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August 7, 2025 5 mins
Is there something communication-related in your own life that you're struggling with or would like advice on? If so, message us that concern either on Facebook (@EffectiveCommunicationwithPhil) or on Twitter (@Effective_Comm) and Phil will dedicate an episode to solving that problem!
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
And now effective communication with Phil Zeller, CEO Dale Carnegie, Southwest, Michigan.
So I've decided to pull some weeds from the garden. Yes,
my friends, keeping weeds out of your garden is always
a great thing to do, isn't it. Well, my mother
always said to me, she goes, you know, treat your

(00:21):
brain like it's a garden, and make sure you fertilize it,
and make sure you give it good plant food, and
make sure you water it, and make sure that you
pull the weeds out. So you're probably asking yourself, what
is Phil talking about effective communication? Pulling the weeds out
of the garden of life is where I'm talking about,
my friends. I couldn't help myself. I did it. I've

(00:42):
got a confession to make to you. I know some
of you been listening to me for several years, and
I do have to make a confession all of you today,
whether this is your first time listening or you've been
listening to us for years. Here. I appreciate you being
here with this as an honor and privilege for me
to be with you and share wisdom of the world
with you here around the world. You know, I was
looking at my social media feed the other day. And

(01:04):
I don't know how often you check your feeds, but
you see stuff coming in. And I saw some people
posting negative stuff and it was very demeaning of other people,
and it was negative. And once in a while, people
do that because they're venting. I get it. Sometimes people
vent they don't know how to communicate, so they just
vent hoping that somebody will listen to them. But when

(01:24):
you start to see a pattern of a person posting
stuff that's negative and negative of other people, it really
gets to the point where those people you realize they're
unhappy people and though we want to help them, we
can't help them unless they want help. And we've talked
about that before in communication and in the show and
working with people, because that's what we're working with. So

(01:45):
you owe it to yourself to go through your social
media feed and if you consistently see some negative stuff
in there, you just basically have to stop that feed
from coming your way because that feed is going to
bring that negativity into your life, and that negativity is
not going to make your life better. So that's my

(02:05):
confession to you. I've been limiting some people's messages to
myself that are less than constructive because they're just destructive.
They're negative, they're attacking about other people. And when you
attack people like that, it doesn't make the world a
better place. Unfortunately, it does the debt opposite. Dale Carnegie

(02:27):
talked a lot about this. He started this out in
all of his research, and it was really interesting because
and how to win friends and influence people, there's only
one chapter and the whole book that tells you what
not to do, and what he shares with you not
to do with human beings is don't criticize, condemn our complain.
It's the very first thing he shares and how to

(02:49):
win friends influence people, and it is the only thing
he tells you to not do. He says, don't criticize,
condemn our complain, And one of the quotes he pulls
out of there is any fool can criticize, and most
oftentimes fools do. So you don't want to be a fool.
I don't want to be a fool. We don't want
to be seen as a negative person, bringing people down

(03:11):
and making the world more difficult than it has to be.
Last time I checked, you got enough challenges in your
life without some Yahoo screaming in your ear, some hatred
towards somebody else in this world. So the point being
here is don't criticize condemic complain because it's not going
to make your life any better by doing that. And
as I think about it, you know you can break

(03:33):
down criticism. And some people say to me, well, constructive
criticism is good. Well, it depends if those rules are
made up front it's constructive for both parties than it is.
But in my social media feed like yours, I wasn't
asking for their constructive criticism. They just chose to blow
some steam and be negative. And so therefore I chose

(03:54):
my right to shut that down and not have to
see that because that is not bringing any positive in
anybody's life. And there are a lot of people. I
have one friend that recently shared with me the last
several months, they've turned off the news. They're just not
watching the news because it was too much negativity. And
it's any step that you can take to remove the
negative negativity from your life. And so, as Dale Carnegie

(04:17):
shared by, don't criticize coademic complain, there's something you can
do better, and that which is better is you can
seek understanding and by focusing on what you can understand
and what difference you can make, you're actually going to
start to win people over your way of thinking. Because
if you start with negative and you keep blasting negativity
out there, what's going to happen is people are going

(04:39):
to hear that, They're going to see that, and they're
going to start to shut down because they don't want
to hear that all the time because they don't want
their life to be awful. Now, I understand, misery loves company,
So a lot of times that people are posting the
negative stuff out there, they're doing it because their life
is unhappy, They're unhappy with its going around them, and
so they share that hoping that others will jump on

(04:59):
that misery or feel that same way. So my challenge
for you is, don't criticizekademic complain, don't don't don't fill
your mind with the negativity. Do something more constructive, fill
it with positivity, pull it with attacking issues, not people,
because when you attack issues, you're focused on solving things
in the world. And won't that be a better place

(05:21):
when we can help each other make it a better world?
And it begins with us, So go ahead, weed your guard,
pull those weeds and have a happier life that Goll
make it happy.
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