Episode Highlights:
- Heather distinguishes revulsion from merely finding something "revolting," describing revulsion as including layers of loathing, disgust, and abhorrence - using the example of feeling revulsion toward attacks on hospitals during wartime versus simply finding roadkill revolting
- Michelle shares how she experiences revulsion when encountering certain personality types, particularly narcissists, based on past negative experiences, questioning whether her knee-jerk avoidance reaction still serves her or blocks potentially meaningful connections
- The hosts observe that revulsion often appears in response to large-scale issues that make them feel disempowered, with Heather noting she lets the emotion go quickly because "there's nothing I can do about it"
- Tina reveals her experience of revulsion remains "childlike" and tied to physical disgust (like gross porta-potties) rather than evolving to encompass larger moral or societal issues, describing this as where the emotion is "stuck" for her
- The conversation emphasizes that mindfulness techniques for processing revulsion work better for interpersonal situations (like difficult coworkers) than for moral offenses, and sometimes the healthiest response is simply to "turn the TV off" and walk away from the trigger
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This episode of the #FeelingsMatter Podcast was recorded and produced at MSR Studios in Saint Paul, MN. No reproduction, excerpting, or other use without written permission.
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Episode Transcript
Do you have trouble talking about your feelings?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You're not alone.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's a topic that can make even the most.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Powerful people somewhat squeamish.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
You're listening to Feelings Matter, where our mission is to
demystify everything about emotions so that we can all get
more comfortable in talking about them. Joining Heather, Tina and
Michelle as we unpack a new angle on emotions and
the psychology of human nature. Feelings Matter.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Welcome to Feelings Matter.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I'm Michelle Stinconduralas, I'm Teina Schweiger, and I'm Heather Hampton.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Welcome, ladies.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Whatching out for his Heather, My word today is revolt. Okay, So,
the definition of revulsion is feeling a sense of loathing
or repulsion because of someone or something, And the questions
to ask yourself, are you experiencing an intense feeling of
disgust or repulsion when you think about or encounter a
(01:20):
particular person, object, or idea. Do you find yourself replaying
an embarrassing event or situation in your mind repeatedly? Have
you noticed a change in your mood when confronted with
the object of your revulsion? So revulsion to me, this
is great twenty five cent word. I think it's it's
(01:42):
a great word, and I immediately like the word. Other
word that comes to mind is revolting. But for me,
revolting and revulsion are very different. I can find something
revolting because it's just so disgusting. But for me, revulsion
has that feeling of what is in the definition loathing,
(02:06):
of disgust, of abhorrence. So there's an added layer there
of emotion that I'm feeling in revulsion to something. So
looking at a roadkill might be revolting, but I feel
revulsion when I hear about an enemy attack on a
(02:27):
hospital that destroys a hospital during wartime, I'm revolted by
that thought. I'm repulsed. I feel disgusted and a sense
of anger and frustration. This is a very complicated and
very powerful emotion. I think I'm very fortunate that this
is not something that I experience on a daily basis
(02:52):
in my life. I don't have people in my life
that cause me to feel this emotion. Mostly when I
feel this emotion is when I'm watching the news these days.
So in that sense, like it's interesting, I think I
spend more time working on emotions that I experience more
(03:14):
in my daily life. So I might not consider doing
any sort of mindfulness exercises after experiencing revulsion because it
goes away very quickly and then my daily life resumes
and I'm not experiencing it. But now, just in terms
of reflecting, it could be really good for me to
(03:35):
notice these motions that come up for me out of
my normal daily context. One of the exercises for this category,
which is discussed, is to shift your perspective. But I'm
not going to shift my perspective that bombing a hospital
is a horrible, disgusting thing to do, so I don't
(03:55):
be going that's going to be an helpful mindfulness technique.
But I do think that it's worth just reflecting on
and taking a walk or just being curious and just
reflecting on how that could be translated into something more positive,
either as an emotional state or just as more positive
(04:18):
in the world. So do you guys experience revulsion daily?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Based I'm with you, I don't feel like I because
of the intensity of it. I don't run into it
verily often. I also am with you. It seems like
it's grander scale situations than my day to day life.
(04:42):
Situations that are tending to drive a sense of revulsion.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
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I will say there are certain personality types I think
that might cause me to feel a sense of revulsion,
and it has to do with other people that I've experienced.
And I've had experience with a narcissist for example, and
so I do feel that repellent aspect of revulsion when
(06:01):
I clock another narcissist, I'm like, nope, nope, no, I'm
just gonna avoid that immediately. I think it's just my
personal experience, my contacts that I bring to it that's
causing me to feel revulsion around that. And you're right,
at some point, do I maybe need to check in
(06:22):
on myself and go is this habit of mine to
immediately like run the other way because I find that
personality type repellent. Is that still serving me? Am I
possibly blocking people from my life because I made a
judgment call, maybe with enough context, maybe not, especially those
(06:48):
knee jerk kind of revulsion experiences. If anything else, these
intense emotions are big blaring claxons that oh, you need
to slow down and actually unpack why you just reacted
that intensely. I feel like that's where I land on it.
(07:09):
And again, I think some of this is also age
and life experience speaking as well. I could see maybe
somebody younger, somebody with a little bit less experience that
maybe they experience it more and need the skills that
the three of us have to move through something that
(07:29):
intense quickly, Because that was one thing that stood out
to me, Heather, is even though you experience it, you
move through it very quickly. And I wonder how much
of that is just life experience and maybe age a
little bit. We've been around the sun a few times.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
I think that's certainly part of that. I also feel
it's partially like the things that are I feel revulsion
for are things that I often feel disempowered about like
issues on a scale that I don't feel as an individual,
I have the power to influence and not being able
to do anything in those situation it's just makes me say,
(08:09):
I can't do anything. There's why am I holding this
energy for this emotion. There's nothing that I can do
about it, and I have to just let it go.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
I don't think my feeling of revulsion has matured in
life means more about this, Yeah, no, mine has. Like
when I think of revulsion, I'm like, I'm back to
seeing roadkill or like I have to use a porta
potty and it's really gross. It's like extreme gross for me.
(08:41):
But it's more in the physical world. I haven't evolved
revulsion into larger issues is a childlike feeling for me.
I think that's where it's stuck and I haven't brought
it forward.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
That's interesting. How how would you define the difference between
something that's revolting and a feeling of revulsion? Same thing?
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Yeah, okay, yeah, I have no nuance there.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
It's just that these are things I love it that
I honestly, I feel like I'm a little jaded at
times that the there's so much that just doesn't get
a rise out of me anymore. And I think just
for you, there are still things that get a rise
out of you. That's neither good nor bad. It's just
different things trigger different things for people. Yeah, a port
(09:40):
a potty, that's I have to say, that's really disgusting.
And I avoid the like the play I'm gonna go
for walk thanks until I finder real toilets. So on
this topic though, because whether you touched on it, I
want to deal with it a little bit deeper because
(10:01):
it is an intense emotion. It probably is something that
we don't experience on the regular Say again, what are
some of the things that we can do to process
revulsion when we experience it?
Speaker 4 (10:16):
So shifting your perspective this is again and I think Michelle,
you and I definitely can fall under this category, which
it we will our own very embedded moral beliefs when
things are upsetting our moral center is when we feel
this sense of revulsion. And so this recommendation is to
(10:38):
take a look at the situation and look at can
you put yourself in someone else's shoes? Can you take
the position of an outsider and see if you can
identify what those beliefs are that this feeling is in
opposition to and then a reflection of do you want
to let go of those beliefs? Just because you can
(11:01):
identify this is upsetting my moral compass doesn't mean that
you have to stop feeling that way. It's just an
opportunity for you to stay grounded to what you're feeling
and I'm really feeling this, etc. So that another technique
is reframing, looking at what are the elements outside of
(11:21):
your control and what are the elements that are in
your control? And can you find a positive spin again
for us when you're dealing with moral offenses, I think
you're not going to find a lot of help initially
in a mindfulness technique. I think if you were finding
this in a relationship like a coworker, I think mindfulness
(11:45):
techniques could be really helpful in reframing that relationship. So
in that case, I think these mindful techniques could be
great for me, Like how I experience, I don't think.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
That these would be particularly helpful well, And there's always
the option to just walk away. Sometimes we just need
to turn the TV off and put our minds on
something else. For me, that physical sensation of needing to
escape clicks in for revulsion, and you know what, it's
(12:21):
sometimes a good thing to listen to that signal and
move away, walk away, I agree, avoid the nasty porda body.
Thank you for sharing that, Heather
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Of course, yeah, thank you,
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