Humorous #FeelingsMatter

In this episode of #FeelingsMatter, hosts Michelle Stinson Ross, Tina Schweiger, and Heather Hampton explore the emotion of feeling humorous - that sense of being amused, finding something comical, or feeling like acting silly. The conversation examines humor's relationship to life's absurdity, its healing power in difficult times, and how laughter serves as emotional release similar to crying. The hosts discuss how humor connects us communally and how multiple emotions can coexist, including humor during periods of depression.

Episode Highlights:

• Michelle describes her belief that "life is absurd" and her tendency to find humor even when it's not appropriate, noting how she uses humor in public speaking to make connections by getting people to "sit in the space of humor" with her
• Tina shares how humor can emerge at the bottom of "emptying that sadness cup," describing humor as both healing and a coping mechanism she uses to break the hold of negativity when situations get dark or uncomfortable
• Heather offers important insight for understanding depression, explaining that people can experience multiple emotions simultaneously - laughing and having fun with friends doesn't mean depression has disappeared or been "cured"
• Michelle draws a powerful parallel between crying and laughter as forms of emotional release, noting both are "cathartic, therapeutic, and healing" and give us what we need to continue moving through difficult experiences
• The hosts explore the communal nature of humor, noting how we literally buy tickets to comedy shows to "feel humorous with other people" and how sharing emotions - whether positive or challenging - is essential for emotional intelligence growth beyond just naming our feelings

Podcast theme music by Dubush Miaw from Pixabay

This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.

This episode is sponsored by 
FeelWise - bridging the gap between reflection and resilience, offering practical tools to help people overcome obstacles, embrace change, and grow stronger emotionally. https://www.feel-wise.com/

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Do you have trouble talking about your feelings? You're not alone.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
It's a topic that can make even.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
The most powerful people somewhat squeamish.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
You're listening to Feelings Matter, where our mission is to
demystify everything about emotions so that we can all get
more comfortable in talking about them. Joining Heather, Tina and
Michelle as we unpack a new angle on emotions and
the psychology of human nature.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Feelings Matter. Hello, and welcome back to Feelings Matter. I'm
Michelle Stinson Ross, I'm Tina.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Schweiger, and I'm Heather Hampton.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Humorous feeling amused or something is funny, or you feel
like acting silly. I am definitely in the vein of
I like silly things. I like delving into the silly,
and I try to find humor. I am one of
those people that believes that life is absurd and that

(01:21):
because it is absurd, you should laugh at it. So
my personality traits tend to lead me toward humor, whether
it's really appropriate or not. Sometimes so some questions you
can ask yourself, am I feeling humorous? Do you find
yourself laughing or smiling frequently in a response to something funny.

(01:42):
Are you able to see the humorous or lighthearted side
of situations? That's me for sure most of the time,
even in challenging or difficult times, again recognizing the absurdity
of the situation. Do you enjoy making others laugh or
sharing funny antecdotes and jokes with them? Who doesn't like
experiencing the bubbliness of somebody else having a good time

(02:08):
and laughing and experiencing that humorous level of joy. I,
like I said, I don't tend to take myself too seriously.
I tend to point out the absurd in things, and
humorists tends to show up for me when my on

(02:29):
switch is really and truly on. We were just talking
about me being an extrovert. So as an extrovert in
either social situations maybe I'm networking, maybe I'm at a
reception or something, or even more so, when I'm in
a public speaking situation that I'm on stage and trying
to engage with a whole group of people in front
of me all at once, I tend to lean into

(02:51):
humorousness that if I can get you to laugh with me,
I probably have made a connection with you and and
can teach you something can share something with you, can
make some kind of impact on you if I can
get you to sit in the space of humor with
me for a moment. So I tend to use humor

(03:12):
in those sorts of ways. Like I said, I'm just
a goofy, silly person, so I tend to blow moving
in the humor space. We've been talking a lot, because hello,
it's now the first of October. How do you feel
about Halloween? But I love Halloween and it does come
from that silly, childlike space where yes, I want to

(03:34):
go all out over the top, let's just embraced the
absurd of life and be silly for a while. And
it's part of the reason why I do. I don't
care for like the spooky, the macabre, the horror of
that some people like in association with Halloween. But I

(03:56):
do the silly, the absurd, the let's get out from
our shell of it a little bit. And yes, that
is why I connect to Halloween. I love the humor
of it.

Speaker 5 (04:10):
M I love that, and I know you will just
experience like a week. I don't know. I think I've
aligned with you on the absurdity of life, and absurdity
is a big source of humor. And I really liked
what I heard you say was whether it's appropriate or not.
And I do find myself having had to learn that

(04:31):
sometimes I'm the only one that finds that joke funny.
But I'm going to go ahead and have that joke
and just keep it to myself unless of around certain
people that appreciate that. I know that appreciate my sense
of humor. And I love the term sense of humor.
Michelle's sense of humor is centered around absurdity. His sense
of humor is probably absurdity plus a layer of super nerd.

(04:56):
It's just punny. If it's punny, where makes your chuckle
a little bit? I just I love it. And another thing
that made me think about was how sometimes that scale
that tips over for sadness that we were talking about
with sadness, where that one thing can tip all of
your sadness and spill it all. I personally find that

(05:20):
sometimes when you get to the bottom of emptying that
sadness cup, you find a little humor, you find a
little absurd humor, and it's I think humor is healing,
and I find myself as using it as a coping
mechanism sometimes if I'm around people that like it gets
dark where everybody gets stressed out, or there's something uncomfortable

(05:44):
or unpleasant in the air, I may throw a little
bit of levity on the situation, just to see if
I can stir up and break the the hold of
the negativity. So what do you is that?

Speaker 4 (05:58):
I totally agree. I think it's pretty common knowledge that
some of the best comics of our age their humor
comes from pain and they turn that pain into laughter
and sometimes torturing themselves in the process. Don't belushy, etc.

(06:18):
Things like that, So I think that connection between sadness
and humor is very close knit. For me, what comes
up is what I want to share with people, because
I'm sure there are people that out there that may
have never experienced depression, but may have people in their
lives who are experiencing depression. And what I want to

(06:41):
talk about is the ability for us to experience multiple
emotions at one time. So I could be in the
middle of a bad depressive period and go out for
an evening with my friends and have a great time
and laugh and tell stories and have a really great

(07:01):
time and still be depressed. And so why can't I
go out and I have a really great time and
I laugh, etc. It doesn't mean that my depression is
gone and that I'm cured or anything like that. Like,
it's possible to hold multiple relate feelings at one time.
So I'm just for the sake of anyone who might

(07:22):
not really understand depression on how it works. That don't
dismiss someone's experience of depression just because you may see
them experiencing emotions that don't sound like depression. Yeah, that
would just be my sort of thought that I would
like to share with folks.

Speaker 5 (07:43):
That's very insightful. Yeah, I can relate.

Speaker 6 (07:49):
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Speaker 7 (08:45):
I wanted to draw a lie and connect a couple
more things because you guys brought up like the experience
of sadness and humor and the juxtaposition that there are
relationships there.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
We've mentioned now several times the need for emotional release,
whether in sadness, having a good cry, releasing that letting
it literally or out of us laughter is in that saying,
vein that it is a release that when humor shows

(09:21):
up to the point of making us laugh, especially uncontrollably,
that that's a physical release as well as an emotional release,
and at least the physiology is very similar. Whether it's
a good prior a good laugh, it's cathartic, it's therapeutic,
it's healing, and it is that's what gets us through things.

(09:47):
It's no Heather's depression didn't go away, but she got
a respite with that humor and delight for a moment
that it wasn't quite as heavy and gives her a
little bit of hope that she can continue to move
through it. And I just that idea of emotional release

(10:09):
really resonated with me.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah, beautiful humor sometimes is the thing that gives us
easy permission to release.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
Yes, I think that's a beautiful thought, Michelle, because a
lot of the times when we talk about in this
podcast we talk about emotions, we talked about we talked
about very personal experiences with emotions and how we deal
with things, et cetera. But I think that reminder of
the communal experience of emotion is another way that really

(10:43):
helps us process, whether that's positive or challenging emotions. The
sharing of those emotions is a really important reflection because
we get very different experiences than what is just inside
our head, and so being able to share emotions, like
the first step and emotional intelligence growth is name your emotions,

(11:07):
and then I think it's sharing them and being able
to communicate with other people and so that shared experience,
like I love that that you like really call that
out Michelle's.

Speaker 5 (11:18):
I could bring that back to one of the comments
about some of the best comics are some of the
saddest people, but we literally buy tickets and go to
comedy shows to sit in a room and feel humorous
with the other group of people communally. Very good example.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
Yeah, which is why when you go see a comedy movie,
it's so much funnier in the movie theater because you
have that emotion that you're sharing, and it builds on
each other and the laughs are bigger and the joy
is bigger. Yes, I love that experience

Speaker 6 (12:02):
Bus