September 29, 2020 • 20 mins
On today's episode we'll discuss reminiscence therapy approaches and how keeping your passions alive will help you Thrive while living with dementia.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to Dementia Real Talk by Karen Thrive, a podcast
to help you navigate life with dementia, presented by Blair Pharmacy.
Whether you're living with dementia or a care partner for
someone with dementia, join us to learn more about what
to expect and practical approaches to adapt your world to thrive. Now,
welcome our host Jerry Young and certified dementia practitioner and
(00:30):
trainer Judy Pritchard.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
This is Dementia Real Talk by Karen Thrive. Hello everyone,
and welcome in. This podcast is sponsored by Blair Pharmacy.
Go to Blairdashpharmacy dot com.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Hello, Jerry, Hey, you're back. We are back. It's good
to see you again. Well, I know that this music
is familiar to probably everybody listening, hopefully, and it automatically
stirs up feelings. And that's a little bit about what
we're going to talk today about is passions, pastimes and
(01:17):
how it relates to your feelings and the feelings those
feelings don't change. That's a human thing, not a dementia thing.
It's not going to change those feelings. So I want
you to listen to a few things.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Okay, Okay, I'm ready, all right.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Hold type one second. Let's hear that one more time. So, Jerry,
that sound is a that's a baseball, that's baseball. You
can't miss out on that one.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I've heard that several times because usually when I hit
my home runs, that's how they sound, and the crowd
usually is that loud.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I have no doubt. So when you hear that, what
kind of does it stir up any emotions memories for you?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Absolutely? And you had to pick probably my most favorite sport,
which is baseball, because I understand it. I think that's why.
But yeah, man, all kinds.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Of feelings such as what such.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
As being a kid and falling over the wall at
a Baron's game to get a foul ball, and playing
baseball throughout high school and coaching little league baseball in
an adult capacity, being an adult and to this day
still going to Atlanta often to go to Brace games.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Awesome? And does it stir up any kind of any
kind of favorite food ideas or visions for you?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
You mean, like a hot dog.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Hot dog, Mine's a hot dog and a big old
soft pretzel.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I tell you you cannot go to a ball game,
I mean even at the Little league games. The hot
dog stastes better right, exactly out of the old broke
down concession stand. You know. It's just like, man, give
me one of those out of that boiling water pipe
back there. There's still good. That's right. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
That's twenty eight dollars.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Right. Oh yeah, well that's whatsout twenty eight? You been lately,
have you?
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Okay? I want you to listen to one more?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Okay, Oh you're doing this on purpose.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
That one maybe a little bit harder if you're not
familiar with this sport.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Well, that's my that's my second favorite. One's only one
I still play. That's golf.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
That's right. That's the ping of a golf club hitting
the golf ball.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
My problem is the guys I play with, and I
hope they'll listen to this, the guys I play with.
Immediately following that, that sound is me yelling.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
For see when I do it, it'd be more like
KerPlunk because every time. So, what kind of feelings does
golf bring up?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Oh? Wow, feelings of today especially but in the past,
of taking golf lessons and learning which club you hit
for what yardage, and how your grip is and you know,
just wandering through the golf store picking out on you
golf glove and you know that sort of thing. So yeah,
it's just all kinds of memories.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
And when you're out on that golf course for hours
a day, going through eighteen holes, and even if you
have to walk it in the heat, that's always amazing
to me.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
This never happened.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
But you just feel free, don't you. Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Absolutely, And your mind can't do anything but think about GoF.
That's the think. That's the thing about GoF is when
you're addressing the ball to hit that shot, your mind
has to be on that swing. If it's on something else,
you're going for plunk.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, that would be me. So that's what I want
to talk about today. Is one of the biggest concerns
I have from family members is that their loved one
just isn't doing anything or showing interest in anything any longer.
And there's a scientifically proven reason for that is that
their dementia takes away the person's ability to initiate things,
(04:47):
even things that were their favorite pastimes. They just don't
have the executive skills or the planning skills and the
scheduling skills to pull everything together, even if it's something
they've always done, and initiate ate that and start that
activity by themselves, so they really get sunk in into
being isolated. Now, I know you helped care for your mom.
(05:08):
Did you happen to see any of those? What were
some of her favorite pastimes?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, let me just tell you. In show prep for this,
when we talked about this subject, this is going to
be very very close to a lot of people, and
one of the things that all of a sudden, I'm
passionate about this, but this was one of the things
I didn't do well. Okay, and so when we were
talking about what we're going to talk about today, folks,
if you're listening, pay attention, because if I could go
back and change something, which would be many things when
(05:31):
I was taking care of my mom, this would be
one of them. And you mentioned that like basketball. We
talked about a sports, you know, to start the show.
But she was the best player on their high school
basketball team, you know, and played basketball, and so you know,
what you're going to bring up and how to bring
those memories up in her was something no training that
(05:53):
I had. Of course, most care partners don't have training
and that's why we do these podcasts.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
But so, yes, she was, you know, very active socially,
and those things obviously had to go away, Like she
couldn't be the president of the garden club with dementia,
we know that, But you know what, she could still
dribble a basketball. Yes, So you know, looking back now
picking things from her life that I could have prompted
(06:22):
her to remember, I'm sorry I didn't have this training.
So pay attention, folks, this is important.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
You're a spot on and it's so hard to realize
because these changes typically happened gradually. So gradually what you'll
see is in the very beginning, you may start to
bring up if it's something you've always done together, let's
say basketball or gardening or painting bird houses like we
recently did on a recent family holiday, and the first
(06:49):
signs that you'll see is that they'll push away from it,
so they may even get a little aggressive in their
denying of wanting to do it. So, for instance, with
my situation, we had a family gathering and it had
gotten to where a lot of our family gatherings were
really just sitting together looking at each other, conversations limited.
(07:09):
There's not a lot going on, and so I thought,
let's put some of these practices in place, and so
I brought out bird houses. They love looking at birds,
watching birds, feeding birds. And so my loved one was adamant, No,
she was not going to partake. Why would I do this?
I mean, it was a struggle. And so my other
(07:32):
loved one that was with us was all about it.
He had the best time and so but then gradually
what we did is change the activity for the people
that were involved so that we could try and still
engage those that were denying wanting to do it, and
really foster the further activity with the other loved one
(07:53):
that was involved. So you'll see in the beginning that
denial I don't want to do it. A lot of
that is because they feel insecure about doing it, so
it just doesn't interest them at the moment. Even though
we had everything out and we were initiating and even
doing demonstrations. That's a big approach to use as a demonstration.
(08:13):
Even if it's something that they've always been familiar with,
they may have forgotten how to start something. So by
doing a demonstration you can sometimes get them engaged.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
And so let me ask you right there, when you
were saying that it's important to go ahead and get
it out, yes, and put it in front of them.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And that's you know, something that we may not think
about as care partners, Like with my mom, I should
have got a basketball out, even in the living room.
I should have sat it there because it would you know,
we all have the tendency to say, hey, mom, do
you remember when you used to play basketball? Which is
the wrong thing. Just bring the basketball out and sit
(08:50):
it there and don't ask the question, let her light
up and remember what she remembers.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, or just start engaging with her with it. So
get a basket all out. You both have a basketball
and you just start, you know, either cleaning it off
with a rag or just something that gives the tactile
stimulation and the smell. Basketballs, to me always have that
certain rubbery leather type smell. Even the smell and the
bumpiness of the outside of it, that all gives a
(09:18):
sensory inputs that channel in and bring out memories for her.
So you're right now, it's challenging because you don't want
a ton of stuff around. So it's better if you
have it available that you can get it and bring
it into the room or bring it into her and
always ask, hey, let's let's look at this basketball.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
So it's it's not just about seeing it, but like
you just explain which I've never heard of basketball, Explain
like that, Okay, this smell in the But you know
when you're in that, in that frame of mind, that
all of a sudden, whatever it takes to prop the
memory is what you're saying. Whether it be whatever sense
(09:57):
it prompts correct or the site, smell, sound, whatever, all.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Of it triggers memories. Every type of sensory input will
trigger a memory or a feeling, and there even though
they may not be able to say, oh, basketball, my
favorite team was the Lakers, and do you remember Kobe
Bryant when he was on the Lakers, he was right, yeah,
no more hard questions, Okay, let's see it. They're all
(10:23):
any type of any type of activity or pictures or
put an old basketball game on TV and just stimulate
the conversation and the feelings. They may not be able
to recall the specific information or the terminology, but the
feelings will still come back. And those feelings a lot
of times what you see is as they're withdrawing. What
(10:46):
are the types of things do we typically see isolation?
They're depressed. They may even get aggressive because they're not
getting cognitively stimulated, so they get fidgety. We all do
that if we're bored and stuck in a place that
we can't really really to, we get fidgety. And so
by bringing back something that triggers positive emotions, it helps
(11:07):
alleviate all those things. And it's been proven to even
help with things like reducing falls, reducing sleeplessness, helping them
get more quality better sleep, and even in stimulating lots
of conversation. And so this is a really big key
approach to use. No matter what their favorite pastimes were,
(11:29):
it has to be relatable to them though.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Okay, so folks out there listening to this podcast, I'm
going to tell you, if I had to do it
over again, what I would do. I would actually sit down,
be in a quiet place, and write down what my
mom used to like to do, okay, and figure those
things that I could go do with a prop okay,
to prompt her to have memory. Okay, so obviously I
(11:53):
mentioned the garden club. She was like the president of
the garden club in her little town. Okay, well, she
can't be the president of the garden club every morning anymore,
but she can be a basketball player. So if you
make the list and figure out what you can go do,
whether you go to the you know, a big box
sports store or wherever you know, and get something like that,
(12:14):
whether it's sports or whether it's cooking or whatever the
activity is that was imported in her life, to put
something out there as a visual aid or as a
noise making aid or whatever to promote her memory. Is
that correct? So that's what I would do. That's what
I would do.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
And even with a garden club, if she was adamant
and really involved in gardening and that was a big passion,
Get some flower pots, have her paint them. That could
be stimulating for her that she's holding and managing the
flower pots. Get some dirt, have her, you know, put
a plant in soil, and then you could build in
routines around every day you make a list of okay,
you have to water it once a day and then
(12:54):
she can check mark the water off. It's building in
a sense of purpose, a sense of responsibility, and a
sense of unfulfillment. And that again is not a dementia thing,
that's a human thing.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Could you go back in your life and remember, like
I remember my mother, And this is most people can't
say this about their mother. My mother made me learn
how to do a left handed layup. Wow, all right,
most mothers don't take their son out there. Okay, but
but somebody had told her. You know, if you're going
to play on high school level, you can't go from
the left hand side of the backboard and shoot it
(13:28):
right handed on a layup, so you have to know
how to make a left handed lay up. Of course
I'm right handed. So I remember us being in the
driveway and her going over Snoji, you're gonna learn how
to do it. You're gonna learn how to do it.
And she actually taught me how to or I don't
want to stay taught, but she did. But she forced
me to learn to teach myself how to make a
living hand. So taking that situation, if you took my
(13:50):
mom out on the on the driveway where the basketball
goal lives right and and said something like I'm gonna
make left handed layups for you, it could actually stimulate
that memory and cause her to remember that and take
her to a very happy place.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Right, even if she couldn't tell you the steps of
how to do a left handed layup or couldn't do it,
you could talk through it and just by you providing
the words, that all helps formulate memories for her. And
we'll bring things out and then if you tie it
in with pictures that you may have or videos that
you may have, that you can pull all of those
back out. And again she may not be able to say, oh,
(14:30):
that was the summer of seventy six. She may, but
she still sees, oh that's Jerry, that's whoever you bring.
You know, label everything on the back. And that's a
really good point you brought up about sitting down and
writing out all of their favorite pastimes. That is key
to dementia care in the entire process. So if there's
(14:52):
anyone listening that is recently diagnosed, take the time to
journal for yourself and for your care partners, your passions
are and what they were earlier in your years, in
your twenties and thirties and forties.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Anybody's listening to me knows that my favorite statement of
all is to be prepared and to act and not react. Okay,
so when I'm in that situation a sitting on the couch,
there's no conversation. My mother's in a bad frame of mind.
She's upset. You know, that's not the time when you
can remember that your mother taught you how to shoot
(15:26):
a left handed lay up and say, oh, put those
together and now let's run down and buy a basketball,
to say if that helps. The time to do it
is to act, not react, and to understand that if
you have dementia and you're taking care of someone, the
sooner you can put these things down on paper, the
more you will be able to help them. When that
time comes and you're sitting on the couch for nothing
(15:47):
to do, you can glance at it, or you can say, hey,
let's go get a tennis ball. I know we're singling
out basketball, but the thing is, it doesn't matter whether
it was a left handed lay up, or whether it
was a how to hit a backcand on the tennis court,
or it does even have to be sports. We're just
using that growing tomatoes, growing tomatoes. That's right. Because you
started out with take me out to the ball park,
which I'm really disappointed I didn't get to sing.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
You know, maybe we can do that leading out I
can sing that song. But remember the couple things that
always keep in mind. One, you always want to give
them the choice do they want to do it? Know
how to read your loved one that you're helping care for.
And if it's more of the automatic response is a no,
then get it out and start playing with it or
(16:31):
fidgeting with it or dribbling the basketball.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
You know, I'm glad you said that because you talked
about the feel and the smell of a basketball, but
also the sound sounds. That's right. And I want to
tell you what if you live real close to your
next door neighbor who plays basketball bounces till eleven o'clock
at night, trust when you know the sound of a
basketball bouncing and that could actually spark the memory as well.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yep. And even if they're in the later stages and
maybe can't there, they may have be a fall risk
if you took them out in the driveway and try
to draw, dribble basketball, get a mini hoop, put it
on a closet tour and the soft foam balls and
have her throw have him throw at the ball. There's
all kinds of things that you can do. Now you
have to gauge the appropriateness and safety features of it.
(17:13):
But make sure and don't give up. If you try
it once, like at this recent family event and they
didn't she there wasn't an automatic jumping up and down
excitement to paint the birdhouse. Try it again. It's just
that it'll be more familiar the next time that we
bring it up. So don't give up. If there's an
automatic no, an easy response is going to be an
(17:34):
automatic no because of that insecurity feeling. But then the
more you bring it up and show your joy in it,
the more they'll want to partake in it, and it'll
drive up. It'll bring up so many happy memories. So
we're going to do a series of five to Thrive
videos where we do product reviews and approaches and we're
going to show actual items that you can pull together
(17:56):
and ways to use them to help do just this.
And you can do. You know. Another big thing is
a lot of times grandchildren don't know how to interact
with grandma or grandpa because of the dementia. They really
don't know how to have meaningful interactions. By pulling these
items out and having these types of activities prepared leading
(18:16):
them through it gives them quality time with their grandparent again,
and it also in the earlier stages if it does
start stimulating memories, or she is still able to do
a left handed layup and she can instruct their grandchild
how to do that. That is hugely beneficial not only
for your loved one that has dementia, but for that
(18:37):
interaction with the grandchildren and for you to watch it
and witness it. What great memories you're having rather than
just sitting on a couch together.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
So to summarize, folks looking for advice on how to
stimulate right now, take your time, sit down in a
quiet place and remember what your loved one like to do,
and then what you can do to stimulate that with
it be a basketball or whether it be a gardening,
or whether it be burbed house building, whatever it is,
(19:07):
now's the time to do it.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Absolutely do it now, make it relatable to what their
passions were, and just enjoy, enjoy the moment and don't
give up.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Okay. This is Dementia Real Talk presented by Karen Thrive
and our sponsor, of course is Blair Pharmacy. That's blairdash
Pharmacy dot com. Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Everyone, Thanks everyone. Thrive on.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Thanks for listening, and be sure to follow us on
Facebook at karen Thrive and visit our website www dot
karenthrive dot org. Subscribe to this podcast to your favorite
podcasting platform. This podcast is produced by your podcastnow dot com.
Let us produce a podcast for you.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
The purpose of this podcast is to educate, into and form.
It is not a substitute for profess rational care by
a doctor or other qualified medical professionals.
Welcome to Dementia Real Talk by Karen Thrive, a podcast
to help you navigate life with dementia, presented by Blair Pharmacy.
Whether you're living with dementia or a care partner for
someone with dementia, join us to learn more about what
to expect and practical approaches to adapt your world to thrive. Now,
welcome our host Jerry Young and certified dementia practitioner and
(00:30):
trainer Judy Pritchard.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
This is Dementia Real Talk by Karen Thrive. Hello everyone,
and welcome in. This podcast is sponsored by Blair Pharmacy.
Go to Blairdashpharmacy dot com.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Hello, Jerry, Hey, you're back. We are back. It's good
to see you again. Well, I know that this music
is familiar to probably everybody listening, hopefully, and it automatically
stirs up feelings. And that's a little bit about what
we're going to talk today about is passions, pastimes and
(01:17):
how it relates to your feelings and the feelings those
feelings don't change. That's a human thing, not a dementia thing.
It's not going to change those feelings. So I want
you to listen to a few things.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Okay, Okay, I'm ready, all right.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Hold type one second. Let's hear that one more time. So, Jerry,
that sound is a that's a baseball, that's baseball. You
can't miss out on that one.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I've heard that several times because usually when I hit
my home runs, that's how they sound, and the crowd
usually is that loud.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
I have no doubt. So when you hear that, what
kind of does it stir up any emotions memories for you?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Absolutely? And you had to pick probably my most favorite sport,
which is baseball, because I understand it. I think that's why.
But yeah, man, all kinds.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Of feelings such as what such.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
As being a kid and falling over the wall at
a Baron's game to get a foul ball, and playing
baseball throughout high school and coaching little league baseball in
an adult capacity, being an adult and to this day
still going to Atlanta often to go to Brace games.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Awesome? And does it stir up any kind of any
kind of favorite food ideas or visions for you?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
You mean, like a hot dog.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Hot dog, Mine's a hot dog and a big old
soft pretzel.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I tell you you cannot go to a ball game,
I mean even at the Little league games. The hot
dog stastes better right, exactly out of the old broke
down concession stand. You know. It's just like, man, give
me one of those out of that boiling water pipe
back there. There's still good. That's right. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
That's twenty eight dollars.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Right. Oh yeah, well that's whatsout twenty eight? You been lately,
have you?
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Okay? I want you to listen to one more?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Okay, Oh you're doing this on purpose.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
That one maybe a little bit harder if you're not
familiar with this sport.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Well, that's my that's my second favorite. One's only one
I still play. That's golf.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
That's right. That's the ping of a golf club hitting
the golf ball.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
My problem is the guys I play with, and I
hope they'll listen to this, the guys I play with.
Immediately following that, that sound is me yelling.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
For see when I do it, it'd be more like
KerPlunk because every time. So, what kind of feelings does
golf bring up?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Oh? Wow, feelings of today especially but in the past,
of taking golf lessons and learning which club you hit
for what yardage, and how your grip is and you know,
just wandering through the golf store picking out on you
golf glove and you know that sort of thing. So yeah,
it's just all kinds of memories.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
And when you're out on that golf course for hours
a day, going through eighteen holes, and even if you
have to walk it in the heat, that's always amazing
to me.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
This never happened.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
But you just feel free, don't you. Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Absolutely, And your mind can't do anything but think about GoF.
That's the think. That's the thing about GoF is when
you're addressing the ball to hit that shot, your mind
has to be on that swing. If it's on something else,
you're going for plunk.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, that would be me. So that's what I want
to talk about today. Is one of the biggest concerns
I have from family members is that their loved one
just isn't doing anything or showing interest in anything any longer.
And there's a scientifically proven reason for that is that
their dementia takes away the person's ability to initiate things,
(04:47):
even things that were their favorite pastimes. They just don't
have the executive skills or the planning skills and the
scheduling skills to pull everything together, even if it's something
they've always done, and initiate ate that and start that
activity by themselves, so they really get sunk in into
being isolated. Now, I know you helped care for your mom.
(05:08):
Did you happen to see any of those? What were
some of her favorite pastimes?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, let me just tell you. In show prep for this,
when we talked about this subject, this is going to
be very very close to a lot of people, and
one of the things that all of a sudden, I'm
passionate about this, but this was one of the things
I didn't do well. Okay, and so when we were
talking about what we're going to talk about today, folks,
if you're listening, pay attention, because if I could go
back and change something, which would be many things when
(05:31):
I was taking care of my mom, this would be
one of them. And you mentioned that like basketball. We
talked about a sports, you know, to start the show.
But she was the best player on their high school
basketball team, you know, and played basketball, and so you know,
what you're going to bring up and how to bring
those memories up in her was something no training that
(05:53):
I had. Of course, most care partners don't have training
and that's why we do these podcasts.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
But so, yes, she was, you know, very active socially,
and those things obviously had to go away, Like she
couldn't be the president of the garden club with dementia,
we know that, But you know what, she could still
dribble a basketball. Yes, So you know, looking back now
picking things from her life that I could have prompted
(06:22):
her to remember, I'm sorry I didn't have this training.
So pay attention, folks, this is important.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
You're a spot on and it's so hard to realize
because these changes typically happened gradually. So gradually what you'll
see is in the very beginning, you may start to
bring up if it's something you've always done together, let's
say basketball or gardening or painting bird houses like we
recently did on a recent family holiday, and the first
(06:49):
signs that you'll see is that they'll push away from it,
so they may even get a little aggressive in their
denying of wanting to do it. So, for instance, with
my situation, we had a family gathering and it had
gotten to where a lot of our family gatherings were
really just sitting together looking at each other, conversations limited.
(07:09):
There's not a lot going on, and so I thought,
let's put some of these practices in place, and so
I brought out bird houses. They love looking at birds,
watching birds, feeding birds. And so my loved one was adamant, No,
she was not going to partake. Why would I do this?
I mean, it was a struggle. And so my other
(07:32):
loved one that was with us was all about it.
He had the best time and so but then gradually
what we did is change the activity for the people
that were involved so that we could try and still
engage those that were denying wanting to do it, and
really foster the further activity with the other loved one
(07:53):
that was involved. So you'll see in the beginning that
denial I don't want to do it. A lot of
that is because they feel insecure about doing it, so
it just doesn't interest them at the moment. Even though
we had everything out and we were initiating and even
doing demonstrations. That's a big approach to use as a demonstration.
(08:13):
Even if it's something that they've always been familiar with,
they may have forgotten how to start something. So by
doing a demonstration you can sometimes get them engaged.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
And so let me ask you right there, when you
were saying that it's important to go ahead and get
it out, yes, and put it in front of them.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And that's you know, something that we may not think
about as care partners, Like with my mom, I should
have got a basketball out, even in the living room.
I should have sat it there because it would you know,
we all have the tendency to say, hey, mom, do
you remember when you used to play basketball? Which is
the wrong thing. Just bring the basketball out and sit
(08:50):
it there and don't ask the question, let her light
up and remember what she remembers.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, or just start engaging with her with it. So
get a basket all out. You both have a basketball
and you just start, you know, either cleaning it off
with a rag or just something that gives the tactile
stimulation and the smell. Basketballs, to me always have that
certain rubbery leather type smell. Even the smell and the
bumpiness of the outside of it, that all gives a
(09:18):
sensory inputs that channel in and bring out memories for her.
So you're right now, it's challenging because you don't want
a ton of stuff around. So it's better if you
have it available that you can get it and bring
it into the room or bring it into her and
always ask, hey, let's let's look at this basketball.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
So it's it's not just about seeing it, but like
you just explain which I've never heard of basketball, Explain
like that, Okay, this smell in the But you know
when you're in that, in that frame of mind, that
all of a sudden, whatever it takes to prop the
memory is what you're saying. Whether it be whatever sense
(09:57):
it prompts correct or the site, smell, sound, whatever, all.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Of it triggers memories. Every type of sensory input will
trigger a memory or a feeling, and there even though
they may not be able to say, oh, basketball, my
favorite team was the Lakers, and do you remember Kobe
Bryant when he was on the Lakers, he was right, yeah,
no more hard questions, Okay, let's see it. They're all
(10:23):
any type of any type of activity or pictures or
put an old basketball game on TV and just stimulate
the conversation and the feelings. They may not be able
to recall the specific information or the terminology, but the
feelings will still come back. And those feelings a lot
of times what you see is as they're withdrawing. What
(10:46):
are the types of things do we typically see isolation?
They're depressed. They may even get aggressive because they're not
getting cognitively stimulated, so they get fidgety. We all do
that if we're bored and stuck in a place that
we can't really really to, we get fidgety. And so
by bringing back something that triggers positive emotions, it helps
(11:07):
alleviate all those things. And it's been proven to even
help with things like reducing falls, reducing sleeplessness, helping them
get more quality better sleep, and even in stimulating lots
of conversation. And so this is a really big key
approach to use. No matter what their favorite pastimes were,
(11:29):
it has to be relatable to them though.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Okay, so folks out there listening to this podcast, I'm
going to tell you, if I had to do it
over again, what I would do. I would actually sit down,
be in a quiet place, and write down what my
mom used to like to do, okay, and figure those
things that I could go do with a prop okay,
to prompt her to have memory. Okay, so obviously I
(11:53):
mentioned the garden club. She was like the president of
the garden club in her little town. Okay, well, she
can't be the president of the garden club every morning anymore,
but she can be a basketball player. So if you
make the list and figure out what you can go do,
whether you go to the you know, a big box
sports store or wherever you know, and get something like that,
(12:14):
whether it's sports or whether it's cooking or whatever the
activity is that was imported in her life, to put
something out there as a visual aid or as a
noise making aid or whatever to promote her memory. Is
that correct? So that's what I would do. That's what
I would do.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
And even with a garden club, if she was adamant
and really involved in gardening and that was a big passion,
Get some flower pots, have her paint them. That could
be stimulating for her that she's holding and managing the
flower pots. Get some dirt, have her, you know, put
a plant in soil, and then you could build in
routines around every day you make a list of okay,
you have to water it once a day and then
(12:54):
she can check mark the water off. It's building in
a sense of purpose, a sense of responsibility, and a
sense of unfulfillment. And that again is not a dementia thing,
that's a human thing.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Could you go back in your life and remember, like
I remember my mother, And this is most people can't
say this about their mother. My mother made me learn
how to do a left handed layup. Wow, all right,
most mothers don't take their son out there. Okay, but
but somebody had told her. You know, if you're going
to play on high school level, you can't go from
the left hand side of the backboard and shoot it
(13:28):
right handed on a layup, so you have to know
how to make a left handed lay up. Of course
I'm right handed. So I remember us being in the
driveway and her going over Snoji, you're gonna learn how
to do it. You're gonna learn how to do it.
And she actually taught me how to or I don't
want to stay taught, but she did. But she forced
me to learn to teach myself how to make a
living hand. So taking that situation, if you took my
(13:50):
mom out on the on the driveway where the basketball
goal lives right and and said something like I'm gonna
make left handed layups for you, it could actually stimulate
that memory and cause her to remember that and take
her to a very happy place.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Right, even if she couldn't tell you the steps of
how to do a left handed layup or couldn't do it,
you could talk through it and just by you providing
the words, that all helps formulate memories for her. And
we'll bring things out and then if you tie it
in with pictures that you may have or videos that
you may have, that you can pull all of those
back out. And again she may not be able to say, oh,
(14:30):
that was the summer of seventy six. She may, but
she still sees, oh that's Jerry, that's whoever you bring.
You know, label everything on the back. And that's a
really good point you brought up about sitting down and
writing out all of their favorite pastimes. That is key
to dementia care in the entire process. So if there's
(14:52):
anyone listening that is recently diagnosed, take the time to
journal for yourself and for your care partners, your passions
are and what they were earlier in your years, in
your twenties and thirties and forties.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Anybody's listening to me knows that my favorite statement of
all is to be prepared and to act and not react. Okay,
so when I'm in that situation a sitting on the couch,
there's no conversation. My mother's in a bad frame of mind.
She's upset. You know, that's not the time when you
can remember that your mother taught you how to shoot
(15:26):
a left handed lay up and say, oh, put those
together and now let's run down and buy a basketball,
to say if that helps. The time to do it
is to act, not react, and to understand that if
you have dementia and you're taking care of someone, the
sooner you can put these things down on paper, the
more you will be able to help them. When that
time comes and you're sitting on the couch for nothing
(15:47):
to do, you can glance at it, or you can say, hey,
let's go get a tennis ball. I know we're singling
out basketball, but the thing is, it doesn't matter whether
it was a left handed lay up, or whether it
was a how to hit a backcand on the tennis court,
or it does even have to be sports. We're just
using that growing tomatoes, growing tomatoes. That's right. Because you
started out with take me out to the ball park,
which I'm really disappointed I didn't get to sing.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
You know, maybe we can do that leading out I
can sing that song. But remember the couple things that
always keep in mind. One, you always want to give
them the choice do they want to do it? Know
how to read your loved one that you're helping care for.
And if it's more of the automatic response is a no,
then get it out and start playing with it or
(16:31):
fidgeting with it or dribbling the basketball.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
You know, I'm glad you said that because you talked
about the feel and the smell of a basketball, but
also the sound sounds. That's right. And I want to
tell you what if you live real close to your
next door neighbor who plays basketball bounces till eleven o'clock
at night, trust when you know the sound of a
basketball bouncing and that could actually spark the memory as well.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yep. And even if they're in the later stages and
maybe can't there, they may have be a fall risk
if you took them out in the driveway and try
to draw, dribble basketball, get a mini hoop, put it
on a closet tour and the soft foam balls and
have her throw have him throw at the ball. There's
all kinds of things that you can do. Now you
have to gauge the appropriateness and safety features of it.
(17:13):
But make sure and don't give up. If you try
it once, like at this recent family event and they
didn't she there wasn't an automatic jumping up and down
excitement to paint the birdhouse. Try it again. It's just
that it'll be more familiar the next time that we
bring it up. So don't give up. If there's an
automatic no, an easy response is going to be an
(17:34):
automatic no because of that insecurity feeling. But then the
more you bring it up and show your joy in it,
the more they'll want to partake in it, and it'll
drive up. It'll bring up so many happy memories. So
we're going to do a series of five to Thrive
videos where we do product reviews and approaches and we're
going to show actual items that you can pull together
(17:56):
and ways to use them to help do just this.
And you can do. You know. Another big thing is
a lot of times grandchildren don't know how to interact
with grandma or grandpa because of the dementia. They really
don't know how to have meaningful interactions. By pulling these
items out and having these types of activities prepared leading
(18:16):
them through it gives them quality time with their grandparent again,
and it also in the earlier stages if it does
start stimulating memories, or she is still able to do
a left handed layup and she can instruct their grandchild
how to do that. That is hugely beneficial not only
for your loved one that has dementia, but for that
(18:37):
interaction with the grandchildren and for you to watch it
and witness it. What great memories you're having rather than
just sitting on a couch together.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
So to summarize, folks looking for advice on how to
stimulate right now, take your time, sit down in a
quiet place and remember what your loved one like to do,
and then what you can do to stimulate that with
it be a basketball or whether it be a gardening,
or whether it be burbed house building, whatever it is,
(19:07):
now's the time to do it.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Absolutely do it now, make it relatable to what their
passions were, and just enjoy, enjoy the moment and don't
give up.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Okay. This is Dementia Real Talk presented by Karen Thrive
and our sponsor, of course is Blair Pharmacy. That's blairdash
Pharmacy dot com. Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Everyone, Thanks everyone. Thrive on.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Thanks for listening, and be sure to follow us on
Facebook at karen Thrive and visit our website www dot
karenthrive dot org. Subscribe to this podcast to your favorite
podcasting platform. This podcast is produced by your podcastnow dot com.
Let us produce a podcast for you.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
The purpose of this podcast is to educate, into and form.
It is not a substitute for profess rational care by
a doctor or other qualified medical professionals.
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