May 28, 2025 • 28 mins
Saying NO doesn't make you selfish - it makes you wise. You can't pour from an empty cup, and you were never meant to!
Join me as we look more into how you can create the boundaries you need to protect your peace.
Join me as we look more into how you can create the boundaries you need to protect your peace.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hello everyone, and thank you so much for joining me
for Daily Spark with Doctor Angela. I'm your host, Doctor Angela.
But Jester, you guys know who I am, and you
know what I like to do on my shows. Say
it with me. I want to enlighten, inspire, and empower
you to become your best self. No scripture reminds us
that the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches,
(00:30):
but a tiny spark can set a great forest on
a fire. And that's what we want to do today.
We want to get you fired up about the topic.
Today we'll be talking about the art of saying no,
protecting your peace without guilt. So go get comfy, get cozy,
(00:52):
get your coffee, or get your tea because we are
about to get started. Hello everyone, and thank you so
much for joining me for Daily Spark with Doctor Angela.
I am really excited about this topic, not because I
am teaching you how to say no, but because I
am reminding you that you have permission to take care
(01:15):
of yourself and on the occasion say no. Now. Setting
boundaries is prioritizing your wellbeing, your mental health, your self care,
but it is also helping you to avoid burnout. So
(01:36):
welcome back to Daily Spark with Doctor Angela. Here, you
know what we try to do. We want to create
peace and faith and have a fierce opportunity to settle
in and talk about those things that really matter to
kingdom builders. And today we're having a much needed, sole,
(01:57):
honest conversation no protecting your peace without guilt. So let
me ask you something. When was the last time you
said yes but you knew in your heart that it
should have been a no. Yeah exactly, I've been there too,
(02:23):
and far too often. It is what we do because
we want to be seen as being nice or kind.
We want to always be a team player, we want
to get along or perhaps you're a people pleaser. It
doesn't matter which checkbox you take off more times than not.
(02:46):
We're saying yes because we want others to think positively
about us. Think of it this way instead, Every yes
costs you something. Make sure it's worth the price. We
(03:06):
are taught to be everything to everyone. But the truth
is burnout. Burnout is real, and it doesn't make you
more useful. In fact, it makes you disappear. And you,
my friend, are too valuable to vanish. Do to burn out,
(03:33):
So you may be asking why is saying no so hard?
That is a good question. So let's start with the guilt,
that creeping voice that says they're going to be disappointed
in you, They're going to be disappointed in me. I
(03:55):
don't want them to be disappointed in me. You know
that whole conversation, or perhaps yours is what if they
stop asking me? What if they think I'm no longer
ask worthy? H I don't want that to happen. I
want to be on the list next year or next time.
(04:16):
You know that conversation, or perhaps yours may be more like, well,
I don't want to seem selfish. Okay, fine, I'll do it.
You know that conversation. It doesn't matter which voice you
hear in your head, which conversation you have. But so
(04:41):
many people are having those types of conversations with themselves
because they don't want to say no, and the guilt
is what makes them say yes. But hear me, saying
no doesn't make you selfish, it makes you wise. You
can't pour from an empty cup, and you were never
(05:05):
meant to pour from an empty cup? So what can
we do? Or here's what we forgot? And I want
to help you Remember, no is a complete sentence, two letters,
one period. No makes space for better yeses. No is
(05:35):
part of stewardship of time, of energy, and peace. I
know you were never taught to think of it in
that matter, were you? Because by and large, we were
all taught that unless we're saying yes to the request,
(05:56):
that we weren't being good kingdom builders, that we weren't
being good friends, good siblings, good coworkers, or even good
family members. But instead we have to be mindful of
what we are able to give in that moment. Let's
look at Proverbs four, verse twenty three. Above all else,
(06:21):
guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Guarding your peace is not optional, it's mandatory. Guarding your
peace is not optional, it's mandatory. So why would you
(06:46):
make something so simple mandatory? Shouldn't people already know? Nope,
they don't. Why because again, the learned behavior, the thing
that we were taught to do, was to default to
the yes. It could be your last dollar, it could
(07:07):
be your last pair of shoes, it could be your
last tank of gas. It could be your last sheet
of paper, your last pair of ear rings, your last
fill in the blank. And you were taught to give it.
While that is charitable, and let's not get the too confused.
(07:29):
It is always good to give as you can to charity.
Let's make sure we make that clear. But when it
comes to your time, talent, treasure, and your ability to do,
we have to be mindful. So what am I asking
(07:52):
you to do? I want for you to start setting
boundaries with grace. Setting boundaries with grace is what you
do when you not only love the other person, to
love yourself as well. Boundaries are love in action, if
(08:15):
you will to others and for your own mental well being.
You're not pushing people away, absolutely not. Instead, you're showing
them that this is where connection is, this is where
it thrives. But if I give you this, this is
(08:36):
depleted and that isn't what you want. So in saying no,
not this time, you are telling them I always want
to give you my best, and today my best is
not up to standard. Today my best needs to take
(09:00):
somewhat of a step back or rest. So how can
we make sure that we are setting these boundaries with grace?
That's such a good question. Let me give you three
ways that you can do that. Number one, start small,
(09:24):
that's right, Start small, so many times we think that
everything we do has to be so large, so grand.
Absolutely not. It is okay to start with a baby step.
So start small. Say no to the non essentials. So
(09:45):
I know behaviors are hard to change, and usually one
reason why they're hard to change is because you don't
have anything to replace it with. That goes for anything
that we believe to be true. If you believe that
(10:06):
the color blue is in fact purple because you were
taught that for whatever reason. But for this example, the
color blue, the actual scientific color blue, you were taught
it was purple. So if I could show you the
science that says it is in fact blue, that would
(10:31):
help you replace your misinformation. The same is true for
the things that we learn in and about our world.
We are given so much miss information that it can
be very difficult to weed through and find the actual truth.
(10:53):
So what do you do? You start small the same
way that we are starting small with grace, with setting
our boundaries, say no to the non essentials. Number two
is communicate clearly. No long explanations are needed. There's no
(11:18):
reason for you to follow up. No, I'm so sorry,
I can't. I have to take my dog to the groomers,
and then I told my mom I would stop by,
and I think my husband has something for me to do,
and then my BFF wants me to go with her. Nope,
you don't have to do all of that. Don't have
to do all of that, ladies, We do not have
(11:41):
to explain all of the reasons why we are saying no.
Let's take a queue from our male counterparts on that
they kind of don't have a problem and say no, hey,
but can you help me this weekend? Nope? Sorry, I can't.
Maybe next time, right, shit, sweet, and to the point. Now.
(12:02):
Of course, I know there are going to be some
folks that explain sure, but let's take the cue from
the majority. We do not have to explain our reason
for saying no. It just simply is a no. Now,
if it makes you feel better about saying the no,
(12:26):
then by all means, do what is going to help
you feel better. But eventually you will transition to the
point where you are able to say no, I'm sorry
I can't and just keep going. Number three is hold
the line lovingly but firmly. You know what I mean.
(12:50):
There's that one person who feels as though no one
can say no to me, or their attitude may be well,
you ask them, but I didn't. I can get them
to say yes. There are going to be those personality
types in our lives. And some of you may even
(13:12):
be laughing because you are that person. Raye, Oh, I
can get anybody to crumple under the power of my voice.
And that may very well be true ninety nine percent
of the time, but you will occasionally run into that
one percent that says the power of my no is unmatched.
(13:35):
So hold the line lovingly but firmly, because we are
setting our boundaries with grace. Perhaps this is for the
person who isn't used to saying no. This might be
where you feel that you need to give an explanation. No,
(13:57):
I'm so sorry, I can't today. I have promise to
fill in the plank. Well, you know you could always
stop by after you get done there. Oh well, hm,
that really wasn't on my Yeah, it'd be okay. You
can go in and sway by, right, and it's right
there that you go. Sure, I can do that. You
(14:21):
don't want to, but you don't want to be mean.
You don't want to be seen again in the wrong light.
But if you're truly tired. If you truly cannot and
you need some me time, and this is the only
time in the week that you are able to recharge
your batteries, hold the line lovingly, but firmly. Let me
(14:48):
give you this as an example. I'd love to help,
but I'm at capacity right now. Please keep me in
mind next time. Let me say it again. I'd love
to help, but I'm at capacity right now. Please keep
(15:08):
me in mind next time. Now, you don't have to
say it with attitude. You don't have to say it
with your hand on your hip or any of that.
You just have to say it. Oh, I'm so sorry.
I wish I could help, but I'm at capacity right now.
Please keep me in mind next time. Okay, thanks. Oh
(15:33):
I'd love to help, but I'm at capacity right now.
Please keep me in mind next time. See, it doesn't
matter how you say it. The important part is that
you do is that you're respectful of the other person,
because that's what you're really concerned about, right, is that
you don't want them to feel anything other than positive.
(15:56):
So say it with that intention. But say or perhaps
this one is a little better for you. I'm prioritized
for the next couple of weeks, so I won't be
able to join you. Hmmm, that's an interesting way of
saying it. I know it's different. It's still a no,
(16:20):
but you're saying it in a different way. I'm prioritized
for the rest of the week, so I won't be
able to join you. That simply means there are other
things that have taken priority over this particular day, that time,
this event, whatever it is, and you have to attend
(16:41):
to those things. Now, you can use these lines for
your personal agendas or even for your work, but the
idea is to get used to being able to lovingly,
kindly set boundaries. Boundaries aren't wall their doors with door
(17:02):
knobs that you control. Well, everyone, it's time for us
to take a very short break, but don't worry. We'll
be back right after this.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Hi everyone, Doctor Angela here. Did you know that daily
spark is now on Facebook? That's right, you can visit
with me at facebook dot com forward slash Daily's spark
with Doctorandela. I want to know more about what you're thinking.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
I'd love to know which interview did you find the
most entertaining or the most informative. I want to talk
to you and I want you to be able to
talk to me, simply visit Facebook dot com, forward slash
Daily Spark with Doctorandela.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And we are back. Thank you so much for joining
me for Daily Sparker Doctor Angela. I'm your host, Doctor Angela.
By's Jester. Today we are talking about the art of
saying no, protecting your peace without guilt. So what are
some other things that you can do or how should
you look at this protecting your peace and saying no.
(18:34):
I want you to think of it as prioritizing self
care without shame. You've probably heard the phrase self care
isn't selfish, But let's take it just a little bit
deeper than that. Self care is stewardship. Jesus even took
(18:57):
time to withdraw and rest if he needed it. How
much more do we see? Your peace is part of
your calling. Your rest is part of your readiness. Your
no is part of your yes to God. Matthew eleven
(19:21):
twenty eight says it like this, Come to me all
who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Rest.
Rest is holy, guilt free peace is your portion. You know,
(19:41):
we have to remember that even in the Book of Genesis,
we understand God did all of these awesome and amazing things,
and then on the seventh day he rested. But yet
we as human beings, think that we must be little
(20:05):
bunnies just go go go, go, go, go, go go go,
and that just isn't the case. So what does RESTful
living look like. That's totally completely up to you. In fact,
it's something that you should consider and think about. Rest
(20:27):
sometimes looks like just not going to work that day,
like not physically going to your workplace. Perhaps it's just
working from home or resting. Could be that you've decided
that you're going to take a half a day of work.
Maybe resting for you means that you're going to go
(20:50):
out into the country instead of staying in the city.
You're going to go to the beach or to the mountains.
There's nothing like spending time at the lake house, right
just being away from whatever distracts you, from whatever keeps
(21:11):
you in such a tight ball you want to step
away from that. Maybe it's not being on your laptop
or on your phone. And I know there are so
many of us that are tied to our phones because
of what we do. I understand that, but making sure
(21:31):
that you put your phone on, Do not disturb for
perhaps just one solid straight hour, so that you can
have time to just be, to drink your coffee or
your tea, to spend some time with the kids or
the nieces and nephews, or to take a great bath,
(21:56):
whatever it is, just some time to yourself. That's what
RESTful living could look like. But only you know the
best answer for you. So remember this. Even though you
are living a faith fulfilled life, you're not obligated to
(22:18):
do everything. You are not called to carry every burden.
You do not have to apologize for choosing peace. So
repeat after me. I am allowed to rest. I am
(22:44):
allowed to rest. I am worthy of peace. I am
worthy of peace. I can say no and still be kind.
(23:04):
I can say no and still be kind. I choose
boundaries that honor God and protect me. I choose boundaries
that honor God and protect me. Remember, my dear Sparker,
(23:33):
you don't owe everyone access. You owe your self alignment.
You will keep in perfect peace. We know that you can.
Why because scripture tells us so. Isaiah chapter twenty six,
verse three says it like this, you will keep in
(23:57):
perfect peace. Those who's my are steadfast because they trust
in you, So take a moment today to pause to think,
to protect your peace on purpose. So what are some
(24:18):
ways that you can do this? Now? I am the
type of person that I love writing in my Gratitude
journal first thing in the morning, before I start the
hustle and bustle of my day. Some people like to
write at the end of the day. Well, even though
I write in the morning to get everything going, there
(24:39):
are some days that I like to write in the
evening as well, especially if something awesome has happened. If
I have a praise report, especially you know, something good
happened and I want to make note. I have to
do that at night before going to bed. I absolutely must.
So for some folks are not sure how to get started,
(25:02):
and one way that they do that is with journal prompts. Now,
if you're journaling, don't worry about the grammar, you're spelling,
any of that. I mean, unless you're planning on sharing
it with the world. The point is to simply just
write it down to get the thought out of your
head and onto paper. You are going to be the
(25:25):
only person that will be reviewing this if you ever
choose to look back at it again. So as long
as you can understand what's being said. That's all that's important.
So let's look at the first journal prompt for why
saying no is hard. The journal prompt is this what
(25:45):
am I saying yes too? Out of fear instead of alignment?
So what are you saying yes to? Because you're afraid
to say no? But saying yes is putting you out
of alignment? Okay, Journal prompt number two, what is one
(26:07):
boundary that I need to establish this week? Remember we're
setting boundaries with grace, So what is one boundary you
need to establish this week? Number three? What does RESTful
living look like for you? Not just occasionally but rhythmically.
(26:34):
What does RESTful living look like for me? That is
a part of prioritizing your self care without shame. If
this episode has helped you in any way to take
a breath, to take a beat during the day, you know,
(26:56):
just a moment to guard your time, or to say
no with boldness yet with grace, share it forward. Share
this episode with someone that you know that needs to
be reminded that it's okay to say no with grace.
You are not alone in this journey. Thank you everyone
(27:23):
for spending some time with me here on Daily Sparker,
Doctor Angela. I hope that I have once again enlightened, inspired,
and empowered you as always made. The Lord continue to
shine his face upon you. May you receive his grace
and his mercy in all that you do. Until next time,
everyone remember that you you are blessed in the Lord.
(27:46):
Have a great day everyone. Bye bye,
Hello everyone, and thank you so much for joining me
for Daily Spark with Doctor Angela. I'm your host, Doctor Angela.
But Jester, you guys know who I am, and you
know what I like to do on my shows. Say
it with me. I want to enlighten, inspire, and empower
you to become your best self. No scripture reminds us
that the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches,
(00:30):
but a tiny spark can set a great forest on
a fire. And that's what we want to do today.
We want to get you fired up about the topic.
Today we'll be talking about the art of saying no,
protecting your peace without guilt. So go get comfy, get cozy,
(00:52):
get your coffee, or get your tea because we are
about to get started. Hello everyone, and thank you so
much for joining me for Daily Spark with Doctor Angela.
I am really excited about this topic, not because I
am teaching you how to say no, but because I
am reminding you that you have permission to take care
(01:15):
of yourself and on the occasion say no. Now. Setting
boundaries is prioritizing your wellbeing, your mental health, your self care,
but it is also helping you to avoid burnout. So
(01:36):
welcome back to Daily Spark with Doctor Angela. Here, you
know what we try to do. We want to create
peace and faith and have a fierce opportunity to settle
in and talk about those things that really matter to
kingdom builders. And today we're having a much needed, sole,
(01:57):
honest conversation no protecting your peace without guilt. So let
me ask you something. When was the last time you
said yes but you knew in your heart that it
should have been a no. Yeah exactly, I've been there too,
(02:23):
and far too often. It is what we do because
we want to be seen as being nice or kind.
We want to always be a team player, we want
to get along or perhaps you're a people pleaser. It
doesn't matter which checkbox you take off more times than not.
(02:46):
We're saying yes because we want others to think positively
about us. Think of it this way instead, Every yes
costs you something. Make sure it's worth the price. We
(03:06):
are taught to be everything to everyone. But the truth
is burnout. Burnout is real, and it doesn't make you
more useful. In fact, it makes you disappear. And you,
my friend, are too valuable to vanish. Do to burn out,
(03:33):
So you may be asking why is saying no so hard?
That is a good question. So let's start with the guilt,
that creeping voice that says they're going to be disappointed
in you, They're going to be disappointed in me. I
(03:55):
don't want them to be disappointed in me. You know
that whole conversation, or perhaps yours is what if they
stop asking me? What if they think I'm no longer
ask worthy? H I don't want that to happen. I
want to be on the list next year or next time.
(04:16):
You know that conversation, or perhaps yours may be more like, well,
I don't want to seem selfish. Okay, fine, I'll do it.
You know that conversation. It doesn't matter which voice you
hear in your head, which conversation you have. But so
(04:41):
many people are having those types of conversations with themselves
because they don't want to say no, and the guilt
is what makes them say yes. But hear me, saying
no doesn't make you selfish, it makes you wise. You
can't pour from an empty cup, and you were never
(05:05):
meant to pour from an empty cup? So what can
we do? Or here's what we forgot? And I want
to help you Remember, no is a complete sentence, two letters,
one period. No makes space for better yeses. No is
(05:35):
part of stewardship of time, of energy, and peace. I
know you were never taught to think of it in
that matter, were you? Because by and large, we were
all taught that unless we're saying yes to the request,
(05:56):
that we weren't being good kingdom builders, that we weren't
being good friends, good siblings, good coworkers, or even good
family members. But instead we have to be mindful of
what we are able to give in that moment. Let's
look at Proverbs four, verse twenty three. Above all else,
(06:21):
guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Guarding your peace is not optional, it's mandatory. Guarding your
peace is not optional, it's mandatory. So why would you
(06:46):
make something so simple mandatory? Shouldn't people already know? Nope,
they don't. Why because again, the learned behavior, the thing
that we were taught to do, was to default to
the yes. It could be your last dollar, it could
(07:07):
be your last pair of shoes, it could be your
last tank of gas. It could be your last sheet
of paper, your last pair of ear rings, your last
fill in the blank. And you were taught to give it.
While that is charitable, and let's not get the too confused.
(07:29):
It is always good to give as you can to charity.
Let's make sure we make that clear. But when it
comes to your time, talent, treasure, and your ability to do,
we have to be mindful. So what am I asking
(07:52):
you to do? I want for you to start setting
boundaries with grace. Setting boundaries with grace is what you
do when you not only love the other person, to
love yourself as well. Boundaries are love in action, if
(08:15):
you will to others and for your own mental well being.
You're not pushing people away, absolutely not. Instead, you're showing
them that this is where connection is, this is where
it thrives. But if I give you this, this is
(08:36):
depleted and that isn't what you want. So in saying no,
not this time, you are telling them I always want
to give you my best, and today my best is
not up to standard. Today my best needs to take
(09:00):
somewhat of a step back or rest. So how can
we make sure that we are setting these boundaries with grace?
That's such a good question. Let me give you three
ways that you can do that. Number one, start small,
(09:24):
that's right, Start small, so many times we think that
everything we do has to be so large, so grand.
Absolutely not. It is okay to start with a baby step.
So start small. Say no to the non essentials. So
(09:45):
I know behaviors are hard to change, and usually one
reason why they're hard to change is because you don't
have anything to replace it with. That goes for anything
that we believe to be true. If you believe that
(10:06):
the color blue is in fact purple because you were
taught that for whatever reason. But for this example, the
color blue, the actual scientific color blue, you were taught
it was purple. So if I could show you the
science that says it is in fact blue, that would
(10:31):
help you replace your misinformation. The same is true for
the things that we learn in and about our world.
We are given so much miss information that it can
be very difficult to weed through and find the actual truth.
(10:53):
So what do you do? You start small the same
way that we are starting small with grace, with setting
our boundaries, say no to the non essentials. Number two
is communicate clearly. No long explanations are needed. There's no
(11:18):
reason for you to follow up. No, I'm so sorry,
I can't. I have to take my dog to the groomers,
and then I told my mom I would stop by,
and I think my husband has something for me to do,
and then my BFF wants me to go with her. Nope,
you don't have to do all of that. Don't have
to do all of that, ladies, We do not have
(11:41):
to explain all of the reasons why we are saying no.
Let's take a queue from our male counterparts on that
they kind of don't have a problem and say no, hey,
but can you help me this weekend? Nope? Sorry, I can't.
Maybe next time, right, shit, sweet, and to the point. Now.
(12:02):
Of course, I know there are going to be some
folks that explain sure, but let's take the cue from
the majority. We do not have to explain our reason
for saying no. It just simply is a no. Now,
if it makes you feel better about saying the no,
(12:26):
then by all means, do what is going to help
you feel better. But eventually you will transition to the
point where you are able to say no, I'm sorry
I can't and just keep going. Number three is hold
the line lovingly but firmly. You know what I mean.
(12:50):
There's that one person who feels as though no one
can say no to me, or their attitude may be well,
you ask them, but I didn't. I can get them
to say yes. There are going to be those personality
types in our lives. And some of you may even
(13:12):
be laughing because you are that person. Raye, Oh, I
can get anybody to crumple under the power of my voice.
And that may very well be true ninety nine percent
of the time, but you will occasionally run into that
one percent that says the power of my no is unmatched.
(13:35):
So hold the line lovingly but firmly, because we are
setting our boundaries with grace. Perhaps this is for the
person who isn't used to saying no. This might be
where you feel that you need to give an explanation. No,
(13:57):
I'm so sorry, I can't today. I have promise to
fill in the plank. Well, you know you could always
stop by after you get done there. Oh well, hm,
that really wasn't on my Yeah, it'd be okay. You
can go in and sway by, right, and it's right
there that you go. Sure, I can do that. You
(14:21):
don't want to, but you don't want to be mean.
You don't want to be seen again in the wrong light.
But if you're truly tired. If you truly cannot and
you need some me time, and this is the only
time in the week that you are able to recharge
your batteries, hold the line lovingly, but firmly. Let me
(14:48):
give you this as an example. I'd love to help,
but I'm at capacity right now. Please keep me in
mind next time. Let me say it again. I'd love
to help, but I'm at capacity right now. Please keep
(15:08):
me in mind next time. Now, you don't have to
say it with attitude. You don't have to say it
with your hand on your hip or any of that.
You just have to say it. Oh, I'm so sorry.
I wish I could help, but I'm at capacity right now.
Please keep me in mind next time. Okay, thanks. Oh
(15:33):
I'd love to help, but I'm at capacity right now.
Please keep me in mind next time. See, it doesn't
matter how you say it. The important part is that
you do is that you're respectful of the other person,
because that's what you're really concerned about, right, is that
you don't want them to feel anything other than positive.
(15:56):
So say it with that intention. But say or perhaps
this one is a little better for you. I'm prioritized
for the next couple of weeks, so I won't be
able to join you. Hmmm, that's an interesting way of
saying it. I know it's different. It's still a no,
(16:20):
but you're saying it in a different way. I'm prioritized
for the rest of the week, so I won't be
able to join you. That simply means there are other
things that have taken priority over this particular day, that time,
this event, whatever it is, and you have to attend
(16:41):
to those things. Now, you can use these lines for
your personal agendas or even for your work, but the
idea is to get used to being able to lovingly,
kindly set boundaries. Boundaries aren't wall their doors with door
(17:02):
knobs that you control. Well, everyone, it's time for us
to take a very short break, but don't worry. We'll
be back right after this.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Hi everyone, Doctor Angela here. Did you know that daily
spark is now on Facebook? That's right, you can visit
with me at facebook dot com forward slash Daily's spark
with Doctorandela. I want to know more about what you're thinking.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
I'd love to know which interview did you find the
most entertaining or the most informative. I want to talk
to you and I want you to be able to
talk to me, simply visit Facebook dot com, forward slash
Daily Spark with Doctorandela.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And we are back. Thank you so much for joining
me for Daily Sparker Doctor Angela. I'm your host, Doctor Angela.
By's Jester. Today we are talking about the art of
saying no, protecting your peace without guilt. So what are
some other things that you can do or how should
you look at this protecting your peace and saying no.
(18:34):
I want you to think of it as prioritizing self
care without shame. You've probably heard the phrase self care
isn't selfish, But let's take it just a little bit
deeper than that. Self care is stewardship. Jesus even took
(18:57):
time to withdraw and rest if he needed it. How
much more do we see? Your peace is part of
your calling. Your rest is part of your readiness. Your
no is part of your yes to God. Matthew eleven
(19:21):
twenty eight says it like this, Come to me all
who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Rest.
Rest is holy, guilt free peace is your portion. You know,
(19:41):
we have to remember that even in the Book of Genesis,
we understand God did all of these awesome and amazing things,
and then on the seventh day he rested. But yet
we as human beings, think that we must be little
(20:05):
bunnies just go go go, go, go, go, go go go,
and that just isn't the case. So what does RESTful
living look like. That's totally completely up to you. In fact,
it's something that you should consider and think about. Rest
(20:27):
sometimes looks like just not going to work that day,
like not physically going to your workplace. Perhaps it's just
working from home or resting. Could be that you've decided
that you're going to take a half a day of work.
Maybe resting for you means that you're going to go
(20:50):
out into the country instead of staying in the city.
You're going to go to the beach or to the mountains.
There's nothing like spending time at the lake house, right
just being away from whatever distracts you, from whatever keeps
(21:11):
you in such a tight ball you want to step
away from that. Maybe it's not being on your laptop
or on your phone. And I know there are so
many of us that are tied to our phones because
of what we do. I understand that, but making sure
(21:31):
that you put your phone on, Do not disturb for
perhaps just one solid straight hour, so that you can
have time to just be, to drink your coffee or
your tea, to spend some time with the kids or
the nieces and nephews, or to take a great bath,
(21:56):
whatever it is, just some time to yourself. That's what
RESTful living could look like. But only you know the
best answer for you. So remember this. Even though you
are living a faith fulfilled life, you're not obligated to
(22:18):
do everything. You are not called to carry every burden.
You do not have to apologize for choosing peace. So
repeat after me. I am allowed to rest. I am
(22:44):
allowed to rest. I am worthy of peace. I am
worthy of peace. I can say no and still be kind.
(23:04):
I can say no and still be kind. I choose
boundaries that honor God and protect me. I choose boundaries
that honor God and protect me. Remember, my dear Sparker,
(23:33):
you don't owe everyone access. You owe your self alignment.
You will keep in perfect peace. We know that you can.
Why because scripture tells us so. Isaiah chapter twenty six,
verse three says it like this, you will keep in
(23:57):
perfect peace. Those who's my are steadfast because they trust
in you, So take a moment today to pause to think,
to protect your peace on purpose. So what are some
(24:18):
ways that you can do this? Now? I am the
type of person that I love writing in my Gratitude
journal first thing in the morning, before I start the
hustle and bustle of my day. Some people like to
write at the end of the day. Well, even though
I write in the morning to get everything going, there
(24:39):
are some days that I like to write in the
evening as well, especially if something awesome has happened. If
I have a praise report, especially you know, something good
happened and I want to make note. I have to
do that at night before going to bed. I absolutely must.
So for some folks are not sure how to get started,
(25:02):
and one way that they do that is with journal prompts. Now,
if you're journaling, don't worry about the grammar, you're spelling,
any of that. I mean, unless you're planning on sharing
it with the world. The point is to simply just
write it down to get the thought out of your
head and onto paper. You are going to be the
(25:25):
only person that will be reviewing this if you ever
choose to look back at it again. So as long
as you can understand what's being said. That's all that's important.
So let's look at the first journal prompt for why
saying no is hard. The journal prompt is this what
(25:45):
am I saying yes too? Out of fear instead of alignment?
So what are you saying yes to? Because you're afraid
to say no? But saying yes is putting you out
of alignment? Okay, Journal prompt number two, what is one
(26:07):
boundary that I need to establish this week? Remember we're
setting boundaries with grace, So what is one boundary you
need to establish this week? Number three? What does RESTful
living look like for you? Not just occasionally but rhythmically.
(26:34):
What does RESTful living look like for me? That is
a part of prioritizing your self care without shame. If
this episode has helped you in any way to take
a breath, to take a beat during the day, you know,
(26:56):
just a moment to guard your time, or to say
no with boldness yet with grace, share it forward. Share
this episode with someone that you know that needs to
be reminded that it's okay to say no with grace.
You are not alone in this journey. Thank you everyone
(27:23):
for spending some time with me here on Daily Sparker,
Doctor Angela. I hope that I have once again enlightened, inspired,
and empowered you as always made. The Lord continue to
shine his face upon you. May you receive his grace
and his mercy in all that you do. Until next time,
everyone remember that you you are blessed in the Lord.
(27:46):
Have a great day everyone. Bye bye,
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.