I’m just talking !

Another day another episode ! Few things on my mind this episode definitely has a different vibe check it out don't forget to subscribe and give my podcast a rating !
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Episode Transcript

(00:02):
What's up? What's up you?Now? Tune into fuck It the Suburb
with John X. Another day,another episode. This one might be a
little different, a little different vibe. It's just me today on here,
same story. I got my drink. We're drinking strawberry and lemonade. I'm

(00:28):
ruling up my blunt right now andwe're gonna dive into some shit. Cool
relaxed demeanor today or should I saythis evening? I lied again. I
said I was supposed to be doingthese podcast episodes every Thursday or maybe Skip
wanted to come back, but Ithink the last one was September twenty third,

(00:50):
and now we're here on November third. I mean, I gotta make
fun of myself onto my my inconsistencyon this ship. But that's what this
episode kind of about, Well,why I ain't even doing it and shit,
Like I told you, if I'mnot in the right mental space and
shit, then you know, likeas I'm saying this right now, I'm

(01:11):
like, someone's like, hope,someone's not like this. Nigga sounds like
he's about to be on some sadshit. I don't feel like hearing this
once again. It's in the backlooking himself. Are you done, boy?
Hey, what's want mans your life? Fam? Yeah, definitely rolled

(01:36):
this back with you before. Imean, get still because I'm talking too
much. But yeah, So thisintro, like it always is a couple
of new things we'll go through talkabout. Make sure you guys subscribe.
It's your first time listen to it. Go subscribe at that follow button.
We're gonna dive into some shit.I'm not gonna stop it. We're just

(01:57):
gonna keep it rolling this time.One take. This is funny too.
While I'm smoking. The first topicI got is I wrote in my notes
up beaut smoking don't help me withanxiety. I got anxiety because I smoked.
All right, So little backdrop,that's not the sad part of the
podcast. It's a good part fory'all can listen to this part. I

(02:22):
was never a smoker. I wasa basketball player. I played in high
school, playing college, played overseas. If you listen to my podcast,
you know that before I got intoPorner, I played overseas. I'll played
pro basketball. Not at the highestlevel, but you know, a pretty
decent level. But I was makingsome cool money. But I never smoked
even in college. My roommate shutout. My roommate was this nigga was

(02:45):
a straight smoker, straight smoker,and I would never smoke and I played
basketball. I'd even not roll upweed. We'd be talking about size of
the weed and all the aphes andall that. I didn't know what any
of that shit was, So neverwas a smoker playing. I look at
hooping and getting into porn. Imean, you could tell what the porn
life, not to give it thestereotype shit, but when you're doing it

(03:05):
into porn life, you know,you do get into smoking and drinking.
And of course there's other things tooas well. But just having a job
as in doing porn, working foryour own hours, be able to sell
on a couch to wherever you want, you know, you can kind of,
you know, take vices and shitlike I got into drinking certain type
of beers and I'm drinking champagne everyday, and then you gotta be hu
uh some clicko or mo ed.It can be just the regular Luca bel

(03:30):
Air type shit, you know,twenty dollars with champagne and all that.
You know, so you're not you'reyou're you're different, you know, realness
blown up y'all while I'm talking aboutthis. So I've never had a parm
with anxiety or anything like that.Now, when I first started smoking,

(03:50):
it was just smoking with my cousinor something. Let me hit the bloomer,
y'all, hit it boom. Thenit went from slowly buying my own
weed and smoking more and more,and that was all cool. Smoking just
to eat something good. I'll smokea quick look on yo, find something
good to eat. And then nowit turned into or. Then it went
to I gotta smoke before I eat. I gotta smoke before I go to

(04:12):
sleep. Now it's smoke before Ieat, smoke after I eat, smoke
after doing something through the day.I fucking wake up. Now, even
though I'm working out a lot,I wake up, I go do my
run, my mind run, Icome home. I can't wait to smoke.
And it's just I never was asmoker, and now I feel like

(04:34):
if I got something going on inlife, or something to make me a
little nervous, or I got somethingto deal with, I want to smoke.
I gotta smoke first, to smoke. After Oh these mother my fucking
water bill shot up because the fuckingpump broke some of these little water pump
broke. The fucking landscape has suckedit up. My water bill shout up.
Had I talk to the people fora hour and now I want to

(04:55):
smoke, so that should be given. I feel like it gives me anxiety
because like now I need something tobe able to function and all that.
But I love we We just cooland all that. We keep smoking it
while I'm talking about it right now. Yeah, so this is your new

(05:30):
episode, first time ever hearing mewhen I'm on here, I have no
guidelines, I have no structure.It's just all me. Like I have
ship lined up in my nose.I'm gonna talk about it might not come
out because I'm thinking about all thisship. So that's part of my process.

(05:54):
I like. So if y'all firstjust listen to this, then that's
just how it is. All right, a lot of shit I'm talking about
on this podcast. It's more oflike a reflection. And this might make
y'all think too that y'all, wherewas listening? I think about from I've

(06:15):
been thinking a lot more about mewhen I was fifteen, when I was
twenty, when I was twenty five, and now the thirty I think Damn.
I think that's the first time Iever gave a clue close to my
age. I don't know why Ido that, like in industry, not
to give I'm an age too muchbecause I'm in the age of looks and

(06:35):
shit, there's't the wrong being older, but you know, the lower I
can play my age, I feellike, you know, it's kind of
it's kind of cool, but yeah, thirty three thirties, So from fifteen
twenty twenty five thirty, I've beenthrough a lot of different stages in my

(06:55):
life, and I truly want todo this episode. The same episode ain't
for nobody. If you're listening,it's not for you. And I mean
that in a positive way, likeI didn't want to do an episode because
I'm not in a good mood becauseI have all this shit on my mind.
So I use this podcast when I'musing this podcast right now as a

(07:19):
tool to vent to get things out, and somebody might rock with this and
buy what and if you understand it, let me know. But I just
been thinking about a lot of differentthings. I have friends that I've known
since fifteen. We sit in trafficgoing to school in high school and even
in college. My pind a carbreakdown, I'm driving school, vice versas

(07:43):
whatever, it didn't matter. Andwe had all these talks, and we
grew up with each other. Wewent to school, we go clubbing and
shit and do all that type ofshit after and now we're grown men in
thirties, and I see how ourlife is gone and the type of stuff
he want to do typ off,I want to do it? What type
of shit other friend wants to do? And none of our lives matchup at

(08:03):
all at all, nothing nothing.One of my friends just became a police
officer, and look with the fieldI'm in. My other friend, he's
a behavioral I have another right titlefor behavioral something for like a clinic for
less fortunate people, and you know, mental health issue, people all different

(08:28):
lives. And when you have shitlike that, you think people don't want
to hang out with you. Youdon't talk as much. But as soon
as you guys hang out, I'msorry, I gotta stay on his microphone
in front of it. As soonas you guys hang out, all that
shit goes away. But then onceyou leave, people start thinking about their
family. And then you got fuckingsocial media, and you see people on

(08:50):
social media. Like to be honestwith you, guys. I've just just
got a new house July first,and I probably have not left my house
since July first, only for onesocial event for my friend graduating opposed academy.

(09:13):
And then I even them be into a club, a bar,
a lounge, a hookah spot,a Bauldon alley, a basketball game,
a concert, none of that.I haven't been to nothing. And then
it's not because oh I need tosave money. I'm just not into that
type of shit right now. Andsometimes your friends can't understand shit like that.

(09:37):
They want to, Oh, theywork a nine to five. I
don't work nine to five. Myday consists to wake it up in the
morning, checking my accounts, checkingmy numbers, and messages on my porn
accounts of what video I might needto sell, how my numbers are.
That's the type of thing I do. I say at home all day.
I don't have nothing else to dounless I choose, you know, to
truly leave the house, you know, to wake up and oh I could

(10:01):
get I could get oil change today. Okay, that's once every months.
You know this This episode sounds depressing, but it's not. It's just me
talking all my thoughts out and likethe shit that I've been thinking about right
now, that kind of gets medown. But I'm truly blessed. I'm
making money off my deck, solet's not get it fucked up. That's

(10:22):
not a sob story, all right, y'all. But another thing I was
thinking about, I'm not stopping thisis one take one take Jake. I
was thinking about, like, wehave friends with benefits, right, does

(10:43):
that It doesn't really change on yourage. You know, you could be
forty year old. I have afifty year old, twenty year olds,
thirty, whatever, it doesn't matter. So I wrote a big blunt so
you're gonna have friends like I knewa check when I was staying in Vegas.

(11:09):
She was divorced, two kids andnothing. She didn't want nothing else
from me for you know, toto fuck. That's that's all it was
about. Come over one time.I better kids and ship. And I'm
one thing about me. I'm fuckingterrible with kids. The kid would ask

(11:30):
me questions and I would sit therelike the kid. And when it come
to young kids, when like theones that barely talk, I don't understand
the fuck what they're saying. Idon't. I don't get it. I
mean, yeah, I'm good withkids. I do want kids one day,
but I'm just not the kid person. Like give me your kid and

(11:52):
I'm gonna take them out for theday and do shiit Like you know,
I don't know how to do allthat. But yeah, she ud call
me usually come over from the casinoor something, small talk, five minutes
to go to the room, havesome fun, and then that's it.

(12:15):
You know, we text and allthat. She come to my house sometime,
go to her house, and thatwas it. And then she got
a boyfriend, you know, soit was kind of like, stop talking,
but she hit me up again andshe's still with a boyfriend, still
was with him. While she wascalling me. Everything was fine. But
what she's calling me for wasn't forwhat she has a boyfriend for. Her

(12:37):
boyfriend was there to be a stepdad. Her boyfriend was there to give her
the relationship every day and that typeof shit. I was a guy just
for sex. And some you guysbe like, oh, that's fucked up,
she's cheating on him and all that. You got the wrong podcast.
If you're thinking that way, yougot the wrong mother fucking podcast, because

(13:09):
yeah, I get it in thetrue definition that is cheating, and it's
terrible. I get it as badas it's wrong. You shouldn't do that
might be with that person, Butyou know, some people what I provide
and not trying to sound like thebest added of the motherfucking the dig Messiah
and all that, but didness.I ain't saying all that on the Digma

(13:31):
site. But you come to mefor experience and the feeling and shit,
and you know how I feel aboutmy views and how I look through the
lens of what we're about to do, and how I m not. I
don't. I don't want to usesomewhere. I hate the word judgment or
the lack or that's it, thelack of judgment I have for what we're

(13:52):
about to do. You understand thatwhat we're doing is purely just pure fun
and the sexual experience. There's nothingelse attached to that, you know,
So I'm sorry if I'm trying tojustify that, but that's just how it
is. Some people are married,and I've been with married women and they've

(14:16):
called me sometimes even the husband evolvedand out of all both cases and have
lovely husband, marriages, kids,family, businesses together and everything still works.
Sound there's nothing wrong with that,you know. Some people just want
that that extra little what should Isay, side push? Oh yeah,

(14:43):
all right, I gotta keep thisgoing because I'm trying to do this one
take. We're doing pretty good.Like I said before, there's no interviews
on this one, just me talkingkind of say, like an event episode
or something like that. Like yousaid that, I was drinking earlier too,
before where I started this podcast,so it makes extra fun. All

(15:09):
right. Yeah, So reading frommy notes anohing I wrote down, I
was talking about as much as there'sa lot of things to do to get
to know someone, I still wantto fuck you. I'm being honest,
like because some people like you guysknow all the time, I got tender

(15:31):
accounts, shout out tender and keepsaying it till I get my sponsor and
other accounts bumble hinge and all thattype of stuff. You know. I
use those for networking and other things. So I see a lot of people,
a lot of girls, or ifI go on a date or something
or apprecire in your life. Evenpeople listen to this, you say,

(15:54):
oh, I'm not just trying tofuck I'm not looking for a hookup.
I'm not looking just to you know, fuck around. I totally get that.
Well, my thing is when i'mwhen I want to get to know
you, I still want to fuckno matter what I mean, if I'm

(16:17):
just tad I'm talking to you,because that's a part of it. I
mean, some people can't prioritize sexlike that, but I do. And
it's a part of relationship. Imean some people look at it someone prioritizing
sex, so I the person lookat and like, oh, that's all
you think about, that's all youwant. But that can go hand in

(16:37):
hand with, you know, aregulationship. I looking for someone to be
my best friend. I'm looking forsomeone to always be there. Okay,
Well while I'm always there with you, I want to fuck you know.
You know what I mean. Sopeople saying that from the start, I
don't. I don't look at itas a bad thing. They want to
talk to you, they want toget to know you, they want to
fuck, you know. It's it'sall in one, you know what I

(17:03):
mean. I'm gonna try to keepthis episode. It's like twenty twenty five
minutes. Like I said, Idid this episode just out of nowhere.
I didn't didn't really have no guidelinesfor this, and I wanted to get

(17:23):
an interview, but it was toosoon. When I do my interviews,
I like to do like a littleextra research and maybe don't just like I
know a lot of people in shareI can call up and hit up for
an interview, but I like toknow more about them. You know,
most of the people I have calledand I interview don't hear or has actually
been people unknown or actually shot with, or a girl I just brought on

(17:45):
to hear that I want to interviewthat we hooked up, but they remained
anonymous. So it's hard for meto do shit like all Spider just out
of nowhere. Damn, that's mydog. He's always in here with me.
My podcast is now but oh yeah, so pretty much done with this

(18:07):
episode. I want to share alittle funny story. I forgot it was.
It was not even not even ahookup story, but a girl on
a day with it was a friend'scousin's friend. So I'm fucking telling the
stories were back there over he golike, you don't want me to tell

(18:27):
a story, Like, damn,you talk too much. So I went
on a date that's probably probably liketwenty four. And mostly I know I'm
tall, six five sixty six withshoes, I'm a pretty tall guy,

(18:48):
skinny and ship slim. And Iwent on a date with this chick and
I think I saw her in thecar one time. Then that's why I
told my friend to let his cousinknow, like, hey, put me
on, so I did. Ididn't know how tall she was, so
I was like, yeah, whatever, we can go. We go.
Let's meet at Applebee's. You know, I was twenty four, so Applebees

(19:08):
It was kind of cool back then, you know, it was a a
decent spot for her first little,you know, meet up date ice breaker.
And so I'm in the car waitingand she tell me she pulls up
Amory where you at, and Isee this chick out there and I'm like,
mm the her And I'm looking andshe was like, you know,

(19:32):
falling to her ear and I'm like, wait, shit, is that her?
And I was like turning around andshe turned around. I was like,
oh shit. So I get outthe car and this girl telling her
this was a grown woman. Shewas like four or ten. Like now,
be like saying light, let mesay she was four ten like that

(19:52):
was her actual height acci and everything, and I'm like j Jesus Christ,
like I'm people that know me.I do like short women, even though
I'm a tall guy, Like Ilove a short woman, but like four
ten and not like she was thickeven like okay, like you short,
but you're stacked, but you youthink then okay, that's fine, but

(20:19):
you know she was skinny, soI was like, man, so you
know, I want you sat there. And sometimes it's just weird too as
being a man as my height,my statue or whatever and talking to a
girl that small, like in public. To me, I feel like people
are looking at me and it's crazy, say, like me doing born and

(20:41):
having people, multiple people, recording, camera people and light production and all
that, and I feel weird justby like, you know, going on
a day with a little little shortass girl just being saw me like the
height that I really like for girlslike five three, five to two,

(21:03):
but I mean, but taller it'sstill fine, but like short is what
I really go after. But yeah, thank you all, thank you for
tuning in to fucking It's talking withJohan X. Like I said, this
episode was just a little episode forme to just talk. You know.
I'm happy and I'm blessed to beable to have a platform where I can
be able to put something out thereand get a little response from me people

(21:26):
who talk to The reason why Ieven did this episode two is because when
I was feeling down, I lookedat my numbers and I seen, like
I do have people actually like reallyfuck with this podcast, like some real
listeners. You know, I madea few dollars off doing these episodes.
What's it? Which is nice justfor me talking by myself, you know.

(21:49):
Oh I did, Actually I didhave a question I was supposed to
answer. Let me see where it'sat. Yeah, so I gotta question,

(22:10):
I like, how do I preparefor a scene like the physical?
Uh? Mental? What does ittake to do something like that? Like
to me? But it all dependslike where stage you are if you know
beginning, you know, it's likeyou even going to a job at the

(22:30):
first time and be nervous trying tofigure out shit, you know, stumbled
around a little bit. I mean, even with the same thing with this,
you know. But I mean it'ssex if you like the fuck and
you can get over the fact thatthere's people watching you doing this because as
much as you're doing sex, it'snot this is not natural sex, you
know, it's you're not emotionally evolved, or you're not met this person at

(22:56):
the bar, y'all talking and youwant to hit on them, and orsone
connected you to this person y'all inchain or your minim online y'all meeting up.
It's like I love pull you dickout. Okay, that's what you
know, and it's acting and actingwith it. So it's once you can
get over that apart mentally, thephysical part is now, can do you

(23:18):
understand them? With? Can youriff last? And these hours of shooting
different positions and stopping and going,if you can do that, I know
a lot of people that that have. I've been fucking I used the word
again, messiah sex messiahs in thefucking personal life, ran trains and and

(23:38):
the orgies and did all different typeof things. But when that camera gets
going, the lights come on,the lights is on your back, that's
a different story. You know,Like a lot of people are a bit
room important stars and that's what that'swhat the tatle my last episode was like
a lot of people can do that, but you know, cameras come on

(23:59):
you and you have to perform.Now, like performing for yourself is different.
This is the owner of the ballgame. But you get used to
it the more you do it.And like I said that, you know
it at the first time if it'sfor you or not. Pretty much like
I've been on scenes where I failedthey do on scenes that were good,

(24:22):
been on scenes where I feel Icould last forever. Some scenes I was
like, oh my god, wemight We gotta stop, We gotta like
pitch this together, need a break. So you know, it all depends,
but yeah, sending the questions,make sure you guys subscribe, go
to the podcast or go to myInstagram for the podcast. This is everywhere.

(24:44):
Subscribe if you dosten into on Spotifyright now. I heeart all that
send me in questions. Keep rockingwith the podcast, y'all. You know
what it is. It's fuck it. Let's talk about what Johann next.
I'm out.