Author Tasha Van Howe discusses MISS ME, ALWAYS on #ConversationsLIVE with host Cyrus Webb---sharing what she hopes her personal journey does in helping others with loss and healing.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Conversations Live. For morethan a decade, we've brought you the
best in books, entertainment, celebrityinterviews, and current events. When the
movers and shakers of the world havesomething to say to you, they say
it to us first. Here's yourhost, Cyrus Web. Welcome back everyone
(00:20):
to Conversations Live. I'm your host, Service Web. Glad you walk and
join us once again before radio audiencestanding in at WYAD ninety four point one
FMWYAD online dot com or great thatyou walk in be with us, also
standing in their friends at a HeartRadio on Amazon Music Podcast. We're glad
you walk and join us as well. If you've ever had an experience in
your life that it's not only shakenyou to your core, but also felt
(00:40):
like it took parts of yourself away, I think our next guest in her
book will definitely resonate with you.We're excited to welcome Tasha Benhale to our
broadcast today. She's the ansome ofthe powerful new book called Miss Me Always.
We're going to talk to her andnot only about the courage to share
a story with the world, butalso what it's been like for her to
see the connections being made and alsothis journey for her as a writer been
like for her to show other peoplewhat's possible when it comes to healing as
(01:03):
well. Tasha, thank you againfor the time or did you appreciate it?
Thank you? Good morning? Sorry, thank you for having me the
pleasures helping all mind. There's somuch for us to talk about here,
Tasha. Well, first I wantto do is is thank you for having
the courage to be able to hearyour story with the rest of us,
because I think it's going to notonly resonate with individuals, but also remind
them of what's possible for them inspite of challenges and difficult situations. Was
(01:25):
that part of your hope Tasha?And sharing your book? Absolutely, it
was not easy to write. Idefinitely have to had to lift through all
the emotional parts that we went throughand that I tried to heal so heal
from. However, what kept pushingme through is the hope that it would
reach someone else, you know,even if it was one person. I
(01:47):
kept saying it, with everything thatwe've gone through, there's got to be
a reason for it, and soI wanted to put it down into words
for other people to read and hopefullyconnect with and let them know they're not
alone. And to that point,to talk to the other thing, you've
been able to kind of take theworld along the ride. Part of that,
you've been able to chronicle, likeon platforms like Instagram. Did that
(02:07):
make it a little bit easier tokind of have people along with you as
he kind of went through the process, Yes, especially through social media,
because when you put yourself out therethere, you know, people side into
her dms and we'll reach out toyou, and you know it's formed relationships
that way as well. Yes,I think that is the big thing here.
(02:28):
So let's go ahead and talk aboutmiss me always because I think again,
as I said in my intro,I think all of us, you
know, myself included. I mean, this month makes nine years that I
lost my grandmother, the love ofmy life, and after being her primary
caregiver for a decade, and Ithink there were a period I went through
of trying to figure out who Iwas outside of that and even what life
(02:51):
look like afterwards. You had aseries of events happen in your life.
Talk to that you hear in thebook that kind of rock you the same
way. So I want to talkabout how you decided. How did you
decide that this is not only somethingthat you wanted to share us for as
the healing aspect, but also aboutwhat we can be able to do after,
you know, difficult situations come ourway. How did you make that
(03:12):
decision? With my husband? Ihave a very strong, in supportive husband.
We communicated a lot, I didyou know harbor a lot of I
wouldn't want to say secrets, butemotions from him and thoughts from him until
I realized that that wasn't a healthyplace to be, and then I would
(03:34):
talk about it with him, asscary as it might be. And I'm
so sorry for the loss of yourgrandmother. I understand how hard that is
and that you're right, you dolose yourself because when you're somebody's caregiver,
and I definitely felt like I've lostmyself. I'm going to be completely honest,
I'm still probably trying to find her. They owed me back, but
(03:55):
every day I hadn't take steps forwardand to that point, And I think
and the reason why I resonated somuch with this book tarts because I think
everyone will see their own situation init and feel a connection through and I
think that's what I was able tofind. It took me a while to
get you to my through place withnot being stuck in paralyzed, because it's
(04:17):
so easier for that to happen too, especially because other people may not even
know what to say. You wentthrough that yourself, I mean, and
even the things they say may notbe the right things. But I think
what I love so much about thisbook is that you're knowing honest in your
feelings, the good and the bad, but also showing that it is a
process. How important has it beenfor you to be kind to yourself?
(04:40):
I think a lot of us don'tdo that enough. But what about for
yourself, Tasha? How important wasthat for you not to expect yourself to
go back to being the quote unquoteyou that you knew that's a good queestion.
Actually, I asked that. Iwould ask that of myself often.
I probably wouldn't say it was somethingI reflected on myself. It was something
and I looked to for support throughfamily and friends and my husband. I
(05:04):
would I would listen to them.You know, so many people would say
how strong I was or how wellI was doing, and I would question
it in my mind, but thenI would look at myself and the progress
I was making. At one point, you know, I lost the ability
to walk after complications as an epidural, and you know, I would question
(05:24):
is this really going to be mylife? And where's the old meat?
But then I would do something thatI wasn't able to do the day before
and realize that, you know,I was strong and I was doing I
was that person that other people wereseeing, and I just needed to sort
of remind myself as that every day, take a breath, you know,
look at myself in the mirror andsay, you did this today, but
(05:45):
you didn't do it yesterday, andyou're making strides. Yeah. I think
there's a phrase Tasha that I thoughtabout what in the reading missed me always
that I think we all kind ofheard over the past few years after you
know, dealing with the pandemic andthat is the new normal. And I
think it's kind of a weird phrase. I understand what people mean by it
when they say it, because youknow, trying to figure out what life
(06:09):
looks like, you know, outof everything else that's happened, did you
feel like you went through that yourselfor that you had to come to grips
with what your idea, what quoteunquote normal was absolutely I actually used new
normal every day. I would screamand I would cry, and I would
say, how could this possibly bemy new normal? And then something uplifting
(06:34):
would happen or something positive would happen, and I would think, Okay,
this is my new normal. Ican I can work with this. So
I use new normal every single day. And you know, I think embracing
the new normal and that phrase isokay. I think that the new normal
(06:55):
is what you make of it andhow you see it and just find the
positivity in it. I think theother thing that people will take away from
miss me always and my remind ouraudience that they can get their copy is
that writing is even a part ofthe writing of the book. How important
was journaling for you? I havebenefited from that all of my life,
(07:15):
I must say, Uh, evennow as I travel for work or with
It's all I did really is work, But it was I travel. I
think a journal with me and I'mwriting about the experience of the airport and
that you know the flight you youknow, I think about in chapter three
of the book as you kind ofare so honest about your feelings. How
journaling, I'm sure that helped youin the writing process, But what was
(07:36):
that like for you in the moment, to be able to be able to
write those those both feelings out.It's almost it's basically my therapy. Um,
you know, I don't speak tocounselor um, I don't, you
know, always share my feelings withfamily, and those were those were my
private thoughts. So it was itwas basically my therapy being able to put
(08:00):
them into words on paper. Andalso I felt like it was a good
way for me to reflect. Iknew that one day I was going to
want to read those words back andsee where I was and see how far
I've come. Yeah, And Ithink that is the thing, and that's
what I went in with here Natasha, which is I think one of the
bright spots of this whole experience.And again, for those who are just
(08:24):
tuning in on the radio side ofown line, you're listening to a conversations
live or speaking Latasha Van how todaywere about her new book Missed Me Always.
We're going to remind you you canget your own copy of it.
Stay connected with Watasha as well,I want to talk about that for our
audience. What do you hope theyrealize about the bright spots, about holding
onto those and appreciating the moments,even though it may not be a big
(08:46):
thing to others, but appreciating thosebright spots so we encounter daily. What
do you want them to know aboutthe importance of Natasha. I think that
it is what keeps you going.I think it's what brings you life.
If if you don't look for thosebright spots, and you don't look pick
in those moments, you know,you can really go down a dark path.
(09:07):
And I went down that dark pathand it was those moments that pulled
me out. So even if it'sas silly as it might be, but
if you love grabbing a Starbucks coffeeor you know, taking your dog for
a walk, whatever that might be, find those moments because they're healing and
they're they're imperative to you. Lovethat. Love that again, everyone missed
(09:28):
me? Always available now mate,You guys get your copy through our friends
at Amazon dot com, but throughyour favorite local bookstore. Tasha, how
can our audience stay connected with you? I am actually on Instagram under author
Van how all Right we'll get congratulationsto you. Thank you again for taking
out some time with us. Ireally do appreciate it and looking forward to
stay connected with you and speak withyou again. I appreciate. Thank you
so much, sirrs for having meyou have you. It was wonderful.
(09:52):
Thank you, Thank you. Iappreciate that, and we thank your audience.
Are tuning in another great segment ofConversations Live until next Tom. I'm
you, Cyrus web Things. Ialways enjoy your day, enjoy your life,
enjoy your world. Thank you allfor chasing conversations lives. Let's go
make today amazing. Take care
Welcome to Conversations Live. For morethan a decade, we've brought you the
best in books, entertainment, celebrityinterviews, and current events. When the
movers and shakers of the world havesomething to say to you, they say
it to us first. Here's yourhost, Cyrus Web. Welcome back everyone
(00:20):
to Conversations Live. I'm your host, Service Web. Glad you walk and
join us once again before radio audiencestanding in at WYAD ninety four point one
FMWYAD online dot com or great thatyou walk in be with us, also
standing in their friends at a HeartRadio on Amazon Music Podcast. We're glad
you walk and join us as well. If you've ever had an experience in
your life that it's not only shakenyou to your core, but also felt
(00:40):
like it took parts of yourself away, I think our next guest in her
book will definitely resonate with you.We're excited to welcome Tasha Benhale to our
broadcast today. She's the ansome ofthe powerful new book called Miss Me Always.
We're going to talk to her andnot only about the courage to share
a story with the world, butalso what it's been like for her to
see the connections being made and alsothis journey for her as a writer been
like for her to show other peoplewhat's possible when it comes to healing as
(01:03):
well. Tasha, thank you againfor the time or did you appreciate it?
Thank you? Good morning? Sorry, thank you for having me the
pleasures helping all mind. There's somuch for us to talk about here,
Tasha. Well, first I wantto do is is thank you for having
the courage to be able to hearyour story with the rest of us,
because I think it's going to notonly resonate with individuals, but also remind
them of what's possible for them inspite of challenges and difficult situations. Was
(01:25):
that part of your hope Tasha?And sharing your book? Absolutely, it
was not easy to write. Idefinitely have to had to lift through all
the emotional parts that we went throughand that I tried to heal so heal
from. However, what kept pushingme through is the hope that it would
reach someone else, you know,even if it was one person. I
(01:47):
kept saying it, with everything thatwe've gone through, there's got to be
a reason for it, and soI wanted to put it down into words
for other people to read and hopefullyconnect with and let them know they're not
alone. And to that point,to talk to the other thing, you've
been able to kind of take theworld along the ride. Part of that,
you've been able to chronicle, likeon platforms like Instagram. Did that
(02:07):
make it a little bit easier tokind of have people along with you as
he kind of went through the process, Yes, especially through social media,
because when you put yourself out therethere, you know, people side into
her dms and we'll reach out toyou, and you know it's formed relationships
that way as well. Yes,I think that is the big thing here.
(02:28):
So let's go ahead and talk aboutmiss me always because I think again,
as I said in my intro,I think all of us, you
know, myself included. I mean, this month makes nine years that I
lost my grandmother, the love ofmy life, and after being her primary
caregiver for a decade, and Ithink there were a period I went through
of trying to figure out who Iwas outside of that and even what life
(02:51):
look like afterwards. You had aseries of events happen in your life.
Talk to that you hear in thebook that kind of rock you the same
way. So I want to talkabout how you decided. How did you
decide that this is not only somethingthat you wanted to share us for as
the healing aspect, but also aboutwhat we can be able to do after,
you know, difficult situations come ourway. How did you make that
(03:12):
decision? With my husband? Ihave a very strong, in supportive husband.
We communicated a lot, I didyou know harbor a lot of I
wouldn't want to say secrets, butemotions from him and thoughts from him until
I realized that that wasn't a healthyplace to be, and then I would
(03:34):
talk about it with him, asscary as it might be. And I'm
so sorry for the loss of yourgrandmother. I understand how hard that is
and that you're right, you dolose yourself because when you're somebody's caregiver,
and I definitely felt like I've lostmyself. I'm going to be completely honest,
I'm still probably trying to find her. They owed me back, but
(03:55):
every day I hadn't take steps forwardand to that point, And I think
and the reason why I resonated somuch with this book tarts because I think
everyone will see their own situation init and feel a connection through and I
think that's what I was able tofind. It took me a while to
get you to my through place withnot being stuck in paralyzed, because it's
(04:17):
so easier for that to happen too, especially because other people may not even
know what to say. You wentthrough that yourself, I mean, and
even the things they say may notbe the right things. But I think
what I love so much about thisbook is that you're knowing honest in your
feelings, the good and the bad, but also showing that it is a
process. How important has it beenfor you to be kind to yourself?
(04:40):
I think a lot of us don'tdo that enough. But what about for
yourself, Tasha? How important wasthat for you not to expect yourself to
go back to being the quote unquoteyou that you knew that's a good queestion.
Actually, I asked that. Iwould ask that of myself often.
I probably wouldn't say it was somethingI reflected on myself. It was something
and I looked to for support throughfamily and friends and my husband. I
(05:04):
would I would listen to them.You know, so many people would say
how strong I was or how wellI was doing, and I would question
it in my mind, but thenI would look at myself and the progress
I was making. At one point, you know, I lost the ability
to walk after complications as an epidural, and you know, I would question
(05:24):
is this really going to be mylife? And where's the old meat?
But then I would do something thatI wasn't able to do the day before
and realize that, you know,I was strong and I was doing I
was that person that other people wereseeing, and I just needed to sort
of remind myself as that every day, take a breath, you know,
look at myself in the mirror andsay, you did this today, but
(05:45):
you didn't do it yesterday, andyou're making strides. Yeah. I think
there's a phrase Tasha that I thoughtabout what in the reading missed me always
that I think we all kind ofheard over the past few years after you
know, dealing with the pandemic andthat is the new normal. And I
think it's kind of a weird phrase. I understand what people mean by it
when they say it, because youknow, trying to figure out what life
(06:09):
looks like, you know, outof everything else that's happened, did you
feel like you went through that yourselfor that you had to come to grips
with what your idea, what quoteunquote normal was absolutely I actually used new
normal every day. I would screamand I would cry, and I would
say, how could this possibly bemy new normal? And then something uplifting
(06:34):
would happen or something positive would happen, and I would think, Okay,
this is my new normal. Ican I can work with this. So
I use new normal every single day. And you know, I think embracing
the new normal and that phrase isokay. I think that the new normal
(06:55):
is what you make of it andhow you see it and just find the
positivity in it. I think theother thing that people will take away from
miss me always and my remind ouraudience that they can get their copy is
that writing is even a part ofthe writing of the book. How important
was journaling for you? I havebenefited from that all of my life,
(07:15):
I must say, Uh, evennow as I travel for work or with
It's all I did really is work, But it was I travel. I
think a journal with me and I'mwriting about the experience of the airport and
that you know the flight you youknow, I think about in chapter three
of the book as you kind ofare so honest about your feelings. How
journaling, I'm sure that helped youin the writing process, But what was
(07:36):
that like for you in the moment, to be able to be able to
write those those both feelings out.It's almost it's basically my therapy. Um,
you know, I don't speak tocounselor um, I don't, you
know, always share my feelings withfamily, and those were those were my
private thoughts. So it was itwas basically my therapy being able to put
(08:00):
them into words on paper. Andalso I felt like it was a good
way for me to reflect. Iknew that one day I was going to
want to read those words back andsee where I was and see how far
I've come. Yeah, And Ithink that is the thing, and that's
what I went in with here Natasha, which is I think one of the
bright spots of this whole experience.And again, for those who are just
(08:24):
tuning in on the radio side ofown line, you're listening to a conversations
live or speaking Latasha Van how todaywere about her new book Missed Me Always.
We're going to remind you you canget your own copy of it.
Stay connected with Watasha as well,I want to talk about that for our
audience. What do you hope theyrealize about the bright spots, about holding
onto those and appreciating the moments,even though it may not be a big
(08:46):
thing to others, but appreciating thosebright spots so we encounter daily. What
do you want them to know aboutthe importance of Natasha. I think that
it is what keeps you going.I think it's what brings you life.
If if you don't look for thosebright spots, and you don't look pick
in those moments, you know,you can really go down a dark path.
(09:07):
And I went down that dark pathand it was those moments that pulled
me out. So even if it'sas silly as it might be, but
if you love grabbing a Starbucks coffeeor you know, taking your dog for
a walk, whatever that might be, find those moments because they're healing and
they're they're imperative to you. Lovethat. Love that again, everyone missed
(09:28):
me? Always available now mate,You guys get your copy through our friends
at Amazon dot com, but throughyour favorite local bookstore. Tasha, how
can our audience stay connected with you? I am actually on Instagram under author
Van how all Right we'll get congratulationsto you. Thank you again for taking
out some time with us. Ireally do appreciate it and looking forward to
stay connected with you and speak withyou again. I appreciate. Thank you
so much, sirrs for having meyou have you. It was wonderful.
(09:52):
Thank you, Thank you. Iappreciate that, and we thank your audience.
Are tuning in another great segment ofConversations Live until next Tom. I'm
you, Cyrus web Things. Ialways enjoy your day, enjoy your life,
enjoy your world. Thank you allfor chasing conversations lives. Let's go
make today amazing. Take care
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