April 27, 2024 • 23 mins
Ig @talkwithjahanx
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Yeah, yeah, back with anotherepisode. Fuck It, Let's talk about
with Jas. Spend a minute.We're gonna go hard today. What's up
(00:21):
us up now? Tune into fuckIt. Let's talk with jah X.
That's coffee I'm drinking. It's tentwenty two in the morning on a Saturday.
Ain't no vodka today, Ain't noweed. I come on here and
I do these podcasts, and Isuck on my accountability on this because you
(00:50):
can go back to listen to otherepisodes, and I'm like, all right,
y'all, I'm back in the zone. I'm gonna be on here every
day. I'm gonna make sure Ipost every week, and then I fade
away for a month. And that'swhy it's like this podcast is super real
to me, and it's just likeanything and what anybody does to do this
(01:11):
podcast. Mentally, I need tobe in the right zone. I gotta
haveshit. I want to talk aboutif I feel like I ain't doing good.
Put it this way, I'm alwaysdoing good in my life because I
have my business like everything, butthat's not everything, you know what I
mean? Like I could be makingmoney every day, but no, I
don't feel good today. So thatthat weighs into it. But for now
(01:33):
I'm back. There's so many differentthings I want to talk about, and
even how I'm doing this podcast now, I really just said, fuck it.
There's too many people that got podcastsouts that want to do shit.
I feel like people should have alicense or what. Why why do you
have a podcast? Why just totalk and say, oh god, you
should do this on the first daywhen you do this all that bullshit.
(01:56):
My podcast is just about, Hey, I was in an industry still is.
These are my stories in it,and that's it. I ain't up.
I ain't here to raise ice browson or stational court. You're like
women should pay for men date firstand get all these clicks and all that
shit. You just you want tolisten to this kind to me because you
want to hear some stories about theindustry that I've been in and what happens,
(02:19):
what still goes on, and justadvice on how someone in the industry
that does all this, someone thatcan fuck your mama in front of you,
or fuck your sister, or myhusband calls me to fuck their wife.
The reason I can do that isbecause I'm talking about this shit.
You know, I live this shit. So I mean, and this is
like a source of one of mymain incomes. I did this podcast just
(02:40):
because I like to get a voiceout. I'm not the one that likes
to be on social media talking aboutall my opinions and shit like that.
So one place you want to getit, you can get it right here.
And it's with saying that I'm losingthe back looking himself. I don't
know if you'all can hear that,but with saying that, my journey of
(03:01):
doing this podcast a little different.Let you guys know when I'm up on
it what I'm doing now. I'mtaking my fitness very serious now for the
past couple of months. I've beenthis industry for like eight years. When
I first started off, Yes,I did drugs, a party. I
was out every night. You know, when you do born it's like that
type of life. You know,You're you're out every night, meeting people,
(03:21):
You're traveling and shit. I know, y'all, but when I travel
I like to drink. So ohI'm on a plane for five hours.
Okay, Oh y'all got henessy onhere, give me a buzz ball,
give me too. Jack Daniels andthe coke or something like, oh,
we're gonna go meet somebody to go, shoot, let's have a drink first,
you know, break the ice.So this, this is entertainment industry
that I'm in it it makes youdo that type of shit, you know
(03:45):
what I mean, Like, Oh, I'm about to go meet somebody for
the first time, and shoot,why not have a drink. I'm not
coming here sober and all weird,you know what I mean. So it's
you. It's a thin line betweenthat and you have to, like when
your life, when your job isto party or your job is to show
party, you know, to tryto find that that in line. I'm
upstairs in my office last studio,the windows open. It's a beautiful ass
(04:06):
day. So you guys hear planesand shit whatever. But yeah, so
that's what I'm talking to talking abouton this podcast. It's different. It's
just me on this podcast. Idon't need no other co hosts or anything.
I'll bring in interviews in time totime like I always do. But
just how the market is with podcasts, how saturated isn't I don't care no
(04:30):
more. It's just like motherfuckers justsay, hey, anybody just get a
microphone and sit here and talk aboutwhat women don't do or what women don't
do, or what they should doin their life and all this bullshit.
Fuck all that. Man, I'mspeaking from the portant aspect of my life.
I'm giving you put this way,I'm giving you a porn industry person
life or aspect and views on relationshipsand what to do and what not to
(04:54):
do and all. That's just myopinions on stuff. So that's what it
is. That was the intro.I mean, I don't have too much
new shit to dive in, butwhat I just told you, I'm just
gonna go over a few little topics. Just getting back into it again.
I'd say that always every fucking time. But like I said, make sure
you subscribe to this podcast, followme on Instagram on here where we listen
(05:15):
to this, make sure you hitthat subscribe button. And yeah, we're
gonna dive right into it. AndI'm doing this on one take. We
ain't gonna skip. Let me drinksome of this coffee, No vodka,
no Hennessy, none of that typeof shit today, just coffee. So
(05:36):
share a story. But what I'vebeen going through, I don't know how
my lat podcast I did this.I talked about this. One of the
reasons why I haven't been doing thisis my dad got sick, very sick.
He's doing way better now. Butyou know, for most people that
don't know, I take care ofmy dad. I've been doing it for
the past like eight years or maybefive years. Not like take care every
(06:00):
where he needs help like that,but you know, make sure he lives
with me. Take care of everythingthis thing too. Like I do porn.
I can bring visiness in my house, just shoot and do all that.
My dad live here with me,okay, and he's okay with you
don't care about that shit. Imean, you guys, if you want
to go listen to an old podcastinglike my second episode, I had my
dad on here that was years ago. But yeah, so I take care
(06:21):
of my dad. That's the numberone response for me. So things got
a little different in the past coupleof months. I think like around December
he went to the hospital. Like, ay, they're not saying it was
a stroke, but it's kind oflike a stroke. So you know,
that kind of flipped my world upsidedown. I'm like, well, you
know, shit's getting real, likethis could happen. What if he's you
(06:43):
know, all the shit that yougo through in your mind, what if
he's here, if he's not.I was doing hospital visits with him,
scans and all this shit, meetingdifferent doctors, and you know that shit
is like really ways on, youknow what I mean, especially if he
ain't been through it before. Andwith my dad, that's like my best
friend. I take, you know, like I said, take care of
them. Me took her and meetmy whole life. So that's a number
(07:04):
of responsibility for me. So thatchanged a lot of things and just had
me looking as you know what,I need to make sure I'm fit,
I'm right for the day when Iwant to have kids or something, or
if I want to be in health. So like you'all know, I played
basketball before I got into porn.So now my mind is just went back
to that focus of, like,you know, I need to stay in
(07:26):
shape, especially for this industry thatI'm in now. I don't shoot as
lot of like I do anymore,but I like to do photo shoots sometimes
solos and a little work here andthere, so I like to look my
best. So that's why I'm startingto take my fitness very important. Now,
slow down smoking, which I hate, slow down, drinking, just
all that stuff to trade get myselfin better shape. Like I know I
(07:47):
don't look bad, but I'm tryingto reach to that fucking where I'm out
here looking like a god to motherfuckers. But they're looking at me like cool
shit, look at that, andthey're looking good. So that's what I'm
like. I've been and focusing onthat. And it took a little scared
of my dad getting sick for meto I want to do that. So
that's kind of like how my mindis is focused on it. So I
(08:09):
wish I could show you guys avideo as I recorded this podcast. My
dog is behind me humping this pillow. It's a little up with this on
tape on Instagram. Chill out,leave it alone. Yeah, okay,
yeah, So what was I talkingabout? That's good? Uh, happy
(08:39):
back, Happy to be back doingthis shit. It feels good. It's
like my own little therapy sessions formyself. One thing I had in my
notes I was gonna talk about isI love to read it how I wrote
it down. Let's see, itmight sound stupid as fuck, but this
is how I wrote it down andmixed my mind think Okay, that's what
(09:00):
I meant, Sowder. You getyou question your own mission, like should
I go fuck her? Or shouldI stay home? Okay, that's not
shouldn't say that? That was adifferent So this note that I just was
in my phone's random note. Sowhat I got from that just I remember
stuff on my talking points. Soby writing that, thlder I get,
(09:24):
I started to questioning my missions andshit like do I you wouldn't go do
it? I got a nice bigass house, comfortable, live comfortable,
don't have no worries besides that,you know, my damn being sake and
what rather life gives you and allthat bullshit. So sometime I sit at
home and I be thinking like,okay, this girl want me to go
(09:46):
ahead? Do I feel like gettingdressed, showering, what going out to
eat? Or going to go geta room or do something? Or would
I rather just sit home watch thebe A playoffs, relaxed better on the
game, maybe smoke and relax.Like, sometimes I be questioning myself,
(10:11):
do I really want to go dothat? It's just well and this thing,
I got a story to to tellyou, guys, hope you don't
judge me on it too. Butit's by a girl. But sometimes now
I'm just finding myself. I don'tneed to go do that, like especially
when being important, like you alwaysbe like, oh, I'm not gonna
go meet up with you, nlessyou're gonna let me shoot. Oh you
don't let me shoot? Okay,And then sometime I fuck with the girl
here and there just for fun.But if you're doing important, I just
(10:33):
didn't like hook up or just hookup. Can't record it, can't make
no money off of it. No, I'm cool. I don't need it
nowadays. I don't need it forshooting anymore. So if I'm coming to
see you, it's like, Okay, we're just gonna go. We're gonna
fuck, but make sure we're gonnafuck. I'm too old now and the
ship I do and I'm not toput it this way, like how this
(10:58):
shit ties into so many like leaddifferent lead pathways and shit. But trying
to stay on topic, I'd rathersometimes just sit at home, you know,
Like I don't need to do it, and it has so much pussy
in my life, and I haveso much sex in my life, and
I have so much first night encountersand hook up encounters and shit it's kind
of like, Okay, you know, yes, I want it. But
(11:20):
then after I'm like, okay,that was whatever. It's like adding a
notchal adult. But as I'm sayingthat, at the same time, I
don't want to hang out with youif I'm not going to fuck. That
sounds terrible. If I'm gonna sayit again, I don't want to hang
out with you if I'm not goingto fuck. Sounds rude as fuck.
(11:43):
But I know I don't give afuck. It's just so put it this
way. Girls talk to me andthey want to they think I look good
and all that shit. Didn't wantto hook up with me and all that,
and like, actually talk talk tome, see where the things can
go. And this is talking froma girl that doesn't know I do porn
or been in the porn in thestreet. You know what I mean.
(12:07):
Once I tell them, shit havechanged, you know what I mean?
So my mind goesa, Okay,Well, if I know your mind's going
to change, I'll just come outto the front gate with it and tell
you what I do and who Iam and shit. And you know,
it's fifty to fifty. Some girlsstill want to fuck with me. Some
dope but at the same time,those girls that don't want to fuck with
me before they knew that I didporn, I don't want you either,
(12:33):
you know what I mean. Thetype of women that's for me is women
that have men already or that aremarried or single, want to have fun
or want to get some real gooddick for the first time in their life.
And what I mean, for thefirst time in life. A lot
of women think they'd have had itgood, but they you know. So
(12:54):
that's like where I'm in at.Like that sound like a real nigga by
saying I wouldn't want to fuck,but what I do for a living and
where I'm at in my life andwhat I'm looking for, Like we can
I'm down to get to know you. I'm down for all that. We
can hang out, we can talkand go out in public, have drinks
and all that shit before we havesex or whatever. But just know now,
(13:16):
unless you say I don't like you, I've turned off like you.
Totally fine, no problem, Iget it everybody and everybody's a couple of
decent times, so you know,but if we're meeting up, I'm gonna
let you know this is what I'mtrying to do. You know what I
do for a living, so youknow what I'm about. And by saying
it doesn't mean like, are youI'm just gonna be really fucking nervous.
Give me, give me this,No, But my type of connection and
(13:41):
fun is if it has sex themall. Yes, we can go to
the bone. Now, he cango bowl and go to the movies and
go fucking eat ice cream. Wecan do all that shit. But at
the end of the night, youknow, if we're vibing, I expect
that it happened and you're gonna getthe best time in your life coming from
me though. So that's just howit is. Once I gotta text received,
(14:09):
so you're not going out. Sorry, man, it's a therapeutic.
I'm so glad to be back onhere. It just helps me. Like
I said, make sure y'all fuckingsubscribe. Yeah, so I have a
story more. I'm trying to makethese more, these podcasts more, or
these episodes more story based. Andthis kind of ties into what I was
(14:31):
talking about a minute ago. Y'allcan judge me on this. I want
I want to send me I wantto know so I really tell you my
age, but I not have it. But the older I get, the
more I like, I don't givea fuck. So I'm in my early
thirties, I still use tender.Shout out tender. I just used.
(14:52):
It's like, you know, it'sgood for networking. I can find somebody
own there to shoot with. IfI still I want to shoot, I
can find someone on there, uhthat might want to get in the industry,
and I can help them out becauseI do have my agency and I
want to fuck sometime. Shout outtender. I mean, I've been having
(15:13):
tender for years and years. Ihad tender when it was when people was
ashamed to have tenure, Like itwas like, oh shit, what you
going tender? What the fuck?But I mean I had it. Never
delete my count. Now I'm likeon there fucking swiping every day and got
time for that. But I stillhave it and it's still very effective.
So I don't have like no limitsare there set up or like restrictions or
(15:37):
location all that's just whatever pops uppops up, and I guess I must
matched with this nineteen year old girl. So I didn't know her age or
whatever. We were talking all that, and I finally so I was like
damn you, damn mammy, youfucking uh nineteen years old that shit.
And I'm like, damn, Igotta get off tender. I gotta change
(15:58):
my fucking my age on there becauseit's you're gonna get from eighteen to like
sixty on there. Letbe six yearold women on there, which is crazy.
But you know, some people whattender's good for it Like a lot
of people don't go out to theclub, like I, damn for sure
don't go out to the club nomore. I probably last time been to
a club was a year and ahalf ago. I ain't been to a
(16:21):
bar maybe in eight months or something. So you know, I get it.
Tender it's good for people. Youknow, fine, love just the
fuck whatever you want. I lovetender. Shout out tender way you on
my sponsor. Back to the story. So there's a nine year old girl.
I was like, damn, you'rekind of young, and I turned
her my age and she was Iwas like, you're okay with talking somebody
(16:42):
my age? And when I wasnineteen to have to talk to someone that
was like twenty two to twenty fouror I remember half this girl, I
was twenty five and I was likenineteen. I was like shitro CRuMs.
I was like juice of shit,you know. But like even I of
you, like nineteen eighteen, youget twenty one year old or something,
you know, like you feel goodabout that, but when is this comes
(17:04):
to problem? Okay? And likeI asked her and she was like,
yeah, I'm nineteen, but I'mgrown. And she was hell attracted to
me. She wanted to fuck withme and everything. And I'm like then
she told me, and like Isaid, go back to her story.
I'm down to just fuck you knowwhat I mean. And I'm like,
wait, this is a nineteen yearold girl. She's got a high school.
I'm tucking thirty years old. Butyou know, in the porn industry
(17:26):
they do shit like that. Butthis girl just wanted to talk to me,
you know, have fun and allthat. And I was like,
first of all, I never talkedto a girl that young. Even in
my porn videos when I was liketwenty five and porn, I never did
a video of like a young girllike that. I think the youngest the
young The youngest video I did wasI was twenty five and a girl was
twenty, so okay whatever, Andthis girl She wanted me to take her
(17:52):
out for her birthday, which isfine. I'm okay. She wanted to
go to a steakhouse and then Idon't know where. I just goost her,
and I'm just like, you knowwhat, she's fucking nineteen. I
can't do that. Whether she evensaid you want to do a video with
me, it's just, you know, it's a little weird to me.
(18:12):
Ain't nothing wrong with that. It'slegal and everything, but for me,
it just comes off a little youknow, nineteen, what are we going
to talk about? Or we're onthe same bob and shit, you know.
But I'm like, don't get mewrong, there are nineteen year olds,
and there's young people out there.There's way more experienced, more and
more responsible and understanding than my fucking'sthirty twenty eight whatever. Yeah, of
(18:32):
course that's out there, of course, But so I feel at bad that
I go stirring shit. But Ijust didn't, you know, she don't
seal with me, right, Andthat's when it comes when it comes to
sex or anything I've done. Ididn't been with girls hooking up and shit,
and they seem too drunk. SoI stopped the moment. I said
(18:55):
hey, are you sure with this? And all that. I had a
girl that came that was hitting mebecause I was in Vegas. She wanted
to come through to the hotel andI was all, I'm with my boy,
and she's like, come get bothof your head, talking big shall
oh, Okay, tell my boy, Okay, we got a girl's gonna
come and give us some head andall that. She gets there, she's
drunk. She's saying she don't wantto do nothing no more, and she's
(19:17):
acting weird, and I'm like,you know what, I'll get on my
phone called Uber. I'll walk herout. And she's mad, she's crying,
and I was like, you knowwhat, I'm a little bit too
drunk for me, so I'm goingto send you back to your hotel because
I don't want you doing anything here. You don't remember or anything. And
she was like, no, Ijust just want to give you hit,
not your friend. I was like, you know what, I don't want
(19:40):
anything no more because I don't likecomplicated. I don't like she getting complicated
or confused or anything. So Iwas like, you know what, just
I'm in Vegas for a couple moredays. You go back to your room,
tonight you sober up a little bit, and then tomorrow wee can we
can, we can talk. I'mjust always considerate and mindful every situation.
(20:00):
I mean when it comes to sexualshit. And that's what the porn industry
taught me. You know, alot of people think about porn as in
just a whole nazy shit that's goingon and all that. I mean,
like, I'm in the porn industry, but I'm really not. Like I
don't have porn industry contacts like Idid when I first started. You know,
I'm on the outside and I'm doingmy independent s. You know,
(20:23):
I got my shit on porn andhub ex videos and OnlyFans over not and
all that. But you know,I kind of keep it tight knit.
Another thing that ties into this aswell. Something I read in my notes
is I put I sacrifice normal lifeand what y'all call real love, and
(20:45):
I put that to the side formy porn life. So what I mean
by that is so one in mysituation, it's kind of hard to you
know, I have that regular typeof relationship, and I get it.
Who wants someone to be the wordand that's I'm not doing porn like this
anymore. But you know, whenI was doing it years ago, who
(21:06):
wants your man or your woman togo get fucked all day and get fucking
around and put his work and thencome home to you. So let me,
I get it. So a lotof relationships fail or won't work because
of that, and a lot ofpeople don't understand that. So I totally
get it. But the thing isnormal people with their people that have normal
(21:26):
lives put that ship back on me, like, oh, how are you
gonna find love? How are yougonna do this? I've never had a
problem with that. I've been goodwith within that. You know, it's
there's certain people for everybody. Likethere's people out there that only drink Hennessy,
won't touch tequila, and it's peoplethat won't touch no alcohol. But
that's somebody pissing their mouth. There'syou know, just trying to I'm just
(21:53):
trying to nail it home for you. Like there's different coffee now, there's
different things for different people. Youknow what I mean. Kind of lost
my train of talk, but yeah, man, I just wanted to get
back doing this, doing another episode. I'm looking through my notes right now
(22:14):
to see if anything else I wantto cover, But I think we good
on this one. You know,I just wanted to keep coming back out
doing this. I want to asksome more visual stuff, like would you
guys hear on this podcast but actuallydo visual ones and post rails on IG.
But yeah, you guys got questions, hear me up IG Talk with
Jahan. Subscribe on here if you'relistening to the Apple Podcasts, wherever you're
(22:38):
listening to the Spotify, I HeartRadio, iHeartRadio wherever you're listening to it,
make sure you subscribe. Hit meup with questions. Should you want
me to come over, y'all knowhow to find an email or like I
said, I g were back onhere. I'm gonna give you all target
date for the next one. Let'sdue next Saturday morning or be out Sunday
(23:00):
one of those. So yeah,we're back at it. Thank you for
tuning in to fuck it that's talkingabout with your high. Next, if
you haven't listened to my old episodes, go listen to some other ones and
some good ones out there. Thenext one, i'm'na try to see if
I can work on getting an interviewbringing y'all somebody on here. But yeah,
I'm back. Try to keep itrolling for y'all.
Yeah, yeah, back with anotherepisode. Fuck It, Let's talk about
with Jas. Spend a minute.We're gonna go hard today. What's up
(00:21):
us up now? Tune into fuckIt. Let's talk with jah X.
That's coffee I'm drinking. It's tentwenty two in the morning on a Saturday.
Ain't no vodka today, Ain't noweed. I come on here and
I do these podcasts, and Isuck on my accountability on this because you
(00:50):
can go back to listen to otherepisodes, and I'm like, all right,
y'all, I'm back in the zone. I'm gonna be on here every
day. I'm gonna make sure Ipost every week, and then I fade
away for a month. And that'swhy it's like this podcast is super real
to me, and it's just likeanything and what anybody does to do this
(01:11):
podcast. Mentally, I need tobe in the right zone. I gotta
haveshit. I want to talk aboutif I feel like I ain't doing good.
Put it this way, I'm alwaysdoing good in my life because I
have my business like everything, butthat's not everything, you know what I
mean? Like I could be makingmoney every day, but no, I
don't feel good today. So thatthat weighs into it. But for now
(01:33):
I'm back. There's so many differentthings I want to talk about, and
even how I'm doing this podcast now, I really just said, fuck it.
There's too many people that got podcastsouts that want to do shit.
I feel like people should have alicense or what. Why why do you
have a podcast? Why just totalk and say, oh god, you
should do this on the first daywhen you do this all that bullshit.
(01:56):
My podcast is just about, Hey, I was in an industry still is.
These are my stories in it,and that's it. I ain't up.
I ain't here to raise ice browson or stational court. You're like
women should pay for men date firstand get all these clicks and all that
shit. You just you want tolisten to this kind to me because you
want to hear some stories about theindustry that I've been in and what happens,
(02:19):
what still goes on, and justadvice on how someone in the industry
that does all this, someone thatcan fuck your mama in front of you,
or fuck your sister, or myhusband calls me to fuck their wife.
The reason I can do that isbecause I'm talking about this shit.
You know, I live this shit. So I mean, and this is
like a source of one of mymain incomes. I did this podcast just
(02:40):
because I like to get a voiceout. I'm not the one that likes
to be on social media talking aboutall my opinions and shit like that.
So one place you want to getit, you can get it right here.
And it's with saying that I'm losingthe back looking himself. I don't
know if you'all can hear that,but with saying that, my journey of
(03:01):
doing this podcast a little different.Let you guys know when I'm up on
it what I'm doing now. I'mtaking my fitness very serious now for the
past couple of months. I've beenthis industry for like eight years. When
I first started off, Yes,I did drugs, a party. I
was out every night. You know, when you do born it's like that
type of life. You know,You're you're out every night, meeting people,
(03:21):
You're traveling and shit. I know, y'all, but when I travel
I like to drink. So ohI'm on a plane for five hours.
Okay, Oh y'all got henessy onhere, give me a buzz ball,
give me too. Jack Daniels andthe coke or something like, oh,
we're gonna go meet somebody to go, shoot, let's have a drink first,
you know, break the ice.So this, this is entertainment industry
that I'm in it it makes youdo that type of shit, you know
(03:45):
what I mean, Like, Oh, I'm about to go meet somebody for
the first time, and shoot,why not have a drink. I'm not
coming here sober and all weird,you know what I mean. So it's
you. It's a thin line betweenthat and you have to, like when
your life, when your job isto party or your job is to show
party, you know, to tryto find that that in line. I'm
upstairs in my office last studio,the windows open. It's a beautiful ass
(04:06):
day. So you guys hear planesand shit whatever. But yeah, so
that's what I'm talking to talking abouton this podcast. It's different. It's
just me on this podcast. Idon't need no other co hosts or anything.
I'll bring in interviews in time totime like I always do. But
just how the market is with podcasts, how saturated isn't I don't care no
(04:30):
more. It's just like motherfuckers justsay, hey, anybody just get a
microphone and sit here and talk aboutwhat women don't do or what women don't
do, or what they should doin their life and all this bullshit.
Fuck all that. Man, I'mspeaking from the portant aspect of my life.
I'm giving you put this way,I'm giving you a porn industry person
life or aspect and views on relationshipsand what to do and what not to
(04:54):
do and all. That's just myopinions on stuff. So that's what it
is. That was the intro.I mean, I don't have too much
new shit to dive in, butwhat I just told you, I'm just
gonna go over a few little topics. Just getting back into it again.
I'd say that always every fucking time. But like I said, make sure
you subscribe to this podcast, followme on Instagram on here where we listen
(05:15):
to this, make sure you hitthat subscribe button. And yeah, we're
gonna dive right into it. AndI'm doing this on one take. We
ain't gonna skip. Let me drinksome of this coffee, No vodka,
no Hennessy, none of that typeof shit today, just coffee. So
(05:36):
share a story. But what I'vebeen going through, I don't know how
my lat podcast I did this.I talked about this. One of the
reasons why I haven't been doing thisis my dad got sick, very sick.
He's doing way better now. Butyou know, for most people that
don't know, I take care ofmy dad. I've been doing it for
the past like eight years or maybefive years. Not like take care every
(06:00):
where he needs help like that,but you know, make sure he lives
with me. Take care of everythingthis thing too. Like I do porn.
I can bring visiness in my house, just shoot and do all that.
My dad live here with me,okay, and he's okay with you
don't care about that shit. Imean, you guys, if you want
to go listen to an old podcastinglike my second episode, I had my
dad on here that was years ago. But yeah, so I take care
(06:21):
of my dad. That's the numberone response for me. So things got
a little different in the past coupleof months. I think like around December
he went to the hospital. Like, ay, they're not saying it was
a stroke, but it's kind oflike a stroke. So you know,
that kind of flipped my world upsidedown. I'm like, well, you
know, shit's getting real, likethis could happen. What if he's you
(06:43):
know, all the shit that yougo through in your mind, what if
he's here, if he's not.I was doing hospital visits with him,
scans and all this shit, meetingdifferent doctors, and you know that shit
is like really ways on, youknow what I mean, especially if he
ain't been through it before. Andwith my dad, that's like my best
friend. I take, you know, like I said, take care of
them. Me took her and meetmy whole life. So that's a number
(07:04):
of responsibility for me. So thatchanged a lot of things and just had
me looking as you know what,I need to make sure I'm fit,
I'm right for the day when Iwant to have kids or something, or
if I want to be in health. So like you'all know, I played
basketball before I got into porn.So now my mind is just went back
to that focus of, like,you know, I need to stay in
(07:26):
shape, especially for this industry thatI'm in now. I don't shoot as
lot of like I do anymore,but I like to do photo shoots sometimes
solos and a little work here andthere, so I like to look my
best. So that's why I'm startingto take my fitness very important. Now,
slow down smoking, which I hate, slow down, drinking, just
all that stuff to trade get myselfin better shape. Like I know I
(07:47):
don't look bad, but I'm tryingto reach to that fucking where I'm out
here looking like a god to motherfuckers. But they're looking at me like cool
shit, look at that, andthey're looking good. So that's what I'm
like. I've been and focusing onthat. And it took a little scared
of my dad getting sick for meto I want to do that. So
that's kind of like how my mindis is focused on it. So I
(08:09):
wish I could show you guys avideo as I recorded this podcast. My
dog is behind me humping this pillow. It's a little up with this on
tape on Instagram. Chill out,leave it alone. Yeah, okay,
yeah, So what was I talkingabout? That's good? Uh, happy
(08:39):
back, Happy to be back doingthis shit. It feels good. It's
like my own little therapy sessions formyself. One thing I had in my
notes I was gonna talk about isI love to read it how I wrote
it down. Let's see, itmight sound stupid as fuck, but this
is how I wrote it down andmixed my mind think Okay, that's what
(09:00):
I meant, Sowder. You getyou question your own mission, like should
I go fuck her? Or shouldI stay home? Okay, that's not
shouldn't say that? That was adifferent So this note that I just was
in my phone's random note. Sowhat I got from that just I remember
stuff on my talking points. Soby writing that, thlder I get,
(09:24):
I started to questioning my missions andshit like do I you wouldn't go do
it? I got a nice bigass house, comfortable, live comfortable,
don't have no worries besides that,you know, my damn being sake and
what rather life gives you and allthat bullshit. So sometime I sit at
home and I be thinking like,okay, this girl want me to go
(09:46):
ahead? Do I feel like gettingdressed, showering, what going out to
eat? Or going to go geta room or do something? Or would
I rather just sit home watch thebe A playoffs, relaxed better on the
game, maybe smoke and relax.Like, sometimes I be questioning myself,
(10:11):
do I really want to go dothat? It's just well and this thing,
I got a story to to tellyou, guys, hope you don't
judge me on it too. Butit's by a girl. But sometimes now
I'm just finding myself. I don'tneed to go do that, like especially
when being important, like you alwaysbe like, oh, I'm not gonna
go meet up with you, nlessyou're gonna let me shoot. Oh you
don't let me shoot? Okay,And then sometime I fuck with the girl
here and there just for fun.But if you're doing important, I just
(10:33):
didn't like hook up or just hookup. Can't record it, can't make
no money off of it. No, I'm cool. I don't need it
nowadays. I don't need it forshooting anymore. So if I'm coming to
see you, it's like, Okay, we're just gonna go. We're gonna
fuck, but make sure we're gonnafuck. I'm too old now and the
ship I do and I'm not toput it this way, like how this
(10:58):
shit ties into so many like leaddifferent lead pathways and shit. But trying
to stay on topic, I'd rathersometimes just sit at home, you know,
Like I don't need to do it, and it has so much pussy
in my life, and I haveso much sex in my life, and
I have so much first night encountersand hook up encounters and shit it's kind
of like, Okay, you know, yes, I want it. But
(11:20):
then after I'm like, okay,that was whatever. It's like adding a
notchal adult. But as I'm sayingthat, at the same time, I
don't want to hang out with youif I'm not going to fuck. That
sounds terrible. If I'm gonna sayit again, I don't want to hang
out with you if I'm not goingto fuck. Sounds rude as fuck.
(11:43):
But I know I don't give afuck. It's just so put it this
way. Girls talk to me andthey want to they think I look good
and all that shit. Didn't wantto hook up with me and all that,
and like, actually talk talk tome, see where the things can
go. And this is talking froma girl that doesn't know I do porn
or been in the porn in thestreet. You know what I mean.
(12:07):
Once I tell them, shit havechanged, you know what I mean?
So my mind goesa, Okay,Well, if I know your mind's going
to change, I'll just come outto the front gate with it and tell
you what I do and who Iam and shit. And you know,
it's fifty to fifty. Some girlsstill want to fuck with me. Some
dope but at the same time,those girls that don't want to fuck with
me before they knew that I didporn, I don't want you either,
(12:33):
you know what I mean. Thetype of women that's for me is women
that have men already or that aremarried or single, want to have fun
or want to get some real gooddick for the first time in their life.
And what I mean, for thefirst time in life. A lot
of women think they'd have had itgood, but they you know. So
(12:54):
that's like where I'm in at.Like that sound like a real nigga by
saying I wouldn't want to fuck,but what I do for a living and
where I'm at in my life andwhat I'm looking for, Like we can
I'm down to get to know you. I'm down for all that. We
can hang out, we can talkand go out in public, have drinks
and all that shit before we havesex or whatever. But just know now,
(13:16):
unless you say I don't like you, I've turned off like you.
Totally fine, no problem, Iget it everybody and everybody's a couple of
decent times, so you know,but if we're meeting up, I'm gonna
let you know this is what I'mtrying to do. You know what I
do for a living, so youknow what I'm about. And by saying
it doesn't mean like, are youI'm just gonna be really fucking nervous.
Give me, give me this,No, But my type of connection and
(13:41):
fun is if it has sex themall. Yes, we can go to
the bone. Now, he cango bowl and go to the movies and
go fucking eat ice cream. Wecan do all that shit. But at
the end of the night, youknow, if we're vibing, I expect
that it happened and you're gonna getthe best time in your life coming from
me though. So that's just howit is. Once I gotta text received,
(14:09):
so you're not going out. Sorry, man, it's a therapeutic.
I'm so glad to be back onhere. It just helps me. Like
I said, make sure y'all fuckingsubscribe. Yeah, so I have a
story more. I'm trying to makethese more, these podcasts more, or
these episodes more story based. Andthis kind of ties into what I was
(14:31):
talking about a minute ago. Y'allcan judge me on this. I want
I want to send me I wantto know so I really tell you my
age, but I not have it. But the older I get, the
more I like, I don't givea fuck. So I'm in my early
thirties, I still use tender.Shout out tender. I just used.
(14:52):
It's like, you know, it'sgood for networking. I can find somebody
own there to shoot with. IfI still I want to shoot, I
can find someone on there, uhthat might want to get in the industry,
and I can help them out becauseI do have my agency and I
want to fuck sometime. Shout outtender. I mean, I've been having
(15:13):
tender for years and years. Ihad tender when it was when people was
ashamed to have tenure, Like itwas like, oh shit, what you
going tender? What the fuck?But I mean I had it. Never
delete my count. Now I'm likeon there fucking swiping every day and got
time for that. But I stillhave it and it's still very effective.
So I don't have like no limitsare there set up or like restrictions or
(15:37):
location all that's just whatever pops uppops up, and I guess I must
matched with this nineteen year old girl. So I didn't know her age or
whatever. We were talking all that, and I finally so I was like
damn you, damn mammy, youfucking uh nineteen years old that shit.
And I'm like, damn, Igotta get off tender. I gotta change
(15:58):
my fucking my age on there becauseit's you're gonna get from eighteen to like
sixty on there. Letbe six yearold women on there, which is crazy.
But you know, some people whattender's good for it Like a lot
of people don't go out to theclub, like I, damn for sure
don't go out to the club nomore. I probably last time been to
a club was a year and ahalf ago. I ain't been to a
(16:21):
bar maybe in eight months or something. So you know, I get it.
Tender it's good for people. Youknow, fine, love just the
fuck whatever you want. I lovetender. Shout out tender way you on
my sponsor. Back to the story. So there's a nine year old girl.
I was like, damn, you'rekind of young, and I turned
her my age and she was Iwas like, you're okay with talking somebody
(16:42):
my age? And when I wasnineteen to have to talk to someone that
was like twenty two to twenty fouror I remember half this girl, I
was twenty five and I was likenineteen. I was like shitro CRuMs.
I was like juice of shit,you know. But like even I of
you, like nineteen eighteen, youget twenty one year old or something,
you know, like you feel goodabout that, but when is this comes
(17:04):
to problem? Okay? And likeI asked her and she was like,
yeah, I'm nineteen, but I'mgrown. And she was hell attracted to
me. She wanted to fuck withme and everything. And I'm like then
she told me, and like Isaid, go back to her story.
I'm down to just fuck you knowwhat I mean. And I'm like,
wait, this is a nineteen yearold girl. She's got a high school.
I'm tucking thirty years old. Butyou know, in the porn industry
(17:26):
they do shit like that. Butthis girl just wanted to talk to me,
you know, have fun and allthat. And I was like,
first of all, I never talkedto a girl that young. Even in
my porn videos when I was liketwenty five and porn, I never did
a video of like a young girllike that. I think the youngest the
young The youngest video I did wasI was twenty five and a girl was
twenty, so okay whatever, Andthis girl She wanted me to take her
(17:52):
out for her birthday, which isfine. I'm okay. She wanted to
go to a steakhouse and then Idon't know where. I just goost her,
and I'm just like, you knowwhat, she's fucking nineteen. I
can't do that. Whether she evensaid you want to do a video with
me, it's just, you know, it's a little weird to me.
(18:12):
Ain't nothing wrong with that. It'slegal and everything, but for me,
it just comes off a little youknow, nineteen, what are we going
to talk about? Or we're onthe same bob and shit, you know.
But I'm like, don't get mewrong, there are nineteen year olds,
and there's young people out there.There's way more experienced, more and
more responsible and understanding than my fucking'sthirty twenty eight whatever. Yeah, of
(18:32):
course that's out there, of course, But so I feel at bad that
I go stirring shit. But Ijust didn't, you know, she don't
seal with me, right, Andthat's when it comes when it comes to
sex or anything I've done. Ididn't been with girls hooking up and shit,
and they seem too drunk. SoI stopped the moment. I said
(18:55):
hey, are you sure with this? And all that. I had a
girl that came that was hitting mebecause I was in Vegas. She wanted
to come through to the hotel andI was all, I'm with my boy,
and she's like, come get bothof your head, talking big shall
oh, Okay, tell my boy, Okay, we got a girl's gonna
come and give us some head andall that. She gets there, she's
drunk. She's saying she don't wantto do nothing no more, and she's
(19:17):
acting weird, and I'm like,you know what, I'll get on my
phone called Uber. I'll walk herout. And she's mad, she's crying,
and I was like, you knowwhat, I'm a little bit too
drunk for me, so I'm goingto send you back to your hotel because
I don't want you doing anything here. You don't remember or anything. And
she was like, no, Ijust just want to give you hit,
not your friend. I was like, you know what, I don't want
(19:40):
anything no more because I don't likecomplicated. I don't like she getting complicated
or confused or anything. So Iwas like, you know what, just
I'm in Vegas for a couple moredays. You go back to your room,
tonight you sober up a little bit, and then tomorrow wee can we
can, we can talk. I'mjust always considerate and mindful every situation.
(20:00):
I mean when it comes to sexualshit. And that's what the porn industry
taught me. You know, alot of people think about porn as in
just a whole nazy shit that's goingon and all that. I mean,
like, I'm in the porn industry, but I'm really not. Like I
don't have porn industry contacts like Idid when I first started. You know,
I'm on the outside and I'm doingmy independent s. You know,
(20:23):
I got my shit on porn andhub ex videos and OnlyFans over not and
all that. But you know,I kind of keep it tight knit.
Another thing that ties into this aswell. Something I read in my notes
is I put I sacrifice normal lifeand what y'all call real love, and
(20:45):
I put that to the side formy porn life. So what I mean
by that is so one in mysituation, it's kind of hard to you
know, I have that regular typeof relationship, and I get it.
Who wants someone to be the wordand that's I'm not doing porn like this
anymore. But you know, whenI was doing it years ago, who
(21:06):
wants your man or your woman togo get fucked all day and get fucking
around and put his work and thencome home to you. So let me,
I get it. So a lotof relationships fail or won't work because
of that, and a lot ofpeople don't understand that. So I totally
get it. But the thing isnormal people with their people that have normal
(21:26):
lives put that ship back on me, like, oh, how are you
gonna find love? How are yougonna do this? I've never had a
problem with that. I've been goodwith within that. You know, it's
there's certain people for everybody. Likethere's people out there that only drink Hennessy,
won't touch tequila, and it's peoplethat won't touch no alcohol. But
that's somebody pissing their mouth. There'syou know, just trying to I'm just
(21:53):
trying to nail it home for you. Like there's different coffee now, there's
different things for different people. Youknow what I mean. Kind of lost
my train of talk, but yeah, man, I just wanted to get
back doing this, doing another episode. I'm looking through my notes right now
(22:14):
to see if anything else I wantto cover, But I think we good
on this one. You know,I just wanted to keep coming back out
doing this. I want to asksome more visual stuff, like would you
guys hear on this podcast but actuallydo visual ones and post rails on IG.
But yeah, you guys got questions, hear me up IG Talk with
Jahan. Subscribe on here if you'relistening to the Apple Podcasts, wherever you're
(22:38):
listening to the Spotify, I HeartRadio, iHeartRadio wherever you're listening to it,
make sure you subscribe. Hit meup with questions. Should you want
me to come over, y'all knowhow to find an email or like I
said, I g were back onhere. I'm gonna give you all target
date for the next one. Let'sdue next Saturday morning or be out Sunday
(23:00):
one of those. So yeah,we're back at it. Thank you for
tuning in to fuck it that's talkingabout with your high. Next, if
you haven't listened to my old episodes, go listen to some other ones and
some good ones out there. Thenext one, i'm'na try to see if
I can work on getting an interviewbringing y'all somebody on here. But yeah,
I'm back. Try to keep itrolling for y'all.
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