May 21, 2025 • 32 mins
Empowered Living With Jeff Byrd.
Welcome to Empowered Living. Listen as Jeff tackles critical issues in a way that brings "Insight for business, leadership, and life!
https://www.talknetworkradio.com/hosts/EmpoweredLiving
Welcome to Empowered Living. Listen as Jeff tackles critical issues in a way that brings "Insight for business, leadership, and life!
https://www.talknetworkradio.com/hosts/EmpoweredLiving
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello, this is Gabriella on the scene today with Talk
Network Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
We have a real dread for.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
You just around the corner, and that is Empowered Living
with Jeff Bird. Jeff is the owner of Jeffrey Bird
Coaching and he will be coming to you weekly to
teach you more about empowered living. Now let's join Jeff
already in the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hello and welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
This is Jeff with Jeffrey Bird Coaching, and this is
Empowered Living Today. The topic for discussion is going to.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Be do it afraid. We need you.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Every one of us have gifts and abilities and strengths
that need to be used, and sometimes we can be
afraid to get out there and get in front of
people and really be muchy, be what we need to
be and put those gifts and strengths into action for
the benefit of others.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
But we the world needs that. The world needs you.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
It's been said that every one of us is better
equipped to do a certain thing in a certain way
than thousands and thousands of other people. There is something
for each one of us to do that's going to
add value to others and bring joy and fulfillment to us. Now,
the text that I want to use as a point
of departure for today's discussion is in the book of
(01:59):
a First care Corinthians, and it's talking about the apostle Paul.
It's actually Paul writing to his forensic corinth and this
is what he says to them. In verses two through
five of First Corinthians, Chapter two, he says, and when
I came to you, brethren, I did not come with
superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the
testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among
(02:22):
you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I was with
you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling.
And my message and my preaching were not in persuasive
words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the spirit and
of power, so that your faith would not rest on
the wisdom of men, but on the power of God. Now,
(02:43):
what I really want to look at today is the
condition Paul knew who he was. He had a very
specific calling. He had very specific strengths and gifts that
allowed him to fulfill that calling of taking the message
of the Gospel and of God's redemption to all the world.
But here's the thing. He knew people weren't gonna get it.
He knew there was gonna be all kinds of opposition.
(03:05):
And he says he's very open, he's very vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Here.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
We don't think of Paul this way, We don't think
of you know, many leaders this way. But he really
drops the curtain and lets us see who he really
is as a human with a very important divine message.
And he tells them, he says, I was with you
in weakness and in fear and in much trembling.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Now, wow, these things are pretty strong. I looked him up.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
A weakness It means frailty and feebleness and want of
strength and capacity requit. He didn't have what was required,
didn't feel that he had what was required. He just
felt feeble and frail and ah, not up to the task.
You know, I don't know if I can do it.
I don't think I can. And fear.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
It means he was in dread and terror.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Just think he had this message that so many people
were opposing. The Jewish nation was opposing because they were
still holding onto the Law of Moses and hoping that
their heritage and their performance were gonna win them favor
with God.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Here I'll saying, hey, none of that matters.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
He favors you because it's his heart to favor you,
and he's forgiven you everything and given you everything. He
had this this message that was very different, and there
was so much opposition. He was stoned and left for
dead one time, and he was shipwrecked, he was beaten
numerous times. He just had so much, so much difficulty,
and he was afraid. He was in dread and terror
(04:23):
and trembling. It means quaking with fear. It's used to
describe the anxiety of one who distrusts his ability to
completely meet all the requirements. But when I think of
quaking with fear, I'm very afraid of heights. If I
just then I'm good as long as there's a nice,
secure railing. But if I'm just on the edge of something,
it makes me very very nervous. Even thinking about it
makes my palm sweat. And if I see somebody rock
(04:45):
climbing or doing something like that on TV, my feet
and my palm sweat.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And one time I.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Was at the edge of the Grand Canyon and I
was taking some pictures and I walked over very closely,
and I could see straight down and had this incredible
sense of how oh far it really was. You know,
the scale at the Grand Canyon is so big that
sometimes it's hard to really grasp what you're looking at.
But standing on the edge of that precipice and looking down,
I could grasp very clearly how far it was.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
And that was me quaking with fear.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
That's the trembling, my knees getting weak, and my hands sweating,
and backing carefully away from the edge as quickly as possible.
But let's think about the fear for a minute. Why
do we fear? Fear originally was given to us to
promote survival. We needed to have a sense of danger
and things to be afraid of so that we could
take the appropriate action to avoid it. But the problem
(05:36):
is that often it keeps us from what would be
best for us and others. See stepping out there and
taking a stand and using our strengths and having people
to that can be that can be very threatening, That
can really cause us a lot of fear. What if
it doesn't work, What if I'm not up to the task.
They don't like me, what if they don't listen to me,
What if they don't believe me? What if I get
booed off stage. There's all sorts of things that can
(05:59):
that can keep us, but the fear can really hinder
us and keep us stuck in some place that's far
less than our potential. Proverbs twenty six thirteen in the
New Living Translation says the slacker says, a lion is
in the road, a fierce lion roams in the public square.
In other words, I'm just gonna stay right here inside
(06:19):
the house. I'm not gonna go do anything because there's
danger out there. So fear is the hallmark of someone
who is slack in utilizing and developing their capabilities and
putting them to good use for the benefit of others.
So fear, while it can help us avoid danger, also
helps us avoid what's best for us by telling us
(06:40):
we can't do it, and we have nothing of value,
so why try. You can't do that. It's like the
young woman that came to me and said anything she
had ever tried. Her mom told her, you can't do that.
That's not for you. You're not fast enough, smart enough,
pretty enough, rich enough, whatever, You're not enough.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You're not enough. You're not enough.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
And we here when we start trying to do something
that's really important that really engages us off, and we'll
hear those voices, Oh, that's not you, that's not you're not,
you're not, you can't, you won't, and that can keep
us from doing what we're meant to do, what we're
put here to do, what we've got the gifts, the abilities,
and the strengths to do. So there are there are
(07:18):
some things, some things that cause us to fear. I've
got six of them written down here. Number one is
a distrust of our ability to perform well. Now you know, kids,
they don't really care so much. They'll try anything. They're
not worried about failure or performing well. They just say
it looks interesting, let me give it a shot. As
adult learners, we're not so much that way. We want
to make sure we've got all our bases covered and
(07:40):
we know it's gonna go well before we try anything.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
We don't want to look bad.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Because number two, we have a sense of insecurity often
in the face of failure. And I hate failure and
it can really I found that it can really be
immobilizing and I really have to pull myself together and
when I do fail at something and press through and
go at it again. It's very easy for me to
let that get to me, and that's something that I've
(08:04):
had to learn to overcome and to constantly fight that
oh when that does happen, because it can make us
really insecure. Because number three of the supposed negative judgment
of others that notice I said supposed, it doesn't mean
they're gonna judge us negatively. Often when we actually share
our stories of failure, it makes us more human and
(08:26):
it draws other people to us and they're like, oh
my gosh, meet me too, because we've all been there.
It's very childish in some ways, I think, to just
think that other people are gonna judge us negatively when
we fail. And of course we don't like to make mistakes,
especially if there's a lot of importance writing on it,
and we want to get good counsel and try to
avoid that. But if we do make a well intentioned mistake,
most people aren't gonna judge us, especially if we're open
(08:47):
and honest about it. If we try to hide it
and cover it up, they're gonna be like, yeah, you know,
give us a break. We all know you just mess
that up royally. But it's a supposed negative judgment of others.
They're not gonna like me, and then that leads leads
to the next next thing, the possible rejection. They're gonna
judge me negatively, and then they're gonna reject me. I'm
never gonna have another chance. It's all gonna be over
with me. Uh you know, Uh, nobody's ever gonna let
(09:11):
me have an opportunity again. So then at least number five,
the belief that bad will come to us. Uh, So
we better just play it safe, right, Uh, Well, where
where I am might not be so great, but at
least it's safe, it's comfortable, it's familiar. I don't want
to have to change and really grow and really get
out there and do things differently and take a risk.
(09:32):
Let me let me just play it safe. Let me
just play small, Let me play small. And I did
that so often back in college.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
And I had a professor and he came to me
several times, and he was the chair of the debate team,
and he knew that I had speaking ability, and he
came to me and he offered me, He said, you're
a great speaker. I'd really like you to consider joining
our debate team. We travel around we have these competitions.
But but you know what, I didn't see myself as
being able to do that. I didn't I'd lack the
(10:00):
I fear, the fear of failure keep me from that.
That could have been a great experience for me and
introduced me to a lot of other things and some
really enjoyable times. But I let fear get in there.
And because I believe that, oh maybe bad will come.
Maybe I don't know how I'll do that. I might
mess it up, they might not like me, I might
not win. And I let the fear get the better
of me. And it's just easy. Sometimes there's a lot
(10:23):
of things that will try to keep us bound, keep
us playing. Small good friend of mine, she's a mentor
of mine. She's a coach up in Canada, and she
when she decided that she needed to leave her corporate
job and go out and start speaking and training others
and being a coach and go on her own, her
company came back to her and made her a fantastic offer,
(10:44):
and she said it was a gilded cage, but it
was still a cage. I still wasn't free to be
who I was made to be and do what I
was gifted and made to do, and she knew that
she would lack fulfillment if she played safe. Even with
a really, really robust offer, she knew that she would
never be fulfilled if she did that. So she stepped out.
(11:05):
She rejected it, and she stepped out. She's doing very
very well now and she's impacted many, many, many more
lives than she ever could have if she had stayed
where she was and just believe the fear and believe that, hey,
maybe I won't make it, maybe bad things will come.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
And number six.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
One of the reasons that we don't step out and
that we live in fears that we just have a
negative life stance. Don't you know people like that, They
just they're Debbie Downers. They just have a negative perspective
on things. You know, everything's a threat, nothing's ever gonna
go right. Everything's a bigger problem than it is. They
just don't expect good. They feel like I never win.
I'm just other people are winners.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That's just not me.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
They just don't expect any good to come. And it's
funny how what we expect often is what comes to us.
There's the law of attraction that says that we don't
attract what we want.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
We attract who we are. We attract who we are.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
And when we are people with that negative kind of perspective, well,
the really positive people who might be to create opportunities
and help support us and help move us on, they're
not going to be drawn to us because we don't
believe in ourselves. Why should they believe in us? Would
you bet on a horse whose own jockey wouldn't bet
on him who thinks he's a loser, of course not.
If somebody doesn't believe in themselves and want invested themselves,
(12:14):
why would anybody else believe in them?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So they attract what they are.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
They and so they hanger out around with other people
who feel like they do, and they go, oh, life
is just so bad. They come misery. They look down
on people who are successful, find ways to criticize them
to make themselves feel better for not getting out there
and developing and doing anything. So Job in the Book
of Job in chapter three, verse twenty five after if
(12:38):
you know the story, there were many plagues that came
to Job. God didn't want to do that. He was
showing something of spiritual significance in the heavenly realms as
Satan came and started accusing Job, and he let him
do some things to him that were negative, and Job
didn't understand them. But ultimately God promoted and highly exalted Job.
But Job said, for or what I fear comes upon me,
(13:02):
and what I dread befalls me. It's like self fulfilling prophecy.
Those things that Job feared and dreaded were the things
that became the basis of the attack against him, So
it's almost like he drew them to himself. So the
things that we fear so often are the things that
come to us, and we're like, see, I was right. Well,
what was needed was a change in life stance from
a negative to a positive life chance. Our life stance,
(13:26):
it's you know, it's very rare if that's the image
that we have that just good doesn't come and we
need to be afraid. We rarely outperform that self image.
If we think we can't, we think we won't, we
think it just only bad stuff happens. We rarely outperform
that self image. And if we do find that we
have gifts and abilities that are starting to take us
higher than our self image, then very often we sabotage
(13:47):
that we sabotage those opportunities so that we can stay
at a level that we're comfortable with. It doesn't exceed
our image of ourselves. You may have seen the quote
that goes around Facebook occasionally. I've seen I love this
when it says, what if I failed? But, oh, darling,
what if you fly? We have to choose what we're
gonna believe. Are we gonna believe? Are we gonna let
(14:09):
the fear of the failure keep us down? Are we
going to take the chance and get out there and
get out there and fly? You know I'm back. In
twenty fourteen, a friend of mine from kindergarten introduced me
to the John Maxwell team. She saw me as a leader,
She saw things that I didn't even see and me.
She wanted to interview me on our television show, and
(14:29):
she introduced me to the John Maxwell team. And I
joined the team. But it was a full year before
I gave my first presentation. Didn't think I knew what
to say, didn't have the opportunity, didn't know what to do.
But you know, when I gave that first presentation, I'll
never forget it. It was in December and I was
back in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I gave that.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
It was about a forty five minute presentation for a
group of professionals, and at the end of that presentation,
the vice president of the host facility, who was in
the audience, came up to me and he said, I
want you to send me a quote for training all
of our staff and our executive staff at all of
our communities. I think they had seven or eight community
He said, I want you to want you to send
over a quote for that. And so, even though I
(15:09):
didn't have that much confidence, I thought it was going
to be pretty good. I had no idea what impact
it was going to make. And that's the same thing
with you. You do not know. I promise you you
do not know what impact you can make by using
your gift, speaking from your experience, utilizing those things that
you have to get out there and to make a
difference with other people. It will make more difference than
(15:31):
you know. You'll be surprised as well as pleasantly surprised,
as well as having a lot of joy and fulfillment
when you find out that.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Wow, what I've got makes a difference.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
This is really benefiting people's lives, and it's what I'm
best at when you use those unique and specific gifts
that you've got. So I want to give some antidotes
to fear. The antidote to fear is a proper belief system.
A proper belief system. So here's some things to keep
in mind. The first one is maybe your fears. What
if if I perform poorly? How about this thought? What
(16:03):
can I learn to succeed the next time? If you
do make a mistake, if you do perform poorly, poorly,
what can you learn from it so that you can
succeed the next time? There was I heard the story
of a young man who was inheriting his grandfather's very
successful business. His dad was engaged in another business of
his own, so the family business was coming to him.
(16:23):
And at the day that they were going to make
the transfer, he and his grandfather were in his grandfather's
office and he said to me, said, Grandpa, I can
ask you a question. He said, well, sure, He said,
how did you become so successful in this business? Grandpa said, oh,
that's easy. Is I can answer that in two words?
Good decisions? Young man thought for a minute. He said,
can I ask you one more question? Grandpa said, sure,
(16:44):
go ahead, He said, had you learn to make good decisions?
Grandpa said, oh, I can answer that in two words,
bad decisions.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
So it's so often that way with us. Often we
have to.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Walk through the wrong door in order to realize it's
the wrong door and come back out and go through
the right door. But we have to get over the
fear of taking the chance. If we never take the chance,
we'll never learn the lessons. So the antidote to what
if you perform poorly is what can you learn from it?
If you do so, you can succeed better the next time.
Second one is insecurity. That's the belief that failure is
(17:16):
the end. But how about substituting that. If you can
believe that, how about substituting it with the belief that
you belong, that you're loved, that nothing, even failure, can
ultimately harm you. If you can believe a negative, it's
called the law of polarity. If you can believe a
negative image, just picture the opposite of that picture, the positive.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You can just as easily believe.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
That.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Doesn't take any more energy to believe the positive than
it does the negative. Okay, one thing that will help you.
This has helped me greatly. Is when you see yourself
when you're going into something that you're a little nervous about,
picture in your mind your very best self going into
that situation. I use this all the time. I see
(17:55):
this confident, whole, wise person who's going to be resourced
with the answers I need, with the perspective I need,
with the words that I need to go out and
to do what I need to do. And that goes
that image. Just seeing your best self in your mind
going into whatever situation it is that lies before you.
See your best self. Don't see your fearful self, and
(18:17):
what if they don't don't see that, See your best self,
See your confident, whole, complete resource best self going into
that situation. The next one, number three is negative judgments.
Negative self judgments. Take back the power by judging yourself
rightly as capable, a capable individual who's growing, who has
value to share, who agrees with God's estimate of your value.
(18:40):
If he saw you as valuable enough that he was
willing to give everything his own life included for you,
that's a high value. Agree with him, make the agreement
with him, and get rid of that negative self judgment.
Just a friend of mine. She calls these little voices
in the head, the negative self judgments and the inner critics,
those little babbling negative things that we all have.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Calls that a grimlin. And she named hers George Burns.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
And she said, anytime that she gets ready to go
do something important, she just hears George just babbling a way,
you can't do that, Nobody cares, nobody wants to hear
you whatever. And she says, George, you have to go
set in the corner because I don't have time to
talk to you today. I've got important things to go do.
And she doesn't pay that voice anymind, and she just
sets about going and doing what she needs to do.
And before self acceptance, we have to come to understand
(19:25):
that what we have to give is both valuable and needed,
and to keep doing the right thing, make a commitment
to ourselves. We're gonna keep growing, We're gonna keep at it,
We're gonna keep doing the right thing, no matter how
others respond, because not everybody's gonna get it, not everybody is,
no matter how excited enthusiastic where, not everybody's gonna want it.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Not everyode's gonna be.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Up for the journey. To take the trip with us.
I'm in Acts seventeen four and five. The story about
Paul continues that it says that speaking of his audience,
that some of them were persuaded and joined Paul in silence,
along with a large number of the god fearing Greeks
and a number of the leading women. But the Jews,
becoming jealous and taking along some wicked men from the marketplace,
formed a mob and set the city in an uproar
(20:09):
and attacking the house of Jason. They were seeking to
bring them out to the people. So not everybody's gonna
buy what you have to give, and that's okay. They
may cause you difficulty, but even that difficulty isn't gonna
stop your purpose. And there's so many people who are
going to be benefited. Focus on the ones who are connected,
(20:30):
who are being benefited, who are being blessed by who
you are and what you have to give, and let
that encourage you to keep going if you had. It
can be intimidating to go to people and do something
if you don't know how they're gonna respond.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
But think about this.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Think about if you were walking down a street and
you looked into the picture window of the front of
a house and you saw a family all seated at
the dinner table having a great time conversing and enjoy laughing,
enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
It would be very weird for you to just.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Go knock on the door and you know, barge into
that situation with no good reason.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Very weird.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
But what if you saw on the other side of
the house fire burning and the smoke rising. You wouldn't
feel nearly as uncomfortable going and knocking on their door
because the message that you had, what you had to
share with them was so important that they would immediately
recognize the need. And if they didn't, well, you've done
your job to try to get them out. You know,
(21:21):
it's on them then, but you would have fulfilled your
responsibility and most likely they're going to appreciate it and
thank you for That's how it is when we when
we start developing ourselves and putting our strengths to use,
we have to realize that what we have to give
is important. Other people do need it and it will
benefit them, and get out there and do it. Number
five is never compare your inner reality to someone else's
(21:43):
outward appearance. Comparisons are odious, as it's been said, and
we never want to compare what we feel like on
the inside to what somebody else looks like on the outside.
They may look like a perfect ten and might be
feeling like the last or as a summer in a
hail storm. I've known so many people who looked so
put together, but when it came down to it, they
(22:04):
ended up with more problems than you can possibly imagine.
I've known a lot of unfortunately suicides, and some of
them came from people who looked really well put together,
seem to be doing just great, but there was more
trouble on the inside. Don't compare how you feel on
the inside to what other people look like on the outside.
When we really get to know each other, we find Hey,
we've all got the insecurities, we've all got the misgivings
(22:25):
about ourselves and our strengths. But we have to encourage
each other to keep moving ahead and keep developing, keep
doing what we're made to do. Number six, the belief
that good will come to me. We have to believe
that good will come to us as we use our
gifts to help others, doing what we can in our
areas of strength. Will end up with greater appreciation from
the ones that we help. Whatever your gifted, whatever your
(22:46):
strength is, it's gonna end up benefiting somebody somehow, and
that's going to end up in appreciation from the ones
that we help and add value to. Some people might
resist us, they might because they're selfish or because they're
jealous of us, but they will eventually be seen for
what they are, and we'll be seen for what we
are when we get out there and use what we've
got to do good. And then lastly is a positive
(23:07):
life stance. We need to get a positive life stance,
and that positive life stance believes that even though difficulties come,
it acknowledges that there are difficulties in the life. You
don't have to be in denial to have a positive
life stance. But even though there are difficulties, life is good,
people are valuable, and the difficulties are ultimately outweighed by
(23:28):
the good. That's what a positive life stance is. It's
not your head in the sand, not admitting that there's
anything wrong, but it says, even though there are troubles,
it's worth it to keep going on and to keep
helping other people. We're told in Romans eight twenty eighth
that God causes all things to work together for good
to those who love him and are called according to
his purpose.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Well, what's his purpose?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
It's very simple, that's not some really pietistical religious thing.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
What's God's purpose?
Speaker 3 (23:53):
It is and always has been, to have us know
how greatly we're loved and desired, and to help others
see for themselves and know how valuable they are. That's
what the gospel message is is to understand or to return,
I'm sorry, to understand and return to the love and
value that God sees us with. That's what that's all
it is. That's what God's purpose is. And when we're
(24:14):
using our gifts to help others see their value and
add value to them, we're aligned with them.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Jeff will be back shortly to wrap up today's message.
This is Gabriela still on the scene today with Top
Network Radio. If you're just tuning in, you're listening to
Empowered Living with Jeff Byrd. If you've missed any part
of today's message, you can hear it again online as
well as the entire archive of Empowered Living at www
(24:43):
dot Topnetwork Radio dot com or search keyword hashtag empowered Living.
We would like to acknowledge our music partners, Sound Ideas
for Corporate to the Max and Kevin McLeod for Airport Lounge.
Any script chad during this broadcast are from the New
(25:04):
American Standard version of the Holy Bible. If you would
like to learn more about Jeffrey Bird Coaching, visit www
dot Jeffbirdcaching dot com.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
That is j E F F b y r D
Coaching dot com. Do a Facebook search for at coaching Rocks,
or drop Jeff a line at Jeff at Jeffbirdcaching dot
com Again j E F F B y r D
Coaching dot com. Let Jeff's coaching rocks be the building
(25:40):
blocks of your empowered success.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Now let's go back to Jeff.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
For the rest of today's message.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
So I want to give you six applications from what
we've talked about today. The first thing I want to
ask you is what would you do if you knew
you couldn't fail. You probably heard that question before, but
think about that. If failure was off the table, if
you weren't worried about anything, what would you do?
Speaker 2 (26:04):
What would you love to do?
Speaker 3 (26:05):
What are the things you're good at that you're passionate
about doing that benefit other people. But what would you
do if you knew you couldn't fail? Number two? What
are you gifted to do? Even if you do fail?
What are your gifts?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Maybe?
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Maybe you know, maybe other people have told you throughout
your life and you've just never done anything with it.
Other people telling me what they saw in me has
greatly helped me to understand what my gifts are and
to develop those.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Maybe you need help like.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
The books Strengths Finders two point zero, where there's a
little test and they can tell you what some of
your greatest strengths are and give you ideas of how
to apply them. There are resources there.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Number three.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
If you do fail, what can you learn from the failure?
Think of other failures in your life. Think of failures
that you've known in other people, or that you've read about,
that you've heard about. What have they learned from them
and how much has it helped them. Michael Jordan said
that you know he had learned to embrace failures. He's
(27:05):
missed so many game winning shots, he's had so many difficulties.
He was even cut from the high school basketball team.
But he said he's failed and he's failed, and he's failed,
and that is why he succeeds. He's learned from the failures.
The failure showed him what areas to work on, what
area is to strengthen it. Now that's why he's a success.
What can you learn from your own failures? Number four?
(27:27):
What might you and others gain from the experience? Just
the experience of you getting out there and doing what
you'd love to do, what you're gifted to do, even
if you're doing it afraid. If you get out there
and do it, what might you picture? What might you
and others gain? Where could it go, what opportunities might
come from it? How far might it go? Just envision
(27:48):
those things, get those in your mind. That'll encourage you.
Number five, how might the attempt help you in the future?
Just getting out there and trying like that I shared
with that first presentation I ever gave. Anybody would come
up and respond to me. Have the VP of the
company I was with come up and make an offer
to me to do a whole lot of training. You know,
you never know how the attempt might help us in
(28:11):
the future. And number six is just we'll close with
this is really, what do you have to lose. You know,
if you're where you are and it's not fulfilling, you
know you've got strengths. You know that there's more you
just even if you don't know how to get there,
you just feel that tug, that little tug on your heart.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
I remember one day.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Getting up and getting ready for work, and all of
a sudden, I just realized I didn't have anything.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I was done.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I just sat down on the edge of the bed
and I just prayed something to the effect of God,
I'm grateful that I've got a job. I'm grateful for
all the good it's provided me, But this isn't me,
and I don't even know what I need to do,
and I don't even know how to get there. But
I know you know, and I'm asking you to do
that for me.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
You know what. Amazingly, within three.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Months, I was out of that job and I was
in another work have my own business that was growing,
and that business led to it's photography business. That business
led to being seen by a friend from Kindergarten who
offered who contacted me and offered to interview me on
her television show and ended up telling me about coaching
(29:10):
and leadership training. And that totally resonated with me and
seemed to fit. And I started that four years ago
and now here I am and doors are opening up
all over the place.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
It's been. It hasn't been easy. Let me tell you.
It hasn't been easy.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
You know. It's it's hard to step out of a
full time job and start something on your own. I mean,
it was a huge financial loss, but the fulfillment of
what I do and the difference it makes is what
keeps me going. And now after some I've always had enough,
never missed any bills. God's always seemed to provide enough.
But uh, there's been some really tight times and now
things are starting to pick up and move along. It
(29:42):
takes a little while, but the fulfillment, even during the
tough times, from the people that have been benefited by
what I've been doing, has been has kept me going,
and I'm so I could never look back. Just like
I told you earlier, my friend she said that the
offer she had with her corporate job was a gilded cage,
but it was still a cage. And that is I'm
not you go quit your job. I'm telling you find
what those strengths are that are underutilized and those capabilities
(30:06):
and start developing them and looking for ways to use
them to help other people. What you have to give
to the world is needed, and your gifts may differ
tremendously from mine or from the next person's, but you
have something that somebody needs. In your family and your friends,
in your community, at your work somewhere, there are people
(30:30):
who need what you've got, and when you develop it
and help them, you're not only going to feel appreciated
by them, You're gonna make a difference. You're gonna feel fulfilled,
and you're gonna have joy. You're gifted to make that difference,
and it's really fulfilling our responsibility to God into the world.
By developing ourselves. We owe it to everybody else and
(30:51):
we get the joy in the process, but we do
owe it to them. It is a responsibility to become
our best, to make the most difference that we can. So,
as has been said by one of my mentor's, Paul Martinelli,
take your leap and grow your wings on the way down.
Don't wait until you've got it all together. You don't
have to be great to start, but you do have
to start to become great. So take the leap, grow
(31:13):
the wings on the way down, learn, enjoy the experience,
enjoy the communication with others who are growing and learning
from their experiences and them from yours, and have a
good time to do it. Do it afraid, but just
do it because the world needs you. I'm going to
leave you with this quote by it Ralph Marston. He said,
you've done it before, and you can do it now.
(31:35):
See the positive possibilities, redirect the substantial energy of your
frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Thank you so much for joining me today. I'm jeff Bird.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
This is Jeffrey Bird Coaching and this is empowered living
God bless you and we'll see you next time. The
s
Hello, this is Gabriella on the scene today with Talk
Network Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
We have a real dread for.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
You just around the corner, and that is Empowered Living
with Jeff Bird. Jeff is the owner of Jeffrey Bird
Coaching and he will be coming to you weekly to
teach you more about empowered living. Now let's join Jeff
already in the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hello and welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
This is Jeff with Jeffrey Bird Coaching, and this is
Empowered Living Today. The topic for discussion is going to.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Be do it afraid. We need you.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Every one of us have gifts and abilities and strengths
that need to be used, and sometimes we can be
afraid to get out there and get in front of
people and really be muchy, be what we need to
be and put those gifts and strengths into action for
the benefit of others.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
But we the world needs that. The world needs you.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
It's been said that every one of us is better
equipped to do a certain thing in a certain way
than thousands and thousands of other people. There is something
for each one of us to do that's going to
add value to others and bring joy and fulfillment to us. Now,
the text that I want to use as a point
of departure for today's discussion is in the book of
(01:59):
a First care Corinthians, and it's talking about the apostle Paul.
It's actually Paul writing to his forensic corinth and this
is what he says to them. In verses two through
five of First Corinthians, Chapter two, he says, and when
I came to you, brethren, I did not come with
superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the
testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among
(02:22):
you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I was with
you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling.
And my message and my preaching were not in persuasive
words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the spirit and
of power, so that your faith would not rest on
the wisdom of men, but on the power of God. Now,
(02:43):
what I really want to look at today is the
condition Paul knew who he was. He had a very
specific calling. He had very specific strengths and gifts that
allowed him to fulfill that calling of taking the message
of the Gospel and of God's redemption to all the world.
But here's the thing. He knew people weren't gonna get it.
He knew there was gonna be all kinds of opposition.
(03:05):
And he says he's very open, he's very vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Here.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
We don't think of Paul this way, We don't think
of you know, many leaders this way. But he really
drops the curtain and lets us see who he really
is as a human with a very important divine message.
And he tells them, he says, I was with you
in weakness and in fear and in much trembling.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Now, wow, these things are pretty strong. I looked him up.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
A weakness It means frailty and feebleness and want of
strength and capacity requit. He didn't have what was required,
didn't feel that he had what was required. He just
felt feeble and frail and ah, not up to the task.
You know, I don't know if I can do it.
I don't think I can. And fear.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
It means he was in dread and terror.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Just think he had this message that so many people
were opposing. The Jewish nation was opposing because they were
still holding onto the Law of Moses and hoping that
their heritage and their performance were gonna win them favor
with God.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Here I'll saying, hey, none of that matters.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
He favors you because it's his heart to favor you,
and he's forgiven you everything and given you everything. He
had this this message that was very different, and there
was so much opposition. He was stoned and left for
dead one time, and he was shipwrecked, he was beaten
numerous times. He just had so much, so much difficulty,
and he was afraid. He was in dread and terror
(04:23):
and trembling. It means quaking with fear. It's used to
describe the anxiety of one who distrusts his ability to
completely meet all the requirements. But when I think of
quaking with fear, I'm very afraid of heights. If I
just then I'm good as long as there's a nice,
secure railing. But if I'm just on the edge of something,
it makes me very very nervous. Even thinking about it
makes my palm sweat. And if I see somebody rock
(04:45):
climbing or doing something like that on TV, my feet
and my palm sweat.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
And one time I.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Was at the edge of the Grand Canyon and I
was taking some pictures and I walked over very closely,
and I could see straight down and had this incredible
sense of how oh far it really was. You know,
the scale at the Grand Canyon is so big that
sometimes it's hard to really grasp what you're looking at.
But standing on the edge of that precipice and looking down,
I could grasp very clearly how far it was.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
And that was me quaking with fear.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
That's the trembling, my knees getting weak, and my hands sweating,
and backing carefully away from the edge as quickly as possible.
But let's think about the fear for a minute. Why
do we fear? Fear originally was given to us to
promote survival. We needed to have a sense of danger
and things to be afraid of so that we could
take the appropriate action to avoid it. But the problem
(05:36):
is that often it keeps us from what would be
best for us and others. See stepping out there and
taking a stand and using our strengths and having people
to that can be that can be very threatening, That
can really cause us a lot of fear. What if
it doesn't work, What if I'm not up to the task.
They don't like me, what if they don't listen to me,
What if they don't believe me? What if I get
booed off stage. There's all sorts of things that can
(05:59):
that can keep us, but the fear can really hinder
us and keep us stuck in some place that's far
less than our potential. Proverbs twenty six thirteen in the
New Living Translation says the slacker says, a lion is
in the road, a fierce lion roams in the public square.
In other words, I'm just gonna stay right here inside
(06:19):
the house. I'm not gonna go do anything because there's
danger out there. So fear is the hallmark of someone
who is slack in utilizing and developing their capabilities and
putting them to good use for the benefit of others.
So fear, while it can help us avoid danger, also
helps us avoid what's best for us by telling us
(06:40):
we can't do it, and we have nothing of value,
so why try. You can't do that. It's like the
young woman that came to me and said anything she
had ever tried. Her mom told her, you can't do that.
That's not for you. You're not fast enough, smart enough,
pretty enough, rich enough, whatever, You're not enough.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You're not enough. You're not enough.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
And we here when we start trying to do something
that's really important that really engages us off, and we'll
hear those voices, Oh, that's not you, that's not you're not,
you're not, you can't, you won't, and that can keep
us from doing what we're meant to do, what we're
put here to do, what we've got the gifts, the abilities,
and the strengths to do. So there are there are
(07:18):
some things, some things that cause us to fear. I've
got six of them written down here. Number one is
a distrust of our ability to perform well. Now you know, kids,
they don't really care so much. They'll try anything. They're
not worried about failure or performing well. They just say
it looks interesting, let me give it a shot. As
adult learners, we're not so much that way. We want
to make sure we've got all our bases covered and
(07:40):
we know it's gonna go well before we try anything.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
We don't want to look bad.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Because number two, we have a sense of insecurity often
in the face of failure. And I hate failure and
it can really I found that it can really be
immobilizing and I really have to pull myself together and
when I do fail at something and press through and
go at it again. It's very easy for me to
let that get to me, and that's something that I've
(08:04):
had to learn to overcome and to constantly fight that
oh when that does happen, because it can make us
really insecure. Because number three of the supposed negative judgment
of others that notice I said supposed, it doesn't mean
they're gonna judge us negatively. Often when we actually share
our stories of failure, it makes us more human and
(08:26):
it draws other people to us and they're like, oh
my gosh, meet me too, because we've all been there.
It's very childish in some ways, I think, to just
think that other people are gonna judge us negatively when
we fail. And of course we don't like to make mistakes,
especially if there's a lot of importance writing on it,
and we want to get good counsel and try to
avoid that. But if we do make a well intentioned mistake,
most people aren't gonna judge us, especially if we're open
(08:47):
and honest about it. If we try to hide it
and cover it up, they're gonna be like, yeah, you know,
give us a break. We all know you just mess
that up royally. But it's a supposed negative judgment of others.
They're not gonna like me, and then that leads leads
to the next next thing, the possible rejection. They're gonna
judge me negatively, and then they're gonna reject me. I'm
never gonna have another chance. It's all gonna be over
with me. Uh you know, Uh, nobody's ever gonna let
(09:11):
me have an opportunity again. So then at least number five,
the belief that bad will come to us. Uh, So
we better just play it safe, right, Uh, Well, where
where I am might not be so great, but at
least it's safe, it's comfortable, it's familiar. I don't want
to have to change and really grow and really get
out there and do things differently and take a risk.
(09:32):
Let me let me just play it safe. Let me
just play small, Let me play small. And I did
that so often back in college.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
And I had a professor and he came to me
several times, and he was the chair of the debate team,
and he knew that I had speaking ability, and he
came to me and he offered me, He said, you're
a great speaker. I'd really like you to consider joining
our debate team. We travel around we have these competitions.
But but you know what, I didn't see myself as
being able to do that. I didn't I'd lack the
(10:00):
I fear, the fear of failure keep me from that.
That could have been a great experience for me and
introduced me to a lot of other things and some
really enjoyable times. But I let fear get in there.
And because I believe that, oh maybe bad will come.
Maybe I don't know how I'll do that. I might
mess it up, they might not like me, I might
not win. And I let the fear get the better
of me. And it's just easy. Sometimes there's a lot
(10:23):
of things that will try to keep us bound, keep
us playing. Small good friend of mine, she's a mentor
of mine. She's a coach up in Canada, and she
when she decided that she needed to leave her corporate
job and go out and start speaking and training others
and being a coach and go on her own, her
company came back to her and made her a fantastic offer,
(10:44):
and she said it was a gilded cage, but it
was still a cage. I still wasn't free to be
who I was made to be and do what I
was gifted and made to do, and she knew that
she would lack fulfillment if she played safe. Even with
a really, really robust offer, she knew that she would
never be fulfilled if she did that. So she stepped out.
(11:05):
She rejected it, and she stepped out. She's doing very
very well now and she's impacted many, many, many more
lives than she ever could have if she had stayed
where she was and just believe the fear and believe that, hey,
maybe I won't make it, maybe bad things will come.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
And number six.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
One of the reasons that we don't step out and
that we live in fears that we just have a
negative life stance. Don't you know people like that, They
just they're Debbie Downers. They just have a negative perspective
on things. You know, everything's a threat, nothing's ever gonna
go right. Everything's a bigger problem than it is. They
just don't expect good. They feel like I never win.
I'm just other people are winners.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That's just not me.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
They just don't expect any good to come. And it's
funny how what we expect often is what comes to us.
There's the law of attraction that says that we don't
attract what we want.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
We attract who we are. We attract who we are.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
And when we are people with that negative kind of perspective, well,
the really positive people who might be to create opportunities
and help support us and help move us on, they're
not going to be drawn to us because we don't
believe in ourselves. Why should they believe in us? Would
you bet on a horse whose own jockey wouldn't bet
on him who thinks he's a loser, of course not.
If somebody doesn't believe in themselves and want invested themselves,
(12:14):
why would anybody else believe in them?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So they attract what they are.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
They and so they hanger out around with other people
who feel like they do, and they go, oh, life
is just so bad. They come misery. They look down
on people who are successful, find ways to criticize them
to make themselves feel better for not getting out there
and developing and doing anything. So Job in the Book
of Job in chapter three, verse twenty five after if
(12:38):
you know the story, there were many plagues that came
to Job. God didn't want to do that. He was
showing something of spiritual significance in the heavenly realms as
Satan came and started accusing Job, and he let him
do some things to him that were negative, and Job
didn't understand them. But ultimately God promoted and highly exalted Job.
But Job said, for or what I fear comes upon me,
(13:02):
and what I dread befalls me. It's like self fulfilling prophecy.
Those things that Job feared and dreaded were the things
that became the basis of the attack against him, So
it's almost like he drew them to himself. So the
things that we fear so often are the things that
come to us, and we're like, see, I was right. Well,
what was needed was a change in life stance from
a negative to a positive life chance. Our life stance,
(13:26):
it's you know, it's very rare if that's the image
that we have that just good doesn't come and we
need to be afraid. We rarely outperform that self image.
If we think we can't, we think we won't, we
think it just only bad stuff happens. We rarely outperform
that self image. And if we do find that we
have gifts and abilities that are starting to take us
higher than our self image, then very often we sabotage
(13:47):
that we sabotage those opportunities so that we can stay
at a level that we're comfortable with. It doesn't exceed
our image of ourselves. You may have seen the quote
that goes around Facebook occasionally. I've seen I love this
when it says, what if I failed? But, oh, darling,
what if you fly? We have to choose what we're
gonna believe. Are we gonna believe? Are we gonna let
(14:09):
the fear of the failure keep us down? Are we
going to take the chance and get out there and
get out there and fly? You know I'm back. In
twenty fourteen, a friend of mine from kindergarten introduced me
to the John Maxwell team. She saw me as a leader,
She saw things that I didn't even see and me.
She wanted to interview me on our television show, and
(14:29):
she introduced me to the John Maxwell team. And I
joined the team. But it was a full year before
I gave my first presentation. Didn't think I knew what
to say, didn't have the opportunity, didn't know what to do.
But you know, when I gave that first presentation, I'll
never forget it. It was in December and I was
back in twenty fifteen.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I gave that.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
It was about a forty five minute presentation for a
group of professionals, and at the end of that presentation,
the vice president of the host facility, who was in
the audience, came up to me and he said, I
want you to send me a quote for training all
of our staff and our executive staff at all of
our communities. I think they had seven or eight community
He said, I want you to want you to send
over a quote for that. And so, even though I
(15:09):
didn't have that much confidence, I thought it was going
to be pretty good. I had no idea what impact
it was going to make. And that's the same thing
with you. You do not know. I promise you you
do not know what impact you can make by using
your gift, speaking from your experience, utilizing those things that
you have to get out there and to make a
difference with other people. It will make more difference than
(15:31):
you know. You'll be surprised as well as pleasantly surprised,
as well as having a lot of joy and fulfillment
when you find out that.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Wow, what I've got makes a difference.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
This is really benefiting people's lives, and it's what I'm
best at when you use those unique and specific gifts
that you've got. So I want to give some antidotes
to fear. The antidote to fear is a proper belief system.
A proper belief system. So here's some things to keep
in mind. The first one is maybe your fears. What
if if I perform poorly? How about this thought? What
(16:03):
can I learn to succeed the next time? If you
do make a mistake, if you do perform poorly, poorly,
what can you learn from it so that you can
succeed the next time? There was I heard the story
of a young man who was inheriting his grandfather's very
successful business. His dad was engaged in another business of
his own, so the family business was coming to him.
(16:23):
And at the day that they were going to make
the transfer, he and his grandfather were in his grandfather's
office and he said to me, said, Grandpa, I can
ask you a question. He said, well, sure, He said,
how did you become so successful in this business? Grandpa said, oh,
that's easy. Is I can answer that in two words?
Good decisions? Young man thought for a minute. He said,
can I ask you one more question? Grandpa said, sure,
(16:44):
go ahead, He said, had you learn to make good decisions?
Grandpa said, oh, I can answer that in two words,
bad decisions.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
So it's so often that way with us. Often we
have to.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Walk through the wrong door in order to realize it's
the wrong door and come back out and go through
the right door. But we have to get over the
fear of taking the chance. If we never take the chance,
we'll never learn the lessons. So the antidote to what
if you perform poorly is what can you learn from it?
If you do so, you can succeed better the next time.
Second one is insecurity. That's the belief that failure is
(17:16):
the end. But how about substituting that. If you can
believe that, how about substituting it with the belief that
you belong, that you're loved, that nothing, even failure, can
ultimately harm you. If you can believe a negative, it's
called the law of polarity. If you can believe a
negative image, just picture the opposite of that picture, the positive.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You can just as easily believe.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
That.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Doesn't take any more energy to believe the positive than
it does the negative. Okay, one thing that will help you.
This has helped me greatly. Is when you see yourself
when you're going into something that you're a little nervous about,
picture in your mind your very best self going into
that situation. I use this all the time. I see
(17:55):
this confident, whole, wise person who's going to be resourced
with the answers I need, with the perspective I need,
with the words that I need to go out and
to do what I need to do. And that goes
that image. Just seeing your best self in your mind
going into whatever situation it is that lies before you.
See your best self. Don't see your fearful self, and
(18:17):
what if they don't don't see that, See your best self,
See your confident, whole, complete resource best self going into
that situation. The next one, number three is negative judgments.
Negative self judgments. Take back the power by judging yourself
rightly as capable, a capable individual who's growing, who has
value to share, who agrees with God's estimate of your value.
(18:40):
If he saw you as valuable enough that he was
willing to give everything his own life included for you,
that's a high value. Agree with him, make the agreement
with him, and get rid of that negative self judgment.
Just a friend of mine. She calls these little voices
in the head, the negative self judgments and the inner critics,
those little babbling negative things that we all have.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Calls that a grimlin. And she named hers George Burns.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
And she said, anytime that she gets ready to go
do something important, she just hears George just babbling a way,
you can't do that, Nobody cares, nobody wants to hear
you whatever. And she says, George, you have to go
set in the corner because I don't have time to
talk to you today. I've got important things to go do.
And she doesn't pay that voice anymind, and she just
sets about going and doing what she needs to do.
And before self acceptance, we have to come to understand
(19:25):
that what we have to give is both valuable and needed,
and to keep doing the right thing, make a commitment
to ourselves. We're gonna keep growing, We're gonna keep at it,
We're gonna keep doing the right thing, no matter how
others respond, because not everybody's gonna get it, not everybody is,
no matter how excited enthusiastic where, not everybody's gonna want it.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Not everyode's gonna be.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Up for the journey. To take the trip with us.
I'm in Acts seventeen four and five. The story about
Paul continues that it says that speaking of his audience,
that some of them were persuaded and joined Paul in silence,
along with a large number of the god fearing Greeks
and a number of the leading women. But the Jews,
becoming jealous and taking along some wicked men from the marketplace,
formed a mob and set the city in an uproar
(20:09):
and attacking the house of Jason. They were seeking to
bring them out to the people. So not everybody's gonna
buy what you have to give, and that's okay. They
may cause you difficulty, but even that difficulty isn't gonna
stop your purpose. And there's so many people who are
going to be benefited. Focus on the ones who are connected,
(20:30):
who are being benefited, who are being blessed by who
you are and what you have to give, and let
that encourage you to keep going if you had. It
can be intimidating to go to people and do something
if you don't know how they're gonna respond.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
But think about this.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Think about if you were walking down a street and
you looked into the picture window of the front of
a house and you saw a family all seated at
the dinner table having a great time conversing and enjoy laughing,
enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
It would be very weird for you to just.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Go knock on the door and you know, barge into
that situation with no good reason.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Very weird.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
But what if you saw on the other side of
the house fire burning and the smoke rising. You wouldn't
feel nearly as uncomfortable going and knocking on their door
because the message that you had, what you had to
share with them was so important that they would immediately
recognize the need. And if they didn't, well, you've done
your job to try to get them out. You know,
(21:21):
it's on them then, but you would have fulfilled your
responsibility and most likely they're going to appreciate it and
thank you for That's how it is when we when
we start developing ourselves and putting our strengths to use,
we have to realize that what we have to give
is important. Other people do need it and it will
benefit them, and get out there and do it. Number
five is never compare your inner reality to someone else's
(21:43):
outward appearance. Comparisons are odious, as it's been said, and
we never want to compare what we feel like on
the inside to what somebody else looks like on the outside.
They may look like a perfect ten and might be
feeling like the last or as a summer in a
hail storm. I've known so many people who looked so
put together, but when it came down to it, they
(22:04):
ended up with more problems than you can possibly imagine.
I've known a lot of unfortunately suicides, and some of
them came from people who looked really well put together,
seem to be doing just great, but there was more
trouble on the inside. Don't compare how you feel on
the inside to what other people look like on the outside.
When we really get to know each other, we find Hey,
we've all got the insecurities, we've all got the misgivings
(22:25):
about ourselves and our strengths. But we have to encourage
each other to keep moving ahead and keep developing, keep
doing what we're made to do. Number six, the belief
that good will come to me. We have to believe
that good will come to us as we use our
gifts to help others, doing what we can in our
areas of strength. Will end up with greater appreciation from
the ones that we help. Whatever your gifted, whatever your
(22:46):
strength is, it's gonna end up benefiting somebody somehow, and
that's going to end up in appreciation from the ones
that we help and add value to. Some people might
resist us, they might because they're selfish or because they're
jealous of us, but they will eventually be seen for
what they are, and we'll be seen for what we
are when we get out there and use what we've
got to do good. And then lastly is a positive
(23:07):
life stance. We need to get a positive life stance,
and that positive life stance believes that even though difficulties come,
it acknowledges that there are difficulties in the life. You
don't have to be in denial to have a positive
life stance. But even though there are difficulties, life is good,
people are valuable, and the difficulties are ultimately outweighed by
(23:28):
the good. That's what a positive life stance is. It's
not your head in the sand, not admitting that there's
anything wrong, but it says, even though there are troubles,
it's worth it to keep going on and to keep
helping other people. We're told in Romans eight twenty eighth
that God causes all things to work together for good
to those who love him and are called according to
his purpose.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Well, what's his purpose?
Speaker 3 (23:48):
It's very simple, that's not some really pietistical religious thing.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
What's God's purpose?
Speaker 3 (23:53):
It is and always has been, to have us know
how greatly we're loved and desired, and to help others
see for themselves and know how valuable they are. That's
what the gospel message is is to understand or to return,
I'm sorry, to understand and return to the love and
value that God sees us with. That's what that's all
it is. That's what God's purpose is. And when we're
(24:14):
using our gifts to help others see their value and
add value to them, we're aligned with them.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Jeff will be back shortly to wrap up today's message.
This is Gabriela still on the scene today with Top
Network Radio. If you're just tuning in, you're listening to
Empowered Living with Jeff Byrd. If you've missed any part
of today's message, you can hear it again online as
well as the entire archive of Empowered Living at www
(24:43):
dot Topnetwork Radio dot com or search keyword hashtag empowered Living.
We would like to acknowledge our music partners, Sound Ideas
for Corporate to the Max and Kevin McLeod for Airport Lounge.
Any script chad during this broadcast are from the New
(25:04):
American Standard version of the Holy Bible. If you would
like to learn more about Jeffrey Bird Coaching, visit www
dot Jeffbirdcaching dot com.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
That is j E F F b y r D
Coaching dot com. Do a Facebook search for at coaching Rocks,
or drop Jeff a line at Jeff at Jeffbirdcaching dot
com Again j E F F B y r D
Coaching dot com. Let Jeff's coaching rocks be the building
(25:40):
blocks of your empowered success.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Now let's go back to Jeff.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
For the rest of today's message.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
So I want to give you six applications from what
we've talked about today. The first thing I want to
ask you is what would you do if you knew
you couldn't fail. You probably heard that question before, but
think about that. If failure was off the table, if
you weren't worried about anything, what would you do?
Speaker 2 (26:04):
What would you love to do?
Speaker 3 (26:05):
What are the things you're good at that you're passionate
about doing that benefit other people. But what would you
do if you knew you couldn't fail? Number two? What
are you gifted to do? Even if you do fail?
What are your gifts?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Maybe?
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Maybe you know, maybe other people have told you throughout
your life and you've just never done anything with it.
Other people telling me what they saw in me has
greatly helped me to understand what my gifts are and
to develop those.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Maybe you need help like.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
The books Strengths Finders two point zero, where there's a
little test and they can tell you what some of
your greatest strengths are and give you ideas of how
to apply them. There are resources there.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Number three.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
If you do fail, what can you learn from the failure?
Think of other failures in your life. Think of failures
that you've known in other people, or that you've read about,
that you've heard about. What have they learned from them
and how much has it helped them. Michael Jordan said
that you know he had learned to embrace failures. He's
(27:05):
missed so many game winning shots, he's had so many difficulties.
He was even cut from the high school basketball team.
But he said he's failed and he's failed, and he's failed,
and that is why he succeeds. He's learned from the failures.
The failure showed him what areas to work on, what
area is to strengthen it. Now that's why he's a success.
What can you learn from your own failures? Number four?
(27:27):
What might you and others gain from the experience? Just
the experience of you getting out there and doing what
you'd love to do, what you're gifted to do, even
if you're doing it afraid. If you get out there
and do it, what might you picture? What might you
and others gain? Where could it go, what opportunities might
come from it? How far might it go? Just envision
(27:48):
those things, get those in your mind. That'll encourage you.
Number five, how might the attempt help you in the future?
Just getting out there and trying like that I shared
with that first presentation I ever gave. Anybody would come
up and respond to me. Have the VP of the
company I was with come up and make an offer
to me to do a whole lot of training. You know,
you never know how the attempt might help us in
(28:11):
the future. And number six is just we'll close with
this is really, what do you have to lose. You know,
if you're where you are and it's not fulfilling, you
know you've got strengths. You know that there's more you
just even if you don't know how to get there,
you just feel that tug, that little tug on your heart.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
I remember one day.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Getting up and getting ready for work, and all of
a sudden, I just realized I didn't have anything.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I was done.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I just sat down on the edge of the bed
and I just prayed something to the effect of God,
I'm grateful that I've got a job. I'm grateful for
all the good it's provided me, But this isn't me,
and I don't even know what I need to do,
and I don't even know how to get there. But
I know you know, and I'm asking you to do
that for me.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
You know what. Amazingly, within three.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Months, I was out of that job and I was
in another work have my own business that was growing,
and that business led to it's photography business. That business
led to being seen by a friend from Kindergarten who
offered who contacted me and offered to interview me on
her television show and ended up telling me about coaching
(29:10):
and leadership training. And that totally resonated with me and
seemed to fit. And I started that four years ago
and now here I am and doors are opening up
all over the place.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
It's been. It hasn't been easy. Let me tell you.
It hasn't been easy.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
You know. It's it's hard to step out of a
full time job and start something on your own. I mean,
it was a huge financial loss, but the fulfillment of
what I do and the difference it makes is what
keeps me going. And now after some I've always had enough,
never missed any bills. God's always seemed to provide enough.
But uh, there's been some really tight times and now
things are starting to pick up and move along. It
(29:42):
takes a little while, but the fulfillment, even during the
tough times, from the people that have been benefited by
what I've been doing, has been has kept me going,
and I'm so I could never look back. Just like
I told you earlier, my friend she said that the
offer she had with her corporate job was a gilded cage,
but it was still a cage. And that is I'm
not you go quit your job. I'm telling you find
what those strengths are that are underutilized and those capabilities
(30:06):
and start developing them and looking for ways to use
them to help other people. What you have to give
to the world is needed, and your gifts may differ
tremendously from mine or from the next person's, but you
have something that somebody needs. In your family and your friends,
in your community, at your work somewhere, there are people
(30:30):
who need what you've got, and when you develop it
and help them, you're not only going to feel appreciated
by them, You're gonna make a difference. You're gonna feel fulfilled,
and you're gonna have joy. You're gifted to make that difference,
and it's really fulfilling our responsibility to God into the world.
By developing ourselves. We owe it to everybody else and
(30:51):
we get the joy in the process, but we do
owe it to them. It is a responsibility to become
our best, to make the most difference that we can. So,
as has been said by one of my mentor's, Paul Martinelli,
take your leap and grow your wings on the way down.
Don't wait until you've got it all together. You don't
have to be great to start, but you do have
to start to become great. So take the leap, grow
(31:13):
the wings on the way down, learn, enjoy the experience,
enjoy the communication with others who are growing and learning
from their experiences and them from yours, and have a
good time to do it. Do it afraid, but just
do it because the world needs you. I'm going to
leave you with this quote by it Ralph Marston. He said,
you've done it before, and you can do it now.
(31:35):
See the positive possibilities, redirect the substantial energy of your
frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Thank you so much for joining me today. I'm jeff Bird.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
This is Jeffrey Bird Coaching and this is empowered living
God bless you and we'll see you next time. The
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