Dis-Connection (Audio Only Episode)

James talks about dealing with his mom who isn;t connecting thoughts in her mind as good as she used to and how he is handling it. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's a trip. You guys. I'm gonna call this Extra
Connections a bonus episode audio only because I just have
some thoughts and I don't want to go to my
computer and say how to do it? So you audi,
so you audio listeners, can they bonus episode? I love it.
You guys are great to me. Thank you for all
the numbers and listens and downloads. So Connections connecting. I

(00:25):
do have a new episode comeing out next week though,
a new episode coming out, like I'm a great guy
who's coming on. Okay? So for me, I you know,
I've been talking about this on my show fifty plus
a little bit. The deterioration of my mother, Miss Benita.
She is not understanding things easily, she's getting confused whatever.

(00:45):
So it's just starting to happen so posentially for me,
as I used to be able to go to her
even as of six months ago. I just talked about
anything and she got it and get it, and everything
was good and we had no problems and she understood
it was great, we have a conversation, but now we can't.
How fast that happens. It's so it's very interesting for

(01:08):
me because it's frustrating because you say something and they're
not getting it. You're like, okay, but I had to
realize as her caregiver, that's in her help rating she
gets right, so it isn't frustrating, but you still gotta
tell her some stuff. So now I'm learning how to
reroute how I talk to her and how I say it.

(01:30):
So like sometimes I'll go out to get deep breath,
I'll say something I think, I'm trying my best to
talk slower but not super somich it's slower, succint. This
is what's going on the plumbing. This happens to the plumbing,
blah blah. Even with that, sometimes she doesn't get it
and she'll say something. I'm like, what are you talking about? So,
because I want her is still trying to use her brain,

(01:52):
so I think I'll say something and repeat it back
to her, like what are you talking about? Are you
talking about this? And then she'll go, no, man, this okay,
a song as we'll get it right. Many guys who
are going through this store exactly what it is. So
I say connect conne extra connections because I have to
do extra to connect to her now because there's disconnection.

(02:12):
That's that's what's so crazy, right, it's just so crazy.
I'm like, this is disconnection. I'm like, she's not getting
it as long as I laughed. Songs just really frustrating.
So I've had learned sometimes even though I said something,
we're talking, take brad to got take like a two
second okay, and I'll just go, here's the huha a

(02:34):
sixty seventy nine price the plumber works, get the plot
and the parts. That's where we're at, and you still go, okay,
got it, Okay, we got it. And then I said
and then I said, I'll call you back when the
next step happens, like break it up. So I just
tell people who are going through this yelling and screaming
at them, I'm gonna do anything. It's just it's, you know,

(02:55):
getting to a frustrated. They just have to kind of
take a step back, cause there are times I don't
understand stuff myself. And I'm not going crazy, but there's
times I don't understand something. I'll see a breath and go, okay,
can you can you re explain it to me a
little slower. She doesn't know how to say that. She's
just kind of like she's jumbling things whatever. So I got,
I liket you to go. It's a great exercise for

(03:16):
me to keep it to the point. Stay on the point,
give it to a point, don't use so many words.
Just tell her the basics. And usually she'll get it
by then. Then she'll get it for a minute and
I'll go back to her later and she's confused again.
Sometimes that's fine. I explained it to her. We handle it.

(03:37):
In the end. I'm just like, we're handling it. It's
all good. We're handling it. It's good. So I so
I'm learning how to find ways to connect to her,
being those extra connections now because it's a different type
of connection now. Uh. And it's it's hard because you're like,

(04:00):
but six months ago, I can tell you talk, I
can talk fast. We talk. We'll talk fast of New York.
We talk fast. They get everything out you got it
was easy. Now there's extra steps to stuff. And it's
times she forgets things, you know, and and sometimes I
forget stuff happens sometimes because I have a lot of

(04:20):
my mind and a lot of times I do a
thing called brain dumping, where I have a lot. On
one day, I'm like, okay, dump it. I don't got
time to even like just I don't want think about anymore,
like go to the next. Thing is I always have
so much to do. I have these long lists, and
I was like this to do and this to do,
and this to do and this, like I have to

(04:41):
just keep going. But there's some things, because she's still
of sound mind and body, I put in air quotes
that have to run by her and tell her what's
going on. There's some things that actually are going to
affect her because I'm working on stuff for her. I
gotta tell her what's going on. I'll say, I'm gonna

(05:04):
call your tax person later today. You're talking to you
talk to him already. No, Then I'm like, no, I'm
going to call him later today or get out to go.
I have not talked to him yet, and I'll go,
I said, I will, and I will let you know,
like I just slow it down a little, a pause
as she would say in New York, and then here

(05:25):
we go. It's it's a trip. But you know, sometimes
it's kind of cool because I can use it in
another it's it's you're gonna connection connecting. It has helped
me in some ways in terms of delegation or when
I have to explain something to somebody that Now I
have people who work for me and with me at

(05:45):
Jail J Media, and so it's really it's a trip.
I can go, Okay, here's the deal. You know what
I mean. It's like, so here's the deal, and it's
you know, and so that's kind of the whole thing. Yeah,

(06:07):
I guys want to talk to you guys about it
because I know some of you guys are going through
it too. I might show fifty plus a lot of
time I talk about stuff happening when you're fifty, which
is included dealing with an aging parent whose you know,
capacity is changing. But I thought this one thought, it's
all about connecting and things. Sometime your brain isn't always connect.

(06:28):
How do you do with somebody whose brain isn't connecting fully?
And it's gonna And that's why I was gonna side
note because it's such a roller coaster ride. There are
times when we connect she connects fully, So there's both.
There's times when she's like fully fully present, like there
and all can we got it? So you don't know
when that's gonna happen either. So it's it's you guys
as a trip. It's a trip and a half. I

(06:51):
feel for all you guys who are going through it,
so hopefully shares everybody that needs to hear this. She's
going through something like I'm going through. Uh. Theomorphos is
going through this that we talk about. We love miss Bonita,
we want her around for a long time, but we
understand things happen and this is a good thing for
me later. But this happens to me. My kids can
listen to this, and grandkids listen to this and go, Okay,

(07:13):
Papa Jan you went through this also with our grandmother.
Now we can have a nice and have some insight
on how to how to handle me. Who knows right.
Extra connections on Facebook, we have so many different great
topics and people come on the show and so it
comes out every Wednesday. Talk to you next time.