Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello, this is Gabriella on the scene today with Talk
Network Radio. We have a real dread for you just
around the corner, and that is Empowered Living with Jeff Bird.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Jeff is the owner of Jeffrey for Coaching, and.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
He will be coming to you weekly to teach you
more about empowered living. Now, let's join Jeff already in
the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hello and welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
This is Jeff Bird with Jeffrey Bird Coaching, and this
is Empowered Living.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Now.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Today, we have a program that I'm very excited about,
and we're actually gonna have a little exercise for you
to do. The title of today's broadcast is are you
affected or effective? Those words sound the same, but there's
a lot of difference in them. And I remember when
(01:25):
I was a child some really good things about my dad. Now,
he's been gone since nineteen ninety, but his influence is
far from being gone. And one of the things that
still has the greatest influence on me today is his
self leadership, because, unlike many many people in our world today,
(01:45):
he realized that it wasn't so much what happened to him,
but his response to it that made all the difference
in his life and the lives of those around him.
In fact, he had a little book that my mom
still has by Jay Allen Peterson, and the title of
it was your reactions are Showing. And he got that
book and he read it again and again, and I
(02:06):
can remember him referring to it many times because he
realized that his responsibility wasn't to control the world around
him and everybody else around him so it could be
just like he wanted, and to complain about it when
it wasn't like he wanted. He realized that his only
responsibility was in his reactions, what he was putting out there,
his actions and his reactions. That was the sole sphere
(02:29):
of his responsibility. And that's the way it is with
all of us. There's so many things in the world
we can't control. There's so many things we may not like.
But what we can control is our response to it.
Chuck Swindall once said, I am convinced that life is
ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how
I react to it. Now, isn't that true? The truth?
(02:52):
Your reaction to circumstances and things around you can put
you in the White House, or it can put you
in the Big House.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Up to you.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
But there it's like Robert Lewis Stevenson said, sooner or later,
everyone sets down to a banquet of consequences, and those
consequences are all based on what we do. So I
doubt that anyone would argue that it's far easier to
focus on what's happening to us, whether we like it
or not, and who and what we wish we would change,
(03:22):
than to look at the way we're responding and work
on changing ourselves. I was with a large group of
seniors recently, and well my first meeting with them, I
asked them, I said, how many people would like to
see change in the world? And every hand in the
room went up, And then I asked them to put
(03:43):
their hands down, and I said, okay, I want you
to get a real clear picture in your mind of
what change you would most like to see in the
world around you. I said, everybody got it? They all
said they did, they not. I said, now, how many
people were thinking about yourself?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Put your hands up? Not one hand went up.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Everybody wanted to see everybody else change, but nobody was
thinking about changing themselves.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yet all of the results that.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
We get in life are based on what we do
and the changes that we've been willing to make in ourselves.
Yet we rarely think about that. So for those who
invest the time, the thought, the reflection, the effort that
it takes, great rewards await for us in the areas
of relationships, influence our careers, our finances, and just like
(04:32):
I told you about my dad, the legacy that we
leave behind to those generations who are going to come
after us.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
So here's the exercise. This is as simple.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I'm going to give you some pairs of things to
help you think through and determine are you more affected
or are you more effective?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
So here we go.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Affected people focus on what has happened to them. Effective
people focus on how they respond to what has happened
to them. Affected people focus on on who and what
they want to change. Effective people focus on how they
can change. Affected people seek ways to change circumstances. Effective
(05:10):
people seek resources to better themselves. Affected people focus on
immediate happiness for themselves. Effected people focus on the long
term benefit for everyone involved. Affected people focus on receiving
Effective people focus on becoming. Affected people are concerned with
(05:32):
how they are treated by others. Effective people are concerned
with how they are treating others. Affected people create secondary
issues by the way they respond. Effective people resolve the
primary issue of their attitude. Affected people view difficulties as
a hindrance to comfort. Effective people view difficulties as an
(05:57):
opportunity for growth.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Did people focus.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
On their wants and needs, and effective people focus on
the needs of others. Now, I don't know about you,
but when I think about that list that I created,
that's a little convicting because it shows me. And this
is a tool. This is not to condemn ourselves or
judge ourselves. This is a tool to reveal ourselves to
(06:23):
us so that we can see areas that we can
work on growing in and improving in. We'll all likely
realize that we are very very often on that side
of being affected. And if you're like me, I'm there
a lot more than I would.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Like to admit.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
It comes quite naturally, whereas becoming effective takes effort and intentionality.
As one man, very very truthfully said, I got to
the top the hard way, fighting my own laziness and
ignorance every step of the way. And boy, didn't that
the truth. If it came easy, if good, good growth
(07:01):
and development and results and success came easy, everybody would
be doing it. But like it's been said, everything worth
doing is uphill all the way. So we're going to
take a short break and then we're gonna come back
and I'm going to give a few suggestions that can
help us in our transition from being affected to being effective.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Jeff will be back shortly to wrap up today's message.
This is Gabriela still on the scene today with Top
Network Radio. If you're just tuning in, you're listening to
Empowered Living with Jeff Bird. If you've missed any part
of today's message, you can hear it again online as
well as the entire archive of Empowered Living at www
(07:44):
dot Topnetwork Radio dot com or search keyword hashtag empowered Living.
We would like to acknowledge our music partners Sound Ideas
for Corporate to the Max and Kevin McLeod for Airport Lounge.
Any scriptures read during this broadcast are from the New
(08:04):
American Standard version of the Holy Bible. If you would
like to learn more about Jeffrey Bird Coaching, visit www
dot Jeffbirdcaching dot com. That is j E F F
B y R D Coaching dot com. Do a Facebook
search for at coaching Rocks or drop Jeff aligned at
(08:28):
Jeff at Jeffbird Coaching dot com again j E F
F B y r D Coaching dot com. Let Jeff's
coaching rocks be the building blocks of your empowered success.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Now let's go back to Jeff for.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
The rest of today's message.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Okay, welcome back.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
So today we're exploring the topic of whether or not
we are more affected or more effective. And here's a
few suggests that can help us move from just being
affected by our circumstances to being effected. And you know
what we want to do. You know, our real goal
is to become like what Paul talked about in the
Book of Romans. And he said, who will separate us
(09:14):
from the love of Christ? Will tribulation or distress, or
persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword? No,
in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who
loved us.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
So he and he gives a pretty severe list.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Most of us haven't been through this kind of tribulation
and persecution and peril and sword. These these are extremes
more than a lot of us will ever recognize, at
least in the Western world. And I realize there are
people listening to this in places that aren't in the
Western world, and these things are actual realities for you,
but regardless of what our is coming at us from
the outside. Paul promises us that it is possible to
(09:54):
overwhelmingly conquer in the midst of all of these things,
and he tells us it's going to be through God,
God's love for us in Christ and him doing through
us what we can't do ourselves. So here's a few
things that are going to help us become those overwhelming
conquerors that Paul mentions. First of all, what we want
to do is take time to reflect. Will never grow
(10:15):
if we don't take the time to reflect and see
where we really are. Regular reflection on the things that
are occurring and our reaction to them can provide us
valuable insight into our triggers and how we can manage
our responses during the times when we are most susceptible
to being affected. We can also learn much from reflecting
(10:38):
on how our reactions and attitudes are affecting others and
the messages we are communicating to them. Now, I can't
even share that with you without thinking of sometimes that
I know that I'm impatient with my wife, and I
know it's painful to look at that and see the
impact that it hasn't heard the messages that.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I'm conveying to her.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
But here's the good news is when I take the
time to reflect on those times, I don't have to
get bogged down and get discouraged in despair because I
have them. What I can do is go, Okay, wait
a minute. When this happens, this is how I tend
to react. Now, let me hold myself accountable for a
better reaction than next time that happens. Let me recognize, hey,
this is a this is that time again that I'm
(11:19):
gonna be tempted to be impatient. Now, let me call
myself up short, call myself to account and do better
than that. Let me recognize, hey, I'm going to count
for a few extra minutes in this situation. The next
way that we can develop and becoming effective is by
gaining insight from others. Feedback from friends and family in
(11:40):
a safe and encouraging environment can work wonders toward helping
us grow towards becoming more effective and less effected. The
great thing is that we can all grow together because
we all need help in this area. We can keep
keep in mind, though, that many people do not like
to give what they may perceive as negative feedback to
(12:01):
your face. Okay, it's difficult to tell other people the
areas that you think they come up short and in
a healthy and constructive environment. And we may talk about
them to our co workers in the parking lot, but
talk about talking about them in a healthy way to
their face, in a way that can help them grow.
That's much more difficult. But one of the things we
can do is to prime the pump by bringing up
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an area that we want to grow in. In other words,
don't let them have to bring it up first. Lets
us bring it up first, and then ask them for
further insights and feedback that they may have to give
us to help us move forward. Say hey, listen, I
realized this is a week area I really want to
grow in it. You know, what do you see there?
What are your thoughts? How might I grow in this area?
Or maybe how have you grown in this area? So
getting insight from others will help us grow the next one.
(12:46):
The third one is akin to that. One of this
is learning from others who are more mature. Often acknowledging
a good quality in another and asking for our insight
can open the doors to gaining valuable perspective to helping
our own journey. Most often, when we go to people
in that way and say, hey, I noticed you're really
good at this? You know, can I just ask you
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a little bit more about that? Or how did you
get so good? Most of the time they are very
willing to share their experiences and their learning journey. And
you know, it's been said that a wise man learns
from his mistakes, a wiser man learns from other people's mistakes,
but the wisest man learns from other people's successes. So
let's go to those people who we see being successful
and recognize that and acknowledge it and ask for their
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insights into that success. Fourth, a good is learning from
good role models, filling our minds and hearts with the stories,
the struggles and the triumphs of those who have grown
and overcome the difficulties of adversity. Those stories can inspire
us to remember that all our choices, even the little ones,
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have lasting impact, and that we too are making a
difference every day when we choose the right responses and
choose to be effective.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
The last one is lifelong learning, making daily grow, not
our goals. You know when, if you're like me, when
you set a goal, it's like you knock yourself out
to reach the gold. Then you relax and forget about it. No,
we don't want goals. We want lifelong learning and development.
So when we make that daily growth our priority, it
sets us up each day to find ways to become
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better than we were yesterday. Over time, this adds up
and pays big dividends like saving a little money each day.
And we keep in mind too, just like Paul said,
they're in that Romans passage that there is no circumstance
of life that we cannot overwhelmingly conger in through what
God's given us and through our intentionality and the help
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of other people. Thank you so much for tuning. And
this is jeff Bird with Jeffrey Bird Coaching. This is
empowered living.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Hope.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
You're having a great day. Told you