
week long stay in this random castle in the middle
of nowhere, Ireland, outside of Dublin, uh dream or outside

(42:21):
of Cork. I can't remember what they said, Well, you
go to town, but they go. He goes dream. He
goes to this palace castle not really palace, there's a difference.
He goes to this castle to meet the royal family
and to give his apology and to Snoop.

Speaker 3 (42:38):
So the press is there when he gets there. Yes,
he's there with Wren.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Cole is not with him because Cole is like.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
He has to do New Santa stuff.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
He has to do stand to stuff. He's meeting with
the with the Winter Collective and Chris is like, no, no, no,
I got this. I don't need you.

Speaker 3 (42:53):
I got this, and Wren is like, I packed all
your stuff and everything is labeled for day of.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
The week, like I will make sure that you do
not fail this. Yeah, but immediately things are not how
we expected.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
No, he gets there, the press is there.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
Uh, the King is not. The king is not. King
is not there.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
Lachlan is there and he is like very much aware that.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Like.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
So, the the story they're going with is that Lachlan
and Chris are friends and they were just they were
doing funny pranks on each other. It was a harmless,
scoofy little prank yeah, so now they have to pretend
as if they're good friends. Yes, And it's not just
lachlanin it's also his two sisters.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Are they pronounced okay?

Speaker 1 (43:32):
So there's his two sisters. There's his middle sister. The
next youngest is Fanula Fanula okay, who is referred to
as Finn. Yes, and then there is the last one,
which is Chevon Chevon. I am aware that how Chavon
is spelled is nothing like how we would pronounce that,
but that is how it's pronounced, Yeah, Chavon. Irish names
are weird because also I did not realize that Shirsha

(43:53):
was spelled that way for a very long time. The
way that we pronounce certain words, in the way that
they pronounce certain words, like with the letters and this
sounds is very different, like between Irish and English. Yeah.
So Finula and Chavon are the two younger siblings of Lachlan.
They're the princesses of Saint Patrick's Day. All three of
them are there to receive Chris, and they do so graciously,

(44:14):
though it's like gritted teeth graciously where there is like
an unspoken era of violence between at least Lachlin and Chris.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yeah, where Finn is also sour.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
She's hostile.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
She's hostile, but the the you're gonna have to help
Chavin is very much like, hi, how are You's lovely
for you to be here, Like she's very she's trying
to be gracious about it. She's trying to be gracious, to
be normal about it. There's a there's a tense meeting
when in front of the press where like, uh, Chris

(44:46):
is like apologizing and Lachlan like whispers into his ear
like not good enough. And there's there's like a back
and forth where it's like Chris is like, you don't
think that's good enough? Fine, and he goes on like
off script, uh, and is very shady about it.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, because it starts with him just being like standard apology.
This was a prank between friends. It was nothing like
it's being you know, presented in the media and I'm
here to just say that, you know. It was like
it was a silly prank between friends and I'm very sorry,
and Lachlan strong arms him into giving more of an

(45:23):
apology because he feels like that's not enough. Yeah, And
Chris is like, oh, I am so humbled by Prince
Lachlan's gracious, you know, attitude and his he's so caring
and kind, and he's laying it on that. He's laying
it on so thick, and it's very passive aggressive. Yeah,
like if you just take the words and you understand,

(45:45):
you have like the face value understanding that these guys
are friends, sure, it's doesn't seem weird, but like if
you know the extra layer of like this is a
hostile relationship, then it's very much like he's trying to
talk smack about this dude. And he says something about
like Lachlin was just a witless, knowledgeless he was just

(46:07):
like a stupid, innocent bystander. Basically, that's like the basically
what he says. It's like it's partly is what he says. Yeah,
he doesn't stay stupid, but he he said he says
witless and is like, oh, sorry, that's not the word
I meant. He said something else. But it's like he's
obviously like yeah, he's obviously he's sewing shade for sure,
but but trying to make it seem like Lachlin was

(46:28):
innocent to everything happened, which he was. Yeah, they were
just having a disagreement. They both just happened to like
press each other's but buttons of violence. Yeah, aggression button
where like very much if you know either of them.
Everyone gets the vibe and Cole mentions later after seeing
the photos like, oh, you like hate each other, like

(46:49):
there's a there is aggression in these photos. You're smiling
but it's not happy. No, Yeah, so Chris settles it.
They finish up the reports, the press, the press, like
my brain stopped. Yeah, they finish up the press conference. Yeah,
they go inside immediately. Where's the king exactly, where's the king?

(47:11):
Where's your staff? Yeah? Where's everyone? Because like, isn't freaking
pay Patrick Saint Patrick's day? It's like this week? Yeah,
it's is it literally just the three of you in
your butler? Is that it? And they're like yeah, that's it?
And Finula is so angry at Chris. She makes like
the most comments about him being like this pretentious Welsh bag,

(47:32):
like douchebag who you know, uh is he's rich and
entitled and he doesn't know or care about anybody else
and he's just like living off of the stolen joy
and valor of other of our holidays. It's like there's
a lot of like misplaced aggression happening here.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
Chris is like trying to be like, hey, you're not wrong,
but also we are actively trying to make it better.
But the problem is this conversation is happening over dinner
in Ireland and Chris cannot hold his liquor.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Nope, and he's being given a lot of whiskey.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
He's being given a lot of whiskey because he is
like trying to just sip it.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
He's not really a whiskey.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
Guy anyway, but he doesn't want to cause another incident,
so he's trying to just kind of let it go.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
But Lachlin is just like.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Throwing him back, and Chris is like, challenge it is.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
They're like making aggressive eye contact and Lochwin does seem
to be goating him yeah, and it becomes like a
thing where it's a it's an impromptu drinking contest. But again,
Chris is a lightweight who doesn't like whiskey, so he's
knocking whiskeys back and in suffering the whole time, but
refuses to quote unquote back down, even as like he's

(48:39):
becoming progressively more drunk over the course of his conversation.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
And at a certain point they're like, oh, there's there's
an event tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
There's a fun run.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
Yeah, and Chris is and they're like, Chris, you probably
don't want to have anything to do with that, and
he's like, it's a five K fun run, Like I
can do that. That's fine, that's nothing. I'm in the
gym all the time.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Chris is, in fact hoping. Chris is very swell. He's
a jim Bro and he refers to it as like
his most healthy coping mechanism or something. Later on, he
says something to the effect of like when I pretend
that I think lifting weights is good for me, where
it's like Chris has several levels of self delusion where

(49:17):
he does not actually like being like strong, he doesn't
like going to the gym. He just wants to be swol.
He likes being like muscular, and so he goes to
the gym and he pretends that it's a coping mechanism
for everything else, and it is an outlet. But it's like,
my guy, you need a therapist anyway. So five k's nothing.

(49:38):
He can do a five K. He can do a
five K. So but he's drunk now yes, and Harry.

Speaker 3 (49:43):
There's like a really awkward dinner that is mostly in silence,
and eventually it's like, all right, we got.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
We gotta get this lightweight to bed, and Lachlan's like,
I'll show him to his room. And I think that
there's more that's said at dinner. I can't remember exactly
at though, No, not a whole lot. There is, like
very much we're setting up that Chavon is kind of
like the nice sister of Finula, hates his guts and
thinks he's an entitlered prick. Lachlan seems to want to
kill him dead, and it's mutual they both want to

(50:12):
kill each other dead. Yeah, and Chris keeps asking like,
what's up with your holiday? Where is everybody? What's up
with that?

Speaker 3 (50:19):
There's also a little bit of like Lachlan teases him
about uh leperchauns and it's like are leperchrons real? And
he's like, no, they're not fucking real.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
They keep going back and forth on that where he's
like he yeah, they're not real, but he keeps joking
about how like, oh, well, maybe I'm lying to you,
maybe they are real to spook Chris because Chris is
for some reason afraid of leprechauns.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Yeah, and I'm like, my guy.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
My sweet man, you need therapy so bad, so bad.
So Lachlan is like, I'm gonna show you the other
guest room. Uh.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
And I don't remember how they get on the conversation,
but basically, at some point they they pass a library.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
Yes, there's the family libry.

Speaker 3 (51:00):
And Chris is just like dazed, drunk and just wanders
into it.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
As Lachlan's trying to show him to his room. Chris
nuts basically like he sees his library. It is the
platonic ideal of a gothic library and a castle. Yea.
And he is so into it. He's like, oh my god,
I would just live in this room. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
Yeah, and he I think at this point he lets
slip accidentally because he's drunk, that he was originally a
creative writing major for a semester and then he switched out.
But then Lachlan's like, why'd you switch out?

Speaker 1 (51:32):
And he's like, not of your concern. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:35):
So Lachlan takes him into the library and it's like,
first of all, you can't sleep here, but and he's like,
here are and he starts handing Chris like classics written
by Irish authors, and Chris is very like actually put
off by this. He's like fuck you, like, of course
you're gonna just make me read these potential pretentious assholes,

(51:56):
and he like doesn't take them. Like they get him
up to his room, he leaves the books behind because
he's like fuck you about it. There's more to that later,
but he leaves them behind. He gets up to his room,
Lachlan leaves him with like, uh, water and aspirin to
be like, hey, you shouldn't have a hangover.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
He doesn't do it immediately.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
He doesn't do it immediately.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
So what happens is with that whole bit because Lachlin
is like actually kind of trying to be chill about
the recommendation, at least it seemed to me. When he's
giving them the books. Yeah, he's like, oh, well you
can't be staying in i Aland without reading our the
best Irish authors or whatever, and yeah, Chris is like,
of course you think that. I like, you're some pretentious asshole.
You think that I haven't read the classics, You think

(52:39):
I don't know nothing, think the classics are the.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Be all and all of literature.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
Yeah, exactly, like screw you. And then, man, do I
have a lot of thoughts on that too, And Lachlan
is like, well, drink some water, you lightweight, and Chris
is like, screw you. Aa doy what I want? And
Locklan's like, you clearly don't know how hangovers work. You
need to drink some water. And Chris is like, yeah, whatever, yeah,
and he kind of he's still drunk, but he does

(53:04):
call Chris, call Cole. Yeah, he facetimes Coal and Cole
can tell immediately first he's like, kind of He's like, God,
the freaking the self hatred's coming back. All of it
was gone when I was drinking. I wasn't feeling that bad,
like I was free in light and whatever, and now
it's coming back and I'm becoming more sober and oh god,
I made so many mistakes and I sound so stupid. Yeah,

(53:26):
he calls Coal and he's like, oh wait, but what
even time is it in Greenland? I don't even know
it's in the morning there. And Cole's like, hey, Bud,
whoa you look bad? What's up with that? You're a mess?
You're what's going on there? And Chris is like, I
got super drunk. I tried to out drink this Irish man.
I tried to outdrink the Crown Prince of Saint Patrick's

(53:49):
day at a whiskey contest and calls like the middle
again because this is important to me, called in the
middle of a day with He's you're in the theater room.
Uh huh and uh.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
There's like a little bit of banter. Yes, there's a
little bit of banter that Chris is like, what is
going on? Because it's like Hex is like, don't worry
about interrupting us, and Cole is very much like I
picked this for you. And Chris is like, what is
happening here? And it turns out that they were watching Hannibal.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
They're watching NBC's Hannibal. They're watching the show Hannibal with
Mad's Michaelson. And it turns out Cole is like, I
thought this would be the perfect genre for you.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
It turns out that.

Speaker 3 (54:32):
Cole isn't like the biggest fan of horror, but he's
trying to like bond with his boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
And Hex does like horror. He does not like Gore.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
No one is in fact squeamish, and this is is
this relevant to the rest of the book. No, but
it is. I think it's funny. It is very funny
that they're watching Hannibal. It is something that comes back
up again later in like a throwaway like goofs, and
it is something that Chris puts in his mind is
like hex is afraid of Gore. I will remember this.
He is wrong, remember this. He has wronged me so

(55:01):
many times. I will remember this. Yeah. But no, they're
having like an early morning Hannibal date, which is the
dumbest thing. It's it's so gay and funny. Anyway, So
they're like, hey, Bud, what's you want to talk about
it Chris? And Chris is like, no, it's fine, but
I also know I'm stupid and I did a bunch
of stuff and I messed up a cause in international
incident and I'm ruined everything and I'm the worst. And

(55:23):
Cole's like, okay, man, okay, Bud, let's calm down a second.
You're fine, You've done a something wrong. You're great, it's fine,
and he explains, like, well what happened, And Chris explains
dinner and he explains the whole bit with like how
much Lachlan's an asshole? And how he was trying to
push these books on him, and Cole is like, okay,
but he was probably trying to like, how do you

(55:44):
know those weren't like his favorite books.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
He's probably just trying to like relate to you, dude.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
Yeah, he's probably trying to make a connection. And it's be.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
Easier to find out anything about what's happening if you
just like, you know.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
We're friends with friends. Yeah, you were friendly with this guy. Yeah.
And he's like, oh god, yeah, you're right. Probably dang it,
I ruined it again. Yeah, And he's just feeling all
kinds of bad. But he gets off this conversation because
he Chris is like, or Cole is like, you can
just come home. Ye like, if this is not working out,

(56:16):
if you're not having a good time, it'll be fine.
I will figure it out. You can come home. It's okay.
And Chris is like, no, no, no, shut up. I
will not I will do this. I can do this.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
This is my job.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
This is my job, screw and he kind of hangs
up on his brother. Yeah, and then he's like, I'm
going to I'm going to salvage some part of the night.
I am going to see if I can find right
where the merry measure is or their version of it,
because they are not Christmas. So they have I don't know,
a potogold or something. They got something. I'm gonna see

(56:47):
they can find it. Yeah. So Chris goes snooping and
he goes he likes, goes down towards the like He's like,
maybe it's in like the basement. He walks about the
different halls the place for get empty. Yeah, and yes,
he goes down to the basement. He doesn't like basement
because basement's spooky. Basement'spooky and dark.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
Basement spookie. But there is music coming from basement.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
There's the music coming from the basement. What's that about? Yeah,
So it goes to check it out. He finds this
basement room that is basically like I for for some
reason in my brain it was the painting room from
fifty first Dates where it's just like oh white, Yeah,
it's kind of the same thing where it is a
painting studio in the basement. Yeah. And he is standing

(57:28):
in the doorway and he peers in on a curiosity
and he sees Locklin shirtless. He's lock Yes, yeah, referred
to his lock going forward. Yeah, not only shirtless, but
wearing gray sweatpants. Yeah, this may just be the asexual.
I don't get the appeal of the gray sweatpants.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
There's no point in explaining it to you, fair, you
know what.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
I accept that.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Yeah, it's not important. Just know that it is like
a thing.

Speaker 1 (57:54):
I know, it's like the angle of the dangle or
whatever kind of I a little bit.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
Yeah, but I'm also like, there's listen, we could do
this discussion in the Patreon but if you want, and
I can try and explain things to you, I know.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
Otherwise it's not important. That's fair, you know what, valid
And I accept that. But this is devastatingly attracted to Chris.
Chris is like, oh no, he's hot times too, But
also what the hell is he doing? And this man
with music blaring is painting a portrait on this giant canvas.
It takes Chris a second to realize it is a

(58:28):
portrait because the art stile is very abstract and it
doesn't appear that Locke is using a paintbrush. He is
just going out with his hands. He's just like slaping
paint on the thing, and he's covered in paint for
this reason, and Locke turns because Chris is like leaning
in to look and it bumps the door, and Lock

(58:49):
turns and just like screams because he startled, and I
think he just like screams like Jesus Christ or something
like that. Sees Chris at the door and it's like,
why are you down here? And Chris Chris is like, oh,
I was looking for I remember the butler's name. It
starts with a C. I think, hey, it's Colm. Colm. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
He's like I was looking for Colm for a hangover cures.
And he's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Yeah? Why did you come to the basement? Like why
do you though? We put our help in the basement
And Chriss like I heard music playing and Lachlan's like,
of course you did. And he explains that he thinks
that his magic, his his saint Patrick's same magic is
luck based. Is luck based, and it works passively in

(59:32):
that things will happen to them for a desired result,
and in this case he Lachlin thinks that it's bad
luck for him because earlier that day his headphones broke,
so when he was painting, he couldn't listen to his music.
Through his headphones, so he had to listen to music
out loud. Yeah, and that's what drew Christen. And obviously
this is bad luck, right, and Chris is like a

(59:55):
screw you and b that doesn't make any sense. But see,
maybe I don't know, Like that's like you don't know
how other holidays work. I don't know how this works.
It's weird, like I don't like necessarily the idea of
like all of actions being boiled down to luck or
not with magic. But also maybe I don't know. Yeah,
what are you doing? What are you painting? Yeah, and

(01:00:16):
Lachlin explains that he is doing a portrait. It's it's
not anybody he knows. It's a woman, a portrait of
a woman he saw at an event and he just thought, like,
by the way, I thought this was going to be
a thing, it's not. It is literally just someone he saw. Yeah, No,
he doesn't know this woman. Yeah, it's not a big deal.
But it's like he he's been making this series of

(01:00:37):
portraits of people who are like embodying the spirit of Ireland. Yeah,
because freakin' Locke is so Lachlan Patrick is the most
patriotic person I've ever met. I love it. He is
so aggressively like Irish history, culture of Ireland. Let's all
Irish people aren't like that, It's true because of the persecution.

(01:01:00):
The persecution yeah yeah, where they're like, I will love
my culture even harder because you keep trying to kill it. Yeah,
I get it. Fair. He's so aggressively Irish, yeah, or
he is just Irish and also aggressive that yeah. Both.
So he is explaining this though to Chris, and this
is actually like a fairly chill conversation, and he's like, hey,

(01:01:23):
like you want to do you want to paint? Do
you want to do something? Like you can help out
with the art?

Speaker 3 (01:01:29):
Yeah, He's like it's abstract, so if you want to
like help paint like you can. And Chris in his
head is like, this is this is another opportunity to bond,
This is another opportunity for me to do the job.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
I came here for. But it's also owardly.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Like I can't paint, I.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
Will ruin it. I'm not artistic. I'm like a words person,
not a picture person.

Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
And Locke is like, you can't, like, you can't ruin
a painting like it's especially because it's it's abstract.

Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
You can't ruin it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
Yeah, And so Chris like dips his hand into a
paint and then puts it on there.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
He's like all right, and Locke is like, I take
that back. You ruined it because and he explains why
where it's like Chris just made like two dots with
his fingers on the page on the on the canvas
in a blank spot, and when he steps back, he
realizes that like every other stroke on the canvas is
giving this sense of motion, there are no dots. It's

(01:02:19):
all just like curves and lines, and the two dots
stand out really aggressively for that purpose. And Lochwin explains this,
and Chris tries to fix it and kind of can't,
and he gets teased for it, and it becomes like
a little bit of Chris taking that again as an attack,
Like to me, it was quit that Lockwin was just

(01:02:40):
kind of like trying to rip him a little bit
about it. Yeah, but Chris is like primed to think
this man, this man wants me dead. Yes, yes, but
I can't remember. Also, if in this conversation they talk
about like the book thing, I don't know if that
happen this conversation. The only thing that I remember happening here.
That is definitely significant, is that Lachlan's like, all right,

(01:03:02):
I'm gonna help you paint this. Yeah, and he like.

Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
Fucking ghosts it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
He dips like he yeah, he holds Chris's hand in
his hand with the paint on it. Like that's what
Chelsea means when she says she he ghosts it. Yeah
the movie the movie ghost standing behind him and helping
guiding him.

Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
Through painting, and uh, Chris is having a by panic
about it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
He is, He's got the most confused boner ever, Yeah
about it, because he's like he's an asshole. He is hot.
That's really hot though, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
Yeah, and also this feels really nice.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
But also he's also trying to like relax Chris by
like massaging his shoulder.

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
He's trying to he's trying to chill him out because
he's like, this man's got so much tension in him. Yeah.
But also Chris is like he may be stealing from Christmas. Yeah.
There's a lot of conflicting of emotions.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Coming on here, happening in my head right now, and
I don't I'm wound up so tight, and I'm also
still a little bit drunk, still a little bit drunk.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
Not entirely sober. Yeah, And so he runs away.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
He runs away.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
He doesn't just like be like dip with no word.
He makes an excuse to leave, and it is like, well,
I gotta go to bed early morning tomorrow. Bye, and
freaking lock One's like drink water and Chris like screw
and he goes up to his bedroom. I think he
does drink water though, before you he drinks a little
bit of water. Yeah, he drinks a little bit of water,
which brings us to the day of the fun run,

(01:04:31):
which we will talk about after a brief word from
our sponsors a hole, and we return. We returned morning
at the Patrick Castle. H Chris is hungover. It's bad.
He is not having a good time.

Speaker 3 (01:04:48):
He also thinks that Locke is like fucking with him
because he wakes up and there's like a full English breakfast.

Speaker 1 (01:04:56):
Yeah, and he wants to vomit. It's this thing which
is like I'm like, my dude, how stupid are you?
Because he's I get that he is nauseous by the
smell because the strong food smell I can absolutely get
if you're already queasy. He's also not normally, Like he
doesn't normally drink. I don't drink either, but even I
know that, like, you need to eat food, you need

(01:05:17):
to help. Part of the reason, well, it doesn't have
to be fatty, that's the kind of myth. Yeah, it's
just part of the reason that he is queasy is
because he has no food in his stomach. Yeah, that's
a part of it. And so it's like, my guy. Yeah,
he wakes up, he feels horrible. There's this smell coming
from somewhere, and he goes outside his room when he

(01:05:37):
finds that there's like a tray of food that's been
left out and a little note from Lachlan that says
like eat stupid. Yeah, and he brings it inside and
it is a full English and he thinks this is sabotage. Yeah.
I almost vomit because the smell is so strong. This
man's trying to kill me. It's like, no, dumb, idiot boy.
He does drink water a little bit, yeah, not enough.

(01:06:00):
He kind of is not drinking it out of spite, Yeah,
which I can kind of get. It's this thing where
he every time like they're talking about him drinking water
having a hangover. Locke is like, drink some water about it,
and he's like, why do you care how hydrated? I
am shut about how hydrate? Stop telling me drink water?
And he's so we all.

Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
Do that to each other all the time. I don't, No,
I mean like in the group chat, we're always like
drink water.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
Yeah, well that part, yes, we do what I mean,
I'm I was saying, like when do we when do
we say like, no, I'm not going to justicipy you.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
Sorry, I met the part where you're telling someone else
to drink water.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
We do that a lot, Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Hydrate Yeah, because all of us forget.

Speaker 1 (01:06:43):
So he gets ready for the day. He takes a shower,
He like gets ready and wears comically inappropriate clothing for
the for the weather. Of course, he's wearing like shorts
and a T shirt. And then it's like oh, he's like,
fun run it's March in scott or now Scotland, Ireland.
It's gonna be freaking freezing. And he goes downstairs and
he realizes how freaking freezing it's gonna be, but also

(01:07:04):
spie but also spiite. He doesn't want to, you know,
like go back up and change Locke one shows up
and it's like, is that all you're wearing? And Chris
is like, I'll rip your throat out with my teeth.
And he's like did you drink water? And Chris is like,
I will end your bloodline right here, right now, and
Log forces him like gets water. I think he grabs

(01:07:26):
the butler or whatever and it's like, go get me
water and then throws it at Chris bodily, but he
like is it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:31):
Not until they get in the car that he realizes
he also hasn't eaten anything. He's like, are you fucking stupid?

Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
Yeah, because they they while traveling, He's like, did you
actually eat, because like you're you're so nauseous still, and
Chris is like no, the smell was horrible. You monster.
You try to sabotage me. And he just like shoves
a granola bar at him and he's like stop it,
you idiot boy.

Speaker 3 (01:07:51):
But that's like another thing is that one they aren't
just teleporting there, which is weird to Chris, but also
two Lock is driving the four of them.

Speaker 1 (01:08:01):
It's his car. Yeah, they don't have a driver, they
don't have like a chauffeur. They're taking a car. And
this is weird out because like they in the foyer
when they're getting ready to leave, it's Chris Chavon of Finula.
I almost said Finola, but that's not correct. Finn Finula, Yeah,
and Lock and all of them are like dressed up
for the weather being cold, except for Chris, who's just

(01:08:23):
gonna suffer. And they're like, oh yeah, Lock's gonna drive
us over and it's gonna be like two hours. And
Chris is like, why aren't we just teleporting there? And
he's this like.

Speaker 3 (01:08:32):
Kind of internal monologue where he's like, well, they're not
as well off as Christmas is. Maybe they want to
save their magic for the teleportation, Like that makes sense,
but like why are we driving ourselves over?

Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
Like that's weird? Why is there only one?

Speaker 3 (01:08:47):
But like he's like, look, I understand, Like in his head,
he's like I understand that this is definitely like Saint
Patrick's Day is not as big of a holiday as Christmas.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Is, for sure, but it's still a pretty big holiday.

Speaker 3 (01:08:57):
Like there's no reason that they wouldn't have the joy
or like the resources, the resources to be able to
have a full staff in the castle at the very least.
But even if we're not going to use it for teleportation,
like you should have a full staff.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
And what's really weird is he can kind of get like,
obviously they don't have the resources available to do all
this stuff, but no one is explaining him to him
why yeah, And he's asking and they're just kind of like,
shut up. They're not answering. They're stonewalling him. Even Chemon
is not answering why they don't have these resources. Yeah.
And so they all file into walks car and they're

(01:09:34):
going to drive two hours to this place where they're
having the fun run. And he gets a granola bar
shoved at him to eat Christas, which he does eat spitefully,
and he's like, I hate that it works. I hate
that I do feel better yep after I have drink
water and eating this granola bar. How dare you be right? Yep?
And and there's a little bit of like banter in

(01:09:56):
the car. Chevon is once again like nice to him. Finn.
I think that at one point because there's this unifying
experience of dunking on your sibling where both like Chevon
and Finn dunk on lock and then when Chris does
something to dunk on lock, they're both just like yeah, yeah,
so they like him for that. But when they they're

(01:10:18):
talking about how only Chris, only Chris and Locke are
going to be doing the running. Yeah, Finn and Chavon
are there, but they're not going to run. They're mostly
there like network and hangout. Finn is like on I
think it's Finn who's like on the board of the charity. Yeah,
she's having to organize the event and also has friends
there I think, but mostly it's just like there to

(01:10:39):
help organize things. Yeah, and Chavon is there to chill
and vibe and have a good time. Because this isn't like,
this isn't just a royal event like we had a
lot of those in Nightmo before Christmas where it was
like a lot of the events were like the other
people that were there were also magic users and therefore
it was just like you're you're being treated.

Speaker 2 (01:10:59):
Quite high up in this event, but that's not what's happened.

Speaker 3 (01:11:03):
This is like a normal fund like this, this is
a Saint Patrick's Day fun run, but.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
It's not exclusively a monarchy event. However, Chris does notice
that there that the whole event is branded.

Speaker 2 (01:11:17):
Yes, the whole event is branded by this whiskey brand
pretty aggressively, pretty aggressively that he does.

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
Remember when he was looking over like the Saint Patrick's
Day Royal family is owned by the current king. Yes,
and he's like, okay, that's weird and all right.

Speaker 1 (01:11:35):
He asks about it and Locke is kind of like, oh, yeah,
Malachi sponsors all of these events, and he says it
like distastefully, spitefully. Yeah, it's clear that he has beef.
And I'm like, yes, sandy capitalist message because it is
messed up that the monarch of this you know, it's
not the country, I guess, but he is the monarchyla holiday.

(01:11:57):
He has some level of power and influence, is able
to also have a business. Yeah, that's like pretty thriving
apparently like he's he was listed early in the book
they mentioned that he is like one of the most
successful Irish entrepreneurs like in the entire country. Yeah, which
maybe redundant to say, but still, yeah, he is sponsoring

(01:12:18):
the fun run. It is a mixture of mundane and
you know, non mundane people. But when they arrive, Chris
also asks where's your court? Yeah, like where where is everybody?
Like it's not just you? Who is the monarchy of
Saint Patrick's. You have courtiers, you have other families who
are part of your your subjects. Where are they? None

(01:12:40):
of them can be seen. It's literally just like them
and a bunch of mundane people, but also some reporters.
But because this is a mixed event in the sense
that there are people who don't know about the Holiday Royalty.
But after the way taking photos of everyone, the reporter
they have to be chill about it. Yeah, they have
to pretend like they're not us filming these specific guys,

(01:13:03):
and they're not just trying to get information on these
They're like trying to blend. And here's the thing. Chris,
with his undiagnosed anxiety disorder, is like thinking the worst
of everything. So Locke goes off to do something, and
Chris is.

Speaker 3 (01:13:16):
Immediately like I have to follow him because he's gonna
do something shady to.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
Like fuck with me. They do have a little bit
of an argument. I think it's because like Locke is
trying to advise him about some stuff, but also tell
him about some stuff like not really he's Chris is
asking questions about like where is your magic, where's your servants,
where's your court Locke is stonewalling to a certain extent,
which is frustrating Chris. Yeah. And then Locke is also

(01:13:42):
like teasing him and making fun of him and riling
him up, and also like trying what I'm looking for.
He's trying to look after Chris again. Yeah, he's trying
to do things that are like I am trying to
make ensure you're well being here.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
That also, when Chris woke up that morning, he woke
up to a bunch of text messages from his mom
and a photo. That's right, it was a photo of
his mom and dad, and his mother being like, I
can't believe you haven't responded to me. Why aren't you
talking to me? Like you're such a you're you're behaving petulantly.

(01:14:20):
Why can't you both be happy for me? And uh
and then called or Chris does reply with saw the
pick you look happy and that's.

Speaker 1 (01:14:30):
It, which she doesn't. She doesn't look happy in the picture, yeah,
which is kind of a thing where it's like it's
a it's a picture of his parents together in some
like you know, tropical space, and like he his dad
looks happy, but his mom looks just like kind of pissed. Yeah,
and usually does. It seems like like she rarely she
looks good always, but she never looks happy. And that's

(01:14:51):
the thing that like Chris makes note of that has
kind of been the way throughout his entire life, even
when the family was together.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
Yeah, and then so part of so yes, you're right, sorry,
Locke and him have a sort of conversation because he's
been getting friendly with with Chavn.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
That's right. He's joking around Chavon and Locke is like,
stop farting with my sister. Yeah, And Chris is like,
I'm not of Chris, like, what are you talking about.
I Am not going to afford with you. I'm not
forording with your sister, to the point where he's almost like, well,
I kind of want to now just to spite you. Yeah,
And he kind of says that directly to Locke. Yeah.
And they also have a conversation about is it now

(01:15:31):
that they have Yeah, it is. While they're waiting in
line to register, he has a conversation about like because
he says like, I'm not dating, I'm not forting with Chavon.
Chavon's not my type. And Locke's like, oh, she's not
good enough for you. Yeah, and Chris is like, so
you're mad if I am fororted with her, but you're
also mad when I say I wouldn't like what's up,
my guy? And then Locke's like, well, what is your type?

(01:15:51):
Then I bet it's like pretentious, you know, asshole rich,
rich people. And Chris is like, I have no idea,
and yeah, Chris is vulnerable for a second. He's like,
I legitimately don't know, and he actually opens up about
how he thought he was in love with his friend
and kind of deluded himself into thinking. And this is

(01:16:11):
the point where I got a little bit more involved
with this storyline, with this thought process. Yeah, because earlier
I said that I wasn't really satisfied the explanation of like, oh,
Chris just suddenly realized mid confession that he didn't love Iris. Yeah,
in going deeper into how he feels about it, it
did make more sense to me, And I did warm
up to that as a concept where Chris is saying, like,

(01:16:34):
I thought I was in love with her, but it
was really just the story of it. It was just
the idea of her, because she was so perfect and
she was so nice, and he mentioned before that like
she feels calm and in control and safe, which is
what he's also been chasing with anyone else he's ever dated, Yeah,
which have also all failed, Yes, because he's never actually

(01:16:55):
been interested in dating it. Yeah. And he's also like,
for the longest time, he was like, oh, they failed
because I was in love with Iris, And now he's like,
or they failed because it's not it's not actually what
I want I want, Yeah, because he did. He was
looking for somebody who was like he sort of felt
a sense of awe from because they just seem so

(01:17:16):
calm and safe and put together. Yeah, And so he
was like, so, I like, I don't know what I
want coming out of like coming out of that realizing
that I didn't love Iris and this whole awkward thing.
I just didn't know what I actually wanted and I
don't know what my type is. And Locke's like, oh, okay,
because it's like, how do you freaking you know that's
open vulnerability. How do you respond to that? Yeah, And

(01:17:39):
Chris responds to him. I remember noting this because Chris
then is like, well, what's your type? I bet it's
you know, like, uh, I can't even remember. He said
something about like open, so I bet I can find out.
Oh yes, I'm sure. He makes some joke about how
it's like, oh so, like are you in love with
like all of the pretentious of like pretty boy asshole

(01:18:00):
whatever's at at school? Then? Or do you go for
those kind of ones?

Speaker 3 (01:18:05):
Says what's Prince Lachlan's type? Snobbish with endless credit and
with and endless credit cards and lock chuckles dead on
spoiled Cambridge lads with trust fund money to burn. I
don't buy that for a second, as I abrous go
up because you think I'm spoiled and stuck up, I explained,
And you treat me like you want to strangle me
with my own intestines half the time lovely image that
so I honestly, God cannot imagine you giving the time

(01:18:27):
of day to a guy.

Speaker 1 (01:18:27):
Who's spoiled and superficial.

Speaker 3 (01:18:29):
I think the stress of being in a relationship with
someone like that would give you an ulcer.

Speaker 1 (01:18:33):
I remember then.

Speaker 3 (01:18:34):
He says, this is the important part. Oh yes, he says,
I'm Irish boyo. Talking shite is how we flirt exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:18:39):
Yeah. But I also remember noting this because it was
like confirmed gay Yeah, Lachlan Patrick confirmed gay because when
he was talking about his type, he immediately was like, yep,
spoiled Cambridge boys yea, or Cambridge lads. Yeah, So it's
like his type. It's like I am I like dudes. Yeah.
And Chris, I don't know if you'd like fully registered

(01:19:00):
or just doesn't care. He's just kind of like goes
along with it, which is fine, But for me, I
was like confirmed gay, got it, confirm interest locked in
because Chris and Chris and Cole and Iris are all by.
Chris is more fluid, he says, with his value. He
doesn't want to he doesn't want to be labeled by.
He doesn't want to be he doesn't want to be labeled.
But he doesn't really care about the person that he like.

(01:19:22):
The gender of the person ends up with, that's not
really factor for me.

Speaker 3 (01:19:24):
Which upsets which upsets Cole because he wants them to
be all referred to as bye bye bye.

Speaker 1 (01:19:29):
He would prefer that, Yes, he wants the goof. I
love him so yeah. Lochwinn confirms like being being like
teasing or not teasing, but just like you know, riling
each other up is how the Irish flirt ye, which
sends Chris later like, there's a bit of a delayed thing.

Speaker 2 (01:19:46):
Yeah, he doesn't register that and does.

Speaker 1 (01:19:48):
Immediately there's a slight delavery then he's like, wait, was
he forded with me the whole time? It's like a
twenty four hour delay. I think it happened. It's a
twelve hour delay. It's much sooner than that because it
happens after the race. It happens after the race, but
the race does not take twelve hours.

Speaker 2 (01:20:04):
No, but I'm thinking it's not until they get back Castle.

Speaker 1 (01:20:07):
When they get in the car. Oh, and then before
that is when they get in the car. Okay, so
let's go through. Let's go let's go through it, Chelsea. Okay.
So what happens is they get in to a little
tiff uh and Lachlan goes off and Chris is like,
how dare he leave me alone? I'm going to go
find him and confront him about this, and he kind

(01:20:27):
of semi stocks Lachlan going through a bunch of like
there's vendors at this event, there's artisans. It's like a
it's like a fun run but also like a little fair. Yeah,
there are there's food, there's artists, there's a bunch of
different and he's going around and he's he's visiting all
of them, and Chris thinks he's doing this for publicity
to get his his reputation reputation better. But he notices, like, wait,

(01:20:51):
but there's no there's no tabloids around, no one's following him,
no one's following him. So he's just this is just him.

Speaker 2 (01:20:57):
So he like follows him because he's still curious.

Speaker 1 (01:20:59):
Yeah, he sees him talking to a bunch of the
different vendors, a bunch of the different artists.

Speaker 3 (01:21:05):
So although I do have to point out because I
just saw this the slogan of Green Hills Distillery, which
is the name of the whiskey brand, Tradition, heritage legacy.

Speaker 1 (01:21:17):
Oh yeah, And Chris is like, does all mean the
same thing? Was the same thing? Yeah, it's stupid.

Speaker 3 (01:21:23):
Anyway, So they're they're gonna get to the fun run,
and Chris is like, I have to beat Lock.

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
I have to beat him.

Speaker 1 (01:21:28):
I have to. I cannot let him win this fun
run over me. And in the similar way with the
drinking contests that they had, then I pore the impromptu
drinking contest. It doesn't start out with the intent of
it being like a crazy race. But when they start running,
it's obviously it's a it's a five k, so you
don't just sprint. But Chris picks up his pace to

(01:21:51):
match Lochlin, and the second that he does, Locke is like, well,
I'm gonna be faster than News, so he picks his
pace up to pass Chris, and that just keeps happening
to the point where they are both sprinting out like
at their top speed to try and better each other.
And they pass a water station and Lock picks up

(01:22:13):
a water cup and Chris doesn't, and Locke is like,
what the fuck is wrong with you? Drink water? Why
don't you drink water? You stupid man?

Speaker 3 (01:22:19):
Yeah, and Chris is like, I'm fine, I'm fine, and
then it's that Lock smiles, I have.

Speaker 1 (01:22:24):
No Lock laughs lost. Something happens and lock Wise. It's
very reminiscent to Niover Chistmas, because that's exactly the same
thing we're echoing. We're having echoes here because at night
over Chistmas they had a sled Racey and freaking Cole
wiped the sled out because Hex laughed and he got
so distracted by him laughing that they took the turn

(01:22:47):
too powered and Hex fell out. In this case, Chris
is racing full race with Lock. Yeah. Lock laughs, and
Chris gets so distracted by it his gay little heart
can't take it that he crips. Paul's literally head over
ass down a hill, down a hill. He on a

(01:23:07):
paved street, trips and then rolls down a hill. And
I'm just like, I see what you did, Sarah, you
with your You're like, if there's not if the third
book happens and there is not some kind of very
homosexual race where somebody laughs and the other person gets
bodily harmed, I like, it's not a theme anymore. We
have to do three for Yeah, So Chris wipes out.

Speaker 3 (01:23:28):
I do enjoy though at the end of this book
that Cold points out, it's like this, this whole.

Speaker 2 (01:23:33):
This is happening again.

Speaker 1 (01:23:35):
This is the same. It's happening again. Yeah, or I
think Iris is the one who's like, fuck, it's happening again.
Chris wipes out, and immediately Locke is like, oh God,
you're injured. Because Chris is not like horribly enterting break anything.
He didn't break anything but dash in his head. He
did hit his head he is bleeding from several places, yeah,

(01:23:56):
And Locke is freaking out and Chris is like, no, no,
I'm fine, and Locke is like, shut up, lie back down,
you might have a head wound. Get the doctor's talking
to people. He goes back over to he picks Chris up, like,
helps him stand.

Speaker 3 (01:24:09):
And just because it does come back later, so Locke
helps him stand and he says out loud, he didn't
mean he doesn't mean to say it out loud, but
he says, spare claws beefs it at Cork Race, saved
by Lucky Chimes in the Shining Armor.

Speaker 2 (01:24:24):
And Locke is like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:24:27):
And Chris is like, that's the headline that the paparazzi
will write when they see us like this, and he's like,
don't fucking worry about that shit. It doesn't matter. So
they leads him back over to the water station where
they're able to get the doctor that's on call in
case people get injured, and they're able to get in
this little cart and they're gonna go over to the
medical tent so that Chris can get help, and Locke's like, okay,

(01:24:47):
I'll go with you he's going to get into the tent. Also,
Chris is also having a gay panic again because Locke
is so strong and he's close and everywhere that he's touching, ooh,
it feels warm and kind of good. Maybe I don't know,
but I'm in hard denial about finding this dude hot,
so I'm not gonna like dwell on it too much
except it's kind of nice. But the cart comes over, yeah,

(01:25:09):
and Locke is like helping Chris with his wounds when
the doctor comes over, when they get to the tent.
When they get to the tent, yeah, when the cart
comes over to pick them up, and Locke is getting
in the tent also, and Chris is like, no, why
are you you finish the race and Long's like no,
I'm going with you to the tent. And Chris is like, well,
I'm I can keep running a I don't need to stop.

(01:25:30):
But also even if I stop running, you don't need
to and Locke is again like, shut up, I'm coming
with you to tent. End of don't fight with me,
the end of story. No, it actually so hang on
because I'm looking at it right now. He's helping him
clean up his wounds while the doctor is getting there, okay,
and then they get when the doctor gets there, they
get in the car or he looks over. Chris is like,
you're lucky you don't have a concussion, Like specifically, you're

(01:25:51):
lucky you don't have a concussion. Uh do you want
to ride in the cart with me to get to
the finish line.

Speaker 3 (01:25:56):
And that's when Chris is like, wait, no, you should
keep running so and Locke is.

Speaker 1 (01:26:01):
Like, no, it's fine. So they go to the end
where Chris can get his wounds more like properly dressed. Yeah,
there is like a little first aid kid, I'm remembering. Yeah,
there's like a little first shay kit at the water station.
But they go to the finish line where the medical
tent is and Locke is helping Chris. He's like, Chris

(01:26:22):
is feeling very tender about it because Locke is touching
him very gently and taking care of him and all
of this stuff. And I'm picking up the vibes. I'm like,
got it, got it. There's some like you know, there's
some care happening here. It's like the aftercare vibe. I
see what's happening. I understand, yes, Because Chris is suddenly
realizing it's lot worried about me. Yeah, what's happening? But

(01:26:46):
mostly I feel like, a, yes, is he worried about me?
But be he's taking care of me? Yes, he is
having a gay panic about it because nobody does that. Yeah,
because Chris kind of doesn't let them with coal or
they don't try with his parents. Yeah, his parents kind
of just ignore him, or they're actively angry with him.
And he tries to take care of Cole and won't

(01:27:08):
let Cole reverse it. Yeah, So nobody takes care of
Chris in this way, and so he's kind of like
feeling very soft and tender about it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:27:16):
And then and then they're at the finish line waiting
for the rest of the racers to come across it,
and a fight breaks out on the finish line and
the two sisters Finn I'm never gonna remember Chevon because.

Speaker 1 (01:27:31):
Let me tell you the way it's spelled, absolutely not.

Speaker 3 (01:27:34):
Finn and Chevon are tell Locke like, we got this,
don't worry about it, and so Locke goes on ahead
to try and break up the fight, and Chris notices
he uses like a little bit of magic but really
not much, and it's like why is a fight even
happening because like any event with the Royals, they're supposed
to be joy And he asked Chevon and Finn, like
what the fuck's going on? Like, please tell me what
the fuck's going on? And they finally they do tell him,
like our uncle's an hour. Chevan says, our uncle's an asshole,

(01:27:56):
and Finn is like upset because.

Speaker 1 (01:27:58):
Finn doesn't want her to say anything, yeah, because she's
still very like anti Chris. But Chavon is like, no,
he deserves to know. I'm gonna tell him because also
he may be able to help exactly, because Locke needs
an ally to help him. Everybody's been working against him.
Nobody on the outside knows. So I'm gonna tell Chris
because it seems like Chris wants.

Speaker 3 (01:28:17):
To help actually, so Chavon tells him like, basically, what's
happened is that our uncle took over, and we're not
really sure if it was like when it happened, if
it was really a willing transfer of power like we
think that Locke was kind.

Speaker 1 (01:28:34):
Of well, it happened immediately in the wake of their
father's death, so their mom died when they were kids,
and that was definitely like an impactful moment for them.
And their dad was an ass apparently very similar. There's
a common theme about boomer parents being assholes. But when
their father died, Locke especially was so distraught about it,

(01:28:55):
and he was in such grief, and it was very
easy for his uncle Malady to convince him that he
was not ready, he was not in a good position
to be in charge of the country because he was
again only a teenager. Also, yeah, not the country again
the crown, h I know what you mean. Whatever it
is the holiday. So he's like, you're not ready to
be in charge, You're not gonna be good at it. Yeah,

(01:29:19):
And Locke is distressed. Fifteen years old, he's a teenager,
he's just lost his father's only living parent. He's really upset.
He goes along with it. The power is transferred. Malachi
is king, but he's not like yeah, like it wasn't
like a joyful transfer kind of vibe.

Speaker 3 (01:29:38):
And so Chris asks, because it's like, you don't have
a you don't have a castle staff, you don't have anything,
like what's going on? Like are you running out of magic?
And they're like, no, we actually have quite a lot
of it. But Malachi has made it so that all
of that magic goes to his distillery and that's it.
It's like he uses it to make it, like to
basically make it so that his distillery super lucky. Yeah,

(01:30:01):
that it's constantly on top, Like he doesn't do anything
about the holiday. He shows up once a year at
the Saint Patrick's Day parade, and then occasionally he comes
to the castle and like yells at us because he
says he doesn't have enough joy even though he has
all of it and there's only like a small residual
of it that Locke is able to like sort of

(01:30:22):
hang onto because it wasn't a joyful transfer of power.

Speaker 1 (01:30:24):
But even then it's really not a lot. And it's
also like that's it's kind of framed. That's only the
amount that Malachi gives them, that he gives them this
like slim amount to just maintain, to maintain basically, Yeah,
it's it's like an allowance. But also there is this
implication that like the the whole bit, like this starts

(01:30:48):
formulating in Chris's mind that like Malachi is kind of
manipulating both the court and the tabloids and all of
that to give Lock this bad reputation so that he
can stay in power, because now that Locke is an adult,
he should be able to take it back. He's like
twenty one to twenty two, I think, and so he

(01:31:10):
should be able to retake control and his authority. But
so far he has no support to do that because
all of the court, who aren't even here, believe this
propaganda that he is like a bad boy, that he's
irresponsible and not able to do it, even though he's
trying to break up this fight over here and like

(01:31:30):
using magic in a responsible way, and Shavan even mentions, yeah,
like Malachi doesn't care about these events. He doesn't care
about the holiday. This fun run actually was canceled a
couple of years ago, and it's only this is like
the second year we've done it, and it was only
allowed to happen because freaking Locke last year went rogue
and did it anyway. Yeah, and it was so it

(01:31:53):
was so well received, it was like joy profit. Essentially,
it created so much joy that Malachi was like, Okay,
I'm gonna slap my name all over it and take
credit for it essentially this year.

Speaker 3 (01:32:05):
And so now Chris is thinking about this, like in
the terms of like, Okay, I'm here to try and
figure out what's going on.

Speaker 1 (01:32:10):
Who's stealing from.

Speaker 2 (01:32:11):
From our holiday?

Speaker 3 (01:32:13):
And now he's like, all right, I have two options
in my head, and one of them is like it's
Malachi doing it, because you know.

Speaker 1 (01:32:20):
He's greased, just like a greedy asshole. But then he's
also thinking like it could it could still be luck,
but he's the way he's thinking about it is like
not with anger anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:32:28):
It's like he's it's it's upsetting to him because.

Speaker 3 (01:32:32):
He's like Lacke is doing it because he doesn't have
access to his magic and he's trying to use what
little he has to make the holiday better. Like he's
the one who's actually trying to run things.

Speaker 1 (01:32:43):
Yeah, it's for the good of the holiday.

Speaker 3 (01:32:45):
It's for the good of the holiday. So Chris is like,
I don't even know if I can be mad at him.

Speaker 1 (01:32:49):
If it's him, Yeah, he's kind he's hoping it's Malachy. Yes,
he wants it to be Malachi because that's easy to
like explain it, easy to hate. Yeah, but if it is,
if it is Lock and he is doing it to
try and you know, keep his holiday afloat, then Chris
can't be that mad at him for it exactly, even
though it is theft. Yeah, so he's got all of

(01:33:11):
these things in his head. He's thinking a lot of thoughts.
He just had these very tender moments with Locke. He
also goes over because the tabloids come over to lock
as they're leaving, because they're going over to the car
and Chris is covered in bandages, he's injured. He's like,
oh God, they're gonna make this a big thing. The
tabloid people come over and they start to do that

(01:33:32):
to like take pictures and be like what's up, Like, oh, no,
friggin' scandal, trauma, whatever. Yeah, and Chris kind of pops
off at them a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:33:43):
That's not And here's the other festival.

Speaker 1 (01:33:45):
There's so many festivals that are happening. I know, no
this one. He's just kind of like, oh, hasn't he
mentioned the fight? Doesn't he yell at them about the
fight because they weren't. They weren't covering it.

Speaker 2 (01:33:56):
I don't know if he mentions the fight.

Speaker 3 (01:33:58):
I do know that the one where he pops off
is not one I don't I actually don't see anything
about them confronting them at all.

Speaker 1 (01:34:04):
Maybe I'm maybe I'm projecting a different part. Then yeah,
I think they're projecting a different parts. This is my
problem is my brain is broken and there's two different,
very similar events. Yeah, so my brain like puts them
over top each other.

Speaker 2 (01:34:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:34:16):
So anyway, so that's not They get in the car
and Locke is still like, you need to drink water,
you need to eat something, and Chris is like, you're
not my dad.

Speaker 1 (01:34:25):
He's a little bit more again soft about it, though,
he does say you're not my dad at one point,
and I'm like, your dad wouldn't care though. And at
one point while they're driving, it's like Chris is really
hyper aware of Lock in the back seat because they're
they're sitting next to each other. They're sitting next to
each other in the back seat. I don't know why
he's not driving his own car, but he's not. They're

(01:34:46):
in the back seat together for the gayinness, for the
gayness of it all, and they're not looking at each other.
They're purposefully not looking at each other.

Speaker 3 (01:34:54):
But Chris puts his hand down and accidentally puts it
down over Lock on the middle seat, on the middle seat,
and Chris is like Okay, what do I do here?

Speaker 1 (01:35:04):
Do I do? I just? Do I take it off?

Speaker 2 (01:35:06):
Do I not?

Speaker 3 (01:35:06):
Acknowl And he's like, well, Lock's not moving either until
he does move and he moves to like hold Chris's hand,
And now Chris is having a full blown gay panic.

Speaker 1 (01:35:15):
Moment because also I think this is the most world
that sinks in where Chris is like, oh, he said
that the Irish fort by antagonizing each other. Has he
been flirting with me? This whole tie hanging on? I'm
gonna go through this whole part because it's so great.

Speaker 2 (01:35:30):
Okay, it's not that long. Uh so he's thinking about it.

Speaker 3 (01:35:33):
I hear our hearer's voice, the memory of it echoing, echoing, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:35:36):
Irish boyo talking shite? Is how we flirt? Holy fuck?
Has he been flirting with me this whole time? And
oh my god? Have I been flirting back? No? No way.

Speaker 3 (01:35:44):
Flirting is telling someone they look nice, or smelling or
smiling at each other across the room, or anything that
leaves a funny, fuzzy feeling in my chest, not not
heat so intense. I don't think there's a part of
me that isn't blistered anymore. Not tensions so potent, it
creates its own gravitational pull. That's not this isn't Oh
my god, that's what this is.

Speaker 1 (01:36:00):
He realizes in this moment, Oh, I'm so hot for
this dude. Yeah, because he's been in great denial about it.
And also it realizes that it may be reciprocal. Yeah,
it may be reciprocated. Locke may be into it. And
there is a moment of panic and they're both again
not looking at each other. Yeah, And at a certain

(01:36:20):
point Chris risks it. He's in his head so much,
but he risks like looking over to look at Locke,
which seems to like spook lock a little bit. He
pulls his hand away. Yeah. After Chris looks at him,
and Chris is immediately overwhelmed with this feeling of rejection.
He's like, oh god, so maybe was he messing around
with me? Is this like nothing? Like, I don't know
what's going on? What's up with this? And then I'm

(01:36:44):
pretty sure because he they both they face away, Yeah,
they face away for each other, and Chris basically like
tries to make himself as small as possible against the door. Yeah.
It's a lot of mixed messages. Happening because it was
very much like Locke was the one who reached a
cross the way and grabbed his hand. Yes, but then
Locke is also the one who pulls back, and Chris

(01:37:06):
is feeling very weird and conflicted about it. But they
get to the house. They get to the palace, the castle,
not the palace. I keep saying this. Yes, they get
to the castle and they get out of the car
and immediately Chris is like, Okay, I'm just gonna I'm
gonna put as much distance between myself and this man
as possible. Yeah, and something else happens this evening. Yes,

(01:37:28):
So they get back to the castle. Yes, and.

Speaker 2 (01:37:33):
Locke is looking at his phone and he curses.

Speaker 1 (01:37:37):
He says fucker.

Speaker 2 (01:37:39):
And Finn's like, what's happening?

Speaker 1 (01:37:41):
And oh is this when Malachi shows up? Yes, okay,
and they're like, oh, our uncle's coming, and this is
like an impromptu thing. Malachi is he doesn't usually come
around like sometimes he does, but it's like, oh, he's
coming for dinner, and he'll he'll meet us at dinner.
And Locke is like, screw that, I'm gonna talk to
him immediately. I'm going to go and like confront this

(01:38:02):
man in his office, and Chris is like, I'm coming
with you. I'm coming too, and he's thinking about this
and from the from the point the perspective of what
Chavon talked to him about, because he's thinking, I'm going
to be back up for this guy. And Locke doesn't
know that they talked, and so he's like, why are
you coming with me? And Chris is like, well, I
am a foreign dignitary and I haven't met your king

(01:38:25):
and I haven't met your king yet. And Locke's like,
I can't argue with that, right, Fine, you can come.
So they go up to Malachi's office in the in
the castle, and Malaki is a smarmy asshole. He is
like perfectly quaffed. He is like perfectly put together. He
is trying to hide his Irish accent and like he's

(01:38:46):
trying to be like English. He makes it he's trying
to be posh, and posh makes is like stereotypically like
the received pronunciation posh English. Yes, So he is trying
to distance himself from being stereotypically Irish, which like is
just all Locke is. And it's like night and day
between them. Instantly Chris hates this guyos me. He's like,

(01:39:09):
he's got such a punchable face. Yeah, And they roll
up and Malaki's like, I will go didn't even notice
this the first time, because now with context, I now
get it. Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:39:19):
So Malachi says his tabot on the desktop rises and
buttons his pinstripe suit coat. Every move is gradual, taking
charge of the room by making even mundane acts look calculated.
How are you finding your time in Ireland, Prince Christopher?
He props his hand on his hips. Is Lachlan being
an attentive host? I only see lock twitch because I
kept him in front of me so I can watch
both him and Malachi.

Speaker 1 (01:39:37):
Ah, yes, I don't want to reread it. Put a
pin in that for later. Yeah. But Malachi's also like,
go on back, I'll talk to you, and he's trying
to just miss them. He's like, I'll talk to you
at dinner. Yeah, and Locke is like, no, you'll talk
to me now. We're talking now, and basically like Chris

(01:39:59):
interjects him from the conversation, and Malachi is saying, like,
all right, find whatever do you want to talk about
this in front of Christopher or if you want to
include Christopher in this block, and Locke kind of doesn't
with when it's going to come to talking about specific
things with their kingdom. Yeah, and so Chris is like,
all right, you're Malachi says you're dismissed. So Chris goes outside,

(01:40:21):
but he doesn't leave. He lingers by the door, even
though knowing that he is still with an earshot. The
two of them switch over to speaking Irish. They start
speaking in Irish to each other. Little do they know
part of Christmas's magic is understanding languages. Yep, because Christmas
covers so much territory that they need to be able

(01:40:42):
to understand people, like the letters from Santa, that whole thing. Yeah,
so Chris is able to use a little bit of
magic to make himself understand what they're saying.

Speaker 3 (01:40:52):
And what they're talking about is that Locke broke up
That used magic to break up that fight at the
fun Run, and he's upset. He says, you use magic,
We had an agreement, you selfish piece of shit.

Speaker 1 (01:41:04):
He's basically in a very similar way to how Chris's
mom talks to him. Yeah, Malachi talks to Lock in
a very degrading way. He makes it seem like the
magic is rightfully mine. You taking and using any of
it is like stealing from me.

Speaker 3 (01:41:20):
Yeah, and like he literally he point blank says, you
repay like I let you and your sister stay in
the castle. I even let you carry on with these
little events, and I fund bunch of them, and yet
you repay all that by stealing from me again, did
you not learn your.

Speaker 1 (01:41:36):
Lesson last year? Yeah? Yeah, And so it's this really
toxic thing where he's just absolutely abusing this dude, like
this is the financial peace we were talking about, because
even though it's not literally money, it is in a
sense their currency, Like the joy is there is what
makes up their economy. It's how they they fund things happening. Yeah,

(01:41:57):
and so literally he is presenting this as like any money,
any joy I give you is a gift that you
should be grateful for, and any you take from me
is theft and you are a monster for doing so.

Speaker 3 (01:42:10):
And literally like uh see, he says, see how fast
I throw the three of you out in your asses?

Speaker 1 (01:42:17):
Referring to him and his sister. He's threatening to impoverish
not only Lock but his sisters, who Lock uses like
his responsibility. He thinks he has to take care of them.

Speaker 3 (01:42:26):
I thought you'd realize how kind I've been to you, lachlann.
I thought you'd realize how much more you have to lose.

Speaker 1 (01:42:30):
Do not mess with me?

Speaker 3 (01:42:31):
You want grateful little fucker? Like what an asshole.

Speaker 1 (01:42:34):
So it's this whole big thing, and it's this like
he ends up leaving and he.

Speaker 2 (01:42:41):
Disappears like a mauki in a burst of shamrocks.

Speaker 1 (01:42:45):
Well we find that out in a second because Malki
suddenly is gone and Locke opens the door and sees
Chris is why on the outside of it, and he's
just like, oh, were you here the whole time? And
Chris is like yeah, and he's like, also, I could
hear what he was saying. I do, I do understand it.
I do understand what he was saying. And Lock panics
because he's like, I know, you know Irish and Chris

(01:43:07):
is like I don't, but I have magic that lets
me understand Irish, and Locks like, oh okay, and looking
beyond him into the room, Yeah, Chris can see this
little circle of shamrocks where Malachi was. Yeah, and that
confirms the theory that these are a remnant of uses
of their magic. Yeah, whenever they at the very least teleport,

(01:43:30):
they leave these little things behind. And so Chris is
like keep wanting to say win, No, it's not what
it is. That's not what it is. It is not
what it is. But yeah, Chris is like, Okay, that
theory is confirmed, then hard confirmed. Teleporting leaves shamrocks.

Speaker 2 (01:43:44):
And also Maliki leaves shamrocks.

Speaker 1 (01:43:46):
Mali leaves shamrocks. But also he knows that they know
that they leave shamrocks behind. So did they weave one? Yeah? Yeah,
So is the question like, did they leave this intentionally
or did one slip through? Yeah, we don't know. We
don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:44:04):
And Locke is like, all right, you and me, we're
getting drunk. And Chris it's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:44:08):
If that was a good idea. It's like, no, I wasn't.
I wasn't a question. We're getting drunk. We're getting drunk.
They go down to the kitchen and instead of pulling
out the whiskey, which is like where he goes for originally. Yeah,
Locke is like, all right, we're gonna drink what I
actually drink when I want to get drunk, because whiskey,
doesn't like whiskey, doesn't like do that I have to
drink a lot of it, So I'm just gonna drink
what I actually drink. You cannot judge me. And Chris

(01:44:30):
is like, I make no promises, and Locke busts out
it's like whipped cream flavored vodkap and and Chris doesn't
drink really Yeah, but he I think he mentions that
he could like do tequila or something because he's he's
something else that he drinks. Yeah, they bust out a
bunch of.

Speaker 2 (01:44:47):
Drinks beer, but he doesn't mention that yet.

Speaker 1 (01:44:49):
No, they bunched out. He mentions that he likes al later,
but it's it's not a big part of the conversation.
Mostly what's relevant is that they get out, like they
start getting plass. They just start talking and drinking in
the kitchen. And I don't even remember what they talk about.
I don't. It don't even really matter what it probably
does because they're probably I think they're talking a little

(01:45:10):
bit about like the situation. The situation. Yeah. Uh.

Speaker 3 (01:45:14):
There is a point where he's like, I'm more of
a beer guy, and Locke gets like super excited and
gives him like some some Irish ale.

Speaker 2 (01:45:20):
Yeah, and uh.

Speaker 3 (01:45:23):
Chris asks him, like, what's going on with your uncle?
Locke is like he's a bastard and they're going on
about how it's like he he does like no one
takes his holiday seriously like that. He he talks a
lot about how like Saint Patrick's Day is so important
to especially Irish diaspora who are no longer living in Ireland.

Speaker 1 (01:45:44):
But I think it's it's called pronounced diora diaspora. Yeah, whatever,
it is important. It is important to pronounce it correctly, Chelsea.
Our listeners know what they're getting.

Speaker 3 (01:45:55):
So so he says, like it's really important because because
you know, not everyone can be in Ireland, they still
want to have a connection to this Ireland, to Ireland.
So like Saint Patrick's Day is one of those things
that's sort of celebrated worldwide.

Speaker 1 (01:46:08):
That can be that that's true because they talk about
how over time it is involved not into just like
the original whatever Saint Patrick running the Snakes of Ireland,
which there was a snake found in Ireland. Did you
hear about this? No, Like last week a snake was
found in Ireland. Oh my god. So this is the
first one, and then they're like, what did Saint Patrick's
magic is? It's this failing he didn't get them all

(01:46:30):
out anyway. So this whole thing about why it was
originally made but it has become this very much like
patriotic Irish pride cultural heritage event. Yeah, and how it
has evolved over time, and how it is so important
about celebrating Irish culture because of how it has been

(01:46:53):
you know, spread out over the different countries, but also
how it has been persecuted over time, and how important
it is to you know, remember the roots and remember
the culture. Yeah, and how that is to walk and
Locke is talking about how it's like he's so sick
and tired of not taking it seriously and he only
has a little bit of magic and you know.

Speaker 3 (01:47:13):
It's useless because he don't know what to do with it.
So last year he was so fed up that he
grabbed some magic and he created that fun run event again,
and Malachi was super pissed to the point where since
he was their guardian, he became their guardian. After their

(01:47:34):
parents died, they left us some money, but he's king
and this is technically his castle. Our family bank accounts
all of it is his, so he pays for everything for.

Speaker 1 (01:47:41):
Finn and Chevan.

Speaker 2 (01:47:43):
Thank you uh for Shavon and Finn's schooling.

Speaker 3 (01:47:46):
I got a scholarship, but if he pulled that money,
we would not have enough to keep this up. Already
calms here and mostly his own dime. It gets room
and board. Malaki let all the staff go last year
after my stunt and holds it over our heads now
because of my stupid attempt at making things better.

Speaker 1 (01:47:58):
So yeah, so Malaki is active punishing him for any
involvement in the holiday, any use of the magic at all,
even if it ends up being beneficial and comb the
butler is not really being paid, like he's just room
and board. It's they're being isolated and ostracized and threatened
with their livelihoods being completely undone. And Chris is like what.

Speaker 3 (01:48:20):
About your court, and Locke is like they're not involved anymore.
They pretty much are not like they exist and they
will go to events sometimes, but if they're going to
be at an event, then Malachi will also be there
to like keep up appearances.

Speaker 1 (01:48:32):
Yeah, because he Malachi has convinced them so much not
to care. Essentially, yeah, he has desensitized everybody, And that
is kind of the reason why it's kind of explained
that all of this happening is kind of the reason
why Saint Patrick's state globally has just become kind of
like herd or drinking holiday. Yeah, and it's not like,
you know, it's not like Locke dislikes the part of

(01:48:55):
it that is just like drinking in pubs, but he
doesn't like that that is all it has become. Yeah,
And Chris is like, what if you over threw your
what if you're over three your uncle? What if you
stage revolution and over through your uncle? And Locke's like,
I'm not I can't do that. No one will side
with me. Like and I can't.

Speaker 3 (01:49:14):
Chris is like, you can, though, because you should talk
to your court. Yeah, if you tell them what's going on,
you would probably have a lot of people taking your side.

Speaker 1 (01:49:22):
And also if you told the public what's going on,
because like you organized that fun run, you were breaking
up that fight. Like all of the things that Chris
has seen so far, when it comes to the holiday,
Lockwin seems responsible and caring about it. It's like you
were actually putting in the work where Malchie's not. Yeah,
and so like if you let people see that, I'm

(01:49:43):
sure that you have more allies than you think you do.

Speaker 3 (01:49:46):
So anyway, during the course of this very deep conversation
that they're having, they're getting like closer and closer, like
physically closer and closer.

Speaker 1 (01:49:53):
I thought you were just gonna be like sway a smash.
I mean, yes, yeah, and I was gonna like lead
up to it a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:50:00):
Yeah, they're getting closer and closer, and yes, to the
point where they they they do start making out. Locke
is reluctant because he's sort of like, you deserve he tells,
he starts.

Speaker 1 (01:50:10):
It's again he makes the messages because he freaking kisses
kisses Chris. Yes, and then he tries.

Speaker 2 (01:50:15):
To pull away and it's like you deserve better.

Speaker 1 (01:50:18):
Yeah, and Chris is like, no, man, that is that
is a thing that we'll get into it. That's that's
For some reason, I love that they get so freaking
hot and heavy, like it's they're both drunk. They're both
just like literally grinding up against each other in the
middle of this kitchen. Yeah, and I'm like, your sisters
could walk in at any moment, my guy, But whatever,

(01:50:40):
at least you still have your clothes on. It's just
like they're making out really aggressively, and Chris is so
deeply into it. He is like, oh my god, I
am He's lost in the sauce of meting out with
this dude. There is one line that there are race
rights here, and I I'm like, girl, you did not
need to go this hard. It's a there's a raw

(01:51:00):
as hell line in the middle of them making out
in the kitchen. I don't know if you registered it,
but I may have, but I'm looking for it now.
There is a specific line that that Chris thinks, which
is Lachlan a when they were back at the run,
Sorry we missed this entireo. When they were back at
the run, when Chris freaking like drinks the water. Finally,
Lachlan says good boy, tauntingly, and Chris gets a little

(01:51:23):
hard from it. That doesn't with the text says but
that's how that's what my brain says, And I was like,
got it. Praise kink locked on understood, that's happening again
here where Lachlan like gets the sense that Chris likes
it when he praises him, but he also like is
teasing him still and he calls him greedy, and Chris
is like, I am greedy, I am greed, and I

(01:51:43):
am gluttony, and I am the reason these sins are deadly,
and I'm like, there's no reason, Sarah, you did not
need to go that hard. In this line, this.

Speaker 3 (01:51:53):
Is also where like uh Locke is trying to get
him to diagnose, like why when you were you were men?
Like what the tablet is going to say? Why did
you mention that you're the spare clause? And he's like
it's just a tabloid headline and Lock's like, no, they
never referred to you that way. Why are you referring
to yourself?

Speaker 1 (01:52:09):
Why do you think of yourself like that?

Speaker 2 (01:52:11):
And this is when they're they're kind of talking about like.

Speaker 1 (01:52:16):
That adamics are being set here and that Chris is
an overworked, over stressed bottom who needs somebody to take
care of him. Dear God, please yes and with the
praise kank yes.

Speaker 3 (01:52:27):
And he's also like he sees themselves at the backup
the background. Yeah, he wants to make sure other people
get their happy ending. And now that Cole is like
with Hex and he's like doing a lot better. He
doesn't know what to do with himself and Locke is
his service top. Yeah, that's where we are, that's what
that's where we.

Speaker 1 (01:52:45):
Are in the dynamic. Yep. Yeah, and I'm over here
just kind of like I get it. I'm here for it.
But then yeah, Locke, there's like a moment of clarity
where like something interrupts them. I think they breaks, like
they drop a glass. They do and they not a
glass over and that kind of again shatters literally the

(01:53:06):
vibe where it's suddenly like Locke seems to come back
to himself and I shouldn't have done that. I gotta go, actually,
like I shouldn't be here, shouldn't be doing this. I
gotta go. And once again Chris is feeling very like rejected.
And this is another thing where this it's like he's
it's again he is drunk. He's feeling like a secondary rejection.

(01:53:29):
He was just having this big emotional high. He was
also getting really into it. And this is like there
are things, there are concepts that I know that I
don't know if this was being done intentionally. Yeah, I'm
aware of this, Chelsea. Do you know what subdrop is? No? Okay,
so this is this is sex education with your loocal
away sexual who like I know about these things. I

(01:53:51):
should be teaching sex education. I know about these things theoretically.
So in BDSM there is a concept of both of Basically,
when you are in a scene, both partners, the dominant
submissive partners in a scene will get very emotionally into it.

(01:54:12):
They will be in a heightened emotional or like or
a heightened state essentially where they are kind of not
thinking straight. But there is also a level of like
safety in a sense, and if that is neglected or
shooken up, it is very possible to get this sense

(01:54:33):
of like deep anxiety and rejection from that because you
go from a very high emotional high to a very
quick emotional low. It's almost like an emotional hangover, and
it can manifest as like depression and anxiety in the
immediate wake of something like that. And so in this scene,
it is described as Chris getting like incredibly into it,

(01:54:56):
literally losing himself and making out and kiss lock and
like grinding a lock and he doesn't really know what
he's doing because he's never had a relationship that is
this intense before. And Locke is also like saying crap
to him and praising him and like getting him in
this this headspace of Chris being like needy and reliant

(01:55:18):
on lock for validation. Yea. And then Locke just leaves. Yeah,
and Chris is in this kind of dazed state that
he doesn't really come out of until he's like halfway
through picking glassip off the floor, where he's like shaking
and anxious, and he's also again kind of drunk and
coming down from it. And I was like, oh, you

(01:55:39):
poor baby, he's sub dropping really hard because he literally
emotionally crashes. Yeah, that's exactly what happens. He has a
freaking emotional anxiety crash. Yeah. He goes back upstairs. He
doesn't even go to his room. He goes to the library. Yes,
and passes out on the floor. Yes, but not before

(01:56:00):
for he texts Cole.

Speaker 3 (01:56:03):
And Iris's group chat how bad would it be if.

Speaker 1 (01:56:07):
I kissed the guy who stole from us? Yeah? And
so it's this whole thing where I'm just like, was
this on purpose, Sarah? Is that what you were implying
is happening here? Or no? Because me, as a person
who knows these things, somehow, I have friends who tell
me things I read doesn't matter. I read doesn't matter.

(01:56:31):
You consume fan fiction. I do. I consume fan fiction.
One of my good friends is a porn star, Like,
I know things. Anyway we do this series. Yeah, that's
a question I would have for Sarah is like, is
this intentional? There? You're making Chris go through Updrop. Well,
so Chris texts that because he's drunk and.

Speaker 3 (01:56:53):
His phone rings, it's not a text, it's a video call.

Speaker 2 (01:56:57):
The vodka answers.

Speaker 1 (01:56:59):
It's col being like, hey, Bud, He says, first of all,
you're not texting your normal proper format. It's the most
terrifying way I've ever been yanked out of a meeting. Yep, yep.
And he's just like, are you good, my guy? And
Chris is not. No, he's not good. He's trying to
pretend he's good. Yeah, he's trying to be like, no,
I'm fine, but he's not. He's not. And he also,

(01:57:21):
like Cole is like, hey, are you aware that you
texted the group Jack because they actually haven't told iris
about what is happening. No, well, I mean she knows
about she knows about the prank. Well, no, she knows.
She was there when they were talking about going to to.

Speaker 2 (01:57:36):
She doesn't know that someone's stealing from them.

Speaker 1 (01:57:37):
She does know someone's stealing from them, Yeah, she does
not know that part. No, So that and that's what
he texted, Like that's true. Yeah, what if I kiss
the guy who's been stealing from him? That's fair. Yeah,
so she has no, she doesn't know about all that.

Speaker 3 (01:57:49):
But Cole is like, it's fine, it's iris is cool,
Like she was a, yeah, well.

Speaker 1 (01:57:55):
That's that's not a big deal. I just we didn't
want to tell her such. She wouldn't be freaking out
about because she's got other stuff that she has to
deal with because she's dealing with her sister in that
wedding whole situation.

Speaker 3 (01:58:03):
Yeah, And at this point, it's like Chris is suddenly
like he is having a panic attack, but it's not
what he's calling it. Yeah, and cause he's like freaking out,
He's like, Cole, you didn't have to call me. I'm
so sorry, yanked you have a meeting? Like do they
know why I'm here? Oh my god, they know why
I am here, Like they know someone's been stealing from us.

Speaker 1 (01:58:19):
They're he's spiraling really yeah, And Cole's like, I am
coming there right now, Like I breathe. He's like, I'm
getting up, I am coming to where you are, Like
we're getting you out of there, and Chris is like no, no, no, no, no,
don't do that. Don't love take me away. Cole reading Chris.

Speaker 3 (01:58:36):
For Filth, saying, did you finally realize that all the
hatred you felt for Locke was actually you just wanting
to bang him?

Speaker 1 (01:58:41):
And he's like you knew? Scandalized, offended, Like how dare you? Yeah,
and freaking Cole is just kind of like, yeah, bro,
you minimize your own feelings. You supplement your own feelings. Yeah,
so so deeply, my guy.

Speaker 3 (01:58:57):
And like they start getting it's like Chris, you're having
a panic attack, and he says I do not have
panic attacks. And I just want to take that as actually,
do we want to just do that thing for.

Speaker 1 (01:59:07):
A Patreon break later? What talking about panic attacks and
my anxiety? Just for I didn't know that's what you've
never told me, that's what you want to talk about.
So if you want to talk about that, you're welcome
to Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (01:59:17):
So the whole thing is like Cole is telling him,
like you're having a panic attack, and Chris is very
much like, no, I'm not having a panic to get
that it's not what it is, like I don't have
panic attacks, And that part specifically spoke to me because.

Speaker 1 (01:59:33):
I was very much like I have.

Speaker 3 (01:59:35):
Like looking back now, I'm like, oh, I can see
the progress of my anxiety disorder. Like that was definitely
a thing. And I've talked to this podcast or like all.
My first panic attack was flying into Chicago. I didn't
know that's what it was at the time, and it
wasn't that severe at the time because it wasn't like
I felt like I was dying. I have since had
panic attacks where I'm like, I need to go to
a hospital.

Speaker 1 (01:59:56):
I'm dying.

Speaker 3 (01:59:58):
But they happened so often, Like they started happening more
when I was in college, So I would go to
the health center. In college, I wouldn't want to go
to the hospital, but I would go to the health
center and they would check me out and they'd be like,
you're fine, and.

Speaker 1 (02:00:12):
So I just kind of got used to that happening.

Speaker 3 (02:00:15):
And it wasn't until I was twenty two years old
and I was at Comic Con and I was actually
with our friend Savannah at comic Con, and I we
had we were sleeping in line to see the fucking
Marvel panel the next day. And I think it was
also a Lord of the I think of the Hobbit
or whatever. But and what happened was I had left

(02:00:38):
to go shower and came back and couldn't find my badge.
Which it's like, no badge nothing, there's like a digital
thing you can sometimes you can get them replaced, but
it's really fucking hard to do.

Speaker 1 (02:00:51):
It's just a whole process. It's a whole process. Yeah.
And not only that, but at that point, we were.

Speaker 3 (02:00:55):
Staff, so that was like I lost a staff badge,
freaking out. I'm like, I don't know what to do, Like,
oh my god, I found it. But I didn't sleep
that night because I had had a panic attack and
now all the adrenaline was in my system and I
couldn't go to sleep. And Savannah was like, hey, Bud,
you good. Yeah, And I'm like, oh, it's fine.

Speaker 1 (02:01:14):
It just happens sometimes, and she's like, that's not normal. Yeah,
And that was.

Speaker 3 (02:01:18):
Like Savannah literally had to sit me down. I was
also living with her at the time. She had to
sit me down and be like, hey, Bud, this isn't
like a normal thing other people go through. This is
like you're having a panic attack, Like that's an anxiety disorder.

Speaker 2 (02:01:31):
And it wasn't until then.

Speaker 1 (02:01:33):
That I was finally like I should see a doctor
and I finally fucking got on meds because that was
the thing that someone had to point out to me like, hey, dude,
that's not a normal way to process anything anything. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:01:46):
Uh so yeah, that's I was deeply like I related
to this moment so hard because it's like people don't
like you as someone with an anxiety disorder. Like I'm
sitting there like, oh, this is just how other people are,
but we don't talk about it.

Speaker 2 (02:02:02):
And it's like, no, that's not what's happening.

Speaker 3 (02:02:04):
What's happening is you have a super high reaction to
stress to the point where you didn't sleep until twenty
four hours later. Like that's not normal, right, And so
that like at this point, I think Chris is still
kind of likening.

Speaker 1 (02:02:22):
There's an extra level with Chris of denial, Yeah, where
he feels like he's not allowed to to some extent,
to be that way. He's got all this anxiety in
this panic and it may be that he is, you know,
not aware that all of these symptoms are like the
anxiety and the panic attack. But he also is actively

(02:02:43):
when told, like when Cole points out you're having a
panic attack, yeah, Chris is like, no, I'm not. Yeah,
as like opposed to your situation where you're just like
oh no, like you were saying no, no, no, like
it's not that bad, whereas Chris is saying I do
not have panic attacks. I do not have panic attacks.

Speaker 3 (02:03:00):
I am being hard on myself because I fucked up
because I should have asked Locke while we were drunk
together if he was stealing it and I didn't.

Speaker 1 (02:03:06):
But also, there's nothing wrong with me. Yeah, I'm a
failure and I've done all this stuff wrong, but there's
nothing wrong with me. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:03:13):
Yeah, And he Chris and Cole have like a huge
long discussion and introspection about like, hey, why did you
think you were in love with Iris? And like he
gets about it like I'm supposed to because it's like
that's the way.

Speaker 1 (02:03:26):
The story works. Yeah, there's this whole thing of like.

Speaker 3 (02:03:29):
Why are you even in college for this fucking major
that you hate? Like I asked you, Like the last book,
there was a part in the end where Cole asked
Chris like, what do you even want to do? And
Chris doesn't answer him, like he almost doesn't, then stops
himself and this is the point where Cole is finally
like what were you going to say that you didn't? Yeah,
And Chris is finally like, I want to write a
book and Cole is like, well then do it yeah,

(02:03:53):
Like and this Chris is like, I haven't written a
long time, Like I just I don't have any kind of.

Speaker 2 (02:04:00):
To write, which is another thing.

Speaker 1 (02:04:01):
I'm like this fucking book man. So that's another thing
that really to I'm my my major.

Speaker 3 (02:04:08):
My diploma says that my major is in Cinema with
an emphasis in screenwriting. And for like ten years after
like not right after I graduated. It took a couple
of years, but it was definitely, like I think, mostly
since I like had to I moved back to my
parents in twenty sixteen, things happen. I didn't write anything

(02:04:31):
for like the longest fucking time, and it was like
it eight me up inside, because like that's why I
went to school. Like, yes, I love editing. I will
always be a video editor because I fucking love doing it.
But like I went to school for screenwriting, and I
haven't written anything in years, and it's not until very
recently that I've started writing again. And it's still like

(02:04:52):
really difficult because I'm also very like hard on myself
about what I'm writing.

Speaker 1 (02:04:57):
But it's like that whole thing where he's like he's
like so depressed and so anxious and hates himself so
much that he doesn't write anything. Well, this is also
a thing. I don't know if it's said at this
point of the story or later, but it's relevant to
this discussion now that Chris, at some point in the
story talks about why he is no longer in the

(02:05:18):
writing major. Yeah, because he went for English at first
from Cambridge and then switched. And it is revealed that
the reason he switched is because he went to this school.
He did the classes and he submitted like his first
ever thing for a class creative writing wise, and he
was really passionate about it and he really enjoyed it,

(02:05:40):
was really proud of it, and the professor ripped it
apart yep, and the professor told him it was bad.
He told him that it was like two whimsical, two fansful,
too stupid. No one would take him seriously as a writer.
The professor really dunked on him and basically like said
that the only good reason, the only good way to
write is if you would hear to this very narrow box,

(02:06:02):
which is like the classics essentially, which is another reason.

Speaker 3 (02:06:05):
Why Chris was like, oh, fuck you, you just want me
to read the classics.

Speaker 1 (02:06:09):
Of course you do, because if you're not emulating the classics,
then you're not a serious writer. Is the implication part
of me is like, Sarah, is there a new projection here?
And the thing is like, as a creative arts major,
I get that too. Luckily, Oh yeah, yeah, Luckily, my
screenwriting professor is fucking amazing. Well, that's part of what
I was was moving on to say, is that's very

(02:06:30):
common across the arts. I have several friends who went
to art school, and art school killed their desire to
do art because the professors in the art school tore
them down and told them that their method of creative
expression was bad. Actually not just you need to practice
xyz more, these are ways you can improve, it's the
way that you do it and the things you want

(02:06:52):
to express are bad and wrong, and it kills the
desire to create. That negative feedback and For Chris, it
was devastating because he poured his heart into something and
was told what you want to do and way you
want to do it sucks. And we get some information
about how like Chris used to as a kid was

(02:07:12):
a right he wrote. He wrote all the time. He
wrote stories that were like and maybe a little bit
more juvenile, but would show them to Iris and Iris
would like make art of it. Yeah, she drew the
characters in his books. And he thought that was so
cool as a kid. And he was so into it
as a kid, and it was like his happy place
and it was like a way he bonded with his friends,

(02:07:32):
and he was so enthusiastic about it, and he wanted
to tell adventure stories. He wanted to tell stories about
people going on these amazing journeys. And maybe again they
were more fanciful or whimsical or whatever, but it was fun.
It was a joy. And because it wasn't serious quote
unquote classical writing, he got dunked on really hard and

(02:07:56):
he has not written anything since and it's been killing
him because he just feels like a failure all around.

Speaker 3 (02:08:03):
Yeah, and like, as someone who has come from a
creative major, I was really lucky that my screenwriting professor
is actually like really chill, also huge nerd and like
literally uses the screenplay for die Hard in his class
as an example because of it's really easy to like
break down the structure of die Hard. Sure, so I

(02:08:24):
loved that because it was like, if you can break
down this, like breaking down the structure of die Hard
is like a super simple thing to do because of
how things progress in.

Speaker 2 (02:08:30):
The story, It's great. But that being said.

Speaker 3 (02:08:33):
I was still on an art major and I had
other professors that I fucking hated. I think to this day,
I have a grudge against my cinema theory professor who
came up and like there was a day like I
hated almost every movie she made us.

Speaker 1 (02:08:47):
Watch in that class.

Speaker 3 (02:08:48):
And there was also so there was one who was
a theory professor, and there's another who's a theory professor.
But like the different classes, she the first one, uh
forced us to watch her short film first Small, and
I remember being like, what the fuck because she was
also like, oh, the only real film is if you
do it physically. Me sitting here someone who was there

(02:09:10):
as someone who loved working digitally right right. And also
there was like our midterm, she yelled at us, saying like,
you don't know what you're doing, like all of you
failed this, and I've I'm the one who raised my
hand and was like, Hey, if all of us failed,
isn't that your fault, not ours? Not the right thing
to say to her, apparently, I mean yeah. And then
there was another professor that It's like we were watching

(02:09:32):
Alien in class one day and I was like, really
excited to watch because I love that movie, and she
tore it apart, saying how much it sucks and how
it's terrible and so misogynistic and blah blah blah. And
I'm sitting there like, I will fight you woman, Like
that's it's so real and it sucks so hard.

Speaker 1 (02:09:47):
And there's so many people who, yeah, burn out completely
on this passion that they have because of how terrible
the fucking professors are. The institution of learning breaks you down,
yep sometimes. And it is something that deeply affected Chris
and made him switch. He hasn't written since it's deeply
affecting him now because he has these dreams that he

(02:10:08):
feels like he has to throw to the side in
order to be useful or to fit to a certain mold,
and that was this idea. Again, his life is very
colored by and structured by stories. He has narratives that
he makes in his head, both in creative writing but
also for himself about how things should go. And he
has these ideas in his head about, for instance, what

(02:10:31):
the perfect family looks like, what the right kind of
family looks like, and his family doesn't look like that,
and that causes him distress, and he thinks, so, if
only I meet these story beats, if I hit these milestones,
my family will be the right kind of family, it
will be good again. If only I hit these kind

(02:10:52):
of beats and follow these themes and marry a princess,
a perfect, beautiful princess, then my life will be good
and I'll have apply ever after. And that is why
he fixated on Iris, even though it wasn't even about
her as a person. It was about the image of
her and the image of him. It wasn't about the
two of them as people. It was about the Princess

(02:11:13):
of Easter and the Prince of Christmas being in love
and having a happy, fun, joyous time forever. And it
was about you know, doing things in a certain way
that will fix everything. And everyone will be happy, and
Chris acknowledging that and realizing like, that's not how it is. Essentially,

(02:11:34):
he's been deluding himself for most of his life into
behaving in a certain way to meet these ideals that
are not possible. And Cole's like, oh buddy, oh my
sweet baby boy. But Chris convinces him to not come
over that night. He says he's gonna be okay, he's

(02:11:56):
going to go to sleep.

Speaker 2 (02:11:57):
He got to sleep and he doesn't mean to, but
he falls asleep the library.

Speaker 1 (02:12:00):
He just passes out in the library. Yeah. And he
wakes up the next day and.

Speaker 2 (02:12:04):
He's got a blanket on him.

Speaker 1 (02:12:05):
He's got a blanket, there's a little there's a bowl
or a cup of water. Yep, and some more pain medication. Yeppe.
No full breakfast this time, Nope. But something it's very
obvious like this is I don't remember if there's a note,
but there's very obviously this is from Lock. This is
from Lock. Yeah, Locke not only again the king of
mixed messages, because he's like gonna make out with you

(02:12:26):
really hard in the in the kitchen, gonna say I
shouldn't have done this. This was a mistake and walk
out on you and then gonna find you passed out
in the library and tuck you in and leave you
hangover red cure.

Speaker 3 (02:12:40):
I have a thing about one part of the couple
being like this was a mistake, but later coming back.

Speaker 1 (02:12:47):
Like a thing where you like throwing your hair and
biting your whip. Yeah, I support you.

Speaker 3 (02:12:51):
There are so many girlies out there who are listening
to me say this and being like.

Speaker 1 (02:12:55):
We know the reluctance. It's the reluctance, you know where
it's like you want it, but you feel like you
have to do yourself back for whatever reason. Whatever is yearning,
the yearning is really it's the yearning and the pining.
That's what we want here. That is what we want.
That's what we want.

Speaker 3 (02:13:09):
But we are about to go into another festival day.
But before we do that, we're halfway through. Let's do
another Patreon breaker.

Speaker 1 (02:13:21):
Let's before I go deeper into what I was about
to say, let's transition back over into the actual book review.

Speaker 2 (02:13:27):
All right, so we're back and we're in another festival day.

Speaker 3 (02:13:32):
Yes, this is the the festival that Christiana is like,
which fucking one are we talking?

Speaker 1 (02:13:36):
There's multiple festivals happening.

Speaker 3 (02:13:38):
There's two that are the ones that I think you're
confusing because the other ones are pretty distinct.

Speaker 1 (02:13:43):
There's the final one is just like a parade that's
happening on Saint Patrick's Day, which we don't see. No,
we don't see that one.

Speaker 3 (02:13:50):
So this is like, uh festival, The way I picture
it in my head is more like a festival, like
a run fair kind of situation.

Speaker 1 (02:13:57):
It's not really that. It's like an arts festival. Yeah,
it's like a fair. It's not a rent fair. It's
just a fair.

Speaker 2 (02:14:05):
I'm thinking the last thing I have not been to
a fair in so long.

Speaker 1 (02:14:08):
Affairs are distinctly American. They don't do them outside the US. Oh,
I know, I know.

Speaker 3 (02:14:12):
This is nothing like that. Yeah, because I actually did
used to go to like fairs as a child. But
in my head, thinking like, what's the last thing I
went to that was like this rent fair?

Speaker 1 (02:14:23):
There is like there are musicians playing, there's arts, there's vendors,
there's dancing, there's food. It's like it's just a big
fair yea to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day coming up. Yeah,
and this is another thing that's being organized by the
Patrick family. Largely by Locke, and it is something that
they're making appearance at to again network and to try

(02:14:45):
and spread joy. And Locke and.

Speaker 3 (02:14:48):
Chris are like very obviously sort of not talking or looking.

Speaker 1 (02:14:53):
At each others are rancid, to the point where the
sisters are both like, hey, guys, even is like something
is wrong? Yeah, yeah, So they.

Speaker 3 (02:15:06):
Locke decides to have a private chat with Chris and
the first thing he said, like, one of the first
things he says is that last night was a mistake.

Speaker 2 (02:15:14):
Which I'm like, buddy, buddy.

Speaker 1 (02:15:17):
And kudos to Chris, because this is a very common
misconception trope that I get frustrated with where the one
party says like this is a mistake, I shouldn't have
done this, and the other party doesn't like push them
about it. There's like how could you say that, as
opposed to being like what do you mean? Why? Why
did you do this? Then? Yeah, which is like what

(02:15:38):
Chris does. He pushes back. He's just kind of like,
then why did you do it? Like why are you
saying it's a mistake? And he's he's like, we both
clearly are into each other, Yeah, what's wrong with being together?
But the thing is the self hatred is also like
he grabs onto that like mistake, Like Locke ends up
saying something about how it's like, uh, I've it's something

(02:16:00):
like I have my own shit to deal with, I
can't also deal with your shit. He said, like fuck you.
He said, my life's already a mess, I can't open
the door to yours as well, or something like that.
He says something that could be interpreted as saying that
Chris is a mess that Locke cannot involve himself with
right now, which is we find out later, not what

(02:16:23):
he meant to say, but it is how it could
easily be interpreted in how Chris interprets what he says. Yeah,
and Chris is deeply affected by that because he thinks
he's a mess, but he is operating under the assumption
that he is locking that down where it's like, yeah,
I'm a mess, but nobody knows that I'm keeping my
head above water and I'm so cool, calm and collected.
Everybody else nobody needs to know I'm a mess at

(02:16:44):
this point. Not cool, calm, collected. No, he's not. He's
usually also.

Speaker 3 (02:16:49):
Not coping very well like he thinks he is. He's
not but at this point, he's like all bets are
off because he like goes away.

Speaker 2 (02:16:54):
From a Locke is trying to like get him.

Speaker 3 (02:16:56):
Yeah, and Chris is like fuck you and like walks
off and he's like, I'm not cool, calm and collected
right now.

Speaker 1 (02:17:01):
And then his fucking mom calls. And then his mom.

Speaker 3 (02:17:04):
Calls and he's like I do not have the mental
capacity to deal with this right now, and he starts
having another panic attack.

Speaker 1 (02:17:11):
Yeah, he doesn't pick up the phone, thank god. Yeah,
but his mom texts.

Speaker 3 (02:17:15):
Him and says, hey, we're renewing our vows this weekend,
and you're gonna be there, Like.

Speaker 1 (02:17:21):
Not a question, not inviting him, yeah, it's just saying,
literally and Cole were going to be there. You're going
to show up to the vowel noule that me and
your father are having.

Speaker 3 (02:17:31):
It's literally, your sweetheart, your father and I are renewing
our vows on the island this weekend.

Speaker 1 (02:17:36):
I expect you and Nicholas to both be here.

Speaker 3 (02:17:40):
And I'm like, wow, yeah, that sweetheart's pulling a lot there.

Speaker 1 (02:17:46):
It's a very condescending, sweetheart. Absolutely, it's it's toxic as
all hell, and Chris is spiraling again because he likes Locke.
Locke is just basically said, I think you're a mess,
and Chris is has this whole complex which I also
kind of referencing what we were talking about in the

(02:18:06):
Patroon bit. I also find very relatable that idea of
like I have to be composed, I have to be
in control, or else I will be abandoned, I will
be thrown away. I still have a problem with like crying,
even though when I was a kid there.

Speaker 3 (02:18:22):
Was no stigma against crying at all, like with my family.
But it's still like to me, like I do not
want other people to see weakness.

Speaker 1 (02:18:30):
Right, So like I get that. Yeah, it's it's very
much this idea of like if somebody sees how like
messy and how out of control I actually am, then
everyone will leave me, Yeah, because I am not worth
it just by myself and A not true, but B

(02:18:51):
he's just having the literal worst time. Yeah. And Locke
finds him, doesn't he He like finds He tracks him
down and is like whoa there, He's like breathe, He's like,
what's with me? He calms him down significantly. I think
he says something about how like this is this ain't
his first rodeo with somebody with anxiety. Yeah, so he
sounds like like I think he says it was Fanula, right.

Speaker 3 (02:19:14):
Vanula also has panic attacks, and Chris very weakly is
trying to be like, I don't have panic attacks. And
I think at this point he's like, is that what
these are? Is that what I've been having my whole
fucking life?

Speaker 1 (02:19:23):
Right? And he does. He says to Locke that is
I don't know if he says specifically it was the
night before, but he does tell Locke like, my brother
has had me do this and it worked before, like
the breathing exercise. Yeah. So yeah, and then and again
Locke is being very gentle and caring with him. Yeah.
Like all pretense of trying to be snarky and trying

(02:19:44):
to like antagonize him is thrown out the window when
Locke is trying to be like, well, no, no, hey,
now you are not good. Let me take care of you. Yeah,
and does successfully manage to calm him down again, makes
messages pro but.

Speaker 3 (02:19:58):
It does also tell him it's like, I didn't I
mean that. He's like, I didn't mean that, You're a mess,
and I didn't mean that you are a mistake. I
am dealing with so much shit right now, Like I
don't want to pull you.

Speaker 1 (02:20:07):
Into right It's like, my life is such a mess.
When I said like I didn't want to open the
door to yours or whatever, I mean, I meant that
I didn't want to involve you in my mess. Yeah,
there's way too much going on in my life. And
Chris is like, well, what if I want your mess? Yeah?
What if I want to be a part of it? Huh?
What about that? This is I love Spring Awakening, but

(02:20:30):
I hate the song my Junk. But that's that's what
we're doing. That's the vibe my Junk is you.

Speaker 2 (02:20:38):
I hate that song anyway?

Speaker 1 (02:20:39):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (02:20:41):
So, and like Locke is like really helping him out
with like the panic attack, He's also trying to help him.

Speaker 1 (02:20:49):
Like they end up like they stand up.

Speaker 3 (02:20:53):
Locke asked him about his mom because he's like, my
mom is calling and texting.

Speaker 1 (02:20:57):
Oh, And Locke is like, yeah, what's up with that?
And Chris, I don't know if he does the whole
thing with him, but he does start to break down,
like the really toxic relationship he has with his mom.

Speaker 2 (02:21:07):
Yeah, and it's bad.

Speaker 1 (02:21:09):
There's a bit where I think when he was running
away he dipped into a tent like one of the
music tents, if I remember correctly, this is he's he's
currently he has his panic attack under a tree. Okay.

Speaker 2 (02:21:19):
Locke takes him to a music tent.

Speaker 1 (02:21:20):
Got it. Yeah, because they're trying to get some like
water whatever it places it down properly.

Speaker 3 (02:21:25):
Yeah, and Cole and Cole is texting.

Speaker 2 (02:21:30):
Cole is texting.

Speaker 1 (02:21:31):
Chris and being like, Hey, I don't want to stress
you out. We're not going, Like I already talked to mom. Yeah,
I already talked to him. I told her that we're
not going and she should not contact you. Told I
talked to her. And Chris is like, that's a big
deal because because Nicholas doesn't talk to their mom, No,
he has not four years. And that's the big thing

(02:21:51):
is like his mom is constantly Chris's mom is constantly
telling him, get Nicholas to talk to me, get your
brother to talk to me. But Cole doesn't do it,
and that's why she's allegedly always so upset with Chris.
And now Cole did talk to her. Cole called her
and talked to her and told her he was not
going and that Chris was not going and she should

(02:22:12):
not talk to him, and she called Chris anyway, but
then also never mentioned that she talked to Cole. And
so Chris has this realization where it's like, it's like
it doesn't even matter to her, No, like she's been
bothering me for years and berating me for getting cold
to talk to her, but then when that finally happens,
she doesn't even say a word about it.

Speaker 2 (02:22:34):
No, because that doesn't matter to her.

Speaker 1 (02:22:35):
What matters to her as the control, Yeah, exactly, And
he has this kind of realization like that it's more
of again not explicitly stated, but it's it's that kind
of thought about like coming out of this haze of
these things that she's doing are not about me. It's
not that I am bad, it's that she needs to

(02:22:59):
be in control in some way. She is like this
and is taking it out on me, not because of
anything I do, just because that's who she is. And
he does talk to like, again, not all the gory details,
but we do find out about how I can't remember
if it was here or when he wrote the letter
later about how when Chris's mom left the whole situation

(02:23:25):
with that. What happened was that Chris was seven and
he had this habit. I think we actually were in
this earlier in the story, but he had this habit
in the morning, after their dad got up to go
to work, he would crawl in bed with his mom
and like cuddle with her for a bit before they
started their day. And so he was the first person
to actually realize she was gone because he went into

(02:23:47):
his parents' bedroom after his dad left for work and
she was not there, and all of her clothes were
gone and all of her stuff was gone, and he
didn't realize what that meant because he was seven, and
so he just like waited for her to come back,
thinking that she was going to be back any moment.
And then later a servant found him just like waiting
for her in the bedroom, and they had no idea

(02:24:10):
where his mom was, where their mother was for weeks.
It wasn't until she called them several weeks later to
be like, oh, I'm on this island, I'm blah blah
blah blah that they knew where she was or that
she was even still alive. Like there was several yeah,
there were several weeks where she just she ghosted her

(02:24:30):
family and then did not give them any invocation of
where she was or that she was even okay for
weeks with her very young sons. Yeah, both of them,
one of the ages of ten. Yeah, and Chris especially
felt very abandoned because he adored his mother. He loved
his mother, and all of a sudden she has left

(02:24:51):
him behind, no note, no care, no reason. Last book,
they mentioned that there was a bedtime story that she
was reading with Chris and he held out on finishing
it until she came back, and the hopes of like, oh,
she's going to come back and finish reading this book
for me.

Speaker 2 (02:25:08):
And the book was bridge to terabithiat traumatic first time
realizing that books didn't necessarily always have happily ever.

Speaker 1 (02:25:14):
After because he finished reading it eventually realized she was
not going to come back. Its own traumatic realization. Yeah,
finish reading it on his own. Oh no, the book
is sad. What do you mean books can be sad?
I'm eight.

Speaker 3 (02:25:27):
I like how we had this conversation in the first
book and we have it again in this book where
in the first book we're like, how is that an
appropriate book.

Speaker 2 (02:25:34):
To have your first child a child.

Speaker 3 (02:25:37):
We had that in the last book where Cole was like,
I didn't realize that that's a fucked up thing to
do to a kid. We do it again in this
book later like spoiler alert where Locke is like, how
why did.

Speaker 1 (02:25:46):
Your mother read this to you at Why didn't read
Bridge at ter Aabithia at eight years old? Yeah, that's
like the freakin' I think I mentioned to you the
story about my mom having to read where the Red
Fernd grows my sister and me. Yeah, that whole thing.
It said some thing where it's like, I don't know,
Like again, there is something to be said for like
you shouldn't try and caddle kids too much. Sure, because

(02:26:10):
if you just make everything about like, oh no, they're
not mature enough to handle this kind of content, then
they never become mature enough to handle it. But at
the same time, there are some great bedtime story Yeah,
I don't know about that. If it was a situation
where it's like the mom is there to talk with
the kid about it and their feelings about it. Sure, sure,
but he read it on his own. I also, again,

(02:26:31):
I was a childhood unfettered access to the library when
I was a youth, and there's a lot of stuff
in the children's section of the library that still goes
pretty dang hard.

Speaker 3 (02:26:41):
I love in Bob's Burger's when I don't remember what
the context is, but they're talking about a book and
Tina was like, this isn't gonna be like the Giving Tree,
is it? Because that really messed me up.

Speaker 1 (02:26:55):
It's just one of those things where like, it's this
really traumatic experience for a child to have of the
mother that they love, who they're like expecting the unconditional
love of a parent from suddenly just abandons them with
no explanation. The only thing that Chris can think of
is that he was somehow not enough for her. And

(02:27:18):
he is now tying all of these things together in
his mind about how like there's so much like sadness
and depression and internalized guilt over what happened, even though
as an adult he knows it's not his fault. Yeah,
but she constantly the only way his mom ever talks

(02:27:39):
to him is making things his fault, and so like,
now he's kind of coming out of that and he's
telling Locke some of this stuff, and Locke is like,
Jesus Christ, your mom sucks, like my parents sucked, but
not that bad. Yeah, And there's also like at this point,
he's like he is telling Lock these things, but he's
also kind of still trying to get away from Locke.

Speaker 2 (02:27:58):
And that's how I get to the music tent.

Speaker 3 (02:28:00):
Yeah, And there are reporters outside and Chris sees them,
and just all of the emotional everything that's been happening
in the last like three days just kind of comes
to a head and he's just like had it. He
goes over to the holiday tabloids and it's basically like,

(02:28:21):
you know, there was a fight yesterday that you guys
didn't even report on that the prince like broke up.
Like you have the opportunity to actually like be able
to report on things that matter, be serious journalists, be
serious journalists, and you just do not take that opportunity.

Speaker 1 (02:28:38):
Like log over here is like a great guy.

Speaker 3 (02:28:41):
He's like doing so many things for his holiday and
none of you care about all of the work that
he puts in.

Speaker 1 (02:28:47):
Like he's organizing all this stuff. Have you talked to
any of the vendors, because like they all love him. Yeah,
And he's doing all of this stuff and he's using
his magic what little magic he can to use responsibly.
Blah blah blah blah. Like Chris is reading them the
riot Act. He is going off on these journalists saying like,
you have a duty to be better journalists and actually

(02:29:07):
report the truth, and all you're focusing on is the
sensationalist BS that does nothing. Yeah, and everyone's just staring
at him like, oh god, he's going he's crashing out
a little bit, this guy. It's yeah, yeah, but it's
it's cathartic but also again shame spirally a little bit. Yeah.

(02:29:29):
Chris is like, I probably fucked up things even further.
I'm so sorry. Yeah, but Locke is I mean, Chris
is arguing on his behalf. Yeah. Locke also is conflicted
about that for reasons we'll go into later, but like
he also likes that Chris is standing up for him
because nobody does that. Yeah, people don't stand up for him.

Speaker 3 (02:29:49):
And they get into the tent and there's people who
are dancing, yes, and Locke is like, dance with me,
and Chris is like, all right, well you're said you
don't know how to dance, and they're like and he's
like fuck them.

Speaker 1 (02:30:03):
So there was a goof about them Irish dancing or
whatever when I were younger or something like that. Yeah,
and apparently Locke is bad at it, but he's like,
it's dancing.

Speaker 2 (02:30:11):
Who cares, Like, just dance with me.

Speaker 3 (02:30:14):
And while they're dancing, they had this whole conversation about
like that's like Locke is like, there's nothing wrong with you,
Like I'm the one who's the mess, And Chris actually
tells him like, last night was not a mistake, and
Locke is like, well, then what was it? And Chris
doesn't really have an ant, like, doesn't have an outward answer.
Inside he's thinking it yanked me out of a half

(02:30:36):
life i'd been living. If I don't kiss you again,
I feel like every nerve in my body will wither away.

Speaker 1 (02:30:40):
The single kiss was.

Speaker 3 (02:30:41):
More transformative, more vast, more excruciatingly important than anything that's
ever happened to me. And you're the most noble, caring
person I've ever met, and it breaks my heart that
you don't see that you're doing so spectacular.

Speaker 1 (02:30:51):
Uh gay? But he doesn't, Yeah, so gay.

Speaker 3 (02:30:54):
He doesn't say anything of that, though, and Locke is
still being like, I shouldn't have kissed you, but I'm
gonna go and make the rounds because I have to
talk to other vendors, and Chris is like the Prince thing. Yeah,
Chris is like, I uh, I don't even know what
to do. At this point, he just fucking walks out.

Speaker 1 (02:31:12):
He walks back, He walks they are not close to
the castle. No, he walks back. He's like, well, how
did it take? How and take get here? Like thirty minutes? Yeah,
I can walk that. It was a thirty minute drive.
I'm in good condition. I'm wearing a jacket this time.
I'll just walk back.

Speaker 3 (02:31:28):
Not only was he like I'll just walk back, he
ends up taking out his phone and bringing up the
notes app and just writing.

Speaker 1 (02:31:34):
He just info dumps. Yeah. He like stream of consciousness.
Everything he's feeling. He gets it all out, and it's
like it's literally like the dam's been you know, opened.
He's all of these emotions are just flowing out and
he's writing them all down. Doesn't matter if it's good,
doesn't matter what. He's just trying to get it all out. Yeah.
As he is typing and focused and walking back to

(02:31:55):
the castle. Yep, he did not tell people he was leaving. Nope,
did not anyone where he was going. None of that.
He just left and walked back. He gets there back safely. Yeah,
and when he arrives like you good, he's like you're
good man, And I think is I think it's come
calls and it's just like, yeah, he's here. I think

(02:32:15):
they also there's some texts on his phone that he
just missed where and.

Speaker 3 (02:32:19):
Then he tells them like, oh you should you should
tell the you should call them.

Speaker 1 (02:32:22):
And tell tell them that I'm here. Ye awkward. I
think he's probably also a thing about like phone signare
or whatever, but like, uh, I can't remember, well, he
doesn't have anyone's number. He doesn't have any That's true,
he doesn't have anyone's phone number.

Speaker 3 (02:32:34):
That was one of the first things that as soon
as Finn and uh.

Speaker 2 (02:32:38):
Every time Chevon, Uh what Chevin Cheven?

Speaker 3 (02:32:42):
As soon as they get home, Chavon's like, dude, what
the fuck, here's my number? Don't do that to us again,
and I think, uh, cold like gives her his number two.

Speaker 1 (02:32:51):
Yes, they exchanged because Christas. Yeah. Because there's also a
little bit where like again Lochwin's weird about it, where
he's like, are you freaking for him? My sister again,
and Chris is like, what is wrong with you? Yeah,
so many but jealousy but yeah, it's Travan. It's just
kind of like, don't do that. Here's my phone number
for emergencies. Cut that out. Yeah, but Chris is actually

(02:33:13):
feeling a little bit better after all this, like he's
had this time to sort of like walk and introspect.
He also like asked, he asked holmb for a notebook.
He went up to the library and he just started
writing down. He took like he started doing his freaking
notes app texting, but then as soon as he got
up to the to the palace, to the castle, keep
doing that. He went up to the library and he's
just like, can I have some pens and a notebook?

(02:33:35):
And I'm just gonna he just writes things down, and
it's about how he's feeling in his time here and
how he feels about literally like his parents and Cole
and even Locke. Yeah, all of his feelings about them
and a lot of the lock stuff is like very
mushy and very conflicted, but very like him coming to
terms with the fact that he's like, yeah, I do
like this, dude, YEA, I am attracted this guy. I

(02:33:57):
like him, his personality. Am I in love with him? No,
that's crazy, it's been like four days, that's wild. But
am I falling in love with him? Maybe? Who's to say?
Who is to say? And like the three siblings come back.
I don't know exactly how this happens, but so he
gives his number to Shavn and then there's like a

(02:34:18):
whole thing where Cole gives them like it's not Christa's Christas.

Speaker 2 (02:34:24):
I'm so sorry, Chris.

Speaker 1 (02:34:25):
It's not directly at Locke, but it's sort of like
Lock adjacent where he's like, here's all my favorite books
and Richie Rithias in that list. It's yeah, there was
a thing because I think what he they talk about right,
talk about they talk about the books that Locke had
given him, and he's like, I didn't realize, Like I'm
really sorry, Like I shouldn't have done that.

Speaker 3 (02:34:42):
That was such a shitty thing for me to do.
You're trying to like have me relate to your favorite books,
and Lock's like, those aren't my favorite books.

Speaker 1 (02:34:48):
Those are just like books from Irish authors or whatever. Yeah,
and Chris does give him stack. I think that was
after again, like it's this point. It's well, I think
it's because because Locke gives him a gift. No, he
doesn't do that first. Is that okay? That happens after.

Speaker 3 (02:35:06):
That happens after Okay, I don't know time. That's fine
because it happens like around the same time.

Speaker 1 (02:35:11):
It's it's basically like they they're talking about like, what
are you doing up here? My guy? And Chris Chris
is happy that he's writing. I think how we get
there is he's talking about like I'm writing again. Yeah,
he reveals that, and he talks about how he wrote
a letter to his mom. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:35:26):
So they're in the line, but Chris is still kind
of in this nebulous area where he doesn't really want
to talk. Like Locke and him are still like not
necessarily talking.

Speaker 1 (02:35:37):
They're in a weird spot. They're in a weird spot.

Speaker 3 (02:35:38):
There's a whole thing where like the next day they're
gonna do a pub crawl and Locke is like, bring
your brother and.

Speaker 1 (02:35:45):
Invite whoever you want by whoever you want to invite your.

Speaker 3 (02:35:47):
Brother boyfriend Chris Heckson and Iris to come. Yes, and uh,
Chris gives Locke like here's a list of books that
that made me.

Speaker 1 (02:35:57):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (02:35:58):
And he's in his later writing when he gets a
text from an unknown number and it's Lock and he says, uh,
you didn't, like I thought these were all kids books?

Speaker 1 (02:36:08):
What the fuck this book is depressing? Yeah, because he
written and Chris like, what do you mean you read
Bridge Terabithia already? And he's like, I didn't finish it,
but I did, like I got the vibes early on,
so I looked at the end to see what it
was like and what do you mean the little girl guys? Yeah,
And Chris is like, how dare you skip to the end?
First of all, but also like you know, these are

(02:36:29):
these are the stories. These are the kind of stories
that I grew up with. Yeah, which Locke is like,
what how how are you? How dare you? How are
the thing is dude with the with the letter that
he wrote to his mom. I think he tells Locke
about that the night before, because when he next goes
into the studio, now it's it's that same night. It's

(02:36:49):
the next night. Okay, yeah, let me. I don't really
want to look is it? Is it post? Because I
thought it was pretty Oh no, I remember what happens
because Chris. What happens. He has his conversation and Chris
that night before Yes, he goes investigating again.

Speaker 2 (02:37:06):
Yes, because he's like, I'm going.

Speaker 1 (02:37:07):
To He realizes after he has all of this, all
this drama happens. Sorry, listener, we're everywhere. After he has
all this drama and he's info dumped, all his thoughts out,
he has this heart to heart with Locked to a
certain extent, but they're still in a weird spot.

Speaker 2 (02:37:20):
They have a hard to heart about books.

Speaker 1 (02:37:21):
Yes, and Chris comes to the realization, I don't want
it to be Lock. I don't want him to be
the thief. Our magic is being stolen. I don't want
Locked to have done it. I want Malachi to done it.
Oh my god, it's been another day and I haven't
done any single and bit of investigation for this. I'm
gonna do something. I'm gonna find where they keep their joy.
And he now knows where the office is.

Speaker 3 (02:37:41):
Yes, so he's like, I bet there's like because he
went down, he hasn't seen it. He's like, I bet
there's like a secret passage or something. There's those in
the office.

Speaker 1 (02:37:47):
Gotta be sometimes passage. There's a fucking passage behind a bookshelf.
He fist bumps, he fists like pumps the air because
he's just like, yes, I'm.

Speaker 3 (02:37:54):
Thinking about Okay, do you remember Avengers Age of Ultron
uh huh. And there's the scene in the beginning where
Tony is looking for like something and he's like chanting like.

Speaker 1 (02:38:03):
Secret passy, secret patches, and then he finds he goes, yay,
that's that's right of the vibe where Chris is in
the office looking like there's got to be a secret
door in here somewhere, and he finds a bookshelf and
he's like, there's hinges on the bookshelf and he's like yes,
and so he opens it up. He's well, first he's
like looking for the mechanism that triggers it, and he's like,
it can't just be a push, right, that's too easy,

(02:38:23):
And then it is. He's like, oh my god, he's
able lucky. How lucky he just walks right in and
finds there. It's not as big and grandiose as the
Merry Measure is, but there's got plenty of magic. It's yeah,
it's a there's a machine there that takes their crystallizes
their joy. Yeah, and he can tell this is the joy.

(02:38:45):
There's a joy meter on it which like tells how
much it is, and this buppy's full. Yeah, it's got plenty.
It's just clearly Malachi has got the stragglehold on it,
like there there's no shortage of joy for Saint Patrick's Day.
And he also finds a little box, a little box
that matches the one that is plugged into the Christmas one.
It's exactly the same, except this one is transmitting and

(02:39:07):
most importantly, it's off. Yeah, it is not on right now,
so Chris doesn't know when it was turned off, but
it is not currently active. He's like, okay, I know
this is here. He gets a picture of it. Scientistical,
he sens ittaicle like I have found there. Here's the
proof that Saint Patrick's Day is stealing the magic from us.
We know for a fact it was them, but we

(02:39:28):
don't know still who was the one doing it.

Speaker 3 (02:39:32):
And he's hoping it was Malachi, and he's got he's
in his head, he's thinking about everything like if it's Malachi,
like this is what's gonna happen so that we can
get lock his crown back. And then he's like but
if it's lock, and he like sort of doesn't want
to think about it, but at the same time he's like, well,
if it's lock, Locke is doing it for the good
of his kingdom.

Speaker 2 (02:39:49):
Yes, and I can't blame him for that, right.

Speaker 1 (02:39:51):
So he's like, it'll we'll work it out. Yeah. I
don't want to be locked, but if it is, it'll
be fine. We'll work it out. Yeah. So he finishes
up this snooping. He he finds out where the joy
is being stored, and then he creeps on back to
his room. And then the next day, this is when
he wakes up with the gift. Yes, because in the

(02:40:14):
habit that Locke has established, Chris wakes up to their
being stuff gifted to him outside the door. In this case,
it is a stack of notebooks, like.

Speaker 2 (02:40:24):
A cat bringing a dead bird home.

Speaker 1 (02:40:27):
A little bit nicer than that, I think, Yeah, a
stack of notebooks and some very nice pens.

Speaker 3 (02:40:32):
And Chris very purposely does not use the notebooks, but
of course it's gonna use.

Speaker 1 (02:40:36):
Then I'm gonna use the pangs. The punds are nice,
they've got a grip, they're good pegs. Yeah, And in mind, dude,
I it's this whole vibe where like obviously it's it's
he knows that it's Lock doing it. I think there
might even be a note for this one where it's
like Cole mentioned that you were looking for some stuff,
so whatever, and he thanks Locke for it. He's just like, hey,

(02:40:57):
thank you for the gifties. But the plan is again
that we're gonna go have a pub crawl today. There's
gonna be and for whatever reason, Locke's not coming to
this one. Well they don't know that until later later,
but yeah, but he does say you can invite, invite
your brother, invite whoever you want, hit his boyfriend, because

(02:41:17):
they know that Cole was dating Hexah, so it's like
invite your boyfriend, invite or your brother his boyfriend, by
whoever you want. And he's going to invite Iris. And
Locke at this point knows who Iris is and like
the weird thing of Iris, but he's he's not really
worried about her, so he's just like, yeah, go ahead
and invite her. So Chris invites. He reaches out to

(02:41:41):
everyone's like, hey, we're gonna have a pub crawl. You
guys can come. Everyone's like super stoked, super stoked about it,
but there's a little bit of that tension still of like,
who's stealing from us? How we're gonna figure that out?
Because Chris is trying to plot with that Malachi if
he is the culprit, they don't think he's They're gonna

(02:42:01):
see him until Saint Patrick's Day at the parade because
that's his next like appearance, and so Chris is like,
how do I get a hold of this man somehow.
Also additional thing we forgot to mention earlier, Ren has
been texting the personal assistant now Cole's personal assistant. Ren

(02:42:24):
has been texting Chris like updates on how things are
going and how the public is perceiving his visit in
Saint Patrick's Day. She's been sending him links to tabloid
articles about stuff. Every morning. Chris wakes up to some
of these. This morning, he wakes up to some, but
the links are not like sensational tabloid article headlines. It's

(02:42:45):
articles about the event and how good it went.

Speaker 3 (02:42:48):
And they don't actually mention Chris's outbursts at all. No,
not realistic, but I like it anyway.

Speaker 1 (02:42:55):
They don't mention Chris's outbursts. They just talk about the event,
and they talk about like the actual fact of like
what Prince Lochlin did X, Y and Z showing him
in actually a good light for once, which does not
go unnoticed by also the rest, like by Lachlin, but
also like his sisters too. Like at this point the story,
like Finula is harting to warm up to Chris also

(02:43:18):
because she's like, oh, you actually are you care doing
good for my brother? And Shavan is like, see, I
told you, Yeah, I told you that he would be
good for him. And they also probably get the sense
that they're a little bit gay for each other, so
like there's that too. Yeah, yeah, so there's that conversation.
All of that happens. They're getting prepared for. I don't
remember if anything specific happens that morning, but they're getting

(02:43:41):
prepared for just so you know, yes, they Locke.

Speaker 3 (02:43:47):
The night before this, Locke and Chris have a whole
text conversation.

Speaker 2 (02:43:50):
We did talk about that mm but.

Speaker 3 (02:43:53):
And Locke says, you should be so lucky to have
me in your book club, your dinner, maggot. I've got
reading to do, and Chris signs off that night. The
last text message to Locke is you're you were right earlier.
I am MS, but you said you are too. It
wouldn't be easy, and I don't think you want it.

Speaker 1 (02:44:12):
Easy, and neither do I get.

Speaker 3 (02:44:14):
Locke doesn't respond, So, in fact, there's a whole thing
where he keeps looking at.

Speaker 1 (02:44:20):
His phone waiting for Locke to respond. Doesn't. Yeah, it
kind of seems like we find out later Locke is
talking to members of the court.

Speaker 3 (02:44:30):
Yeah, so the three the three Musketeers get there, Cole
Hex and Iris get there.

Speaker 1 (02:44:36):
They're all stoked. There's a whole big thing where Chris
decides that he is going to like do some kind
of psychological warfare with Locke by dressing as sexy as possible,
where he wears like criminally tight pants and like the
tightist shirt that he owns owns it says I'll lock
it for you, like it for you. It has a
candy cane on and that says I'll like it for you.
And Chris is like, I bought this as a joke,

(02:44:58):
but then as soon as I got it, I I
was like, I can't wear this because the innuendo is
too blatant. But I'm wearing it now so that I
can seduce this man. And he's getting ready, and then
like he sees Chavon and Finn and both of them
are like looking nice to go out, and he's like,
oh no, and they're like, is that what you're wearing?
And even Shavon is like no, it's fine, but not really.

(02:45:20):
And then frigging everybody else rolls up and it's a
mix of like casual and dressy, and so Chris is like, okay,
it's not that bad. I'm okay. He had a panic
about it, and he's like and they're like, well, before
we go out, we're gonna paint our faces because that's
like a thing. Yes, But Locke also says he's not
going out. He says he's not going out as he's
painting Chris's face, yes.

Speaker 3 (02:45:41):
Because because he says that, because Chris is like, well,
it's only fair if you're painting my face that I
get to paint yours.

Speaker 1 (02:45:46):
Yeah, And Locke is like, well, I'm not going out
with you guys. I'm not going I'm not going to pug.

Speaker 2 (02:45:50):
And his sisters are like scandalized, like what the fuck
do you mean?

Speaker 1 (02:45:53):
What do you mean?

Speaker 3 (02:45:54):
But then he says like, I'm not going out because
I'm having a meeting with UH with these families, and
I don't remember their names, but and the sisters are
excited because they're like, oh, you're finally doing what we've
been telling you to do.

Speaker 1 (02:46:06):
Yeah, so they like they're stoked.

Speaker 2 (02:46:12):
Finn is now having a gay panic about.

Speaker 1 (02:46:14):
Iris in the sense yeah that because like Iris pretty Yeah,
Iris pretty woman.

Speaker 3 (02:46:19):
So now I'm conflicted, like do I want Iris to
end up with someone else or do I want her
to end up with Finn.

Speaker 1 (02:46:25):
I don't enough about Finn.

Speaker 3 (02:46:26):
I don't know enough about it about though their whole
interaction in this story is very cute for sure.

Speaker 1 (02:46:31):
If they if they want to go if like if
the author wants to go that way, I'm here for it.
I just don't know enough yet about Finn to be like,
oh I ship it immediately. Yeah, because like we've seen her,
she is a secondary character, but the story has not
focused on her over much, and a lot of the
time has focused on her has been her being hostile
at Chris. Yeah, So like I'm not I'm not you know,

(02:46:53):
anti Finn is a person, but I'm not especially endeared
to her.

Speaker 2 (02:46:56):
Yet not anti Finn.

Speaker 3 (02:46:57):
My whole thing is I still want to know more
about other holiday. So it's like we already know about
Saint Patrick now, so I'm not necessarily like like.

Speaker 1 (02:47:05):
The alternative book. Finn and Iris stay in touch after this,
and they start like being penpal forty a little bit,
and Finn like they want to take their relationship to
the next level to actually being like dating, and she
has to visit Easter Easter to like, see.

Speaker 3 (02:47:24):
I would get the insight on what's with Easter, We'd
get all the insight about what's up with Iris's sister
and the Valentine's Day prints and all that drama.

Speaker 1 (02:47:31):
While Finn and Iris are trying to negotiate their growing relationship,
maybe maybe maybe possibly possibly could be cute, Yeah, could
be cute. That would make her and Chris if they
ended up getting married, that would make them in lass,
which would be cute. That would cute. Yeah, anyway, everybody's

(02:47:52):
getting married, yay, except not really. Everyone's just dating right now,
doesn't no one's no one's married. No one's married. So
everybody's paying their faces or talking about how like it's
a badge of honor because you painted the beginning of
the night and then you see how messed up it
is at the end after the pup Crawl, Yeah, and
lovel and Hex are being kind of sweet about it,
but they're all making out in the corner, yeah, constantly.

(02:48:15):
And it's funny because like that's something that they were
doing in the first book, but now you get to
see it from an outside point of view of just like, oh, yeah,
that's we're freaking just making out in the corner. Yeah.
But no, it's also like Cole to the rest of
the Patrick family is being like switching back and forth
between being like, ha ha, I'm silly, but also I am,
in fact the King of Christmas. I am the Santa. Yeah,

(02:48:37):
and Chris remarks that like Cole's good at this, actually,
like he's good at being in charge. There's like an
air to him that he's developed about this. But they
go out on the pup crawl, everyone stoked that Locke
is now actually talking to the courts because this is
something Chris encouraged him to do, where he's like, if
you show people how good you are at this, you

(02:48:58):
can get people on your side, your reputation can improve.
They will side with you against Malachi if you ever
want to take your power back. And they rest of
everybody goes out, they go from place to place. Hex
doesn't drink really, so he's not Chris doesn't either. Chris
Cheers is not too either because and this is a
smart move. He has gotten drunk every single night so
far since he's been here, and he's like, I'm going

(02:49:20):
to not do that. He actually, I think he makes
the decision even because he's not drinking. He's like, I'm
going to fine Locke when we get back. Yes, guys,
I want to.

Speaker 2 (02:49:29):
Talk to him non drunk conversation.

Speaker 1 (02:49:31):
I want to have a sober chat with this man.
And I think that like Cole maybe has a drink
or two, but he's mostly not drinking. Iris gets wasted.

Speaker 2 (02:49:40):
Iris gets riggedy, riggedy what.

Speaker 1 (02:49:45):
She gets freaking wasted. Yeah, but they're all having like
all the girls are having a good time and the
guys are having a good time too, Like they're all
chatting in Cranberry's there, they're having it. They're going from
place to place, like the Finola seems to be warming
up to Chris, like they're including him and stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:50:00):
I mean, she's warming up to Chris.

Speaker 1 (02:50:01):
She's freakin gay, she's she's lessing out, she's lessing will
over over. Iris, there's just.

Speaker 2 (02:50:08):
The concentration of gay in this generation.

Speaker 1 (02:50:11):
There's a lot of there's a lot of homosexual energy
or bisexual energy. Yeah, we don't know about Finula for sure.
We know that Iris, it's gay energy because yes, yeah,
there's there's a lot. Chavon's here for a good time. Yeah.
And also like Iris and Chris talk to each other
and like dance. Iris is wasted, but they dance and

(02:50:33):
she's like, how are you? Like you look good? What's up?
It's been so long since I feel like we talked
to you. And Chris actually, like in the middle of
dancing and scream singing with her on the dance war,
he's like, I'm writing a book. He hasn't started writing
it yet, but he has in his brain. He's like,
I'm finally going to write the book that I want
to write. And she's like, oh my god, that's awesome.
And he's like, Iris, if I wrote a book, would
you draw the characters for it like we did when

(02:50:55):
we were Cares the terrifying googly eyes though, just just
drawing the characters, and Iris is like yes, She's like
crying happy.

Speaker 3 (02:51:02):
Like she she texts it in the group chat, so
that she was like, your Iris are Iris.

Speaker 1 (02:51:09):
This is drunk Iris. Like you you're gonna draw drawing
some You're gonna draw Chris's characters for him. Yeah. Like
she's like, I'm doing this so I don't forget. But
she is clearly just like like Chris is like having
this kind of like semi important realization conversation with her,
and she is really supportive, but is in fact slosh
out of her mind. Yeah, So like she at some

(02:51:31):
point completely just diverts and he's like, oh yeah, she's
really drunk. Yeah, I guess we're just doing this now, ye,
And like they don't get to linger on it. But
it's a fun night and they have a really fun time.
And at the end of it, it's like Finn and
Iris are like holding each other up. Finn's really gay
about it. Chavn is just like, hee, I'm having a
fun time. Hex And and Cole are completely sober, but

(02:51:53):
they're just enjoying themselves, also making out in the corner soberly.
Just they just do that regardless. Everybody has a very
fun time and they make it. They make it back
to the castle. Yeah, yeah, they see them off. They
see yeah. Cole and and Hex and Iris off. They're like,
we'll take Iris home, don't worry about it, Chris, you good?

(02:52:13):
And Chris is like yeah, I'm good. And Cole's like okay,
love you, bro Maye and they all leave. Yeah, And then.

Speaker 3 (02:52:21):
Chris decides to go find Locke and he has a
feeling he knows exactly where he is.

Speaker 1 (02:52:24):
He's going to track him down to the studio. To
the studio. Now, yes, they tracked him down to the
studio and Locke is their painting. He's doing a paint
and hang on, wow, how does the sequence of events happen?
He begins by like he takes note of the painting.
It's a different one than before. It's a different, smaller

(02:52:45):
painting than before of some people dancing, I believe. And
he asks Lock like Loge asked him, Like how the
night went? And Chris is like it was good. They
start talking about like how do you know how the
conversation with the court went well? And he's like.

Speaker 3 (02:53:02):
Chris comes in and is like I want to like
want to have a conversation and Locke is like, you're drunk.
I'm not having a conversation with you, right, Yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (02:53:08):
Chris like, I am, in fact not drunk. I'm in
fact him very sober. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:53:14):
So it's like, so you were out in Belfast for
how long with that girl of yours Iris, I'm pretty
sure she would have entertained the idea of going home
with Finn if she hadn't been so drunk herself. And
that earns me a startled frown Finn. He swallows the
surprise of the grunt.

Speaker 2 (02:53:25):
Good on Finn, good on her.

Speaker 1 (02:53:28):
Yeah, so the supporting siblings, Yeah, they have a conversation,
like Chris wants to talk about a the Court, the
state of the Kingdom, and then b them, yes, what
are we? What are we? What are we? And he's
pushing Locke to act. He's like, you can do this,

(02:53:48):
like because Locke says that the conversation with the Court
actually went well, like they didn't know what he was
up to. They kind of bought into the propaganda against
him that he was like a freaking deadbeat, that he
wasn't good at this, that he wasn't ready to be
the leader. But that's the freaking that's the lock from
several years ago, and he was a grieving team. Now

(02:54:09):
he is an adult man, who kind of has stuff
more in control, and he's able to sort of open
a lot of people's minds about that and show them
what he's doing, which they're impressed by. And Chris is like,
you can seize the means of production. You can literally
you can take it, and.

Speaker 3 (02:54:29):
I think they do start making out, and Locke pulls
back and is like, I need to tell you something, yeah,
and Chris is like I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:54:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:54:40):
Chris is like later tomorrow, we'll talk about it tomorrow,
Like we don't need to talk about it right now,
like I swear to you will talk about it tomorrow.
Because Chris in his head is like, he's the one
that's been stealing from us, but I know why he's
been doing it, and it's fine. I can get over it,
Like I just I don't want to deal with this
right now.

Speaker 1 (02:54:55):
And then from based on the way that Chris says it,
Locke kind of at least this is the impression I got,
is that Locke realizes that Chris knows about them stealing
the magic why that's not talked about yet. Chris thinks
he knows why, and so he that's why he's just
kind of like, don't worry about it, and Locke is

(02:55:15):
just kind of like, oh, so you, to a certain
extent are aware this is happening. Yeah, so if you
are gonna say that you don't care, then tonight at least,
I'm not gonna question that. Yeah. And so they start
making out. They start making out, and they start grinding again.
They start taking clothes off. Yep, there's paint everywhere.

Speaker 2 (02:55:37):
There is paint everywhere.

Speaker 1 (02:55:38):
There's paint everywhere.

Speaker 3 (02:55:39):
And then after they there's paint everywhere.

Speaker 1 (02:55:43):
Forgetting there's paint on dis like, not intentionally at the
very least, because that seems unhygienic, but it does happen.
There's like they go to the ground. There's a lot
of good boy, I'm over here, like, yes, no, we
get it. Chris has a praise kink I understand. There
there's a lot of like freaking Locke holding him down

(02:56:04):
and humping him. There's a lot happening.

Speaker 3 (02:56:06):
He somehow get some clothes on and make it back
to is it Chris's room.

Speaker 1 (02:56:12):
They spend they fall asleep there though, on the floor,
they do, but they wait.

Speaker 3 (02:56:15):
They wake wake up a little while later because I
think it's a little dark outside. When they wake up
because Chris is like, fuck, we're gonna have to go
through the castle like this, and Locke was like, there's
no one else up, don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 (02:56:25):
Let's just let's just get back up to the room. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:56:27):
And they keep going.

Speaker 3 (02:56:29):
But this is also when they have this big like
Chris is like, I want to show you.

Speaker 2 (02:56:35):
That I've been writing again.

Speaker 3 (02:56:36):
Yeah, And he goes into his journal and he specifically
tears out this letter that.

Speaker 1 (02:56:42):
He had written to his mom. Yes, and it's like,
I'm never.

Speaker 3 (02:56:45):
Sending this to her. I just needed to get it down,
and Locke is like, Locke reads it and is like
very moved by everything that Chris said.

Speaker 1 (02:56:53):
Because it's Chris getting out a lot of feelings about
feeling abandoned and betrayed by his mom. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:56:57):
And Locke is like, you should send this to her,
and Chris says, no, it doesn't matter because she It's like,
ultimately it doesn't matter because she's not going to change.
I just needed to get it out.

Speaker 1 (02:57:08):
This letter was for me, it's not for her. Yeah.
They may again, and then they bang again, but this
time with Lou with lu so this time there's actual
but there's butt stuff happening. There's butt stuff happenings. But
it's very it's very like I want to say, tender,
but also not tender, if you know what I'm saying.
It is both tender and not. Like there they are

(02:57:30):
so like aggressively into each other, very similar tonight or
for Christmas. There is no somebody forgets how to speak
English because they're notting so hard in this book, which
is to me a little sad. It would be funny,
but but forgot that happened. Yeah, Hex forgot how to
speak English because he was nothing so hard, which I
love that trope, very funny to me. Yeah. No, they

(02:57:52):
they have a very like emotional intimate moment where they
have sex and like by the end of that Chris
is like, I think I love him. Yeah, And my goodness,
that's crazy, honey. That's the endorphins talking. Yeah, honey, that's
the that's the endorphins talking. My boy, you're getting cuddled
and you're like into that for the first time ever.

(02:58:14):
But it's very much also a thing we didn't mention
this when they wake up after the first time, when
Chris wakes up on the floor of the studio, he
wakes up to Finn drawing him. Yeah, uh notin not
fin sorry, Lock Lock drawing him, Yes, my apologies, kicks
us a lock drawing him, And then they go up
because Lock woke up earlier, put pants on, whatever, gets

(02:58:36):
him up to the room. They have round two. There's
there's there's.

Speaker 2 (02:58:40):
Oh wait, we missed this because this was as they
were on.

Speaker 1 (02:58:43):
No it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (02:58:43):
Never mind it is the next morning, okay, it is.

Speaker 1 (02:58:46):
After round two. Yeah, they wake up again. They go
to sleep in Chris's room, like cuddling like fully like
intimate relationships kind of style stuff, and Chris is very
much like, I, yeah, I might be in love with
this guy. Yeah, who is again service topping the hell

(02:59:07):
out of him. Yeah, this man is dombing him backwards
and forwards. They wake up and.

Speaker 3 (02:59:14):
Put on clothes and they're they're they're by themselves, walking
through the castle and they get to and like because
Cole Chris kept saying like tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, so like
walking through the cast and.

Speaker 1 (02:59:25):
Like get to the office because now it's finally tomorrow
to have the talk, and Chris is like.

Speaker 2 (02:59:29):
I know what's going to happen.

Speaker 3 (02:59:30):
Well, the first thing that happens is that because the
power transfer had never fully took because it wasn't done joyfully.

Speaker 1 (02:59:37):
Yes, he can basically just reverse it. And this is
the thing that they talked about earlier where where Locke
was telling Chris about Malachi and how Malachi took power
when he was, you know, having this bad time, and
how he kind of convinced Locke he wasn't good as
a leader. And part of the conversation that they were
having where Chris was like, no, you can do this

(02:59:58):
is him being like, if the if you were not
joyfully giving over the power, that might be the explanation
for why you still have access to it. Yea, Like,
why you're still able to use it is because you never,
like joyly and willingly gave it over to begin with.
So you should just be able to steal it back,
not even steal, like take it because it's yours. And

(03:00:21):
at first Locke was not into that idea. He was
afraid of that idea. But now he's like, you're right,
I talked to the court. I want to try that.
I want to do it.

Speaker 3 (03:00:31):
And it's like Chris is like, do you want your
sisters here in? Locke is like no, And there is
a moment when Chris is hoping.

Speaker 1 (03:00:37):
Like that this is what he wanted to talk about. Yeah,
where it's like hope against hope. Maybe he isn't the thief,
maybe I was wrong.

Speaker 3 (03:00:44):
But as soon as the power transfer happens, because it
happens pretty quickly, and Locke goes down and like picks
up the device and hands it over to Chris and
is not surprised but figures out. It's like this is
this is why you're actually here, right, and you're not

(03:01:05):
you're not mad at me, like Gluck is like, you're
not mad at me? And Chris says, no, I get it,
Like it's like I get why.

Speaker 2 (03:01:12):
It happened, and the thing is the figure it out,
and then they kiss again.

Speaker 1 (03:01:18):
They do kiss again, but the thing is, though they
don't like obviously, the power transfer does not go unnoticed
by Malachi, who is he shows up upset about it,
and he shows up to ruin everything because I don't
think anything super important happens in between then and now
because it happens very quickly. Huh.

Speaker 2 (03:01:39):
Oh, they fuck again and.

Speaker 1 (03:01:40):
They're like going over Chris's tattoos. Oh that's true, talk
about the tattoos.

Speaker 3 (03:01:45):
He does there's the one tattoo because he's got a couple.
He's got one that is connected to him and Cole,
which is once more onto the breach, Yes.

Speaker 1 (03:01:54):
The thing that they routinely say. This is like a
a call in response thing that he knew each other have.

Speaker 2 (03:02:00):
But also he's got one on his thigh, which is
like a thing that he teased.

Speaker 3 (03:02:04):
Earlier because Locke was like, where's like, can I see
your tattoos? And Chris is like, if you're lucky, there's
one you might be able to see because it goes.

Speaker 1 (03:02:11):
All the way up his thigh when they were absolute
mad behavior, but when they were like add the fun
run and he was helping like bandage up Chris's knees.
When he saw the tattoos begin with and started asking
about them, we didn't, I was thinking as we were talking,
like we didn't mention the tattoo thing. But it's coming
back up now. Yeah, he's got another one, which is
the freaking Bridge Terabithia scene, which is like on his

(03:02:32):
inner thigh. Yeah, and it's like my guy wild behavior
to have this, which is like a poignant piece that
is like related to his relationship with his mom because
it's an image of like it's Cambridge to Terabithia. Yeah,
I said that. Oh sorry, it's it's a kid on
the on the rope, yeah, trying to swing across and
there's like a bridge halfway across that starts in that

(03:02:54):
in the true the very cinematic scene from the from
the book and also from the movie. Yeah, where like
the idea that the bridge itself doesn't exist, but it
like they as soon as they cross over, they enter
this realm of their imagination. Yea. And Locke is looking
at it and he's like the boy, the kid who's flying,
who's crossing the river, is going to fall. He's not

(03:03:16):
gonna Like it's too short the way this is drawn,
he would not make it to the bridge. And Chris
is like, oh, you're the first person to notice that. Yeah,
because he purposefully designed it and work with the He
didn't tell the tattoo artist about this apparently, but like
the way that he had it designed. The rope is

(03:03:38):
not long enough for the kid in the which is
little Chris. It's like a silhouette, but it's a ment
to represent Chris himself is not going to make it
to the bridge, Yeah, which is messed up. It's like, hey, depressing,
this is depressed. Why did you not go to therapy soon? Yeah,
you seem to at least acknowledge some parts of how

(03:03:58):
you are traumatized, for sure. Yeah. But so.

Speaker 2 (03:04:04):
They have that scene.

Speaker 3 (03:04:05):
They there's more tender loving and also like sexy talk
and things like that.

Speaker 1 (03:04:12):
It's very much the point of all of these scenes
is to really hone in the idea of like Chris
finally letting somebody else take care of him. Yes, he's
been pushing back against Locke, trying to feed him, trying
to make him drink water, trying to do anything like
to take care of him, and in these moments, he's
finally letting him do that, and Chris finding a lot

(03:04:33):
of like relief in that and letting somebody else kind
of just like take care of him and be in
charge for a bit.

Speaker 2 (03:04:41):
So Malick he notices pretty quickly though.

Speaker 1 (03:04:44):
That he's been cut off from Magic. Yeah, and he
comes back to the castle pretty fucking irate. Hey, I
didn think he has to drive though, because he can't
teleport anymore, so he just has to, like freaking it
takes him a bit because he has to drive there.

Speaker 3 (03:04:56):
Yeah, And Chavn and Finn are are there and they're
like witnessing this conversation happen.

Speaker 1 (03:05:06):
Because the argument happened, Maliki comes to hunt them down
and they meet him in the in the foyer of the.

Speaker 3 (03:05:11):
Castle because Maliki is still like, I'm gonna throw you out,
and Locke is like, you can't. It's not yours, Like
you don't have any power here anymore. Yeah, this is
all mine and I should have done this a while
ago and I didn't, and I regret that I didn't,
but I'm doing it now. And Chris is right behind
him to like support him.

Speaker 1 (03:05:26):
Chris is being very like yeah, yeah the whole time,
and Malachi is like, you really want to do this
right now. You want to have this conversation.

Speaker 2 (03:05:33):
You want to do this, And here's my thing.

Speaker 1 (03:05:36):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (03:05:38):
When I was reading the book, I was like, oh,
this is so good because it's like you did make
it so that Locke was the one who was stealing
from it.

Speaker 1 (03:05:42):
But it's like really cool.

Speaker 2 (03:05:43):
The way you're like, it's kind of like it wasn't
there isn't just.

Speaker 1 (03:05:46):
Like a bad guy.

Speaker 3 (03:05:47):
That's like very like obviously Malachi is obviously a bad guy,
but it wasn't just like the bad guy's doing all
this shit.

Speaker 1 (03:05:53):
It was like the person who actually did this crime
was a good person, but he was doing it for
noble reasons. Blah blah blah blah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:06:00):
Yeah, but there's a twist.

Speaker 1 (03:06:01):
But there's a twist because Malachi sees Chris, sees like
Chris and Locke together, Plock's immediately what's happened? Yeah, and
it's like, oh.

Speaker 3 (03:06:14):
Good, you went through with our plan, and Locke is
like fucking still yeah, And Malachi says, the plan was
to seduce the Christmas Prince so that he wouldn't look
into what we were doing, because.

Speaker 1 (03:06:32):
You because what he'd be more forgiving about it, more forgiving. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:06:35):
Because the thing is Locke was not taking joy from
Christmas in order to help his holiday. He was taking
it from Christmas because Malachi was forcing him to pay
back what he had done the year before.

Speaker 1 (03:06:46):
Yes, he'd Smegan. Malachi had basically instilled that there was
some kind of debt from the amount of magic that
that Locke had seized before, and he was threatening that
he will throw them out if Lock didn't pay it back,
especially after the Tinsel incident that was a kind of
inciting incident where Malachi was able to leverage that to

(03:07:11):
really make Locke feel like crap. Yep. And so Locke
actively chose to steal the magic from Christmas to give
it to Malachi, thinking that this was like a victimless
crime essentially.

Speaker 3 (03:07:25):
So it wasn't one of them doing it, it was
both of them working together.

Speaker 2 (03:07:29):
And that's what breaks Chris, yes.

Speaker 1 (03:07:31):
Because also the whole idea was that, like when they
heard that Chris was going to be arriving, Malachi mentioned
to Locke, oh, hey, if you seduce him, they're probably
here to find because we're stealing their magic, right, But
if you seduce him, then they probably won't be that
mad at you because he's making this all Lock's fault yep.

(03:07:55):
And yeah, Chris is devastated, and.

Speaker 2 (03:07:58):
That's what rules stop for a little bit break.

Speaker 1 (03:08:00):
Okay, all right, but let's get this boy, this bad boy.
We're in the home stretch. The betrayal has happened. The
betrayals is devastated, Yeah, understandably so yeah, and mount uh
malachot Malchi Malachi leaves. Yeah, he's smug about it, but

(03:08:21):
he's also still like Locke is like, get out, I'm
the king. Now leave my castle. This is my castle,
this is my kingdom, this is my holiday. Leave.

Speaker 3 (03:08:28):
Malachi is sort of like you took me down, but
I'm taking you down with me. Yeah, like because I
can see what happened here, m m.

Speaker 1 (03:08:35):
And he like, I think he knows that, like.

Speaker 3 (03:08:37):
Locke was not going to ever listen to him about
that ship because that's so shitty. Yeah, but he knows that,
like saying that fucks everything up.

Speaker 1 (03:08:44):
The least I can do in this moment is ruin
your butting relationship, yep. And Chris just dips, like Locke
is trying to chase after him. Chris goes up to
his room that he's staying in, starts packing all his stuff,
locks on the other side of the door, and Locke
is just kind of like, let me in, Chris, we
can talk about this, and Chris is like, I don't
need to because I got teleportation magic sucker. So he

(03:09:05):
just like turns the en suite door into a portal
back to Christmas and just goes home.

Speaker 3 (03:09:11):
He goes home and immediately panic attack. And now he's
like admitting, like, right, that's what these are. These are
I'm having a panic attack.

Speaker 1 (03:09:17):
That's what they have been.

Speaker 2 (03:09:17):
The whole time.

Speaker 1 (03:09:18):
Yeah, and thankfully there are people there. Like Cole is
the holes there and he's like, oh, buddy, apparently there's
like a new security system in their their palace, so
that's like early morning or something yeah for them when
this is like five am or something stupid like that.
And like the security system does not alert them to
Chris's arrival because he's kind of like meant to be there. Yeah,

(03:09:41):
but it's supposed to be keeping people out, like they've
been doing some stuff to upgrade the palace, but they
I think it's like Wren who finds him first because
she's awake. Yeah, I can't remember exactly, like doesn't matter.
Everybody who is there comes to help Chris and to
like comfort him and be like what's wrong. What happened?

Speaker 2 (03:10:00):
And he's like he can't talk.

Speaker 1 (03:10:02):
Yeah, he's having such a moment. Yeah, And Cole goes up.

Speaker 2 (03:10:06):
To immediately is like, all right, I'm gonna help you.

Speaker 3 (03:10:10):
Yeah, like you're might Like Ren is kind of stepping
back and being like, all right, this is this is
a family affair. I think Chris does get something out
about the betrayal, like not a whole lot, but he
gets enough out because and.

Speaker 1 (03:10:22):
He also explains that it was Locke who stole their magic. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (03:10:25):
Yeah, because Cole is trying to get him up to
bed up the stairs and Locke appears and is like
begging to talk to to.

Speaker 1 (03:10:35):
Chris and Cole is not having it. Col is like,
get the fuck out of here. Cole is very much
like I will kill you. Yeah, He's like, it's it's
the energy.

Speaker 2 (03:10:43):
Is very like they'll never find your body, yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (03:10:47):
Like I know how to hide something so that they'll
never find it in Yeah, it's it's very much the energy,
and it's very clear that like when when Chris says
that it was like Locke was the one who's stealing it,
Cole has that very like oh oh my sweet baby brother,
like more sad for Chris's sorrow than he is about
like Locke actually doing it. Yeah. But then yeah, he

(03:11:09):
turns all of his fury on Lock.

Speaker 3 (03:11:10):
So this whole confrontation happens where Cola is like I'm
gonna kill you, yeah, and Locke says he deserves an explanation, and.

Speaker 1 (03:11:19):
Cola is like, get the fuck out.

Speaker 3 (03:11:20):
He's not gonna forgive you, and Locke says, I don't
expect him to forgive me. I just think he deserves
an explanation.

Speaker 1 (03:11:26):
Yeah, And so Chris is like, fine, like what is
your explanation? And he said and Lock goes on and says,
do you remember how Saint Patrick's day magic has its
basis and luck for months?

Speaker 2 (03:11:38):
Chris months it told me to go to that study room.

Speaker 1 (03:11:40):
So I went. I went, and some asshole kept swiping
it for me. But I went back and back and then.

Speaker 3 (03:11:45):
You and fuck me. I knew as soon as I
opened the door and saw you. And Chris is like,
you knew who I was? And Locke is like, no,
I meant that I knew that you were what my
magic was trying to get me to you. And you
were such an obstinate prick right from the gate, and
I couldn't help.

Speaker 1 (03:12:00):
Foot fall for you. There is a bit at the
very beginning when I went back, because I always try
to like go back to the beginning and read it
again to remind myself what happened. There is a very
big part of the beginning, or not big, but there's
a part of the beginning where Locke says, oh, so
you're the one and Chris like, what do you mean?
And he's like, you're the one who's been stealing the
room for me. But it's like in that moment, I

(03:12:20):
was like, ah, yes, ah, yes, this is I've been
looking for you. Yeah kind of simwhar vibes similar vibes
for sure. Yeah, So like Locke gives them the explanation
of like Malaki was furious about the joy we stole.

Speaker 2 (03:12:32):
He was gonna throw all of us out. He was
gonna he was gonna.

Speaker 1 (03:12:34):
Pull uh the from both them out of college, Like yeah,
I got a scholarship, but both of them were gonna
get we were gonna be destitute basically, So we knew
what had happened and Christmas, and we knew that you
had a lot of joy to spare and that you
wouldn't miss it.

Speaker 3 (03:12:48):
So he got the devices and then I agreed and
says I'm sorry I was lying. I will pay sorry
about that. I will pay you back. Yeah, And I
didn't know who you were until your assistant reached out
about your apology, and Maliki was pushing for you to
stay longer to make me figure out what you knew
about the theft. And when I started to realize what
I had done. I didn't stop it when I should have.

(03:13:09):
I thought my magic had been wrong and that you
were not meant for me like that, I didn't turn off.
I did not turn off the device until the night
I kissed you in the kitchen. But I knew the
damage had been done. The damage was done before you
even set foot in my castle. And I got to
know you, and I tried, and I tried so hard
not to fall for you. But Jesus Christ Christ, I
was not lying here, my dream guy, And I was
terrified every moment I was with you, because I didn't

(03:13:29):
know how to tell you what Malachie and I had done.
And I still don't. I don't know how. And then
they go on and it was like you It's like
Locke was saying, I tried to resist you, yeah, and
Chris is like.

Speaker 2 (03:13:41):
You didn't tell me though, right, tell me what was happening.

Speaker 1 (03:13:44):
And that's the big problem, because yeah, there's multiple times
when Locke is pulling away and trying to be like, no,
this is a mistake, I'm not right for you. He's
clearly his guilt is overcoming him, but he never fesses
up about it, and that is the big issue.

Speaker 2 (03:13:58):
And he kind of he ends on saying.

Speaker 3 (03:14:01):
He ends his decoration to Chris by saying, I don't
expect you to get over what I kept from you,
what I did, I don't deserve you, but I am sorry, Chris,
and you do deserve that an apology, and you deserve
to know that I will never forgive myself if I'm
someone who hurt you and I'm despairingly in love with you,
and I can't bear to be both those things at once.

Speaker 1 (03:14:18):
It's been four days, bro, it's been four days. But
also again, didn't need to go that hard, didn't need
to go that hard, didn't need to go that hard man,
But bang, Sarah, And.

Speaker 3 (03:14:27):
Chris says, go back to your holiday. Yeah, like go back,
you have a holiday secure and just walks away, and
Cola is like, get the fuck out right now before.

Speaker 1 (03:14:34):
I murder you. I will kill you. Still freeze your.

Speaker 2 (03:14:37):
Ass where you stand, and Locke leaves.

Speaker 1 (03:14:39):
He does because the whole point he was being honest about,
like he doesn't want he's not expecting Chris to forgive him.

Speaker 2 (03:14:48):
But he doesn't want to give him an explanation.

Speaker 1 (03:14:49):
He does want to explain. He does want to apologize
because that's it. He is truly thinking you deserve that. Yeah,
at least, and so we get the we get the
twilight months going by thing. But it's not months, it's
like weeks. It's not even it's a couple of days,
because more than a couple it's yes, it is because
there's Saint Patrick's say happens. Yes, and then there is

(03:15:11):
a coronation, and it's like there's a lot of shifting.

Speaker 3 (03:15:15):
Things are changing, planning happening. But chris Is stays in
Christmas Palace, he.

Speaker 1 (03:15:21):
Writes, He writes, Iris comes to like talk to him.
He doesn't go back to school.

Speaker 3 (03:15:28):
No, the term starts up again, and he just doesn't
go back because he's like, he realizes I was.

Speaker 1 (03:15:32):
Miserable there, and nobody's pushing him to pursue that at allt.

Speaker 3 (03:15:36):
And calls him back, trying to just get him to
stay in the room and just like decompress.

Speaker 1 (03:15:40):
Yeah, because he's like, stop trying to do things, stop
trying to be useful or be helpful, just focus on you.
Just relax. And during this time, it's a few weeks later,
well the Magic three, the magic gets returned in this time.

Speaker 3 (03:15:54):
Yeah, Los sends back a thing that gives them back
all their magic at once.

Speaker 1 (03:15:58):
Yes, they're able to get it all. He puts his
money where his mouth is and he returns all the
magic that was stolen. And then a few weeks past, and.

Speaker 3 (03:16:06):
Then a few weeks past, and Chris is in his
room writing. He's got his laptop now, he has not touched.

Speaker 1 (03:16:13):
The notebooks still. I think he has them, but he
hasn't touched them. And so he's been writing.

Speaker 3 (03:16:18):
On his laptop and Cole comes in with Iris and
Cola is like wearing this really nice suit, and Chris
is trying to remember, like what fucking day of the
week it is and what's going on? Yeah, and Cola
is like, there's a meeting with their Into collective and
Chris is like, holy shit, are you like signing it?
And He's like, we're not signing anything today, it's just
like a meeting. And Chris is like, well, give me
a few minutes, let me get dressed, and I'll like

(03:16:38):
I'll go. And Cola's like, no, you're not listening to
me that I do not need you to come with me,
and Chris kind of hammers on need you don't need me?

Speaker 1 (03:16:50):
Yea?

Speaker 3 (03:16:51):
And Cola is like, that's I don't I need you
to be better? Yeah, is like the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (03:16:55):
He's like, I don't need you there in that meeting.
I need you to be better, I need you to
be my and I need you to be okay. I
don't need you to be in this instance.

Speaker 3 (03:17:05):
I'll always need you in my life and I will
always need you there with.

Speaker 1 (03:17:08):
Me, but in this instance, I just need you to
be okay. Yeah, And that hits home for Chris.

Speaker 3 (03:17:14):
Yeah, and Iris is there because Cole was like, I
thought you might need extra help today because it's the
day of the coronation.

Speaker 1 (03:17:22):
Yes, of Lachlan's coronation, right.

Speaker 3 (03:17:25):
And there's this really sweet moment during this the week's
leading up to this that we forgot to mention, where
Hex finds Chris and explains to him like, hey, I
have an inkling of what you're going through right now,
because if you will remember, I had my own gay
panic last Christmas.

Speaker 1 (03:17:46):
Yes, And he was like, at.

Speaker 3 (03:17:48):
The time, I made the decision for my holiday instead
of for myself, and I regret that if I could
do it all again, I would make the decision for
myself first, and that decision would always be to go
back to Cole and Chris is like, but that, it's
like our situations are different, like that's not what happened here.

(03:18:09):
And Hex was like, look, I'm just telling you, like,
do what is right for you. Don't think about how
it affects other people. Yeah, don't think about how it
affects everyone else.

Speaker 1 (03:18:20):
Everyone's going to be okay, everyone's going to be okay.
Just do what's right for you.

Speaker 3 (03:18:23):
Yeah, And Chris sits on that for a few weeks
because Hext tells him that, like I think the day.

Speaker 1 (03:18:28):
He returns or pretty soon after.

Speaker 3 (03:18:31):
After, and so Chris kind of sits on that, and
it's the day of the coronation. He's there, Iris is there.

Speaker 1 (03:18:37):
They're talking and at some point like what is it they?
What is like Chris is trying to figure out what
does being happy feel like? What is like? What is happiness?
What is happily ever after? What is happily ever after
for me? Like not this feeling that I don't even

(03:18:59):
know about that it's like I tried to write about,
Like what is that in reality?

Speaker 2 (03:19:04):
What is the happiness ever after?

Speaker 1 (03:19:06):
In reality?

Speaker 2 (03:19:09):
So Cole asked him like are you happy?

Speaker 3 (03:19:13):
And it's like, do you think that you would be
happy like Cole is like, I'm fucking pissed it in,
But would you be happy with Lock? Like is that
what makes you happy? And because Cole is like, look,
you keep thinking.

Speaker 1 (03:19:26):
Everyone's gonna leave you. I'm not gonna leave you.

Speaker 3 (03:19:28):
Iris is not gonna leave you, like We're always gonna
be here. And I bet that Lock wouldn't leave you either. Yes,
it's like you're worth like Chris, you are worth staying for.
You are worth it the way that you are. You
do not need to please other people.

Speaker 1 (03:19:43):
You do not need to.

Speaker 2 (03:19:44):
You don't don't need to change who you are to
make sure.

Speaker 1 (03:19:47):
People leave people don't leave.

Speaker 3 (03:19:48):
And this part, like I get what they're saying, but
this part does kind of piss me, like not pissed
me off, but it makes me a little shaky, which
is it's but but he did leave, I whisper he left,
and he lied and I but he didn't leave.

Speaker 2 (03:20:03):
Iris says you left him.

Speaker 1 (03:20:04):
He followed you mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (03:20:06):
And yes, he lied about stealing Christmas his joy, he
lied about his uncle's involvement. But can you honestly look
at me and tell me you didn't don't get why
he did, and I get, I get exactly what's saying.
I just don't really like the way that it was
it was written, where it's like, oh, well, but you
left him.

Speaker 1 (03:20:20):
He didn't leave you. He followed you.

Speaker 2 (03:20:22):
Because I'm like, in other instances, that's not a good thing.

Speaker 1 (03:20:25):
Okay in this but I get what I just don't
want to get the way it's worded is what I'm saying.
I guess, but I think that what you don't like
is it being worded that way when applied to a
broader circumstance. Yeah, but that's not what they're talking about.
That's true because in this instance, it's Chris specifically saying
like I don't want people to leave me and Iris
pointing out, but that man didn't. He didn't walk away

(03:20:46):
from you, and when you walked away from him, he followed,
so he could give you an explanation because ultimately Locke
did leave. Yeah, after Chris was like, no, I heard you,
and I want you to go, and then he did. Yeah,
he respected his wishes. Yeah, he only followed him because
he was just like, I need to apologize to you,
and yeah, maybe he should have give him some more space.

(03:21:07):
But I can understand being upset about like, well, he
didn't leave you, didn't he followed. I can understand that
being romanticized in a toxic way when it's like somebody
hurts you and you leaving them. But in this case,
it's not that. It's not that, it's just like I said,
it's the way that it's worded. I have a problem with. Okay,
that not the situation itself.

Speaker 3 (03:21:28):
I think the situation as it's described, like I get it,
that's fine, it's just the way it's worded.

Speaker 1 (03:21:34):
Just didn't It didn't vibe with me very well. But anyway,
in okay, it doesn't matter. Okay.

Speaker 3 (03:21:41):
So and Iris is there and Cola's there, and they're like,
what do you want to do for yourself?

Speaker 1 (03:21:47):
Right?

Speaker 3 (03:21:48):
And Chris has to think about it and he's like
I want to go to the coronation, like I want
to be there.

Speaker 1 (03:21:53):
Yeah, And I don't remember who it was. Oh.

Speaker 3 (03:21:56):
Iris has been talking with Finn, yes, and she's like,
if it's any colation.

Speaker 1 (03:22:01):
Locke has been fucking depressed. He's been a wreck without you.

Speaker 2 (03:22:05):
Yeah, he's just been like barely making it through the day.

Speaker 1 (03:22:08):
Yeah, he's like still doing all the king stuff, but
he is like he didn't want the coronation.

Speaker 3 (03:22:12):
He's upset that his sisters like insisted upon it because
he's just like he wants to wallow. Yeah, which it's like,
I get it, that's what Chris is saying.

Speaker 1 (03:22:21):
He's like, oh, okay, I get it. They go and
the coronation has already happened. He shows up to the
after parties. Essentially he misses. He gets all dressed up,
he looks nice, he's all put together. It's like the
first time that he's like shaved and become presentable when
a lot's writing this whole time. He's been hold up
in his room this whole time. He's been hold up

(03:22:41):
his room writing this whole time. Yes, so he rolls
up to this coronation. The coronation's already happened. Yeah, So
he rolls up to the after party with Iris and
they go in parties in full swing. There's people everywhere.
They don't immediately see Locke, no, they but it's Locke
doesn't even see him. It's his sisters that see him first. Yes,

(03:23:04):
and they're like Finula and Chevonanula and Chevon finn Chavon. Yeah,
and they are both like.

Speaker 3 (03:23:12):
Oh my god, well, I think Chevon like yells at
his name, yes, and that's when Locke turns and is like.

Speaker 1 (03:23:22):
Is there not like a bit where they talk about
maybe I'm wrong about this, but I remember them being
him being told like, oh, yeah, he's been well you
kind of mentioned it already that he's been a wreck
since well that's that was one of the reasons.

Speaker 2 (03:23:34):
That was one of the things he was told before
they decided to.

Speaker 1 (03:23:37):
Go right, was that Locke's been a wreck. Yeah. Yeah,
And Chris is not meaning to like because because Lock's
in the middle of a conversation, like he's he's all
dressed up, he's looking nice. Chris is like, dang, I'm
still hot for that guy was mad at him, but
will acknowledge yeah, still fine. Uh, And he doesn't want
to super draw attention because he doesn't want to draw

(03:23:59):
Lok away from the conversation he's having. But then yes,
that choice gets taken from his hands and.

Speaker 2 (03:24:06):
Chevon yells because she's excited to.

Speaker 1 (03:24:08):
See it, and they do not like immediately, Locke is
just like, move over, I have I have a boy
to see. Move I'm gay literally though literally though he
doesn't care about he is now the king of This
is his coronation, he's the King of Saint Patrick's day.
But he does not give a crap about the members
of his court that are here because Chris is a

(03:24:29):
ride and he really needs to talk to Chris. So
I mean, yes, talking is happening at this point. Well,
first he has to show him some stuff. Well no,
because the first thing he walks over to him, the
first thing he does is like pull him into a kiss.
Is there an is it unspoken kiss? I'm trying to
I'm pretty sure it's unspoken. It's just to me like, oh,

(03:24:50):
you're here, so I'm smooching you. I could grab the BA,
but it's on the other side of the room. I
feel like there was at least like a couple of
words exchange so that you're here, so that it was
known the kiss would be welcome. Yeah, they smooch. Yeah,
there's it's. Locke is super obviously apologetic. He's real torn

(03:25:11):
up about things. But Chris was kind of like, hey,
we're working on it. It's fine. But Lock Locke doesn't.
Lock wants to show him something he's been working on,
something that he really desperately needs to show Chris, right,
And so he takes him away from the party, from
his own coronation. He's like, no, this, I don't care
about this anymore. Come with me down to my basement

(03:25:33):
studio where they descend down there, and there's this giant
canvas which is it's a gift to like express like
Locke's feelings for Chris. It's they say it more poignantly.
I know. It was so sweet. I don't remember. It

(03:25:53):
was basically it was like a big collage of it
was it was art, it was an image. It was
it wasn't freaking Chris's face. I think it was. It
was a portrait of Chris's face, but it was made up.
It was like a words of words. Yeah, it was
all of these words and a lot of it, and
part of it at least was like bits episodes from
the letter that Chris had written his mom. Yeah, where

(03:26:14):
it was like things that Chris had said to express
himself and his ideals. So it's basically he is Locke
has created this combined multimedia like portrait to express both
of them. It's his art. It's literally like images and portraiture,
but it's Chris's words and the idea.

Speaker 3 (03:26:36):
Including the first thing he said to him, which was
I reserved this.

Speaker 1 (03:26:40):
Right where it's like it was some freaking because I
think that he would yell it at him. Also, it
was this whole thing where it's basically it's like a
representation of like who Chris is in his own words,
but also how Locke sees him. And this has been
something that Locke has been painting since like he started
before Chris left I think so, yeah, but then finished

(03:27:03):
it and has been working on it. And it's like
this this big gesture essentially of his devotion. Don't they
fuck in the library? They do? Yeah, they do. Indeed,
I was gonna say that there was like and I
love you reveal there was some romance. Well Lock already
told him that he loves him. Yeah, but I feel
like there's a reaffirmingness. Yeah, there's a reaffirment. There's a

(03:27:26):
reaffirmations reaffirment.

Speaker 2 (03:27:27):
But there's also a like, we have not known each
other that long.

Speaker 1 (03:27:30):
There's yeah, at least acknowledge that. Yeah, at least every
time in the book when they have that thought about like,
hey do I love this dude. That's crazy I've known
him for a week. Yeah, they have that second thought
it because like even because like a night, remember for Christmas,
It's like at least that was a month, Yes, like
constant contact. But there's basically that at the end of

(03:27:53):
the book, we have Chris deciding that he lock like
wronged him, but Chris feels enough for him that it
is worthwhile for him to pursue this relationship regardless because
Locke is apologetic. Yeah, he does apologize for it. He

(03:28:15):
does regret hurting Chris and doing these things. Yeah, and
also we can acknowledge that a lot of the stuff
that he did was kind of like coerced by an
abusive guardian figure. Yeah, yeah, who is not at the coronation.
Who's not the coronation? Screw that guy apparently. I mean,

(03:28:37):
after he lost his gluck magic, one assumes that his
business has not been doing that hot unless they actually
make good whiskey. They might, they might, they might, but
that doesn't mean that is you know, you can have
a good product and still make bad choices business wise.
That's true. Yeah, it happens every day. It happens every day.

(03:28:58):
And then we elected when president, why did you bring
that here? I was having a nice time. Why did
you bring that here? Get it, get rid of it.
I don't want that, Okay, throw it away, throw it away.
I want these two gay boys, well one probably gay
and one uh nine. Well no, that's right. He doesn't
have a label. He doesn't go with the head on
the truck with labels. It's all about the vibes and

(03:29:19):
the vibes. Is that man makes me so horny that
I get mad? Yeah? That is that's Chris's vibe. That
is the vibe. Yeah, that man makes me so horny
that I get mad. Also, he's a service top and
he and Chris needs that in his life. Yeah, because
that's all that that Locke wants is to take care
of Chris. What's the what's the new term you taught me?
Sub drop? Sub drop was the term I taught you, Yeah,

(03:29:42):
which we don't have more of in this book. No,
I'm happy to tea.

Speaker 3 (03:29:47):
And then I saw it in relation to something else
and I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:29:51):
You're like, oh, I know what that is. Yeah, I'm
happy that I could help. I'm happy I can teach
you some vocabulary. Thank you. It's fine. I know what
You're mad. We're here, we're good. But that's our kind
of like happily ever After here in a sense is
that Chris and Locke are going to try and work
it out. Lockes King, Now that's a whole thing. And

(03:30:11):
Chris also is going to write a book. He's not
going to worry so much about being like a diplomat.
He's going to trust that he has studied a kid's book.
He's writing a children's book. Oh that's right. They go
into detail about what it's going to be about a
little bit.

Speaker 3 (03:30:24):
Yeah, and then Iris is gonna illustrate it.

Speaker 1 (03:30:27):
Yeah. Well, it's like it's he's going to write a
book about like a kid who goes on adventures and
just has like fun, happy kid adventures and it's about like,
you know, it's it's about joy, and it's about something
lighthearted and just being happy, and it doesn't have to
have like a grander moral, you know. Not My Happily
ever After would be Sarah announced like another book I

(03:30:50):
feel like, didn't not like specifically, but she did say
that she's going to be writing more. She said she'd
like to if if the the publisher contracts are for more,
she would love to.

Speaker 3 (03:31:02):
Okay, like right now her contract is it was just
the two right, and then she has another book that
she's not promoting that I'm sure we'll read for Parlor.

Speaker 1 (03:31:10):
I'm sure we will. Chris and Longer going to try
and figure it out. Locke's king now, Saint Patrick says
on the Turnaround, Chris is going to write a book.
Iris is going to help him draw it. We have
him not worrying about I think he's full on just
dropping out of school at this point because like, screw well,
because he it's like he didn't enjoy his major. It
wasn't his dream. He was doing it to be useful,

(03:31:32):
and now he's learning that he doesn't need to be
useful to be loved, which is kind of like the
big thesis of Chris as a person is that people
will leave me behind if I am not useful to them.
When reality, hey, Bud, people just love you. People just
love you, and that's fine and good in fact, and
maybe Finn is gonna hit on Iris more. Who's to say,

(03:31:55):
who's to say? Who is to say? But things are better.
They returned all of the joy to Christmas so that
they can, you know, return with the reparations they're making
to the other holidays. Malachi got yeaded into the sun.
Love that we don't know where he is. It doesn't matter.
He's gone, he's ousted. Maybe we'll find out in the
next book. Maybe we'll find out on the next book

(03:32:16):
what happened to Maliki Patrick. Who is to say, screw
that guy, screw that guy, screw that guy. But also
we don't find out what happens with Chris's parents. They
got married, they were already married. Yeah, they did a
vowel reneval because they never were technically divorced. Yeah, so
they were already married. But also the whole point is

(03:32:38):
that it doesn't matter because we're not letting them control
our lives anymore. You know, I say we I know
what you mean, but but I'm talking about Chris and
call yes and everyone healthy boundary yay, and everyone goes,
I'm happy and they smooch. I love a happily ever after.
And they banged the library. They do bang library, which

(03:33:00):
I approve. It's a private library, so I can't say
it's they own it. It's like, that's fine, that's your house.
You're allowed to bang in your own house. I can't
tell you what you can do in your house. A
library to bang in? Well, Chelsea, you.

Speaker 2 (03:33:17):
Like with all of my problems solved by me winning
the lottery.

Speaker 1 (03:33:22):
That's that's how we'll know. It's like, if I win
the library, won't the library? If I win the lottery,
I won't tell anyone, but there will be signs, and
it's you making a sex dungeon library. It's not gonna
be a sex dungeon library. She's gonna be a nice
library with with comfy couches for you to have sex on. Yeah,
so it'll be a sex in a dungeon. There'll be windows,
it'll be it'll be a sex library still, though we'll

(03:33:45):
clean it so you can enjoy it as well. I'm
not going in there. I know what you're doing there.
I'm not going in like this is my library. I'm like,
oh cool, I'm never going in this my house. Yeah,
do you have sex on this chair? No good, because
if you had said yes, you should have told me
that you should have let me move in bliss. You
should have let me move in ignorance.

Speaker 2 (03:34:06):
All right, I won't tell you other places.

Speaker 1 (03:34:08):
I would prefer if you didn't. I would love if
you didn't. I won't. I need to not know. And
that's mostly the point is that you've already told me
what you're planning with this library. So now I can't.
I can't with free By the time I went the lottery,
you might forget. I can't. I can't forget. I can
never forget. Sorry, it's too late. Save yourself, please, listeners,

(03:34:36):
run while you can. Anyway. Anyway, let's write this book
you first. Okay, I give this book four leaves on
a clover. God, damn it, That's what I was gonna do. God.
But I will say that there are five leaves on
the clover originally, right, all right. I'm not giving it
a perfect score because and not to knock this book

(03:34:57):
at all, because I do think it was delightful. I
had a very fun time with it. I do think
I like Tonight more for Christmas more. I'm not sure
which one I like more. Honestly, both are very good. Yeah,
both are very good. I like. I empathize with both
the boys a lot. I definitely relate more to Chris.
I can see that. I can see that we've talked.

Speaker 3 (03:35:16):
Extensively about that within this podcast we have we have
a recorded record of our thoughts about that matter. The
good news is this episode is not six hours long,
like Chistmas was.

Speaker 1 (03:35:26):
I think we're pushing it. It's definitely getting up there. Yeah,
but I do like it a lot. I thought it
was a very well written book. As always, I think
that these characters well fleshed out, their motivations make sense.
They have depth to them that I appreciate a great deal.
I just I think that there's nothing specific that I

(03:35:48):
think could have been better, except maybe I feel like
maybe we could have flushed out the Patrick family a
little bit further. Okay, I feel like there's there's room
we really know what the.

Speaker 2 (03:36:01):
Deal with even though they're dead. We don't really know
the deal with the parents.

Speaker 1 (03:36:03):
Is no I mean like, for comparison, we don't know
what the deal with with Hex's parents is too much better? True,
But I feel like I'm I don't know. I got
the vibe of hexmore as a person. Maybe he was
just more descriptive with him as a person. Maybe I'm
not sure. I just feel like I don't know as
much about Locke, and I would like to know more
about Locke. Okay, so maybe that's the only criticism I

(03:36:25):
can give. But again, that's so non specific.

Speaker 2 (03:36:27):
It just felt like a four out of five book.

Speaker 1 (03:36:29):
To me okay, which is still an excellent rating, not
like four and a half. It could be. I just don't.
I'm not leave off. I have done halves, I've done fractions. Yeah,
I can't say I haven't done a fraction on this podcast.
That is one of the things I like about StoryGraph
versus good Reads is that you can give fractions of stars.
It's at that point it's like it's it's some of

(03:36:51):
it is arbitrary.

Speaker 2 (03:36:53):
It's all arbitrary.

Speaker 1 (03:36:54):
It's all arbitrary. I like this book a lot, Chelsea.
You were gonna do you were gonna do four four,
leave some cover. Yeah, but now I gotta think of
something else. Okay, I'm sorry I sold that from you.
God what what? How many shots of whiskey? Four shots
of whiskey out of five? Out of five? Okay, simp
four and a half. Okay, so you you're halfway through

(03:37:16):
the fifth shot, but then you black out. Yeah, you
can't finish the fourth shot of whiskey.

Speaker 3 (03:37:23):
It's four shots of whiskey and one shot of whipped
cream vodka.

Speaker 1 (03:37:29):
That sounds like a horrible combination. Oh, I'm sure it is.
That sounds that sounds so unpleasant of a combination. Oh boy,
but fair enough. We both like this book a lot.
We recommend it. Yeah, if you like some whimsy that
has added depth the crack taken seriously, Uh we God,

(03:37:51):
we could talk so much more about crack. I feel
not the drug. I know, I exactly know what you mean.
The word your face. That was pretty cool. I just was.
I was trying not to laugh because I'm I'm a
twelve year old child. That's okay.

Speaker 3 (03:38:05):
Yesterday, it was it yesterday that I laughed at someone
saying bulge.

Speaker 1 (03:38:09):
Yeah, it happens. We are We're gremlins. It was it
was Corey. Oh, we were talking about the new baseball
bats because we love baseball. Oh, that's in the quarantine zone.
That's in the elephant gray red where I don't go,
because if you don't know, then there's new bats.

Speaker 3 (03:38:24):
They're called the Tornado bats, and there's a bulge in
the spot where they determined statistically is where batters mostly hit.
And I giggled at that, and Corey was like, then
said something about wood and was like waiting for Chelsea
to giggle. I'm like, not as funny. Bulge is funnier.

Speaker 1 (03:38:39):
That is, you're good luck goluck yourself. Yes, yes, we
enjoyed it. We hope you do as well if you
read it. I've made people in my life read it. Yeah,
I'm gonna make better read it on the plane. Sending
this to Sarah very good because I sent the last
one to her delightful. I hope that she enjoys our ramblings.
She last time forgives us for not remembering details because

(03:39:03):
our brains are broken.

Speaker 2 (03:39:04):
I already apologized for that last time.

Speaker 1 (03:39:06):
Good because our brains are broken. Our brains are broken.
It's the ADHD. It's the AHD. Well, since you're going
to be leaving me on a jet plane, Yes, I
figure maybe the song lead don't know where I'll come
back again. Yeah, I figure I should pick the book
now so that maybe you can read it on the
plane coming back. Or what different than the normal process?

(03:39:30):
I feel like you tell me in advance what the
book as always, Maybe don't announce it on the podcall. No,
we do announce it on the podcast, right, I super do. Yeah,
I forgot that you are in fact doing the normal
the normal. Yeah, please continue with the normal format of
the show.

Speaker 3 (03:39:45):
I just realized that actually our next book is whatever
Celeste is forcing.

Speaker 1 (03:39:48):
Us to read. So didn't she pick one? She did
pick one one of her her.

Speaker 2 (03:39:55):
Romance novels, Five Moons Rising. Okay, we will be reading
that next.

Speaker 1 (03:40:00):
Is this the one with the with Mayhem malice malice?
Oh no, yeah, oh no, yeah, I hate that. Yeah,
so that's why did you do this?

Speaker 3 (03:40:13):
But after that, it's gonna be a good book because
I already know what we're doing after that. I promise
you with that, the next one's good. Is it Akatar again,
it's not. Okay, we're gonna take a break from Katar
for a bit.

Speaker 1 (03:40:23):
Is it Legends and Lattes?

Speaker 2 (03:40:25):
It is not not on my list.

Speaker 1 (03:40:27):
There's a bunch of books that you had mentioned at me.

Speaker 3 (03:40:30):
Yeah, I mean I think you should read Legends and Lattes,
But that wasn't actually on my list.

Speaker 1 (03:40:34):
No, because the thing about Legends and Lattes, it's great,
I love it is not really primarily romance. Okay, it's
goot like romance.

Speaker 2 (03:40:43):
Is a side plot. Okay, yeah, fair, all right?

Speaker 1 (03:40:46):
But five Moon Rising, five Moon Rising, Oh, buddy, over
by Moon's Rising. I'm so sorry. Moon's plural. We'll be
back next time with that, with whatever that is. Whatever
that is.

Speaker 2 (03:41:00):
Her werewolf lesbians.

Speaker 1 (03:41:01):
She's got a brand and I respect it. I respect
Celeste's commitment to the brand of werewolf lesbianism. Yeah, because
you know what, she knows, what makes her happy. That's
all we could all ask. Thank you, Chelsea, thank you Christina,
and thank you listeners for listening to put the paranorm boo.

(03:41:24):
All Right, we'll see you next next month, Yeah you
next month. Yeah bye bye