September 10, 2025 • 38 mins
Welcome to Empowered Living. Listen as Jeff tackles critical issues in a way that brings "Insight for business, leadership, and life!
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Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello, this is Gabriella on the scene today with Top
Network Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
We have a real treat for you.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Just around the corner, and that is Empowered Living with
Jeff Bird. Jeff is the owner of Jeffrey for Coaching
and he will be coming to you weekly to teach
you more about empowered living. Now, let's join Jeff already
in the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hello and welcome. Let's Jeff Bird of Jeffrey Bird Coaching
and this is Empowered Living. Now.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Today we have a very special treat for you. My
longest standing friend, a friend who, believe it or not,
I met when I was four years old in kindergarten,
is going to be on the show with us today.
Her name is Barbara Valentine, Gustave's son, and Barbara, thank
(01:27):
you so much for being here.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Yes, oh my goodness. Can you believe that it's been yeah,
since kindergarten. I remember the playground class and I yeah,
it's pretty crazy, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
It is absolutely crazy? And who would have known?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
You know?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
There, it just goes to show there there just are
no coincidences. You know, everything is purposeful, and it may
take several decades to realize what the purpose was. But
we never dreamed we would have both had our own
coaching businesses. And you actually introduced me four years ago
to the John Maxwell team and helped me get started.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
And here we are.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Today on this podcast that I now have, and we
are now introducing the book that you just published.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I just got my copy in the mail this week, called.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Permission to Be Bold, So congratulations and I can't wait
to dig in here and read this.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Thanks. I appreciate it, and glad you you know your
book arrived. I fed earlier. My books have not even
arrived yet, so the author books take quite a bit longer.
So I'm thrilled you've got your money.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
It's amazing how that works.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
You know.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Amazon definitely has their act together.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah, and you'll be able to see that link for
those of you who are watching this live on Facebook,
you'll be able to see the link to the book
as we go through the show here. But I'm here
it is. I've got my copy in the studio, and
it's called Permission to Be Bold, A guide to being yourself,
living fully and leaving your.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Mark on the world.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
What three fabulous topics, And Barbara, what I really want
to do is give I want to hear your story.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
I want to hear more about this.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I know some of your story, but I'm looking very
very forward to hearing more and introducing your journey here
that led to the book, that led to the coaching
practice to our listeners and our viewers here today. So
I want to ask you. First question I have is
why bold? What what does that mean to you? And
(03:37):
what has been your journey that led to this book.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Yeah, it's been quite a journey. And for those who
like the bottom line up front, the reason why I
wrote this book that I want to help people to
find what bold living ada, you know, oldest, happiness, success,
Those are general terms that we tountil we get really
(04:03):
specific from what that means for us, not with the
next person. We generally go into this default state, you know,
to live while we are happy or you know, joyful
or successful. But what is school living for you? And
what is it say we're in because we go to
(04:25):
the bottom, right, And so that's kind of the bottom
line up right. But when I woke back up my childhood,
I was anything but bold. Fact that I was, I
hid behind my mom and I just I had so
many years that began at an early age, I had
(04:45):
a lot of TIBs, the drama that was bolluticide, I
would say, by the early elementary years and at home,
and I became this law flower mainly as a form
of self protection. I was really pleasing my teachers, my parents,
my friends, and I didn't know who I was and
(05:09):
I didn't know how to do myself because so the
easiest thing for me to do was not stand out,
you know, just behind them. And it really solidified this
view I had of how the world existed by my
also my myself, my god, life in general. And so
(05:30):
I lived through those filters for several decades until about
seven years ago. So the interesting thing, though is even
though I had the you know, life of hiding, I
felt one whispering to me so many years to live boldly.
And it's ironic that it was a whisper, and that
like a boom, you know, hit on the head by
(05:52):
a two by four, it was a gentle whisper. So
faris boldly. And it always confused me because if such
an opposite of what I had been living, I didn't
know how to do it. I didn't know how people
and my view of bold was you know, very different
(06:13):
than I do it now. And and so for many
you know, several I would say about the third years
instead of stepping into that I ran I did. And
we hear of how fear affects us, you know the
fight flight or you know freeze I thing I tended
to freeze or just completely inplode and the straw. And
(06:38):
it's a lot of times people didn't have any idea
what was going outside me. I was very good and
putting a smile on my face, acting like everything was okay.
It was a very nice person these people, and so
no one really had a clue. And honestly I didn't
understand what was going on inside. Had all getting what
(07:00):
were so like coving uh And I think we get
really good at coding any time we're trying to still
mask or hide the fear or putting down our pain.
In my form of tiding busy, I would even hide
behind gold as a mother, as a wife, as a
(07:24):
worker in the corporate world, I would hide behind my
work if I would have to be with my pain
or just the discomfort of out. And so I have
these patterns that I would live in unintensively, but it
was easier for anything else does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
That does that? Does I like that?
Speaker 3 (07:46):
And you know so often, you know, I was thinking
to myself prior to our show today, you know when
I think about bold what what does that?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
What image does that conjure in my mind? Then?
Speaker 3 (07:58):
And I think of very scary things, or at least
they're scary to me, like jumping off a cliff in
a windsuit, you know, or repelling or like the opening
scene in Mission Impossible to you know, where he's like
climbing bare handed up a you know, rock facens and
it makes my hands sweat just talking about it. But
what you're talking about is something not like that, not
(08:21):
doing something that's totally not you. But it was almost
It sounds like to me the boldness was actually having
the courage to really beat you, if that was exercising
a true strength or gift that you had that was
just being underutilized or not utilized because of a fear
(08:43):
or a fear of just opening up and saying, hey,
this is really where I'm I am. It's not what
you see, it's not what I want to be, but
this is kind of where I am. So for you,
how how would you really narrow down and define what
that if you were to put a definition on personal boldness,
what would that be.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Well, I'm a pleasure brought that up because it was
really a process of discovery and exploring whether it's cold
and what is it for me? And uh, interestingly enough,
if you go to different dictionary resources, some of the
first words that we are exactly what to subscribe up
(09:24):
on doing the grandiose, fast and furious, you know, daring things,
you know, these big achievements. Thinks that really externally stands
out it and I realized that's really what the world's
too of fold is and that's what I believe that
it was to it and it can be but on
(09:47):
some of those words to stroll down it's more subtle.
But you'll also seek some other words that don't quite
stand out as much. It's thinks like having courage, I
think sant that also having a mad station setting yourself
And so I realized a lot of full from inside.
(10:08):
It's internal. It's about being different, it's about developing thought happen.
It's about creating our lives, you know, with our imagination.
And for me that was a paradigm because I realized
Bible was more intertransformation eventually it'll get the matter external results.
(10:31):
But I had been so focused on the outward steps.
I had been stepping a little bit too bigly and thinking,
and what I realized was experience resistance. I wasn't quite
ready for this big step yet. And so it was
reported play about station in a transformation and and so
(10:52):
some of the things that I found that we're both
for me and these are things that don't make a
choice to speak, setting clear boundaries, creating healthy boundaries with
ourselves the people around them, things like learning to say no.
Typically we say yes because still obligated versus really want
(11:15):
to do that thing. And I was caught up in
that and the energy get that thinking I had to
say yes because I had to always be available to
people and help people. But I realized that's a strength
in a position where I start to have unhelped patterns
and I build up resentment and so uh that for
(11:39):
our pulmarkin Ellie, that nothing good growth on the soil
of application. And that just really stuck us forward with
because I realized by my own schoce, I had done
that build up because I would say yes to obligation.
So learning to say know and become more sertive with
the very comfortable but a very gold internal step for
(12:03):
me beat myself. That was huge because honestly, I didn't
know who I was, so allowing myself to exploring it,
to know myself, focus on who I'm coming. That was
a cute breakthrough for me, discovering what my strengths were,
my purpose, so all of these and then I realized
(12:27):
where what eyebold is. And there's times where I make
some bold external steps, but if I only focused on
that outward, I find a spearing It doesn't have that purpose.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Hey man, it just doesn't have the impact.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
And I love that quote and I want to just
state it again in case somebody might have been writing
it down from Paul Martinelli? Is it nothing good grows
from the soil of obligation?
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Got it?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
How free to only pick up and run with those
things that you feel resonating within you and not being
imposed from the outside.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Wow. I love that.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
But you know, I want to ask you about something
that you and I have chatted about this a little
bit in the past, and what I want to ask
you about relates to what you were mentioning. You mentioned
it a couple of times here on the inner world,
and it reminds me, and I just read it this morning.
It just popped up randomly. I didn't intend to read it,
but it was. It was in the Gospel of Luke,
(13:32):
and it's a story of the talents and people using
their talents and using the gifts they've been given.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And there's a couple of them who do really well.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
They invest themselves, they take what they've been given and
they make more. And then there's one guy that doesn't.
But the reason that he doesn't is because of what
he's believing or not on the inside. And I wonder,
I note that this parable.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Has had some significant meaning to you personally.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Could you share just a little bit about what that
parable means to you and about, uh, the inner beliefs
that were that were hindering you before you actually kind
of broke free and started really using your gifts, which
we're all so glad you are.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Oh yeah, thank you. I this particular story of the
Bible has such great meaning because there's you know, like
you said, there's the one that invested in their talents.
Of course we're talking about money in the Bible, but
I literally think of it as my talent because I
just struck a forward with me. So I was the
(14:38):
guy had my talent very for here and what I
find interesting intentionally very talent it does a whole you know,
barry the money whenever. And so I think there's sometimes
not with our talent. You know and you are, but
there's also this where maybe we don't know what our
(15:03):
talents are, or maybe we don't know how to go
about uncovering them. And so at first that's where I
was coming from. I truly did not know what my
strength gifts work, and that has been a journey all
on its own. I have a couple of diagnosed learning
(15:23):
challenges and so those actually kept me from what my
talents were. So about seven years ago I went to
their help them through those art challenges and the process
it uncovered from my greatest talents. And so for those
who are listening to feel like they don't believe they
(15:44):
have a strength that they could offer the world, it's
inside you, even if you don't see it yet. But
it's also our responsibility to cover that and it they
require them and clean off. But it's completely possible to
(16:04):
you know, discover what your talents are. And I believe
that our people can help us, you know, find what
those are. So that's kind of a journey I was
going on. But I also in my talents intentionally my
discovered what they were. I was really I found I
think growing up in the household that I said, it
(16:25):
was a very loving environment that like any family, we
all have our stuff. That uh, there was an over
emphasis on being corumbled you not signing their life, no
brag and stuff, and so I overdew that and so
I was afraid to share my gifts the world. I
thought that that I was born, you know that I
(16:47):
thought I was all bad. And so I had to
real both belief the stuff going on on what it
meant to shine your life. And so I had to
really go that process. I'm really thankful for that growth,
but going through it it doesn't feel so good. But
I had to really come to terms with and my
points to be with the gifts that I right now,
(17:12):
where am I going to get some scary and so
I had a choice and I decided uncover them. And
it was a scary process at times because it was
something completely it looked that I had been doing and
I feel like I wake up. All was when my
mom passed away into about me, and it's really because
(17:33):
take a look at my life and I decided I
really wanted to make account from here on and I
couldn't make it count doing the same things I had
been doing for years. That I really had to take
a look at what is bold to me. And now
that I'm discovering what that is, I myself or am
(17:57):
I going to take accent on it? I I can't
really deliberately start the books the house where I could
grow at. So I started looking for my purpose and
I started growing. I been into complaine and I found
ironically my biggest year was in public and I think
(18:18):
only how had to take you hard, and it just
seems for me, I didn't have a bullbone in my body,
but I just have feeling gone with her, you know,
before you're on the right track, I think this journey.
And so it really was through that week up Fallen
turning point that I began I feel really starting and
(18:44):
deliberately growing.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah, wow, that's that's great.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
What a journey, you know, and I can I can
relate personally too, you know when you say that it
was other people were part of that mechanism that helped
you helps you understand that you even had gifts they
You know, often we need other people to help us
see it in us what we do not naturally see
in ourselves. But one of the things that I know,
(19:10):
I know you're gonna resonate with, and I see this
all the time myself, is people who have gifts and
abilities and insights and experiences that not only do they
need to really understand the value of them, but the
world around them needs that.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It needs that so much.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
And I think I know just since you started this journey,
your journey launched my journey.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
And that's just one little illustration you know of the difference.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
You know that's made when we start that, but as
you work with and you work with a lot of
other people, you're around a lot of others, when what
do you think those voices sound like in their pens
and in their hearts when they hear that, Hey, you've
got something that people need.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You got a tremendous if you can make a huge difference.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
What are what are some of those hindrance this and
and what does it sound like internally, maybe in the
conscious mind or maybe in the other than conscious mind,
But what are some of those some of those laws
about their identity and ability that maybe we could expose
some of them, bring them to the surface that people
might resonate with.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
What are some of the ones you come across most.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Commonly, Yeah, And I like the way that you could
that you know in the lies that I believe it
because I think when it comes down to there are
things that we've been holding us truth that at the
base of it there is a lie. There may be
a kernel of truth in that that we build the
story around it. And so something There's several things that
(20:43):
come up commonly when I'm talking. Uh. One of the
things is often people think they have to have a
certain personality or they have to have a high I
for certain charisma to people you know, living and I
have found that that's not true. We have that in it,
(21:05):
but it's not true only inside of one and it
looks different for everyone. And the thing is that when
it's inside, it gets to activated. And for me, I
feel like I tapped it because I feel strongly that
my boldness from my source from God gave that to me.
But because he will I had tapped into that, I
(21:28):
had not to stand still and wait for it to
come to me. I had to take accent even on
the admitting steps, which I feel are sometimes the most
important on baseball steps. So I don't believe that like
as a as a strong introvert, this was probably one
of my drawbacks. I felt like I had to have
(21:52):
all the energy and for Arsm, he's a motivational speacret,
that just wasn't. I had to really get know myself
and love myself exactly how I am and find out
where dedium off balance. I could be sumizing strengths overboard
and it's going up as a weakness, or I could
(22:14):
be underutilizing them as well. So you know, that's definitely
the stress that I hear. And they feel like they
just don't have a personality. Oh, another big one and
probably why I use the word permission in this book.
It's some tips you don't give themselves to do it.
(22:37):
And it's tied because they're clear about what they want
and it's been clear about the strategy that there's something
that's holding them back where if they take through a
three steps, it's like a rubber band, they stoop back.
You know that think so And what I've found is
we talk about that word, it's up a lot because
(23:01):
the big brest word so much so that I think
it's the meaning of it concluded, but it's so powerful.
H It's very deliberate, but it can also specific thanks
and for giving myself permission was my very first step
in terms the living out my purpose. And so what
(23:22):
I've found is a lot of people there's reasons why
people don't give them self permission. It could be, you know,
they don't feel worthy. They could still say. I've to
people who have struggled with the survivors not just that disasters,
but growing up in certain family dynamics where they feel
(23:43):
like they don't they aren't worthy because signs are like
or they're feel guilty that someone will feel badly that
they're doing so well. So there's different reasons why people
don't give them self permission. Another one is they might
feel like wool think they're selfish because they're giving to themselves,
(24:03):
or they're loving themselves for different reasons. But the thing is,
if we don't comment ourselves so forward, we don't allow ourselves,
we're always going to have that resistance. And I believe
it's way way way back to our early output. We
could go into the deep DISGUSSI. I hear it more
in my books. But there's so many things about permission
(24:25):
go way beyond just I guess or hope for permission stake.
But it's really tide to validate that we feel well.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
I cannot wait to read some more about that.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Yeah, just as you were talking about that, permission, lots
of lots of questions perform me. But the one that
came to my mind, and I'm not even sure why,
is what did permission feel like?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
What did permission feel like for me? Right?
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Were there any feelings that you could associate with when
you said, Okay, I am going to give myself permission
just to start to start discover bring my strength or
just start putting them into action.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
What were there any feelings that were associated with that?
Speaker 4 (25:07):
That's that's the thing that you have. That and yet feeling,
I mean just top up in our minds excitement and fear.
And it's not the kind of fear like I'm going
to beat fire bear or something like this, almost a
different kind of fear of like a stepping into the
fastness of the unknown. But I know that it's an
(25:29):
intentionally plan for me. In fact, I think and I apologize.
I don't know exactly where there's this that I was
told that there's sure of the worst fear, you know,
there's the fear with the doubt and worry that there's
also this fear of reverence and stepping into known and
(25:50):
just the awe of that. So when I admit myself
giving myself permission, it's the awe that's over while you're feeling,
and that there's this excitement of bloody go.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Well.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
And I love that response, you know, and I love
what you said that you're stepping into something that's been
intentionally prepared for you.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
This is something you've.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Been meant to do and that you have been equipped
on the inside to do, but you've got to step
into it.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
But it's it's you're not going.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Alone, you're not going on You're going with other people.
You're going with the team, You're going with God's presence.
And it makes me think of a number of times
that I've pulled up to go do a presentation or
a workshop and sometimes with people who you know, a
lot more degrees on their wall and you know, uh,
different things that might be intimidating, and I'll think to
myself and think, well, I can't, but you can, you know,
(26:49):
speaking to God, and you're with me. So let's go,
you know, because I know that that's glad like our
mentor Mark Cole says, you know, sometimes we do not
feel qualified to be the table, but yet it's exactly
where we're meant to be, and then stepping into it,
great things happen.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah, but I want to back up for a minute.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I want to I want to focus us specifically on
your experience of writing the book, and I am just
dying to know. What are some of the biggest lessons
that you learned in the process of bringing the book
from the idea phase to the fact that hey, I've
got one right now that I'm holding up in my hand.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
A lot of us have a lot of great ideas,
and they're born and they die great ideas and they
never actually happen.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Everything that we have around us, as we've heard, is
the result.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Of an unrejected idea.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
You had the idea for the book, and you did things.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
What have What are some of the main things that
you've learned in the process of writing this book.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
It was probably the writing part was about us year process.
It really began to hear. Before that, I was sort
of a group and a lot of people writing books.
I got caught up in a lot of the energy
where I had to write a book because everybody else
is writing, and what I found was a lot of resistance,
(28:17):
and I got to the point where I didn't want
to write a book. I'm only doing it because other
people were telling me I didn't do it, and I
had to do it. And I made a decision to
get out of that energy for a while, just because
I was not at a place where I felt like
I enjoyed it, and it was such a great struggle.
(28:38):
I needed to get to a place where I felt like,
this is what I'm being told to do and I
just doesn't. So I had actually closed the door and
write a book that's not for me. I don't want to,
I wanted to, just which I'm so glad I followed
that because I let go of all that energy that
I had, so I really focused on the journey that
(28:59):
I felt stop pleading at the time and going some growth.
What I do is I started writing in my journal
and doing some dager feeling the com that I had
been such freedom and journaling and and the thing that
ironic thing is I not a habit writer. Fact by
(29:25):
I was one of those people that that's my essaye question, playing.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
On the test. My teatures love me.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
So coming from a place I'm not really a good writer.
But the same time, I feel like when we are open,
oh boy, God wants to tell us through writing, and
we have that illness and open you know it's you
writing through with I really got to the place where
I was regularly journey journaling with the intention of allowing
(29:56):
God to speak. You know, wouldn't want to know about me,
you know, what does he want for my life? And
so through that I began to get different connections with
my writing and then I fill not one day it
was like the little flank capot and I got excited
and I'm like, oh my gosh, I want to write
about this. I want to share this with other people
(30:18):
because maybe enough the only ones have every dat I
con heard. So it was really through my journals, and
eventually I reached out to somebody had edited lots of
best selling books, very well known author, and she took
my brain dump, which was just some day that she
(30:40):
even got my message from that and created the difference
from that and I was just so thrill because I
for the first time realized that, yeah, you know, was
my writing. But I really felt like this was idea
and I had either son myself or get it out there.
(31:01):
Rising again A photo up and so that's kind of
how it started. But one of the we've all heard
that quo, you know, where where there's a will, there's
a way. Just recently, I was in a little store
and I saw a sign and said, where there's a will,
there's a way, w A. And I realized it just
(31:24):
really hit that, you know, I had a strong will
once I finally had this desire to write this book,
I had a strong will see it through, even though
it starts here. But there is different kinds of ways
that I hit in this process. I had a way
of excitement, you know, that honeymoon period, I'm going to
(31:44):
write a book, you know, and then I had to
read of herror. You know, it came up from here
and valves, and I just really learned to ride the waves,
not to get so self absorbed in either excitement or
that this here, but just allowed myself this process. A
(32:04):
lot of this was discomfort and really discomforted something to
it a new feeling. We have an often to interpret
that as we're going in the wrong direction, whereas in
fact we're meant to be moving forward. We're just meant
to go through it. And so I found that there's
been different ways you know, of burns from writing. And
(32:29):
one of the things I also realized that yes, I'm
writing for the reader, but I'm also writing it in
that way. It's not selfish because writing this book really
did help go through some suing process that I don't
feel like if I had allowed myself to write it
for me too, I don't think I could have, you know,
(32:51):
shared some of the things or in its move in
and transparent.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
As I like, Wow, I think we're just gonna stop.
I'm just going to go read the book right. Oh no,
I'm kidding. But there were there were a few things
that really stood out to me and.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
What you just sard, And the first one was that
you didn't do it when everybody else was doing it,
you know, back it was back to that obligation thing,
you know, if it was that sense of obligation because
everybody else is writing a book even though you were
meant to write a book, even though you had all
of the resources the inner resources that.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Would go into the book.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
It wasn't the right time when you were under that pressure,
that sense of pressure. You had to get to it
in your time, which was the perfect time and when
you desired it. And I just that timing is beautiful
to me. And then the other thing is that it
didn't you didn't go Okay, wow, I'm just going to
write a book.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Let me go find something to write about.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
The material you got largely through journaling it, writing down
those thoughts and the things you were working through. So
the material was already there writing your life that other
people needed to hear. And then the last thing that
really struck me, and what you just shared was about
the waves. It didn't matter if it was a wave
of excitement or a wave of fear. The thing that
(34:10):
was the most important was not reacting to the waves,
but continuing to stay true to the course and what
you knew was your purpose and what you were intending
to do, and that kept you going through all of
the different waves that came up to the point.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Where you were able to bring the book to fruition.
I just think that's beautiful. I love that, and I
thank you very much for sharing it.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
I think what we're gonna do right now is we're
going to take a short break and then we're gonna
come right back, and then we're gonna talk about some
takeaways and some lessons that other people can apply to
their own journeys that you've learned from your journey, and.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
That's going to be very valuable.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
So this is going to be part two actively so
naytuned if you're watching this lab on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
We're going to jump right off and then we'll be
right back on in just a minute. Thanks so much.
Jeff will be back.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Shortly to wrap up today's message. This is Gabriela still
on the scene today with Top Network Radio. If you're
just tuning in, you're listening to Empowered Living with Jeff Bird.
If you've missed any part of today's message, you can
hear it again online as well as the entire archive
of Empowered Living at www dot Topnetwork Radio dot com
(35:30):
or search keyword hashtag empowered Living. We would like to
acknowledge our music partners, Sound Ideas for Corporate to the
Max and Kevin McLeod for Airport Lounge. Any scriptures read
during this broadcast are from the New American Standard version
of the Holy Bible. If you would like to learn
(35:52):
more about Jeffrey Bird Coaching, visit www dot Jeffbirdcoaching dot com.
That is j E F F B y r D
Coaching dot com. Do our Facebook search for at coaching Rocks,
or drop Jeff the line at Jeff at jeff Birdcaching
(36:13):
dot com again j E F F B y r
D Coaching dot com. Let Jeff's coaching rocks be the
building blocks of your empowered success. Now let's go back
to Jeff for the rest of today's.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Message and welcome back.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
What we're gonna do now, we're just finishing up our
first session with Barbara Valentine Gustafson and her new book
called Permission to Be Bold. And what I want to
do though, before we wrap up this first part is
I want to give you her contact information so that
you'll be able to reach out to her. Her contact
(36:55):
information is her website is discover next step dot com.
Discover next step dot com. And Barbara, I have forgotten
what the name of your Facebook group is. Could you
please remind everyone where they can find the Facebook group
that's based on the book.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Yeah, absolutely so. If you're logged on Facebook dot com
and that group will come up and call NASR Intervals,
but interval dot com. When you're Facebook, it'll go right
into that.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Excellent. Thank you so much, Barbara, and we're going to
stay tuned everybody.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
We're going to be right back with our two and
this is going to be on the takeaways, the personal
takeaways and application for you and me and everyone else
who is on this same journey that Barbara's ahead of
us on.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
So we'll be right back. Thanks so much for tuning in.
This is jeff Bird, Jeffrey Bird Coaching, and this is
Empowered Living
Speaker 4 (38:05):
To you
Hello, this is Gabriella on the scene today with Top
Network Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
We have a real treat for you.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Just around the corner, and that is Empowered Living with
Jeff Bird. Jeff is the owner of Jeffrey for Coaching
and he will be coming to you weekly to teach
you more about empowered living. Now, let's join Jeff already
in the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Hello and welcome. Let's Jeff Bird of Jeffrey Bird Coaching
and this is Empowered Living. Now.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Today we have a very special treat for you. My
longest standing friend, a friend who, believe it or not,
I met when I was four years old in kindergarten,
is going to be on the show with us today.
Her name is Barbara Valentine, Gustave's son, and Barbara, thank
(01:27):
you so much for being here.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
Yes, oh my goodness. Can you believe that it's been yeah,
since kindergarten. I remember the playground class and I yeah,
it's pretty crazy, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
It is absolutely crazy? And who would have known?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
You know?
Speaker 3 (01:44):
There, it just goes to show there there just are
no coincidences. You know, everything is purposeful, and it may
take several decades to realize what the purpose was. But
we never dreamed we would have both had our own
coaching businesses. And you actually introduced me four years ago
to the John Maxwell team and helped me get started.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
And here we are.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Today on this podcast that I now have, and we
are now introducing the book that you just published.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I just got my copy in the mail this week, called.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Permission to Be Bold, So congratulations and I can't wait
to dig in here and read this.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Thanks. I appreciate it, and glad you you know your
book arrived. I fed earlier. My books have not even
arrived yet, so the author books take quite a bit longer.
So I'm thrilled you've got your money.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
It's amazing how that works.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
You know.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Amazon definitely has their act together.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah, and you'll be able to see that link for
those of you who are watching this live on Facebook,
you'll be able to see the link to the book
as we go through the show here. But I'm here
it is. I've got my copy in the studio, and
it's called Permission to Be Bold, A guide to being yourself,
living fully and leaving your.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Mark on the world.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
What three fabulous topics, And Barbara, what I really want
to do is give I want to hear your story.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
I want to hear more about this.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
I know some of your story, but I'm looking very
very forward to hearing more and introducing your journey here
that led to the book, that led to the coaching
practice to our listeners and our viewers here today. So
I want to ask you. First question I have is
why bold? What what does that mean to you? And
(03:37):
what has been your journey that led to this book.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Yeah, it's been quite a journey. And for those who
like the bottom line up front, the reason why I
wrote this book that I want to help people to
find what bold living ada, you know, oldest, happiness, success,
Those are general terms that we tountil we get really
(04:03):
specific from what that means for us, not with the
next person. We generally go into this default state, you know,
to live while we are happy or you know, joyful
or successful. But what is school living for you? And
what is it say we're in because we go to
(04:25):
the bottom, right, And so that's kind of the bottom
line up right. But when I woke back up my childhood,
I was anything but bold. Fact that I was, I
hid behind my mom and I just I had so
many years that began at an early age, I had
(04:45):
a lot of TIBs, the drama that was bolluticide, I
would say, by the early elementary years and at home,
and I became this law flower mainly as a form
of self protection. I was really pleasing my teachers, my parents,
my friends, and I didn't know who I was and
(05:09):
I didn't know how to do myself because so the
easiest thing for me to do was not stand out,
you know, just behind them. And it really solidified this
view I had of how the world existed by my
also my myself, my god, life in general. And so
(05:30):
I lived through those filters for several decades until about
seven years ago. So the interesting thing, though is even
though I had the you know, life of hiding, I
felt one whispering to me so many years to live boldly.
And it's ironic that it was a whisper, and that
like a boom, you know, hit on the head by
(05:52):
a two by four, it was a gentle whisper. So
faris boldly. And it always confused me because if such
an opposite of what I had been living, I didn't
know how to do it. I didn't know how people
and my view of bold was you know, very different
(06:13):
than I do it now. And and so for many
you know, several I would say about the third years
instead of stepping into that I ran I did. And
we hear of how fear affects us, you know the
fight flight or you know freeze I thing I tended
to freeze or just completely inplode and the straw. And
(06:38):
it's a lot of times people didn't have any idea
what was going outside me. I was very good and
putting a smile on my face, acting like everything was okay.
It was a very nice person these people, and so
no one really had a clue. And honestly I didn't
understand what was going on inside. Had all getting what
(07:00):
were so like coving uh And I think we get
really good at coding any time we're trying to still
mask or hide the fear or putting down our pain.
In my form of tiding busy, I would even hide
behind gold as a mother, as a wife, as a
(07:24):
worker in the corporate world, I would hide behind my
work if I would have to be with my pain
or just the discomfort of out. And so I have
these patterns that I would live in unintensively, but it
was easier for anything else does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
That does that? Does I like that?
Speaker 3 (07:46):
And you know so often, you know, I was thinking
to myself prior to our show today, you know when
I think about bold what what does that?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
What image does that conjure in my mind? Then?
Speaker 3 (07:58):
And I think of very scary things, or at least
they're scary to me, like jumping off a cliff in
a windsuit, you know, or repelling or like the opening
scene in Mission Impossible to you know, where he's like
climbing bare handed up a you know, rock facens and
it makes my hands sweat just talking about it. But
what you're talking about is something not like that, not
(08:21):
doing something that's totally not you. But it was almost
It sounds like to me the boldness was actually having
the courage to really beat you, if that was exercising
a true strength or gift that you had that was
just being underutilized or not utilized because of a fear
(08:43):
or a fear of just opening up and saying, hey,
this is really where I'm I am. It's not what
you see, it's not what I want to be, but
this is kind of where I am. So for you,
how how would you really narrow down and define what
that if you were to put a definition on personal boldness,
what would that be.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Well, I'm a pleasure brought that up because it was
really a process of discovery and exploring whether it's cold
and what is it for me? And uh, interestingly enough,
if you go to different dictionary resources, some of the
first words that we are exactly what to subscribe up
(09:24):
on doing the grandiose, fast and furious, you know, daring things,
you know, these big achievements. Thinks that really externally stands
out it and I realized that's really what the world's
too of fold is and that's what I believe that
it was to it and it can be but on
(09:47):
some of those words to stroll down it's more subtle.
But you'll also seek some other words that don't quite
stand out as much. It's thinks like having courage, I
think sant that also having a mad station setting yourself
And so I realized a lot of full from inside.
(10:08):
It's internal. It's about being different, it's about developing thought happen.
It's about creating our lives, you know, with our imagination.
And for me that was a paradigm because I realized
Bible was more intertransformation eventually it'll get the matter external results.
(10:31):
But I had been so focused on the outward steps.
I had been stepping a little bit too bigly and thinking,
and what I realized was experience resistance. I wasn't quite
ready for this big step yet. And so it was
reported play about station in a transformation and and so
(10:52):
some of the things that I found that we're both
for me and these are things that don't make a
choice to speak, setting clear boundaries, creating healthy boundaries with
ourselves the people around them, things like learning to say no.
Typically we say yes because still obligated versus really want
(11:15):
to do that thing. And I was caught up in
that and the energy get that thinking I had to
say yes because I had to always be available to
people and help people. But I realized that's a strength
in a position where I start to have unhelped patterns
and I build up resentment and so uh that for
(11:39):
our pulmarkin Ellie, that nothing good growth on the soil
of application. And that just really stuck us forward with
because I realized by my own schoce, I had done
that build up because I would say yes to obligation.
So learning to say know and become more sertive with
the very comfortable but a very gold internal step for
(12:03):
me beat myself. That was huge because honestly, I didn't
know who I was, so allowing myself to exploring it,
to know myself, focus on who I'm coming. That was
a cute breakthrough for me, discovering what my strengths were,
my purpose, so all of these and then I realized
(12:27):
where what eyebold is. And there's times where I make
some bold external steps, but if I only focused on
that outward, I find a spearing It doesn't have that purpose.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Hey man, it just doesn't have the impact.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
And I love that quote and I want to just
state it again in case somebody might have been writing
it down from Paul Martinelli? Is it nothing good grows
from the soil of obligation?
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Got it?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (12:59):
How free to only pick up and run with those
things that you feel resonating within you and not being
imposed from the outside.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Wow. I love that.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
But you know, I want to ask you about something
that you and I have chatted about this a little
bit in the past, and what I want to ask
you about relates to what you were mentioning. You mentioned
it a couple of times here on the inner world,
and it reminds me, and I just read it this morning.
It just popped up randomly. I didn't intend to read it,
but it was. It was in the Gospel of Luke,
(13:32):
and it's a story of the talents and people using
their talents and using the gifts they've been given.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
And there's a couple of them who do really well.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
They invest themselves, they take what they've been given and
they make more. And then there's one guy that doesn't.
But the reason that he doesn't is because of what
he's believing or not on the inside. And I wonder,
I note that this parable.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Has had some significant meaning to you personally.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Could you share just a little bit about what that
parable means to you and about, uh, the inner beliefs
that were that were hindering you before you actually kind
of broke free and started really using your gifts, which
we're all so glad you are.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Oh yeah, thank you. I this particular story of the
Bible has such great meaning because there's you know, like
you said, there's the one that invested in their talents.
Of course we're talking about money in the Bible, but
I literally think of it as my talent because I
just struck a forward with me. So I was the
(14:38):
guy had my talent very for here and what I
find interesting intentionally very talent it does a whole you know,
barry the money whenever. And so I think there's sometimes
not with our talent. You know and you are, but
there's also this where maybe we don't know what our
(15:03):
talents are, or maybe we don't know how to go
about uncovering them. And so at first that's where I
was coming from. I truly did not know what my
strength gifts work, and that has been a journey all
on its own. I have a couple of diagnosed learning
(15:23):
challenges and so those actually kept me from what my
talents were. So about seven years ago I went to
their help them through those art challenges and the process
it uncovered from my greatest talents. And so for those
who are listening to feel like they don't believe they
(15:44):
have a strength that they could offer the world, it's
inside you, even if you don't see it yet. But
it's also our responsibility to cover that and it they
require them and clean off. But it's completely possible to
(16:04):
you know, discover what your talents are. And I believe
that our people can help us, you know, find what
those are. So that's kind of a journey I was
going on. But I also in my talents intentionally my
discovered what they were. I was really I found I
think growing up in the household that I said, it
(16:25):
was a very loving environment that like any family, we
all have our stuff. That uh, there was an over
emphasis on being corumbled you not signing their life, no
brag and stuff, and so I overdew that and so
I was afraid to share my gifts the world. I
thought that that I was born, you know that I
(16:47):
thought I was all bad. And so I had to
real both belief the stuff going on on what it
meant to shine your life. And so I had to
really go that process. I'm really thankful for that growth,
but going through it it doesn't feel so good. But
I had to really come to terms with and my
points to be with the gifts that I right now,
(17:12):
where am I going to get some scary and so
I had a choice and I decided uncover them. And
it was a scary process at times because it was
something completely it looked that I had been doing and
I feel like I wake up. All was when my
mom passed away into about me, and it's really because
(17:33):
take a look at my life and I decided I
really wanted to make account from here on and I
couldn't make it count doing the same things I had
been doing for years. That I really had to take
a look at what is bold to me. And now
that I'm discovering what that is, I myself or am
(17:57):
I going to take accent on it? I I can't
really deliberately start the books the house where I could
grow at. So I started looking for my purpose and
I started growing. I been into complaine and I found
ironically my biggest year was in public and I think
(18:18):
only how had to take you hard, and it just
seems for me, I didn't have a bullbone in my body,
but I just have feeling gone with her, you know,
before you're on the right track, I think this journey.
And so it really was through that week up Fallen
turning point that I began I feel really starting and
(18:44):
deliberately growing.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah, wow, that's that's great.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
What a journey, you know, and I can I can
relate personally too, you know when you say that it
was other people were part of that mechanism that helped
you helps you understand that you even had gifts they
You know, often we need other people to help us
see it in us what we do not naturally see
in ourselves. But one of the things that I know,
(19:10):
I know you're gonna resonate with, and I see this
all the time myself, is people who have gifts and
abilities and insights and experiences that not only do they
need to really understand the value of them, but the
world around them needs that.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It needs that so much.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
And I think I know just since you started this journey,
your journey launched my journey.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
And that's just one little illustration you know of the difference.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
You know that's made when we start that, but as
you work with and you work with a lot of
other people, you're around a lot of others, when what
do you think those voices sound like in their pens
and in their hearts when they hear that, Hey, you've
got something that people need.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You got a tremendous if you can make a huge difference.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
What are what are some of those hindrance this and
and what does it sound like internally, maybe in the
conscious mind or maybe in the other than conscious mind,
But what are some of those some of those laws
about their identity and ability that maybe we could expose
some of them, bring them to the surface that people
might resonate with.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
What are some of the ones you come across most.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Commonly, Yeah, And I like the way that you could
that you know in the lies that I believe it
because I think when it comes down to there are
things that we've been holding us truth that at the
base of it there is a lie. There may be
a kernel of truth in that that we build the
story around it. And so something There's several things that
(20:43):
come up commonly when I'm talking. Uh. One of the
things is often people think they have to have a
certain personality or they have to have a high I
for certain charisma to people you know, living and I
have found that that's not true. We have that in it,
(21:05):
but it's not true only inside of one and it
looks different for everyone. And the thing is that when
it's inside, it gets to activated. And for me, I
feel like I tapped it because I feel strongly that
my boldness from my source from God gave that to me.
But because he will I had tapped into that, I
(21:28):
had not to stand still and wait for it to
come to me. I had to take accent even on
the admitting steps, which I feel are sometimes the most
important on baseball steps. So I don't believe that like
as a as a strong introvert, this was probably one
of my drawbacks. I felt like I had to have
(21:52):
all the energy and for Arsm, he's a motivational speacret,
that just wasn't. I had to really get know myself
and love myself exactly how I am and find out
where dedium off balance. I could be sumizing strengths overboard
and it's going up as a weakness, or I could
(22:14):
be underutilizing them as well. So you know, that's definitely
the stress that I hear. And they feel like they
just don't have a personality. Oh, another big one and
probably why I use the word permission in this book.
It's some tips you don't give themselves to do it.
(22:37):
And it's tied because they're clear about what they want
and it's been clear about the strategy that there's something
that's holding them back where if they take through a
three steps, it's like a rubber band, they stoop back.
You know that think so And what I've found is
we talk about that word, it's up a lot because
(23:01):
the big brest word so much so that I think
it's the meaning of it concluded, but it's so powerful.
H It's very deliberate, but it can also specific thanks
and for giving myself permission was my very first step
in terms the living out my purpose. And so what
(23:22):
I've found is a lot of people there's reasons why
people don't give them self permission. It could be, you know,
they don't feel worthy. They could still say. I've to
people who have struggled with the survivors not just that disasters,
but growing up in certain family dynamics where they feel
(23:43):
like they don't they aren't worthy because signs are like
or they're feel guilty that someone will feel badly that
they're doing so well. So there's different reasons why people
don't give them self permission. Another one is they might
feel like wool think they're selfish because they're giving to themselves,
(24:03):
or they're loving themselves for different reasons. But the thing is,
if we don't comment ourselves so forward, we don't allow ourselves,
we're always going to have that resistance. And I believe
it's way way way back to our early output. We
could go into the deep DISGUSSI. I hear it more
in my books. But there's so many things about permission
(24:25):
go way beyond just I guess or hope for permission stake.
But it's really tide to validate that we feel well.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
I cannot wait to read some more about that.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Yeah, just as you were talking about that, permission, lots
of lots of questions perform me. But the one that
came to my mind, and I'm not even sure why,
is what did permission feel like?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
What did permission feel like for me? Right?
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Were there any feelings that you could associate with when
you said, Okay, I am going to give myself permission
just to start to start discover bring my strength or
just start putting them into action.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
What were there any feelings that were associated with that?
Speaker 4 (25:07):
That's that's the thing that you have. That and yet feeling,
I mean just top up in our minds excitement and fear.
And it's not the kind of fear like I'm going
to beat fire bear or something like this, almost a
different kind of fear of like a stepping into the
fastness of the unknown. But I know that it's an
(25:29):
intentionally plan for me. In fact, I think and I apologize.
I don't know exactly where there's this that I was
told that there's sure of the worst fear, you know,
there's the fear with the doubt and worry that there's
also this fear of reverence and stepping into known and
(25:50):
just the awe of that. So when I admit myself
giving myself permission, it's the awe that's over while you're feeling,
and that there's this excitement of bloody go.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Well.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
And I love that response, you know, and I love
what you said that you're stepping into something that's been
intentionally prepared for you.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
This is something you've.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Been meant to do and that you have been equipped
on the inside to do, but you've got to step
into it.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
But it's it's you're not going.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Alone, you're not going on You're going with other people.
You're going with the team, You're going with God's presence.
And it makes me think of a number of times
that I've pulled up to go do a presentation or
a workshop and sometimes with people who you know, a
lot more degrees on their wall and you know, uh,
different things that might be intimidating, and I'll think to
myself and think, well, I can't, but you can, you know,
(26:49):
speaking to God, and you're with me. So let's go,
you know, because I know that that's glad like our
mentor Mark Cole says, you know, sometimes we do not
feel qualified to be the table, but yet it's exactly
where we're meant to be, and then stepping into it,
great things happen.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah, but I want to back up for a minute.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I want to I want to focus us specifically on
your experience of writing the book, and I am just
dying to know. What are some of the biggest lessons
that you learned in the process of bringing the book
from the idea phase to the fact that hey, I've
got one right now that I'm holding up in my hand.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
A lot of us have a lot of great ideas,
and they're born and they die great ideas and they
never actually happen.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Everything that we have around us, as we've heard, is
the result.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Of an unrejected idea.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
You had the idea for the book, and you did things.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
What have What are some of the main things that
you've learned in the process of writing this book.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
It was probably the writing part was about us year process.
It really began to hear. Before that, I was sort
of a group and a lot of people writing books.
I got caught up in a lot of the energy
where I had to write a book because everybody else
is writing, and what I found was a lot of resistance,
(28:17):
and I got to the point where I didn't want
to write a book. I'm only doing it because other
people were telling me I didn't do it, and I
had to do it. And I made a decision to
get out of that energy for a while, just because
I was not at a place where I felt like
I enjoyed it, and it was such a great struggle.
(28:38):
I needed to get to a place where I felt like,
this is what I'm being told to do and I
just doesn't. So I had actually closed the door and
write a book that's not for me. I don't want to,
I wanted to, just which I'm so glad I followed
that because I let go of all that energy that
I had, so I really focused on the journey that
(28:59):
I felt stop pleading at the time and going some growth.
What I do is I started writing in my journal
and doing some dager feeling the com that I had
been such freedom and journaling and and the thing that
ironic thing is I not a habit writer. Fact by
(29:25):
I was one of those people that that's my essaye question, playing.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
On the test. My teatures love me.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
So coming from a place I'm not really a good writer.
But the same time, I feel like when we are open,
oh boy, God wants to tell us through writing, and
we have that illness and open you know it's you
writing through with I really got to the place where
I was regularly journey journaling with the intention of allowing
(29:56):
God to speak. You know, wouldn't want to know about me,
you know, what does he want for my life? And
so through that I began to get different connections with
my writing and then I fill not one day it
was like the little flank capot and I got excited
and I'm like, oh my gosh, I want to write
about this. I want to share this with other people
(30:18):
because maybe enough the only ones have every dat I
con heard. So it was really through my journals, and
eventually I reached out to somebody had edited lots of
best selling books, very well known author, and she took
my brain dump, which was just some day that she
(30:40):
even got my message from that and created the difference
from that and I was just so thrill because I
for the first time realized that, yeah, you know, was
my writing. But I really felt like this was idea
and I had either son myself or get it out there.
(31:01):
Rising again A photo up and so that's kind of
how it started. But one of the we've all heard
that quo, you know, where where there's a will, there's
a way. Just recently, I was in a little store
and I saw a sign and said, where there's a will,
there's a way, w A. And I realized it just
(31:24):
really hit that, you know, I had a strong will
once I finally had this desire to write this book,
I had a strong will see it through, even though
it starts here. But there is different kinds of ways
that I hit in this process. I had a way
of excitement, you know, that honeymoon period, I'm going to
(31:44):
write a book, you know, and then I had to
read of herror. You know, it came up from here
and valves, and I just really learned to ride the waves,
not to get so self absorbed in either excitement or
that this here, but just allowed myself this process. A
(32:04):
lot of this was discomfort and really discomforted something to
it a new feeling. We have an often to interpret
that as we're going in the wrong direction, whereas in
fact we're meant to be moving forward. We're just meant
to go through it. And so I found that there's
been different ways you know, of burns from writing. And
(32:29):
one of the things I also realized that yes, I'm
writing for the reader, but I'm also writing it in
that way. It's not selfish because writing this book really
did help go through some suing process that I don't
feel like if I had allowed myself to write it
for me too, I don't think I could have, you know,
(32:51):
shared some of the things or in its move in
and transparent.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
As I like, Wow, I think we're just gonna stop.
I'm just going to go read the book right. Oh no,
I'm kidding. But there were there were a few things
that really stood out to me and.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
What you just sard, And the first one was that
you didn't do it when everybody else was doing it,
you know, back it was back to that obligation thing,
you know, if it was that sense of obligation because
everybody else is writing a book even though you were
meant to write a book, even though you had all
of the resources the inner resources that.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Would go into the book.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
It wasn't the right time when you were under that pressure,
that sense of pressure. You had to get to it
in your time, which was the perfect time and when
you desired it. And I just that timing is beautiful
to me. And then the other thing is that it
didn't you didn't go Okay, wow, I'm just going to
write a book.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Let me go find something to write about.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
The material you got largely through journaling it, writing down
those thoughts and the things you were working through. So
the material was already there writing your life that other
people needed to hear. And then the last thing that
really struck me, and what you just shared was about
the waves. It didn't matter if it was a wave
of excitement or a wave of fear. The thing that
(34:10):
was the most important was not reacting to the waves,
but continuing to stay true to the course and what
you knew was your purpose and what you were intending
to do, and that kept you going through all of
the different waves that came up to the point.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Where you were able to bring the book to fruition.
I just think that's beautiful. I love that, and I
thank you very much for sharing it.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
I think what we're gonna do right now is we're
going to take a short break and then we're gonna
come right back, and then we're gonna talk about some
takeaways and some lessons that other people can apply to
their own journeys that you've learned from your journey, and.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
That's going to be very valuable.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
So this is going to be part two actively so
naytuned if you're watching this lab on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
We're going to jump right off and then we'll be
right back on in just a minute. Thanks so much.
Jeff will be back.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Shortly to wrap up today's message. This is Gabriela still
on the scene today with Top Network Radio. If you're
just tuning in, you're listening to Empowered Living with Jeff Bird.
If you've missed any part of today's message, you can
hear it again online as well as the entire archive
of Empowered Living at www dot Topnetwork Radio dot com
(35:30):
or search keyword hashtag empowered Living. We would like to
acknowledge our music partners, Sound Ideas for Corporate to the
Max and Kevin McLeod for Airport Lounge. Any scriptures read
during this broadcast are from the New American Standard version
of the Holy Bible. If you would like to learn
(35:52):
more about Jeffrey Bird Coaching, visit www dot Jeffbirdcoaching dot com.
That is j E F F B y r D
Coaching dot com. Do our Facebook search for at coaching Rocks,
or drop Jeff the line at Jeff at jeff Birdcaching
(36:13):
dot com again j E F F B y r
D Coaching dot com. Let Jeff's coaching rocks be the
building blocks of your empowered success. Now let's go back
to Jeff for the rest of today's.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Message and welcome back.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
What we're gonna do now, we're just finishing up our
first session with Barbara Valentine Gustafson and her new book
called Permission to Be Bold. And what I want to
do though, before we wrap up this first part is
I want to give you her contact information so that
you'll be able to reach out to her. Her contact
(36:55):
information is her website is discover next step dot com.
Discover next step dot com. And Barbara, I have forgotten
what the name of your Facebook group is. Could you
please remind everyone where they can find the Facebook group
that's based on the book.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Yeah, absolutely so. If you're logged on Facebook dot com
and that group will come up and call NASR Intervals,
but interval dot com. When you're Facebook, it'll go right
into that.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Excellent. Thank you so much, Barbara, and we're going to
stay tuned everybody.
Speaker 3 (37:33):
We're going to be right back with our two and
this is going to be on the takeaways, the personal
takeaways and application for you and me and everyone else
who is on this same journey that Barbara's ahead of
us on.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
So we'll be right back. Thanks so much for tuning in.
This is jeff Bird, Jeffrey Bird Coaching, and this is
Empowered Living
Speaker 4 (38:05):
To you
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