Healing Stories | Episode # 152 | Encore Episode # 13

Empowered Living With Jeff Byrd.

Welcome to Empowered Living. Listen as Jeff tackles critical issues in a way that brings "Insight for business, leadership, and life!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello, this is Gabriella on the scene today with Talk
Network Radio. We have a real dread for you just
around the corner, and that is Empowered Living.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
With Jeff Bird.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Jeff is the owner of Jeffrey for Coaching and.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
He will be coming to you weekly to teach.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
You more about empowered living. Now let's join Jeff already
in the studio.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hello and welcome. This is Jeff Berber, Chef Coaching, and
this is Empowered Living. Our topic today is going to
be on healing stories. Healing stories. Now, this is how
to heal a story, but it's also about stories that
have been healed, and the stories that have been healed
are often very very useful in helping heal other people's stories. Now,

(01:21):
maybe you're like me. It often does not encourage me
at all to hear stories of how well people are
doing it. They're just doing great in their life, is
wonderful than they got a billion dollars and blah blah
blah blah blah. And if that usually doesn't encourage me,
that usually makes me aware of how far I think
I've got to go. But what often encourages me is

(01:43):
somebody who's doing well, but who shares our story of
how they got there. I heard Les Brown, a very
famous international speaker, sharing a story the other day of
how he struggled to pay his bills. Now that encouraged me,
because hey, wow, this guy's been is bad or worse
off than I've been, and now he's doing great and

(02:05):
he shares the process. He's got a story to tell
that helps heal my story and give me hope and
give me confidence. So it's not the people who just
share their stories of how great they're doing. It's the
people who are doing well, but who have that story
of how bad off they've been, how tough it was,
how difficult, how much they struggled. Those stories that they
persevered through, that they overcame, those are the ones that

(02:28):
really encouraged me. Now I want to share a passage today,
and that's how I start the shows. If you've been listening,
you know that. And this is something from Scripture, and
this is the apostle Paul speaking about his story. He's
telling his friends in corinth a little bit about his
own story, and he's speaking about Jesus here in one
Corinthians fifteen, verses six through ten, and what he shares

(02:51):
is this, he says, after that he appeared to more
than five hundred brethren at one time, most of whom
remain until now, but some have fallen in sleep. Then
he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, and
last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared
to me also, for I am the least of the apostles,

(03:12):
and not fit to be called an apostle, because I
persecuted the Church of God. But by the grace of God,
I am what I am. Wow. Paul has a story.
If you're familiar with his story, he really he persecuted
people who believed in Christ, who believed in what God
had done for them so much. He was one of
the first martyrs, was a man by the name of Stephen,

(03:35):
and he was there at the time. He was there
holding the coats of the people who were throwing stones
at him and who killed him, and he was in
a hearty agreement with him. He was cheering for Stephen
to die. So when he talks about himself, he's not
proud of his past. He even when he says in
this verse and last of all is to one untimely born,

(03:56):
he's considering himself like a stillborn child. I don't deserve anything.
I deserve the absolute work. But by the grace of
God I am. When I am. He became someone who
wrote most of the New Testament. He started the church
back at that time in the world, in the gentile world,
the non Jewish world, and he is one from whom

(04:19):
so many of us, through the last couple of thousand
years have understood what Christ did for us, understood who
we are. He has influenced so many people because of
the grace of God that didn't throw him away, didn't
destroy him when he probably should have been, but who
extended grace to him. So his healing story help has

(04:39):
helped me and so many other people realize, Wow, no
matter how bad I was back then, no matter how
many mistakes I am, the grace of God is big
enough to overcome those and to help me move forward now.
The other day I came across a story from NPR Radio,
and this was a really beautiful story about a young girl.
And this young girl was born into an ex extreamly

(05:00):
for a family. They lived down off of a dirt
road in New Mexico, and they just struggled to make
ends meet and to pay the bills, and they ended
up having to move because there was a meningitis outbreak
in the area and they wanted to protect the kids
from that, so they moved, and a cool thing happened
at this place they moved to. This young young girl

(05:21):
named Sylvia Acevedo. She went to the new school, and
she didn't know anybody. She felt out of place, but
a classmate of hers befriended her and invited her to
become a Girl Scout. So she joined the Girl Scouts,
and she found a home, if you will, and the
Girl Scouts, and she was on a camping trip at
them one time and she was standing by herself and
she was looking up at the night sky, just at

(05:42):
all the stars and all the beauty of the night.
And her Scout leader saw her doing this and came
over beside her and started explaining to her what she
was looking at. The constellations in their names, the planets
that she was seeing that were in a vision. Well,
that struck a chord with Sylvia, and she pursued this
love of this newfound love of the stars and of learning,

(06:05):
and she ended up she did well. She pursued her education.
She got her master's degree, in engineering from Stanford University.
She went on to become a rocket scientist with NASA. Wow,
that's pretty good. She went from looking at stars not
even know what she was seeing as a Girl Scout
to becoming a rocket scientist with NASA. But in twenty sixteen,
she did something that I think is very amazing. She

(06:26):
took a job back with the Girl Scouts as the
national CEO. Because she had this love of the Girl
Scouts and that's what it started her own success journey.
And she wanted to add value to these girls and
to help build them up the way she had been
built up and create a vision for them the way
someone had cast a vision for her. And she recently

(06:46):
wrote a book called Path to the Stars. And this
is an inspiring memoir for young leaders about this Latina
rocket scientist whose early life was transformed by joining the
Girl Scouts and who is now their CEO, and she
has met She wants to help these girls believe the
right thing. She wants to help heal our stories by
sharing her story of how she was healed. Now, this

(07:08):
woman's name is Sylvia Isadado. And one of her quotes
that was in this article I wrote, she said I'll
tell you about my high school counselor when she looked
at me and she saw a female, but she saw
a Hispanic girl. And so she said, girls like you
don't go to college. But you know what, that was
water off a duck stack, I showed her. So, don't

(07:30):
let anyone dissuade you with words. Don't let anyone say
you don't belong, don't let anyone do that. Being a
rocket scientist was my dream. But everyone has their own dream.
I hope girls read this book and get the message
you can live your dream. This one young girl who
had a dream cast for her by her friend and

(07:52):
who went on to fulfill those dream she's now going
back left the job with NASA to go back to
the Girls Scouse and to start encouraging these other young
girls that they can live their dreams, no matter what
anybody says to them. So she also said this was
a quote I thought was really good. Somebody asked her
what her favorite girl Scout cookie was and she said,
they're thin nets. She said, it's like aroma therapy for me.

(08:13):
Just smelling that thin net, I just feel calm. I
thought that was she With all these successes, she still
connects to the thin nets and even just the smell
of them. So as I read what had happened with
her and I thought about this, I thought, Wow, you know,
there's a process of feeling story. There's a process when
someone else comes to us to help us feel our stories.
The first thing in this process is that hey, they've

(08:35):
been where I am. Maybe they've even been in the
worst place and where I am. That gives me who
they once felt like I do. They once had what
I have. They once believed the things I'm currently believing.
They get it. They get me. They're not just telling
me how great things are for them and making me
feel so bad off. They're going, hey, I get exactly
where you are. I understand how you feel. I had

(08:56):
the same thoughts and the same beliefs as you. But
let me tell you what let me tell you what
happened in my There's a better way we can move
forward together. The second thing is that they believed different messages.
They didn't accept those feelings and beliefs as permanent. They
reached out to others. They accepted the input of others,
like Sylvia did with her Girl Scout leader, and they

(09:17):
listened to new messages about that work. They didn't accept
those negative ones, like that counselor that told her girls
like you don't go to college. They asked us, They
asked the question, who says so? What qualified somebody else
to speak to your value, your identity or your work.
Years ago, when I was a kid, I wasn't into
some of the main sports that the other kids around

(09:38):
me were, like baseball and football and basketball. I love golf,
I love tennis, I loved adminton, I love pingpong. I
love those kinds of sports, but not some of the
big sports. And there was a group of kids in
my neighborhood that would get together and they had a
local little league coach there that lived in the neighborhood,
and so they would get together just kind of play baseball.
I was hoping to learn something. So I went over

(09:58):
to upl all with them one day and they put
me on the team, and I just wasn't very good
at it. And I'll never forget that little league coach
instead of realizing I just didn't know what I was
doing and taking me side and started helping me. He
told me, in front of everybody else, you aren't worth it.
H'll of bee go play basketball, because I was a
pretty good shot at basketball, you know, I didn't run
very well, but he just told so. I remember, I

(10:20):
remember leaving all the other kids standing out in that
street and walking by myself over to somebody's backyard where
there was a basketball goal and just shooting baskets by
myself while everybody else was out playing baseball. But later
on I went back and I thought about that, and
I thought, who in the world did he think he
was to speak to my world? What kind of deception

(10:40):
and delusion did he have to think that he could
make that kind of value statement about me just on
the basis of how well I did or didn't play baseball.
All right, So what we tend to do, though, is
we tend to borrow others beliefs about us until we
adopt them as our own. So it really pays to
ask the question what messages so I'm believing and from

(11:02):
who are they coming and what qualifies them to even
give a message about my value to me? So the
positive message is to come from God about our value.
His value of us, and his estimation of us is
today You're worth everything. I'll give up every I will
move heaven and earth, and I will sacrifice everything my
own life is to get you that. That's how value

(11:22):
you are to move. And when we enforce these positive
messages from God, from other people around us, over time,
over time, that time and space repetition of those positive messages,
we come to believe the different Now. When we start
believing differently, what happened, we change on the inside. This
is number three. They changed on the inside. We changed
what we feel about ourselves and others. When they bring

(11:45):
to us positive stories, they're healing stories in their lives.
They tell us what they changed, what they felt about themselves,
what they felt about their lives, what they thought about
their future, and they adopted new ways of thinking and
believing on the inside. Instead of being despondent and rejected
and hopeless, they became hopeful. They became encouraged and started

(12:06):
to see themselves with being valuable and loved, was having
potential and having aptitudes and abilities that could be developed
that would be good for them and good for the
people around it. Now, Brenee Brown says that guilt, she
explained that differ was a guilt and shit. And she
says that guilt says, I made a mistake, whereas shame
says I am a mistake. And often, if we make

(12:28):
enough mistakes, if we have enough negative messages brought into
our lives, every time, we end up feeling ashamed of
who we are, not believing we have anything to develop
or that we have anything to offer. We end up
feeling on the inside, regardless of how we present on
the outside, that hey, I am a mistake. The world
doesn't need a me. But let me tell you today,
if you feel that way, the world needs you. You

(12:50):
were not a mistake. You were created by hand by God.
You were chosen, you were selected, You are lung and
what you have is something that the world around you need. Now,
let me tell you, nobody's been more surprised by this
truth than me. That there are things that I have,
things that I see that could be an encouragement to

(13:12):
other people. But when I share, when I go out,
when I speak, when we have groups on the air,
I am amazed at the feedback that I get and
the people who are encouraged by that. So don't you
believe that I'm someone who It took me years and
decades to come to believe this, but spent many years
not believe in it. So I get what it's like

(13:33):
to feel that. But hey, I'm just alone. I'm just
I'm outside or an outpass. I don't fit. I get that,
but it's not true. You have something. Every one of
us has something God given inside of us as strength
and aptitudes that can be developed that will help us,
that will give us success, and that will enable us
to help other people around us. The truth is the truth,

(13:54):
says shame says I'm a mistake. The truth says we
all make mistakes, that they are deemable and learnable, and
we have something others need. There's something in every one
of us to commutefit somebody else. Okay, So that's what
happens on the inside, when we change on the inside.
That leads to number four. The people with the healing stories,

(14:14):
they acted differently on the outside. The change started on
the in. They believe different things. They changed on the inside,
and now they started acting differently on the outside. Okay,
Just like Sylvia Astabato in this story, I told you,
once she started believing the right things, she started taking
the steps to get to college. Then she took the
steps to get to NASA. Then she took steps back

(14:35):
to the girls scouts to build up other girls, and
they acted differently on the outside. They started doing new things,
learning new things, relating to others differently, taking opportunities. But
before they didn't believe they could do going. Hey, even
if I make a mistake, even like Thomas Edison, if
I make ten thousand mistakes, I'm not a mistake. I'm learning.
I'm learning things about to do. I'm learning how it
doesn't work. Say Edison had over ten thousand failed experiments

(15:00):
before he finally created a light bulb. Now, look look
at what happened there. Look at the light bulbs all over.
Where would we be if he hadn't kept the first
of it right? So here's a few things. Though, They
identified areas that got results, and they started pursuing their
development and seeking opportunities to put them to use. So
what do you do? What is it that you do

(15:22):
that gets the best results? What do you do to
people are like, hey, you're good at that, or that
you enjoy doing that. You find fulfillment and doing and
find ways to develop that. It might be a book
you read about it. It might somebody you know who's
farther down the road than the road that you can
talk to it might be a podcast, but finding ways
to continue to develop those areas and then to put
them to use. You don't have to be the best

(15:43):
in the world. I have to start doing something that
makes a difference to somebody. Start doing what you can
today where you are with what you've got. Okay, They
also they started operating in their areas of giftedness. When
you're in an area that you're naturally gifted at and good,
it opens more doors for you because you're going to
get better results. Don't put all your time and effort

(16:03):
into an area that you're not very good at, that
you don't really like that much, just because maybe somebody
else thinks you should find something that you love doing
that you're good at. It gets to put your energies
into those things you're going to get the best results
from them. And then remember this is very very important,
Remember that success doesn't mean you've arrived. Success means you
are advanced. Back in the Book of Genesis in the Bible,

(16:27):
we read about a young man named Joseph and that
he went through a terrible time. He was sold by
his brothers in the slavery in a foreign land. The
land of Egypt. He was falsely accused by the slave owners.
His owner's wife. He was falsely accused by her and
thrown him to prison, and he was there for a
long time. But we're told that even while Joseph was

(16:49):
a slave in Potiphar, that was the person who bought him.
In Potiphar's house, it says that the Lord was with him,
and he was a successful man, and he didn't known anything.
The Potiphar owned everything he was part of. He didn't
have anything in his bank account. But scripture says he
was a successful man. What it means is he was advancing,
He was becoming bigger on the inside than he was

(17:09):
on the outside. And eventually when the right time came,
he stayed faithful, stayed faithful through all of those difficulties
in those trials, and in one afternoon Pharaoh took him
who was the ruler of Egypt. Pharaoh took him out
of prison, made him ruler over Egypt, just under himself,
and he was able to save two nations in one
afternoon because of the wisdom God gave him. As he

(17:32):
stayed faithful, he was able to save the land of
Egypt from starvation, and also the family that would become
the nation Israel today from starvation. So stay at it.
It means to keep advancing, keep growing on the inside,
even if you don't see the results on the outside.
Keep growing on the inside. We got to remember the
story of the Chinese bamboo tree. Now, if you've never

(17:54):
heard the story of the Chinese bamboo tree, you need
to know the story of the Chinese bamboo tree. Because
Chinese bamboo tree is an amazing tree. It can grow
eighty to ninety feet in five weeks. Think about that,
eighty to ninety feet in five You can almost watch
the Chinese damboo tree grove. If you put up markers
every day, you'd come back to be about a footballer.

(18:15):
That's an amazing growth way for any plant. But here's
the thing with the Chinese damboo tree. It takes that
Chinese bamboo tree five years of being nurtured before it
starts to grow. It is developing a root system and
infrastructure and ability to access nutrients in the soil for
five years before it begins to grow. Just think if

(18:38):
you were a Chinese bamboo tree farmer and you're at
there three years in you're still watering those Chinese bamboo
seeds every day and you don't see any growth that
could get discouraged. But if you keep on at it
till five years, keep watering, keep every day, doing what
needs to be done to nurture and to help provide
the nutrients for that bamboo tree, and after five years,
you'll see that thing grow and it can eighty to

(19:00):
ninety feet in five weeks if you stick at it. Now.
Number five they achieved because they had Let me just
review these again for you, just briefly the process of stories.
Number one, they've been where I am. Number two, they
believe different messages. Number three they changed on the inside.
Number four they acted differently on the outside. And number
five they achieved different results. They may not have always

(19:24):
succeeded the first time, but they believed they could do it,
and they kept on until they did. It happened little
by little, just like with that bamboocher, but they didn't
give up. They persevered. Perseverance is an extremely valuable quality.
Anytime you try to undertake anything worthwhile, it's going to
be uphill. John Maxwell said that everything worthwhile is uphill,

(19:45):
and so we've got to stick at it. Most people
give up just before they had their break, just before
they really started to throw it, just before they'll be
things successful. Don't give up, keep believing the right things,
bring the people around you who believe and you don't.
Don't spend time, don't waste your energy on the nay sayers,
and number six this is the last one. They passed
on the result. They then saw how our story had

(20:07):
been healed, and they passed their story onto others to
help fuel our story. They saw how valuable their experience
was and how many people needed be encouragement to believe
in themselves and their value and do things differently and
get new results. Sharing our story is here. That's the
reason we have this podcast. That's the reason why I
love coming in here and being with you every week,
so that I can hopefully share something from my experience

(20:29):
or my story or another person's story that I've heard
that will encourage you to keep at it, to keep believing,
to change. On the inside, we do things differently on
the outside, we get different results, and we keep moving
in here. We have to remember that the only way
our hard learned lessons are not lost is to plant
them in the heart of another person. We go through

(20:50):
all this difficulty and then we get good, good experience.
But let's not let it in there with us. Let's
pass it on. Let's share the story, Let's share the
lessons we've run so that other people can benefit. Keep
going too, all right, I'm going to be back with
you in just a minute, and we're going to wrap
up with the applications for today. But first we're gonna
have a short rain. Jeff will be.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Back shortly to wrap up today's message. This is Gabriela
still on the scene today with Top Network Radio. If
you're just tuning in, you're listening to Empowered Living with
Jeff Bird. If you've missed any part of today's message,
you can hear it again online as well as the
entire archive of Empowered Living at www dot Topnetwork Radio

(21:34):
dot com or search keyword hashtag empowered Living. We would
like to acknowledge our music partners Sound Ideas for Corporate
to the Max. I'm Kevin McLeod for Airport Lounge. Any
scriptures read during this broadcast are from the New American
Standard version of the Holy Bible.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
If you would like to learn more about Jeffrey Bird
Coaching www dot Jeffberg Coaching dot com. That is j
E F F b y r D Coaching dot com.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
Do have Facebook search for at coaching rocks or.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
Drop Jeff aligne at Jeff at jeff Berg Coaching dot com.
Again j E F F b y r D Coaching
dot com. Let Jeff's coaching bocks be the building blocks
of your empowered success. Now let's go back to Jeff
for the rest of the day's message.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
Alrighty, so for the applications for today's podcast is Number one,
what's your story? What's your story? Where were you once
that you are no longer? How did you get from
point A to point What steps did you take that
others might learn from? Now? If you feel like, well,
I'm not there, my story is still well in the process.

(22:58):
I don't even know how to get to where I want?
You ask yourself this, who is where you want to be,
that has been where you are? Who can you listen to?
Who can you who has a book out, who has
a podcast? Who has who can you be around? Who
can you have coffee with? And you can ask questions
that you can learn from it. You can get to
be a thinking partner in a mentor real Number two,

(23:19):
what messages have you embraced that have helped you move forward?
Now you may say, well, I'm needing good message. That's
why I'm listening to you. Yeah, and I hope I'm
giving you something helpful. So ask yourself what messages would
help you, and how can you remind yourself of the
truth on a daily basis, The truth about your value,
the truth about your potential, the truth about the steps

(23:41):
you can take, the different results you can get in,
the success you can have. And also ask yourself this,
what is the opposite of any negative I am message?
Sometimes we feel I am not able, I am whatever.
Fill in the length with whatever you feel you are

(24:01):
that isn't what you want to be, and find the
opposite of it. Use that law of polarity if you can.
If you can say, state the negative about yourself, state
the positive about yourself. I am gifted, I am able,
I am talented, I can make good decisions, I can
get better results, I can move forward. Think of those
positive things and put those messages in number three. What

(24:24):
needs to change on the inside? Now, if you're already
well down the road, what did change on the inside?
How did you start looking differently at your value, your potential,
your capacity to love and be loved, your ability to
affect positive change around the world. What changed on the
inside or if you feel you're not you're not where
you want to be? What needs to change on the inside?

(24:45):
How do you need to look at yourself differently and
believe differently about yourself? Number four? What needs to change
on the outside? Okay, now, now, if you if you've
taken some great steps by you've got good things. You
change things on the outside, you've got different results. You
have a story to tell. People need your story. But
if you're still looking for that, what positive and true

(25:07):
beliefs about your gifts and ability on the inside can
help you make different decisions from the outside. What strengths
do you have that you can move forward on it
you can maximize that you can build and develop. What
different decisions can you make different than what you've always
made that might get better results. Who's been where you
are that made different decisions that you can imitate that
you can mimic that you can do the same things

(25:29):
they did, take those same steps and get your better
results too. Number five. Always remember results will come with
persistence and commitment to development and use of your gifts.
Remember that Chinese bamboo tree. Remember Joseph while he was
a slave, yet God called him successful. He was rushing forward,
he was advancing on the inside, just like that bamboo

(25:50):
tree needs so much nurturing underneath the ground where it's
not visible, just like us on the inside, before it
ever has that big, huge growth spurt on the outside.
We all want the gross we all want to see
that success. We want it overnight. We get impatient with it,
but there's a process of development that we'll get us
there if you stage heated the process. And lastly, number six,

(26:10):
who can benefit from your journey? There's always somebody who
needs to know what you've learned and to be encouraged
to keep going. Every single one of us we're a
little farther down the road than somebody else's. There's something
we have that can be encouraging, and there's nothing that's
encouraging for us as an encouraging for us as being
able to encourage somebody else. Every day that I encourage

(26:32):
somebody like that was a good day. That was a
day that made a difference. That was a day that
I ended up and so did somebody else better than
we were yesterday. So I encourage you to keep it that,
keep those healing stories coming into your mind, and keep
your story of healing going out to other people who
might need it. Thank you so much for joining me.
It's a pleasure to be with you. I'm je jeff

(26:53):
Berg Coaching and I look forward to the next one.