February 26, 2024 • 47 mins
Today on Feminine Roadmap we are talking about unleashing your true potential with Alicia Berberich. Alicia is passionate about helping women unleash their true potential so they can become who they were meant to become. Her goal is to help women release the shackles that bind them to their old way of thinking so they can achieve their goals. Alicia encourages listeners to take a tiny step outside of their comfort zones and try something new, see where it may lead. Often we feel that our true potential is some lofty thing but it’s just daily living in alignment with who we are, living the life we want to live in a way that we want to live it. She works to help women recognize their own brilliance and then helps them harness that inner power. We all have strengths and things that we feel confident about, honoring that is a key step to achieving our true potential. When we become grounded in who we are now and begin to connect with that future version of ourselves, then we are moving in the right direction. If you find yourself in a season of shift and are uncertain about what is next, this episode is for you. Please grab a cuppa something wonderful and join us! https://www.aliciaberberich.com/
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(00:02):
Hi, Hi, Jennifer are welcometo the Feminine Roadmap podcast, a global
community of women in midlife. Wegather here weekly over a cup of something
wonderful for real talk, life changingstrategies and a big dose of sisterhood.
Now, please sit back and enjoy. Hello, Feminine road members. Welcome
(00:29):
back to Feminine Roadmap Podcasts, thepodcast that helps you navigate the challenges and
the changes of midlife and empowers youto live a more vibrant second half.
If you find us on YouTube today, please don't forget to subscribe and ring
that bell. If you are ona podcast platform like iTunes or Spotify,
please remember to subscribe, rate,and share this conversation. My guest today
(00:51):
is passionate about helping women unleash theirtrue potential to become the women they are
really meant to be. She helpswomen and release the shackles that hold them
back and allow them to free theirthinking, change their mindset so that they
can achieve their goals. My guesttoday is Alicia Berberich. She is a
motivation and manifesting coach. Alicia,thank you so much for being with me
(01:15):
today. Oh gosh, my pleasure. Thank you for having me I would
love to hear what your mission andmessage is and why you're so passionate about
it. One thing that drives mecrazy is when I meet these wonderful women,
but they play themselves so small.They use small language like just or
(01:37):
maybe or they're always couching everything they'resaying. And I know that they have
huge potential and I can feel fromtheir energy that they're meant for so much
more, but they're holding themselves back. And I really feel like it's time
for women to release those shackles ofthe past that are keeping them playing small
and step into their full game andbe what they're meant to be. That's
(02:00):
why we're working so hard to getmore women on boards, more women seen
out in the world and speaking upfor themselves. Mm hmm. Yeah.
It's interesting, isn't it How wejust naturally have a tendency to minimize and
kind of just reduce our light shine, you know, dim our light just
a little bit. You know.Is that what you're coming across with women
(02:22):
is that undoing that tendency to disappear, Yes, and just making them consciously
aware of how their use of languagefolds them back from being perceived as the
true strength, that they are meantto be, or that they that they
are actually and I just I reallywant them to step into their full potential.
(02:42):
I like that change in languaging speakingof what you were just saying.
Right, it's not who they're meantto be as much as it is they
are meant to be it, butit's already inside right, exactly exactly.
And how do you help women turnand face themselves in this way and begin
to see their actual potential? Well, you know, we're in a mirroring
(03:05):
universe, and so what you putout is what you see back. So
by reflecting back to them what they'reshowing, then they can see and witness
what's happening. And then showing themnew ways to use language to harness their
power and move forward with strength isreally the best thing that I can do.
Women have so much brilliance, butthey just they are not acknowledging it.
(03:28):
And by reflecting back to them theirown brilliance, then they can see
it and step forward into their strengths. Yeah, do you find that a
lot of women in midlife are sensingthat feeling of kind of being lost and
not knowing what's next. I thinkit's a real issue because what happens is
we go to school, we geteducated, we joined the workforce, we
(03:53):
have families, we raise our kids. But then there was, funny,
never a plan for what are wegoing to do after the kids are gone?
Right? Have done that? Andnow what and they drop their kids
off at college or the kids moveout, and all of a sudden,
they're walking around this empty, quiethouse and feeling like, well, now
what am I supposed to do?So things that you know would take them
a lot of time doing the laundryor keeping the house. Now suddenly it's
(04:15):
quiet and they're left with themselves andthey're not sure what to think about or
what to do. So realizing thatit's time to really think about how they
want to direct this third part oftheir life after they've had their kids and
their kids are gone, like whatcan they do? And this is when
they really can step into their potentialbecause we you know, we have to
(04:36):
appropriate, we have to move societyforward. But then now we're become free
and you know, going through menopauseand life changes also releases new energy,
so we have a lot more energyto become our best selves. And by
focusing on what we really want todo. What's the mission that we have,
what is the burning desire inside ofus? That burning desire isn't there
(05:00):
for no reason. You have thatdesire because that's what you're really called into,
and that's your mission here on thisplanet. So figuring out how you
can do that to best serve fromwhere you are right now is really what
I tried, what I've worked tohelp women realize and see because it's it's
kind of a funny thing, butwhen when you're in the midst of the
(05:20):
mess, you can't see the wayout, It's like when you stand in
a jar, you can't read thelabel, but someone from outside the jar
can clearly see the label and cansee the path forward. So I just
help people to see what they alreadyhave themselves, and then help them design
a path forward so that they cando what they're really meant to be doing.
(05:40):
I love the idea of a newchapter, a new season, a
new opportunity. It's so easy whenyou've done something for a long time to
feel as if this is your lifeperiod right, instead of this is your
life now right right, Because that'sI think with a lostness comes from,
because you know you get real embroiledin what your life is offering you in
(06:04):
this moment. And I think it'sreally I was just talking to a friend
yesterday and I was reminding her she'sa little bit behind me in years,
and I just said, you know, it's a season. Just remember this
is a pocket of time. It'snot forever time. I mean, I
guess we could choose depending on howwe look at it, right, but
(06:25):
also with this season, it's likesometimes you're planting and sometimes you're harvesting,
so you have to look at whatyou're ready to do at that time.
One thing that I think is sointeresting is my brother has worked with the
same company for forty years, whichseems like how could he stay with the
same company for forty years? Butwhat's happened is every eighteen months he's forced
(06:46):
to switch his job. He hasto go to a new division, meet
new people, learn all new skills. So even though he's been within the
same boundaries, he's doing it ina different way every eighteen months. And
I think that was really a greatmodel for doing things because he's meeting new
people. It's a huge corporation,he's meeting new people, he's developing new
skills, and even though he's beenthere for forty years, it's still exciting
(07:10):
to him and he's still meeting newchallenges and growing and developing. And for
people who aren't in the structure ofa building that's or a company that's pushing
you to grow this way, ithappens to us naturally, you know,
as our children grow and leave andwe're ready to do the new things,
we get pushed out there. Andspeaking of being pushed out there, it's
(07:31):
like stepping outside of your comfort zoneand a lot of people get really nervous
when they have to do things thatthey haven't done before. But a little
secret is that I always share withmy clients that I think is really great
is you only have to be fourpercent out of your comfort zone, like
one tiny step to learn and growand use new skills. So you think
(07:53):
about, oh, I can't dothat, like I'm not comfortable with doing
something that, It's like, let'sjust take one tiny little step and see
where it leads you, because younever know what opportunities are going to come
up when you try to do somethingnew. So that's something good I think
a good perspective for people to havethat it's just you don't have to change
everything, right, You can justdo one small little thing to move yourself
(08:13):
forward. And by taking one stepforward, you can have a whole new
view of the whole situation, whichis really interesting. Something could have been
blocking you before, but by takingthat small step, you have a whole
new perspective. Yeah. Right,it's one of those like you don't know
to you know, right, right, It's like a blind curve. Right.
(08:35):
It looks like you don't know wherethe road goes. Then you turn
the corner and you realize, oh, there's so much more over here exactly.
Yeah, the opportunity is exciting,and just by trying new things,
it's good. I feel. Ihave worked with clients who've been in the
beginning, They've been so stuck andhaven't seen the potential and the opportunity.
(08:56):
And by showing the mirror on themof what how the outside world perceives them
versus how they're perceiving the outside realworld really helps to open them up to
see what kind of opportunities are availablefor them. So, besides doing the
motivation and manifest coaching, I teachwater aerobics. So I meet a lot
of women who are coming and likethey haven't been exercising, they don't feel
(09:20):
good about their bodies, and nowthey're pushed into a new situation. And
by encouraging them and getting them todo new things and building their strength week
after week in the class, Ican really see how they're blossoming, and
it's it's very exciting. I lovethat. I love that you use the
imagery of a mirror because you know, sometimes you know, it's that thing
(09:41):
where you see yourself in a mirror, you see yourself in the camera.
It's like the opposite of your face. It's your face, but just a
little bit different. And that's hearyour voice. It never sounds like it
sounds to you. It's really strange. Yeah, But I think that's the
beautiful metaphor for what you're talking about. What you're doing for people, it's
(10:01):
getting a different view of ourselves,seeing ourselves differently, thinking about ourselves differently,
hearing what we're saying is I'm surethat mindset is a big part of
what you do, because our languagingis so important to how our life is
directed. Would you agree, Yes, definitely. And that's something else that
(10:22):
I really work with people in overcomingtheir Sabbat tours, and the biggest Sabbat
tour is inside our own head.And that's that negative voice that's playing back
old scripts that you've learned and reallyprevents women from stepping into their big self
because you know, like women ofa certain generation, they're like, you're
supposed to be seen and not heardand keep your opinions to yourself, and
(10:45):
especially with kids when they're in aclassroom situation a male male female classroom situation.
Statistics shows that teachers call on theboys more than they call on the
girls, and it's the boys whoare getting the public offices and the boys
who are getting the front row seats, and really for women to realize that
(11:05):
it doesn't have to be that way. I sent my kids to an all
girls school because I want them tosee that all of the leaders are women
and everybody talking is females. Solike, you know, you can be
whatever you want to be, youjust have to decide and do that.
So I was happy that we hada good school like that in our area.
But just learning to overcome the voicein your head and realizing that that
(11:26):
voice in your head is not you, it's just a small little part of
you. And you need to acknowledgethat part of you it was originally the
voice were originally formulated between when youwere zero and five, or even could
have happened prenatally. I don't reallyknow about that part, but that's how
it happens in my mind, butthat the voice is listening to these other
(11:50):
people talk to them. Like forinstance, if you're a mom and you
tell your child don't cross the street, and then she thinks, Okay,
don't cross the street. And themom is telling their child that out of
safety for a concern for them,but the child heres, don't cross the
street. But then she looks andsees other people crossing the street and thinks,
well, how come other people cancross the street but I can't cross
the street, Like what's wrong withme that I can't cross the street.
(12:13):
And then they take this information ofI'm not good enough to cross the street,
and then they generalize it to otherparts of their life. Oh,
I'm not good enough to take secondhelpings, or I'm not good enough to
walk the dog, or whatever itis that they're doing. They think they
take something that was specifically meant forsafety and turn it around so it becomes
interpreted in their mind as something different, and that's where women are met men
(12:37):
too, just as much. Butthey get this voice in their head that
saying I'm not good enough, orI can't do that, or I'll always
be alone or whatever. The negativevoice is talking to them and berating them.
So learning to hear the voice andrealizing, oh, that's just a
part of me, and then bybecoming aware of it, then you can
deal with it for what it is. So once you're aware of this voice
(13:00):
in your head, you can acknowledgeit. Because the voice is there was
originally developed out of a safety instinctto keep you safe. So just acknowledging
it, oh, I hear you. I understand you're trying to keep me
safe, and then appreciating it reallyjust smothering that voice with love, loving
kindness to say, you know,I know you're trying to keep me safe.
I really appreciate it, but youdon't have to worry. I've got
(13:22):
this now, I can handle it. But I really appreciate that you're on
my side. And let's move forwardtogether so that they can really learn to
work together and get this voice intheir head to be positive and on their
side. But that loving kindness elementreally helps to move them forward. Yeah,
you know, I had a conversation. I taught a leadership kind of
(13:43):
a leadership program to the chamber inmy city, and I had a conversation.
One of the women was asking themen. We had a I guess
you would call it a field trip. We went to like a chamber meeting
or something like that. In anyway, the woman said to the man about
more women being in leadership. AndI had a conversation with her and I
(14:05):
said, you know, we're askingmen about why aren't more women in leadership.
My premise is more women need tostep up and ask for it.
It's not like the men have amagic wand and they're just like, you're
a leader, and you're a leader, you're a leader. I mean,
they have some influence. But inthat moment, I remember thinking, I
(14:26):
think we're asking the wrong question.Yeah, yeah, that's still I'm not
I don't have the power. Wedon't have the power. You have the
power, and so we're asking permission. Why aren't you letting us in?
And sometimes I think that is avalid struggle. But it's true in a
women's group too. I mean,it's not strictly male versus female. But
(14:48):
in what you're talking about in myhead at that moment, I kind of
had a paradigm shift. Okay,wait, if you see a need as
a woman, ask for that seat, ask yourself, you know what I
mean, step into it and godo I want that seat? Don't ask
someone else if you can have it. Let's say do I want that yeah?
Or can do you know someone whowould be a good fit for that
(15:09):
seat? Instead of why aren't theremore women? Well, because we're asking
the wrong questions is kind of whatcame into my mind, right. And
it's interesting, like when you lookat the research of women applying for jobs.
When a woman applies for a job, she needs to be able to
do ninety five percent of the skillsthat are qualified for a job, whereas
the man only has to do aboutforty percent. He's like, I can
(15:33):
I can do this, I cando it. But the woman has to
know that she's capable of doing everystep of the way in her mind.
Is what you're saying in her mindright, right, So that's interesting.
And if a woman has like amentor who can push them to do it,
that's helpful. But I think mostwomen don't have that. They need
to have their own internal confidence thatthey can do it. And that's really
(15:54):
a good reason to work with acoach because they can see your capabilities and
push you to do these things,help get you outside of your comfort zone
to do that sort of thing.Yes, it's it's important to your point
to have a mirror. Yeah,you know, to see your true self.
A lot of people look at themirror and they don't see what's actually
(16:15):
being reflected back. They see theirperception of what's being showed back. I
have a daughter in college and she'sin this entrepreneurship program and they had to
each person had to stand up andsay what their idea is for a company
and then see if anybody would followthem in that business. So she presented
(16:36):
her idea and everyone in class lovedit, and the majority of the class
stood behind her like they really wantedto be a part of their team.
And then this one guy said,yeah, it's a great idea I want
to do. I want to beon this team, except I need to
be the CEO because I have moreexperience than anyone in here. I mean,
he's twenty one, my daughter's twentythree. He's like, I've got
more experience here, I've done thisbefore and I can do this. And
(16:59):
my daughter's like thinking, like,this is my idea, this is my
company. I should be the CEO. I mean, it's just it's for
a school class. But finally shesaid, all right, well, what
we're gonna do is we're gonna putit up for a vote and we're all
going to vote and see who's gonnabe the leader. And they did vote
for her because she was presenting it. But just that the fact that these
guys would have the kahunas to say, oh, yeah, that you have
(17:21):
a great idea, I'm gonna suckit. I'm gonna take it myself and
i'm gonna drive this like no,like you're stepping outside of what's right and
acceptable. So and but my daughterwould have led him, except that she
decided we're going to take a voteand heard the people voted for her.
So it's like being able to stepup for ourself and believe in ourselves and
(17:41):
push for ourselves beyond. Like she'snever been a CEO. She doesn't know.
He said he has some experience.I mean, what experience does he
app he's twenty one like, comeon, it's the it's the pauses that
I think there's power in, youknow, like having a moment to stop
think, not not reacting or respondingimmediately, and having things that you can
(18:04):
say like, oh that's interesting,Yes, I really appreciate your input.
You know, those horrible things wehear, you know, we just need
to pick them up and hand themright back because sometimes that it may be
true. And let's just let's playwith this idea. What if it is
true that this other person has moreexperience? Chances are he does not,
(18:30):
but he's just being a difficult personality. But what if what if they do
have more experience? Is the obviousanswer, then I can't do it right?
Or that he should do it right. I think we need to Those
are the points of question and pausewhere it's like yeah, yeah, who
(18:52):
says And I'd like to know becausewe all have these like ideas of how
things should be to your point,right, Oh I can't that doesn't apply
to me, but it applies tothem. And what is it that makes
us believe we're outside of the potentialor the possibility for this opportunity right and
maybe changing the way that we thinkit starts with, well, that's interesting
(19:18):
to ourselves, it's interesting. Whatmade you say that? You know,
where's the proof in this belief?If you will? And just because someone
else might have more experience, well, I mean that's great that you have
the experience. I want the experiencetoo, and this is my opportunity to
step up. Yes, it doesnot mean I don't get a chance.
(19:41):
Yeah, And experience is relative.You know, we as women don't understand
I feel, how much skill andexperience we have a mass As women who
shop, we know where what storesto This may not seem important, but
we have a map of the cityin our head and how to route to
(20:03):
shop and where to get the bestproduce, and how to maneuver a difficult
teacher or a difficult situation at work, or you know what I mean.
Like, we have developed how toget a three year old to do what
they don't want to do, andyou might be the only one. So
these are these skills. Maybe they'reconsidered soft skills, Maybe they're just harder
to put on paper button. Ifeel like yeah, but if we could
(20:27):
learn to take those skills and putthe right words to it, think of
all the skill set, volume ofskill set that women have just from being
women in the home alone. Let'sjust start there and then you start moving
out to all the other things thatwomen do. Yeah. Yeah, So
is there a moment when you're helpingwomen where you can see the light bulb
(20:49):
go on? And what is itthat helps women wake up to this potential?
Yeah, it's and that is suchan exciting moment when I'm working with
some and I can see the shiftin their minds that I can see that,
oh, the paradigm shift has hithome, because then they realize,
oh, I have the capability todo this. I can do this,
(21:10):
and even if I don't have theskills right this moment, it's like Marie
Fourlio says, everything is figure outableand they can figure it out, like
women are amazing problem solvers and gettingbig things to happen with few financial resources.
Like women get amazing things done andare great at raising money. And
it's really exciting when you see theperson realize that, oh they can do
(21:34):
this and they can get it done. So and that was what was so
exciting for me with my daughter tosee like she heard what he was saying
and you know, figured out alogical way to handle it and then it
came to resolution. So that wasthat was exciting to see the capability her
own capability in that. And it'sjust like that with my clients when they
(21:55):
see how capable they are and howthey can make things happen. It's it's
really energizing. I think sometimes we'rethinking too far, too big, meaning
like we have to have all ofthat and be all of that right this
minute, right right, instead ofone recognizing who we are and what we
(22:15):
offer, and then the flexibility oflearning. I mean, from eighteen to
forty eight, how much life havewe lived? Well, if you go
from forty eight to seventy eight,that's another lifetime. Yeah. So if
we did all of that this thirtyyears, why couldn't we fill this thirty
years? Yeah? Exponentially? Hm, because we're building on something right,
(22:37):
Yeah, it's an add on thatwas all winging in at the beginning.
One of the things that doctor benHardy he wrote a book Who Not How,
And I think that's something important forwomen too. It's like you don't
have to do everything yourself, youjust have to know how to get it
done and finding the right people thatcan make it happen. So being the
solutions finder instead of the actual door don't get stuck in the weeds and
(23:00):
doing it, but look at howcan you just get it done? I
think is a good perspective for themto see as well. And I think
we do have that natural tendency towardcommunity and collaboration as women, right right,
which gives us that not just thesolution finding, but being able to
see the picture of how the piecescome together, you know, and understanding
(23:25):
how much better we are together sometimes, right, you know, But as
women, I feel like the deferencethat we talked about early on how we
step aside, you know, andit's such a natural like your daughter was
tempted to step aside because she wasn'tin that moment realizing oh someone could come
in and just be like move outof the way, right right, game
(23:48):
plan? Yeah. Yeah. Sowhen women are finding their sea legs,
you know, they've been out onthis lifetime on this boat and they hit
the land of midlife and they're tryingto find their stability. What are some
of the ways that you help womenget their legs back underneath them so that
they feel confident and are ready tomove in a new direction. Yes,
(24:11):
and thank you for asking that question, because that's something I really focus on
when I'm doing my Phoenix Planed coachingprogram. Is we work with the getting
the foundations securely in place, andthe primary thing that I really want women
to have is sound foundation. Isare their core are their core values?
Really being able to identify and listtheir core values and what's really important for
(24:33):
them. And it's important to knowthe difference between your core values, which
are with you your whole life andjust when people think of you, those
are the things they think of,versus your aspirational values, what are the
things you want to be like?So for me, my core values are
connection, lifetime learning, and curiosity. It's just like I've always been connecting
people and I'm always curious and Ilove learning. It's it's part of who
(24:56):
I am at the core. Andthen like, oh, I another value
is organization, but that's something Ialways aspired to when I have to work
on every day. It's not naturallya part of me, but it's something
I work on. So the firstthing we do is establish their core values
so that they're really connected with that, and then whenever they're making decisions,
they go back to those core valuesto make sure they're aligned with what their
(25:19):
decisions is the decisions are. Andthen the second thing I really work on
with them is to understand their strengths. So we do a lot of different
exercises where we can really pull outtheir strengths so that they can see how
they've been using their strainths in theaction. And the exercise I do that's
really helpful for women is to lookat during the different decades of their life,
(25:41):
what are things that they've done thatthey're most proud of, And then
I have outsiders hear them tell thosestories and then reflect back, Oh,
I can see that you're really goodat building connections with people, because that's
what you did in your example,taking their stories and really pulling out the
strains and then feeding it back tothem so they can hear it and acknowledge
(26:02):
it. And we do it onlittle sticky notepads. So then by the
end of the exercise they have thiswhole board of all their straints listed out
for them, so that they canreally bathe in the beauty of everything they
have to offer and feel those strengthsand it really nourishes them at the core.
So those are the main ways.I really work at them feeling grounded
(26:26):
in who they are. And thenthe third exercise that we do is really
focusing on their future self so theycan connect with not who they are right
now today, but who do theywant to be? And then what is
the process to get there? Andsee what their future strength has and then
live to that each day and makeyour decisions from that future self perspective.
(26:47):
I really that got homed in onme when Matthew McConaughey, he was talking
about the future self and he looksto hisself ten years out. Whenever he's
making any decisions, he looks tohis future self. And I was like,
well, that's really working well forhim, and I think it works
well. I've really been working withmy clients to really focus on their future
self to help make all their decisionmaking process easier. So those are the
(27:10):
fine foundational things that I do toreally help them with their move forward and
stepping into who they want to be. It's a beautiful process of extraction.
You know, you're not creating something, You're just extracting, right, all
the answers. We just have toget it out from ourselves into the world.
M h you know what's interesting.I think when I mentioned the idea
(27:33):
of seasons, I think one ofthe beauties of this season of life,
of midlife, this new horizon thatwe face, is we don't have to
do what we used to do.We take the skill set and we can
try something different. Because there's differentpeople in my life who some people are
(27:55):
happy to just continue on the paththat they're on, like they don't really
want to change direction, and that'sfine. And then there's people like myself
that are like, Okay, Ifinish that, and now what you know,
I don't. You know, mylife has not allowed me at this
moment to have grandchildren and have thethings that a lot of my friends,
(28:17):
you know, they have grandchildren thatare taking their attention in another direction.
Well, I don't have that.So I have this gift of what's the
best way that I can serve theworld around me and find that kind of
fulfillment in the gifts and abilities Ihave. And I feel like, you
know, what you're doing is helpingwomen recognize how they can bloom in this.
(28:38):
You know, what we've done iswonderful. I'm not miss I'm not
putting any like now it's your turn. All of that didn't matter. It's
more like an expansion of who youare. That's what I'm hearing you say,
right right, So you can havea full bouquet instead of just a
you know, individual flowers, youcan have the full blessings of life in
(29:00):
all of its vibrancy and colors.So oh, I love that. That
was a beautiful way to describe it. Yeah, it's like we're building the
bouquet as we go, are weright? Right? Exactly exactly, So
figuring out what are the things thatyou want to add that's going to make
your bouquet, that make your lifecome together as a beautiful bouquet I see
(29:22):
so much in other women. Youagree, Like, you see a woman
and your mind is like wow,you feel her energy, you see something
about her that just makes you impressedor drawn to her. Yes, And
I think it's really important for usto recognize that we have that same right
exactly. I remember there was anactivity that I've done a couple of times
(29:42):
where you choose ten people fairly closeto you, friends and colleagues, and
you ask them the five things thatcome to mind when they think of you.
You know, what qualities do yousee or do you think of when
you see me and it's really ENLiGHTyou can see patterns, you know,
(30:03):
you can see Oh to your point, how does the world see me?
Well, I assume the world seesme the way I see me, but
that's not always the case. Theworld is looking at me through their own
eyes, their own paradigms, righttheir own experiences, and a lot of
the times that puzzle of how they'reseeing me is actually they can see it
(30:25):
clearer because maybe they need that partof me, like that's it's connecting to
them as what I'm trying to say, not in an unhealthy way, but
you know, so it's kind ofa cool exercise to Obviously, I always
have this caveat choose the healthier peopleyou know in your life. But it
is interesting to see what other peoplethink. And sometimes, if I may
(30:48):
put forward, we may know deepdown, but we're afraid to admit it
because it feels wrong to elevate ourselvesin our own mind. Do you find
that women resist almost like oh,I shouldn't do that, or I don't
know how to handle that kind ofconfidence elevation expansion in my life. Do
you find that that's something else thatneeds to be navigated. Yeah, and
I reflect back to them, well, if you did know, then what
(31:11):
would that look like? Because reallythey do know, but they don't they
can't bring it forth. But whenI reflect it back to them and ask
them sort of in a little differentway than they're able to see it.
One thing that happened this week,and I was leading a workshop in planning
for twenty twenty four and I hadeach woman turned to the woman on her
(31:33):
right. We went down person byperson and say, what do you see
as the greatest strength in the personsitting next to you? So and this
was They've only been sitting there,We've been interacting for an hour, but
they were able to pull out somany different qualities that the other person was
like, oh, thank you somuch for recognizing that in me, That
their strainths were recognizable to people evenin that short period of time, they
(31:56):
were really seen and witnessed by theother person. And how quickly that happened.
So that was a real eye openerfor all of them too. And
there's just something precious about the opportunity, the permission to bless another person with
what we admire in them. Yeah, you know that the exercise that you're
(32:20):
talking about could be very uncomfortable forsome people, but it's like that good
kind of uncomfortable. Yeah, exactlywhere. Now, tell me a little
bit about your own journey, andyou know, how did you get to
this place where you know, obviouslythere's a backstory somewhere that kind of was
(32:43):
the impetus to this for you.Well, I got into this because when
I had my own daughters, Iwanted their life to be different. I
didn't want them to have to gothrough the struggles that I went through.
And I have a difficult relationship withmy mother, or I grew up with
a difficult relationship with my mother,and I wanted to have a stronger,
(33:05):
better relationship with my daughter. Sothen I decide, all right, I'm
going to go to coaching school tolearn how to help people to blossom so
that I can use that those techniqueson my own kids to help them blossom.
So that was my start of thejourney, and I really enjoyed that,
and I enjoyed working with people thatin that way, and I love
public speaking, giving workshops and seminars, so I focus on doing that and
(33:30):
have a core group of women thathave been following me for a long time,
and it's been really fun, andI think it's really helped been really
interesting in the journey to see backbecause now my daughters are graduating from college
and they both want to be coachesand help people to grow the best that
they can be because they've heard metalking about it for so long. So
I feel very fulfilled with that.So I'm excited about that. But I
(33:53):
love helping women become the best thatthey can be and see that. So
isn't it interesting we often move ina direction guided by something that's missing for
us exactly. Yeah, yeah,we see, And isn't that kind of
(34:15):
the normal path to take, lookingfor the opportunity, the thing that's needed
and creating and creating what's needed inthat space. I think as women,
back to what I said before thegardening that you were talking about the bouquet,
that's really what you do, isyou till that soil until you break
(34:37):
kind of through that dry, crustysurface of either dormancy or complacency or resignation.
And I feel like we all havethose moments right there's this ebb and
flow to our emotional experience in thelife that we're living and I love that,
you know, the reflective properties thatyou offer people to really look at
(35:00):
their life and think about it andto glean right, to take out the
big rocks look for the things thatreally are moving them forward is such a
beautiful thing. Yeah, yeah,thank you. One of the things I
really like to advise my clients isthat to really be conscious of the people
they hang around with. And it'ssomething I've told my kids from day one.
(35:20):
You become like the five people youhang out with. And so if
you're hanging out with people who havenegative energy or are you know, pointing
out your flaws all the time,that's really going to impact you. So,
even whether it's friends or family,be really conscious of who you're spending
your time with and how the messagesthat they're putting out are impacting you.
Like even just something simple like watchingthe news that's more more of an environmental
(35:44):
thing. But the news is sonegative and repeats itself, and it's a
vicious cycle that goes on and thenyou have these negative things playing in your
mind. So I don't even watchthe news anymore because I get too upset.
So I really try to focus onpositive things and hang out with people
who can see the best in situationsand are really have a really good mindset
(36:07):
that I would like to exemplify,So being really careful where you invest your
energy and whose energy is being absorbedinto your system. So that really makes
a big difference for people. Youmentioned a difficult relationship with your mom.
It's interesting how much that tape playsin our minds and the decisions that we
(36:30):
make as women, isn't it thoseearly foundational ideas, believes mindsets, you
know, we do if the wayyou've shown up for your daughters, trying
to be the better version, youknow, moving that needle forward so that
the experience your daughters have is differentand better than the experience that you had.
(36:53):
I feel like that's the beauty ofthe life that we have. We
have this opportunity to grow the resilience. Right, you are not what you
were. You can choose to navigateto clean, clearer, smoother waters as
much as you can in terms ofthe way that we think. But you
(37:15):
talked about this self talk called tinybit, and let's talk a little bit
about in your experience where people canbegin to identify that self talk and kind
of put it in its right place. Just becoming conscious of that voice in
(37:36):
your head, that negative self talk, is a huge step forward, because
too often it's playing and sometimes likewhat I try to listen to what other
people are saying, and they'll saysomething like, oh my god, that
was so stupid, how could Ido that? And then I'll reflect that
back to them, Oh, doyou know what you just said to yourself?
Because they're not even aware of it, and they're not they say things
to themselves that they would never sayto their friend or their child, like
(38:00):
it's so cruel, and yet wedo it all the time. It's on
repeat in our brain. So justbecoming aware of that self talk is going
to make a difference. And thenturning it around is like, okay,
how can I let's let's reframe that, what's really going on here? And
what can I do differently about thisso that I'm not, you know,
murdering myself all the time with thisnegative self talk. That's a great analogy.
(38:22):
Really we are. We are murderingwhere we're hacking ourselves to pieces mentally
so often, yeah, yeah,and stopping that is so important. One
of the things that really helps fitsfrom Carol Dwex's book on mindset growth versus
fixed mindset, but just throwing inthat little three letter word on the end
(38:44):
of you saying like, oh,I'm so miserable at this, and then
you just throw in yet or I'mso miserab about this. Well I'm so
vich about it now. But youcan do things differently. But adding yet
to when you have something I can'tdo this yet just makes it possible and
creates the opportunity for growth and learning, and that really makes a big difference.
(39:07):
So yeah, it's a powerful Itseems so little, right, It
really does tell the brain to lookelsewhere, right, that there's a possibility
for something different. Mmm mmmmm.That was a good book. I really
liked that book. Yeah. Yeah. I think that we as women,
(39:28):
we're like water. We just flowthrough life and we fill the gaps and
we're doing what needs to be done, and we're intuitively often just showing up.
And I think what we're asking themto do in this season of life
is to become aware of that intuitiveness, put a name to it, and,
for lack of a better term,in my mind, intentionally apply it.
(39:52):
It's not like we haven't had intentionbut it's been more intuitive and less
intention in a lot of ways,would you agree, yes? And also
our intentions have been like in thepast, we're so busy doing, doing,
doing, and we don't have timefor the being and just to be
with yourself and to think about whatyou want to do for you as opposed
(40:14):
to taking care of everybody else andthinking about Okay, so now I have
twenty five years, how do Iwant to change? What do I want
to see different in the world?Where can I contribute? And I really
like to encourage my clients to thinkabout how they can be of service to
the world. What is it thatthe world is hungry for that only you
(40:34):
can deliver? Because they each havevery special talents that only they can give
to the world, and the worldis waiting for them, even though they
don't realize it. The world ishungry for what they have to serve to
what they have to give, andthey just by showing up as themselves with
what they have, they're perfect asthey are to deliver the need that the
(40:54):
world has. Yeah, yeah,it in my mind as you're talking,
I picture you know. Life islike it's like a map, you know,
you come to a cross in theroad and you have a choice to
make right which way am I goingto go? And I think we worry
about the rest of the map whenreally it's just right now, right exactly.
(41:20):
I think it's really a beautiful thingto take what a woman is,
any woman, and shine a lighton who on the beauty that she brings
to the world. And I feellike removing that pressure of knowing, Okay,
I'm at the end of the road, is it right or wrong?
Because sometimes it's not obvious right thechoices that we're making. It's either or
it's not life shattering if you chooseone and not the other. I think
(41:45):
for me sometimes it's like what ifwhat if I just took this road,
and what if it doesn't work out? That's okay. I feel like we
need to give ourselves permission to investigatea little bit and experiment a little bit
with things, because I have foundI don't know about you, but I
have found that I've tried all kindsof things and sometimes I like them for
(42:06):
a while, but it's not thething I want to do forever, and
that's okay. And I think thatmight be a helpful thing is to recognize
this isn't like a marble statue andyou have no other choice. This choice
is going to lock you in forever, right, because it kind of does
feel like a big decision in midlifefor a lot of women that I've talked
to. Yeah, yeah, butbeing able to you know, it's like
(42:28):
walking through Costco. You taste thisone, you taste that one. You
don't have to buy it. You'rejust trying it out to see if you
like it. Yes, Oh,you go to the shoe store. You
don't just buy the first pair youtry on. You need to try the
different ones and see what's going towork with what you have. And it's
a mix and match seeing. AndI think a lot of women get stuck
because they feel like they have tohave the answer before they start the journey,
(42:49):
like you have to have your destination. But sometimes it's just you got
to take the back roads to getto where you got to go and just
taking the next step. Worry aboutjust the next step in front of you,
what feels good for right now,and try that out and see where
it leaves. Like you said,you know, every corner that you turn,
you see a different view and youhave different knowledge about yourself and the
environment and what's going on. Soyou know, it's not a color by
(43:14):
numbers. You're just trying different thingsand seeing how it works. There's no
set way of what you have todo and how you have to do it.
But it's just so important to getout and try the different things and
see what's going to happen and not. What you have is you here in
the present, looking forward and justletting go of the shackles from the past
(43:35):
that have held you into these oldways of thinking and being in the world.
That is what was. We don'tneed to hold onto that anymore.
We can let go of that andlook forward to see what is it that
we want to do going forward.And I think as you're talking, one
of the things that popped into myhead is you have to trust that you're
growing as you're doing these things.So when you think I don't know that
(43:57):
yet or I'm not ready for thatyet, well you don't know how much
much more knowledgeable and experience you'll bewhen you hit that fork in the road.
You don't have to have it now, right, You're building. We're
constantly building that resume, right right. Yeah, So tell me, Alicia,
if you had to give the listenersthree things to kind of anchor in
on what three gifts would you liketo give them today? The three gifts
(44:20):
I would like to give them isto really focus on what they do want
and thinking about what they do wantand moving forward, and especially when with
the using this tool of manifesting,which we didn't really talk about today,
but in terms of manifesting, youwant to really focus on what you do
want and move in that direction.And the second thing is to take small
(44:42):
steps forward. You don't have tosee or understand the destination right away,
just to take small steps going forward. And the third thing is to really
pay attention to that voice in yourhead so that you can develop to have
a develop a conversation that's positive andsupportive as opposed to something that's tearing you
down or creating limitations for you.Pay attention to hear the voice and respond
(45:07):
to it in with loving kindness.So good, Alicia. How can people
get a hold of you and yourresources? I have a website, It's
my name Alisha Birberge dot com andthere's lots of available resources there. I'm
also on Instagram pretty regularly and Ihave a there's a like what they always
(45:28):
say, a link in the biowhere they can find more resources for me.
And I'm also on LinkedIn, soI'm around out there they'll be able
to find me. Awesome. Well, I want to thank you so much
for being on the show today.I want to thank you for sharing your
passion and your deep care for womenand your desire to help shine light on
(45:51):
the beauty that they are, tohelp them become that full bokat to your
own analogy. I want to thankyou and honor the journey that you're on
to not only grow yourself and yourdaughters, but you've taken that out and
you are having that impact on otherwomen, and I just really honor that
journey and thank you for doing whatyou do. Oh, thank you so
much. I really appreciate it.It's been a joy and a pleasure to
(46:12):
be here. Wonderful. Thank youfriends today. If you are on YouTube,
just look down below. The linkswill be right there for Alicia,
so you don't have to go anywhereif you happen to be driving. You
can also head over to www.Dot Feminine roadmap dot com. Forward Slash
episode three five nine. This isone of those conversations that we have over
(46:36):
and over in different ways and Ithink it's important for us to hear different
perspectives on a similar topic because weall have a voice, and we have
a message that someone will hear andthey need to hear it from us.
And so think about what it isthat is stirring in your spirit and hold
(46:58):
a space for it. Don't questionit, don't push it away. You
know, in this season of midlife, there's so much life that we've brought
to this point. Alicia has somegreat strategies that if you just take the
strategies that she shared and apply those, see where it leads again to her
point, you don't have to haveall of the answers now, just take
(47:19):
your next best step. And ofcourse if you need support, you need
that mirror. Remember that those resourcesare available to you in the links down
below or at www dot Feminine roadmapdot com for Slash episode three five nine.
Thank you so much, friends forbeing with us today. I look
forward to sharing more inspirational people's strategiesand stories with you in the weeks to
(47:44):
come. Take care of my friends. Bye bye,
Hi, Hi, Jennifer are welcometo the Feminine Roadmap podcast, a global
community of women in midlife. Wegather here weekly over a cup of something
wonderful for real talk, life changingstrategies and a big dose of sisterhood.
Now, please sit back and enjoy. Hello, Feminine road members. Welcome
(00:29):
back to Feminine Roadmap Podcasts, thepodcast that helps you navigate the challenges and
the changes of midlife and empowers youto live a more vibrant second half.
If you find us on YouTube today, please don't forget to subscribe and ring
that bell. If you are ona podcast platform like iTunes or Spotify,
please remember to subscribe, rate,and share this conversation. My guest today
(00:51):
is passionate about helping women unleash theirtrue potential to become the women they are
really meant to be. She helpswomen and release the shackles that hold them
back and allow them to free theirthinking, change their mindset so that they
can achieve their goals. My guesttoday is Alicia Berberich. She is a
motivation and manifesting coach. Alicia,thank you so much for being with me
(01:15):
today. Oh gosh, my pleasure. Thank you for having me I would
love to hear what your mission andmessage is and why you're so passionate about
it. One thing that drives mecrazy is when I meet these wonderful women,
but they play themselves so small.They use small language like just or
(01:37):
maybe or they're always couching everything they'resaying. And I know that they have
huge potential and I can feel fromtheir energy that they're meant for so much
more, but they're holding themselves back. And I really feel like it's time
for women to release those shackles ofthe past that are keeping them playing small
and step into their full game andbe what they're meant to be. That's
(02:00):
why we're working so hard to getmore women on boards, more women seen
out in the world and speaking upfor themselves. Mm hmm. Yeah.
It's interesting, isn't it How wejust naturally have a tendency to minimize and
kind of just reduce our light shine, you know, dim our light just
a little bit. You know.Is that what you're coming across with women
(02:22):
is that undoing that tendency to disappear, Yes, and just making them consciously
aware of how their use of languagefolds them back from being perceived as the
true strength, that they are meantto be, or that they that they
are actually and I just I reallywant them to step into their full potential.
(02:42):
I like that change in languaging speakingof what you were just saying.
Right, it's not who they're meantto be as much as it is they
are meant to be it, butit's already inside right, exactly exactly.
And how do you help women turnand face themselves in this way and begin
to see their actual potential? Well, you know, we're in a mirroring
(03:05):
universe, and so what you putout is what you see back. So
by reflecting back to them what they'reshowing, then they can see and witness
what's happening. And then showing themnew ways to use language to harness their
power and move forward with strength isreally the best thing that I can do.
Women have so much brilliance, butthey just they are not acknowledging it.
(03:28):
And by reflecting back to them theirown brilliance, then they can see
it and step forward into their strengths. Yeah, do you find that a
lot of women in midlife are sensingthat feeling of kind of being lost and
not knowing what's next. I thinkit's a real issue because what happens is
we go to school, we geteducated, we joined the workforce, we
(03:53):
have families, we raise our kids. But then there was, funny,
never a plan for what are wegoing to do after the kids are gone?
Right? Have done that? Andnow what and they drop their kids
off at college or the kids moveout, and all of a sudden,
they're walking around this empty, quiethouse and feeling like, well, now
what am I supposed to do?So things that you know would take them
a lot of time doing the laundryor keeping the house. Now suddenly it's
(04:15):
quiet and they're left with themselves andthey're not sure what to think about or
what to do. So realizing thatit's time to really think about how they
want to direct this third part oftheir life after they've had their kids and
their kids are gone, like whatcan they do? And this is when
they really can step into their potentialbecause we you know, we have to
(04:36):
appropriate, we have to move societyforward. But then now we're become free
and you know, going through menopauseand life changes also releases new energy,
so we have a lot more energyto become our best selves. And by
focusing on what we really want todo. What's the mission that we have,
what is the burning desire inside ofus? That burning desire isn't there
(05:00):
for no reason. You have thatdesire because that's what you're really called into,
and that's your mission here on thisplanet. So figuring out how you
can do that to best serve fromwhere you are right now is really what
I tried, what I've worked tohelp women realize and see because it's it's
kind of a funny thing, butwhen when you're in the midst of the
(05:20):
mess, you can't see the wayout, It's like when you stand in
a jar, you can't read thelabel, but someone from outside the jar
can clearly see the label and cansee the path forward. So I just
help people to see what they alreadyhave themselves, and then help them design
a path forward so that they cando what they're really meant to be doing.
(05:40):
I love the idea of a newchapter, a new season, a
new opportunity. It's so easy whenyou've done something for a long time to
feel as if this is your lifeperiod right, instead of this is your
life now right right, Because that'sI think with a lostness comes from,
because you know you get real embroiledin what your life is offering you in
(06:04):
this moment. And I think it'sreally I was just talking to a friend
yesterday and I was reminding her she'sa little bit behind me in years,
and I just said, you know, it's a season. Just remember this
is a pocket of time. It'snot forever time. I mean, I
guess we could choose depending on howwe look at it, right, but
(06:25):
also with this season, it's likesometimes you're planting and sometimes you're harvesting,
so you have to look at whatyou're ready to do at that time.
One thing that I think is sointeresting is my brother has worked with the
same company for forty years, whichseems like how could he stay with the
same company for forty years? Butwhat's happened is every eighteen months he's forced
(06:46):
to switch his job. He hasto go to a new division, meet
new people, learn all new skills. So even though he's been within the
same boundaries, he's doing it ina different way every eighteen months. And
I think that was really a greatmodel for doing things because he's meeting new
people. It's a huge corporation,he's meeting new people, he's developing new
skills, and even though he's beenthere for forty years, it's still exciting
(07:10):
to him and he's still meeting newchallenges and growing and developing. And for
people who aren't in the structure ofa building that's or a company that's pushing
you to grow this way, ithappens to us naturally, you know,
as our children grow and leave andwe're ready to do the new things,
we get pushed out there. Andspeaking of being pushed out there, it's
(07:31):
like stepping outside of your comfort zoneand a lot of people get really nervous
when they have to do things thatthey haven't done before. But a little
secret is that I always share withmy clients that I think is really great
is you only have to be fourpercent out of your comfort zone, like
one tiny step to learn and growand use new skills. So you think
(07:53):
about, oh, I can't dothat, like I'm not comfortable with doing
something that, It's like, let'sjust take one tiny little step and see
where it leads you, because younever know what opportunities are going to come
up when you try to do somethingnew. So that's something good I think
a good perspective for people to havethat it's just you don't have to change
everything, right, You can justdo one small little thing to move yourself
(08:13):
forward. And by taking one stepforward, you can have a whole new
view of the whole situation, whichis really interesting. Something could have been
blocking you before, but by takingthat small step, you have a whole
new perspective. Yeah. Right,it's one of those like you don't know
to you know, right, right, It's like a blind curve. Right.
(08:35):
It looks like you don't know wherethe road goes. Then you turn
the corner and you realize, oh, there's so much more over here exactly.
Yeah, the opportunity is exciting,and just by trying new things,
it's good. I feel. Ihave worked with clients who've been in the
beginning, They've been so stuck andhaven't seen the potential and the opportunity.
(08:56):
And by showing the mirror on themof what how the outside world perceives them
versus how they're perceiving the outside realworld really helps to open them up to
see what kind of opportunities are availablefor them. So, besides doing the
motivation and manifest coaching, I teachwater aerobics. So I meet a lot
of women who are coming and likethey haven't been exercising, they don't feel
(09:20):
good about their bodies, and nowthey're pushed into a new situation. And
by encouraging them and getting them todo new things and building their strength week
after week in the class, Ican really see how they're blossoming, and
it's it's very exciting. I lovethat. I love that you use the
imagery of a mirror because you know, sometimes you know, it's that thing
(09:41):
where you see yourself in a mirror, you see yourself in the camera.
It's like the opposite of your face. It's your face, but just a
little bit different. And that's hearyour voice. It never sounds like it
sounds to you. It's really strange. Yeah, But I think that's the
beautiful metaphor for what you're talking about. What you're doing for people, it's
(10:01):
getting a different view of ourselves,seeing ourselves differently, thinking about ourselves differently,
hearing what we're saying is I'm surethat mindset is a big part of
what you do, because our languagingis so important to how our life is
directed. Would you agree, Yes, definitely. And that's something else that
(10:22):
I really work with people in overcomingtheir Sabbat tours, and the biggest Sabbat
tour is inside our own head.And that's that negative voice that's playing back
old scripts that you've learned and reallyprevents women from stepping into their big self
because you know, like women ofa certain generation, they're like, you're
supposed to be seen and not heardand keep your opinions to yourself, and
(10:45):
especially with kids when they're in aclassroom situation a male male female classroom situation.
Statistics shows that teachers call on theboys more than they call on the
girls, and it's the boys whoare getting the public offices and the boys
who are getting the front row seats, and really for women to realize that
(11:05):
it doesn't have to be that way. I sent my kids to an all
girls school because I want them tosee that all of the leaders are women
and everybody talking is females. Solike, you know, you can be
whatever you want to be, youjust have to decide and do that.
So I was happy that we hada good school like that in our area.
But just learning to overcome the voicein your head and realizing that that
(11:26):
voice in your head is not you, it's just a small little part of
you. And you need to acknowledgethat part of you it was originally the
voice were originally formulated between when youwere zero and five, or even could
have happened prenatally. I don't reallyknow about that part, but that's how
it happens in my mind, butthat the voice is listening to these other
(11:50):
people talk to them. Like forinstance, if you're a mom and you
tell your child don't cross the street, and then she thinks, Okay,
don't cross the street. And themom is telling their child that out of
safety for a concern for them,but the child heres, don't cross the
street. But then she looks andsees other people crossing the street and thinks,
well, how come other people cancross the street but I can't cross
the street, Like what's wrong withme that I can't cross the street.
(12:13):
And then they take this information ofI'm not good enough to cross the street,
and then they generalize it to otherparts of their life. Oh,
I'm not good enough to take secondhelpings, or I'm not good enough to
walk the dog, or whatever itis that they're doing. They think they
take something that was specifically meant forsafety and turn it around so it becomes
interpreted in their mind as something different, and that's where women are met men
(12:37):
too, just as much. Butthey get this voice in their head that
saying I'm not good enough, orI can't do that, or I'll always
be alone or whatever. The negativevoice is talking to them and berating them.
So learning to hear the voice andrealizing, oh, that's just a
part of me, and then bybecoming aware of it, then you can
deal with it for what it is. So once you're aware of this voice
(13:00):
in your head, you can acknowledgeit. Because the voice is there was
originally developed out of a safety instinctto keep you safe. So just acknowledging
it, oh, I hear you. I understand you're trying to keep me
safe, and then appreciating it reallyjust smothering that voice with love, loving
kindness to say, you know,I know you're trying to keep me safe.
I really appreciate it, but youdon't have to worry. I've got
(13:22):
this now, I can handle it. But I really appreciate that you're on
my side. And let's move forwardtogether so that they can really learn to
work together and get this voice intheir head to be positive and on their
side. But that loving kindness elementreally helps to move them forward. Yeah,
you know, I had a conversation. I taught a leadership kind of
(13:43):
a leadership program to the chamber inmy city, and I had a conversation.
One of the women was asking themen. We had a I guess
you would call it a field trip. We went to like a chamber meeting
or something like that. In anyway, the woman said to the man about
more women being in leadership. AndI had a conversation with her and I
(14:05):
said, you know, we're askingmen about why aren't more women in leadership.
My premise is more women need tostep up and ask for it.
It's not like the men have amagic wand and they're just like, you're
a leader, and you're a leader, you're a leader. I mean,
they have some influence. But inthat moment, I remember thinking, I
(14:26):
think we're asking the wrong question.Yeah, yeah, that's still I'm not
I don't have the power. Wedon't have the power. You have the
power, and so we're asking permission. Why aren't you letting us in?
And sometimes I think that is avalid struggle. But it's true in a
women's group too. I mean,it's not strictly male versus female. But
(14:48):
in what you're talking about in myhead at that moment, I kind of
had a paradigm shift. Okay,wait, if you see a need as
a woman, ask for that seat, ask yourself, you know what I
mean, step into it and godo I want that seat? Don't ask
someone else if you can have it. Let's say do I want that yeah?
Or can do you know someone whowould be a good fit for that
(15:09):
seat? Instead of why aren't theremore women? Well, because we're asking
the wrong questions is kind of whatcame into my mind, right. And
it's interesting, like when you lookat the research of women applying for jobs.
When a woman applies for a job, she needs to be able to
do ninety five percent of the skillsthat are qualified for a job, whereas
the man only has to do aboutforty percent. He's like, I can
(15:33):
I can do this, I cando it. But the woman has to
know that she's capable of doing everystep of the way in her mind.
Is what you're saying in her mindright, right, So that's interesting.
And if a woman has like amentor who can push them to do it,
that's helpful. But I think mostwomen don't have that. They need
to have their own internal confidence thatthey can do it. And that's really
(15:54):
a good reason to work with acoach because they can see your capabilities and
push you to do these things,help get you outside of your comfort zone
to do that sort of thing.Yes, it's it's important to your point
to have a mirror. Yeah,you know, to see your true self.
A lot of people look at themirror and they don't see what's actually
(16:15):
being reflected back. They see theirperception of what's being showed back. I
have a daughter in college and she'sin this entrepreneurship program and they had to
each person had to stand up andsay what their idea is for a company
and then see if anybody would followthem in that business. So she presented
(16:36):
her idea and everyone in class lovedit, and the majority of the class
stood behind her like they really wantedto be a part of their team.
And then this one guy said,yeah, it's a great idea I want
to do. I want to beon this team, except I need to
be the CEO because I have moreexperience than anyone in here. I mean,
he's twenty one, my daughter's twentythree. He's like, I've got
more experience here, I've done thisbefore and I can do this. And
(16:59):
my daughter's like thinking, like,this is my idea, this is my
company. I should be the CEO. I mean, it's just it's for
a school class. But finally shesaid, all right, well, what
we're gonna do is we're gonna putit up for a vote and we're all
going to vote and see who's gonnabe the leader. And they did vote
for her because she was presenting it. But just that the fact that these
guys would have the kahunas to say, oh, yeah, that you have
(17:21):
a great idea, I'm gonna suckit. I'm gonna take it myself and
i'm gonna drive this like no,like you're stepping outside of what's right and
acceptable. So and but my daughterwould have led him, except that she
decided we're going to take a voteand heard the people voted for her.
So it's like being able to stepup for ourself and believe in ourselves and
(17:41):
push for ourselves beyond. Like she'snever been a CEO. She doesn't know.
He said he has some experience.I mean, what experience does he
app he's twenty one like, comeon, it's the it's the pauses that
I think there's power in, youknow, like having a moment to stop
think, not not reacting or respondingimmediately, and having things that you can
(18:04):
say like, oh that's interesting,Yes, I really appreciate your input.
You know, those horrible things wehear, you know, we just need
to pick them up and hand themright back because sometimes that it may be
true. And let's just let's playwith this idea. What if it is
true that this other person has moreexperience? Chances are he does not,
(18:30):
but he's just being a difficult personality. But what if what if they do
have more experience? Is the obviousanswer, then I can't do it right?
Or that he should do it right. I think we need to Those
are the points of question and pausewhere it's like yeah, yeah, who
(18:52):
says And I'd like to know becausewe all have these like ideas of how
things should be to your point,right, Oh I can't that doesn't apply
to me, but it applies tothem. And what is it that makes
us believe we're outside of the potentialor the possibility for this opportunity right and
maybe changing the way that we thinkit starts with, well, that's interesting
(19:18):
to ourselves, it's interesting. Whatmade you say that? You know,
where's the proof in this belief?If you will? And just because someone
else might have more experience, well, I mean that's great that you have
the experience. I want the experiencetoo, and this is my opportunity to
step up. Yes, it doesnot mean I don't get a chance.
(19:41):
Yeah, And experience is relative.You know, we as women don't understand
I feel, how much skill andexperience we have a mass As women who
shop, we know where what storesto This may not seem important, but
we have a map of the cityin our head and how to route to
(20:03):
shop and where to get the bestproduce, and how to maneuver a difficult
teacher or a difficult situation at work, or you know what I mean.
Like, we have developed how toget a three year old to do what
they don't want to do, andyou might be the only one. So
these are these skills. Maybe they'reconsidered soft skills, Maybe they're just harder
to put on paper button. Ifeel like yeah, but if we could
(20:27):
learn to take those skills and putthe right words to it, think of
all the skill set, volume ofskill set that women have just from being
women in the home alone. Let'sjust start there and then you start moving
out to all the other things thatwomen do. Yeah. Yeah, So
is there a moment when you're helpingwomen where you can see the light bulb
(20:49):
go on? And what is itthat helps women wake up to this potential?
Yeah, it's and that is suchan exciting moment when I'm working with
some and I can see the shiftin their minds that I can see that,
oh, the paradigm shift has hithome, because then they realize,
oh, I have the capability todo this. I can do this,
(21:10):
and even if I don't have theskills right this moment, it's like Marie
Fourlio says, everything is figure outableand they can figure it out, like
women are amazing problem solvers and gettingbig things to happen with few financial resources.
Like women get amazing things done andare great at raising money. And
it's really exciting when you see theperson realize that, oh they can do
(21:34):
this and they can get it done. So and that was what was so
exciting for me with my daughter tosee like she heard what he was saying
and you know, figured out alogical way to handle it and then it
came to resolution. So that wasthat was exciting to see the capability her
own capability in that. And it'sjust like that with my clients when they
(21:55):
see how capable they are and howthey can make things happen. It's it's
really energizing. I think sometimes we'rethinking too far, too big, meaning
like we have to have all ofthat and be all of that right this
minute, right right, instead ofone recognizing who we are and what we
(22:15):
offer, and then the flexibility oflearning. I mean, from eighteen to
forty eight, how much life havewe lived? Well, if you go
from forty eight to seventy eight,that's another lifetime. Yeah. So if
we did all of that this thirtyyears, why couldn't we fill this thirty
years? Yeah? Exponentially? Hm, because we're building on something right,
(22:37):
Yeah, it's an add on thatwas all winging in at the beginning.
One of the things that doctor benHardy he wrote a book Who Not How,
And I think that's something important forwomen too. It's like you don't
have to do everything yourself, youjust have to know how to get it
done and finding the right people thatcan make it happen. So being the
solutions finder instead of the actual door don't get stuck in the weeds and
(23:00):
doing it, but look at howcan you just get it done? I
think is a good perspective for themto see as well. And I think
we do have that natural tendency towardcommunity and collaboration as women, right right,
which gives us that not just thesolution finding, but being able to
see the picture of how the piecescome together, you know, and understanding
(23:25):
how much better we are together sometimes, right, you know, But as
women, I feel like the deferencethat we talked about early on how we
step aside, you know, andit's such a natural like your daughter was
tempted to step aside because she wasn'tin that moment realizing oh someone could come
in and just be like move outof the way, right right, game
(23:48):
plan? Yeah. Yeah. Sowhen women are finding their sea legs,
you know, they've been out onthis lifetime on this boat and they hit
the land of midlife and they're tryingto find their stability. What are some
of the ways that you help womenget their legs back underneath them so that
they feel confident and are ready tomove in a new direction. Yes,
(24:11):
and thank you for asking that question, because that's something I really focus on
when I'm doing my Phoenix Planed coachingprogram. Is we work with the getting
the foundations securely in place, andthe primary thing that I really want women
to have is sound foundation. Isare their core are their core values?
Really being able to identify and listtheir core values and what's really important for
(24:33):
them. And it's important to knowthe difference between your core values, which
are with you your whole life andjust when people think of you, those
are the things they think of,versus your aspirational values, what are the
things you want to be like?So for me, my core values are
connection, lifetime learning, and curiosity. It's just like I've always been connecting
people and I'm always curious and Ilove learning. It's it's part of who
(24:56):
I am at the core. Andthen like, oh, I another value
is organization, but that's something Ialways aspired to when I have to work
on every day. It's not naturallya part of me, but it's something
I work on. So the firstthing we do is establish their core values
so that they're really connected with that, and then whenever they're making decisions,
they go back to those core valuesto make sure they're aligned with what their
(25:19):
decisions is the decisions are. Andthen the second thing I really work on
with them is to understand their strengths. So we do a lot of different
exercises where we can really pull outtheir strengths so that they can see how
they've been using their strainths in theaction. And the exercise I do that's
really helpful for women is to lookat during the different decades of their life,
(25:41):
what are things that they've done thatthey're most proud of, And then
I have outsiders hear them tell thosestories and then reflect back, Oh,
I can see that you're really goodat building connections with people, because that's
what you did in your example,taking their stories and really pulling out the
strains and then feeding it back tothem so they can hear it and acknowledge
(26:02):
it. And we do it onlittle sticky notepads. So then by the
end of the exercise they have thiswhole board of all their straints listed out
for them, so that they canreally bathe in the beauty of everything they
have to offer and feel those strengthsand it really nourishes them at the core.
So those are the main ways.I really work at them feeling grounded
(26:26):
in who they are. And thenthe third exercise that we do is really
focusing on their future self so theycan connect with not who they are right
now today, but who do theywant to be? And then what is
the process to get there? Andsee what their future strength has and then
live to that each day and makeyour decisions from that future self perspective.
(26:47):
I really that got homed in onme when Matthew McConaughey, he was talking
about the future self and he looksto hisself ten years out. Whenever he's
making any decisions, he looks tohis future self. And I was like,
well, that's really working well forhim, and I think it works
well. I've really been working withmy clients to really focus on their future
self to help make all their decisionmaking process easier. So those are the
(27:10):
fine foundational things that I do toreally help them with their move forward and
stepping into who they want to be. It's a beautiful process of extraction.
You know, you're not creating something, You're just extracting, right, all
the answers. We just have toget it out from ourselves into the world.
M h you know what's interesting.I think when I mentioned the idea
(27:33):
of seasons, I think one ofthe beauties of this season of life,
of midlife, this new horizon thatwe face, is we don't have to
do what we used to do.We take the skill set and we can
try something different. Because there's differentpeople in my life who some people are
(27:55):
happy to just continue on the paththat they're on, like they don't really
want to change direction, and that'sfine. And then there's people like myself
that are like, Okay, Ifinish that, and now what you know,
I don't. You know, mylife has not allowed me at this
moment to have grandchildren and have thethings that a lot of my friends,
(28:17):
you know, they have grandchildren thatare taking their attention in another direction.
Well, I don't have that.So I have this gift of what's the
best way that I can serve theworld around me and find that kind of
fulfillment in the gifts and abilities Ihave. And I feel like, you
know, what you're doing is helpingwomen recognize how they can bloom in this.
(28:38):
You know, what we've done iswonderful. I'm not miss I'm not
putting any like now it's your turn. All of that didn't matter. It's
more like an expansion of who youare. That's what I'm hearing you say,
right right, So you can havea full bouquet instead of just a
you know, individual flowers, youcan have the full blessings of life in
(29:00):
all of its vibrancy and colors.So oh, I love that. That
was a beautiful way to describe it. Yeah, it's like we're building the
bouquet as we go, are weright? Right? Exactly exactly, So
figuring out what are the things thatyou want to add that's going to make
your bouquet, that make your lifecome together as a beautiful bouquet I see
(29:22):
so much in other women. Youagree, Like, you see a woman
and your mind is like wow,you feel her energy, you see something
about her that just makes you impressedor drawn to her. Yes, And
I think it's really important for usto recognize that we have that same right
exactly. I remember there was anactivity that I've done a couple of times
(29:42):
where you choose ten people fairly closeto you, friends and colleagues, and
you ask them the five things thatcome to mind when they think of you.
You know, what qualities do yousee or do you think of when
you see me and it's really ENLiGHTyou can see patterns, you know,
(30:03):
you can see Oh to your point, how does the world see me?
Well, I assume the world seesme the way I see me, but
that's not always the case. Theworld is looking at me through their own
eyes, their own paradigms, righttheir own experiences, and a lot of
the times that puzzle of how they'reseeing me is actually they can see it
(30:25):
clearer because maybe they need that partof me, like that's it's connecting to
them as what I'm trying to say, not in an unhealthy way, but
you know, so it's kind ofa cool exercise to Obviously, I always
have this caveat choose the healthier peopleyou know in your life. But it
is interesting to see what other peoplethink. And sometimes, if I may
(30:48):
put forward, we may know deepdown, but we're afraid to admit it
because it feels wrong to elevate ourselvesin our own mind. Do you find
that women resist almost like oh,I shouldn't do that, or I don't
know how to handle that kind ofconfidence elevation expansion in my life. Do
you find that that's something else thatneeds to be navigated. Yeah, and
I reflect back to them, well, if you did know, then what
(31:11):
would that look like? Because reallythey do know, but they don't they
can't bring it forth. But whenI reflect it back to them and ask
them sort of in a little differentway than they're able to see it.
One thing that happened this week,and I was leading a workshop in planning
for twenty twenty four and I hadeach woman turned to the woman on her
(31:33):
right. We went down person byperson and say, what do you see
as the greatest strength in the personsitting next to you? So and this
was They've only been sitting there,We've been interacting for an hour, but
they were able to pull out somany different qualities that the other person was
like, oh, thank you somuch for recognizing that in me, That
their strainths were recognizable to people evenin that short period of time, they
(31:56):
were really seen and witnessed by theother person. And how quickly that happened.
So that was a real eye openerfor all of them too. And
there's just something precious about the opportunity, the permission to bless another person with
what we admire in them. Yeah, you know that the exercise that you're
(32:20):
talking about could be very uncomfortable forsome people, but it's like that good
kind of uncomfortable. Yeah, exactlywhere. Now, tell me a little
bit about your own journey, andyou know, how did you get to
this place where you know, obviouslythere's a backstory somewhere that kind of was
(32:43):
the impetus to this for you.Well, I got into this because when
I had my own daughters, Iwanted their life to be different. I
didn't want them to have to gothrough the struggles that I went through.
And I have a difficult relationship withmy mother, or I grew up with
a difficult relationship with my mother,and I wanted to have a stronger,
(33:05):
better relationship with my daughter. Sothen I decide, all right, I'm
going to go to coaching school tolearn how to help people to blossom so
that I can use that those techniqueson my own kids to help them blossom.
So that was my start of thejourney, and I really enjoyed that,
and I enjoyed working with people thatin that way, and I love
public speaking, giving workshops and seminars, so I focus on doing that and
(33:30):
have a core group of women thathave been following me for a long time,
and it's been really fun, andI think it's really helped been really
interesting in the journey to see backbecause now my daughters are graduating from college
and they both want to be coachesand help people to grow the best that
they can be because they've heard metalking about it for so long. So
I feel very fulfilled with that.So I'm excited about that. But I
(33:53):
love helping women become the best thatthey can be and see that. So
isn't it interesting we often move ina direction guided by something that's missing for
us exactly. Yeah, yeah,we see, And isn't that kind of
(34:15):
the normal path to take, lookingfor the opportunity, the thing that's needed
and creating and creating what's needed inthat space. I think as women,
back to what I said before thegardening that you were talking about the bouquet,
that's really what you do, isyou till that soil until you break
(34:37):
kind of through that dry, crustysurface of either dormancy or complacency or resignation.
And I feel like we all havethose moments right there's this ebb and
flow to our emotional experience in thelife that we're living and I love that,
you know, the reflective properties thatyou offer people to really look at
(35:00):
their life and think about it andto glean right, to take out the
big rocks look for the things thatreally are moving them forward is such a
beautiful thing. Yeah, yeah,thank you. One of the things I
really like to advise my clients isthat to really be conscious of the people
they hang around with. And it'ssomething I've told my kids from day one.
(35:20):
You become like the five people youhang out with. And so if
you're hanging out with people who havenegative energy or are you know, pointing
out your flaws all the time,that's really going to impact you. So,
even whether it's friends or family,be really conscious of who you're spending
your time with and how the messagesthat they're putting out are impacting you.
Like even just something simple like watchingthe news that's more more of an environmental
(35:44):
thing. But the news is sonegative and repeats itself, and it's a
vicious cycle that goes on and thenyou have these negative things playing in your
mind. So I don't even watchthe news anymore because I get too upset.
So I really try to focus onpositive things and hang out with people
who can see the best in situationsand are really have a really good mindset
(36:07):
that I would like to exemplify,So being really careful where you invest your
energy and whose energy is being absorbedinto your system. So that really makes
a big difference for people. Youmentioned a difficult relationship with your mom.
It's interesting how much that tape playsin our minds and the decisions that we
(36:30):
make as women, isn't it thoseearly foundational ideas, believes mindsets, you
know, we do if the wayyou've shown up for your daughters, trying
to be the better version, youknow, moving that needle forward so that
the experience your daughters have is differentand better than the experience that you had.
(36:53):
I feel like that's the beauty ofthe life that we have. We
have this opportunity to grow the resilience. Right, you are not what you
were. You can choose to navigateto clean, clearer, smoother waters as
much as you can in terms ofthe way that we think. But you
(37:15):
talked about this self talk called tinybit, and let's talk a little bit
about in your experience where people canbegin to identify that self talk and kind
of put it in its right place. Just becoming conscious of that voice in
(37:36):
your head, that negative self talk, is a huge step forward, because
too often it's playing and sometimes likewhat I try to listen to what other
people are saying, and they'll saysomething like, oh my god, that
was so stupid, how could Ido that? And then I'll reflect that
back to them, Oh, doyou know what you just said to yourself?
Because they're not even aware of it, and they're not they say things
to themselves that they would never sayto their friend or their child, like
(38:00):
it's so cruel, and yet wedo it all the time. It's on
repeat in our brain. So justbecoming aware of that self talk is going
to make a difference. And thenturning it around is like, okay,
how can I let's let's reframe that, what's really going on here? And
what can I do differently about thisso that I'm not, you know,
murdering myself all the time with thisnegative self talk. That's a great analogy.
(38:22):
Really we are. We are murderingwhere we're hacking ourselves to pieces mentally
so often, yeah, yeah,and stopping that is so important. One
of the things that really helps fitsfrom Carol Dwex's book on mindset growth versus
fixed mindset, but just throwing inthat little three letter word on the end
(38:44):
of you saying like, oh,I'm so miserable at this, and then
you just throw in yet or I'mso miserab about this. Well I'm so
vich about it now. But youcan do things differently. But adding yet
to when you have something I can'tdo this yet just makes it possible and
creates the opportunity for growth and learning, and that really makes a big difference.
(39:07):
So yeah, it's a powerful Itseems so little, right, It
really does tell the brain to lookelsewhere, right, that there's a possibility
for something different. Mmm mmmmm.That was a good book. I really
liked that book. Yeah. Yeah. I think that we as women,
(39:28):
we're like water. We just flowthrough life and we fill the gaps and
we're doing what needs to be done, and we're intuitively often just showing up.
And I think what we're asking themto do in this season of life
is to become aware of that intuitiveness, put a name to it, and,
for lack of a better term,in my mind, intentionally apply it.
(39:52):
It's not like we haven't had intentionbut it's been more intuitive and less
intention in a lot of ways,would you agree, yes? And also
our intentions have been like in thepast, we're so busy doing, doing,
doing, and we don't have timefor the being and just to be
with yourself and to think about whatyou want to do for you as opposed
(40:14):
to taking care of everybody else andthinking about Okay, so now I have
twenty five years, how do Iwant to change? What do I want
to see different in the world?Where can I contribute? And I really
like to encourage my clients to thinkabout how they can be of service to
the world. What is it thatthe world is hungry for that only you
(40:34):
can deliver? Because they each havevery special talents that only they can give
to the world, and the worldis waiting for them, even though they
don't realize it. The world ishungry for what they have to serve to
what they have to give, andthey just by showing up as themselves with
what they have, they're perfect asthey are to deliver the need that the
(40:54):
world has. Yeah, yeah,it in my mind as you're talking,
I picture you know. Life islike it's like a map, you know,
you come to a cross in theroad and you have a choice to
make right which way am I goingto go? And I think we worry
about the rest of the map whenreally it's just right now, right exactly.
(41:20):
I think it's really a beautiful thingto take what a woman is,
any woman, and shine a lighton who on the beauty that she brings
to the world. And I feellike removing that pressure of knowing, Okay,
I'm at the end of the road, is it right or wrong?
Because sometimes it's not obvious right thechoices that we're making. It's either or
it's not life shattering if you chooseone and not the other. I think
(41:45):
for me sometimes it's like what ifwhat if I just took this road,
and what if it doesn't work out? That's okay. I feel like we
need to give ourselves permission to investigatea little bit and experiment a little bit
with things, because I have foundI don't know about you, but I
have found that I've tried all kindsof things and sometimes I like them for
(42:06):
a while, but it's not thething I want to do forever, and
that's okay. And I think thatmight be a helpful thing is to recognize
this isn't like a marble statue andyou have no other choice. This choice
is going to lock you in forever, right, because it kind of does
feel like a big decision in midlifefor a lot of women that I've talked
to. Yeah, yeah, butbeing able to you know, it's like
(42:28):
walking through Costco. You taste thisone, you taste that one. You
don't have to buy it. You'rejust trying it out to see if you
like it. Yes, Oh,you go to the shoe store. You
don't just buy the first pair youtry on. You need to try the
different ones and see what's going towork with what you have. And it's
a mix and match seeing. AndI think a lot of women get stuck
because they feel like they have tohave the answer before they start the journey,
(42:49):
like you have to have your destination. But sometimes it's just you got
to take the back roads to getto where you got to go and just
taking the next step. Worry aboutjust the next step in front of you,
what feels good for right now,and try that out and see where
it leaves. Like you said,you know, every corner that you turn,
you see a different view and youhave different knowledge about yourself and the
environment and what's going on. Soyou know, it's not a color by
(43:14):
numbers. You're just trying different thingsand seeing how it works. There's no
set way of what you have todo and how you have to do it.
But it's just so important to getout and try the different things and
see what's going to happen and not. What you have is you here in
the present, looking forward and justletting go of the shackles from the past
(43:35):
that have held you into these oldways of thinking and being in the world.
That is what was. We don'tneed to hold onto that anymore.
We can let go of that andlook forward to see what is it that
we want to do going forward.And I think as you're talking, one
of the things that popped into myhead is you have to trust that you're
growing as you're doing these things.So when you think I don't know that
(43:57):
yet or I'm not ready for thatyet, well you don't know how much
much more knowledgeable and experience you'll bewhen you hit that fork in the road.
You don't have to have it now, right, You're building. We're
constantly building that resume, right right. Yeah, So tell me, Alicia,
if you had to give the listenersthree things to kind of anchor in
on what three gifts would you liketo give them today? The three gifts
(44:20):
I would like to give them isto really focus on what they do want
and thinking about what they do wantand moving forward, and especially when with
the using this tool of manifesting,which we didn't really talk about today,
but in terms of manifesting, youwant to really focus on what you do
want and move in that direction.And the second thing is to take small
(44:42):
steps forward. You don't have tosee or understand the destination right away,
just to take small steps going forward. And the third thing is to really
pay attention to that voice in yourhead so that you can develop to have
a develop a conversation that's positive andsupportive as opposed to something that's tearing you
down or creating limitations for you.Pay attention to hear the voice and respond
(45:07):
to it in with loving kindness.So good, Alicia. How can people
get a hold of you and yourresources? I have a website, It's
my name Alisha Birberge dot com andthere's lots of available resources there. I'm
also on Instagram pretty regularly and Ihave a there's a like what they always
(45:28):
say, a link in the biowhere they can find more resources for me.
And I'm also on LinkedIn, soI'm around out there they'll be able
to find me. Awesome. Well, I want to thank you so much
for being on the show today.I want to thank you for sharing your
passion and your deep care for womenand your desire to help shine light on
(45:51):
the beauty that they are, tohelp them become that full bokat to your
own analogy. I want to thankyou and honor the journey that you're on
to not only grow yourself and yourdaughters, but you've taken that out and
you are having that impact on otherwomen, and I just really honor that
journey and thank you for doing whatyou do. Oh, thank you so
much. I really appreciate it.It's been a joy and a pleasure to
(46:12):
be here. Wonderful. Thank youfriends today. If you are on YouTube,
just look down below. The linkswill be right there for Alicia,
so you don't have to go anywhereif you happen to be driving. You
can also head over to www.Dot Feminine roadmap dot com. Forward Slash
episode three five nine. This isone of those conversations that we have over
(46:36):
and over in different ways and Ithink it's important for us to hear different
perspectives on a similar topic because weall have a voice, and we have
a message that someone will hear andthey need to hear it from us.
And so think about what it isthat is stirring in your spirit and hold
(46:58):
a space for it. Don't questionit, don't push it away. You
know, in this season of midlife, there's so much life that we've brought
to this point. Alicia has somegreat strategies that if you just take the
strategies that she shared and apply those, see where it leads again to her
point, you don't have to haveall of the answers now, just take
(47:19):
your next best step. And ofcourse if you need support, you need
that mirror. Remember that those resourcesare available to you in the links down
below or at www dot Feminine roadmapdot com for Slash episode three five nine.
Thank you so much, friends forbeing with us today. I look
forward to sharing more inspirational people's strategiesand stories with you in the weeks to
(47:44):
come. Take care of my friends. Bye bye,
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