February 28, 2024 • 23 mins
En este episodio, exploraremos el crucial proceso de depurar nuestro círculo cercano para potenciar nuestro bienestar y crecimiento personal.
Andrea aborda:
Transforma tu vida a través de un círculo cercano alineado con tus valores y metas.
____
Suscríbete y sé el primero en enterarte de los nuevos episodios.
No olvides compartir un screenshot y mencionar a Andrea en Instagram @soyandreapalacio o conecta con Andrea en Linkedin.
Sigue a Andrea:https://www.instagram.com/soyandreapalacio/?hl=es
El Club de Impacto es producido por Milky Wave Media.
Andrea aborda:
- Cómo identificar relaciones tóxicas y establecer límites saludables
- Aprender a priorizar e identificar conexiones que contribuyan positivamente a tu vida.
- Por qué cultivar relaciones más saludables y significativas te ayuda a cumplir con tus objetivos.
- Reconocer tu propio impacto en el círculo de alguien más
Transforma tu vida a través de un círculo cercano alineado con tus valores y metas.
____
Suscríbete y sé el primero en enterarte de los nuevos episodios.
No olvides compartir un screenshot y mencionar a Andrea en Instagram @soyandreapalacio o conecta con Andrea en Linkedin.
Sigue a Andrea:https://www.instagram.com/soyandreapalacio/?hl=es
El Club de Impacto es producido por Milky Wave Media.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to this new episode of theimpact club. I am Andrea Palacio today
with a theme that I think ifwe are talking about impact, it is
essential that we put it on thetable and there is no greater impact on
your life than your close circle.Sure. You' ve ever heard this
phrase you' re the average ofthe five people around you, said by
(00:24):
this famous entrepreneur author named Jim Ron. Well, I definitely think I'
m sure that if you' rethe average of the five people around you,
and it seems to me that that' s exactly why it shouldn'
t be a coincidence that you're just in the circle you' re
in. It seems to me thatwe must take matters into account, whether
(00:48):
you want to be aware of itor not. Or not. There are
five people in your life that areinfluencing you. Maybe you say good is
that I' m at work allday and maybe not. I don'
t see much of my friends,well, because those five people who,
even though they could be collaborators orthey could just be your own family,
(01:10):
they' re constantly there who you' re constantly seeing. Those five people
today are your close circle and they' re influencing the person you' re
becoming. Whether you want it ornot, and then suddenly it' s
like good to me. I geta little frustrated because my close circle,
which I built very carefully, whichI always liked to use, the fran
(01:34):
good word that I cured as inthe sense in which you cure a work
of art with great care that youchoose that you select it and that you
put it in its proper place,as well as a work of art.
I healed my close circle before Iemigrated to this country, Canada, in
Mexico, I healed my close circleand today, because they are my best
(01:57):
friends. But they are not necessarilymy close circle, because the closeness to
the frequency with which I speak withthem, with which I see them,
and even because the part of thedistance to say I call you and I
am here in twenty minutes to giveyou a hug. That, for it
is already impossible for me the distanceto be so. Then, of course,
(02:22):
they' re still my best friends, but I' ve already changed
the circle nearby. So it seemsto me that we must take responsibility for
the close circle that is influencing ustoday, which is influencing us today?
And so, to do a personalreflection to get together with people who lift
us up, instead of meeting withpeople who maybe, because if it doesn
(02:46):
' t give us down, becauseat least it keeps us and doesn'
t drive us, it doesn't motivate us to achieve our goals at
best. It even makes us verycomfortable to stay there, when other people
might even tickle your feet to getyou out of your comfort zone, to
try things, to experience things sothat you follow your dreams. Not then,
(03:08):
today, that' s what I' d like us to talk about.
It is a personal reflection that wemake on the quality of our close
relationships. And first of all,we have to identify who these people are
who are close to our lives.No, and as I told you a
moment ago, it can be yourfriends, your co- workers, your
(03:32):
family, and these people who arein your life today are people that you
constantly share with them pieces of yourday- to- day, that are
constantly the people with whom you exchangeyour problems, with whom you exchange things
(03:53):
that are happening to you. Forexample, if you have a pet,
if you have a cat, ifyou have a dog and something happened to
him, he got sick or something, who' s the first person in
your day to day that you're going to talk to him about that.
Who this person is. I sayI think even, for example,
in my case, in the distance, my parents are still my close circle,
(04:13):
by the frequency with which and thecloseness with which we speak. Not
then I think they could count onmy close circle, but somehow there will
always be limits to what they cando for me from the distance we have.
So, it' s happened tome that I' ve been in
(04:34):
jobs where I don' t necessarilyconsider the people around me to be my
friends, but just because of thefrequency, I tell them what you think.
My cat got sick, my doggot sick, and little by little
it seemed like we started bonding withthese people, not necessarily because we shared
values, but because again we seeeach other constantly and start to create a
(05:00):
bond. Then I have some questionsabove all to assess if your close circle
is influencing you. Well, it' s influencing you, it' s
influencing you, but it' snegatively influencing you. And start this reflection,
okay, so I' d likeyou to go answering these questions with
me that I' m preparing foryou today. These people you consider your
(05:21):
close circle today are an emotional burden. You feel an emotional burden after interacting
with them, that is, whenyou interact with these people that you think
are your close circle and you walkaway and take distance, you feel like
(05:41):
some kind of wear, yes,honor, you consider that these people share
your same scale of values, youfeel that there is some kind of pressure,
not depression, a kind of pressurespace to adopt some behaviors that you
(06:04):
might not do if it wasn't for them. You think there'
s reciprocity in that relationship, thatis, that you feel that you receive
in the same way, maybe notin the same way, but you'
(06:26):
re also getting something from that relationshipor you' re just him or the
one giving gives given and maybe you' re not feeling that that relationship contributes
you admire the habits of these people. When you share something and you get
(06:51):
a review, it' s usuallyconstructive or mostly negative, you feel accepted
as you think it can be completelyauthentic. You can show yourself maybe not
in your best version. Well,I think if you answered some questions you
(07:19):
might start having some flagnets or alertsin your head to tell you if I
' m on the right track orI' m not on the right track.
And let me tell you a fewfacts that surprised me a lot about
a research I did on this topicabout the relationship of the close circle and
(07:41):
our habits, particularly that in thenineteen thousand, a study from the University
of California was following more than 2, 000 participants for five years. They
were studying and collecting information and werepractically evaluating how much their environment or social
influence their habits, and they specializedin the part of healthy eating and physical
(08:07):
activity, and the results were asfollows. People have ninety- five,
nine, five, ninety- five, more than percent chance of adopting healthy
habits if their close circle also practicesthem, that is, it' s
practically closer to 100 percent, thatfive percent, because they' re people
(08:31):
who are the exception, but Ican practically tell you that the habits of
your close circle are the habits you' re going to have. So it
' s super important that you sharea scale of values on the subject of
things that matter to you. Andagain, maybe I' ll tell you,
(08:54):
for example, my parents. Thisis an example. I don'
t know my parents belong to myclose ass and, maybe, they don
' t have the healthy habits thatI do, that I want to have
maybe my dads. The food theme, because they love to eat super greasy,
they love garnacha, they love it, because I don' t know
(09:16):
the alcohol. And that doesn't mean they don' t support me.
It doesn' t mean I can' t trust them just in that
aspect, in the aspect of habits, because they' re not the kind
of circle I need. I thinkwe can also diversify in our close circle,
that is, my parents would belongto two of those five people close
(09:37):
to me, but I have afriend, my cousin, my boyfriend,
all of them that they do sharethat part with me and in that case,
I would go with them yes flatout none of them. Then you
might have to find yourself a circlefor your habits, so they can pull
(09:58):
those habits out. I think itwould be a lot easier if your close
circle shares them, because they're the ones you' re going to
want to eat with on Sundays.It' s with them who, when
it' s your birthday, you' re going to invite them. They
are the closest people to you,the closer they are to you, the
more influential they are. But I' m aware that we' re not
(10:20):
just going to throw people away.I just want you to have all the
perspective to make better decisions and takeresponsibility for people, and not want to
force them to follow what you do, not just to get together with people
(10:41):
who contribute to you and who youcan recharge to achieve the goals you want.
In fact, on the other hand, there is a report by the
National Institute of Health of the UnitedStates, of the year two thousand eighteen,
in which it was found that,since the social pressure of the nearby
Kurdish sky can also have a verysignificant impact on habits related to alcohol and
(11:07):
tobacco consumption. This means that,then, in the same way that they
can influence you for convertoludable, toexercise, because they can also influence you
for things not so negative, notso positive habits. So I' m
super pro of the idea of preachingby example and we' re going to
get to that. And in fact, also one of the most influential people
(11:30):
in your life is your partner.If you have five close friends or you
have five people belonging to your closecircle, I would dare say that if
you have a partner. That coupleis worth the place of two of those
close circles, because it has anextremely strong influence on your life, especially
(11:54):
if you live with that person.In fact, a study of two thousand
and twenty- one said that coupleswho practice healthy habits as a whole such
as physical activity, balanced eating,they stay in health longer, that is,
they can endure those habits over timefor a long time. And they
(12:16):
were examined, because habits of thehealth of couples for ten years and those
who do so together are those thathave the most effect throughout their lives.
Not then, truly the close circleour partner has an influence on our lifestyle
choices on a day- to-day basis. And, well, now
(12:39):
the next key question is how youfeel about your interactions with your close circle.
How to assess if it' snegatively influencing you I' m going
to ask you a few questions soyou can answer them as well. You
' re listening to me. Notfirst, before asking other questions, I
want you to think who you considerto be this circle close to seeing think
(13:01):
one or two, three, fouror five who these people are? I
' m not telling you who yourfive best friends are I' m telling
you who these five people are thatyou have conversations with in your day-
to- day, that they're present in your day- to-
day, that you have exchanges with, that you' re going to talk
(13:24):
to if something happened to your catthat morning and who I share with is
your day- to- day.Who are those five people? OK,
if you already have them in mind, help me answer these questions in your
head or if you want out loudor fly thinking when you have an interaction
with some of these people and afterhaving that interaction, you feel emotional wear,
(13:50):
you feel drained or drained emotionally afterinteracting with them, you feel some
kind of pressure to adopt, somekind of behavior. You consider those relationships
to be reciprocal, that is,not only are you bringing value to that
(14:15):
person, but you are also receivingperhaps not in the same way but you
are receiving value from those relationships.You think these people respect your personal limits.
You admire the habits and decisions ofthese people when they criticize you mostly
(14:37):
are constructive or negative and you finallyfeel authentic or authentic and accepted or accepted
by these people. Just as you' re good, because I think it
(14:58):
' s important to set healthy limits. I' m not saying that you
should cut the relationship completely with peopleyou might be realizing today that we'
re fooling into your life, butit seems to me that it' s
important that you put them in theirproper category. I' m going to
tell you that there was a timein my life when I had a group
(15:22):
that considered my close circle and itwas a group of friends that I openly
loved, I truly loved and lovedthem and all the time I assumed that
I was part of that close circlebecause I loved them. No, and
there was a time when I realizedthat, maybe, I was the only
(15:43):
one who considered me to be closecircle and they looked at me in a
category, because different, not assimply, because as a friendship and the
relationship was not equal to reciprocal.The relationship, maybe I wasn' t
doing so much and I was tooinvested in that circle when I said there
(16:08):
are other people I' m seeingwho are really my friends And so behaves
a friendship that truly reciprocated almost behavesa friendship that really wants me to seek
my growth. And these other peopleI say are that I say out loud,
they are my close circle, becauseI don' t see that same
(16:30):
behavior. No, then it doesn' t mean that I cut them off
my life forever. It just meansI did a reorganization in the category,
which I had in my head.I just think it' s important,
because I was going with these peopleto tell them my successes, my problems,
and maybe they weren' t theright people for that. So I
(16:55):
just put them in my ok categorynow they' re gonna be, because
my friends. No need for myclose circle. So, and I think
that can also apply for even familymembers, because sometimes necessarily because they are
our family does not mean that becausethey will support us and they will be
the healthiest people or our cheerleaders inour day to day. There are times
(17:18):
when it is necessary, therefore,to put healthy limits that protect our emotional
well- being and, therefore,to move away from situations that retain us
energy and prioritize our own peace ofmind, our own happiness. Then I
' d tell you to recategorize therelationships you have to recategorize seems tongue-
(17:45):
tight and fosters positive relationships. Turnto see who these people are who,
if they have been there, yes, have shown you friendship, if they
have shown you that, because theyshare the same scale of values, that
yes, they have deserved you,that you give them a promotion and that
they come closer to you that theycome closer to you that influence you more
that inspire you to challenge you alsopositively because there is so much category of
(18:10):
relationships that we can have and itseems to me that the close circle should
be characterized not only because you arethe mentor of someone, but that person
can also contribute something to you.I positively challenge you to connect with people
who share your values, share yourgoals and gradually create an environment in which
they can thrive on both sides.It doesn' t mean that all of
(18:36):
these people have to get together anddo as a board of advice, and
maybe they won' t be friendsor friends with each other, but they
are the sum of who you wantto be. I mean, if I
have turned to see the five peoplearound me and I say I could say,
I could be happy to say myfive people add up to a percentage
(19:00):
of who I am. If onlyyou could, if I could share with
someone who I am, but theonly information I can give you about me
is what the five people close tome are like. I' d be
happy with that, I mean,I could be happy that someone else would
infuse me as I am from myfive closest relationships. I think I could
(19:23):
say yes. Then that' sthe way it would be, we'
d have to feel calm. ThenI' m also going to ask you
other questions so that you can distinguishwho' s in your life and that
you can get closer to becoming partof your close circle. And I love
it because who you trust to shareyour successes and achievements because there are people
(19:45):
with whom, curiously, we canget along just when we' re wrong,
but when we' re good,when when we don' t need
a savior anymore and we can beokay like they don' t like it
so much anymore, then who youcan share your successes with and it'
s really going to make him happyfor you. I remember when I got
(20:06):
my acceptance letter to the college whereI studied here in Canada, a friend
sent me a medium crying this happybecause I knew it was my dream.
Then I said and right at thatmoment I was doing that reorganisation of friendships
and when my close circle in quotationmarks dented that, he didn' t
(20:26):
tell me anything. So quiet credits. No one told me anything at all.
And when my friend sent me avideo, crying of the happiness that
gives her to know that I amgoing to fulfill my dream, I say
look at what comparison, to whomI have to approach me and to whom
I would have to stop calling myclose circle. Not that' s important,
well, and also who' sin your most difficult moments, that
(20:49):
' s to say, to bein the buelas, in the good ones,
in the bad ones. With whomyou feel, how, how it
gives, being authentic, who inspiresyou to be a better person as I
tell you, it' s notjust something to go, but it'
s back and forth. You alsohave to be better and do better to
(21:11):
that relationship with which you call theclose circle. With whom you share your
scale of values is that I thinkit' s pretty obvious. I think
we always know. I think it' s easy to recognize when someone has
the same scale of values as me, who challenges you constructively, that is,
what they tell you we' regoing to stop at that exercise.
(21:34):
Let' s go, let's go. Come on, good,
okay, then you say good,okay. Yeah. I' m not
going. Who have shown you theirloyalty over time. With whom you feel
at peace, that you are notdrained of energy and this is my favorite,
with whom you know that you willnot be received and respected. I
(21:59):
mean, it' s a loteasier to recognize who' s a person
who deserves to be in your closecircle when you set a limit and respect
it when you say no. I' m not drinking, I' m
not smoking. I' m notgonna do this when you say no or
or you just know what. I' m so tired. I' m
(22:19):
very tired, I' m notgoing to the party and I' m
not going to you and they won' t come back and tell you now,
don' t get twenty and howthat bothers me, I mean who
you can say no to and I' m going to get you no and
(22:41):
I' m going to respect youno ufff that' s I think that
' s super key and good.Before concluding this episode of so much reflection,
I also want to put another reflectionon your head, and that is
that you too be aware of yourown impact. You also belong to someone
' s close circle and so farwe' ve only talked about what they
give you. But you' resomeone' s close circle, too.
(23:03):
Then you too would have to getto the level of searching, as literally
as when you' re looking fora partner, be the couple you want
to be. I think that phrasewas very complicated to say, but you
know what I mean. Don't also be someone who has a positive
impact on others, who truly inspiresothers, challenges others, helps others,
(23:26):
challenges, supports, gets excited aboutthe success of others. You consider yourself
a positive source of support, motivation. You also become aware and responsible for
the role you have in your relationshipsand work to do something positive in the
lives of others, to have apositive impact on the lives of others.
(23:49):
I hope this episode has been areflection for you to think about. I
' ve been doing a few depurationslately and there are times that depuration is
extreme and if you say let's get out of here ducks on the
street, I already knew what youwere like and it' s going to
(24:10):
bye- bye. But there aretimes you say uff like I thought,
that I thought you were this wayand you already showed me that, maybe
we don' t necessarily share thesame scale of values. But that doesn
' t mean you' re gonnacut them off forever. I am simply
more fan of reorganizing our friendships,recategorizing and the people you think have this
(24:34):
so, this tuning and because thisvalue for you to promote them as your
closest friends and that you start tolive more with them and that you start
to promote that relationship a lot.I think that, yes, to promote
them the people who are already there, who you know are there, to
(24:57):
promote them and the people who deserveme to take away the title and put
them in the category, because itplays also does that. I recommend it
very well, because we listen nextWednesday and I hope this will serve you
a lot. Remember that I alwayslove reading you in the comments. I
' ll send you a kiss.We hear each other on the next oh
(25:19):
and remember the impact you want tosee in the world until the next look.
What a wey I can think of.
Welcome to this new episode of theimpact club. I am Andrea Palacio today
with a theme that I think ifwe are talking about impact, it is
essential that we put it on thetable and there is no greater impact on
your life than your close circle.Sure. You' ve ever heard this
phrase you' re the average ofthe five people around you, said by
(00:24):
this famous entrepreneur author named Jim Ron. Well, I definitely think I'
m sure that if you' rethe average of the five people around you,
and it seems to me that that' s exactly why it shouldn'
t be a coincidence that you're just in the circle you' re
in. It seems to me thatwe must take matters into account, whether
(00:48):
you want to be aware of itor not. Or not. There are
five people in your life that areinfluencing you. Maybe you say good is
that I' m at work allday and maybe not. I don'
t see much of my friends,well, because those five people who,
even though they could be collaborators orthey could just be your own family,
(01:10):
they' re constantly there who you' re constantly seeing. Those five people
today are your close circle and they' re influencing the person you' re
becoming. Whether you want it ornot, and then suddenly it' s
like good to me. I geta little frustrated because my close circle,
which I built very carefully, whichI always liked to use, the fran
(01:34):
good word that I cured as inthe sense in which you cure a work
of art with great care that youchoose that you select it and that you
put it in its proper place,as well as a work of art.
I healed my close circle before Iemigrated to this country, Canada, in
Mexico, I healed my close circleand today, because they are my best
(01:57):
friends. But they are not necessarilymy close circle, because the closeness to
the frequency with which I speak withthem, with which I see them,
and even because the part of thedistance to say I call you and I
am here in twenty minutes to giveyou a hug. That, for it
is already impossible for me the distanceto be so. Then, of course,
(02:22):
they' re still my best friends, but I' ve already changed
the circle nearby. So it seemsto me that we must take responsibility for
the close circle that is influencing ustoday, which is influencing us today?
And so, to do a personalreflection to get together with people who lift
us up, instead of meeting withpeople who maybe, because if it doesn
(02:46):
' t give us down, becauseat least it keeps us and doesn'
t drive us, it doesn't motivate us to achieve our goals at
best. It even makes us verycomfortable to stay there, when other people
might even tickle your feet to getyou out of your comfort zone, to
try things, to experience things sothat you follow your dreams. Not then,
(03:08):
today, that' s what I' d like us to talk about.
It is a personal reflection that wemake on the quality of our close
relationships. And first of all,we have to identify who these people are
who are close to our lives.No, and as I told you a
moment ago, it can be yourfriends, your co- workers, your
(03:32):
family, and these people who arein your life today are people that you
constantly share with them pieces of yourday- to- day, that are
constantly the people with whom you exchangeyour problems, with whom you exchange things
(03:53):
that are happening to you. Forexample, if you have a pet,
if you have a cat, ifyou have a dog and something happened to
him, he got sick or something, who' s the first person in
your day to day that you're going to talk to him about that.
Who this person is. I sayI think even, for example,
in my case, in the distance, my parents are still my close circle,
(04:13):
by the frequency with which and thecloseness with which we speak. Not
then I think they could count onmy close circle, but somehow there will
always be limits to what they cando for me from the distance we have.
So, it' s happened tome that I' ve been in
(04:34):
jobs where I don' t necessarilyconsider the people around me to be my
friends, but just because of thefrequency, I tell them what you think.
My cat got sick, my doggot sick, and little by little
it seemed like we started bonding withthese people, not necessarily because we shared
values, but because again we seeeach other constantly and start to create a
(05:00):
bond. Then I have some questionsabove all to assess if your close circle
is influencing you. Well, it' s influencing you, it' s
influencing you, but it' snegatively influencing you. And start this reflection,
okay, so I' d likeyou to go answering these questions with
me that I' m preparing foryou today. These people you consider your
(05:21):
close circle today are an emotional burden. You feel an emotional burden after interacting
with them, that is, whenyou interact with these people that you think
are your close circle and you walkaway and take distance, you feel like
(05:41):
some kind of wear, yes,honor, you consider that these people share
your same scale of values, youfeel that there is some kind of pressure,
not depression, a kind of pressurespace to adopt some behaviors that you
(06:04):
might not do if it wasn't for them. You think there'
s reciprocity in that relationship, thatis, that you feel that you receive
in the same way, maybe notin the same way, but you'
(06:26):
re also getting something from that relationshipor you' re just him or the
one giving gives given and maybe you' re not feeling that that relationship contributes
you admire the habits of these people. When you share something and you get
(06:51):
a review, it' s usuallyconstructive or mostly negative, you feel accepted
as you think it can be completelyauthentic. You can show yourself maybe not
in your best version. Well,I think if you answered some questions you
(07:19):
might start having some flagnets or alertsin your head to tell you if I
' m on the right track orI' m not on the right track.
And let me tell you a fewfacts that surprised me a lot about
a research I did on this topicabout the relationship of the close circle and
(07:41):
our habits, particularly that in thenineteen thousand, a study from the University
of California was following more than 2, 000 participants for five years. They
were studying and collecting information and werepractically evaluating how much their environment or social
influence their habits, and they specializedin the part of healthy eating and physical
(08:07):
activity, and the results were asfollows. People have ninety- five,
nine, five, ninety- five, more than percent chance of adopting healthy
habits if their close circle also practicesthem, that is, it' s
practically closer to 100 percent, thatfive percent, because they' re people
(08:31):
who are the exception, but Ican practically tell you that the habits of
your close circle are the habits you' re going to have. So it
' s super important that you sharea scale of values on the subject of
things that matter to you. Andagain, maybe I' ll tell you,
(08:54):
for example, my parents. Thisis an example. I don'
t know my parents belong to myclose ass and, maybe, they don
' t have the healthy habits thatI do, that I want to have
maybe my dads. The food theme, because they love to eat super greasy,
they love garnacha, they love it, because I don' t know
(09:16):
the alcohol. And that doesn't mean they don' t support me.
It doesn' t mean I can' t trust them just in that
aspect, in the aspect of habits, because they' re not the kind
of circle I need. I thinkwe can also diversify in our close circle,
that is, my parents would belongto two of those five people close
(09:37):
to me, but I have afriend, my cousin, my boyfriend,
all of them that they do sharethat part with me and in that case,
I would go with them yes flatout none of them. Then you
might have to find yourself a circlefor your habits, so they can pull
(09:58):
those habits out. I think itwould be a lot easier if your close
circle shares them, because they're the ones you' re going to
want to eat with on Sundays.It' s with them who, when
it' s your birthday, you' re going to invite them. They
are the closest people to you,the closer they are to you, the
more influential they are. But I' m aware that we' re not
(10:20):
just going to throw people away.I just want you to have all the
perspective to make better decisions and takeresponsibility for people, and not want to
force them to follow what you do, not just to get together with people
(10:41):
who contribute to you and who youcan recharge to achieve the goals you want.
In fact, on the other hand, there is a report by the
National Institute of Health of the UnitedStates, of the year two thousand eighteen,
in which it was found that,since the social pressure of the nearby
Kurdish sky can also have a verysignificant impact on habits related to alcohol and
(11:07):
tobacco consumption. This means that,then, in the same way that they
can influence you for convertoludable, toexercise, because they can also influence you
for things not so negative, notso positive habits. So I' m
super pro of the idea of preachingby example and we' re going to
get to that. And in fact, also one of the most influential people
(11:30):
in your life is your partner.If you have five close friends or you
have five people belonging to your closecircle, I would dare say that if
you have a partner. That coupleis worth the place of two of those
close circles, because it has anextremely strong influence on your life, especially
(11:54):
if you live with that person.In fact, a study of two thousand
and twenty- one said that coupleswho practice healthy habits as a whole such
as physical activity, balanced eating,they stay in health longer, that is,
they can endure those habits over timefor a long time. And they
(12:16):
were examined, because habits of thehealth of couples for ten years and those
who do so together are those thathave the most effect throughout their lives.
Not then, truly the close circleour partner has an influence on our lifestyle
choices on a day- to-day basis. And, well, now
(12:39):
the next key question is how youfeel about your interactions with your close circle.
How to assess if it' snegatively influencing you I' m going
to ask you a few questions soyou can answer them as well. You
' re listening to me. Notfirst, before asking other questions, I
want you to think who you considerto be this circle close to seeing think
(13:01):
one or two, three, fouror five who these people are? I
' m not telling you who yourfive best friends are I' m telling
you who these five people are thatyou have conversations with in your day-
to- day, that they're present in your day- to-
day, that you have exchanges with, that you' re going to talk
(13:24):
to if something happened to your catthat morning and who I share with is
your day- to- day.Who are those five people? OK,
if you already have them in mind, help me answer these questions in your
head or if you want out loudor fly thinking when you have an interaction
with some of these people and afterhaving that interaction, you feel emotional wear,
(13:50):
you feel drained or drained emotionally afterinteracting with them, you feel some
kind of pressure to adopt, somekind of behavior. You consider those relationships
to be reciprocal, that is,not only are you bringing value to that
(14:15):
person, but you are also receivingperhaps not in the same way but you
are receiving value from those relationships.You think these people respect your personal limits.
You admire the habits and decisions ofthese people when they criticize you mostly
(14:37):
are constructive or negative and you finallyfeel authentic or authentic and accepted or accepted
by these people. Just as you' re good, because I think it
(14:58):
' s important to set healthy limits. I' m not saying that you
should cut the relationship completely with peopleyou might be realizing today that we'
re fooling into your life, butit seems to me that it' s
important that you put them in theirproper category. I' m going to
tell you that there was a timein my life when I had a group
(15:22):
that considered my close circle and itwas a group of friends that I openly
loved, I truly loved and lovedthem and all the time I assumed that
I was part of that close circlebecause I loved them. No, and
there was a time when I realizedthat, maybe, I was the only
(15:43):
one who considered me to be closecircle and they looked at me in a
category, because different, not assimply, because as a friendship and the
relationship was not equal to reciprocal.The relationship, maybe I wasn' t
doing so much and I was tooinvested in that circle when I said there
(16:08):
are other people I' m seeingwho are really my friends And so behaves
a friendship that truly reciprocated almost behavesa friendship that really wants me to seek
my growth. And these other peopleI say are that I say out loud,
they are my close circle, becauseI don' t see that same
(16:30):
behavior. No, then it doesn' t mean that I cut them off
my life forever. It just meansI did a reorganization in the category,
which I had in my head.I just think it' s important,
because I was going with these peopleto tell them my successes, my problems,
and maybe they weren' t theright people for that. So I
(16:55):
just put them in my ok categorynow they' re gonna be, because
my friends. No need for myclose circle. So, and I think
that can also apply for even familymembers, because sometimes necessarily because they are
our family does not mean that becausethey will support us and they will be
the healthiest people or our cheerleaders inour day to day. There are times
(17:18):
when it is necessary, therefore,to put healthy limits that protect our emotional
well- being and, therefore,to move away from situations that retain us
energy and prioritize our own peace ofmind, our own happiness. Then I
' d tell you to recategorize therelationships you have to recategorize seems tongue-
(17:45):
tight and fosters positive relationships. Turnto see who these people are who,
if they have been there, yes, have shown you friendship, if they
have shown you that, because theyshare the same scale of values, that
yes, they have deserved you,that you give them a promotion and that
they come closer to you that theycome closer to you that influence you more
that inspire you to challenge you alsopositively because there is so much category of
(18:10):
relationships that we can have and itseems to me that the close circle should
be characterized not only because you arethe mentor of someone, but that person
can also contribute something to you.I positively challenge you to connect with people
who share your values, share yourgoals and gradually create an environment in which
they can thrive on both sides.It doesn' t mean that all of
(18:36):
these people have to get together anddo as a board of advice, and
maybe they won' t be friendsor friends with each other, but they
are the sum of who you wantto be. I mean, if I
have turned to see the five peoplearound me and I say I could say,
I could be happy to say myfive people add up to a percentage
(19:00):
of who I am. If onlyyou could, if I could share with
someone who I am, but theonly information I can give you about me
is what the five people close tome are like. I' d be
happy with that, I mean,I could be happy that someone else would
infuse me as I am from myfive closest relationships. I think I could
(19:23):
say yes. Then that' sthe way it would be, we'
d have to feel calm. ThenI' m also going to ask you
other questions so that you can distinguishwho' s in your life and that
you can get closer to becoming partof your close circle. And I love
it because who you trust to shareyour successes and achievements because there are people
(19:45):
with whom, curiously, we canget along just when we' re wrong,
but when we' re good,when when we don' t need
a savior anymore and we can beokay like they don' t like it
so much anymore, then who youcan share your successes with and it'
s really going to make him happyfor you. I remember when I got
(20:06):
my acceptance letter to the college whereI studied here in Canada, a friend
sent me a medium crying this happybecause I knew it was my dream.
Then I said and right at thatmoment I was doing that reorganisation of friendships
and when my close circle in quotationmarks dented that, he didn' t
(20:26):
tell me anything. So quiet credits. No one told me anything at all.
And when my friend sent me avideo, crying of the happiness that
gives her to know that I amgoing to fulfill my dream, I say
look at what comparison, to whomI have to approach me and to whom
I would have to stop calling myclose circle. Not that' s important,
well, and also who' sin your most difficult moments, that
(20:49):
' s to say, to bein the buelas, in the good ones,
in the bad ones. With whomyou feel, how, how it
gives, being authentic, who inspiresyou to be a better person as I
tell you, it' s notjust something to go, but it'
s back and forth. You alsohave to be better and do better to
(21:11):
that relationship with which you call theclose circle. With whom you share your
scale of values is that I thinkit' s pretty obvious. I think
we always know. I think it' s easy to recognize when someone has
the same scale of values as me, who challenges you constructively, that is,
what they tell you we' regoing to stop at that exercise.
(21:34):
Let' s go, let's go. Come on, good,
okay, then you say good,okay. Yeah. I' m not
going. Who have shown you theirloyalty over time. With whom you feel
at peace, that you are notdrained of energy and this is my favorite,
with whom you know that you willnot be received and respected. I
(21:59):
mean, it' s a loteasier to recognize who' s a person
who deserves to be in your closecircle when you set a limit and respect
it when you say no. I' m not drinking, I' m
not smoking. I' m notgonna do this when you say no or
or you just know what. I' m so tired. I' m
(22:19):
very tired, I' m notgoing to the party and I' m
not going to you and they won' t come back and tell you now,
don' t get twenty and howthat bothers me, I mean who
you can say no to and I' m going to get you no and
(22:41):
I' m going to respect youno ufff that' s I think that
' s super key and good.Before concluding this episode of so much reflection,
I also want to put another reflectionon your head, and that is
that you too be aware of yourown impact. You also belong to someone
' s close circle and so farwe' ve only talked about what they
give you. But you' resomeone' s close circle, too.
(23:03):
Then you too would have to getto the level of searching, as literally
as when you' re looking fora partner, be the couple you want
to be. I think that phrasewas very complicated to say, but you
know what I mean. Don't also be someone who has a positive
impact on others, who truly inspiresothers, challenges others, helps others,
(23:26):
challenges, supports, gets excited aboutthe success of others. You consider yourself
a positive source of support, motivation. You also become aware and responsible for
the role you have in your relationshipsand work to do something positive in the
lives of others, to have apositive impact on the lives of others.
(23:49):
I hope this episode has been areflection for you to think about. I
' ve been doing a few depurationslately and there are times that depuration is
extreme and if you say let's get out of here ducks on the
street, I already knew what youwere like and it' s going to
(24:10):
bye- bye. But there aretimes you say uff like I thought,
that I thought you were this wayand you already showed me that, maybe
we don' t necessarily share thesame scale of values. But that doesn
' t mean you' re gonnacut them off forever. I am simply
more fan of reorganizing our friendships,recategorizing and the people you think have this
(24:34):
so, this tuning and because thisvalue for you to promote them as your
closest friends and that you start tolive more with them and that you start
to promote that relationship a lot.I think that, yes, to promote
them the people who are already there, who you know are there, to
(24:57):
promote them and the people who deserveme to take away the title and put
them in the category, because itplays also does that. I recommend it
very well, because we listen nextWednesday and I hope this will serve you
a lot. Remember that I alwayslove reading you in the comments. I
' ll send you a kiss.We hear each other on the next oh
(25:19):
and remember the impact you want tosee in the world until the next look.
What a wey I can think of.
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