Disasters In the Making 08-28-25 -- Paul and Brad follow the “Timeline”

As the dynamic Duo of high-ish quality Hollywood cheese completes Gerard Butler month, they are joined by a guest commentator, who is a surprise; however, is it possible the boys finally found a Butler film Brad doesn't like? Tune in to find out! 

Episode Transcript

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Speaker 6 (03:05):
And good evening to everybody in k l r N Land.
It is Thursday evening. This is your early introduction to
the weekend, which means this is disasters in the making.
I'm going to uh tell everybody to set their watches
so we could synchronize because we are going on a
time travel experience, but not going alone, joining me like

(03:28):
every two weeks on this time Spirited Adventures from screen
rent dot com. Paul Young, what's going on? Paul?

Speaker 7 (03:35):
What's going on? My friend? Uh you didn't You said
we're going on a time adventure, right? Would it be
a time heist? I don't want to go on a
time heist.

Speaker 6 (03:45):
No, we're not. We're not doing Time Bandit's just to
uhg down everybody down.

Speaker 7 (03:51):
I wish we were Time Band. It's a fantastic movie
and it should start. It should start, Torod Butler. We
can pretend like it does. We could just rename one
of the actors in it to and we could have
covered Time bandits I watched. That would have been last year.

Speaker 6 (04:04):
Would have been a dream, wouldn't it our favorite actor?
We are celebrating Gerard Butler month as it is, but
unfortunately he wasn't in that one, but he was in
this one, which is called Timeline and this is actually
a movie with some significance for you, some attraction in
your past, is it not.

Speaker 7 (04:25):
Heck yeah, the movie came out in two thousand and three.
Back in two thousand and three, I was still kind
of working and teaching at a school part time, where
i'd been for like seven years before I moved over
to CSX to start directing Chu Choos. And I had
met my best friend at Best Buy in the year
two thousand and then brought him over to help me

(04:46):
out in the IT department at the school, and he
eventually took over from there. Every Friday while he was
there from two thousand until two thousand and three when
I left. Eventually, we would go see whatever movie opened
that weekend. We usually saw it during the day. Why
we were supposed to be at where it was an
extended lunch, if you will, because the Deven Busters was

(05:08):
down the streets and the movie theater was like near it.
So we'd be gone for a couple hours and it
was an amazing time of life. We couldn't survive or
pull it off now, but we would go see a
movie every way. So one of the movies we saw
was this One Timeline and this movie. We ended up
having an inside joke from I tweeted out a quick

(05:29):
video clip of it, and we still have that inside joke.
It's a twenty two year old running inside joke. Everybody
has seen it, but only he and I understand it
for some reason. It's a stupid joke, but I still
remember it finally. In fact, we talked about it prior
to us chatting about picking this movie two weeks ago.

(05:49):
So joining us today for the second time since we
started this podcast in twenty nineteen is my buddy Thomas.
He said he's going to lead with three f bombs,
so I'm waiting on him. Go ahead and do that.
Your family and children are listening.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Well, you already took one of them a way from me.
That was family, but it's always with Paul Walker. So
I'm coming in loving the fact that we still have
this running joke that me and you have in our
back pocket. And this pockets also have a bunch of
mirrors and coils, and it's going to help me do

(06:25):
some time traveling today. That's all it takes.

Speaker 6 (06:31):
Yeah, Coils were supposedly the big technological flashpoint in this
which they never really explained. It was just mentioned incessantly
fix the coils. We got to get the coils. The
coils have to be operational for this to work. Okay,

(06:54):
crucial to time travel, and they never explain how So,
maybe things get really warm when you jump centuries and
you need to cool him down. I'm going with that.
But this is.

Speaker 7 (07:09):
Well, it's not your fault. You don't understand the technology.
You're You're just a humble online pleave. Everything's new to you. Tom, however,
works in it. I move trains. I'm just pushing chow
choos around on the board. Thomas actually works in it.
So if we'll take the next hour and a half
and listen to Thomas by himself explain to us how

(07:30):
the technology works, go ahead and take away talks.

Speaker 6 (07:33):
Well, good, thank god somebody is because the movie did not.

Speaker 7 (07:37):
No, you know, this movie is so bad that this
was Michael Crichton's last licensed film. He hated it so much.
He hated this movie so much he refused to sell
off his licenses movies ever again. This killed the Michael
Crichton era and it did not take over again until

(07:59):
he died and Steven Spielberg bought the rights to another
film like.

Speaker 6 (08:04):
Yeah, he went into this venture thinking it was going
to be a home run because so many of his
other films have been okay, maybe with the exception being
Congo with the Martini drinking baboon.

Speaker 7 (08:18):
But we've discussed we've discussed that one.

Speaker 6 (08:21):
By the way, Yes, Amy lives Deer in my heart.

Speaker 7 (08:25):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (08:26):
How many times are you going to see a gorilla
on a G six sipping a chopin Martini on film?
It just doesn't happen every day, So we have to
just appreciate that film for what it is. But Michael
Crichton had this degree of success, so he actually just
gave them the rights to this book. Didn't sell it.

(08:48):
He just said no, no, no, go ahead and make it.
I'll make all my money on the back end.

Speaker 7 (08:53):
I think he wrote part of the script too, He did,
he was he wrote part of the script, but it
was just so terrible when it came out in this
execution that he just was done. He may I hate myself.

Speaker 6 (09:10):
I think he did it early draft and then it
got passed through a couple of hands. A couple other
writers have had their names drop off because it's been
rewritten as well as recut. Numerous times. Richard Donner is
the director, and twice he turned into finished product and
Paramount was like, h yeah, Richard, you gotta go back

(09:33):
and redo this because if you can, please go to
the editing suite and deliver a watchable movie. So this
got delayed by a couple of years for this reason.

Speaker 7 (09:43):
It suffered. It suffered about I mean, that's that's what
kills me. It's just so funny when you how do
you promote this movie? You can be put on the
posters so bad it killed the Crichton line. I just
how is that your claim to fame?

Speaker 6 (09:58):
Uh timeline you can for two hours?

Speaker 7 (10:04):
He said.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
It was a couple of years got delayed, and it
makes you wonder what the original look like.

Speaker 6 (10:11):
Well, yeah, this, well the movie just got delayed.

Speaker 7 (10:17):
And that's a yeah. It's one hundred nineteen minutes long,
and that's about one hundred and seventeen minutes longer than
it needed to be.

Speaker 6 (10:24):
Yeah, they kept sending it back and it got so
bad that they also told the guy that scored the
movie that he has to go back and redo the
music with the recut movie, to the extent that he
ended up dying like two and a half years of
this going on, and then the guy contracts cancer and
he basically had to check out. So this as misbegotten

(10:48):
as this thing gets. Now, what's amazing about this is,
like I said, Richard Donner, notable director, Lethal Weapon and
a crap ton of other stuff, big budget. I mean,
this is this is not a chintzy movie. It's got
a pretty expansive cast known performers, and the script is

(11:09):
just absolutely dog crap.

Speaker 7 (11:11):
And to Donner's credit, he limited the use of CG
in this thing. Not that I think CG was was
as big twenty two years ago as it is now,
though I guess I guess technically it was. I mean,
Jurassic Park was right there, just you know, nineteen ninety two,
so I guess there was some CG around it. Everything
that everything that's done now has a high amount of CG.

(11:34):
This movie needed CG the I don't say that often,
but this movie needed CG to at least enhance it
because the battles the.

Speaker 6 (11:42):
Time, you really only see computer usage when on wide shots,
and you know, you see like background vistas and things
of that nature, which used to be just done with
Matt paintings and such. But that's about it. Everything else
this pretty much practical effects, which really delivers a renfair

(12:04):
field to the whole affair.

Speaker 7 (12:07):
Well, here's the thing, Okay, so if you were going
to compare the battle scenes in this movie to anything, right,
there'd be two separate serias. You've got medieval times, so
you can go to like Robin Hood, right, you can
go to the Robin Hood series. When did yeah, Robin Hood? Right?
So nineteen ninety one, Prince of these Robin, Let's go

(12:27):
to that. Let's just do that one because it's the
earliest The medieval fight scenes where there's any kind of
battles between anybody are interesting. Even though there's literally no
CG in this film. These look like this was done
with a bunch of LARPers put together who had never
held a shield. Now, Lord of the Rings came out

(12:49):
in two thousand and one, just two years prior to this,
and there are a lot of battle scenes that are
not CG enhanced, where these guys are fighting each other
with shields and swords and maces and all that kind
of stuff, you know, all the fantasy weapons, and it
looks amazing. So, whoever was the principal photographer on this thing,
and the battle director had zero idea what they were

(13:10):
doing because it's it's it's bad. Nobody like. People are
just kind of standing around swinging randomly at things, and
there's riding on horses and hitting each other with swords.
It just well, Tom and I had better LARPing sessions
at his house.

Speaker 6 (13:24):
Yeah, you you mentioned LARPing going on, And in fact,
they relied on Larper's for a lot of these scenes
when they were shooting in Quebec, and relied on people
that do Middle age re enactment scenes and in fact,
in some of the battle scenes, this is all supposed
to take place in France, and oops, a couple of

(13:44):
the guys showed up with their shields that have the
Quebec flag on them. You know who's gonna notice that
kind of thing besides us. A lot of that happened. Well,
here's what we're dealing with. Basically, like any thrilling movie,
it starts off with archaeology classes, not Indiana Jones type stuff,

(14:09):
when they're on digs and pulling up dinosaurs or golden
blooms or something. Now we got a model set. We're
just gonna tell a bunch of stories. Two students. So,
and these are actual archaeologists who are teaching archaeology students
wartime romantic backstory of the dig they're on at some medieval.

Speaker 7 (14:35):
Castle Castle Guard, which.

Speaker 6 (14:39):
I guess is clever name. Huh.

Speaker 7 (14:42):
I guess it's all. All of it is fake, though
the area they filmed in was real.

Speaker 6 (14:49):
Yeah, and this is supposed to take place during the
One Hundred Years' War in medieval times. So our cast
of characters involves Paul Walker, Gerard Butler, of course Billy Connolly,
the famous Scottish actor comedian who's ever need of subtitles.

Speaker 7 (15:08):
I will never forget Connolly from his first TV show
from where the first time I ever saw him, Like,
that's what I remember him from? Do you remember him?
Tom was on Ahead of the Class, Head of the
Class baby, Oh wow, that's before my time.

Speaker 6 (15:27):
Well, he replaced Howard Hessman.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Thanks thanks for making the producer Phil Old because yeah,
he replaced Hessman.

Speaker 7 (15:35):
Yeah, I liked I liked Hessman, but Billy Connolly changed
the whole outcome of that show the way it felt.
Did they remake this show? By the way, because I
went to go google the year the Head of the
Class came out and Head of the Class season one
only season sitcom twenty twenty one came out and it's
female led. It is terrible. It is on two B

(15:58):
and I'll have to watch it more done.

Speaker 6 (16:01):
Well, there you go. I think you just explained everything.

Speaker 7 (16:03):
What the heck am I looking at.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Rick?

Speaker 7 (16:06):
I know you're listening. Just go google Head of the
Class twenty twenty one and then throw your TV out
the window so you don't get a chance to watch it.
Holy cow, what's going on here?

Speaker 1 (16:16):
Oh so it's okay for you to watch it, but
I'm supposed to throw my TV out the window.

Speaker 7 (16:19):
He'll be honest with you. I came here to make
fun of Timeline, and I didn't realize that I was
going to be offended by a Head of the Class
remake I didn't know existed until just now.

Speaker 6 (16:29):
Well, it's kind of the magic of our show as
we come up with ways to offend people unintentionally, not
always the host. But this is a banner moment, how
about that? So we run into one problem pretty much
right out of the gate from the book adaptation, because
Billy Connolly is supposed to be the head archaeologist of

(16:54):
this dig and such. However, in the book, it begins
with him sent back in time, and apparently the Paramount
executives are like, wait a second, that's confusing, fix it,
And so he shows up. In the first part of
the movie. We see him and he's interacting with everybody's
beloved and everybody's into it, and then he just disappears,

(17:20):
just like, do you see my dad? And my dad's gone?
Where's the teacher? Professor? Have we seen him?

Speaker 7 (17:24):
No?

Speaker 6 (17:26):
So we have to we have to just go with that.
But in this introductory scene we also meet Andre Marak,
who is Gerard Butler allowed to just spill forth with
his Scottish brogue in all its glory.

Speaker 7 (17:41):
They had zero reason to make him not have it.
I guess they're filming French, right or they're in France.

Speaker 6 (17:47):
Well, we're going to Europe anyway, so you might as
well to spell it with the Austin go for him,
so he does. It fits, whatever the hell it works.
I believe this is this the second one. This came
after Phantom of the Opera h one.

Speaker 7 (18:04):
It might have, Yeah, it might have. It's the second
time we've talked in two weeks about his accent, and
they allowed it to go. They allowed him to carry it.

Speaker 6 (18:12):
Because this, I mean it does it feels like this
is kind of his breakout role, except nobody saw the movie,
but Paul Walker is featured all over this thing, like
front and center on the poster and all that. He
doesn't do much of anything in this movie.

Speaker 7 (18:27):
Uh disagreed. He tells everybody, let's go. It's he's the hero.
Let's go multiple times, let's go.

Speaker 6 (18:35):
Come on. Yeah, I mean, he's always in the movie,
but it's just like every like every single scene he
pops in, it's like, oh, that's right, he's in this
because he doesn't do anything of consequence except look for
his dad.

Speaker 7 (18:52):
Wasn't the wasn't the first Fast and the Furious film
didn't that come out in two thousand, so this would
have been like his his sophomore role.

Speaker 6 (19:01):
Well he's yeah, branching out from the franchise where they
were trying to make him a star here, I guess,
And I mean, he doesn't do a bad job, but
he just doesn't do anything. There's like I was in
the final act and I had to remember that he
was actually in love with the other girl in the movie.
Because they don't even I mean they they're together a lot,
but it's not like there's any character development, relationship anything

(19:26):
of the sort. It's just kind of like, oh, you
two were going out right, Okay, Okay, that's why you're here.

Speaker 7 (19:32):
Oh wow. He was in a bunch of stuff prior
to this. I thought he was just in a couple
of things. His first, I think his breakout movie was
Meet the or his first film was Meet the Diddles Deedles.
Meet the Deedles Diddle is a completely different.

Speaker 6 (19:46):
Thing, really, so we're gonna call that a breakout role.

Speaker 7 (19:51):
And then he went to Pleasantville Varsity Blues. She's all
that the Skulls. So he was in a few things
forra I E forgot to I'll go with Varsity Blues.
The breakout Deedles was probably his introduction.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Well, I mean to be fair, he was probably in
Meet the Diddles too, but you got to go behind
the curtain in the video start to get to that one.

Speaker 7 (20:08):
Hey no no. That was nineteen ninety six. He was
in twenty three episodes of a TV show called Throb.
I wish I could make that up.

Speaker 6 (20:17):
Wow. So basically, Meet the Diddles was how he got
the role, and Meet the Deedles is what you're.

Speaker 7 (20:25):
Saying, or could or it could have been his Kellogg's
Corn Pop serial commercial which is on his IMDb page.
For whatever reason, like I like Walker, Rest in Peace man,
he was always personable as far as like easy to consume, right,
you know visually, No.

Speaker 6 (20:43):
He doesn't do it. No, it's just literally his character
does nothing throughout this movie outside of you know, hey, dad,
I got the brush here, so we can start digging
some more. And where's my dad. I'm here with my
girlfriend looking for my dad. Let's go, you know.

Speaker 7 (20:58):
And most of his if you look back, most of
his characters were portrayed that way. He was there. He's
good looking, he's young, he gets off this weird surfer
vibe without actually being a surfer, not so much as
strong as like Reeves Kanda Reeves, but like it's there,
right he maybe like a young skateboard surfer kind of deal.

(21:21):
That's the vibe he gave off all the time, and
he brought that to every role he did. And he
was just kind of too relaxed and never really pushed
himself as an actor to go outside that persona.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
No, I mean he yeah, he gave that was basically
his Yeah, on screen. Look, his charisma was that, but
he actually knew how to perform. It wasn't like in
front of a camera and we're like, dude, what's upright? Cool? No,
he he could do it. He can bring something to

(21:53):
the table.

Speaker 7 (21:53):
So now, I don't know if you guys noticed this
during the film, Tom, did you notice that everybody in
this film had zero direction on how to act intimidated, scared,
and out of breath. They're all breathing heavy. Did you
notice that, like all of them just kind of breathe
heavy all the time, and they're opening like an open

(22:15):
mouthed gate to them.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Especially anytime they went in that tunnel, whether it was
before the time travel or after the time travel, it
just was like, man, we just used up all our
energy getting up here.

Speaker 7 (22:29):
Yeah, you could have this movie could have been titled
heavy Breathing and it would have fit just as well
in as timeline.

Speaker 6 (22:35):
Yeah, this seemed like hit your mark chasings go over there,
turn around and look at the camera.

Speaker 7 (22:43):
Cut, which is which is kind of an element that
you see in B rated movies like The Asylum kind
of stuff where they tell everybody, all right, big monster
over here, just react and then the actors just stand
over there and they just like kind of move their
hands and they're moving their head back and forth and
their eyes and they're like, I can't believes what am
I saying. That's the kind of acting that I'm seeing
in this movie from people that are way better than

(23:05):
that kind of acting.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
I don't want to I want to go back to
the top of you guys are talking about. When you
guys are talking about the the accent with Gerard Butler,
I would love to talk to you guys about the
fact that everybody had accents throughout the movie, different ones,
especially when they were like, Oh, that guy's the French accent.
He's the bad guy. Get him. But then he was
like Paul Walker just talking as Paul Walker does, and like,

(23:32):
don't that's not a big deal. Next guy, But you're
Scott skid him.

Speaker 7 (23:37):
You're English? Yeah, you're English. I don't think Paul Walker
did not have an English accent. It just because it
just because you speak English doesn't make you English.

Speaker 6 (23:47):
Yeah. I think it was more of a California West Coast.
There was one scene I think where somebody said, Wow,
you've got a curious way of talking, and it was
about it, everybody else. I mean, we even had an
Irish girl in there. There was French spoken, Scottish English.
I mean, it's across the board. And ironically enough, this

(24:08):
was in a time period where none of those languages existed.

Speaker 7 (24:12):
No, those accents weren't a thing like.

Speaker 6 (24:16):
I mean even in the book to acknowledge that there
was like a one central language for Western Europe that
overwrote everybody, and then French and English and everything else
broke out centuries later. So the movie was like, yeah,
we can't do that, so go with it. Well, dad,
whatever the hell.

Speaker 7 (24:33):
Well, Paul Walker was born in Glendale, California, so he
definitely had a California accent. And Michael Sheen does a
good job in this film. Right, he might be the
only passable actor in this in this movie, but he
is clearly just doing his own thing, and Donner didn't
give him any direction as to what he wanted to do.
It's just kind of like, however, so for him to

(24:54):
say that he recognizes a Californian accent when the English
had completely different accents back then. They're they're different than
what they have now.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
M h.

Speaker 7 (25:05):
Actually, you know, I'm pull of course, I'm pulling back
on my ancient linguist degree that I picked up from
college when I was there, so I know what I'm
talking about. You can trust me. Yeah, interesting, you're.

Speaker 6 (25:18):
Speaking in tongues.

Speaker 7 (25:20):
That's right.

Speaker 6 (25:24):
Well this is yeah, that's just part of the mess
that we're dealing with. And again we're dealing with big budget,
big cast and stupid plot. So here's how things get
set up. They're at a dig where this Castlevania or
castle whatever the hell it was called, is.

Speaker 7 (25:42):
At Castle Guard and they it just shows you how
much I paid attention to this crab is.

Speaker 6 (25:48):
After a while, it's like, really, are we doing this again?
So Gerard Butler brings them over and shows them a
sarcophagus with two figures that are carved in stone on there,
and he's like, notes that are holding our hunts. This
one doesn't have an ear and there's you know, somebody
else is well, clearly it got chipped off, Like no, no, no,
you can tell.

Speaker 7 (26:10):
There's no shadowing. There's so much foreshadowing in this movie
that they set up like.

Speaker 6 (26:14):
Oh yeah, it is shattering. Pretty much everything in the
first act is going to have some significance. So it's
like this is it, and the he died together with
lady Claire and yeah, yeah, okay. And then while they're there,
they this made no sense to me. They said there
was news of a cave in a an alarm goes off,

(26:37):
and I thought people got trapped in a cave or something.
But basically they said that some hole opened up.

Speaker 7 (26:44):
Is that?

Speaker 3 (26:44):
What?

Speaker 6 (26:44):
Did I see that?

Speaker 7 (26:45):
Right?

Speaker 3 (26:47):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yes, oh my gosh, I'm glad you're talking about this.
I had just written down as like my number one thing.
It was a perfect size for them to go down.
They already had the bellying equipment, all this different stuff
right to go, like nothing had passed. Like, hey, by
the way, a whole mage that they opened up, we're
gonna call a cave in alarmment off, like he said, wild.

Speaker 6 (27:04):
I'm like waiting for a dire situation. And basically they
go down to the hole and discover stuff that's kind
of the opposite there, yeah, or.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
The professors down there. That's where the professor went, right,
he got trapped in the cave in now whisked away
in a helicopter.

Speaker 7 (27:19):
Apparently, no, no, none of this even none of the
tie ins even work because when they go down there,
and they find the glasses and they find the oil
thing that's the that's inside the monastery. But we never
see him in the monastery. He never goes into that
monastery where the tunnel is. Ever.

Speaker 6 (27:36):
Well, this is where you start to see how much
they were straining to justify was They go down there
and they discover this new fresco or something on a
wall that was partially destroyed. They find a new papyrus
scroll tucked away, and then they find eyeglasses. And somebody

(27:58):
even says, it's like, did they have lenses like this
back then? No, they did, No, they didn't.

Speaker 7 (28:05):
This could be a it could be a joke. This
could it could literally be a joke. Let's just I'm
gonna because you know archaeologists have this equipment on site,
I'm gonna go ahead and do an opta optic translution
micro fibercloth uh test on this thing right here in
the field. I keep that equipment with me that from
Ethan Hanbury or whatever his name is that does that.
He's like, yeah, I've run the spectral analysis twice on

(28:26):
this thing. Where you care to special analysis and Castle
Guard France, bro, you ain't got one of them sit
on the field with you.

Speaker 6 (28:33):
Yeah, here he and somehow they found this scroll. But
they could do the carbon dating on the ink of
it within a matter of hours.

Speaker 7 (28:41):
Yeah carbonated. I carbonated it immediately.

Speaker 6 (28:44):
Yeah, I just I googled it.

Speaker 7 (28:47):
Whatever. But they make sure they set up well, they
made sure they set this whole thing up. This whole
scene is set up with where Gerard drops down with
Kate and he goes, we're the first. I can't do
his accents. This is what I'm is best you're gonna get.
We're the first people to be down in this tunnel
in six hundred years. And then that's what sets up

(29:08):
that whole seed where they like find the stuff. We're
the first people to be here in six hundred years.
That's it, That's that was the setup.

Speaker 6 (29:14):
Well, that's the thing is they make this historical discovery
and then they find eye glasses at the same time.
It's like, wait a second, you should ask a few
more questions here, but they don't because they're genius archaeologists.

Speaker 7 (29:32):
It bothered me going back to Tom's point, where they had
the all the like repelling equipment already set up there,
like immediately set up and they're trying to lower them
down into this chasm. And they said, all right on
ballet for Kate. And the camera turns around and there's like,
I don't know, fifteen people pull per side holding on

(29:55):
how much does she weigh? How much does this woman weigh?

Speaker 6 (29:59):
Look, first off, he's got to be bunny.

Speaker 7 (30:01):
But I can lower her down using the rope around
my waist. Let's you know what I mean. Like and
both of them, you have all that equipment, but you
don't have a bullaying eight figure eight to go throw
it around your side and slowly lower them down by yourself.

Speaker 6 (30:18):
But each of them had this crowd of people holding
their line to bring them down.

Speaker 7 (30:25):
How do you don't have a pulley on this? But
it just did. You just like throw it like a
towel over the hangar bar and just like slowly pulling
with no leverage at all.

Speaker 6 (30:34):
Stop mocking them, Paul, it was an emergency. You didn't
hear the alarm go off.

Speaker 7 (30:38):
Hey, Look, just because they weren't French, because they were
in France, I'm gonna mock them. The French deserve to
be we're scrambling.

Speaker 6 (30:45):
So yeah, they get back to the lab, I suppose,
and this is when Stern comes up with the realization
that he found something on the old centuries old scroll
and makes the determinate. Now, at this point, they didn't
really establish that the professor was gone. It was just

(31:06):
like somebody was looking for him. It's like if you've
seen a professor, he didn't turn up, and it was
kind of curious.

Speaker 7 (31:14):
Well, what I don't understand is why why did he
go to that area right there? Are they being funded
by ITC?

Speaker 6 (31:26):
Again, not real clear. I mean we basically just assumed,
but we don't see the ITC people there. Just after
a while. Okay, you got to come to the lab
with us, Now cool, Who the hell are these guys
go with it?

Speaker 7 (31:43):
Well, it's okay, So I.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
Think at one point in time, Paul, they do say like, hey,
you know, we've been funding your endeavors or whatever, your
gigs or whatever, because they're like, hey, why this is
why you've been funding us this whole time? So but
why what? Yeah, well, great question, Well the room makes
any sense.

Speaker 6 (32:06):
The only introduction we even get to ITC is in
the very start of the movie, where some figure shows
up in the middle of the desert, collapses. Guy finds him.
He's at the hospital. Neil McDonough then shows up later
and basically steals all his medical charts.

Speaker 7 (32:21):
By the way, the way that dude died has zero
to do with anything else in the film. It's referenced
one more time, and it has zero impact on any
character or person in the story. Right, We like it
could have been It could have been used a lot
better of.

Speaker 6 (32:37):
It kind of touched on it only because they kept
i mean throughout the movie when they described time travel,
it's just like a fax machine.

Speaker 7 (32:46):
Right, and he's coming back through the system. All his
veins and every bones and everything were like off, just
like a millimeter or two millimeters or some nonsense. Everything
looked like staggered.

Speaker 6 (32:58):
Yeah, it was like he it's never in his hands,
and blood vessels were all off on a forty five
degrees slide slightly. I've never seen this before. What could
it mean? Well, Neil mcgonne's here to take all your
evidence and run away with it.

Speaker 7 (33:14):
But then it's never used again, like there's no threat
of that happening because they brush that off. I going, yeah, well,
he's made ten trips, so that's not going to happen
to them on one trip. Well, then why even do it?
Why show it? If it's not going to be a
character of the story, Why include it as a plot device?

Speaker 6 (33:33):
I think that might have been a plot point that
got lost in the multiple editing front.

Speaker 7 (33:39):
That's that's probably true.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Michael Sheen tried to like refer back to it, right,
and that why he said he couldn't go back. Because
he went back one more time, he'd probably die.

Speaker 7 (33:48):
Decker the guy who played Decker.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
Yeah, well, yeah, maybe you're read of them. It was
whoever the main bad guy was on the English side,
whoever was playing that. I think he's the one that said.

Speaker 7 (33:58):
That, right, Holy crap. Okay, so we all know that
his name is Decker, right, I mean that's Is that
not his name? Is that not what they called him
all movie long? Was Decker?

Speaker 6 (34:08):
Or to carer?

Speaker 7 (34:09):
Is it? To care? Because I'm looking at it now
and I say, sir, William decare d e capitol d
E space.

Speaker 6 (34:15):
Well that was that was his medieval name.

Speaker 7 (34:19):
That was his medieval name.

Speaker 6 (34:20):
Once he got stuck there, that that became Well, I
guess you can't say Decker back then, So it's decare.

Speaker 7 (34:28):
Us? What was yours? What would your medieval name be?

Speaker 6 (34:30):
Bratt pro I don't know. Butcher butcher. Yeah, that's what
my last name translates to in Dutch. Oh you're Dutch
butcher hair.

Speaker 7 (34:44):
If you're Dutch, that explains a whole lot about you.

Speaker 6 (34:48):
Hey, there's no mystery over here.

Speaker 7 (34:50):
I'm straight English. My people. When I say that, I
mean Southern redneck. All my people come from that part.
Thomas may be Tomas, Yeah, exactly, that's exactly. That's what
Sophia calls you.

Speaker 6 (35:05):
Well, I think back then they cross shell be thumb us.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
You'd have like a river named a Well, it depends
on which the accent, depends on which accent these characters
are using at the time.

Speaker 6 (35:19):
That's the way we pronounced it in Los Angeles, so
you know, in medieval times, that's what we'll say. So
the Yeah, I'm still kind of stuck on the scene
where they come up with apparently the professor, and I
don't know if they ever showed this, but in the
scrolls that they discover he signed something, and then their

(35:40):
analyst just stern said, look, it's the Professor's signature. Shut up, no, no,
no one you would look through an entire scroll and
say that's my future. That decided at the bottom of dack.
But this led him to do the carbon dating on
the ink. And it's so this is the professor, but

(36:02):
it's six hundred years old.

Speaker 7 (36:04):
Well, and that's the kind of the issue here, right.
They introduce these two things that are supposed to kick
off the story. This is the catalyst for the film. Right.
The whole story hinges around this moment and this scene,
and it is not very strong. It's not referenced later
in this show, and they do not explain how it happens.

(36:25):
Those are his eyeglasses and that is his handwriting. But
they tell us later in the film that that is
a tunnel under the monastery. And we never see the
Professor in the tunnel in the monastery. I don't recall
ever seeing him writing anything on a piece of manuscript
and tucking it away under a table or in a box.

(36:46):
And during the scene where they're trying to they're tunneling
through trying to come up into the castle guard, the
French are trying to come into castle guard to put
an old the old one to two on them. You
see his glasses come off the table and land on
the ground where they find them in this scene, right,

(37:06):
you're telling me in six hundred years and with all
those French soldiers stomping through there that nobody cracked and
stomping those glasses laying on the ground, they just they
stayed there in their exact spot for six third years.
How do they even get there? I've got a whole
nother story and mystery to explain. You've given me one,
and now you've given me a second one, and no
answers to it.

Speaker 6 (37:29):
And so we're supposed to believe that his glasses accidentally
fell off and he intentionally signed a scroll for them
to discover, all within a couple of feet of each
other in this chasm that they're exploring. I'm already lost.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
I think I've broken a few pair of glasses just
having them in a case, let alone, as somebody knock
him down to the bottom of a monastery, and then
surviving that long.

Speaker 6 (37:59):
Ye fiery battle, and six hundred years later, the lenses intact.

Speaker 7 (38:04):
Now Dennis Quaid and Jim Caviezel did this particular, uh,
this good particular trope a lot better in frequency. Do
you remember that movie. It's a great underrated sci fi thriller.
I like it a lot where he's leaving things for
the killer, like his his future self is leaving things
for his past self defined or no, the other way around,

(38:25):
his past self is finding So his dad is leaving
things for his son to find to fight off the villain.
And so he'll put things in the in a box,
you know, in the window seat, and then later he'll
reach it there and find it. It's all dusty. Well,
that's what I think they were trying to do in here,
but they just never like follow through with it. They
could have come out, show us that. Yeah, show the

(38:46):
show the thing going. I'm trying to look for my friends,
and he'll leave. He leaves, leaving them a clue. I
know they're digging in here right now, and I know
they're going to find this soon. And he drops it
off and that they find it. He's like, wait a minute,
how does the I thought he said there was just
they didn't under stay with what they were writing here.
That's why Timetound was so freaky to write.

Speaker 6 (39:03):
With bro Well, this is the impetus of the plot basically,
and it's like, well, the professor is six hundred years
in the past, what the heck? And everybody just kind
of scratches their head instead of looking at Stern and saying, okay,
put down the mango cooler, go take a few days off.

(39:24):
The professor didn't send us a note from six hundred
years in the past today. We just talked to him yesterday.
Take a break there, Stern, you're a little overextended. But
now everybody's like, oh, curious. And then the ITC people
show up. You got to come with us, and so
what was it called the International Technical Corporation.

Speaker 7 (39:48):
Something like that. There's science, Yeah, basically, that's it.

Speaker 6 (39:55):
That's your acronym i TC. We're big company. That's US, okay,
And they're kind of walking them through it. They're kind
of hinting at what's going on. And you know, we've
developed this thing where you can send stuff away. And
we tried using objects and it was a fax machine

(40:16):
but for things instead of paper, and we could send
physical objects. And people are wait, wait, wait, what are
you talking about. That almost sounds like teleportation. Well it's
more than that. It's time travel, okay, except they can
only time travel to this same location at the same

(40:39):
point in history.

Speaker 7 (40:42):
But never but never the same spot. Do you notice
that it's a stable wormhole? That never goes to the
same spot twice when they should. Like, He's like, we
put a camera in and tilted it up, and it
was in the woods, and we didn't know where it
was at, and then we saw horse come through, and
then we probably how did the camera come back? How

(41:02):
did they bring the camera back? Everybody else has to
push their finger into a some sort of necklace marker.
How did how did the camera come back?

Speaker 6 (41:13):
Well, this right here is what I'm leaning on in
the entire movie, because this is my problem with a
lot of time traveled movies. And I'm going to reference
Time Cop here because I absolutely love that piece of garbage.

Speaker 7 (41:26):
We've talked about that one too.

Speaker 6 (41:29):
They always give us tremendous amount of tech involved with
time travel. So like with Time Cop, sprawling facility, massive laboratory,
dozens of people operating it. You got to get in
a high tech sled, you go shooting down a track.
Of course, this facility costs about a billion dollars, but

(41:51):
they couldn't extend the track another few hundred yards because
if you mess up, you hit all the cement wall
and die. But eh, whatever, it's time travel. So they
got all this stuff in order to send you back
in time. When you're in history, though, all that disappears,
and yet you get back Like a time cop. He

(42:14):
has a little thing on his hip, presses a button. Boom,
He's back here. What happened to your sled? What happened
to your dozens of technicians? Nah, just hit a button.
So when this one they climb into a chamber made
of glass in mirrors, high tech staging. It's got a
big generator in the middle of them. Lights and wind

(42:34):
go off, massive power plant to power this thing. They
go back to the Middle Ages and to get back home.
You rub a necklace.

Speaker 7 (42:47):
Is it just got like one twenty thirty two battery
in it? Powering it up?

Speaker 3 (42:52):
Like?

Speaker 2 (42:52):
How's it?

Speaker 7 (42:54):
Don't forget? Don't forget.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
You can put your thumbnail in it to see how
long you have line.

Speaker 7 (42:58):
They never show us what are looking at like, they
didn't like look at the side of it and it
says like fifteen hours, and it.

Speaker 6 (43:04):
Said, well, it's like the few times we see it.
It's like an amulet with the cross. So you could
press one of the four sections and it'll do something different.
So if you press the top and turn it around,
it'll tell you how much time is left. Press it
on the bottom right, and then get you back home.
Wait a second, So it takes a billion dollars to
send you to the Middle Ages, but you can come

(43:26):
back home with an amulet you got at the swap shop.

Speaker 7 (43:30):
And you got to have forty feet of space around you.
How do they figure that out? How they figure out
how much space you need to have around you? Remember,
this is a stable wormhole. This is not something that
they have. They haven't gone like to, hey, let's transport Well,
I guess they did, didn't they They transported something over
to New York from like.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
La No that they tried to and it never show
that's right, and never.

Speaker 6 (43:53):
Yet they said they would send it it come back
and they had no idea where it went.

Speaker 7 (44:00):
Well, did this thing like like create a space the
size of Thor's rainbow bridge when he's like showing up
on property.

Speaker 6 (44:09):
It's almost like when they send you back in time,
it's like a funnel. You go through the top of
it and then when it spreads out and you can
land anywhere. Might be in a field, could be.

Speaker 7 (44:18):
In a river. We don't know. I mean, quantum leap
does a better job of explaining time travel and how
people move from from person to person. In fact, I
think that if they had just said, your bodies will
be in an or be an animated stasis, right, You're
being a stasis, and you will end up traveling back

(44:38):
into some other person, and you've got to go get
that person and bring your your I don't know, your
personality back, that would make a little bit more sense
as to what they've done here, where they're physically transporting
your entire person one spot in history and then bringing
it all the way back again. They were so stuck

(44:59):
on this wormhole explanation that I don't think they really
thought through most of it, thinking that the average viewer
is just gonna be like, well, yeah, I buy it.

Speaker 6 (45:10):
Yeah. It kind of strikes me that they were kind
of stuck. We really want them to go back in
time to the exact archaeological dig that they're on, So
how do we justify that we can't control it, but
it just arbitrarily sends you there.

Speaker 7 (45:30):
I guess the assumption is that ICC was backing this
project because they knew that these guys they wanted to
go dig in Castle Guard because this is where it
was taking the wormhole was taking them. It was a
thirteen fifty seven castle guard, So I guess that's what
they were. That's why they backed the project. But they
never say that, Like, it's a two and two you're
supposed to put together as a viewer, But I'm not

(45:52):
putting enough thought process into it to make that happen.

Speaker 6 (45:56):
Well, then that's the thing. They didn't care enough in
the script and they're expecting me to and I'm sitting
here running questions about it. It's like, Okay, you're going
back to one specific spot just conveniently happens to be
your archaeological dig but six hundred years ago. But you
just got through telling me you can't control it, like
when you send an object to New York. They tried

(46:19):
to and failed, And yet this wormhole is perfectly aligned
with the place that they're already working. How's that for convenience?

Speaker 7 (46:30):
But they said they had already made it work by
sending things across the room. So was the wormhole not
present until they tried to go across? It's a wormhole.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
It's when they went to that bigger version of it.
That's when they did that, because they where they had
the prototype.

Speaker 7 (46:46):
Oh it was time.

Speaker 6 (46:48):
Yeah, yeah, they were beating. Yeah, this is when they
were doing the fax machine with cameras and stuff. So
you're telling me you have no idea where this crap
is going. But then when you actually send humans, it
goes to the exact spot that you want them to
be in. Perfect how that works out? Your beta testing

(47:10):
was worthwhile, I guess.

Speaker 7 (47:12):
And they've got all this stuff set up, Like when
they start getting them dressed, they're like, oh no, leave
all modern stuff behind and pick anything off the rack
you want to wear. They got all their peasant gear. Look,
let me tell you something. If I'm going back in
time and I'm taking historians with me, and I've got
six hundred years of history to study from, I'm not

(47:33):
dressing as a peasant. I ain't cleaning up poop, i
ain't living in poop. I am not gonna be hurl
have cabbage hurled at my head. I'm going as a lord.
I'm dressing as royalty. You're gonna find me wandering the
woods of England dressed as royalty. That's what you're gonna do.
Send and send me back with a horse and a carriage.
Why can't you put any of that stuff in there.

(47:54):
You can send a camera, you can send people, send
me a horse and carriage, send everybody through there, and
I will own this place.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
That was a very long winded, save long winded way
of saying, off the rack, how rude.

Speaker 7 (48:07):
That's true too.

Speaker 6 (48:10):
Yeah, and all the clothes and the shoes fit them perfectly.
How convenient.

Speaker 7 (48:14):
But wouldn't you why would you want choose to go
back as the lowest form of life in a fiefdom.

Speaker 6 (48:22):
Well, what you don't understand, Paul, is unlike you who
wants to go on a lark and maybe own a castle.
They were on a mission. They were going there for reason, Paul.

Speaker 7 (48:37):
Yeah, and I bet you that reason would come. You
would get more accomplished as royalty than you would as
coop people.

Speaker 6 (48:46):
Yeah, but the craphole peasants were the ones that had
the professor. So that's what we got to do here.
And this is the other again, another plot leap they
had to make here. The ITC people were going going
back to recover the professor. Yet they never felt the
need to inform his kid or students or anybody else

(49:08):
until just now, Like might have been a good idea
to inform them what the professor was up to when
you were sending him initially.

Speaker 7 (49:19):
But I don't even understand what the professor was up to.
They never explained that he did. They just said he
decided to go back with them. For what purpose did
he go back to? Like rescue the car? Was that
his purpose?

Speaker 6 (49:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (49:33):
Here in there for a while.

Speaker 6 (49:34):
Yeah, the car had like he'd been one of those
that made a bunch of jumps and he just ended
up staying. But did they explain also why the professor
couldn't get back because he got captured? I mean he
was gone on like, yeah, he was gone like a day. Well,
we gotta go rescue the guy. Why what did he

(49:55):
screw something up? Did he lose his ambulance? There's some
many questions that needed to be answered, and pretty much
by his second act, I was like, just all right, movie,
do what you gotta do.

Speaker 7 (50:06):
This is one of those weird films that asks more
questions and gives answers to.

Speaker 2 (50:12):
Why didn't they have to be back in six hours?
That's what I want to know. What happened at six hours?

Speaker 7 (50:20):
Well, the stable Wormhole closes.

Speaker 6 (50:25):
Yes, you have to have some reason to have a
countdown timer in a movie. It's just uh true true
the way the way it works out. It says so
right here in my script, Doctor class, I thought only
to be matched by Geostorm, which had not one, but
two countdown timers at the same time.

Speaker 7 (50:45):
We could just ask rock or chat gpt, hey, why
does uh why do we need to have a countdown
timer for wormholes and just see what they come back with.

Speaker 6 (50:55):
So the the plan is to send most of these
untrained archaeologists, including a very tall and very mousey French
guy so he could translate. Paul Walker's gonna look for
his dad, his girlfriend's gonna come along because he needs
arm candy, and Gerard Butler's going because he knows history

(51:18):
better than everybody else. And then Neil McDonough, who's kind
of the heavy in this, was gonna send two of
his marines, and they were like, no, no, you gotta go.
What do I gotta go for a screwdadder? I don't
do that. Well, you're going anyway. So now we got
a crowd of seven people going back, and I.

Speaker 7 (51:39):
Didn't understand why. And I like Neil McDonough by the way,
he always plays a pretty a really good bad guy,
and I enjoy him, but he serves zero purpose in
this film. His inevitable death is like it's it's like
I don't know. It was like anti commatic. And same

(52:01):
with these two guys. They bring, right, they bring, he brings.
You don't worry. We're all gonna be safe. We're gonna
bring in these two ex military types with us. They're
the first dudes to run away.

Speaker 6 (52:11):
Well one runs away, the other one gets run through
with arrows. And then he also screws up the physics
because we were told that when you rub your ambulet
to go back home in time, that everybody around you
will travel with you. So it's not like every single
person has to rub their necklace.

Speaker 7 (52:28):
I'm not gonna lie to here. That's not what happens
when I rub my amulet.

Speaker 6 (52:33):
T M I A Paul. But you know, they they're
in the woods or something, they encounter bad French people.
Skirmishes take place and the guy gets hit with an arrow.
He's like, oh damn it, and he goes to pull
out his necklace, gets hit with another arrow. Oh damn it,
or rubs his necklace as he pulls out a hand grenade,

(52:59):
because of course he did. Why do you need a
hand grenade in medieval times. I don't know, but they
did because they're Marines.

Speaker 7 (53:07):
I guess that's the one thing he decided to bring
with him, Like everything that you could bring with you
from modern warfare, a hand grenade is the thing you
decided to sneak on board? Yeah, not pretty much. Sure,
A rambo knife.

Speaker 6 (53:23):
About nine milimeter and a couple of clips, you know,
that would probably a.

Speaker 7 (53:28):
Hand grenade like a big ol'd hair Like, what do
you you going up against trabuches? Dude? Is that what
was that you thought? Process? Is I I'm gonna take
out a Traueha.

Speaker 6 (53:37):
I'm just thinking single use here. I mean, yeah, you
could do some damage and take a few people out
and then what you've kind of shot the wad right there.
But he pulls it out as he rubs his necklace,
gets back to the teleporter in our time and collapses
from the arrows, drops the hand grenade, and promptly blows

(53:58):
up the time machine. Well done, grunt.

Speaker 7 (54:05):
This is what I'm saying. These guys are like, He's like,
these are ex military guys. I trust them completely. They
run away and destroy things. Yes, the only guy who
ex military guys were French too.

Speaker 6 (54:18):
Beats cheeks in the woods and he's gone. This one
gets run through with a couple of arrows and comes
back and blows up the machinery. Fan freak fantastic guys.

Speaker 7 (54:26):
They've got no lines and they survive what a minute,
what sixty seconds of this film.

Speaker 6 (54:33):
But and this is the other thing that it doesn't
get addressed, not that you really could, but the whole
time they find the professor, they get arrested, all kinds
of crap happens. All right, let's start rubbing necklaces and
go back home. Guys, it's not working, is that, you know?
That's it? They do that like once or twice. You
would think panic would send it at some point. I

(54:54):
it's like the thing to get is home isn't working.
They were just like, well that's inconvenient, let's go over
to the building and do something.

Speaker 7 (55:06):
Well, they've got no gear, they brought no maps, they've
got no GPS's not that a GPS would work, but
they didn't have a compass. They did bring anything, no
modern stuff with them at all. And they get dropped
off in a river and when they get out of
the river, Neil McDonald goes all right, follow me this way?
You mean following? Where are you going? How do you
know where to go? You're just in a random river, bro,

(55:28):
you know where are you headed?

Speaker 6 (55:30):
And he's the guy that insisted on never going so
how it's not like, oh, I've been here before, I
know the touring. Shut up. You were the one who
said no, I'm never getting in that machine. Now he's like, oh,
I recognize that tree. Yeah, the castle's of mile over here.
Two clicks and we'll get there. Shut up. No, but

(55:50):
pretty much this is are the entire second act of
the movie. Now is them trapsing through a forest, getting
chased by angry French people, coming up to a village,
getting captured in the village, arrested, thrown in an attic,
running around.

Speaker 7 (56:08):
A bunch, don't forget breathing heavy.

Speaker 6 (56:12):
And it's like this whole time, I'm watching stuff happen,
but nothing is really accomplished. It's just burning screen time
and sets and activities are taking place. And then they
run away a lot. They get arrested and thrown into

(56:32):
the belfry and locked in there, and then they find
the professor and okay, great, rub the necklace, let's go home.
That doesn't work, I'm gonna climb out a window, I'm
gonna stab again, I'm gonna run away, and just ponderous
all of this, what are we doing? And I guess
at some point in time, Gerard Butler falls in love

(56:56):
with Lady Guinevere. Was there name?

Speaker 7 (57:01):
Lady Claire? Lady Claire, oh e Claire.

Speaker 6 (57:07):
This is we're told she is a vital component in
history because when she was killed, that motivated the French
to defeat the English, and that needed to take place
because of all the other historical things that fell as

(57:29):
a result, you know, butterfly effect kind of thing. Yeah,
these guys are going back and screwing the pooch historically, like.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Consistently people, and they're worried about her dying now.

Speaker 6 (57:46):
Yeah, And at one point they were rescuing him, and
then somebody said, well, no, she has to die because
that's the historical record and that's what needs to happen
for the French to win. And he's like, oh, yeah,
but I kind of love her. So no, you're a
historian acknowledging that this can't happen, and then saying, yeah,

(58:07):
but I kind of digger, No, we're not. I'm it's like,
I'm I'm trying more than the movie s trying here
at this point.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
I don't know if you guys noticed it, but back
back in the part when they start to do the
time traveling, they showed like the control room and there's
a person sitting down with two keyboards, one on top
of another, with old stuff all around them, and then
whatever it was fifteen twenty minutes earlier when they were
scanning the paper for carbon dating. They're using like technology

(58:44):
that's like, you know, four or five years at least
later than what they were showing inside of this control room.
It's controlling this time travel, which it just completely blew
my mind as from a tech guy.

Speaker 7 (58:58):
Well, my favorite part is that after it gets destroyed,
there are apparently only two scientists that can repair it,
and those are the two scientists that were showing them everything,
Like how did you not have an army of people
putting this together? The duches back there randomly clicking parts
and goes, hey, we uh, it should all be working now.
He goes, yep, we're good to go, like we're at

(59:19):
eighty one percent. I did, Tom, I thought about you
the whole time I was watching this movie. Because every
time that the English would show up on the screen
and full and full armor. Uh, this is the music
that played in my head. You did tell me you

(59:42):
know what? You know what that is? Right now? I
want to play it again.

Speaker 6 (59:45):
Yeah, of course I know what it is.

Speaker 7 (59:48):
Look. Tom and I have been friends for twenty five years.
We have a long and tumultuous history together. And there's
this game that we used to play, the video game
because we're both nerds. It's called Dark Age of Campbell.
It was a fantastic game back in its day, and
we would always have the loading music. That's that was
the loading music that would play. And this whole movie
reminds me of that that video game, did it not?

(01:00:10):
He like multiple times throughout the movie.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
Yeah, the game was better than the movie though, Let's
just be honest.

Speaker 7 (01:00:17):
Oh, the game was fantastic. I could play that game
right now.

Speaker 6 (01:00:23):
Was there a board game though? Was the question?

Speaker 7 (01:00:25):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
I don't though that one. I was like, okay, I.

Speaker 7 (01:00:32):
Don't think there was a board game of Dark Asha Kamela.
There's plenty of games like that, like Shadows over Camelot. Yeah,
Tom goes. Tom plays board games with me. I mean
you can hear it in his voice. You can hear
the nerd in his voice. You know who does. I
was at his house last Sunday playing a board game.

Speaker 6 (01:00:50):
I'm not here to judge.

Speaker 7 (01:00:53):
That's okay, everybody else's.

Speaker 6 (01:00:58):
So there's this second an act is as I said, yes,
ponderous and just try to figure out what the hell
is going on. So at one point, did you notice
Gerard gets separated from them repeatedly in this.

Speaker 7 (01:01:16):
A lot on purpose? I feel like he was just
on purpose.

Speaker 6 (01:01:21):
But it's like the crew is dedicated to him. They
keep saying, it's like, where's Andre, we need Merick, where's
he at? And you know, he's like buggering off in
the woods. And then later on he takes off with
the woman. He and Lady Claire are floating down a river,
because of course they are. She's in this big like
calfskin basin. He's in the water holding on and they're

(01:01:43):
having conversations while floating down the river.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
You guys all over again.

Speaker 6 (01:01:52):
It's like, look like there's room for you in there, Jerry,
you want to pop in? Maybe?

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
No?

Speaker 6 (01:01:56):
Okay? Yeah, And she doesn't want anything to do with him.
He's like, my name is Andre. Andre Mark, and she
just says okay and turns her She turns her back
on him. Dude's like floating in the river for you
and okay, and the current is pretty kicking. These two
were gonna be I don't know where they were going,

(01:02:19):
but they're like three clicks away from everybody. And they
meet up in the forest later on, like inn happenstance,
like oh there you are.

Speaker 7 (01:02:28):
I get well when they originally meet, right and when
he drops in and then hides underneath that little embankment
and runs into Claire the first time. Is she running
from the I guess she's running from the horses, the English,
and so he's trying to get her back to her brother.
Is that? Is that what we're supposed to be thinking
is happening here?

Speaker 6 (01:02:49):
But well, I don't he encountered her. Didn't know it
was her initially because she's hiding in this bog. And
then I love the point where he's like, okay, now
she wants to leave, He's like, well, be careful. She
stands up and is instantly captured like that immediately and
then he not hear him, he just said it.

Speaker 7 (01:03:11):
And he reaches out slowly to grab like a the sword,
like like he was grabbing a dude's gun in a
modern movie. But it's this long broadsword that he's pulled
across and you just hear drag across the stoves. Care
this is like four and a half feet long.

Speaker 6 (01:03:29):
Well, this is how you know it's early in Gerard
Butler's career too, because he he climbs out, gets a
hold of the sword, kills the guy and stands over
him and basically has an anxiety at panic attack. He
just falls out. He's like, oh, I killed pretty pretty
big departure from our last movie Lunderon His Calling, where

(01:03:50):
he dispatched about seventeen dozen people and did so with
glee and Alan.

Speaker 7 (01:03:56):
What what was that? What was that statement? He said?
Was was that necessary? He said? No, he was like
the best slne of the movie.

Speaker 6 (01:04:03):
Oh I love that scene, kills the guy on the
radio with his brother, Lyssie. It's like, that's your brother dying.
It's like, was that really necessary? Nope, that's Mike Banning,
thank you. But this was not he he didn't really
deal with killing a guy very well. So that's how

(01:04:24):
you know we're like twenty years away from the real
Gerard Butler. Who pretty much killed half of London and
was happy doing so.

Speaker 7 (01:04:33):
Remember they set this up earlier when Paul him and
Paul Wark are out in the field and he's just
shooting random arrows at shields and then it's got swords
and stuff around, and he's like, hey, you're pretty good
of this stuff, aren't you. So you know immediately that
there's gonna be a scene where he's pretty good with
this stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:04:46):
Yeah, well that was yes, Like we said, that's the
entire first scene in the movie. If something happens, it's
gonna pay off later. Oh, he just happens to be
fantastic at archery. I wonder if that's gonna come in
handy in medieval times. So, yes, he's He and Lady
Claire are developing well, no, I can't say they're developing
a relationship. He's really into her and she's just like, please, Scottish,

(01:05:14):
you're hardly William the Conqueror, leave me alone. But gradually
he wins her over. While they are going through all
of this process, at one point in time, they are captured,
gathered and brought in so that Lord Oliver, who's played
by Michael Sheen, can posture and preen and do a

(01:05:38):
lot of stuff. He was really good in this. I
gotta give him credit. I like Sheen in this one.

Speaker 7 (01:05:43):
He's the only English person in the entire film.

Speaker 6 (01:05:47):
Well that's gonna happen when you shoot in Quebec, just
saying the English are hard to come by in that
neck of the woods of Canada. But now he's kind
of fun. I mean, he's enjoying the role. He's not
quite over the top hammy acting, but he's you can
tell he's the guy in control. He's very comfortable. He's

(01:06:08):
sword fighting while talking with people and carrying on. I
liked it. I dug the guy far cry from what
he was in Twilight, So I'll call this a revelation.
His career is taking a backslide. So he's he's clearly
displeased with anybody French and actually kills their interpreter like

(01:06:29):
right there, oh, oh, you speak French. Let me give
you a phrase. Now translate that for me, and he's like, uh,
it means the French guy. I gotta tell you, I'm
kind of glad he died. He annoyed the hell out
of me. He was just like this mountain. He didn't
want to do nothing.

Speaker 7 (01:06:46):
So Weasley, here's the other part. You know that you're
sending him back to when the English are fighting the
French at this castle. It's happening that night. That's what
they're hurrying for, I guess, and they're like, hey, we
should send a French dude into an English encampment. That'll

(01:07:07):
turn out well, no problems there. Why wouldn't you tell him, Hey,
you might want to sit this on that bro, We're
going to take this Google Translate on your Pixel Junior
plus or whatever it's called, your sidekick. The team's a
t mobile sidekick. He's usually a translator function on it.
And instead of taking your friend who's probably gonna die
at the hand of an Englishman.

Speaker 6 (01:07:25):
But it's not like the guy was blatantly French. I mean,
clearly he's working in America to start with.

Speaker 7 (01:07:33):
His name was Francois right.

Speaker 6 (01:07:37):
Go with Frank, you know, and he's a translator, so
clearly he could speak both languages. Don't tell him he's French.
How about that. I'm just gonna go there.

Speaker 7 (01:07:45):
Just tell him he's he's a mute that carries all
your stuff, like there were so many other things that
he's deaf, and mute. He can hear you, but he
can't speak. He can't say words.

Speaker 6 (01:07:56):
He's the tallest one. He carries all the heavy gear.
That's all he's good for. Otherwise he's useless. Bra No,
even when Lord Oliver says, so you're French, I hate
the French. Let me hear you say something at that
point in time, you know what it just cut out
and say he's been to France, but he's not really French.

Speaker 7 (01:08:18):
No.

Speaker 6 (01:08:18):
So yeah, he gets run through with a sword right there,
and they're like, well, damn, that sucks. Not a lot
of emotion from these people when they lose a close friend.

Speaker 7 (01:08:31):
None, except at the end of the movie they name
their kids Francois and.

Speaker 6 (01:08:38):
Christopher, and I shed a tear, like, oh that's so beautiful. No,
and so yeah, we get to a point where the
British soldiers captured them all and we're walking through the forest.

(01:08:59):
Why I wasn't clear on this.

Speaker 2 (01:09:02):
Did France all do any translating?

Speaker 7 (01:09:05):
Away is the one that killed him?

Speaker 6 (01:09:07):
Yeah, just when he said I am a spy and
you can see he was being set up. He's like, okay,
what you said in France, I'm a spy, But I'm
not a spy, you see, because that's what you said,
and I'm translating for you. No, he's just like, I'm
I'm a spy. The guy's a translator and didn't want

(01:09:28):
to speak period. What The guy was useless. So when
he died, I was like, thank god, I mean sorry,
it was sad and gripping. Lord Oliver's amini, I suppose,
but it's I didn't understand the whole marching through the forest,

(01:09:51):
like where were they going because they captured everybody at
that village where Castle Rock is.

Speaker 7 (01:09:59):
At Castle Rock whatever I hell it was Castle Guard.

Speaker 6 (01:10:07):
Can you tell I didn't like this movie.

Speaker 7 (01:10:10):
Castle Rock that's in the Castle Rock Entertainment in that
one of the movie movie City.

Speaker 6 (01:10:14):
Yeah, it's a production house. The Yes, the English got
him and they're all bound up and they got the
professor and everything else, and now they're marching them through
the forest. I didn't I wasn't clear where they're going.
I guess back to a castle where Lord Oliver was.
But in this time they encounter one of the soldiers

(01:10:36):
is dec Harry, who's actually Decker, who's one of theirs,
and this had to be something lost in the editing right.

Speaker 7 (01:10:47):
Because I'm guessing so because I couldn't follow that portion
of it either.

Speaker 6 (01:10:51):
So Neil McDonough is tied up behind a cart walking
behind him and shrudging along. The care comes up on
the horse and they start yammering with each other and
he's like, like, dude, rub your necklace. You can get back home.
And he's like, no, I'm not Decker anymore. I'm to
Care and I need you guys to translate history for me,
because if I do well, then you do well. And

(01:11:14):
then there's some sort of anger between the two of them,
and Decker is just like, well, I'm kind of done
with you and stabs him and so he just dies
right there, falls down and he's now getting dragged behind
the cart. And I swear to god, I thought one
of the other vehicles behind them with the three horses

(01:11:37):
was gonna walk right over Neil McDonough.

Speaker 7 (01:11:39):
Yeah, And they never even show it, Like McDonough, it
just gets dispatched that quickly. He's I wouldn't say he's
pivotal in the scene right or a pivot in the movie,
but he's a pretty lasting character. He's been giving a
lot more to do than Francois and anybody and a
lot of other people in the film, and he just
like is gone, Hey, you know, I've got a family

(01:12:02):
and kids back home. Bad dead cut the rope. How
do you not get stomped again? Like the Glasses, they
don't get stomped by a giant army walking across him.

Speaker 6 (01:12:15):
Well, they almost show it because you know, he falls,
but he's still tied up. So now he's dragged behind
a cart and coming behind him is a larger cart
driven by four horses, and they have to actually stop.
It's like a foot before they're in a trample. That
would have been pretty cool, except that, like Neil mcdonna,
so I didn't want him to. But it's like that

(01:12:37):
could have been that could have been up. I hope
that was a stuntman, is all I'm saying. I guess.
Now we get to the third act, which is the battle.

Speaker 7 (01:12:49):
I think so I think that's right because this took
and it feels like a completely different movie.

Speaker 6 (01:12:58):
Yeah, they all get to this castle where Lord Oliver
is running the show, and then the French are all
out there with their tribuchets and everything else. And one
of the plot points is that the professor, Billy Connolly
supposedly was giving them the formula for Greek fire, which

(01:13:24):
is a this is a historical thing. This was a
wartime basically like their ancient orange. Maybe I don't know.

Speaker 7 (01:13:36):
It wasn't Greek fire Archimedes.

Speaker 6 (01:13:40):
Well this was this was a military fuel they used
in battle. That was such a secret formula that it's
been lost at time, like they didn't like nobody knows
it existed, but nobody knows how to make it even today.
But somehow the professor does. And again he even says that,

(01:14:05):
you know, well, we can't give them the formula for
Greek fire because that'll give them the advantage and it
will alter history. Oh, by the way, I gave him
the formula for Greek fire.

Speaker 7 (01:14:17):
All right, so Greek fire is is akin to the
modern napalm. That would make sense, I guess.

Speaker 6 (01:14:25):
Yeah. The film supposed to be in something of that
vein where this was some combustible ordinance that you couldn't
put out in conventional like if you poured water and
such on it, it would defy that and keep burning. And
so again we have historians defying their own standard of

(01:14:47):
history that they have spoken of. She has to die,
and I'm not gonna let her die. We can't give
them that formula that I just gave them. It's like, dude,
I'm glad this is the movie because otherwise we'd be
screwed with these assholes in the past. So we have

(01:15:08):
this just pro tracted battle scene taking place. We see
about eighty seven scenes of a trebuche sending fireballs into
the castle. This is all pretty cool visuals. But again,
after like twenty minutes, can we do something else? Can
we have any kind of plot percussion?

Speaker 7 (01:15:27):
And I don't think there was anybody there was no
what do they call the people that sit on the
set and make sure that things that happen in one
scene match what happened in the second scene? Like yeah,
like so like if you is it a script supervisor?
So if somebody's sitting there and they place their towel

(01:15:49):
on the back of a chair and the left corner
of the room and the emblem is facing inward, well,
when they come back two days later to film that
scene again, they make sure that that everything is right
where it was before, so that things aren't you moving
around the set. I don't think one of those existed
on this film because we see Castle Guard multiple times

(01:16:10):
at the beginning and at the end of this movie
set in modern day two thousand and three. This movie
is set in two thousand and three. But then they
do not destroy those parts of the castle that we
see still see. They destroy the parts of the castle
we see standing with the Trevis Shay. Parts of that
castle are falling down that are still existing upright in

(01:16:32):
modern day history. It doesn't make it like no one
was paying attention to that. It just like Trevis Shay
fire it. Oh yeah, let's see it destroy this wall.
That's gonna be awesome. They didn't bother to say, hey,
did we leave this part standing guys at the beginning
of the film.

Speaker 6 (01:16:47):
And you know, I've been to a number of movie sets,
and it used to be back in the day they
would actually take polaroids, like at the start of a scene,
and then when they yelled to cut, they'd take another
one and then they'd compare them. It's like, okay, his
glass was half full, that cheer was turned to the left.
Now they force you cell phones and such. But I
guess they probably had two different sets. It almost seems

(01:17:11):
like they shot the battle scene first and then constructed
for the first act the contemporary ruins of it.

Speaker 7 (01:17:22):
I hope that's not true, because if that's true, that
that makes the folly of what they did even worse
because you had the ability to film the scenes, destroy
the part of the castle that you need to be destroyed,
and then show the destroyed castle and the beginning of
the end of the film.

Speaker 6 (01:17:38):
Actually I got the answer for you.

Speaker 7 (01:17:40):
Oh here we go.

Speaker 6 (01:17:42):
Well, this whole battle took place at night, okay, so
like all the stuff that looked like it got destroyed
really wasn't. And then when the sunlight came up, you
were shadows, and then the angulage they screwed up.

Speaker 7 (01:18:00):
They screwed they screwed up.

Speaker 2 (01:18:06):
That's just there was the part you guys, there was.
There was a part that you guys were talking. I
think was during this battle where Paul Walker's character and
Kate have to hide, like to hear somebody coming around
the corner and I think they're going back to the

(01:18:26):
tunnels the time maybe, and they're like, quick, we got
to hide, and he literally takes one step to his
right and like gets down like maybe a in a
C position, and then they have a fair blown conversation
for like three or four minutes, and I'm like, what
happened to the guy that just was riding by? Is

(01:18:47):
that not really a thing?

Speaker 7 (01:18:49):
And they're open mouth, breathing heavy. They of course, they
literally just set up an extra one goes, we can
need that. You're right, he says, we need to hide,
and then he just takes a step next to the
wall and wats down. And then they proceed to have
a long, loud conversation, breathing heavy the whole time, like
how are you hiding against the wall that you didn't

(01:19:09):
go anywhere?

Speaker 2 (01:19:12):
Maybe that was just just his move, right, that make
a flying kind of thing.

Speaker 7 (01:19:16):
Hey, look, we're making fun of it, But at worked.
The guy didn't see him.

Speaker 6 (01:19:19):
So he got away. You can't mock it, you know.
Maybe it was because of them going so far back
in time. It wasn't global warming, so there was a
lot more oxygen. Yeah, and they weren't used to that.
Maybe maybe that.

Speaker 7 (01:19:37):
Is there where in the mountains of Castle Guard, is it?
Is it high altitude there? Maybe they weren't built for it.

Speaker 6 (01:19:43):
Yeah, could beat yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:19:47):
Sure, Like me hiking through the Sagoyas last year, giving
myself high altitude.

Speaker 6 (01:19:52):
I mean, you know Paul Walker coming from California. I
mean he's at sea level, so that would make sense, right,
he's from the beach, and that they were, you know,
up in the hill area. Yeah, air's thinner up there.
I guess it's just whatever we can do to not
talk about the movie because it's just long battle scenes.
I liked the one portion where it was stealth where

(01:20:17):
they're shooting flaming arrows at each other at night, and
then Lord Oliver says, go with the night arrows.

Speaker 7 (01:20:27):
Arrows.

Speaker 6 (01:20:29):
Now. I'm sure a lot of people aren't as deeply
attuned to archaeological facts like I am. But a night arrow,
for those who aren't initiated, is one that you don't
light on fire.

Speaker 7 (01:20:45):
It's just you just fire the arrow at night.

Speaker 6 (01:20:52):
He made it sound like this is like it's like
night arrows. Cool? What is this gonna be? I can't
wait to see. It's like, oh, so you're not lighting
it on fire at night? God, So it's a regular
is what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (01:21:06):
And then when the Prince get hit by it, they
immediately go, oh, night arrows, retreat.

Speaker 6 (01:21:15):
It's not fair. We're supposed to see them.

Speaker 7 (01:21:17):
I can tell you right now, Tom, I just you
know what I just added to my jack Box list name.
Oh my god, night Arrows. See Tom and I, Like
I said, Tom and I have a long history. And
at our board game house that we go to every
year done in Kassimi, we play board games with a
bunch of fellow nerds for like six days, we bring

(01:21:38):
up jack Box and we play jack Box the whole time.
And so we have a running list of names that
we use in jack Box because we're not going to
use our own names. Like we got old Slapping Pancakes
and prison wink Chicken water shame Waffle. I just added
night Arrows to it. That's that's gonna be on the list, Tom,
Night Arrows.

Speaker 6 (01:21:57):
Should I should? I know what night boxes?

Speaker 7 (01:22:00):
We have a Nightbox Road near near at old house.
Mini van Shrimp snackle Box was in there. Jennifer gave
me business hank at one point. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:22:11):
I mean, if you don't know what night box is
by now, we might need to teach you to Vegas.

Speaker 7 (01:22:15):
Bro't he's got kids. There's a song called Night Arrows
by Brian Tyler. No stop it, stop, stop stop it.
That is the name of Okay, So there's an actual
theme to this called night Arrows, and I just googled
night Arrows and it comes up with a song by
Brian Tyler and I'm like, who's that. I wonder what

(01:22:37):
this is and I click on it. It's from two
thousand and three. I'm like, there's no way it's literally
from the movie. It's exactly, it's from the movie. That's ridiculous.

Speaker 6 (01:22:52):
Well, I will uh, I will say that. In the
same vein. We did our rough fantasy draft last night.
My grandson was like, oh, you gotta be in our
league new so I was. And last night he drafts
Nase Harris. He comes up with a team name and
he's been working on it all drafts. He's like, I
got it, so now his team name is Nause in Germany.

(01:23:19):
He's like. He sends that to me in text. He's like,
oh my god, I want to use this one. And
I look at it and die and I was like,
if you don't use that, I'm out of this league myself. He's, uh, yeah,
corrupted the thirteen year old, and I'm very proud of it.
So the uh okay, so the battle takes place, I

(01:23:41):
should say, probably all this time too. We interject the
battle scenes with going back to the laboratory in present
day where they're working diligently to fix this thing. A
lot of coil activity going on.

Speaker 7 (01:23:55):
From what everybody a lot of coil Like everyonebody's working
on it except for the guy that stayed behind. He's
just run around wine and John.

Speaker 6 (01:24:04):
That's Stern, that's there. Uh, he's the guy that did
the carbon dating on the ink and all. He does
his bark and wine at the technicians. What do you
mean you don't have a backup? What do you mean
you can't get him back?

Speaker 7 (01:24:16):
What do you mean?

Speaker 6 (01:24:17):
They're stuck there?

Speaker 7 (01:24:20):
But when he walks into when he walks into the
facility of the first time, he acts like he is
the highest it god to ever use it. He's the
one doing the carbon dating and the spectral analysis on
the on the lenses and that kind of crap that
he walks in. He's just is like he doesn't understand
science suddenly. He just science is beyond him and he

(01:24:41):
doesn't recognize any of the technology.

Speaker 6 (01:24:45):
But he's.

Speaker 2 (01:24:49):
I have a weird question for you guys, Just like
this was an approach in the movie at all, but
it's something that's kept bothering me. So they had built
in a duplicate in New York, right, is what they
said of this place. Yeah, what happens when they try
to send something from New York? Did it go to
a different wormhole? Did it just go to a different
part of France because they brought them back through that
New York.

Speaker 7 (01:25:11):
Who knows? And why wouldn't I thought as soon as
they blew this one up, they were like, hey, we
got to back up in New York. We'll just got
on a plane and fly there quickly, because we can
get from LA to New York on a on a
jet plane, you know, in four hours.

Speaker 6 (01:25:28):
But they had a seven hour time limit. And also
in New York they don't have coils.

Speaker 7 (01:25:36):
But you're gonna tell you, I'm supposed to believe that
it was quicker for them to rebuild this entire Like
they had spare glass shields or windows or see through
mirrors or whatever they are they had. They had spare
like twenty four of those just laying around spared a
good like throwing at any anytime.

Speaker 6 (01:25:54):
Well, yeah, you gotta have a backup plan just in
case a hand renade goes off inside the teleporder that's true.

Speaker 7 (01:26:01):
I didn't think about that continuous scientists, and I'm not exactly.

Speaker 6 (01:26:06):
So they're spending all this time building it. And they
said that during the beta testing they were able to
have a successful mission if it operated at eighty percent
or better. Thank god, right now it's running at eighty
one percent.

Speaker 7 (01:26:25):
That's that's how I'm.

Speaker 6 (01:26:31):
Well, we needed a little bit better than minimum, so
we'll go one percent higher, said the script writer.

Speaker 7 (01:26:37):
Eighty one percent of the time. It works one hundred
percent of the time, sex fandash.

Speaker 6 (01:26:42):
There you go. I just so they're they're definitely fighting
the countdown. Now again, we were not clear what happened
like at the countdown, they're just stuck in medieval times forever.
But why that's the part they couldn't explain, Like the
necklaces run out? Why is there a time limit? But

(01:27:08):
the thing is no clue. Nobody in in the Middle
Ages where they're stuck, knew about them trying to rebuild it.
They didn't know about this countdown taking place, but they
all were rushing to get to a spot so they
could use the necklace. That doesn't work with a minute remaining, is.

Speaker 7 (01:27:30):
It because it it needs forty feet of space. Is
that because it brings things back with you, Like that
dude came back with arrows shoved in him, but none
of the dirt and grass or trees nearby, or rocks, like,
none of that showed up.

Speaker 6 (01:27:45):
Oh well, I have an explanation. No, I got an
explanation for all of that, Paul, stop asking those questions.

Speaker 7 (01:27:55):
That is that's the best way to handle it. I
guess it's the same thing when when when they time
travel everywhere else, like in any time travel movies, like uh, Terminator,
you can't none of his clothes come through, but like
nothing else around him comes through either. You've got to.
I guess you have to suspend disbelief for a lot

(01:28:17):
of this, But I don't. I choose not to. I
don't want to. I'm gonna judge this movie based on
my entire suspend unsuspended belief.

Speaker 6 (01:28:26):
Well, yeah, with with Terminator, they justified it because they
said the robot was covered in organic manner and that worked.
And here since it's a time facts machine, and again
they've explained that like five times over in this film.
Not just like a fact. It scrambles and digital and

(01:28:48):
sends you out and particles and uh huh electrons electrons.

Speaker 7 (01:28:55):
It breaks you down to the electronic level and.

Speaker 6 (01:28:58):
It rebuilds your DNA, which I don't think it works
that way. It's not like a three D printer, like
a helix.

Speaker 7 (01:29:09):
That's what I'm talking. Stern walks in acting like he
knows all of this technology and how it works, and
he's trying to talk to people going into it, but
then when it comes time to fix it or do it,
he's like he can't do any of it. He doesn't
understand it, like he just got completely stupid. And that
shows you how old this movie is, right two thousand
and three. I mean, look back at Fast and Furious
two thousand and one. That's that's kind of the biggest

(01:29:31):
They're stealing DVD players at the beginning of that movie,
Like that whole thing is they're stealing semichucks full of
DVD players, and now this movie's talking about fax machines.
But this is how old all three of us are,
is that that was only twenty two years ago, and
it feels like in technology terms, it's forever. When's the
last time you sent a fax? They're all emails or

(01:29:56):
screen shots. He just emailed me a screenshot.

Speaker 6 (01:30:00):
I can do a PDF on my phone a lot
faster than it would take the load to damn thing.

Speaker 7 (01:30:04):
But that's why it's so dangerous for movie writers to
include tech modern technology in their films and act as
if it's the crux of their whole story. Right, Like
you said, well, they're explaining three D facts to people
all the time in this movie, like this is the
three D factors there. But like you've got a movie
that just came out right, it's gonna be completely obsolete
within twenty years and then another ten we may not

(01:30:27):
be faxing at all, and people would be like, I
don't even understand what a fax machine is. That's like
having a horror movie called Landline and expecting people to
understand what it's supposed to be about.

Speaker 6 (01:30:37):
Well they would. They've gone through that on the horror
spectrum because like every time there's a new technology, they
somehow imbue it with evil. So we've seen I mean
they've done it with black phone. But then you had
the Ring where you watch a haunted VHS and now

(01:30:57):
people are like, the hell's of HS? What Beta? What
Beta Max?

Speaker 7 (01:31:03):
No? Well, look at was it air Force one? Where
he has to use an iPod in a scanner and
he uses an iPod and a scanner to scan through
codes and put them onto an iPod hard drive. And
then in the movie was a flight plan with Jodie
Foster and she's using a palm pilot to like pull
up schematics. It's just everything gets completely outdated. They just

(01:31:27):
had a movie come out this year called Drop you
know by air Drop you know horror, the horror film
about your I guess, thriller about air dropping things. After
a while, air Drop's not gonna exist. In twenty years
of air Drop one exists and the whole premise of
this movie will be completely obsolete. It's just it's so
weird when they try to include technology like that and
think that it will never go away.

Speaker 6 (01:31:50):
Well, we can go back in time whenever we want,
because we're operating on a gateway computer.

Speaker 7 (01:31:57):
E machine. Tom and I put together several email machines
back in the day, compact on the old Healett packard. Hey, uh,
you can buy this this computer with a monitor and
printer for free if you sign up for three years
at MSN. How many how many of that? How much
of that garbage did we do? Tom?

Speaker 2 (01:32:17):
I enough that I think I need to apologize to
a lot of people about that.

Speaker 7 (01:32:22):
Tom and I worked who met a best buy at
the tech bench. We were fixing and repairing computer except
for that one dude that just sat in the back
corner waiting for his h what was that fellow's name?
He got a kickit. He never did any work. Unfortunately,
he was getting married. Brad. This is so awesome. The
dude was getting married, got a job of the tech bench,

(01:32:44):
didn't know anything about computers, sat back there and didn't
help us, waited thirty days for his employee discount to
kick in, got bought a washer, dryer and all of
his appliances with this employee discount, then quit.

Speaker 6 (01:32:56):
Nice the same day.

Speaker 2 (01:33:01):
You had to respect it because he had a plan,
he saw it through, completed it.

Speaker 7 (01:33:11):
This is back when we were still installing modems. We
were still installing thirty thirty three six modems.

Speaker 6 (01:33:19):
We just talked about it on the culture Ship the
other night. AOL is getting rid of dial up internet.

Speaker 7 (01:33:26):
I didn't even realize AOL still had dial Internet. But this,
this will come as a surprise to you, Brad, I'm sure.
But I worked at AOL as a tech rep back
in the day, like in nineteen ninety four, nineteen ninety five,
and back then they were still using CompuServe. They had millions,

(01:33:48):
hundreds of millions of users with AOL, but they had
bought compu Serve. I don't know if you remember them,
and they still had people using They had like one
hundred thousand people still using compu Serve back in the nineties,
but that was something that went away. Like in the
late eighties, you've got mail, Oh yeah, little Tom Hanks action.

Speaker 6 (01:34:05):
Well, like we were talking about on the show too,
it's like if anybody even has dial up, now, how
do you load any web page?

Speaker 7 (01:34:15):
Oh, it's got to take forever to download pictures of
Kathy Ireland in a swimsuit.

Speaker 6 (01:34:21):
I mean, say, the simple graphics alone on most websites
would be like, okay, we'll get around it is in
the next ten to fifteen minutes. Why do't you go
start dinner? Thank God forbid. If you click on a page,
I get access to a three D facts.

Speaker 7 (01:34:38):
The first thing I'm doing is printing out Kathy Ireland
from No Kathy. That's Kelly LeBrock.

Speaker 6 (01:34:45):
Kelly leer Brock from Weird Science, Weird science too.

Speaker 1 (01:34:48):
You animals, the three D Goddess.

Speaker 7 (01:34:53):
I can tell you if I get it, I'm not
going back to thirteen fifty seven Castle Guard. I'm putting
a problem in my head and we're prepping. Well, elle LeBrock,
that's what we're doing, Me and Tom that's gonna be.
That's gonna be a video. We're gonna live stream. That's her.

Speaker 2 (01:35:09):
Whoa, whoa, don't include me in your fantasy star.

Speaker 7 (01:35:14):
Old m the Great just put in al binariest pictures
in the in the chest. Yep, oh my god.

Speaker 6 (01:35:26):
Well, the this entire movie climaxes in this fashion. They
rushed to get the time portal repaired before the deadline,
while everybody in the Middle Ages who's completely unaware of
the deadline, raises out to rub their necklaces in time
for the deadline, even though the necklaces haven't worked for

(01:35:49):
a week or whatever the hell time they've spent out there.
They know for a fact now when they rub them,
that's gonna work. And Paul Walker is the castle was
getting destroyed because Gerard Butler's in love with his red
haired Glass and says, I'm gonna drop this fire on

(01:36:11):
the munition's dump unless you let her go. They said, Oh,
he'll never do it because that'll kill her too. He's like,
fuck it and drops it in there. Everything blows up
to hell. He somehow rescues her. Paul Walker runs out
and says, come on, we've got a minute to go.
Shut up, Paul, you have no idea what you're talking about.

(01:36:32):
But okay, I hear no, go ahead, I'm staying here
with hah And they look at each other moon eyed
and oh.

Speaker 7 (01:36:43):
No, no, no. The best part is his epiphany scene
where he's fighting the car on the on the castle
rooftop or whatever on the embankment and he slices off
his ear with the sword and he looks at he
goes then he goes, it's me. It's me. It's me,
it's me, Like suddenly he realizes that the guy on

(01:37:05):
the stone tablet missing an ear was him. That's that's him.
Like he's been in love with he's been in love
with Lady Claire since the since his first time he
saw her chiseled in stone, I guess, And now he
has the opportunity to stay with her, and he's like,
it's me, Like that mightn't be the stupidest epiphany in
a movie I've ever seen.

Speaker 6 (01:37:26):
Well, yeah, he started the winter over by this point
in time, and he's gonna blow the castle to hell
just to stay with her. And then Paul Walker's like,
come on, we gotta beat cheeks and get over there
to go back home. And he's like, yeah, go vote me.
I'm so they fall in love, kiss, blah blah blah.
These remaining individuals go out in the field and lo

(01:37:48):
and behold, Hey, the necklace work this time. And they
got back in and Stern rushes up to the machine
as the mirrors open up. He's like, you guys are back.
Where's where's Frank? Where's where's the French guy where? And
they're like, oh, well, don't forget.

Speaker 7 (01:38:10):
They send back the bad scientists. He gets trapped in there,
so as as they're coming back, he's going out, oh right,
right right.

Speaker 2 (01:38:19):
Yeah, they change places.

Speaker 7 (01:38:21):
Yeah, because you can send a fact at the same
time to a to another number. That's the way that works.

Speaker 6 (01:38:31):
Well, I mean this is I don't know, it seemed
a little unnecessary. So yeah, he gets basically in the
portal while it closes, and he's like, oh crap, I
can't go back. I don't have a necklace. And he
he wasn't really that evil, though, was he. I mean,

(01:38:52):
he was kind of a peop telling me what to do.
But it wasn't like he was an arch villain.

Speaker 7 (01:38:58):
It's his name doney Or because I just want to
call him Donger the whole time. Sometimes n I G
e R. I think it's dongy Or, but I just
call him Doner because it's easier. But he was. He
was the one that was like going to leave them behind,
and he was going to run off and just not
help them at all and just you know, cover his
bases and his own you know cya.

Speaker 6 (01:39:19):
Well, yeah, but I mean it was more that was
more out of expedience. Really, it wasn't like he was evil.
He wasn't just a nefarious villain. And he's like, thank
god he got his come up, and he was like,
we can't pull this off. You don't even know a
damn thing about coils. But then they did.

Speaker 7 (01:39:36):
So apparently the book has him dying in a completely
different way when he when he gets sent back, I
guess he finds some dead bodies and starts to cough
during the Black plague. That's how the book ends.

Speaker 6 (01:39:50):
Well, they but they also said in the book he
was established as that vile evil type. So they did
that and like, yeah, they threw him in some hovele
and he got concern sumption from everybody else or such. Yeah,
the the crew coming back head and one British soldier
on horseback about to cut their heads off. They flash out.

(01:40:14):
Donagan comes flashing back in at Fragle Rock or Castle
Castle Gate.

Speaker 7 (01:40:20):
Fragle Rock is what you go with next.

Speaker 6 (01:40:23):
And so right when he appears is when the sword's
swimming and we just hear the sound effect and I
guess he's dead. But yeah, they get back and Stern
is like, so, where where's Jean Pierre, where's Frank? And
they're like, oh, they didn't make it. And he was like, oh,

(01:40:46):
so that's your reaction. Your close friends didn't make it.
And what about Merrick. It's like, oh, he fell in
love and he stayed behind too. It's like, dang, that
kind of.

Speaker 7 (01:40:57):
Sucks, like America. And here's the thing. You know, they
at the end of the movie, they're going over back
to digging around in the archaeological site. Right, I mean
it c I guess ceases to be a thing I
would assume ceases to be a thing, but they're still
funding the project.

Speaker 2 (01:41:11):
I don't know how that works.

Speaker 7 (01:41:12):
And they're still digging in this area. I'm Marrek. I
know where these guys have been digging. I know what
they've been looking for. I'm screwing with everybody, knowing that
I'm gonna screw with them six hundred years in the future.
I'm moving stuff. I'm putting things in places that they
weren't expecting it to be. Because they were expecting it
to be at Location A. I have now moved it

(01:41:33):
over to Location B. Good luck find it now, Rubes,
I'm screwed with them the whole time. He just leaves everything.

Speaker 2 (01:41:40):
Know exactly what you're doing. Yeah, you're gonna be drawn.
D're on certain type of pictures all over every walls
or coffag is.

Speaker 7 (01:41:47):
Yeah, every time, every time I see a painting of
Decker or so, I'm drawing penis on it. I'm gonna
put penis on his face. That's where that's what we
come from. I'm gonna get the first I'm gonna be
get the credit for that.

Speaker 6 (01:42:00):
We carbon dated this penis and it's six hundred and
fifty years old.

Speaker 7 (01:42:06):
And this is people did a little bit of that
in college.

Speaker 6 (01:42:09):
So the whole thing concludes. Now where we get back
to present day, dig say, professors there, Paul Walker's there,
and they discover a new inscription at the base of
the sarcophagus, and they read it and they come to
discover it's merrac all along. And here's where I have
to call bull craft now, because it means that Merrick

(01:42:35):
fell in love with lady Claire and they spent their
life together, which means she didn't die like she absolutely
had to, which means history is completely screwed now.

Speaker 7 (01:42:46):
And when you go he died, he died at the
age of fifty seven. So somebody has done the math
on this right. So he was born in seventy one,
time traveled back to thirteen fifty seven, and died in
thirteen eighty two. The movie is set in two thousand
and three, and that makes marriage fifty seven years old.
So he's fifty seven. They've got what three or four kids,
and they were only together from fifty seven to eighty two.

(01:43:10):
I can't do that math. It's a odd number. They
can't do math like that that quick in my head.
Twenty five twenty five, I got I got it forty time,
twenty five. I shouldn't say it. I had a lag.
I was flagging. So in twenty five years they had
four kids and then he died. I assume he died

(01:43:31):
from the plague he had to die from. You know,
they didn't live long again. Why would you not come
back as royalty. He came as a poop person. Don't
come as a poop person. If you travel back to
the thirteen to fifty seven Castle Guard.

Speaker 6 (01:43:44):
He probably died from an ear infection.

Speaker 7 (01:43:49):
Twenty five year old ear infection. He ban go to himself.

Speaker 6 (01:43:53):
Sepsis. That takes it.

Speaker 7 (01:43:57):
Slows.

Speaker 6 (01:43:59):
Yeah, they didn't have vac team in that day, so
you know it's gonna catch up to you one way
or the other. All right, that is timeline. I would uh,
i'd maybe give this a veiled recommendation. Gerard Butler's pretty
good in this. It's not like he sucks. So he
was and he was featured prominently and he actually did
things onlike Paul Walker. So I don't know, it's kind

(01:44:20):
of fun, even though a lot of stuff happened that
didn't need to. But uh, you're pretty much getting about
twenty minutes of enjoyment out of a two hour movie.
How about that.

Speaker 7 (01:44:30):
I'll tell you what come for the Come for the coils,
stay for the night arrows. That's that's the best recommendation
you can get for this movie.

Speaker 6 (01:44:38):
And it's on tub. You can watch it for freeze.
You don't have to drop a dime on this mess,
all right, Tom, That's where I saw Pluto, Sorry exactly.
So let everybody know where you can find you two
at other venues on the inner tubes.

Speaker 7 (01:44:53):
Tom's garage playing board games. That's that's pretty much what we.

Speaker 6 (01:44:56):
Did live streaming that on you.

Speaker 7 (01:45:00):
We should? Why we should? We should do that?

Speaker 6 (01:45:04):
Watch on twitch.

Speaker 7 (01:45:07):
And your mom be your mom.

Speaker 6 (01:45:15):
Right as right of. You can catch me over at
town hall dot com with my media column every day.
I'm also on the front page of Red State. I've
got a media podcast I do there called Liable Sources.
You can also hear me right here at Kayla and
next Thursday with Already Packard you and I will go
through the vital entertainment information for you on the Culture

(01:45:37):
Shift and every Tuesday night at eight and a half,
it's me and the ever profess and Aggie Reekin with
the cocktail lounge giving you all kinds of leisure distractions, sports,
are you name it. We bring the fun there and
if you need more of me than that less space
that you do, head over to Jitter on Matt Martini Shark. Well,
all right, Paul, it's gonna wrap it are our Butler

(01:46:00):
month will be over, so we gotta venture into September
with some new features.

Speaker 7 (01:46:05):
Oh we'll find something, you know, we will.

Speaker 6 (01:46:09):
Indeed, indeed, well we'll filter the septic tanks of Hollywood
and see what we can come up with. Tom, thanks
so much for sitting in. Had a fun time with it.
I'm I'm glad we got to do a movie for
you guys.

Speaker 7 (01:46:21):
Yeah, I'll see you this weekend. Tom, he lives, He
lives exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:46:28):
Thanks for the invite. I appreciate it.

Speaker 6 (01:46:29):
It's fun coolness. All right. We will see everybody back
here in two weeks. On disasters in the making.

Speaker 1 (01:46:39):
If we were this weading, we never know the fortunes
that we had.

Speaker 2 (01:46:45):
The week go go and do we just keep Jill
in time on to there's no time to kid