Episode 163 - Ben Newman: Peak Performance Coaching in Business, Sports & Life - D&D Fitness Radio Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:14):
Welcome to the D and D FitnessRadio Podcast, brought to you by your
hosts Don Saladino from New York Cityand Derek Hanson from Vancouver, Canada.
Hell, yes, I love it. Can you hear it? Ben?

(00:36):
It's good to see you, brother. Don. It's good to see you.
Derek. Great to meet you.You. Nice to meet you,
Ben. So Ben going on.This is really like an informal conversation.
This is fun stuff, Derek.Listen. Ben and I, ironically we
only met like like a month ago. All Right. He's one of those
guys where I feel like I'm knownfor, you know, my entire life

(00:57):
and just birds of a feather flocktogether. What can I say? I
mean, just a stud in theindustry. And when you when you hear
them on stage, you just you'rejust blown away. And you know you're
gonna love his you know, athleticbackground and and you know the people he've
been around. I just think it'sgonna be a great conversation. I just
want to just keep it real,loose as always, and let's have some

(01:18):
fun. So you guys, Ithought it was pretty cool, Like you
consider this like D and D radio, So you treat like it's just like
a radio interview, just very laidback. Yeah, you want to know,
what I found out is like alot of times when we bring people
on, it gets so technical.It's like I think in the beginning we're
doing that. We're bringing on alot of people were incredibly you know,
everyone who comes on smart, Butlike I think it's also you can be

(01:42):
smart and you can't deliver the message. It's two different things. So I
just think we kind of keep thisas a really loose conversation and if anything,
we really want to showcase the speakercoming in this This channels of really
more about that. It's more aboutus trying to showcase the speaker and put
it up, you know, putthem in a really nice light and allow
my community, in Derek's community,to see what they're all about, and
hopefully, you know, you canget them some business and get some more

(02:05):
eyeballs on their products. So that'sreally all we're into. We don't do
we don't do this, we wedon't profit off of this. This is
just something we do out of loveand we do out of fun. And
I think we have probably closer totwo hundred episodes now, which is fun.
I love it. So Derek BenBen, Derek, good to meet
you. Derek. What do youdo? Is that a blackboard behind you?
Yeah? Because I had a whiteboardand then when I would film stuff

(02:29):
like the lights would reflect off ofit. So I'm like, I'm going
old school, right it. Yeah, And if there's any chalk, I
just like grab some dumbells and youknow anyways, Yeah, no, it's
uh yeah, I I what doI do? I don't know. I'm
still trying to figure it out.As I turned fifty five this year.

(02:50):
I work with athletes predominantly, buta lot of teams and I come from
a running background, so it's alot of sprint speed work and then we're
all then into some rehab work forsoft tissue injuries and things like that.
So I keep Awesome, you looklike you're thirty five, not fifty five.
Yeah, what the what the hell? Yeah? Please please show me

(03:15):
your full head of hair while youlook at this. You're funny. Yeah,
but yeah, I met Derek.So I met Derek at my club
awesome, I want to say nowsix seven years ago, and he came
in because he was working with awith a with a big actor for a
role was in town for six weeksand my head coach turned to me and
said, hey, listen, canwe bring Derek Hanson? And I was

(03:38):
like sure, like it was Itwasn't something the club we really ever allowed
anyone from the outside, but we'relike, bring him in and you know,
here he's a great guy. Andhe came in and the next thing,
you know, I think on dayone, he's running a seminar for
all my trainers, so like,what's going on here? And I kind
of go in the back and Ilook and I swear to god, I'm
not like for the next six weekshe was teaching every single day. Then

(04:01):
he comes to me and he's like, we can do I can have a
true form, bringing like a dozentreadmills. Do you want to host the
sprinting summer on me? I'm likesure, why not? And we just
like start and all this work,like didn't make a cent, didn't you
just did it? Like gave himselfall this additional work, and we became
really tight and I was like,dude, got it. We got to
like start a little channel together andI just I need you in my life.

(04:23):
It was one of those things soso but Ben listen, thanks for
thanks for your time. Again,we'll see this forty forty five minutes.
Yeah. I think the interesting aboutBen Newman is I will give you a
little bit of his background. Butyou're a heap performance coach, correct,
I mean, top fifty speaker andtwo times Wall Street Journal best selling author.

(04:43):
Your client list includes Fortune five hundredcompanies around the world. You've worked
under some pretty big names, youknow, a pretty well known college,
a pretty well known university and incollege coach, and we're gonna let you
dive into that a bit. ButI think Derek the the amount of mindset

(05:04):
tools that Ben's able to give topeople. I mean, I mean I
listened to him speak the first twominutes he was on stage at Doctor Gabrielle
Lines event. I was like,Okay, now I know what this is
about, like and now it's likelike now, now, now I know
what this guy's coming in with.And it was pretty special to hear,
and you know, just an incrediblestory. So Ben, I mean,
give us a little bit of background. You know, let's uh, obviously

(05:28):
there's so much history in there,but let's give everyone the cliff notes version
of like how you got started andwhere your carew is gone. Shoot,
I'm sure it's the same, uh, same for you guys. And I
feel like I'm still getting started.And I think that's a blessing of having
amazing mentors and coaches that I stillhave. And you know, just like
we talked about Don, which iswhat I think really caused us to get
connected so fast, was that youfeel it's like this never finished mindset,

(05:54):
so people get, oh, you'vedone this and you've done that. Like,
I just want to wake up everyday and be the best that I
can be and waste any days.And I literally still have two coaches,
I'm part of an amazing mastermind.I'm reading books every day, and I
always look for the mentors who makeme feel like I've literally accomplished nothing so
that I can always feel like there'sthat next level that you can get to.

(06:15):
And I think that's the push andchallenge of life. And so I'm
excited to be able to share mystory with all of you and with your
listeners. And you know, alot of it for me came from adversity
and challenge that I face. Justlike everybody listening. You all have a
story, you have challenge, youhave adversity. So for me, as
we get into it, you know, I'm sure we'll talk about my pain

(06:35):
and my challenge, which is whereI've always found my greatest strength. You
know, as big as Don's musclesare, you know, his greatest strength
doesn't come from those muscles. Itcomes from the pain and the challenge and
conversations that we've had about struggle thatyou've had and pain that you've gone through,
and what it was like going throughCOVID running a gym and Derek,
I'm sure it was the same foryou. Right when you're training, like

(06:57):
there's less exposure, you know,like you're gonna go train people to go
run and compete and there's there's nothingto compete in, right, I mean,
so much was shut down, Andso where do we really find our
pain and challenge or our strength comesfrom pain and challenge I've always found.
Yeah, Yeah, that resonates withme, and I think sometimes I'm very

(07:21):
aware of this idea that I don'twant to get comfortable because as soon as
things get comfortable and I don't haveto, like you said, grind and
feel that pain, there's the motivationisn't quite there. It's not the same
it's not the same driving force.So yeah, it's it's definitely interesting.
Yeah, that's it's funny, Ben, because you know, thinking about even

(07:44):
my life the second we could havelike the best month from a revenue standpoint,
But if I feel like my positionis stagnant, I actually start getting
a bit nervous, right, LikeI always feel like I have to you
know, what's next next or howare we working to move forward? And
I know it's probably a good thing, but can also be a bad thing.

(08:05):
Do you think, Oh, there'sno doubt about it. And one
of the things that I always encouragepeople to do, and I've gotten this
sense from you don through our conversationswe've had, is I encourage people don't
focus on the money. Like,if you're only focused on the money,
I promise you it's going to bereally hard to make money. And you

(08:28):
know, you guys can highlight thethings you want people to hear. You
know, five years and two nationalchampionships with coach Saban in ten years with
coach Climbing at Kansas State. Imean, those are the two winningest college
football coaches over the last fifteen yearsin all of college football. And those
are the two head coaches that I'veworked with, and it's like getting a
doctorate in leadership, and so youknow, for me what people don't recognize.

(08:52):
I didn't start there. I startedwhen my high school basketball coach in
twenty eleven called me and said,hey, Benny boy, these boys are
underperforming. Will you come fire themup? And literally went back to my
high school basketball team. All ofmy work and speaking and coaching was all
corporate from two thousand and six untiltwenty eleven. And then I literally had

(09:13):
my high school basketball coach called me, any boy, come speak and I'm
like, sure, Coach, likewhat night do you want me there?
And you go and give this pregamespeech and a shitty locker room with terrible
lockers. They have no money topay you to be there. I didn't
even want money. I was like, you've given me a chance to make
a difference in these kids' lives.And that night they were playing the number

(09:35):
ten I'm a Saint Louis born kidsstill live in Saint Louis and we're they're
playing the number ten team city inSaint Louis. Our high school's unranked,
and we literally beat them at theirplace, and I was hooked. I
went for It was eight or ninestraight years going back to my high school
for no money, even when Iwas working for saving in Alabama. I'm

(09:56):
still going to my high school firedup these kids for free because I I
think we have to stay connected toyour roots and your passion, and then
the money becomes a byproduct of yourhard work and passion doing the things that
will one day reward you. Youcan't do you can't do what we do,
especially what you do, or I'msorry all of us if you don't

(10:18):
have this like deep burning love andthis deep burning desire to want to get
better. I mean when you whenyou when you talk about you put it
that way. You know it's it'sa reminder you didn't go work for these
coaches and you didn't have it allfigured out like you went in there and
the amount of information you must haveabsorbed by watching you know, these coaches

(10:39):
deal with it. It's not ateam with five guys on it. Let's
be very clear here, Like you'reyou're dealing with forty to fifty you know,
especially football, different personalities and watchingthis coach deal with different coaches and
dealing with different players in different situations. You can learn that in the best
university on the planet that you knowteaching you know, human psychology, I

(11:03):
don't you know whatever. It islike, that's an education you cannot pay
for. Yeah, you can't.And the amazing thing is it's the crossover
between sports and business. And mostpeople think for me, it's like they
see all the you know, thestuff behind me that like, oh,
I just do stuff in sports.Seventy percent of my work is still in
the corporate world. Only thirty percentof my work is actually in sports.

(11:26):
And then people, as I mentioned, they think it was the reverse.
I mean, it started corporately forme. But what's been amazing is there's
so many lessons I learned from coachSaban or from coach Climbing that are completely
applicable to a CEO that I workwith. It's running a billion dollar organization.
I mean, it's like the sametypes of lessons and struggles and pain

(11:48):
and how do I communicate and howdo I empower our people to take ownership
of their behavior and all of thesethings. I mean. Coach Saban was
ranked by Forbes magazine several years yearsago is the number eleven leader in the
world not football coach, not justsports coach, leader, leader in the
world, and so so many ofthese lessons that I know in our work

(12:11):
with athletes, you find like it'sa total parallel. Do you find like
in terms of leadership styles and personalities, Like there's different ways to be effective,
Like if I look at what happenswith Kansas City chiefs, say and
Andy Reid and how he handles thingsand how he comes across and versus say,

(12:33):
maybe a Bill Belichick who's not asI don't know what the word is,
jovial, but yeah, do youthink it's it's it's really dependent on
that person and that their personality andhow they kind of make it work for
them. So it's funny that youbring up that example. I've spent time
with Belichick, and I've worked withplayers on the Patriots team for years,

(12:56):
and my first year working with aPatriots player was actually in two thousand and
in fourteen when they won the SuperBowl. And I'll never forget. I'm
there. The player brings me in, and so I'm there for the game,
and you fly in the day beforethe game and it's family photo day
and all this, and the playerintroduces me to Belichick, the first time
I ever get to meet coach Belichick, and the dude looks at me like,

(13:16):
I don't care who you are.I have a football game to coach
tomorrow. Like basically gave me alook like, dude, get out of
my face. I want nothing todo with you right now, Like could
have cared less to build a relationshipfor any reason in particular right wanted no
part of it now. I don'tknow Andy Reid, but from what I've
heard about Andy Reid and a coupleof Kansas State players that I work with

(13:37):
with rookies on this year's Super Bowlteam, I mean they love the guy.
It's a total opposite, right,I mean he's talking cheeseburgers, he's
having fun like he's and so yes, absolutely all coaches are going to be
different. Heck, there's some people, right, And you think about it,
don you alluded to it? Acollege team is one hundred and thirty
players. If you think I walkin with one hundred and thirty Alabama football

(14:01):
players and they all love me,you're wrong. There's probably ten guys who
are like, dude, like thisguy vain starts popping out of his neck,
Dude screaming and yelling like that,dude's too much for me. But
if there's one hundred and twenty guysthat like the message, I'm probably gonna
have a role in the organization.And so it's you know, coaches are
gonna be different, messages are gonnabe different. That's why I always encourage
people like you have to find yourvoice and your coaching style. But not

(14:24):
everybody's gonna love you. You know, if I write a book, you
think everybody's gonna love the book.No, So people are gonna hate the
book and they're gonna say it's theworst book ever, it's a piece of
trash, and they're gonna give meone star ratings on Amazon. Does that
make me a bad person and abad author. No, there's a handful
of people that didn't like the book, And so I think people have to
stay in their lane, find theirvoice, and then find confidence in the

(14:46):
discipline that you create by making adifference in people's lives. Don don as
amazing as you are as a trainer, there's probably some people who have trained
with you a couple of times andyou never see him again, and they're
probably like, dude, this guywas too much. Guys I think that
guy's terrible. You know it's like, but listen, you're not right,

(15:07):
and you know it's and you can'tyou can't make everyone happy. Like you're
not going to go in there inbad a thousand. You're always going to
have a situation where you know,maybe something goes wrong or maybe it was
a bad day. I mean,if you're if you've been doing this twenty
five thirty years, there's no humanbeing that's ever been perfect. So I
completely agree with you. Now Iwant to ask you a question. I

(15:28):
mean, the number one thing Ihear because it's always easy when you're dealing
with someone who's motivated, right,like someone someone who like this is in
their blood and they have that workethic, right and they and they have
that discipline and they're and they're comingin. I always say, like,
I would personally rather be disciplined thanalways motivated. Like discipline is something that
even because there's so many days,I may not be motivated, but I
have the discipline to come in anddo it. But the thing I hear

(15:50):
from a lot of people is manlike, I just look at you and
I want to want it, LikeI just like, for some reason,
I just I wish I was inthis situation where I just wanted to do
these things, whether it's exercise orwhether it's eat right. How Like,
this might be an impossible question toanswer, But how difficult do you think

(16:11):
it is to change someone's mindset?Like when you're dealing with an athlete that's
relied on talent and just talent andthey come into a system like Alabama and
they realize that, Wow, there'sa lot of great players here, there's
a lot of great talent. Igot to play by the rules. And
there's specific things that in their youknow, daily habits that they're not doing

(16:32):
to play by the rules. Likedo you do you find it? I
mean, it's not impossible to changethem, but like, how do you
It might be an impossible question toanswer, but how do we actually it's
not It's actually not impossible. Ibelieve that I've found the answer. It's
one of the uniqueness the unique thingsthat I found in our coaching approach.

(16:52):
Having done this for eighteen years,I've been I've been doing this for over
eighteen years, and so in eighteenyears, I mean, you're going to
see people in sports business at thehighest hospital level and the highest performers.
I've found you and I talked aboutthis. I had you on our show
The Burn. Hopefully some of yourlisteners watched when I had you on The
Burn because it was an amazing episode. Yeah with you. But what I

(17:14):
consider the burn to be is there'sso many coaches and speakers that talk about
why and purpose. Right, Soif Derek and I were to talk about
his why and purpose, that's veryincredibly important. But if I really want
to push Derek, if I reallywant to talk about it, get him
to take his speed to the nextlevel and really find that next gear,
why and purpose is not going tobe enough. Derek and I are gonna

(17:37):
have to say, Derek, what'sthe burn? What's the underlying fire?
What's the reason why on the daythat you don't want to do it?
When you connect to that sacrifice,so you connect to that deep fire and
burn, you're going to go towork on the day you don't want to
do it. And hey, Derek, when you had like a record time
for you like that next day,so like you just won and you won

(17:59):
big, you're still hungry the nextday. How do you show up after
you win? And it's the burn? That ignites your why and purpose on
the days that you don't want todo it, and especially after you win.
And so one of the things CoachSaban when he brought me in and
it was such a blessing. Imean there's literally I almost saw it a

(18:19):
couple of times at Alabama. Ifsomebody comes in and the message doesn't resonate,
I mean, Saban will damn nearpull him off the stage and give
him an invitation to never come back. So the fact that I was there
for five years and I probably hadseventy five visits to the Alabama football program
is like unheard of. And oneof the things Coach Saban always had me

(18:41):
do every year every rookie class,all the new guys coming in, the
first message that they would get fromme was on the burn. And we
would talk about the burn, andwe would talk about discipline, and we
would talk about mindset. Because yourconfidence comes from your discipline, not talent.
A lot of people think, oh, well, I'm confident, I'm
talented. No, the real championsthey understand discipline and they hammer the discipline

(19:07):
because there's a burn and the reasonwhy they do it. So one of
my favorite stories of this burn conceptto frame this for people. So I
do this rookie training three years ago. Okay, So one of the rookies
stands up and comes up to mewhen I finish, and he comes up
and he says, hey, man, I want to tell you what my
burn is. I said, allright, tell me what your burn is.

(19:30):
He said, I wear the numberone because my little sister died when
she was won. And he said, when I put on that jersey,
I get the opportunity to do this, to put my family in a better
position that my little sister never hadthe opportunity for. And now I get
to do that for my family.You're like, this is a fricking eighteen

(19:53):
year old kid. And so thenwe walk out to practice. So a
lot of times, you know youI'll speak in the middle of the afternoon
or after a lift. So thenwe go out to practice. First player
I see when I walk into theindoor that day is this player. And
I see is number one. Iwalked up to him, I put my
arm around him, and I said, I will never look at your jersey

(20:18):
the same ever again. That playeris going to be drafted into the first
round of this year's NFL draft.That's the power of the burn. So
his why and purpose, like hisburn, is this little sister that never
got a chance to live. Likeyou think that kid's gonna waste days,

(20:38):
so he gets to become the catalystto completely change his family's life forever,
and you think that kid's gonna wastehis days. It's the same for me.
My mother left this earth far toosoon. She passed away eleven days
before my eighth birthday. We hadtwenty four hour nursing care in the house
my mother's last year. My motherwould come to the dinner table with an

(21:02):
ivy stand. When I say mymom a divorced mom divorced when I was
six months old. I never evenknew my parents together. Twenty four hour
nursing care in the house, andshe's coming to the dinner table with an
ivy stand. Sometimes it took onenurse, sometimes it took two to come
to the dining room table to askme how my day was at school.
And then my mother passes eleven daysbefore my eighth birthday when she's thirty eight

(21:25):
years old. I'm a forty fiveyear old man. That means I've been
given seven extra years that my mothernever got and you think I'm gonna waste
the day, and so that becomesa burn that ignites the wy and purpose
every day. So for me,Derek, and I can't waste to day.
I can't are my days perfect?Hell, no, I get it

(21:47):
handed to me. I will tellyou. We're recording this on a Thursday.
My Monday was absolutely terrible this week. I mean it was like I
got it handed to me. Andthen I woke up on Tuesday. It
was like, God, didn't youget my prayers. I didn't want another
one of these Tuesday. Tuesday startedworse than Monday. So the days weren't

(22:08):
perfect days. But I got tothe end of the day and I did
what I was supposed to do.The only thing I can attest to why
this player, why you guys,or why I fight through it, It's
because of this burn. Yeah,and we have what is it? What's
the alternative? Derek? Right?Like, what are we gonna do?
We're gonna stop and give give itup. You're gonna have a bad day

(22:29):
and crawl in bed Like I'm stubborn, Derek. I'll kick it right back
to you. But I just wantto say I'm stubborn, like listen.
I know. I know I'm aging. We all are. I know I'm
getting older. I'll be fifty andthree years. But just for the record,
before you get to do it,I just want to age like Derek,
because I mean, are you kiddingme? Derek? Derek, what

(22:51):
are you fifty? I'm turning fiftyfive this year. It's killing me like
mentally. Now people are gonna thinkI'm seventy when you say that, when
I just told them that I'm fortyfive. It's been got great energy with
the dude's like seventy. I'll takeyour energy. I'll take your energy any
day. Man. It's just I'mstubborn. I believe it. I believe
it can be trained. I believethis stuff can be trained. I believe

(23:11):
it can be developed. But likeanything else in life, we're going to
respond to things differently. There mightbe a drill you give someone and they
nail it out of the gate,and there might be that same drill you
get to another person and they're abubbling idiot for the next few days.
It's just like we things click differently. I just think we can't give up.
We've got to keep pushing. Sois it is it a lot more

(23:32):
difficult to take someone who hasn't hadthe poverty or the trauma or the deprivation.
And maybe you're working with some guywho grew up in Beverly Hills or
the Hamptons, and I got tomotivate this guy. How do I find
the burn for somebody like that whodoesn't have something to draw from? I

(23:52):
love it. It's an amazing question. I'm so glad that you asked it,
Derek. And that's probably the mostcommon question that I get, because
that's that'll be an answer. Peoplesay, man like I feel terrible that
you went through that with your mom. I never experienced that, or you
talk about this play. I neverhad any loss like that. And so
typically I find the burn either comesfrom something that somebody's set, like my

(24:12):
parents sacrifice for me. They boththey both had multiple jobs, or I'm
currently sacrificing or becoming the example forthe little eyes that are watching me in
my house. So you could makeit. You could say to somebody,
Hey, it doesn't matter that youcame from X, Y and Z background,
you now have two children of yourown. What do you want your
example to be? Because your exampleof how you act is what your kids

(24:36):
understand hard work looks like and whatdiscipline looks like. So if you pay
attention to that, they may thensay, I never thought of it that
way. Why am I so lazyat my workouts? Why am I lazy
with my nutrition? Why am Ilazy with my work? My kids are
now watching me, And so itcomes in different formats. However, I
always encourage people, and I'm goingto give you another story, an example
where it kind of speaks to theexample you're giving, Derek, because people

(24:59):
get say the sacrifice. There's afinancial advisor that I worked with down in
Florida and it's just a grown man, I mean, three kids at home.
He's like, man, I justI've heard He's like, Ben,
I've heard you talk about this foryears. I just don't know what my
burn is. And so we settledon something that was actually monetary for him.
I do typically tell people like,let's not make it monetary, Let's

(25:21):
find something deeper, because then it'lllast forever. Like you hear my story
that lasts forever. This player atlasts forever. So I said, okay,
the sacrifice, the example for yourkids. It's not hitting you,
I said, man Like what's areally big goal you have right now?
He said. Man, he goes, I want to build a dream home
for my wife. And he says, like, when I tell you like
I want to build this dream home, I'm talking like, when my wife

(25:45):
walks into the kitchen, I wanther to look at the knobs. I'll
never forget this. I want tolook at the knobs on the counters and
on like on the drawers, andI want to know that the knobs were
the exact ones that my wife wanted, not like well, we had to
kind of skimp on the knobs becausewe needed to say. He's like,
I want the house to be exactlywhat she wanted. I said, look,

(26:07):
even though my burn is emotional,maybe that's your burn. So I
said, let's every day imagine youwake up and you say, I'm gonna
work so hard so that I canbuild this dream home. It was over
a year later. I'm back inthis firm in Orlando. It's a Fortune
one hundred financial firm. I'm backin this firm. This is one of
the leaders of the organization. Andhe says to me, He's like,
man, he's like, I'm backto being like lazy. I don't know

(26:30):
what is going on with me.And I looked at him and I said,
your house is beautiful. And hesays what And I said, dude,
your house is beautiful. He goes, what are you talking about?
I said, I saw your housethe pictures on Facebook, like three four
months ago. The house is awesome. You built the dream house. He's
like, thanks, I said,are you getting my gist here? I

(26:53):
said, you're in the house.Your burn no longer exists because you built
the dream home. I said,So now we need to reset and figure
out is it monetary? Is theresomething emotional now that you found in yourself?
So Derek, yes, sometimes itmight be emotional, but typically it's
something different. But whether it's emotional, whether it's monetary, whether it's sacrifice,

(27:17):
whether it's pain. What I've foundis when you help take people to
them owning their burn, they thentake ownership. Right. So Derek,
let's look at that. Look atit. This is the new AI.
Can you believe that? Was that? The perfect If you're gonna put video
out is that. I don't evenknow what the hell I just did,
and we just why is your screendoing that? I'm not I'm not getting

(27:41):
fireworks I've got the special screen seedoctor Lyon. She gives me the the
extra juice where my fingers I getthis stuff that sends off fireworks. So
Derek, I would say to you, and if people are listening to this,
they're going, what the hell arethese guys talking about right now?
But Derek, I would say,you think of a time where you were
training somebody like for speed, right, and like you're looking at this person

(28:03):
and you're going, I know thatthey can give more. But if you
point into that person's face and you'relike, you're slack, and they're like,
dude, this Derek, this guyis and they start to resist you.
Right. But when you can findthat way to say something in that
particular way where you help them findand they're like, man, I can
give more, and then they ownit. What happens, Derek, Yeah,

(28:29):
they magically are better. Yeah,yeah, really are. And then
if they chose it and they goI created the feeling. That's why I
think motivation is fleeting. Like Ihate when people tell me, oh,
he's a great motivational speaker. I'mlike, please stop calling me a motivational
speaker, because motivation is fleeting.I'm a coach, like if I can't
make a long term difference in yourgrowth, and you're thinking and how you

(28:53):
show up in your life, likeI don't want any part of motivating you
for an hour and then you forgetwhat the hell I said a week later,
Like, let's figure out a wayto move the needle. So when
you do that with somebody with speedand then they own it, they're like,
you see what I did, andthen you just keep pouring into them.
Man, I saw that switch inyou. I loved it. Like,
what do you want to do tomorrowthat causes us to hit that switch

(29:15):
again? Oh, Derek, canwe repeat what we did? Your darn
right, hold it. I'm gonnaput that down on our plan notes for
tomorrow. And then they want toattack it the next day. Because that's
far different than you pointing their facegoing you need to do this or we're
not gonna be able to improve yourspeed. They're just gonna resist it.
So do you feel like everyone hassome sort of burn inside of them?

(29:37):
Do you every single person? Andso one of the questions, let's say
if you guys were to adopt thisand you say, Okay, I'm gonna
start talking to people to go deeperwith them. And there's that person they're
just resisting, they're pushing. It'sthe twenty five year old guy or girl
and she saying I had to grabyour future and bring it to today.
I love that question. I alwayssay, twenty five year old Ki,

(30:00):
I don't see this. Stuff's toobig for me. I'm just a kid,
I don't have a family. Youdon't watch it. Do me a
favor, grab your future and bringit to today. And all of a
sudden, what do they do.They start saying, well, here's what
I want in the future. Iwant to be married one day. I
want to have Tell me more aboutyour kid. How many kids do you
want to have? To make?Two kids? Maybe three? So now
you've got a person who told youthey've got no clarity, no vision,

(30:22):
no nothing. They want to bemarried, they want to have kids.
Do you ever want to run abusiness or anything like? Oh, that's
a dream of mine. Now theystart leaning in right, because people want
to resist the work that's gonna comewith making a commitment to you down that
I want my body to look thatway, or Derek, I want you
to coach me to make this happen. They know if they admit that to

(30:42):
you, there's work behind it,and they'd rather just shut you down and
go on about their life than leaninto the tough conversation the work, or
actually reveal what they really believe.So when you say grab your future and
bring it to today, if theygo, I don't care about my future.
I don't want a future. Idon't want to work with you anyway.
So thank you for you know,answering the question. Honestly, let's

(31:03):
just move on about our way.But we all know that's not gonna happen.
They're gonna open up to you.Ben. I'm curious about your background,
and you heard a bit about youryouth, but like what academic choices,
what things that were you drawn to? And then how did you develop
yourself beyond you know, once youstarted working. I'm curious about that.

(31:26):
Yes I was. I was.I'm really a very brilliant guy. You
know, I'm one of those guyslike IQ off the charts. I was
the guy nineteen on my act.So I'm talking about like a level of
brilliance that is just like so honestto god. I went to Michigan State
University and from Saint Louis right,Saint Louis kid, you go to Michigan

(31:47):
State University. I actually was agood student because I worked hard. So
I had a three point six GPA. I had a nineteen on my ACT.
It was automatic acceptance to Michigan State. At that point in time,
they wanted out of state students sobad that a nineteen on your ACT was
automatic acceptance. It's perfect for aguy like me. I can't stand these
standardized tests, so thankfully I gotin. Now speed forward to today,

(32:09):
if you would send a nineteen toMichigan State, they'd say, sir,
this is a mistake. Like Idon't even think we're going to cash your
check for your application. And soI was never the guy that was really
really smart. But you know what, I always loved people. So every
opportunity I had, I would justI would lean into learning. I would
lean into the details. I wouldlean into the work. I was willing

(32:30):
to get my hands dirty. Iwanted to have those mentors. I wanted
to have those coaches. I wantedto have those people would pour into me.
So a lot of what I've donein my life has come from those
hard knocks of life, that hardlearning. So I went into sales,
and I was a paper broker myfirst job out of college and literally,
like Steve Carell out of the office. So I went into sales because I

(32:51):
loved relationships. I had a fatherwho a lot of pain that came and
struggle in my relationship with my dad. He was an attorney and literally,
if I would have gone to lawaaw school, he would have given me
his law firm. And my dadwas a trial attorney that didn't lose for
fifteen years. And Johnny Cochrane,who was you know, OJ Simpson's attorney.
I mean my dad was of counselfor Johnny Cochrane and Saint Louis,

(33:13):
So you're talking about I could havetaken over a firm that had brand notoriety.
I would have had it made.And I was like, you know
what, I'm going to go makea life of my own. I didn't
want the easy way, so I'vealways wanted this hard way of life,
and so I went into sales jobsand you learn about people and then the
sports stuff. I kind of fellinto it. What I meant high school
basketball coach. I got lucky.So I worked hard in sales and I

(33:37):
had great disciplines So that's how Istarted getting invited to speak. And then
I started realizing when I paid attentionto patterns of behavior, when I really
started to study mindset or I wouldstudy sports psychologists and a lot of it.
Derek, I got lucky, man. I mean, one of the
sports psychologists for the Saint Louis Cardinals. This was years after me doing research

(33:57):
and studying and almost like getting adoctorate on my own. Right, I
go sit in his office. Hisname is doctor Jason Self. Brilliant,
brilliant guy. It's become a dearfriend. He's had a huge impact on
my life. He used to coachme. He was a sports psychologist for
the Saint Louis Cardinals from six toeleven. The bookends both world championships.

(34:17):
It was probably like two thousand andtwelve when I first walked into his office
to meet him. What are thethings you talk about, Ben, what
are your tools? What's your training? And I literally told him. He
goes, this is like the sameprinciples that I teach, Like, this
is all sports psychology based. Andso Derek, I just kind of fell
into it because I paid attention andI studied and I worked and I'm not

(34:44):
saying that somebody doesn't need a doctorate, but I'll tell you one of the
things for me that's been a majoradvantage. When I go into an Alabama,
when I go into a Kansas state, the kids don't feel threatened by
me. They're like, Oh,that's my guy. Oh Ben's here,
that's my guy. So because I'mnot doctor, it's actually been an advantage
for me. And then when theyrealize the years that I've taken to study,

(35:06):
the mindset and the books and thetraining and the experience and the breakthroughs
I've had with people, I haven'tneeded the doctrine. I feel like I
got one, if that makes sense. I also think you're like, you're
like a world class communicator, rightLike, I think you're on like another
level when it comes down to howyou communicate and how you deliver that message.

(35:27):
It's very I think those are likein my business, I would always
separate. I'm like, oh,are they a good trainer, are they
a good coach? Or are theyboth? And people like what's the difference.
I'm like, Well, a traineris someone that understands, you know,
or they should understand some anatomy ofkinesiology is gone, taking a certification,
understands the movements, et cetera.And like, what's a good coach.
I'm like a good coach that cantake all information and deliver it and

(35:51):
make it effective and allow that personto own it and improve. A good
coach can come into a room andtake someone who maybe doesn't have much to
discipline or much. I know,we don't like the word motivation, but
you know, they can make youwant to want it. And I think,
like, I think you're way smarterthan you than you then you lead
on to the I get it.I mean you are very smart, but

(36:12):
I think your your ability to communicatewith people. I think that is like
next level stratospy or stuff that we'retalking about here. And and obviously like
you gotta like uplow and smoke upyour ass here. Like Nick Saban,
who's the eleventh they rank the eleventhbest world leader or a leader in the
world or whatever the actual term was. He's not going to bring in some

(36:35):
schlep speak to his team. I'mactually incredibly impressed. How you know he
is that smart? Right? Likehe's like, well, wait a second,
football and skill and weightlifting and supplementsand all that stuff and film tape.
It's that's just not enough. LikeI need a gun in there who
can actually make sure that my player'sminds are right and make sure that they're

(36:58):
optimizing at peak performance. And Ithink that's what that's what I'm most impressed
about. When you talk about him, it's like, oh my god,
he recognizes in a way what makeshim so great is that he recognizes he
can't do it all on his own, Like he has to bring in a
plus people to help him facilitate thoseneeds. And it's actually and I'm humbling
hearing you say those things, andI appreciate all the words and thank you.

(37:22):
It's the amazing thing when I sharethings about Saban, because it's like
the Saban that people see on thesidelines, they think it would be the
reverse, right, Like that guywould never let anybody in the building.
He probably does everything himself. Heprobably micro manages everybody. No, he
just had an expectation that was sohigh that every detail had to be covered.

(37:43):
I was told on one of myfirst visits, he looked at the
food budget. The guy literally ranthat. Now, he didn't spend a
lot of time on it, butlike he was line itaing and looking at
the food budget, because he treatedthat football program like it was an organization.
Literally, when he made me myoffer to bring me in, he's
like, I could foresee you beingthe mental conditioning coach for our organization.

(38:06):
Like I almost wanted to start laughingin his office. I'm like, did
you just call this an organization?I thought this was a college football team.
But he literally treated it like Ihave to understand the details. And
a great CEO does what he leveragesso that you can get better. A
really great CEO doesn't say I doeverything by myself. And those are the

(38:28):
things that blew me away that you'recatching on too about sab And it was
amazing. He would leverage everything itwas. It was fascinating. Don't you
find it ironic? Though? Howthe CEO who is worth millions or billions
of dollars and you've worked with them, and I've worked with them, they're
so they're performing at such a peaklevel in one area and then you can

(38:52):
look at another area of their lifeand they're like, I'm gonna use this
term. I'm sorry, a mentalmidget. A mental midget, like whether
it's their health, whether it's howthey the relationships they surround themselves with personally,
I'm like, wait a second,you're putting yourself and I've had this
conversation with some big names. You'resurrounding yourself with this a team in business,

(39:14):
and you're hanging out with these peopleand your social like you follow the
saying it doesn't really align. Whydo you think that is? When they're
and you said it earlier? Theapproach is so similar, isn't it.
So I'm a big believer. SoI teach a concept and I've shared this
for over fifteen years now called yourPrize Fighter Day and it comes from just
like this analogy of life that youknow, life is like a boxing match.

(39:37):
It's a fight, you know.I don't find it coincidence that a
calendar year is twelve rounds, right, championship fight is twelve rounds. So
it's one prize fighter day at atime. And so I always break it
down and encourage people just through askingquestions, what do you need to do
every day personally to feel like youwant? What do you need to do
every day professionally to feel like youwant? What do you need to do

(39:59):
every day that's of service to somebodyelse? And if you can do something
that's personal, business related and ofservice every day and you stack those days
on top of each other, thebyproduct is winning at very high levels.
So what I think happens is isyou take this billionaire, this leader.
You know, she's made so muchmoney she could never spend it in her
life, but people always told hershe was so great, So she got

(40:22):
so caught up in her identity atwork. She never felt that she had
to have an identity doing anything else. So because you get so caught up
and that's your identity, and nobodywas there to support her or challenge her
because it was you make money,you do this, get that became the
idea. There was nothing else.And that's where I love having breakthroughs with
individuals like that, because I say, hey, look, I think it's

(40:43):
amazing what you've done, but whatare the things you want to do personally?
What are the things you want todo charitably? Where are the gaps
in terms of what's really going tofulfill you in your life? And then
they say, gosh, I alwayswanted to start this charity. What do
you need to do to make ithappen? Money's not the issue, So
what do you need to do orI want to go give back and serve
in communities. Why aren't you doingit? Hey? I wish that I

(41:07):
was in better shape. Okay,well you're not going to get in better
shape by snapping your fingers. You'regoing to go meet with Don Saladino and
he's literally going to put together aplan where I've heard you talk about it,
where you say, look, ifsomebody's standing us twenty eight minutes,
I'm going to build the best twentyeight minute plan they've ever seen in their
life. I'm not going to pushsomebody to work out for ninety minutes if
they say, look, I'd ratherdie than work out for ninety minutes.

(41:29):
But Don, what do you knowif I can encourage that person and build
a plan where they go hard fortwenty eight minutes, Derek, if you
built the same plan, isn't itbetter to help them fall in love with
twenty eight minutes, which you knowis what I think I can give a
little more. All right, let'sgo thirty five, Let's go to forty
five, And the next thing,you know, in eighteen months, they're
like, Hey, this ninety minuteworkout is the greatest thing I've ever done.

(41:51):
It fuels everything in my life.And that's the same person that was
overweight and told you they couldn't doit. So I think it's shifting the
belief system once again back to ownership, that like, don't define yourself in
one area of your life. Let'sfigure out the other areas where you can
give more and create more of abalanced life. Which most people say,
like, that's my definition of balance. Just hit these areas that's balanced.

(42:14):
When most people say that doesn't exist, I'm like, it's bullshit. Of
course it exists. You can't dosomething to make a difference in somebody's life
every day. Simple. It seemslike a very simple concept. And a
lot of people I always like tosay they're deposits people and they're withdrawals type
of people. Right, I justgot off the phone with doctor g Wore,
our good friend, and doctor gis a deposits type of person.

(42:36):
You're a deposits type of person.Me and Derek are deposits type of people.
And when you start surrounding yourself withthose people, I think that's what
makes it special because we all wantto see each other win. Right,
And the withdrawal type of people,which I've had in my life and people
are very close to me, itbecomes very draining. But I think you
got to be a mature adult andyou got to learn to start eliminating that

(42:57):
those toxic relationships and those people thatcould be bringing you bringing you down,
and shame on both of us.We love you, doctor g. We
wouldn't be on here if it wasn'tfor you, So shout out, we
should have done that at the beginning. Shout see anything else you want to
add there. I've got a question, and I don't know if you're involved

(43:19):
in I've been involved with like transitionsof the leadership, but obviously Alabama's going
to go is going through one.They have a new coaching staff, and
I'm wondering how do you make thosetransitions successful? Taking what was good from
the previous regime and maybe adding somethingnew with the new people coming in like
we've seen, Like I'm in thePacific Northwest, so I see what's happened

(43:42):
with the Bowling Corporation and they're goingthrough some rough times now because there's been
leadership transitions. How would you handlethat if you're working with Alabama? Yeah,
so it's believe it or not.I have a lot of experience in
this area because when we laughed.So Coach Climan, who I mentioned,
is the same winning his coach overthe last fifteen years. So he's the
head football coach at Kansas State.We just started our tenth year together.

(44:07):
The first four years together were atNorth Dakota State, so we won three
national championships as a one double apowerhouse. Carson wentz his senior year.
He went on to win a SuperBowl with the Eagles. Has had a
great NFL career. He's had someamazing years. Carson. My first year
was his senior year, so fouryears there, three national championship. We

(44:29):
then go and replace at Kansas StateBill Snyder. So imagine this, Derek,
you're replacing the legendary Bill Snyder.The football stadium is named after this
guy. There's a statue out infront of the stadium of the head coach
you're replacing. I'll never forget it. We're sitting in Coach Clemban's office at

(44:51):
North Kota State and we're preparing togo win this third and final national championship.
He'd already accepted the job. He'sa man of high integrity, so
he told the athlete director Gene Taylorat Kansas State. We are I will
not accept this job unless you letme finish my season here and help these
kids win a national championship. Sowe're sitting getting ready to prepare this national
championship and he looks at me andhe's like, are we crazy? I'm

(45:15):
like, for what? And he'slike for taking this job at Kansas State?
He's like, brother, are wecrazy? I said, Coach,
what do you mean? He's like, well, you look at the media,
They're like, are you nuts?Like why would you go and try?
The stadium is named after this guy. They've actually had a couple of
bad years in a row. Recruitingis down. You're setting yourself up to

(45:37):
fail, Like, who would takethat job? That is gonna blow you
away? That day I said tohim because he said, what's our messaging
going to be when we go seethis team? Okay, it's one of
my favorite stories to tell. Iteach this. It's called aggressive patience.

(45:58):
The last book I wrote was calledcalled The Standard, and there's I literally
tell this story in the book andit's all about aggressive patience. So we're
sitting in his office, I go, coach, we're not crazy. I
believe he says, Okay, well, if you believe in this, what's
our message going to be. Atthe time, I was reading a book
called Pound the Stone by a guynamed Joshua Medcalf, which you know essentially
pound the Stone. Show up everyday. You don't break open a stone

(46:22):
with one swing, you do itwith a thousand swings. And so all
of a sudden, we're sitting inhis office and I say, I think
the message is pound the Stone.So I did two things after I left
his office that day. Number one, I came home. I went to
home depot. I bought a sledgehammer. If you guys go on my Instagram,
you'll see me with the original sledgehammerwhen I just gave my talk to
kick off year six at Kansas State. Things are going pretty well there.

(46:45):
We're back for year six, right, So we weren't crazy for taking the
job. But I literally had thesledgehammer. I painted it purple with purple
spray paint, put the Wildcat logoson it. At FedEx. Did this
with my daughter at the time,she's just a little girl, and we
literally take that out. It's onthe field for every game and it hangs
in the locker room. That wasone thing. Second thing was I said,
coach, the message will be poundthe stone, and on the back

(47:07):
I wrote down all these goals thatI believe this team would achieve. Literally,
I said, the first year,we're going to go eight and five.
That first year we went eight andfive. I said that we would
win a Big Twelve championship by twentytwenty one. We ended up winning the
first Big Twelve Championship in twenty twentytwo. Derek, people thought we were
crazy. So I know this isa long answer that you probably didn't expect,

(47:30):
but I think it's worth it.Here's why. It comes down to
your belief. So the belief waswe're sitting in Coach Clemban's office. You're
crazy for taking the job. Butit doesn't matter what naysayers say in your
life. So everybody listening, it'sprobably a great way for us to finish
this right because everybody's got naysayers andpeople telling you you can't do this and

(47:51):
you're not good enough, or you'renot fast enough, or you're not It
doesn't matter what people think. Itmatters what you believe, and we believe
that there were principles learned from theseyoung men, not that we taught the
young men at North Dakota State,that we learned from them, and being
a part of them winning a nationalchampionship, we knew we could find those

(48:12):
great qualities in these young men atKansas State. And if we would help
these young men see in themselves whatthey had, and if they took ownership
of that program by pounding the stoneevery single day, the crazy ass goals
that I wrote before I ever evengave a single talk at Kansas State would
come true. So for Coach deBoor at Alabama, he's going to go

(48:36):
in with belief and he's got tomake sure don't go be Nick Saban And
Coach Cleman's done a great job ofnot being Bill Snyder. He walked in
there and said, look, wewill respect the foundation and legacy that Bill
Snyder's built, and all we doevery day is try to build on that
legacy. And that's the same thingthat Kaylen de Boor does. And if

(48:57):
Kaylen de bor goes in with amessage with fire and discipline and things that
have built Alabama, I think he'sgoing to do a hell of a job.
And there's no doubt in my mind. He and coach Climb and are
friends. Debor is a winner.Now. Is he gonna win a national
championship in the first year? Maybehe will. And Jalen Milroe, the
quarterback who's still a dear friend ofmine. I love that kid to death.
I've worked with him since he wasa freshman. I hope they do

(49:20):
win a national championship. It'd begreat for to be a hell of a
story. But if they don't,it may take a couple of years.
It took us four years to winthat first Big twelve championship when people told
us we were crazy. So Ithink it's got to be belief. You
got to build people up, yougot to have a willingness to learn,
and you got to walk in thereknow and we can learn from these kids
because these kids have to take ownership. It's not what I can teach them.

(49:44):
I love it. So let's leteveryone know. First off, thank
you for your generous amount of timehere. I really appreciate. Obviously,
we feel like we can continue thisfor another two hours, but can you
let everyone know your Instagram handle,your website where they can find you for
more of your work, books,Bennewman dot Net is our website at continued

(50:06):
Fight is Instagram and would love tostay connected and Don I look forward to
you and I continuing to do greatthings together. Derek, I look forward
to the opportunity to meet you inperson in the future. And if I
could just share one final thing,it's the greatest life lesson I ever learned.
It came from my mom. It'snot how long you live, it's
how you choose to live your life. So it's a blessing for me to

(50:28):
be able to spend time with greatguys like you, and I think for
all of us, just choose tobe disciplined, choose to believe in yourself
and go write one hell of astory. Bet you're rockstar. Brother.
I can't wait for you to getout here and for us to do more
work together. We got a lotto do together. But thanks for leading
by example and inspiring and keep doingyou brother. Appreciate you both all right,
Take care guys. Thanks Thanks BenParticu

All Episodes

Episode 163 - Ben Newman: Peak Performance Coaching in Business, Sports & Life

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 163 - Ben Newman: Peak Performance Coaching in Business, Sports & Life