September 25, 2024 • 25 mins
In this episode, Dr. David Hanscom continues his discussion with Deborah Gray, therapist and business owner. She explains Rapid Transformation Therapy (RTT), a therapeutic modality that helps clients understand the sources of their issues, determine what needs to be done to heal, and actively engage in the healing process. She emphasizes how language influences thoughts and emotions, emphasizing the need to use high-energy words and positive language to reprogram the mind. She also stresses the importance of prioritizing sleep. Deborah Gray is a mother, grandmother, therapist, lifelong learner, business owner, and lover of life. She has two Master's degrees in Clinical Social Work and Mind-Body Medicine. Deborah knows that life has a way of throwing us curve balls and in the quest to transcend these difficult circumstances she has made a career out of helping others live a Life By Design. Her heart's desire now is to work from anywhere in the world using Rapid Transformational Therapy to quickly bring joy back into the lives of those who suffer. For more information, you may contact her at: dgray@lifebydesignpa.net
Please note that all XZBN radio and/or television shows are Copyright © REL-MAR McConnell Meda Company, Niagara, Ontario, Canada – www.rel-mar.com. For more Episodes of this show and all shows produced, broadcasted and syndicated from REL-MAR McConell Media Company and The 'X' Zone Broadcast Network and the 'X' Zone TV Channell, visit www.xzbn.net. For programming, distribution, and syndication inquiries, email programming@xzbn.net.
Please note that all XZBN radio and/or television shows are Copyright © REL-MAR McConnell Meda Company, Niagara, Ontario, Canada – www.rel-mar.com. For more Episodes of this show and all shows produced, broadcasted and syndicated from REL-MAR McConell Media Company and The 'X' Zone Broadcast Network and the 'X' Zone TV Channell, visit www.xzbn.net. For programming, distribution, and syndication inquiries, email programming@xzbn.net.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, and welcome to Back in Control Radio with Doctor
David Hanscombe.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hello everybody, and welcome to another episode of Back in
Control Radio with Doctor David Hanscomb. I'm your host, Tom Masters,
and our guest today is Deborah Gray. She's a therapist
and business owner with two master's degrees in clinical social
work and mind body Medicine. Having dealt with and transcended
her own difficult circumstances, she has made a career out
(00:39):
of helping others live a life by design. She is
now using rapid transformational therapy to quickly bring joy back
into the lives of her clients.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Welcome, Thank you, Tom, deb welcome back to the podcast.
You're just deb Gray in the first podcast, and she's
some way I've known for many years since.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
You thought was thirteen. And she has two.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Master's degree in clinical social work and mind body Medicine.
She's been through a lot of difficult circumstances and I
met her a workshop in the America Institute in ride Back,
New York. Is a five day workshop, and we talked
about the first podcast how deb started to learn. Came
to a second workshop. To make a long story short,
she went pretty much to pain free in about oh,
(01:24):
probably twelve months, I would say, Dev, is that about right?
So Dev shared her story in the first podcast, but
I really want her to share today is what she's
doing now moving forward, because a lot of the concepts
that we thought about ten years ago now becoming more
clear in our minds. And so dev'zell learned a process
called rapid transfornational therapy to quickly bring joy back into
(01:46):
the lives of those who suffer. And we're going to
talk about how that evolved for her, what she's doing now,
and I'm just I'm excited about her journey in general.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
So Dan, welcome back to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Thank you, David.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
I'm glad to be here.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
So devis use lots of different tools, and I'm going
to start this out by delineating a process I call
deep healing as opposed to self help. And it says, well,
you would think, well, isn't that the same thing, Well
it's not.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
So.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
When your body's in fight or flight what we call
it threat physology, your body breaks down, but you need
fight or flight to stay alive, in other words, just
a challenge to stay alive. We're all competing for resources.
It takes energy to do that, which means adrenaline, corrasol,
inflammatory sided kinds. Your brain's on fire, your brain's on
high alert. So we know sustain chronic stress i e.
(02:41):
Sustained fight or flight breaks the body down. Deep healing
occurs when you have time to rest in between. So
with chronic stress, you have no time to rest and regenerate.
So what you do, you're training your body to go
more into safety physiology and less than threat. You're never
going to get rid of threat physology, otherwise you wouldn't
stay alive. So the whole concept of deep healing is
(03:05):
you learn to get your body more safty physiology or
less fight or flight, and your body heals itself. What
self help does says well, I don't like pain. I
want to get rid of it. If I have all
these tools to fight the pain, I'm going to somehow
feel better. Unfortunately, the pain's running the show. And by
literally inadvertently fighting the pain, you actually make things more inflammatory.
(03:30):
So what deb and I have come across inadvertently, even
though I need the language, is becoming more clearly that you,
as you learn self calming tools that are int inflammatory,
help your rest and regenerate your body heals itself. So
again that means you have to learn to be with
the pain, to train yourself not to react to the pain.
That includes mental pain and physical pain. And you're going
(03:53):
to react, that's the end stain. But how long do
you want to stay in that reaction? So you learn
to regulate your bodies chemistry in a way that allows
you to be in more safety and in less fight
or flight. We call that deep healing, and self help
processes help, but they don't help by themselves. It's sort
of a combination of self help processes that allow you
to get into deep healing. So the learning processes on
(04:17):
the skills, not on the pains, on the skills about
how do I process adversity and how do I nurture joy?
The two separate skill sets. They're linked, but they're separate.
You can't really nurture joy if you're in fight or flight.
You have to let the fight or flight do his thing.
You do your thing over here with the conscious brain,
it said, dynamic process occurs every day, all day long,
(04:38):
back and forth. So deb in her own way has
learned how to do this and.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
She has thrived at a really nice level right.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
I have, I would say I'm one of the most
resilient people I know.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Right, So right, and let me ask you a question.
And this is something that's hit my brain about three
months ago. Says, somehow people feel that they should be
free your pain, that they should not be in pain, right.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Right, Okay, there's the first mistake, right, because it's a
thinking error, right right, Because if we think anything, if
we think should, it automatically is going to either if
we're shoulding someone else, we're going to be disappointed, angry
or hurt by what they're shoulding to do and they
didn't do it. If we should ourselves, we feel guilt
(05:27):
and depression. So that's that's our that's the basis of
cognitive berial therapy, is is our thinking. So we you know,
there's some language around that that can help. But that
was that's the first mistake. Is when we start we
should be out of pain, right, we're already inflaming ourselves.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
So if you the only way you're going to be
out of pain if you are dead, not alive. I mean,
your body is designed to look for danger pain, just
as danger and danger exists every day all around us,
both mental and physical By the way, mental pain is
process in a similar manner to physical pain, and it hurts.
So we have a big problem to deal with mental pain.
Physical pain is there every day, so the pain is
(06:08):
always going to be unpleasant. That's not the goal here.
The goal is to but when you get angry about
being and pain, that's when your nervous system really fires up.
So you and I talked a little bit before this
podcast about affirmations, which by themselves are sort of deadly,
but we came up with a different set of concepts
(06:31):
which we don't have a word for yet.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
You want to explain that a little bit, sure, So
we were talking about how if we just say I'm okay,
but that's not helpful, and you and you were explaining
why that's not helpful, and I was telling you about
affirmations that I use are used in a way to
help me go down the rabbit hole into positivity. So,
(06:54):
for example, if I'm feeling attacked, I would use language
in my head. I don't even say it a lout.
I just think I'm surrounded by people who love and
support me, and that rabbit hole looks like I'm thinking
about my grandchildren. I'm thinking about the people I care about.
I'm thinking about who I might call that could give
me some words of encouragement, and that leads me into
(07:17):
that direction of positivity, which is anti inflammatory.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Right, because the other choices is to complain. And let's
talk about that just for a second, because I want
to get to your rapid transformational therapy pretty quickly. But
one of the cardinal rules that we learned at OMEGA,
and it was just evolving when you were there the
first year or the second year, but one of the
absolutes that we have found out as far as healing
(07:41):
from chronic pain is never discussing your pain. No discussion
your medical care, no complaining, no negativity, no giving unasked
for advice, no criticism. Because we do that a lot
is human beings. We judge, we complain, We go into
the victim role. And so until you can actually just
flat out stop negative conversation, you just cannot heal because
(08:03):
that input changes your body's chemistry to fight or flight.
So can you go a little bit more detail again
about the neuro linguistic programming, about how has you change
your language actually changing your physiology.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Yes, so I actually learned this from a woman named
Yvonne Oswald who wrote a book Every Word Has Power, okay,
and I went to a nine day training with her, okay,
And a good part of it was neuro linguistic programming,
which is basically how language hits your nervous system.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Right.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
So if I say to my staff we've got a
big problem, they automatically feel it in their chest, you know,
they catch a breath, right, and that inflames the nervous system.
If I say we have an opportunity to make some
good changes here that can make things easier, well, there's
no physical reaction to that. So I have learned over
(08:54):
time and through that process. We actually spent nine days.
There were twelve of us, and we used high end
energy language and we call it was called the switch game,
and it's in her book it's just the switch game.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Switch game.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
So we're actually practicing on each other switching language. So
if I heard you, David, say, you know, I'm just
really tired, I would say switch, And then you would
have to come up with a language that was higher energy.
And we know it's higher energy because if you put
it into Google and a lot of negative stories come up,
that's not the high energy, there's something positive comes up,
(09:29):
you know you're right on track, So you might say instead,
you know, I'm not having much energy today, or I'm
feeling like I could really use a good night's sleep,
right And those are both positive and they hit your
body differently, and you could probably explain chemically and physically
why that happens. At my level, I think it happens
(09:51):
because if I'm thinking thoughts that are not healthy are say,
I've already switching my language that might be considered less
I positive. It might cause me to get muscle tension,
or it might cause my stomach to get upset, or
my heart to be faster, right so, and and with
all of that, or to release the adrenaline, a stress hormone,
(10:15):
right so, So, language actually helped is one of my tools.
It's one of my major tools. And changing my thought
processing is something I just do naturally now, like it
just happens. Like if I hear I was telling you,
if I hear someone cough in the next stle over
at Walmart, my my brain immediately says to myself, I'm
healthy and full of energy. Just a reminder that positive
(10:38):
way of looking at life and calming my nervous system.
So I'm not because if I went into that whole
thought of oh what if they have COVID and there's
probably COVID all over here and look at all the
germs and what did I touch? And now I've created
the anxiety. I've created the inflammation all.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Right inadvertently, which you've done by being on high alart.
You've actually compromised your main system. It's so backwards, right,
It's all backwards. So but yeah, So the emphasis is
on the tools and a positive vision. And one of
my more major mentors is pointed out there we're mostly
programmed by negativity. We have lots of things we should
(11:19):
shouldn't be. We're programmed by who everyone else thinks we
should be. So who are we? I mean, who are we?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Actually?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
So the brain is programmable, So you have a lifetime
or program that.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
You can't change.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
You cannot change it, which you can separate from it
and actually program in whoever you want going forward. So
when we talk about positive affirmations, that's one thing to
reassure yourself that you're okay, because you really reinforce the
fact that I'm not okay. But really having a positive
vision and sticking with it and either composedly do this.
(11:53):
I can achieve this. I can do this. I'm surrounded
by family and friends. That's a different energy than just
constantly reassuring yourself. So ongoing to reassurance is a huge problem.
Creating a vision and reinforcing that vision is a huge
factor in achieving a number one, but also major factor
in your body's chemistry. So let's jump into this rapid
(12:15):
transformational therapy. You're pretty excited about that, so I talk
about that. So let's talk about that.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
So this is something I just learned, and I went
to Los Angeles in June and trained under Recipeer who
is in the UK and she has a number of
books out. You can find her on YouTube. But I
actually came across it because I was listening to a
podcast and they were talking about how she had healed
herself from cancer and she had this method called direct
(12:44):
instruct command, compel and code body back to help. So
that's how I.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Can you repeat that?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Can you repeat that again a little bit more slowly?
Speaker 4 (12:52):
I sure can. It's my excitement, David.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
This that's why we're here.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
So it's instruct command, compel and code, and it all
has to do again with our brains are so amazing
in order to heal ourselves right like. And so anyway,
I've been trained and I came back and since I've
been back since June, I've done fifty five sessions now
(13:21):
and I'm seeing results in people that I've worked with
off and on for years or maybe even consecutively for years,
finding huge major changes. So one of the biggest changes
I've seen is with a gentleman that I've been working with,
and in twenty sixteen, he was taking a medication that
(13:43):
started with that tart of dyskinesia, the movements, the hand movements,
and then it got worse and it became tard of
tourettes where he would have verbal outbursts one side of
his face with grimace, he would have ticks and shot.
He described it as shocks going through his body, and
he was having up to ten fifteen an hour. So
(14:04):
this is twenty sixteen. Fast forward to a few weeks ago,
twenty twenty four, and I did a session of RTT
with him. And the way it works is you use
hypnosis or guided imagery. It's very I would say the
hypnosis is very much guided imagery, and the whole process
(14:27):
is guided imagery into understanding why and how I came
to be this way, then understanding the role, the function,
the purpose and intention of having this problem, and then
it's interrupting it. So in his situation, what we did
was we looked at the events that led up to it,
(14:49):
which was a medication change. It also took him back
to another situation with his dad. His dad had a
neurological disorder, so he had a memory around that, so
we address that, okay, So moving forward to eight years,
I did an RTT session with him and using the
(15:10):
tools of RTT, and after one session.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Can you what tools are those?
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Is it RGT, RTT Rapid transformational therapy it okay? And
specifically one piece of it is called command cell therapy,
where we actually talked to the brain the mind and
ask it to go back to its original imprint and
go back to that part of itself that knows how
(15:39):
to heal and what we need to be doing. And
in the process, and we're now three weeks out, he
is reporting zero outbursts, he had ten shocks an hour,
He has had no shops, he is reporting that he's
social again. His sister and his best friend are saying,
(16:03):
we have our brother and friend back. And he has
very minimal tremors compared to tremors and shakes that would
literally reel him back and I would hear his next
snap and he would be in this pain. And he
has the grimacing has almost completely stopped. He can actually
(16:25):
feel it coming on and relax his face. So he
has none of the pain issues related to what he
was going through. And we're both just amazed and blown
away and excited and happy for him that that has happened.
And so and so I've been using it for a
lot of a lot of things physical and emotional. Another
(16:48):
client has a tumor that was causing them to wake
up in the night and chronic pain, you know, and
pain different positions would cause the pain. We did this
two weeks ago go today and I spoke with her
this morning and she's sleeping through the night. The pain
isn't completely gone, it's not waking her up at night,
(17:09):
and she had not slept through the night since January.
And so she's just totally amazed and she's kind of
excited to see what's going to happen when she actually
gets her next scan on the tumor itself, because she
is finding that she's feeling better.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
So let me back up just for a second. So
did you state those words again that this process consists.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Of Yeah, So what it is is it's hypnosis, okay,
which I also I.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Do want to say one thing by hypnosis because I
didn't find out in Seattle that menic hypnosis is very powerful.
People who hear the word that hypnosis and just shut down.
So correct me if I'm wrong. It's really a very
deep guided imagery relaxation.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
That's exactly what it is, right, And I and I
have friends and family who would be concerned about that
from a spiritual basis, And it's easily easily adaptable to
just relax right, right, We're just relaxing. And truly the
idea is is that when you can get into a
relaxed state of mind, you can access part of your
(18:13):
brain that you don't access when you're overthinking. We all
know that, right, I.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Can I dump the physiology in here for a second,
I'd love it. So when you're not relaxed, you're in
fight or flight, the blood supply goes from your thinking
brain into the limbic brain, or the fear brain, and
you actually cannot It's not that you can't I don't
want to think clearly, you actually cannot think clearly. Performance
goes down, Athletic performance goes down, students' scores go down,
(18:41):
and anxiety goes up. So you actually have a shift
in the activity in the brain, including the blood flow,
so you cannot access it. So deep relaxation is a
way of getting your brain, your brain back online.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
That fair statement, that's crazy, Yeah, that's exactly it. And
then what happens is the next part of it is
guided imagery into the root caused, the reason, the why
this showed up in my life in the first place.
And so and with that, what we do is we
guide you back to three scenes that all have to
(19:12):
do with the cause of your issue. So whether your
issue is anxiety or worse sadness or grief and loss
or performance. Like I worked with someone the other day
who just had a fear of putting herself out there.
She has a business and she wanted to go live,
and she had a fear of putting herself out there
(19:34):
because what it came down to was a fear of rejection.
And all three of her scenes were about events where
she felt rejected. One of them went all the way
back to being born, knowing that her father didn't want
to have a child. And did she know that consciously, yes,
did she know that that was what was feeding her fear. Now,
when she did this process, she found out the why,
(19:57):
and then with the why, the next step is to
interrupt it, to break it up. Right, So we might say,
for example, that's not me because my father loves me.
Now I see it every day, right, that's not me
because he shows up for me.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Right.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
It's because a lot of what we have is subconscious. Right,
because you had talked about that how we get programmed
to survive. We see threats everywhere, and so we don't
always understand or know what programming has gone in because
sometimes it's very subtle. Like I think I shared with
(20:38):
you one time, David, that I thought I was supposed
to like everybody, right, and so if I think I'm
supposed to like everybody, what that did was it turned
me into a people pleaser, a bit of a chameleon,
afraid to share my opinions and thoughts. Now this was
many years ago, and then through a process of learning
the why was I'm supposed to like everybody. I had
(21:00):
a very clear memory of my mom telling me, with
her finger wagging, don't talk about your friends that way
because you need to like everybody. Wow and so and
so that belief went into my system and then not
knowing it was there, I just acted on it. And
then of course that's not always true, because some people
(21:20):
are not safe for you, are not good for you, right,
And that this allowed me to, you know, be more
discerning in the relationships that I had once I had
that figured out. So that's what our TT does does
It helps you figure out how long is this and
now we're going to have to two hours? Okay, and
then and then it's amazingly done like uh, and it
(21:44):
may take one to three sessions because sometimes there's more
than one part of the experience that is troubling. So
for example, if someone was afraid of the water, like
you know, going to the ocean, right, you might be
able to work that clear that up. And I always say,
if you work on something and you get it cleared,
(22:05):
it doesn't make you become the fool. You're not going
to go jump off the deep end of the diving
board into the deep end of the pool because you're
not afraid of water, You're just going to be able
to walk around the pool without fear of falling in.
And so you might work on that issue and they're
great around the pool, they're great around the ocean, but
(22:25):
they get near a river where it's muddy and dirty.
Now they're finding that they're afraid again. So sometimes it's
like that, you might have to hit the one or
two reveins of what else.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Might be going on. So are you still doing your
other bouncing practice or is this what you're doing moving
into full time?
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I am. I'm finishing up with my other practice. I'm
working towards like I think I told you, I have
clients that I've done one or two sessions of RTT
with that I've been working with for a long time,
and it's clearing it and so suddenly they're canceling their
appointments because they're feeling so good they they're not needing
it nice And so that's my goal is to the
(23:05):
practice that I have help everybody get to where they
need to be, and then move forward doing this as
my clinical practice. I'll still run my agency. There's lots
of other things to do in it. Right, but my
therapy is going.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
To be this and this is this is pre much
over zoom.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Correct, it's over zoom or in person if you're you know,
if you're in the area, or if you want to
fly me anywhere, I'll be. I'll come.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
But you live in nowhere, nobody's around you.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Where do you live?
Speaker 3 (23:33):
I do live in rural Maine, right, help is your town?
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Eight thousand?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (23:40):
So anyway, it's a way. It's almost to the Canadian border, right.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
I'm right on the Yeah, there's one town over and
we're in Canada.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Right.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
I can get to Canada in twenty minutes, so you
are north.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
So well, dev thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
I know from the last podcast that you don't have
a website yet, but you gave out your phone number
and your email. If you could give that art again,
we'll put it on the show notes.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Absolutely. It's two zero seven six one three six six
zero five and the email is d Gray d g R.
A y At life by design he is, and Peter
as an Apple gott Neat All right.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well again, thank you.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I know we just touched the tip of the iceberg today,
but in general, Dep's come through quite a journey. She's
developed a very fine home set of skills as far
as deal with adversity. She also knows how to enjoy yourself,
which are the two basic parts of healing. And so
deb thank you very much for being on the show.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Oh, thank you, David.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
This has been a real pleasure and it's always a
joy to see you. And I wish you luck in
all the work that you're doing, because you really are
making a difference. She made a difference in my life
and I know you're making a difference in the world.
So I appreciate you so much.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I'd like to thank our yes dev Gray for being
on the show today and explaining the principles and techniques
of rapid transformational therapy and how they contribute to the
healing process. I'm your host, Tom Masters, reminding you to
be back next week for another episode of Back in
Control Radio with doctor David Hanscombe, and in the meantime,
(25:20):
be sure to visit the website at www dot backincontrol
dot com.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Thanks for listening today and join us next week for
Back in Control Reading
Hello, and welcome to Back in Control Radio with Doctor
David Hanscombe.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hello everybody, and welcome to another episode of Back in
Control Radio with Doctor David Hanscomb. I'm your host, Tom Masters,
and our guest today is Deborah Gray. She's a therapist
and business owner with two master's degrees in clinical social
work and mind body Medicine. Having dealt with and transcended
her own difficult circumstances, she has made a career out
(00:39):
of helping others live a life by design. She is
now using rapid transformational therapy to quickly bring joy back
into the lives of her clients.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Welcome, Thank you, Tom, deb welcome back to the podcast.
You're just deb Gray in the first podcast, and she's
some way I've known for many years since.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
You thought was thirteen. And she has two.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Master's degree in clinical social work and mind body Medicine.
She's been through a lot of difficult circumstances and I
met her a workshop in the America Institute in ride Back,
New York. Is a five day workshop, and we talked
about the first podcast how deb started to learn. Came
to a second workshop. To make a long story short,
she went pretty much to pain free in about oh,
(01:24):
probably twelve months, I would say, Dev, is that about right?
So Dev shared her story in the first podcast, but
I really want her to share today is what she's
doing now moving forward, because a lot of the concepts
that we thought about ten years ago now becoming more
clear in our minds. And so dev'zell learned a process
called rapid transfornational therapy to quickly bring joy back into
(01:46):
the lives of those who suffer. And we're going to
talk about how that evolved for her, what she's doing now,
and I'm just I'm excited about her journey in general.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
So Dan, welcome back to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Thank you, David.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
I'm glad to be here.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
So devis use lots of different tools, and I'm going
to start this out by delineating a process I call
deep healing as opposed to self help. And it says, well,
you would think, well, isn't that the same thing, Well
it's not.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
So.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
When your body's in fight or flight what we call
it threat physology, your body breaks down, but you need
fight or flight to stay alive, in other words, just
a challenge to stay alive. We're all competing for resources.
It takes energy to do that, which means adrenaline, corrasol,
inflammatory sided kinds. Your brain's on fire, your brain's on
high alert. So we know sustain chronic stress i e.
(02:41):
Sustained fight or flight breaks the body down. Deep healing
occurs when you have time to rest in between. So
with chronic stress, you have no time to rest and regenerate.
So what you do, you're training your body to go
more into safety physiology and less than threat. You're never
going to get rid of threat physology, otherwise you wouldn't
stay alive. So the whole concept of deep healing is
(03:05):
you learn to get your body more safty physiology or
less fight or flight, and your body heals itself. What
self help does says well, I don't like pain. I
want to get rid of it. If I have all
these tools to fight the pain, I'm going to somehow
feel better. Unfortunately, the pain's running the show. And by
literally inadvertently fighting the pain, you actually make things more inflammatory.
(03:30):
So what deb and I have come across inadvertently, even
though I need the language, is becoming more clearly that you,
as you learn self calming tools that are int inflammatory,
help your rest and regenerate your body heals itself. So
again that means you have to learn to be with
the pain, to train yourself not to react to the pain.
That includes mental pain and physical pain. And you're going
(03:53):
to react, that's the end stain. But how long do
you want to stay in that reaction? So you learn
to regulate your bodies chemistry in a way that allows
you to be in more safety and in less fight
or flight. We call that deep healing, and self help
processes help, but they don't help by themselves. It's sort
of a combination of self help processes that allow you
to get into deep healing. So the learning processes on
(04:17):
the skills, not on the pains, on the skills about
how do I process adversity and how do I nurture joy?
The two separate skill sets. They're linked, but they're separate.
You can't really nurture joy if you're in fight or flight.
You have to let the fight or flight do his thing.
You do your thing over here with the conscious brain,
it said, dynamic process occurs every day, all day long,
(04:38):
back and forth. So deb in her own way has
learned how to do this and.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
She has thrived at a really nice level right.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
I have, I would say I'm one of the most
resilient people I know.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Right, So right, and let me ask you a question.
And this is something that's hit my brain about three
months ago. Says, somehow people feel that they should be
free your pain, that they should not be in pain, right.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Right, Okay, there's the first mistake, right, because it's a
thinking error, right right, Because if we think anything, if
we think should, it automatically is going to either if
we're shoulding someone else, we're going to be disappointed, angry
or hurt by what they're shoulding to do and they
didn't do it. If we should ourselves, we feel guilt
(05:27):
and depression. So that's that's our that's the basis of
cognitive berial therapy, is is our thinking. So we you know,
there's some language around that that can help. But that
was that's the first mistake. Is when we start we
should be out of pain, right, we're already inflaming ourselves.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
So if you the only way you're going to be
out of pain if you are dead, not alive. I mean,
your body is designed to look for danger pain, just
as danger and danger exists every day all around us,
both mental and physical By the way, mental pain is
process in a similar manner to physical pain, and it hurts.
So we have a big problem to deal with mental pain.
Physical pain is there every day, so the pain is
(06:08):
always going to be unpleasant. That's not the goal here.
The goal is to but when you get angry about
being and pain, that's when your nervous system really fires up.
So you and I talked a little bit before this
podcast about affirmations, which by themselves are sort of deadly,
but we came up with a different set of concepts
(06:31):
which we don't have a word for yet.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
You want to explain that a little bit, sure, So
we were talking about how if we just say I'm okay,
but that's not helpful, and you and you were explaining
why that's not helpful, and I was telling you about
affirmations that I use are used in a way to
help me go down the rabbit hole into positivity. So,
(06:54):
for example, if I'm feeling attacked, I would use language
in my head. I don't even say it a lout.
I just think I'm surrounded by people who love and
support me, and that rabbit hole looks like I'm thinking
about my grandchildren. I'm thinking about the people I care about.
I'm thinking about who I might call that could give
me some words of encouragement, and that leads me into
(07:17):
that direction of positivity, which is anti inflammatory.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Right, because the other choices is to complain. And let's
talk about that just for a second, because I want
to get to your rapid transformational therapy pretty quickly. But
one of the cardinal rules that we learned at OMEGA,
and it was just evolving when you were there the
first year or the second year, but one of the
absolutes that we have found out as far as healing
(07:41):
from chronic pain is never discussing your pain. No discussion
your medical care, no complaining, no negativity, no giving unasked
for advice, no criticism. Because we do that a lot
is human beings. We judge, we complain, We go into
the victim role. And so until you can actually just
flat out stop negative conversation, you just cannot heal because
(08:03):
that input changes your body's chemistry to fight or flight.
So can you go a little bit more detail again
about the neuro linguistic programming, about how has you change
your language actually changing your physiology.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Yes, so I actually learned this from a woman named
Yvonne Oswald who wrote a book Every Word Has Power, okay,
and I went to a nine day training with her, okay,
And a good part of it was neuro linguistic programming,
which is basically how language hits your nervous system.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Right.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
So if I say to my staff we've got a
big problem, they automatically feel it in their chest, you know,
they catch a breath, right, and that inflames the nervous system.
If I say we have an opportunity to make some
good changes here that can make things easier, well, there's
no physical reaction to that. So I have learned over
(08:54):
time and through that process. We actually spent nine days.
There were twelve of us, and we used high end
energy language and we call it was called the switch game,
and it's in her book it's just the switch game.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Switch game.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
So we're actually practicing on each other switching language. So
if I heard you, David, say, you know, I'm just
really tired, I would say switch, And then you would
have to come up with a language that was higher energy.
And we know it's higher energy because if you put
it into Google and a lot of negative stories come up,
that's not the high energy, there's something positive comes up,
(09:29):
you know you're right on track, So you might say instead,
you know, I'm not having much energy today, or I'm
feeling like I could really use a good night's sleep,
right And those are both positive and they hit your
body differently, and you could probably explain chemically and physically
why that happens. At my level, I think it happens
(09:51):
because if I'm thinking thoughts that are not healthy are say,
I've already switching my language that might be considered less
I positive. It might cause me to get muscle tension,
or it might cause my stomach to get upset, or
my heart to be faster, right so, and and with
all of that, or to release the adrenaline, a stress hormone,
(10:15):
right so, So, language actually helped is one of my tools.
It's one of my major tools. And changing my thought
processing is something I just do naturally now, like it
just happens. Like if I hear I was telling you,
if I hear someone cough in the next stle over
at Walmart, my my brain immediately says to myself, I'm
healthy and full of energy. Just a reminder that positive
(10:38):
way of looking at life and calming my nervous system.
So I'm not because if I went into that whole
thought of oh what if they have COVID and there's
probably COVID all over here and look at all the
germs and what did I touch? And now I've created
the anxiety. I've created the inflammation all.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Right inadvertently, which you've done by being on high alart.
You've actually compromised your main system. It's so backwards, right,
It's all backwards. So but yeah, So the emphasis is
on the tools and a positive vision. And one of
my more major mentors is pointed out there we're mostly
programmed by negativity. We have lots of things we should
(11:19):
shouldn't be. We're programmed by who everyone else thinks we
should be. So who are we? I mean, who are we?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Actually?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
So the brain is programmable, So you have a lifetime
or program that.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
You can't change.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
You cannot change it, which you can separate from it
and actually program in whoever you want going forward. So
when we talk about positive affirmations, that's one thing to
reassure yourself that you're okay, because you really reinforce the
fact that I'm not okay. But really having a positive
vision and sticking with it and either composedly do this.
(11:53):
I can achieve this. I can do this. I'm surrounded
by family and friends. That's a different energy than just
constantly reassuring yourself. So ongoing to reassurance is a huge problem.
Creating a vision and reinforcing that vision is a huge
factor in achieving a number one, but also major factor
in your body's chemistry. So let's jump into this rapid
(12:15):
transformational therapy. You're pretty excited about that, so I talk
about that. So let's talk about that.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
So this is something I just learned, and I went
to Los Angeles in June and trained under Recipeer who
is in the UK and she has a number of
books out. You can find her on YouTube. But I
actually came across it because I was listening to a
podcast and they were talking about how she had healed
herself from cancer and she had this method called direct
(12:44):
instruct command, compel and code body back to help. So
that's how I.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Can you repeat that?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Can you repeat that again a little bit more slowly?
Speaker 4 (12:52):
I sure can. It's my excitement, David.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
This that's why we're here.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
So it's instruct command, compel and code, and it all
has to do again with our brains are so amazing
in order to heal ourselves right like. And so anyway,
I've been trained and I came back and since I've
been back since June, I've done fifty five sessions now
(13:21):
and I'm seeing results in people that I've worked with
off and on for years or maybe even consecutively for years,
finding huge major changes. So one of the biggest changes
I've seen is with a gentleman that I've been working with,
and in twenty sixteen, he was taking a medication that
(13:43):
started with that tart of dyskinesia, the movements, the hand movements,
and then it got worse and it became tard of
tourettes where he would have verbal outbursts one side of
his face with grimace, he would have ticks and shot.
He described it as shocks going through his body, and
he was having up to ten fifteen an hour. So
(14:04):
this is twenty sixteen. Fast forward to a few weeks ago,
twenty twenty four, and I did a session of RTT
with him. And the way it works is you use
hypnosis or guided imagery. It's very I would say the
hypnosis is very much guided imagery, and the whole process
(14:27):
is guided imagery into understanding why and how I came
to be this way, then understanding the role, the function,
the purpose and intention of having this problem, and then
it's interrupting it. So in his situation, what we did
was we looked at the events that led up to it,
(14:49):
which was a medication change. It also took him back
to another situation with his dad. His dad had a
neurological disorder, so he had a memory around that, so
we address that, okay, So moving forward to eight years,
I did an RTT session with him and using the
(15:10):
tools of RTT, and after one session.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Can you what tools are those?
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Is it RGT, RTT Rapid transformational therapy it okay? And
specifically one piece of it is called command cell therapy,
where we actually talked to the brain the mind and
ask it to go back to its original imprint and
go back to that part of itself that knows how
(15:39):
to heal and what we need to be doing. And
in the process, and we're now three weeks out, he
is reporting zero outbursts, he had ten shocks an hour,
He has had no shops, he is reporting that he's
social again. His sister and his best friend are saying,
(16:03):
we have our brother and friend back. And he has
very minimal tremors compared to tremors and shakes that would
literally reel him back and I would hear his next
snap and he would be in this pain. And he
has the grimacing has almost completely stopped. He can actually
(16:25):
feel it coming on and relax his face. So he
has none of the pain issues related to what he
was going through. And we're both just amazed and blown
away and excited and happy for him that that has happened.
And so and so I've been using it for a
lot of a lot of things physical and emotional. Another
(16:48):
client has a tumor that was causing them to wake
up in the night and chronic pain, you know, and
pain different positions would cause the pain. We did this
two weeks ago go today and I spoke with her
this morning and she's sleeping through the night. The pain
isn't completely gone, it's not waking her up at night,
(17:09):
and she had not slept through the night since January.
And so she's just totally amazed and she's kind of
excited to see what's going to happen when she actually
gets her next scan on the tumor itself, because she
is finding that she's feeling better.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
So let me back up just for a second. So
did you state those words again that this process consists.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Of Yeah, So what it is is it's hypnosis, okay,
which I also I.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Do want to say one thing by hypnosis because I
didn't find out in Seattle that menic hypnosis is very powerful.
People who hear the word that hypnosis and just shut down.
So correct me if I'm wrong. It's really a very
deep guided imagery relaxation.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
That's exactly what it is, right, And I and I
have friends and family who would be concerned about that
from a spiritual basis, And it's easily easily adaptable to
just relax right, right, We're just relaxing. And truly the
idea is is that when you can get into a
relaxed state of mind, you can access part of your
(18:13):
brain that you don't access when you're overthinking. We all
know that, right, I.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Can I dump the physiology in here for a second,
I'd love it. So when you're not relaxed, you're in
fight or flight, the blood supply goes from your thinking
brain into the limbic brain, or the fear brain, and
you actually cannot It's not that you can't I don't
want to think clearly, you actually cannot think clearly. Performance
goes down, Athletic performance goes down, students' scores go down,
(18:41):
and anxiety goes up. So you actually have a shift
in the activity in the brain, including the blood flow,
so you cannot access it. So deep relaxation is a
way of getting your brain, your brain back online.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
That fair statement, that's crazy, Yeah, that's exactly it. And
then what happens is the next part of it is
guided imagery into the root caused, the reason, the why
this showed up in my life in the first place.
And so and with that, what we do is we
guide you back to three scenes that all have to
(19:12):
do with the cause of your issue. So whether your
issue is anxiety or worse sadness or grief and loss
or performance. Like I worked with someone the other day
who just had a fear of putting herself out there.
She has a business and she wanted to go live,
and she had a fear of putting herself out there
(19:34):
because what it came down to was a fear of rejection.
And all three of her scenes were about events where
she felt rejected. One of them went all the way
back to being born, knowing that her father didn't want
to have a child. And did she know that consciously, yes,
did she know that that was what was feeding her fear. Now,
when she did this process, she found out the why,
(19:57):
and then with the why, the next step is to
interrupt it, to break it up. Right, So we might say,
for example, that's not me because my father loves me.
Now I see it every day, right, that's not me
because he shows up for me.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Right.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
It's because a lot of what we have is subconscious. Right,
because you had talked about that how we get programmed
to survive. We see threats everywhere, and so we don't
always understand or know what programming has gone in because
sometimes it's very subtle. Like I think I shared with
(20:38):
you one time, David, that I thought I was supposed
to like everybody, right, and so if I think I'm
supposed to like everybody, what that did was it turned
me into a people pleaser, a bit of a chameleon,
afraid to share my opinions and thoughts. Now this was
many years ago, and then through a process of learning
the why was I'm supposed to like everybody. I had
(21:00):
a very clear memory of my mom telling me, with
her finger wagging, don't talk about your friends that way
because you need to like everybody. Wow and so and
so that belief went into my system and then not
knowing it was there, I just acted on it. And
then of course that's not always true, because some people
(21:20):
are not safe for you, are not good for you, right,
And that this allowed me to, you know, be more
discerning in the relationships that I had once I had
that figured out. So that's what our TT does does
It helps you figure out how long is this and
now we're going to have to two hours? Okay, and
then and then it's amazingly done like uh, and it
(21:44):
may take one to three sessions because sometimes there's more
than one part of the experience that is troubling. So
for example, if someone was afraid of the water, like
you know, going to the ocean, right, you might be
able to work that clear that up. And I always say,
if you work on something and you get it cleared,
(22:05):
it doesn't make you become the fool. You're not going
to go jump off the deep end of the diving
board into the deep end of the pool because you're
not afraid of water, You're just going to be able
to walk around the pool without fear of falling in.
And so you might work on that issue and they're
great around the pool, they're great around the ocean, but
(22:25):
they get near a river where it's muddy and dirty.
Now they're finding that they're afraid again. So sometimes it's
like that, you might have to hit the one or
two reveins of what else.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Might be going on. So are you still doing your
other bouncing practice or is this what you're doing moving
into full time?
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I am. I'm finishing up with my other practice. I'm
working towards like I think I told you, I have
clients that I've done one or two sessions of RTT
with that I've been working with for a long time,
and it's clearing it and so suddenly they're canceling their
appointments because they're feeling so good they they're not needing
it nice And so that's my goal is to the
(23:05):
practice that I have help everybody get to where they
need to be, and then move forward doing this as
my clinical practice. I'll still run my agency. There's lots
of other things to do in it. Right, but my
therapy is going.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
To be this and this is this is pre much
over zoom.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Correct, it's over zoom or in person if you're you know,
if you're in the area, or if you want to
fly me anywhere, I'll be. I'll come.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
But you live in nowhere, nobody's around you.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Where do you live?
Speaker 3 (23:33):
I do live in rural Maine, right, help is your town?
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Eight thousand?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (23:40):
So anyway, it's a way. It's almost to the Canadian border, right.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
I'm right on the Yeah, there's one town over and
we're in Canada.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Right.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
I can get to Canada in twenty minutes, so you
are north.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
So well, dev thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
I know from the last podcast that you don't have
a website yet, but you gave out your phone number
and your email. If you could give that art again,
we'll put it on the show notes.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Absolutely. It's two zero seven six one three six six
zero five and the email is d Gray d g R.
A y At life by design he is, and Peter
as an Apple gott Neat All right.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well again, thank you.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I know we just touched the tip of the iceberg today,
but in general, Dep's come through quite a journey. She's
developed a very fine home set of skills as far
as deal with adversity. She also knows how to enjoy yourself,
which are the two basic parts of healing. And so
deb thank you very much for being on the show.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Oh, thank you, David.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
This has been a real pleasure and it's always a
joy to see you. And I wish you luck in
all the work that you're doing, because you really are
making a difference. She made a difference in my life
and I know you're making a difference in the world.
So I appreciate you so much.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I'd like to thank our yes dev Gray for being
on the show today and explaining the principles and techniques
of rapid transformational therapy and how they contribute to the
healing process. I'm your host, Tom Masters, reminding you to
be back next week for another episode of Back in
Control Radio with doctor David Hanscombe, and in the meantime,
(25:20):
be sure to visit the website at www dot backincontrol
dot com.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Thanks for listening today and join us next week for
Back in Control Reading
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