Disasters in the Making: Barking up the wrong tree

Brad and Paul discuss the movie "Love on a Leash"

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:52):
So are we love? I missed an intro song. Sorry, sorry,
but welcome everybody in kal r n Land. This is
your early introduction to the weekend. This is Disasters into
making get ready for a dirty foray into the back
alleys and dumpsters of Hollywood. And man, do we live
up to that tonight? And yes, I did say we

(01:14):
because joining me every fortnight on these dark forays in
Hollywood is none other than Paul Young from screenerant dot com.
What's going on, Paul?

Speaker 2 (01:24):
What has happened to my friend Brelly? How are you
this fine evening?

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Well, I'm I feel like I'm supposed to say Happy
Valentine's Day, but they ain't nothing happy about tonight's show.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
No, I mean there's a nerve of love in this
movie that you picked out, not a single bit of love.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
As a brief introduction. If anybody listening is new to
the show. Paul and I always like to tie in
a bad film to go with something in theater, something
in the news, something happening in the world, and well,
tomorrow being the day of love, we figured we would
look forward movie that you know is rooted in romance

(02:03):
to see if we can bring a little heartfelt feelings
to our audience.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Oh my gosh, you know what this movie did to me?
This is how this movie. But you ever seen the
video of that lady who is on a trampoline and
falls backwards on her butt and she is completely upside
down and then the dog walks over and starts humping
her head. That's what this movie. That's how I felt
watching this film. I feel like the woman I.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Was going to go more like we were looking for
a heartfelt film and this thing is more like cinematic angioplasty.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
It's it's terrible. It's not even terrible like we've watched.
I texted you while I was watching this thing. I
was like, we've been doing this show for five and
almost five and a half years now, a little over
five and a half years, and we've watched just absolute garbage.
You know, some stuff's been okay, but for the most

(03:01):
part we've watched the just some bad stuff. This is
a different level of bad. Like we not chosen something
of this nature before.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
No, No, I'm very proud of this. This selection. I
gotta say this is this is probably at the bottom
or near the bottom of the list of films we've done.
This is on par with The Room with Birdemic. And
I don't say that lightly.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
I would watch I'd watch Birdemic right now. I would
never watch this movie again, like, not even to make
fun of it.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
This is yeah, this is remarkable, this is very We're
gonna get into some very specific details. Now. We call
this show Disasters into Making because we like to explore
not just the badness of the film, but what caused it,
what went into the making of it, that kind of thing.
This one is going to live up to the title

(03:54):
like few others have.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Let me tell you what this movie reminds me of.
Uh have we even talked about the movie yet?

Speaker 1 (04:02):
We don't.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Have we given a title out?

Speaker 1 (04:04):
We haven't. We haven't. We're gonna get into this sure,
Cold Love on a Leash and the poster has a
young girl with her hands clutched to her heart while
a dog wearing a tuxedo has a rose in his
mouth on his hind legs.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Now, the poster would have you think that this is
like an Airbud type movie. It's Airbud and you, honestly,
I was gonna be okay with that. I didn't watch
the trailer yet you sent me the IMDb link. I
saw the poster. I'm like, Okay, it's gonna be stupid.
It's gonna be Airbud. It's gonna be like the Shaggy

(04:41):
Dog meets Airbud. You know, it's gonna be that kind
of ridiculous. And I'm like, okay, I can handle that.
An Airbud movie where a dog falls, it turns into
a guy, turns into a dog at some point, and
she falls in love with a dog. Blah blah blah. Okay,
I get that. It's not that it's not at all.
It's it's worse that it feels like back in two

(05:03):
thousand and eleven or twenty and twelve, I was invited
to be a judge at our local forty eight hour
film festival. Now, I don't know if you're familiar with
the forty eight hour film festival at all. Are you familiar?

Speaker 1 (05:19):
I want to say yes, but refresh me.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Okay, it's you get forty eight hours to produce an
entire movie. It's a short film. It's anywhere from like
five to seven minutes long, and they give you. You
get randomly chosen, You form a team of some sort,
and then you submit your offering. You have forty eight
hours to write, film, edit, and produce, so it's very

(05:46):
short and you literally are working all forty eight hours.
But some of the submissions are terrible. They're very terrible.
The editing is usually not very good, the acting is
worse than good. And they give you a topic and
you have to include a prompt, a line and something

(06:07):
else and it has to be included. But then they
give you stuff like female fem fatale or crime noir
or rom com. Comedy is the hardest to pull off
action sci fi. You just you're randomly given these topics
and stuff. This is what that felt like. But for
an hour and thirty minutes, well, I kept pausing the film.

(06:29):
I'm like, We've got to be almost done with this movie, right,
And I'd pause it and I'd look to see what
the time of sixteen. Well, I'm sixteen minutes into the movie,
and I'm like, there's no way this has to be
almost over fall to sleep and then having to wake
up and rewind it because i was like, oh my god,
I'm just having to do this more and more.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah, this one definitely demands doesn't demand your attention, it
demands that you focus because you get the feeling that
the production didn't really care about stuff, So why should
you as an audience member, if that makes a perfect sense.
So yeah, I get that feeling completely. So just to

(07:11):
give an overview, what we're talking about here is a
young woman who is forlorn because she's looking for a man. Meanwhile,
there's a stray dog, and we come to learn it's
got an internal monologue that we can hear. It is also,
for some reason looking for women. And it's a bit

(07:33):
of a spoiler alert, but at one point we come
to learn there's a man occupying the soul of this
dog who used to be a womanizer, and if he
finds true love, can become a man once again.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
Now it's a classic story.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
This oftentimes will get described as high concept or something
of that sort. The movie makes far less sense than
that bat crap synopsis. I just gave.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah that the way you say it makes sense.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Well, trust me. I had to work on that just
just to cobble together enough of a plot that comes
together in a coherent explanation of things, because the movie
defies that definition of coherence.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
It's edited together like the guy that has never done
it before.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Well, Paul, I've got explanations.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
It's edited terribly.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
There's there's a performer in this movie. His name is
Stephen Kramer Glickman. You may not know him by name,
but he has appeared in a number of prominent productions
that you may or may have seen. I think maybe
Big Time Rush in Nickelodeon boy band series that was
on for about what four years five years. He was

(08:56):
kind of playing the role of their manager. That's kind
of like his big role. He's been in a number
of other things that he played Shrek on Broadway at
one point. He's got a decent enough career. This was
early on in his career. He began more as a
voice actor. He's kind of a portly individual. He was
a larger framed person. And he gave an interview about

(09:22):
this movie, recorded it, and he was all filled with
the making of this film because just to start out,
he was on his way to New York, he was
moving to New York for this Broadway run that he
was on the stage production of Shrek, and he had
done I guess a little bit of bitwork for this movie.

(09:44):
And while he's basically getting on the plane, they were like,
you gotta come in and just cut some adr for us.
You gotta do some audio for a couple of days.
He's like, I'm done. I'm gone, guys, i gotta hit
the road. And I guess he knew somebody in the
production and they basically begged him, please please get if
you can, just whatever you can give us. He's like,
all right, for you, I'll do it, and basically cut

(10:06):
lines on tape for two days. He got paid with
wantons and fruit like cantalopes.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yes, they pay him my homemade wantons and cantalopes.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
So this gives an indication of things. Now, what he
explained was this.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
By the way, if you and I ever do start
like let's say Vodeville's comes back, it starts making a comeback,
you and I will go on the road, and our
name will be wantons and cantalopes. That's gonna be our
billion name.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
That's our that's our improv trooping on opening for Broken
Lizard one.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
But we won't tell people whose wantons and whose candilope,
Like it's a hoodie and the blowfish moment, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
That'll hang over us for the entire of our careers
and it'll be an ever loving mystery that the press
will always stampede towards us to get the answer and
we will never provide it. You're in constant publicity, are you.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
One time candalips that feels racist? Even asked to be honest?

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Exactly? Well, it depends is this an odd number or
an even number?

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Day?

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Because we go back and forth, you see, I'll tell
you which is which. So this was directed, written, produced
by an individual of the name of Fen Tian and
in the production years of California, she was going by

(11:39):
the name Jennifer. But this is a Chinese filmmaker. Can
I say that? I don't know if I can use
that term.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, I don't know. She's done some other stuff. I
don't think any of it was good.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Uh. She was in the cast over that one, that
big Asian film that came out a few years ago,
the big popular.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
One that was Crazy Ritations.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, she was like she played an answer or such
in that she was a part of it. So she's
got some Hollywood connection, I suppose.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
But she wrote this seventy one. When this came out
seventy one, I think she wrote it in her sixties.
Because it didn't get anything. It released in twenty eleven,
but they filmed it like in two thousand and three
or four.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
She originally wrote this in China and had gotten funding
from a church in that country. I guess, and this
is all based on his interview. Glickman's interview that the
storyline that she pitched at the church was one of

(12:42):
a young girl who was going to find love through
some sort of spiritual connection. Like basically God was going
to usher in a way for her to fall in love.
And so I guess they gave her the seed money
and she came to La and began shooting it, and
then presentative from the church came and took a look
at what was happening and saw the script and said,

(13:05):
we're out by We're yanking the money, all of it.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
So I didn't pay anything to watch this movie. I
want my money back. You sound like a church member, Paulow,
So I understand. I've watched church movies. I like some
church movies. Facing the Giants is probably one of my
favorite church movies. Life Proof or Fireproof with Kurt Cameron

(13:29):
shows that church movies have a place in this world
and that there's an audience for everything. This movie doesn't
define it doesn't fall into that definition of any category.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
This movie would make sense if you told me it
was funded by the Moonies.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Dude, there's so much implied beast reality in this thing.
There's no way a church was going to fund this.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
There's a lot of problems with this that a church
would have to be.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
I told you last night, there's more implied beastiality in
this film than Stephen King's Silly Walker.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
This is this thing, holy crap. So just to go
on with it now, Glickman at the time asked after
he cut his lines, he did his lines in two days. Afterwards,
said take my name off of this. Also the editor
of the film, who's a friend of his, I guess,
or somebody he's still in contact with. And after a

(14:21):
while this thing developed, I guess, something of a cult
following in bad movie rom basically our environment. At which
point Glickman was like, Okay, you know what, I'll load it.
I'll be on it. But he would reference his friend
the editor and said I still can't name him because
he's worried this will damage his career.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
He gave back the wantons, that is how how much
he didn't want to be associated with so I'm keeping
the cantalopes because they're gonna go rtten. But you take
these wantons back and he threw them out of angrily.
That's how I picture that that event transpired in my head.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
People demanded their name to be taking this production. That's
how bad this was.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
If I were the two actors, I would take this
film to court and demand I'd be blurred out like
like it was like, look, I was young. I needed
the money at the time. That's why, you know, that's
why I made this film. And I can see the
judge going, well, you know, it's don't be a shame
people are you know, people go and make porn when
they're young all the time. No, sir, this was a

(15:22):
movie about me sleeping with the dog. I understand. Uh.
I find for the plaintiff in this case, remove all
and court costs. You'll have to pick a work court costs.
Can I pay in want times?

Speaker 1 (15:38):
What kind of fruit will the court except? I mean
I just that's all I got is fruit, And they
said too. Now during the shooting, this is the part
I can't make sense. So she did write this in
China when she came to Los Angeles, though she did
not translate her own script. They wade it through a

(15:59):
translation pro and as a result, there's lines in this
movie that have the syntax of foreign language, not American.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
And she wouldn't allow them to change it.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
It wasn't like and Andy said she was dictating how
the actors would say lines like where the inflection points were. Whatever,
you don't do that, that's just no. You get an
actor gets a script and he works on the character
and develops it and comes up with nuances and expressions
and emotions. No, you'll do it my way is basically

(16:32):
what this.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Directors well, no one times for you.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
And and Glickman even said he's like in the first
half of the like they shot it entirely start to
finish and recorded his line.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
Start to finish yeah and sequence yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
So he said that at the start of this thing,
I'm I'm recording like she's telling me to and literally
by halfway through it, it was like, screw it. I'm
just I'm gonna have fun.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
And you can tell too, because it's it's really really bad.
At the beginning, I guess they told him that there
would be music or like some of the stuff that
he would be saying would go to like he's singing
a song, and they'd be music that he'd be singing
to and then none of that got added.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, he had him sing a song without music before
they had the music to put on top of it.
So he's just ad libbing like I'm a dog walking
down the street and my feet are hot because of
my feet on the street, and like he's just it's
can make something up.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
It's like a six year old singing him song as
he's walking around the park. And that's what literally what
it sounds like, sounds like a six year old singing
a song that he's just making up on the fly.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
But this is because these are parts where they didn't
give him a script. They said sing a song here.
He's like about what and like making up? Make a
song up?

Speaker 2 (17:43):
He's like it just says it probably just said in brackets,
dogs sing song and he's like, what do you want
me to say? That's it right there, that's your lines
dog sing song.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
I think there's one where he's walking down the street.
He's like, yeah, I'm a dog and I'm sad. I'm
walking away now because I'm as sad.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
And the best part is what you've just said is
a literal. It's literally from the film, and that is
an edited scene. It's like, hey, I just got sexually
assaulted by my boss. And then it goes literally cuts
to a dog walking down the street and he's going
over dub I'm a dog, singing around, singing a song
I'm a dog and rough dog after dog and then

(18:21):
cut next scene. What what happened? That was five seconds log.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
This thing is it defies explanation, and yet this is
the nature of our show to explain what we see.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
And that's why I say you can't compare it to
The Room or Birdimick because while the Bird Birdmick in
the Room were low qualities of such of such natures
that it you know, it defines cult status. It had
some sort of like plot symmetry to it. Well, those
understood what they were doing. It's all low budget, like

(18:56):
ultra low budget, but you understood the story and where
they were going with The story just wasn't well filmed
or well written, but you understood the concept. This was
the year. It's all over the map.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
Those those are two films where the filmmakers had a vision.
Now granted, technically they had glaucoma from a cinematic standpoint,
but they had a vision and a purpose and a
passion for the movie. This thing. I can't even tell
you what was going on, What was the drive and
motivation behind this, the inspiration? What the hell?

Speaker 2 (19:31):
And it's clear that the actors didn't either, that they
didn't understand you know, you know, I need to always
understand the message that a director or a writer is
trying to convey, but you should at least have some
vague concept of it, and nobody in this movie has
that idea.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
Oh no. Glickman even said as much. He's like, you know,
a lot of times you're shooting at your scenes and
they're either out of sequence or they're not part of
prior scenes. You don't know the full content text, so
you're giving your best, and then you sit down and
watch the finished product and it makes sense. He said
that when this thing was finally cut and released, they
looked at it and nobody understood it and they were
in it. That tells you something right there, what we're

(20:14):
dealing with tonight.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
I mean, so this film, it has a single a
young single girl virgin, a young single version. That's very
clear that they need you to know that she's a
young single version with another young horrse friend. That's very
clear that they wanted to know that she's the whore.

(20:35):
She's the whore. There is a voodoo or Louisiana black
magic grandmother or friend Annie, I don't know what you
call her, she's in it. There's an overbearing mom that
likes to sit in the dark and talk to her
daughter on the phone, which is odd. You've got a

(20:57):
weird I'm trying to think of the characters. You got
this weird boss that tries to somehow rape the young
single protagonist, randomly shows up at her house. You've got
this one weird reoccurring character that turns out that wants
to make a dog commercial, tries on dresses, and then

(21:18):
wants to make a dog commercial. You got a dog
acting talent agent, like it's all all. There would be
a nukelodeon film. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
And then they're Rita, the I guess Russian woman who's
deeply for some reason, the second half of this film
is deeply inserted in the girl's life. We don't know why.
She's a friend of her mother apparently, but she just
acting as a protagonist but doesn't really make anything happen.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
Oh, and don't forget about the mama's boy she's dating,
the gay Asian that she's dating that wants to her
to have a baby, his baby. And the mama's boy
gynecologist mama who wants her to have her too tied
until it's time for babies.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
There's so much that makes no sense. We're just gonna
have to plunge into this.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Somebody agreed to play that role, Brad. Somebody, somebody was
handed a script and said what character am I playing?
And they said, you're going to be playing overbearing Ghana
College of Ghana collegist mother. And they went, yeah, sign
me up, ye put me into that one. There's no dude,
there are.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
No small roles, only small actors.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
There's plenty of that in this film.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
So let's let's begin in silence.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
That's how we should. Hey, you know what, we didn't
open the show without a song.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
It was on purpose, exactly.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
I got your back, Jeff.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
That was we did that in honor of our film.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
I appreciate that, Paul, straight.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Up, buddy.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
We we have a credit sequence and we see this
golden retriever who we have to assume is a stray.
Now I'm gonna call bull crap right there, No way
a Golden Retriever is a stray. People love Golden Retrievers
to the point of, oh my god, how can you
be on the streets? I will die if I don't

(23:16):
adopt you. But and this is an older one, like
ten year olds look like. So it's wandering around and
we see credits, and we see birds in a park
and it wanders around. When I say there's no music,
I don't mean just that it is dead.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Silence, dead side. There's not even well.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
There's the genetic sound effects like I think crowds, traffic,
anything of the sort.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
So I think I figured out why because as I'm
doing the research, I'm watching the movie and I'm doing
some research on IMDb, and I find out that they
removed it because they didn't have the rights from the
from the composer and they didn't want to go like
get into that legally, so they just removed the music.
I think what they did is just a straight up mute.
I don't think they went through the process of removing
all of the music, you like, just from that channel.

(24:01):
They just somebody just straight up hit the mute. Button
while they were while they were re recording the show,
and that's what they did well because there's later parts
where you can hear background sound effects but there's no music.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Yeah, occasionally that does happen, but and that's probably where
they were going to do a musical overlay here. I
think that was just strictly soundtrack without sound effects. So
it was probably turn the mics off on the camera,
we're gonna be playing music here. Oops, we don't have
the rights to it. So literally it is about ninety
seconds or two minutes of dead silence and a dog

(24:35):
walking around a park.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
The opening scene is as confusing as the closing marriage scene,
where there it's like it's supposed to be this big
sanctimonious moment and you know, celebratory moment, and there's nothing.
It's just there's like fireworks, there's no sounds. Yeah, I'm
it's like Helen Keller was watching this movie.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
It's gonna seem like we don't know what we're talking
about tonight. I'm just gonna say that right now. Let
me assure you folks, let me just come on and
calm me down. We have no idea what's going on tonight.
Watch this movie twice I did I have I have
zero cons All I can tell you is stuff happened.

(25:16):
Why it doesn't really matter tonight. There's a dog and
we soon learn that he has an internal monologue. This
would be mister glickman. And every so often, now it
doesn't make any sense or help us out that we
know the dog is talking because he says a bunch
of random crap. And one thing he does say is girls.

(25:39):
I need to find a girl. There's a girl. I'm
gonna go to the girl. Why is this girl with
this guy? I don't like you guy? And what is this?
Is the dog of purv what's going on?

Speaker 2 (25:51):
At some point he goes, hey, I'm not gay man
like that is the lie.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
He sits down on the grass and a guy comes
over and pets him on the back, and that's what
he says.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
I'm a gay man.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
And then there's of course, now there's a lake. There's
some rocks, and he climbs up on the rocks and
in the rocks there's a little pond. This is a
magical pond. We come to learn. Okay, it's what makes
it magical pole.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
That it's got dry ice, it's got pixie dust coming
out of it.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
They dump dried ice in this pond and then animated
fairy glitter on screen with it. Because the pond starts
talking to the dog, the dog that we can hear speak.
We now hear a pond speak. This is our movie.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Like what if this dude wasn't a Golden Retriever? What
if he was like a Chihuahala or like the ugliest
dog in the world, like from Deadpool. You know what
I'm saying, Like, what did this do? Was like a
Bassett Hound with big old floppy ears, or a Saint Bernard,
something like a marm or dude, great dame, just some

(27:12):
some massive dog that nobody wants to, like some great
dang that.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
Means or you know, Saint Bernard. I don't know. It's
a Golden Retriever. Now, he doesn't really emote much. There's
not a lot of personality. I mean, he looks happy enough,
and he acts around and picks things up in his
mouth on cue, so good job, but he's not really
like a vibrant dog that you attached to. Oh my, oh,
don't do what a log of it? She's like dog
the dog through the pond we come to learn that

(27:40):
it's the dog is populated by a male one who
presumably passed away, but in his past life was a womanizer,
and as punishment for that, he's now a dog and
will remain a dog until he finds true love.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
And you know, with a human it's like Beauty and
the Beast, and he's the beast, I guess is the story.
He's got to find true love. But why didn't he
walk around like would like a Snoop Dogg's voice, be
like where all the bitches at? That would have been
so much better where all the bitches at?

Speaker 1 (28:21):
Oh? Trust me, there's so much more creativity that could
have been larded onto this film. And I mean with
a snowshovel, because this thing is absent of it.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
So you know, it's funny. I don't know if you
read this part of it or he talks about it
in the video, but I read about it. They filmed
everything without a permit, and it's not sad. This is
not a SAG related filming. In fact, one of the
actors that's in it, I think he's the Asian fella.

(28:52):
He ended up having to have his name taken off
of it, and it might have been him, might be
somebody doing No, it's a guy who played Jake. I
think somebody that plays one of the characters in the
in the movie. Had to have his name removed from
the credits, uh, because he joined SAG after he filmed
it and could not be could not receive payment or
credit for the film after he had joined SAG because

(29:14):
he made a pre SAG and they didn't have permits
to film anywhere in Los Angeles, so they were they
were like rebel or what they call it. It's not
rebel filming. What do they call that thing?

Speaker 1 (29:27):
Renegade?

Speaker 2 (29:29):
You know, they were just filming on the fly, and
so that pond scene, they're just there's people in the background.
Those are just real people that had no idea there
was a film production going on. Oh yeah, they would
film all the scenes in the she works as a
dress stylist or something for a dress shop. They filmed
all those scenes in a dress shop that had no

(29:50):
idea the dress the dress shop, I had no idea
they were filming. And then when they found out they
were filming, they'd told them to leave and they'd wait
for the people to go out, and then they'd come
back in and finish filming their scenes.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
This I didn't know because they spend a lot of
time in that store.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Oh, they spent a lot of time. It's multiple stores,
because remember she gets fired from the first store, and
like the I think the first one was filmed like
it's some department store, and the seconde filmed at some
random dress shop in Los Angeles and nobody had any
idea until they found out they try to boot them.
I'm like, that's it's kind of amazing that the actors
agreed to do that, Like you do not invested in
the project, Like I'm sorry, I don't need to go

(30:27):
in here and pretend you just when you get the
permit and you let me know, we'll go here and
film these scenes.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Well, while our horned dog is running around the park,
there are two girls sun bathing in the park and
one of them is named Lisa. She becomes our lead
and her friend, who's I guess the newvitle whore is,

(30:55):
you know, noticing a couple of guys and wanting to
hit on them, and Lisa's like, oh my gosh, no
stop it quite it shot stop. And then our hero
the dog shows up and they start gushing over him. Doggie,
and now the dog he's going to be named prince

(31:17):
by her. But she says, oh my gosh, what is
your name? And he says Alvin Flang.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Alan Flang.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
She says, well, all right, I guess I'm just gonna
call you Prince. He's like, no, I'm Alvin Flank. The
dog is gonna argue with her with this ridiculous name
that he just made up on the fly, and he
has to suck it up and he has to become prince.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
Did you notice how badly she's a dress stylist in
this film? Did you know how she is dressed the
whole film, her and her friend like nobody is and
this thing this movie had a set coordinator. There was
somebody to put like it got credit for putting this
stuff together.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Well, there's a reason for that, Paul. As far as
Lisa's wardrobe.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Is concerned, it doesn't fitter.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
She always always has to wear green. Her car is green,
Her apartment, when I say green, every room is painted green.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
Have you seen that Pop Secret commercial that's running around
now with the They played on twob when I was
watching it, and it's the girls sitting there eating a
bag of Pop Secret painting a vase blue and they're like,
this is so good, I could I could get carried away.
And then they walk back into the whole room is
painted blue because they didn't know when to stop. Oh yeah,
that's what this movie reminded me of. Was that commercial.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
So the thing is she she needed to be adorned
in green, so they're probably limited on what they could
afford to put on her. So her fashions are all secondhand,
you could tell just out of style. No, pretty much. No,
but I mean like her bathing suit, her dresses, any
casual clothing. Everything is green. Did you hear Why? No,

(33:12):
It's it's symbolism, Paul for money, because in China, apparently
the color green is a sign of sexual proclivity. What
it Yeah, like green is a ryebald color. I guess

(33:34):
it symbolizes sexual desire.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
But this doesn't make sense nothing about Look, do you
know who did this movie? You know who the costume
design was? No, Glenda Maddox. She's a five time Ammy winning,
seven time nominated costume designer for the For the Bold
and the Beautiful. She's got like a legitimate pedigree.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
I guess she learned how not to do it.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
In they just said, hey, whatever you think you can do, well,
don't do it for this movie.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
Or and this is just me guessing it would be
they would go to her and say, do you have
any clothes left over from prior productions.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
And it'll just make sure they don't fit.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Doesn't matter if they fit, and if they're green, super,
But the most important thing is free. That's what kind
of strikes me on this. But yeah, this was the
reason for all of the green is that it's a
symbolism of sexual desire in China. This is again, I'll
remind you of a movie initially pitched to a church.

(34:43):
So she has ryebald sexual feelings and she's gonna fall
in love with a dog. Why would a church run
away from that concept?

Speaker 2 (34:54):
And it feels like it's pretty churchy to me.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
I mean, right out of the old test. The minute
it seems like, I mean, come on, but okay, movie,
this is what we're doing. Well, let's let's do it.
I suppose. So she doesn't initially really fall in love
with the dog. It's not like, oh my god, you're
so adorable, I gotta take you home. It's more like

(35:19):
the dog's a bother.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
She said dog. The dog is a sexual predator.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yes, he's like all over her and the girl. Lisa
really doesn't want much to do with him. If anything,
it's kind of like, go, I'm done.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
Like he fakes then he then he like follows he
is he's a sexual predator. He follows her around. He's
a stalk. He's like a dog stalker. He follows her
to the gas station and like what does he pretend
to be dirty? He rolls around in the dirt and
mud or some nonsense for her to pick, for her
to like take him home. She just puts him at

(35:55):
the car.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
I guess, yeah. He kind of scams his way into
her life.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
She just.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Kind of kind of has a dog forced on her
by the dog, is what it comes down to. So, okay,
now this is a thing there together, and so she's
accepted that. She goes to like a secondhand thrift store.
It looks like her sudden and there's people, there's a pile.

(36:30):
I have no idea about this scene. This entire scene
is batcrap crazy. She's in the store.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
It is not like I'm gonna tell you right now,
it's not It's not as crazy as you think. Like
I knew you were going to think this part of it.
Let me explain to you what's happening here.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
Well, let let me lay out the scene, and then
you correct me on this. So she's in the store
and there's a pile of clothes on the floor. People
are picking through the clothing. The dog comes in the
store with her. He starts to know around in the
clothing and comes up with something in his mouth, some

(37:04):
god awful print dress, I think, and she's like, what
are you doing now? And he's like, you'll look good
in this, and she's like, oh, what do you think
I'll look good in this? And then everybody, the owner
is like, get this dog. If he rips it up,
you're paying for it. He's an immigrant store owner looks
Haitian and.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
I'm the captain now.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
And so the dog picks out this dress. She falls
in love with it, and there's a guy in the
store in a suit and he is deeply impressed with
the dog, is like, I need this dog. He needs
to be in one of my productions. He's amazing, and
they just leave.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Well, she figures out and I'll explain what would happen here.
I'll explain how it happens in real life in a second,
but before we get to the scene, she takes him
home from the gas station and then she gets asked
out on a date from the gay Asian from work
and she decides, you know, she's trying to pick out
what she's gonna wear, and uh, the dog picks out

(38:01):
her outfit at the house. Of course, he picks out
green and green dog, and she's like, the dog could
see color. He's like, I can see everything, or some
stupid line like that. And then later they're like wandering
looking at looking at stuff on the street and she
sees this secondhand thrift store kind of deal and it's
just like a vintage secondhand clothing store. There's a lot

(38:23):
of them in LA They're like everywhere. Well, that is
not an uncommon practice to put everything into a pile
and say whatever you get out of the pile, everything
is two or three dollars or whatever they're going to
charge for it. And that's an actual thing that people
do to get rid of like a lot of stuff,
so you don't remember what you're going to find in there.

(38:44):
You can find some designer stuff, you could find some
offhand stuff, some fake stuff, but she's always you just
reach in. It's like a by the pound kind of deal.
They do it at the flea market here in Jacksonville.
There's a flea market here in Jacksonville, and they toss
everything onto a giant tarp on the ground, and then
there's this lay. There's this lady and she's she's I
think she's Asian, so that maybe it relates back to that,

(39:07):
but or Jamaican. And she's just like two dollars, three dollars,
two dollars, three dollars, get one thing for one thing
for two dollars three two things for three dollars, and
literally that's all she says. She's got a sign and
that's all. I wish I had a picture of it.
And there's people just rooting through it like pig looking
for truffles the whole time. That's an actual thing that occurs. Okay,

(39:31):
that's probably the most realistic part of this movie.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
I'm I really don't feel enlightened a bit.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Well, you're educated. Whether you're enlightened or not is different.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
Okay, so this scene happened, but I'm really more focused
on the closing of the scene where this guy was
deeply just impressed. Oh, there's dog rooted in a pile
of clothes and came up with something. I need him
to work for me. And the girl doesn't even look
at him.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
She looks and waves him off. She goes, we're not interested,
thank you, Like he's a homeless guy approaching her.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
Yeah, but I mean that's it, Like, doesn't listen to
what he's saying. It's like, be gone, I've got better
things to do with my two dollars dress that my
dog just picked out. Excuse me, sir.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
And everybody's clapping and cheering for the dog and because
he picked something off the ground.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
Yeah. So then we we have the scene with her
coworker where he hits on her in the store and
like we should go out sometime, we should date, we
should do and she's like okay, And then they go
on a date and he says, I'm sorry, I'm gay,
like pointless much. Well, no, he apparently wants a kid.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Well they said they And that whole scene without music
is so funny. When they're out there having dinner, it's
just it's like somebody's we're filming them from the bushes
with a with an iPhone. And then uploading it to TikTok,
Like that's what it felt like with no background music,
it just felt like somebody's stalking it while you're watching
them eat dinner on this date and she just asked

(41:04):
he asked her to go on a date. It was
a little until little bit later we find out but
she's dating two men. Remember this other weirdo shows up,
Jake State Farm shows up.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Yeah, the guy that comes in the store, and he
is possibly the well I can't even say the worst
pick online, but he clearly has a thing for He's like,
I gotta get a jest for my for for my wife.
That's what i'd need. And she's like, well, what size
is he? Whatever size you are, what's your favorite color,
whatever size you like, but whatever you need. Yeah, it's annoying,

(41:38):
is pissed.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
It's it's creepy, like it's like he gives he's given
off creeper vibes like the whole time. Like this dude
is not playing this character well at all he's supposed
to be. I think playing him very shy and doesn't
know how to approach women because it's an overbearing mom
as we find out later, So that part of it
kind of makes sense on the character, but bro, he
is creeper vibes.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Yeah, this this was unsettling. And then there's a scene
where the woman trying to get addressed that doesn't fit
her and Lisa's like, well, it'snight your size. She screeches
for the manager. The manager comes over and he's leering
on Lisa like basically feeling her up. And then he's like,
I'll help you, ma'am. And I'm still trying to figure

(42:26):
out what the hell makes sense, because nothing does.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Well. Remember when the boss comes over and says, hey,
you've got a spider in your back, and then he like, yeah,
take us down, you know the You know, the best
part about that is is the store manager and that
the overbearing customer lady. They're married in real life.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
Wow you really you really saw their chemistry leaping off
the screen too, didn't you?

Speaker 2 (42:49):
Oh yeah? Oh yeah, Like I said, there's there's this
thing has It could have been a much better comedy
if they had done it Nickelodeon style the whole way.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Now, was she the same woman from the pet agency?

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Yes, okay, she's wearing the same dress. I'm sure they
filmed that scene in the same day.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
I'm trying to put it together. It's like, I think
that's her. But there's so many Dutch angles in this
movie that make no sense too. Like their whole scene
in the store, the camera's on the ground.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Yeah, or filming from like behind and like cloth.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
She's trying to fit into this dress and they don't
was there a fish eye lends because this woman's ass
looked to be about three and a half feet wide.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Well, you know what, You know what, now that we
know that they didn't have permission to be in the store,
it kind of the angles make more sense because they
were trying to do this stuff incognito. It just look weird,
right right. They're just like, hey, I'm gonna film down
here to just film from here so people don't see.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
Us, got it. So this wasn't an artistic choice, but
a desperate one.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Choices for the necessity.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Okay, so yes, we're gonna shoot this rogue. I mean
this is stylish, oh man? Yeah? So yeah, there's this guy,
and then there's the Chinese guy that wants a kid,
And all the while, Lisa's on the phone with her mom,
who's basically berating her that she has to get a guy,

(44:15):
you need a man in your life. When are you
gonna get a man? Right?

Speaker 2 (44:19):
And she's not even that old.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
No, she looks like she's twenty one.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
Maybe, Well, she's my age. She was born in seventy four.
So this movie was filmed in what two thousand and nine,
so she's been thirty five. Really, Yeah, it took him
about to release it. She's my age.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
She looked like she was like nineteen.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
Yeah, she looks super young in this thing because it
was shot in two thousand and six and the two
lead actors had met on a prior movie in two
thousand and eight, is that what it was? Though they
had met somewhere else, or maybe they met on this film.

(45:02):
They're married. The two lead characters are.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
Married after this film. They stopped acting and they got married,
had a kid.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
Yeah, and she's like a producer or something or manages.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
So I'm gonna say probably solid professional choices made. They're
just based on what we see on screen. But yeah,
so she's going through these things, all these travails of
dating life. I think they're so poorly rendered, and you
don't really care then one day and now all the

(45:35):
while the dog is in her life. Now and he's
having his internal monologue. And there's so many random scenes
of the dog, like they're doing something and we'd see
the dog on some concrete steps in the middle of
the day for like three seconds, and then they cut
back to a scene that they're doing you know why,
and then he's like in the middle of a park
and playing with a butterfly or something for a few seconds,

(45:57):
and then they cut back.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
You know why. Because apparently it was super hot while
they were filming this, and it was like a heat
wave in La so they can only film for a
certain like a short period of time outside because of
how hot it was, and the dogs would overheat. So
they had two dogs and they would have to just
use They just created b roll for the dogs at
random times so they can just insert it not knowing

(46:19):
what the dog was going to be doing.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Okay, but maybe inserted in a fashion that has a purpose.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
No, no, that's not how this movie.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Works, because like we'll see her talking with her friend
and then there's the dog on top of these concrete
steps behind us storefront or something, and he just looks
around and he's like, man, uh oh, there's a dizzy outside.
Back to the girls the hell just happened.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
Also, here's another fun fact. I love it, you know,
you know I like to dig my fun facts. The
two actors who played the store manager and the overbearing customer,
who were married in real life, were also the dog
trainers for this film. That's a triple credit right there.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
Yeah, so they probably had a whole week's worth of
one times.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
They ain't nothing but one time.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Nice. Yeah, we're set for a week. Man, We're not
going to any restaurants, that's for sure. Speaking of the
store manager, for no discernible reason, he shows up at
Leasta's door, comes in her home, and starts to accost her.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
Oh, he doesn't just show up at the door. Did
you watch that whole scene?

Speaker 1 (47:29):
I want to say yes, but I don't think I did.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
The whole scene is just weird. So she's in her
little apartment and either it's either her friend comes over
or that weird lady, the weird Russian lady voodoo person
comes in and she just leaves. And when she after
she leaves, the manager is standing in the doorway like

(47:53):
he's just there. He just comes in, like he doesn't lie,
like you don't see him anywhere else. Is like she exits,
and he immediately walks in, walks in the camera scene.
You're like, how did you even get in frame? Where
did you cover? How does the other way to see you?
And then he just starts like to sexually assault her.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Yeah, he comes in and starts pawing her and getting
all over her on the sofa.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
My wife doesn't love me. We don't. We don't do
anything physically anymore.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
She just do it for me, which entitles me to rape. Apparently.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
I love you so much, Lisa. You pick up the
best dresses.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Nobody fools t shirts like you, and it's so hot.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
You're the best.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
Well, thankfully, our dog, Prince Fang Fang Alvin flank Prince
sees what's happening, and he takes action and chases off
the intruder sort of. The dog basically jumps on the
sofa with the trainer when we learn, and he waves

(48:59):
a pillow around and we shake the camera because it's
an attack. Paul. The dog is attacking him. I swear
that's what's happening.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Though you can't look like they're playing.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
I know he probably put Baco's in his shirt pocket
and you can't have it. No, you can't have it,
and so she's depressed. She's upset and tries to kill herself.
The dog.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Meanwhile, she's later crying. Yeah, it's supposed to be a
serious scene, like maybe the music is missing from it
and that would help, But it's supposed to be the
super serious scene. And then tell them what the dog does.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Dog goes outside and starts singing.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
He starts singing a song where she's there. I'm a dog.
I'm super grateful to be a dog.

Speaker 1 (49:53):
Happen here to happen there.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
We're walking around. It's a dog outside. Look at the butterflies.
I'm here. She's crying. He just fought off an attacker.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
He's like, I'm super I just saw my owner almost
get raped. Mail assault is such a happy thing. I'm
in the street and I'm wagging my tabe.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
Guy.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
That guy almost got him some tale.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
It's so weird And and the reason the dog tries
to protect her is not because he cares for her,
is because he doesn't want the guy having sex with
her before he does.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
He's jealous.

Speaker 2 (50:26):
That's literally what he says. Hey, this is my house.
I'm the husband here. And this movie is super super
focused on on her having a husband, whether it's whether
it's the gay Asian offering to mar like trying to
get he proposes to her, the uh, the gynecologist, overbearing

(50:47):
mother wanting to get her tubes tied before she gets married,
the mom who's trying to get her to date as
many minutes as possible and pour herself out to get married,
the the uh, the black friend who keeps telling her
that you know you're a virgin I say, or whatever,
and then the dog constantly saying I want to be
your husband. I'm your husband. They are trying to just

(51:10):
is that how it is in China? Like I immediately
I don't know enough about Chinese culture, but maybe that's
part of it.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
Is that a thing I'm thinking? And again pure speculation,
because again nothing makes sense in this movie. I'm thinking
this might have been a leftover from the original pitch
to the church, like that was like, we're going to
use spirituality for her to find a man in their
quest for a husband. I think it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
It's the one completely underlying tone that stretches out the
whole film. Everything else is disjointed and doesn't have any consistency.
This is the one thing that's consistent across the whole movie.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
If there's a message to be learned from this, Usa
has zero value in life because she has no husband.
It's pretty much what it comes down to.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
Well, ye know, honestly, that's true.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
You don't have a husband.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
You suck. Yeah. So I've heard you say it before, Brad.
I've heard you say this before. We've talked, and I
don't know if I necessarily agree, But you've said prior
in past shows that women have no value unless they
have a husband. I've heard you say that. I don't
know that to be true. It's possible that Liezel just
threw something from Texas and Cape Coral area.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
And any ladies listening, you can address your email to
moving Paul at gmail dot com. Take all the complaints
about me and send it to that address.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
Please. My wife is currently hitting me with objects in
the room.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
Thank her for me after the show. So at this point,
our happy little movie sees Lisa go in the bathroom
and attempt to commit suicide because of course that's what
we're gonna do here. The dog now sees this take
place and decides to take action. He manages to get

(53:08):
outside and his plan is to lay in the middle
of the street, nearly gets creamed by a car but doesn't,
and in a very hastily edited scene, a guy gets
out of his car and like walks up to the
dog and in a flash at it. They're walking up

(53:29):
the steps to her apartment, so apparently it worked, and
then he gets in and he saves her life. And
the next scene, she shows back up at the green house.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
In her green dress just.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
Like Prince, I'm home. I'm back, and like.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
In her and her non fitting green underwear.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
So I guess they fixed you, is that? I mean?
The guy's like, I'm starting to pick her up. I'm
gonna tell to the hospital, I'm assuming, and literally the
next scene, she's like happy.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
No, they go to the hospital and they won't let
the dog in. He's like, I'm a dog, you should
let me in the hospital.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
I'm just and yeah, that and that is it. I mean,
they we don't see it.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
And she walks home in the rain.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Yeah, So he's he's outside and sad now because she's alive,
and she walks out. She's like, well, I gotta go
find Prince, and she opens an umbrella blows out of
her hand and She's like, whatever, screw you, umbrella, and
I love all the scenes of rain because you could
clearly see their sprinklers. Oh yeah, and like it's back

(54:45):
and it's like you could see the rain. The water
of droplets are arcing because they come from the side.
That's rain, all right, That's what that is. It's raining.
So she gives up a you'll find him. This sucks,
and then he comes trotting up, singing, I'm a dog.
It's writing. How you doing, Lisa, feeling better? I'm so

(55:06):
happy you're back.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Like this felt like they were trying to make some
sort of scene from the Notebook with Ryan Goslin and
Rachel McAdams with all that rain in her, but like
like that was a deliberate thing they were trying to do,
and then they didn't follow through with any part of it.
They only copied the rain. It coty anything else in

(55:28):
the film other than the rain.

Speaker 1 (55:30):
Pretty much a theme of this entire movie. They didn't
follow through with it. Anything, plots, story, you name it. Nothing.
So she's hugging him and kissing him and all this
stuff and says, I I'm done with men. I only
love you, Prince. You're the best I love you so much.

(55:52):
Cue the enimated pixie Dust. And now she's got her
arms wrapped around a studley guy with no clothes on,
and what happened I don't know. I don't understand. And
she then faints on her feet, like she literally just

(56:13):
goes and doesn't collapse. She's still standing and he's like,
but Lisa, I'm prince, I'm your dog. This is what
the movie is doing to us. The movie has these
are the lines. This is what we're watching, a guy
telling her, I'm your dog. I'm I'm really at a

(56:36):
point of loving this movie beyond comparison. And so what
do you do in an instance like this, Paul, when
things in your life suddenly just go topsy turvy, you
have no concept of what's reality anymore? What do you do? Naturally,
you go back to your man dog. Obviously, well that's later.

(56:59):
First you got to go back to your magic pond.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Magic pond.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
Yes, So the dog goes up on the rocks and
looks at the bond, and then the pond explains to
the dog that you only become a man at night.
The purpose of this, the concept behind it, the rationale
for this occurrence is never really explained outside of the

(57:26):
fact that it happens. So you're a dog in the daytime,
you're a man at night. It never happened before, but
now it's happening.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
So how does a nighttime daytime thing work too? Like?
Is daylight savings play a factor? Is he's you know,
during the first six months of the year, he turns
into a he turns into a man around five o'clock
in the afternoon, but like you know, as we get
into the summer months, he doesn't become a man until

(57:59):
about eight thirty or nine. Is that well?

Speaker 1 (58:02):
I understand you know, some of your curiosity about this, Paul,
because the movie has no idea what the hell it's
doing with this purpose that it introduced to us. For instance,
there's a scene later where she goes to the window
and is like, hey, uh, Prince, but he's a guy.
He's like, didn't it say if it's cloudy outside, then
it's not light enough and you'll be a dog again,

(58:25):
like a werewolf. And then he's like, yeah, so now
she's hatching a plan that he could be I'm sorry,
he's inside, there's no sunlight, he's blocked. Why isn't he
a dog now? If the clouds are gonna make him,
wouldn't being indoors do that? Then?

Speaker 2 (58:43):
What if they what if they were in Alaska or
parts of the Antarctic where you know, you get thirty
was it thirty days of daylight?

Speaker 1 (58:53):
Right?

Speaker 2 (58:53):
Without four hours? Yeah? What is that? What was that
movie with Josh Hardett that they did thirty Day Night?

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Oh? Maybe? Yeah, I mean you could do that then,
but then, of course at the end of it, you
would have to get on a plane then and go
to the South Pole because then that occurs down there.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
I mean, if they really wanted to truly be happy,
they would go somewhere where he could remain a man
for thirty days at a time.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
That's gonna take a lot more effort than went into
making this film.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
I'm just saying I've solved their problem. If anybody had asked.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
You, you have not, Paul, because this movie has no
shortage of problems that need solving. So there's another scene
later where he he runs into a restaurant the man
and picks up a phone and calls somebody. But it's
the middle of the day. Well wait a second, hang on,
it's light outside.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
But yeah, exactly, It's like in the middle of the day.
But in this portion, for some reason, the dog now
has the motivation. Prince as a man now has the
motivation to support or his wife. They have photo a
photo album that they take pictures of, like they got married.
Who's holding that camera and taking the photo? And who

(01:00:09):
got married at nighttime? You know? Who allowed them to
get married at night inside of her own apartment, Like
they didn't go to the courthouse to sign sign the paperwork.
I don't even know how that worked. And he wants
to support her because he's the husband, and I don't
have any means of supporting you to buy you things
like this dress that they see in the shop when

(01:00:31):
she takes him shopping during the day. They try to
go to an art an art market, and he can't
come in because he's a dog. They're going on dates,
she said, like a picnic, feeding him like proper, what
was it?

Speaker 1 (01:00:43):
What you say?

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
I'm feeding him chopped liver or some stupid by all
the best stuff buy the leash.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
And like the second half of this movie, and I'm
wondering if this is the actress getting fed up. She
was really kind of pissed off and cranky a lot
of the time. She was like, don't even I'm just
so bothered right now. I wish you're a man. Whatever,
let me alone. The dogs just sitting here. He's not
even bugging you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
If they'd replaced the dog with a furry, she's she's
a woman that falls in love with a furry, and
we can at least see some people she'd emote with
a character.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
And then we have, for some reason, ducks.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
There are a lot of ducks in this Mane.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
In the second the director used a scene of ducks
in the water just swimming together, one white one, one
mallard swimming together as an interstitial throughout this movie, it's
just you'll see two ducks and you're like, Okay, there's
a new scene coming. I guess, bamn new scene.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Well, in the Chinese culture, ducks represent financial growth, but
I don't know that to be true.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
I'm just gonna say they needed a hell of a
lot more ducks. They needed a damn flock for this movie.
Geez all right, well, hang on, what I gotta check
on something? Did we get did when he was when
the dog turned into a human? Did he still go
by the name of Prince?

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
Yeah? Yeah, he was. He was his name was Prince.
Just he only called himself Alvin as a dog. He
never called himself Alvin as a man.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
And see this is something and that to kind of
explained my glickman too, because he said, when I'm doing
my audio tracks, you know, they were just telling me
what he said. I had no frame of reference. So
me as the dog, I don't sound or say anything
similar to the actor as a man. It's like it's

(01:02:51):
two distinct personalities going on. And you see this clearly.
So yeah, the the human in prints, I have to
say this now decides he's going to get a job
and support his wife. I love this so much. This
is this is probably as emblematic of how batcrap nuts

(01:03:15):
this movie is human. Prince wants to support Lisa by
getting a job as the dog.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Yeah, because he can't get a night job. I work nights.
I should be a dog during the day. You have
no idea. We have a dog during the day, Brad,
and then at night I just become active and I
can go. I can actually go to work. I get
off before before the sun comes up.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Can you operate a mouse with a paw? Is that possible?
Because then you can get double.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
Time you can. I mean, I'm sure Ada has a
compliability act for that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Yeah, So getting a night job, you know, graveyard shift
that businesses love to fill because nobody wants to work
them not an option. I'm going to get a job
as a dog. What's his idea? Well, apparently Lisa's saved
the business card from the agent at the thrift store
and Lisa's stores all business card given to her by

(01:04:08):
strangers in the bottom drawer of her green cabinet, and
he finds it, and then the next day they're at
the restaurant during the day and male human prince is
on the phone at the restaurant calling the agency and saying,
I got the dog for you. He's gonna show up. Now.

(01:04:32):
We saw this scene earlier outside the agency where the
woman from the store and the agent are going through
photographs and she's getting angrier with each doggie show. Instead
of saying well nah, she's like I hate him. Hey
sucks this one. I'll ever sell crap. This is the
angry at this woman is looking at dog pictures. And

(01:04:55):
then he says, I know the perfect dog. I just
don't know where he is. Well, good thing for this
guy's career. The perfect dog called him, I'm gonna see
you the next day. I'm gonna show up, and they
bring him into the office and this this was his audition.
They have them, the dogs seated next to a table

(01:05:19):
and she gives them directions on what phone to pick
up with his mouth.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
But well, because it's not that hard to pick up
a telephone when you super glue a giant raw hide
bone to the handle. The handset had a giant raw
hide bone on it. Did you notice that?

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
Well, yeah, there you go. It's called motivation for pick
up the.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
Red phone, pick up the Indigo phone. And the dog says,
what was the line? Do you know the line pick
up the Indigo phone? And he picks he picks it up,
and you don't see the dog actually pick the phone up.
It just it custed them saying pick up the phone.
Next cut, he has the phone in his mouth and
they're all impressed. And the dog says, who the hell
calls it indigo?

Speaker 1 (01:06:02):
And I think that's Glickman at that point, saying screw it,
I'm just gonna have fun.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
It's one of the best lines. Did you know that
They hired some writers from Seinfeld to write lines for
the Dog. No, yep. They hired a couple of writers
from Seinfeld to write lines for the Dog. They presented
them to te On and she hated all of them
and then rewrote them. She took the Emmy winning comedy

(01:06:30):
series Seinfeld produced lines for this movie, and she thought
they were unfunny, scrapped them all and wrote the lines
I'm a happy dog and where All the women at.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
Fortnite loved about this scene, though, is the agent and
his boss are right next to each other, four feet
away from the dog. He had to tell the agent,
now pick up the red phone. And then she would
say to the dog right in front of them, pick
up the red phone. Now tell them to pick up
the Indigo phone. Now pick up the Indigo phone. What

(01:07:07):
is going on? She says exactly the same thing. But
the dog wouldn't understand coming from the agent, but from
her he does.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
Well, because she's the trainer. She was the trainer on
this movie. In real life, she's the dog trainer. So
he's probably only only obeying her commands.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
But we didn't even see him obeya like you said.
It was like she says it, and then cut to
the dog and it's in his mouth already. Oh. I
love this movie so much.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
Oh, I'm glad you do. But I'm gonna try to
find the novelization of this thing, and you're gonna get
it for Christmas.

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
I don't really collect pamphlets.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
I know you're gonna. I'm gonna find the original script
for this movie. If I have to find tea on
herself or the priest, I'm gonna find this script and
I'm gonna get it signed by the priest or her church.
They gave her fifty grand to do it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:59):
This is this movie defies so much and I love
it for it. So he so he gets the job,
and a day or so later, she's Lisa's watching television

(01:08:19):
and he goes up. He's like, oh, oh, you can't
watch that, And he goes up and turns the TV off.
As a dog, she goes and turns it back on.
Then she moves close to the TV so he can't
turn it off again. And it's a ninja dog commercial
that comes on. It's a ninja doing some stuff and
then pours dog food in a dish and chops it up,

(01:08:41):
and our hero Prince comes walking up and eats out
of the bowl, and she's it takes her like five takes.
She's like, looks at him, looks at the TV, look
at him, Look is is that is that you?

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
And he says, it's a dog. Great. Now she knows
I'm a crime fighting ninja or a ninja fighting dog.
That's the lie. Now she knows I'm a ninja fighting
dog and it's a dog. What was the name with
the dog food?

Speaker 1 (01:09:14):
It was like sister something that wasn't it like Sister's
food for dogs. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
It's a Chinese name for dog food.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
Yeah, it was like and And the graphics on screen
were such you could barely even read them.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
It was weird.

Speaker 1 (01:09:29):
But then, after trying to hide this as a secret,
which made no sense because previously he told her he
wanted to get a job and support her, he's like, okay,
i'll show you now. He goes out of the room
and he comes back with like a cigarette case that
has bones printed on it, and she opens it up
and there's cash.

Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
Yeah, he brings it out with just wads of hundreds.
That's how he got paid.

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
This means a film production paid the dog. They gave
the dog the money. Great job, Prince, here you go.
I had to stop the movie at this point and

(01:10:16):
just peace around the house for about sixty seconds and
just absorbed this that they shot a commercial with the dog.
That's a wrap, folks say, Prince, good job. Here you go, pal,
don't spend it all in one place, you know what
I'm saying. Go easy under Chewie and we'll see it
for the next show. I love you, kid. They paid
the dog, the dog made money and took money home.

(01:10:39):
I mean, how do you not love this movie? But
this is also I'm gonna say the high point of
the film, because from this point on it just becomes
insufferable and then oppressively depressing.

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
It says it's called China Dog Girlfood. I just scrolled
through it to fight it China Girl dog food, and
it is a cutting board with a It's a cutting
board with hot dogs on it. It's just hot dogs.
This is a bunch of hot dogs cutting the pieces
like they were making mac and cheese. It's called China
Girl dog food.

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Perfect food for your pet. We promised it's not hot dogs.
This is perfect. So from this point forward, it is
pretty much a case of Lisa becoming berated by everybody
in her life about getting a man. Her mother shows

(01:11:42):
up after we've heard her on the phone for so long,
we finally meet her. That's not pleasant. She's not a
pleasant woman. She's just surly as can be. Damnit, Lee, somebody,
you're gonna get married. You gotta get a man. Here's
a man, Go give me a man. Her mom's friend, Rita,
takes her out someplace and she basically gets assaulted on

(01:12:03):
a dance floor because it turns out Rita paid five
different guys yes to meet her. I mean, like, this
is hardcore pimping going on.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
Oh my gosh, you know, I just realized something. As
I'm posting this image of the China Girl dog food,
I realized this is a Chinese it's called China Girl,
and he's fighting the Japanese ninja. The Asian doesn't even
have his right Asian set together.

Speaker 1 (01:12:34):
So, yes, a movie made by a China woman. Chinese woman,
which one is not offensive, I'm not even sure, but
something and she has yeah, Japanese ninja for a Chinese
dog food? That's racist?

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
What? What? What just happened there? How did we not
catch that the first time? Until just now?

Speaker 1 (01:12:58):
I'm well I'm not a prized on Asian studies maybe,
but no, it makes sense. But yeah, that's that's that's
just yet another brilliant to this graceful production. I just
love it so much. Wow. Well, yeah, so we do.

(01:13:22):
We have that disturbing scene where she's dancing with a
guy and then another guy basically just grabs her and
comes over. It's like, that's it, We're going to have
a date now, and she's like, did somebody pay you
to do this?

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:13:32):
That lady would add a big one in the pink dress.

Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
She did it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:35):
So we're in love now, honey. I mean, at no
point in time did Lisa just say not, get the
hell off, I got a guy. So she has to
endure all this stuff and then she finally lets slips.
She's like, Okay, yes, I did need somebody, and I'm

(01:13:57):
this really feels like I'm walking through saw grass at
this point, Like she's like without a machete, I'm just
trying to part through to get to the other side
of something here. That's how difficult this movie is. Holy crap.
So next we have uh, Lisa goes to work.

Speaker 2 (01:14:17):
She has a new job.

Speaker 1 (01:14:20):
She is and she's very nervous about it, and she
has a brand new green outfit, and she's.

Speaker 2 (01:14:26):
She's not even a virgin anymore. She's been having sex
with a man dog for like at least the last
thirty minutes of this film.

Speaker 1 (01:14:34):
I mean, the love scenes are not really coherent.

Speaker 2 (01:14:38):
I mean, oh, bro, is there anything more cringing than
the scene of them laying in bed and he unbuttons
her shirt and she and she's wearing some sort of
like bandage gaze bra and every time he touches her,
she giggles like like Jennifer, like the character from Ghost
No No Dirty Dancing. She drags his hand at her

(01:14:59):
life she goes, haha, uh, like that's that whole state
is so super cringe.

Speaker 1 (01:15:04):
Well, it really felt like this was her first love
scene ever shot on a movie, so she probably has
a number of people around her, and she looked that
nervous and uncomfortable, and yet we're supposed to believe, remember, Princess,
this Lethario. The whole reason he's a dog is because
he's a ladies man. He looked like he didn't know
what he was doing, Like no, okay, now it's almost

(01:15:26):
like it would turn over his shoulder what do I unbutton?

Speaker 2 (01:15:28):
Is that what I do next?

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
But okay, I'm gun button now and do I open it?

Speaker 2 (01:15:33):
He was a play Yeah, he was a playboy that
has no idea what to do with women.

Speaker 1 (01:15:36):
It's it's like his first time, not hers. But oh
the passion. So this is going on while they're all
trying to set her up. So when she goes to
the new job, Rita shows up at the apartment and
under the guys that she's looked well.

Speaker 2 (01:16:00):
Hold on, we need to answer a question in our comments.
By the way, if you ever want to join us
in our comments, we will talk to the people. Danielle
has asked the question, wait, is she fing the dog?
They answer your question is yes, yes, there she is, but.

Speaker 1 (01:16:19):
Not in not in dog form she was. He was
in male form when she was screwing it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:25):
But it's a Tijuana show, Brad.

Speaker 1 (01:16:28):
It is her dog that she is screwing. So this
means during the day she has a full blown Golden
retriever in her home that she's having sex with at night, correct.

Speaker 2 (01:16:42):
And then making breakfast for it as a dog the
next day. That's how low her self esteem has dropped
in this film. Is she goes from being I don't
need a man to I will screw this dog at
night and make him breakfast during the day, and she
just she makes him like eggs and bacon and serves
it to him in a dog Well, no, she that
was I was.

Speaker 1 (01:17:02):
Just about to bring that one up. That's see where
she brings out the breakfast, puts it on the table
and he's like nicles in the kitchen where the dog
bowl is, and she loses it like this is the
funniest thing on the planet. You're reading out of a dog.
Bully's a dog.

Speaker 2 (01:17:19):
This is not like the Frog Prince right, This is
not a Disney's version of the of like the Princess
and the Frog or the you know, the frog print story,
even Beauty and the Beast. There's no sexual activity happening
in any of the stories that regard that, like involve
a character turning into an animal as punishment. You don't
see the shaggy dog. You don't see Fred McMurray and
they're getting it on with his wife as a as

(01:17:41):
a as a puppy, you know what I mean. Like
she's like, oh my god, I didn't realize that you Fred,
it's going there and screw around. No, you don't see
that happening. Some reason, they've decided that that is a
very important situation that must occur in this field.

Speaker 1 (01:17:56):
And it is weird. I mean everything about this movie
is just yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
But that's like that's a strength. Like nobody at any
time said I don't think I want to sleep with
a dog. I would like for that not to be
a situation that I've been I'm placed upon.

Speaker 1 (01:18:12):
And there was another scene too, like the second or
third time that he transformed back into human and he's
in the house and he goes up to a mirror
and he's, you know, looking at his hair and stuff,
and then he turns around and we see his bare ass.
He thinks this is the best thing ever. He like
burst out with this beaming smiles, like that's what I'm

(01:18:33):
talking about. Look at that. I have no idea what's
happening anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:18:39):
I mean, like it would make more sense if they
just showed him randomly trying to hump her leg the
first time they get together, like that. That's comedy. Gold
that's sitting rests right for the picking. It's right there.
You just have her in there making breakfast or making something,
or doing laundry or Lord knows any number of things,
and he just walks up and just starts humping her leg.

Speaker 1 (01:19:00):
I tell you what this movie made me feel like
at this point. Have you ever seen those big paddlewheel
boats that's in the shape of a giant swan. Yes,
I feel like I paddle out in the middle of
a lake and the keel fell off and the chain
broke and I'm just out there floating in a big
white swan now and I can't do anything, and I'm

(01:19:23):
stuck in this odd, dacious, got awful looking, stupid thing
and I can't get out of it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:33):
This movie is I feel like this movie is humping
my leg for most of it.

Speaker 1 (01:19:38):
Great analogy, perfect.

Speaker 2 (01:19:40):
That's a good visual for you too, well.

Speaker 1 (01:19:45):
So I think you're gonna have to help me through
this last part because I don't even grasp Rita figures
out that the dog is in her house, but there's
this guy in her life.

Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
Yeah, let me explain this part, because this is this
is stupid. This is a different level of stupid. So
Rita's her friend and she comes over in the middle
of her and her dog boy are getting busy and
they're trying to get make puppies or something. And Rita
comes to the door and she's like, hey, it's raining,
or you're gonna let me in? And she's like, oh,

(01:20:21):
I haven't told anybody about that. Now I can't let
you in. She's like, I'm coming in. It's raining. My
car broke down. I'm staying here tonight. Like, where are
you at, Rita? Where are you at? And you didn't
call an uber. It's two thousand and seven, it exists.
Get yourself a ride, Rita? Why are you walking to
my house? Coming in and saying you're going to spend
the night here. And so they're standing in her hallway
and Rita starts taking off her clothes and she's like

(01:20:44):
what are you doing? She goes, it's wet, I'm going
to take a shower. I don't think you understand how
showers work, Rita. If you're wet, you don't take off
your clothes and get in the shower. You take off
your clothes and you dry off with the towel. That's
how that works. And she's like, oh, what's going on?
Why are you acting so weird? And she runs around
and she there's like, Rita's I guess Lisa's apartment. It

(01:21:07):
appears pretty big before whatever reason, she should have a
closet space. So she's got one of those things where
you it's like a zip up portable closet. And that's
where Prince is hiding. And he's hiding, and what you
think is he's you think he's naked, but for some reason,
hears beige the whole film. It's like he's wearing a
beige onesie the whole film. And she comes in there

(01:21:28):
and finds him and she's like, oh my god. She
screams and he screams, and then Rita gets like super
pissed off. Now I've yet to figure out why she's
so upset, and she's like, I can't believe you.

Speaker 1 (01:21:38):
This is my question. Why was Lisa hiding her friend
Captain insisting on her to date somebody. She's got somebody,
Why hide it from her?

Speaker 2 (01:21:47):
She gets upset that she's like, oh, yeah, I can't
believe you've lied to me here. I thought you were
this pure girl this whole time, and really you were,
you know, a dog humping whore. Like That's essentially what
she got upset and mat about. And then Rita leaves
the film, what doesn't return to the very end, She's gone.

Speaker 1 (01:22:07):
Gone, Yeah, that made no sense at all.

Speaker 2 (01:22:11):
So what five kids, four kids and a grandma or something?

Speaker 1 (01:22:14):
You wanted her to get laid the entire movie. Now
she's with the guy and you're pissed about it. Huh.
But yeah, and that makes no sense. The mother's friend
has come over feeling dizzy and she has to go inspect.
Then at some point her this is the mom's friend

(01:22:36):
and Prince the man again it's daytime or at a restaurant.
She's berating him as such. He goes and hides in
the bathroom. She's waiting outside. Now for some reason, she
picks up her foot and grabs something off her heel
that's not there. Then decides, I'm going to barge into

(01:22:58):
his bathroom. She does, and the dog runs out and
there's no man inside. I literally have no idea what
the hell's happening anymore. She then goes to Lisa and
says I saw him change into a dog, to which
Lisa's like, okay, wait, you know what, and she admits it.

(01:23:18):
Lisa's like, okay, you found out. He's like wait a second,
did you actually see him change? Well, no, the door
was closed and he was there, and then the dog
came out like that was vital. Huh. But now Lisa's
already admitted he's a dog man. I'm at a loss

(01:23:41):
as to what he is. And now they're plotting their marriage.
They're going to get married. The pond at some point
said you have to be a husband, to be a
man all the time. So he's pledged his love to her.
He's going to marry her. Okay, everything is going great.

(01:24:05):
Let's have Prince the dog now get wiped out by
a car.

Speaker 2 (01:24:07):
I'm not gonna lie. I feel like this. I feel
like this pond is is screwing with this dude the
whole time. I don't think the pond can really do.
But it says that that. I don't think a pond,
the magical pond can do what the magical pond says
he can do. I think it's a fake pond.

Speaker 1 (01:24:25):
Go with me on this. I've got a theory.

Speaker 2 (01:24:27):
Uh oh, all right, hit me.

Speaker 1 (01:24:29):
The spirit in the pond is one of the women
that the womanizing Prince slighted, and as she died, she
became a magical pond, and when he was transferred into
a dog, this is her revenge scenario.

Speaker 2 (01:24:46):
Well, fun fact, you hit it on the head because
they actually explained that. No they didn't. Really, Yeah, yeah,
that's that's that's exactly what she is. He's like, I'm
a play he says. At some point, he says, I'm
I was a playboy and one of the girls that
I harmed put a curse on me, and she's the
magical pond.

Speaker 1 (01:25:07):
I completely I swear to god, I completely missed that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:10):
Now you didn't subconsciously you were all on it. Holy crap, yep,
or way to pay attention, brat, or.

Speaker 1 (01:25:17):
I just have the mindset of the screenwriter, which you
could have written, Well, that just sent a chill down
my spine.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
Well you and Fion have something in common?

Speaker 1 (01:25:26):
Then, okay, well then I backed into that one. How
brilliant am I? So so yeah, this has all occurred.
And then, for reasons unknown, Prince raced across the street
squealing tires and then there he is blood all over
the dog in a nice little puddle of blood underneath

(01:25:47):
of him, and yes, Prince is dead.

Speaker 2 (01:25:52):
Like just straight up just kill the dog, just straight
up kill the dog.

Speaker 1 (01:25:56):
No, there was like no preamble to this or what,
you know, like they had a fight and does it
I'm leaving and the dog runs out or anything like.

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
No, it was just like, oh, no, they had they
had a fight. She kicked him out. She kicked him out,
and then they decided that they were going to be
together again, and they were running towards each other like
a cute meat you We're gonna be there with you.

Speaker 1 (01:26:16):
And then he gets killed by Yeah, but they edited
to think so it was like ten seconds instead of
just drawn out, you know, like set up for it
was just basically like, well, I'm gonna go across the
street now, oh damn it, I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:26:28):
Dead, Like it would have been better if he had died,
like protecting her from an attacker, right, he gave up
his soul, because that's that was the Pond's whole point,
you know, the old I call it MP Magic Pond.
Old MP was saying, look, you don't really know what
true love is because you're not willing to make the sacrifice. Well,
he didn't make a sacrifice. He got hit by a car.
That's not a sacrifice. Sacrifice would be if he had

(01:26:50):
pushed her out of the way and got hit by
the bus instead, or if Jack Black showed up and
put it him into the river like an anchorman.

Speaker 1 (01:27:00):
It is, Yeah, so she's now sad, like crying, like
falling apart. This movie has just absolutely abused anybody watching
it at this point, and title card comes up years later,

(01:27:21):
I think that's what it said. It didn't say how many,
it just said for years, just years later, and then
we see a scene of a woman interacting as such
older woman and it's like, but that a while, You're like, holy,
this is Lisa.

Speaker 2 (01:27:37):
She's like, but you don't know that, Like it's terrible.
You don't know how long it's been because she didn't
make her look old enough to like say, okay, she's
got wrinkles. It just was like she changed her hair
color to like a silverish gray. They didn't like give
her wrinkles or really, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:53):
She's wearing makeup for the first time, but the makeup
is supposed to make her look gold. But it's just
it's like, Okay, she's wearing makeup. Now's now she's a
grown up girl. How well done? No, she's got kind
of gray hair.

Speaker 2 (01:28:06):
And then at the same stupid green apartment. Nothing's changed.

Speaker 1 (01:28:11):
This is like thirty forty years down the road now
not years later.

Speaker 2 (01:28:16):
With that little hanging thing, that that little house plant
hanging thing that's right there when you first come in
her room and there's plant. The plant hasn't even aged.
You can't even tell how long it's been.

Speaker 1 (01:28:25):
She's got those two long hanging shoe trees too, Yeah,
those are.

Speaker 2 (01:28:30):
Still there, the plants off front. It's like, if this
is supposed to be, it says, years later, If this
is supposed to be, like thirty years later, like none
of the plants have changed. There's no like nothing has faded.
There has just been no paint applied to the door,
like nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:28:46):
We are decades in the future, and Lisa's life has
been in complete stasis the entire time. She hasn't gotten
a better career, better job, better living, nothing. She's as
we left her. She's just super old. Now her friend
comes over to that she's a completely different actress now
in her sixties.

Speaker 2 (01:29:04):
Everybody what she's a grandma. She shows up with she's
just wandering down the street with she's carried one child
and she's got three other children with her. And it
says room for rent or house for rent, and she
just walks up and the best part is like, how
do you not recognize your friends? She goes, Hey, I'm
here to look about the house for rent. How do
you not know this is your friend's place? You try

(01:29:27):
to earlier in the film, you tried to take off
all your clothes and take a shower in this place,
and now suddenly you don't remember where it was.

Speaker 1 (01:29:34):
Well, it was probably, you know, a case of wow,
I remember, yeah, my friend way back when used a lip.
Holy crap, you're still here. She had to be in
some kind of denial. It probably had to hit her
and she was just like, ooh, there's no way this
is happening. You can't possibly be her. Somebody played a
prank on me. Where's Ashen Kutcher? Come on, it's really you?

(01:29:58):
Oh my god. But it gets better. Prince shows up.

Speaker 2 (01:30:11):
As an actual dude.

Speaker 1 (01:30:14):
The male version, the human form of Prince arrives with
a shitty gray wig and garbage basement old person's makeup on.
It looks like the two of them are about to
go to community theater for some Christmas play.

Speaker 2 (01:30:29):
Well, the best part is he walks in and says,
I'm here to look at the house, and there's a
leash hanging on the wall. That the leash that she
puts on him while he's a man. She puts the
leash on him while he's a man, and it's hanging
on the wall with this little heart, and she says,
He says, oh, look, it looks like you had a
You really loved your dog. Looks like you really loved you.

(01:30:49):
She goes, I don't want to talk about it, and
she's got her back turned to what is apparently a
stranger going to rent her place, and she's like, no,
it's not for rent anymore. Why'd you let him in?

Speaker 1 (01:31:03):
And why did you hang on to a dog leash
for thirty years?

Speaker 2 (01:31:06):
It's never moved. It's still hanging up on the wall
right by where she would put it on him to.

Speaker 1 (01:31:10):
I mean, let's just say it's significant, okay, yeah, Oh,
once upon a time I was in love with the dog,
and then we tore it up on that sofa some nights,
I gotta tell you, But you would put that in
a box in the closet, you know, memories.

Speaker 2 (01:31:27):
We didn't even address the fact that she has a
chocolate shaped heartbed. It's a heart shaped chocolate corduroy bed
that she sleeps on. We never address that.

Speaker 1 (01:31:40):
I'm I'm there's so much about this movie I blocked out, Chaul.
It's just there's just in order to survive the film,
there's you have to have blackout moments here. And honestly,
at this point when he walked in, I was I
was pissed. I was just I was like I wanted

(01:32:01):
to break the television or punch a ferret in the
throat or something. I just was like at this stage,
just no, screw you film. Hey no, And you know,
I'm like pacing. So how did they justify him showing up?
Like seriously, like why is he a thing?

Speaker 2 (01:32:24):
And that he didn't like I think it was supposed
to be reincarnated, like he reincarnated himself, because her friend
Lisa at one point says, hey, you know that if
Prince ever came back, that he would be the age
he was when he died as a dog and you're old,
and she's like, oh, I forgot about that. I'm like,
what why does that? Where'd that logic come from? Why

(01:32:46):
does he have to reincarnate.

Speaker 1 (01:32:47):
As a well? Wait, like dog years is what she's saying, because.

Speaker 2 (01:32:51):
That's what I thought the application was okay, but.

Speaker 1 (01:32:55):
The two of them are old as hell. Of course
he would be old as hell. Everybody's a retirement age here,
so there's no dog your explanation that she well, you
know what, he died back dead. Actually, if you timetable,
he would be exactly the same age as us. What
are you doing? I swear is the only good thing

(01:33:21):
to transpire from this scene is that they wrap their
arms around each other there in love and and the
movie ends.

Speaker 2 (01:33:32):
Did they get They get like remarried or something?

Speaker 1 (01:33:36):
So yay, happy ending. Don't run out in traffic anymore, Prince.
Can I finally turn this television off and go find
some hunter proof, which pretty much is what I did.
But yes, I gotta tell you I am. I am

(01:33:56):
very very proud of this selection.

Speaker 2 (01:34:00):
Yeah, I wish you weren't. That's a lie. I wish
you weren't. I mean, it's impressive. I've got to know.
I now have to outdo you. I've got to find
something out do you. My wife has said that she
has suggested we watch a movie called Summer Camp. Have
you have you seen that one at all? She's like,

(01:34:20):
it's ninety minutes long. I didn't make it that long.
She was just the most borning thing I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 (01:34:25):
Huh.

Speaker 2 (01:34:25):
It's got Diane Keaton and Kathy Baits in it. She's
she's recommended a movie to us. Came out last year.
It's got uh maybe four point five. It's a four
point five IMDb rating. Diane Keaton, Kathy Baits, Eugene Levy,
Dennis Haysbert Beverly DiAngelo, Icle Ritchie. Uh. I'm sure there's

(01:34:52):
some other people in it too.

Speaker 1 (01:34:53):
Okay, well we can maybe Alfred Woodward probably queue that
one up for for some your time, for sure. Have
you seen what's coming up? Though? Uh, you're talking about
it's going to be on Amazon. No, this is a
movie that looks to be kind of a version of

(01:35:17):
Olympus has Fallen. White House is attacked, except this time
the president is the one fighting back. Except this time
the president. It's called G twenty. I believe the president
is a black female with an automatic weapon.

Speaker 2 (01:35:35):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (01:35:36):
They made this completely expecting Kamala to win?

Speaker 2 (01:35:41):
Did they really?

Speaker 1 (01:35:42):
I mean this it looks stupid as hell, And then
when you fold in that reality on top of it,
Holy hell, I think we got to see this that
looks just rumor? Has it the trailer may have just
come out a couple of days ago. They didn't have
a trailer for it, but I think it came out,

(01:36:07):
so that's gonna we're gonna have to put that one
on the calendar as a must.

Speaker 2 (01:36:11):
I think earlier in the comments, Dan Yelle or somebody
suggested something called Veterridium, did you see that?

Speaker 1 (01:36:19):
I have No, I'm not familiar with that one.

Speaker 2 (01:36:22):
I'm not either. I'm sure I misspelled it or mispronounced it.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
And I'm looking right now. I got to see when
this is coming. I'm still waiting for uh. I don't
know if we've got to release date yet for Popeye
the Slayer Man, because that I am dying to see.

(01:36:48):
If anybody's not familiar with this concept, it is a
live action pop Eye movie because he is now in
the public domain, so anybody can do what they want
and bastardize this. Kids go and investigate a haunted spinach
factory and you can just guess what happens as a result.

(01:37:15):
It's supposed to come out in the spring. It's actually
going to theaters, they say. I'm trying to see if
we got a date, though I don't know if they've
announced an official date. It's springtime releases. All they're saying
so far, but yeah, that's definitely on the radar.

Speaker 2 (01:37:34):
Nice all right, well we'll have to put that on
there then.

Speaker 1 (01:37:39):
Yeah. All they're saying is this spring still so damn it?
Come on, nail this down. I got plans to make.
But here we go. You got a you got your
lover's film if you want to snuggle up on the
sofa and have a Netflix and chill moment with a
loved one. Although it's going to be to be and

(01:38:00):
that's where you're gonna find this one, good news is
it won't cast you a dime.

Speaker 2 (01:38:04):
Well she did too much chilling with that dog in
this film.

Speaker 1 (01:38:09):
Yeah, I mean, if you you know not to knock it.
If you've got a beloved pet and you want to
watch a film with them, this could be the well no, no,
I actually no, no, no, no no. Don't do it
with a loved one. Do it with a lover and
then just sit back and watch the expression on their
face as the credits roll at the closing with no music,

(01:38:29):
and they'll just say, what the hell happened to you?
You'll have that magical moment for Valentine's Day for the
rest of your life. But I definitely recommend it because
this thing is a sight to behold. This thing happened.
That's the amazing part. I would love to see. We
got to see if we can get Glickman on, if

(01:38:50):
he's willing to talk about this again. Oh my gosh,
that'd be awesome. Reach out too much damn fun with
this one. But yeah, this this is just amazing and
I can't recommend it enough. I'm just gonna say so. Yeah,
go to Tubby Love on a leash right there. It's

(01:39:11):
it's on a fast service. Won't cost you a dime.
You got to sit through some commercials and believe me,
they're a welcome respite during this bro during this feature.
But that'll wrap it up for us. I want to
wish love and hearts to everybody out there. I hope
everybody is wrapped and enraptured with the loves of their

(01:39:31):
lives tomorrow, unless you're like me where they don't want to.
My wife hates Valentine's Day. It's weird. Yeah, I got
the one woman on the planet that doesn't like it,
so I I think I actually won her heart on
Valentine's Day when we were first dating and I gave
her a card and I said, this is definitely not
It was just like a She's like, I told you

(01:39:52):
not to. It's like just read the card and she's like, hey,
I want to tell you I'm having a really good
time with you and hopefully I'll see you again this weekend.
There's like, made no mention of it whatsoever. She's like,
this is my favorite Valentine's Day card ever. Wonder over
just like that. So there you go, little little touchstone
of my my romance. I did nothing on Valentine's Day

(01:40:14):
and she fell in love. All right, Paul, Well, why
don't you let people know where they can find more
of your magnificence.

Speaker 2 (01:40:23):
So just on zitter for right now. I haven't done
much talking lately, much ticking or talking. Been too busy,
says he's working real just on zitter at movie Paul,
That's all I'm happening.

Speaker 1 (01:40:37):
Well go check out his account because he's got at
least one still shot of the commercial.

Speaker 2 (01:40:42):
Oh yeah, China Girl dog food, just.

Speaker 1 (01:40:47):
Staggeringly beautiful stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:40:48):
Here.

Speaker 1 (01:40:49):
As for myself, and I'm in a variety of places.
You can see me daily at townhall dot com with
my media column Rift from the Headlines. I'm also a
regular daily feature on the Red State front Page, where
I've also got a twice weekly podcast called Liable Sources,
where I dive deeper into the muck and meyer the
mainstream media. Next Thursday, I will be here same time

(01:41:10):
and place, but with a different person, Orty Packard, and
myself will guide you through all the important and vital
entertainment information on the Culture Shift. Tuesday nights. I'm here
at eight and a half with the ever effervescent Aggie
Reekin on the Cocktail Lounge, where we guide you through
all sorts of leisure activities and fun frivolities from art

(01:41:31):
and sports and drinking and you name it, we have
fun with it. And then if you need more of
me than that, let's face it, you do head over
to Jitter. I am at Martini Shark. Okay, Paul, we've
got a fortnight in front of us to try to
come up with something awful to entertain everybody with. I
dare say we're not going to be as bad or

(01:41:51):
good as this one, but we'll come close. We'll see
what we can come up with.

Speaker 2 (01:41:57):
Well. Summer movie season is about to kick off too,
with Sars in March or is that spring now?

Speaker 1 (01:42:02):
Usually I think they pushed it up till like late
April now or first week in May is normally like
when the Fast and the Furious movie would come out.
But they don't have one right now, so who knows
what they're going to try to foist into theaters. Then
we're a little bit of a lull. You're going to
have your garbage Valentine movies, and then March sometimes comes

(01:42:23):
up with, you know, like a stray superhero movie. We
do have Captain America? Is that next week for two weeks?

Speaker 2 (01:42:29):
No, that's tomorrow?

Speaker 1 (01:42:31):
Was it this weekend?

Speaker 2 (01:42:32):
That's tomorrow? And my favorite quote so far as from
this guy that I follow, he says, I got good
news for people whose favorite Marvel movies are The Is
the Incredible Hulk and The Intertals, which is amazing. And
then an old buddy of mine from screen Rant had
already seen the film and reviewed it, started reviewing it

(01:42:54):
and he said, I used to complain about how mar
Is Alex said. He used to complain about how Marvel's
problem was making movies that were fun but nothing more.
And now I just wish Captain America was even remotely fun.
It's a tower thriller, light afraid of saying anything, and
there's some sparks of excitement that it's mostly flat. How
do you pull that off with a Red Hulk being
played by Harrison Ford?

Speaker 1 (01:43:14):
How does actually? I can tell you. I just I
just read an article before the show today. Was it
was it variety? I think it was right. Somebody one
of the trades spoke to one or two people that
were on the set making this movie, spoke anonymously and
they said that Disney is pulling their punches now because

(01:43:38):
basically Harrison Ford was getting set up like an oppressive
fascist president before he turns into Red Hulk, and basically
he was going pretty much going to be Donald Trump
avatar on screen. But then after the election, they found

(01:43:59):
everybody actually like Trump and they're trying to move away
from that if anywhere possible. So they changed the title
up and a couple of other things. They've done reshoots,
and it's like suddenly they have no idea what to
do with this movie because they're trying to avoid that.

Speaker 2 (01:44:14):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:44:16):
So they tried to do a woke Captain America on
top of what you got. The actor out there saying
Captain America does not represent America. Oh really, I apparently
missed a few details such as the name of the character.
But all right, so, yeah, it sounds like they don't

(01:44:37):
know what they've got. No, I don't know what to
do with what they get.

Speaker 2 (01:44:41):
So they have no idea. I think this was spposed
to be some sort of soft reboot. But yeah, it
doesn't look like it's gonna work for them.

Speaker 1 (01:44:47):
Yeah, it could be a mess. We will wait and
see on that. We'll reserve judgment until we do. So
that's gonna do it for this one. We've got two
weeks out and then Paul and I are gonna bring
some more sludge to your your waves and we'll have
some more fun here on disasters in the making.

Speaker 2 (01:45:11):
They go away all this pain. I try to every night,
all in vain envy. Sometimes I can not say Deasprice.
Sometimes that's not like I can't taste.

Speaker 1 (01:45:30):
Sometimes I can.

Speaker 2 (01:45:32):
I tell my guys, you'll never see any far from