October 30, 2023 • 15 mins
Frustrated Fans and Comical Comments; Checo Perez vs the world; the tortilla sombrero that is Aston Martin continues to crumble. All this and more on the pilot of F1 Isn't Real: it's way darker this time...
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Episode Transcript
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(00:09):
As a great man once said,it's way darker this time. Hello and
welcome to episode one of the Fone Isn't Real Podcast with me your host
Ben Webb, formerly of F one. Every week, through more than eighty
(00:30):
episodes and two years, I broadcastedthe key F one news points of the
week. But as the sport ofFormula one seemingly enters a new dark age
of the Stappn dominance, the leastI can do is give some even darker
takes on the sport I love.But let's stop procrastinating and sink our comically
(00:53):
large teeth into Round nineteen of thetwenty twenty three Formula one World Joe Championship
and take a look at the winnersand the spinners of the twenty third annual
Mexican Grand Prix. One of themost catastrophic spinners of the weekend, both
(01:23):
literally and metaphorically, was the boyfrom Guadalajara, Sergio Checo Perez, who
laid a massive goose egg at hishome track in the view of swathes of
adoring fans. Despite gaining a grandtotal of zero points this week, CHECKO
does own my inaugural Daniel Coveat Awardfor the most sizable torpedo as he cut
(01:49):
right across my golden boy, CharlieLeclaire at the opening turn, sending his
car careering out of contention before therace even began, with a move that
seemed almost down to Dutch courage inducedby some of his hometown tequila, possibly
as opposed to anything close to certainty. To be fair to Sergio, this
(02:10):
was probably his only opportunity to takeout teammate for Stapen from this Grand Prix,
who used some of his own Dutchcourage to once again prevail in this
Grand Prix, once again prevail inthis Grand Prix, once again prevail in
this Grand Prix. But we'll talkmore about that later. After the race,
(02:32):
Checho seemed almost on the verge ofemotional breakdown, and it's tough not
to feel for the guy who eloquentlyexplained the reasoning behind the move in his
post race interview, asserting that hewould not have been able to live with
himself had he not gone for thepass with a podium in the last two
trips to Mexico, citing city seeminglymore excruciating than not vying for the win'safe
(03:00):
to say that This may have beena crime of passion as opposed to an
in any way calculated move, butfrankly, Checko can't really afford to keep
making mistakes. He's been without anysilverware since Monza and has now retired in
two of the last five races,so it's really getting to crunch time for
the Mexican. And if he hadshown some custody over the brake pedal,
(03:24):
then maybe he could have used agreat Slicks slipstream to crack into the podium
places. But as if his carwas a cartel member who considered ratting out
their compadres to Lacotta, Checko electedto retire his RB nineteen lest to sustain
further injuries at the hands of theMexico streets. This week, Christian Horner
(03:49):
assured the press that Sergio doesn't needp two in the Championship in order to
retain his Red Bull drive, buta man who I know will be gunning
hard for that role if the Mexicandoes miss out on second. Is our
first winner of the Grand Prix,the wonder from down Under, Daniel Ricardo.
(04:09):
What a comeback week for the OssieCensus returned to the sport with alpha
towering mid season following an abysmal stintat McLaren, Danny hasn't exactly been lighting
up the time sheets. He brokehis hand in the Dutch Grand Prix free
practice, putting him out of contentionfor five races, and this gave New
(04:31):
Zealander Liam Lawson a chance to reallyshine, with two points and two p
elevens in his quintet of starts,seemingly showing up Daniel's thirteenth and sixteenth in
his opening attempts for the less interestingScoodiria, and his return in Austin looked
(04:51):
even worse, with Daniel himself callingthis display miserable. But Ricardo was back
at his best in Ma Mexico.He secured his finest qualifying result since Belgium
twenty twenty one God Belgium twenty twentyone, with fourth place at a track
where he secured his final poll inthe sport to date back in twenty eighteen,
(05:16):
and impossibly the worst car on thegrid, Daniel held his own,
holding out at sixth place for thevast majority of the race, with George
Russell almost falling into his grasp inthe final lapse, but he was forced
to settle for sixth place. Heeven survived a precision commentator's curse from David
(05:42):
Croft, who observed that Daniel andYuki's combined efforts would lift Alpha off the
bottom of the Constructors Championship. Thisfine display of ignorance sent Snoda to the
shadow realm through the power of Piastreat turn one, but Daniel valiantly the
sirens cries, indeed, hoisting AlphaTari from tenth to eighth in the standings
(06:06):
despite the best efforts of the commentators. Do I think Daniel's form is sustainable
nowadays? Absolutely not. He'll probablycrash out in South Paolo, but I
just love to see him win firstpoints with Toro Rosso since Brazil twenty thirteen.
Good stuff. Another spinner. Thisweek Mexican fans they turned up in
(06:30):
their thousands to see Sergio Perez race. The whole country was behind him,
and as we all know, heblew it in the first corner. It
felt like every other lap. Therewas some snarky remark about people filing out
the grandstands so fast it was likeSergio Perez himself was waiting outside. Well,
I guess he was because he wasout. Sorry checker fans, but
(06:55):
he's not my number two driver.Oh to be back in twenty eighteen.
Ricardo for President twenty twenty four.I stand by it. The fans would
go on to take out their frustrationson my poor, poor baby charl Leclair,
who was mercilessly boozed during his thirdplace acceptance speech. Charlie Boy got
(07:16):
another pole position out of nowhere andwas yet again swallowed alive by maximum capacity
reached Verstappen, the Dutchman's tenth victoryoff the back of Leclaire's p one in
Quali. But Charles's massacre from Maxwould only be the second most devastating l
for Ferrari this weekend, as it'sback again to those pesky fans. A
(07:42):
video of two young Scuderia fans gettingfirst round kod by a rowdy checko file
in the middle of the stadium sectionwent viral on Sunday, with football hooliganism
seemingly having entered the mainstream in fone. What a farce for the Fie
who enforce measures to reduce paddic crowdsfor this very reason and have dramatically failed
(08:07):
in front of hundreds of fans atthe event, thousands of people online and
readers of major news publications such asSports Illustrated, which commented exxclusively on the
issue. Keep up the work,guys, and I'm afraid the FIA just
(08:28):
keep botching it this weekend with AlonsoHamilton and the Stappen all escaping penalties despite
holding up the entire rest of thepack during qualifying, which now sets a
precedent that unnecessary blocking in the pitlane is not sex sanctionable. They never
(08:48):
quite get it right, do they? Another winner this weekend max Forstappen's bodyguards.
The Dutchmen could clearly see the writingon the wall and so drafted in
some crack troops specifically for the MexicoCity Grand Prix. He feared for his
safety following his refusal to comply withteam orders which could have benefited CHECKO,
(09:11):
such as in Brazil last year,which granted was a bit of a bitch
moved from MAXI. But what Ifind astounding is that Verstappan actually thinks anyone
cares enough about him to you know, put a hit out on him.
Ludicrous, but his bodyguards still getthe win in my books, for possibly
(09:33):
the easiest paycheck in the F onepaddock since Fernando Alonso's Singapore two thousand and
eight win bonus. On the topicof thirty he and Aston Martin had an
absolute mayre owning my Nikita Mazapin Awardfor the deadest weekend. It's hard for
me to believe that Fernando went sixfor eight on podiums to start the season
(09:56):
and was at one point locked infor the third place in the driver's championship.
Aston Martin were miles up the roadfrom McLaren and it looked as if
they were going to be in adramatic three way tussle for second with Ferrari
and the Merks come season end.But like a tortilla sombrero filled with guacamole
(10:18):
neglected by the whole family at aKinsignela, the strong, brittle walls of
l plan began to turn to mushbefore collapsing entirely, leaving behind an unappetizing
green mess. An apt description ofAston Martin Aramco Cognizant F one Team's twenty
(10:39):
twenty three race car. The newquote unquote upgrades have been an absolute joke,
with a double Q one exit inQuali and a double DNF in the
Grand Prix, making this Fernando's tenthstraight retirement due to a mechanical or technical
issue. Even as Aston Martin werefalling off a cliff in performance mid season,
(11:01):
the reliability of their car, atleast for Alonso, had kept him
at least on the fringe of therunnings, but back to back mechanical issues
are a sign of even more distressingthings to come. What really got me
worried this weekend was how pedestrian FernandoAlonso looked. He made next to no
(11:22):
inroads against back markers and the GP, unable to take on Alpha Towi's Alpha
Romeos and even Logan Sargeant. Ithink all of this probably says more about
Aston than it does about Alonzo,but weekends like this remind us that he's
human and can't just jump into anycar and make it work. Another spinner
(11:46):
might crack team principle of Aston Martin, who attested that two bottom five times
in FP two were not representative ofthe form of Aston Martin, with a
comment that pr really needs to adviseagainst from now on, as the F
one gods were so disgusted by theconfidence of the Aston boss that they handed
(12:09):
his first double DNF of the Silverstonebased owner's career with Aston biggest cheat this
week. That's right, we're stillon Aston Martin and it's Lance Stroll who
was forced to start from the pitlane for the second week in a row
due to Aston martin mechanics hopeless manglingof the Frankenstein Monster esque AMR twenty three
(12:35):
under park firm A conditions. Butwhen he finally did get out on track,
Lance took the opportunity to further addto his rap sheet with some disgusting
movement in the breaking zone against Logansergeant of all people. I mean,
calm on. When you're forced tocheat against goddamn Logan's sergeant, you know
(12:56):
your car is trash. Funniest radiosageof the weekend Esteban Okhon, who pulled
off some of the weakest threats onthe radio since six' nine, claiming
you can tell the hass that I'mgoing to go for it, so they
better be ready, and then proceedingto be held off from tenth while in
drs range of Hulkeenberg for more thanfifteen laps. Do better. Esteban Ocon
(13:22):
did eventually prevail in that battle.But Holkenberg's efforts will be rewarded with the
Nico Holkeenberg Award, for no matterhow well they raced, they still came
away with nothing. The German draggedthe hass as far as it would go,
but he too was cursed by prematureteam principal celebrations, with gunther Steiner
(13:45):
expectantly chirping that has had lots moreto come. Well, Nico showed how
much more they had for about fiftyfive laps before the bottom fell out and
Nico ended up thirteenth when he reallyshould have taken the point, which would
have been his first since Australia.Finally, let's have a look at the
(14:07):
biggest winner of the weekend. There'sHamilton, who proved that the Mercedes is
still decent even when they aren't cheating. Our one who impressed in practice,
disappointed in Quali and expertly picked upthe pieces for his second P nine in
a row. But come on,who are we kidding? It's got to
be Noza, Norris Calarisian Leo Landohimself. What more is there to say
(14:33):
that hasn't already been said? Fromp. Seventeen he assassinated the competition,
gaining twelve positions, the most inhis F one career, and an improbable
fifth place, his first in Mexico. Get in the Orlando So we've gone
(14:54):
from the dark side to the light, the frustrate weed fans to the comical
comments, and now we're Mexico Cityis in the books. Sal Paula up
next. Join me next week formore of the F one's biggest sprinters and winners.
As a great man once said,it's way darker this time. Hello and
welcome to episode one of the Fone Isn't Real Podcast with me your host
Ben Webb, formerly of F one. Every week, through more than eighty
(00:30):
episodes and two years, I broadcastedthe key F one news points of the
week. But as the sport ofFormula one seemingly enters a new dark age
of the Stappn dominance, the leastI can do is give some even darker
takes on the sport I love.But let's stop procrastinating and sink our comically
(00:53):
large teeth into Round nineteen of thetwenty twenty three Formula one World Joe Championship
and take a look at the winnersand the spinners of the twenty third annual
Mexican Grand Prix. One of themost catastrophic spinners of the weekend, both
(01:23):
literally and metaphorically, was the boyfrom Guadalajara, Sergio Checo Perez, who
laid a massive goose egg at hishome track in the view of swathes of
adoring fans. Despite gaining a grandtotal of zero points this week, CHECKO
does own my inaugural Daniel Coveat Awardfor the most sizable torpedo as he cut
(01:49):
right across my golden boy, CharlieLeclaire at the opening turn, sending his
car careering out of contention before therace even began, with a move that
seemed almost down to Dutch courage inducedby some of his hometown tequila, possibly
as opposed to anything close to certainty. To be fair to Sergio, this
(02:10):
was probably his only opportunity to takeout teammate for Stapen from this Grand Prix,
who used some of his own Dutchcourage to once again prevail in this
Grand Prix, once again prevail inthis Grand Prix, once again prevail in
this Grand Prix. But we'll talkmore about that later. After the race,
(02:32):
Checho seemed almost on the verge ofemotional breakdown, and it's tough not
to feel for the guy who eloquentlyexplained the reasoning behind the move in his
post race interview, asserting that hewould not have been able to live with
himself had he not gone for thepass with a podium in the last two
trips to Mexico, citing city seeminglymore excruciating than not vying for the win'safe
(03:00):
to say that This may have beena crime of passion as opposed to an
in any way calculated move, butfrankly, Checko can't really afford to keep
making mistakes. He's been without anysilverware since Monza and has now retired in
two of the last five races,so it's really getting to crunch time for
the Mexican. And if he hadshown some custody over the brake pedal,
(03:24):
then maybe he could have used agreat Slicks slipstream to crack into the podium
places. But as if his carwas a cartel member who considered ratting out
their compadres to Lacotta, Checko electedto retire his RB nineteen lest to sustain
further injuries at the hands of theMexico streets. This week, Christian Horner
(03:49):
assured the press that Sergio doesn't needp two in the Championship in order to
retain his Red Bull drive, buta man who I know will be gunning
hard for that role if the Mexicandoes miss out on second. Is our
first winner of the Grand Prix,the wonder from down Under, Daniel Ricardo.
(04:09):
What a comeback week for the OssieCensus returned to the sport with alpha
towering mid season following an abysmal stintat McLaren, Danny hasn't exactly been lighting
up the time sheets. He brokehis hand in the Dutch Grand Prix free
practice, putting him out of contentionfor five races, and this gave New
(04:31):
Zealander Liam Lawson a chance to reallyshine, with two points and two p
elevens in his quintet of starts,seemingly showing up Daniel's thirteenth and sixteenth in
his opening attempts for the less interestingScoodiria, and his return in Austin looked
(04:51):
even worse, with Daniel himself callingthis display miserable. But Ricardo was back
at his best in Ma Mexico.He secured his finest qualifying result since Belgium
twenty twenty one God Belgium twenty twentyone, with fourth place at a track
where he secured his final poll inthe sport to date back in twenty eighteen,
(05:16):
and impossibly the worst car on thegrid, Daniel held his own,
holding out at sixth place for thevast majority of the race, with George
Russell almost falling into his grasp inthe final lapse, but he was forced
to settle for sixth place. Heeven survived a precision commentator's curse from David
(05:42):
Croft, who observed that Daniel andYuki's combined efforts would lift Alpha off the
bottom of the Constructors Championship. Thisfine display of ignorance sent Snoda to the
shadow realm through the power of Piastreat turn one, but Daniel valiantly the
sirens cries, indeed, hoisting AlphaTari from tenth to eighth in the standings
(06:06):
despite the best efforts of the commentators. Do I think Daniel's form is sustainable
nowadays? Absolutely not. He'll probablycrash out in South Paolo, but I
just love to see him win firstpoints with Toro Rosso since Brazil twenty thirteen.
Good stuff. Another spinner. Thisweek Mexican fans they turned up in
(06:30):
their thousands to see Sergio Perez race. The whole country was behind him,
and as we all know, heblew it in the first corner. It
felt like every other lap. Therewas some snarky remark about people filing out
the grandstands so fast it was likeSergio Perez himself was waiting outside. Well,
I guess he was because he wasout. Sorry checker fans, but
(06:55):
he's not my number two driver.Oh to be back in twenty eighteen.
Ricardo for President twenty twenty four.I stand by it. The fans would
go on to take out their frustrationson my poor, poor baby charl Leclair,
who was mercilessly boozed during his thirdplace acceptance speech. Charlie Boy got
(07:16):
another pole position out of nowhere andwas yet again swallowed alive by maximum capacity
reached Verstappen, the Dutchman's tenth victoryoff the back of Leclaire's p one in
Quali. But Charles's massacre from Maxwould only be the second most devastating l
for Ferrari this weekend, as it'sback again to those pesky fans. A
(07:42):
video of two young Scuderia fans gettingfirst round kod by a rowdy checko file
in the middle of the stadium sectionwent viral on Sunday, with football hooliganism
seemingly having entered the mainstream in fone. What a farce for the Fie
who enforce measures to reduce paddic crowdsfor this very reason and have dramatically failed
(08:07):
in front of hundreds of fans atthe event, thousands of people online and
readers of major news publications such asSports Illustrated, which commented exxclusively on the
issue. Keep up the work,guys, and I'm afraid the FIA just
(08:28):
keep botching it this weekend with AlonsoHamilton and the Stappen all escaping penalties despite
holding up the entire rest of thepack during qualifying, which now sets a
precedent that unnecessary blocking in the pitlane is not sex sanctionable. They never
(08:48):
quite get it right, do they? Another winner this weekend max Forstappen's bodyguards.
The Dutchmen could clearly see the writingon the wall and so drafted in
some crack troops specifically for the MexicoCity Grand Prix. He feared for his
safety following his refusal to comply withteam orders which could have benefited CHECKO,
(09:11):
such as in Brazil last year,which granted was a bit of a bitch
moved from MAXI. But what Ifind astounding is that Verstappan actually thinks anyone
cares enough about him to you know, put a hit out on him.
Ludicrous, but his bodyguards still getthe win in my books, for possibly
(09:33):
the easiest paycheck in the F onepaddock since Fernando Alonso's Singapore two thousand and
eight win bonus. On the topicof thirty he and Aston Martin had an
absolute mayre owning my Nikita Mazapin Awardfor the deadest weekend. It's hard for
me to believe that Fernando went sixfor eight on podiums to start the season
(09:56):
and was at one point locked infor the third place in the driver's championship.
Aston Martin were miles up the roadfrom McLaren and it looked as if
they were going to be in adramatic three way tussle for second with Ferrari
and the Merks come season end.But like a tortilla sombrero filled with guacamole
(10:18):
neglected by the whole family at aKinsignela, the strong, brittle walls of
l plan began to turn to mushbefore collapsing entirely, leaving behind an unappetizing
green mess. An apt description ofAston Martin Aramco Cognizant F one Team's twenty
(10:39):
twenty three race car. The newquote unquote upgrades have been an absolute joke,
with a double Q one exit inQuali and a double DNF in the
Grand Prix, making this Fernando's tenthstraight retirement due to a mechanical or technical
issue. Even as Aston Martin werefalling off a cliff in performance mid season,
(11:01):
the reliability of their car, atleast for Alonso, had kept him
at least on the fringe of therunnings, but back to back mechanical issues
are a sign of even more distressingthings to come. What really got me
worried this weekend was how pedestrian FernandoAlonso looked. He made next to no
(11:22):
inroads against back markers and the GP, unable to take on Alpha Towi's Alpha
Romeos and even Logan Sargeant. Ithink all of this probably says more about
Aston than it does about Alonzo,but weekends like this remind us that he's
human and can't just jump into anycar and make it work. Another spinner
(11:46):
might crack team principle of Aston Martin, who attested that two bottom five times
in FP two were not representative ofthe form of Aston Martin, with a
comment that pr really needs to adviseagainst from now on, as the F
one gods were so disgusted by theconfidence of the Aston boss that they handed
(12:09):
his first double DNF of the Silverstonebased owner's career with Aston biggest cheat this
week. That's right, we're stillon Aston Martin and it's Lance Stroll who
was forced to start from the pitlane for the second week in a row
due to Aston martin mechanics hopeless manglingof the Frankenstein Monster esque AMR twenty three
(12:35):
under park firm A conditions. Butwhen he finally did get out on track,
Lance took the opportunity to further addto his rap sheet with some disgusting
movement in the breaking zone against Logansergeant of all people. I mean,
calm on. When you're forced tocheat against goddamn Logan's sergeant, you know
(12:56):
your car is trash. Funniest radiosageof the weekend Esteban Okhon, who pulled
off some of the weakest threats onthe radio since six' nine, claiming
you can tell the hass that I'mgoing to go for it, so they
better be ready, and then proceedingto be held off from tenth while in
drs range of Hulkeenberg for more thanfifteen laps. Do better. Esteban Ocon
(13:22):
did eventually prevail in that battle.But Holkenberg's efforts will be rewarded with the
Nico Holkeenberg Award, for no matterhow well they raced, they still came
away with nothing. The German draggedthe hass as far as it would go,
but he too was cursed by prematureteam principal celebrations, with gunther Steiner
(13:45):
expectantly chirping that has had lots moreto come. Well, Nico showed how
much more they had for about fiftyfive laps before the bottom fell out and
Nico ended up thirteenth when he reallyshould have taken the point, which would
have been his first since Australia.Finally, let's have a look at the
(14:07):
biggest winner of the weekend. There'sHamilton, who proved that the Mercedes is
still decent even when they aren't cheating. Our one who impressed in practice,
disappointed in Quali and expertly picked upthe pieces for his second P nine in
a row. But come on,who are we kidding? It's got to
be Noza, Norris Calarisian Leo Landohimself. What more is there to say
(14:33):
that hasn't already been said? Fromp. Seventeen he assassinated the competition,
gaining twelve positions, the most inhis F one career, and an improbable
fifth place, his first in Mexico. Get in the Orlando So we've gone
(14:54):
from the dark side to the light, the frustrate weed fans to the comical
comments, and now we're Mexico Cityis in the books. Sal Paula up
next. Join me next week formore of the F one's biggest sprinters and winners.
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