Get ready to boss up and tune in to another empowering episode of "Finding Your Niche with Neish"! Join Neish as she sits down with the incredible Ashlei White, CEO of The Bawsemom Movement, a trailblazing business dedicated to providing a powerhouse network and essential resources for ambitious women who refuse to compromise their professional success while embracing the joys of motherhood. In this power-packed conversation, Neish and Ashlei dive deep into the game-changing role that confidence plays in achieving unparalleled success. Discover practical strategies to pivot and align your career with the demands of motherhood, and gain invaluable insights on seizing the right opportunities and taking bold chances. Ashlei shares her own journey and reveals what inspired her to light the torch for boss moms everywhere, empowering them to thrive in every way imaginable. Join Neish and Ashlei as they unlock the secrets to nurturing unshakeable confidence and pursuing your goals fearlessly. Hear Ashlei's invaluable advice on navigating career transitions and finding the perfect balance between professional aspirations and the joys of being a mom. Get ready to embrace change, seize opportunities, and redefine your own version of success, on your own terms. Don't miss this boss girl episode of "Finding Your Niche with Neish," where Ashlei White shares her incredible story, offering a roadmap for ambitious women seeking fulfillment as both CEOs and devoted mothers. Whether you're a fearless entrepreneur, a go-getting professional, or a mom searching for balance and empowerment, this conversation will leave you inspired and armed with actionable insights to conquer your unique journey and thrive in every way imaginable.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
However, Kama, you've been ableto do a phenomenal job at kind of
streamlining this conversation from all of thewomen that you've kind of been able to
impact and even interact with what hasbeen the overall sentiment of the boss man
movement. I've been getting some reallygood feedback, and one of the main
things I guess I would point outthat ladies says that they like the confidence
(00:24):
that I've instilled I and I honestlyfeel like that's a huge part of the
boss mom movement even when I justthink about it, because you do have
to be confident. We have tobe confident in ourselves as women. We
have to be confident in our abilitiesas moms, um and then of course
as the bosses in our business andin the industries that we may be working
in. And so I'm like,you know what that is like going to
(00:47):
be like my main driver behind islike be confident and being in who you
are and what you say you wantto do, because that's going to be
your driving force. It's going tohelp you win those in those moments where
you feel like you can't do it, you can't get up today and take
care of the kids, because you'refeeling whatever way you are about yourself,
or you can't get up and goto work or you know, do something
(01:07):
in your business. And so itwas just really interesting. It was like
that was like the amazing, LikeI just love your confidence. It's crazy
because I'm a person that battle withconfidence. And so we are back for
(01:42):
another amazing episode of finding your nichewith a Niche. I am your host,
Nicha Rogers, And first of all, before we get started, I
have to give a shout out tothe sponsor of this episode, this amazing
brand that has God empowerment t shirtscalled Motivate Her Company, which is what
the sweatshirt is that I'm rocking rightnow that says mining the business that God
(02:04):
assigned me. And when I thinkabout somebody who's on assignment doing exactly what
they're supposed to be doing, it'sthe person that's sitting across from me who
is on the show today to talkabout how she found her niche and being
a boss Mom. So, withoutfurther ado, Ashley White, welcome to
the show. Thank you, thankyou for having me. Yes, so,
I'm so excited to talk to youabout your company, the boss Mom
(02:29):
movement and what you're doing. Butbefore we kind of get into that,
I want of you are to kindof get a little bit more insight and
backstory behind who you are as aperson. So when somebody asks you who
is Ashley, what do you say? So? Ashley is a mother first
and foremost a daughter, a friend. I'm also a corporate professional and a
(02:52):
serial mompreneur. So I work byday nine to five in the investment banking
industry within the diversity recruiting space.So that's my love, I would say,
as far as my corporate stance becauseit means something to me to help
people that look like me get jobs, especially in the corporate space. Yeah,
(03:13):
and then as far as serial entrepreneurship, then I do also have a
hair company here in Atlanta, Honeyhair Coat, that I manage, and
I have a travel boutique agency andmy newest baby, the boss Man Movement.
Yes, I love that. Sofirst of all, okay, so
let's get into the HR yes,because I think that's important. So that
was a mouthful, but I feellike what you do, it's important for
(03:35):
people to know so they can kindof tamp in and learn from you about
you know, how they can haveappropriate representation and exclusivity, Like I'm sorry,
not in exclusivity, but inclusion tothe workplace. And so what is
your particular job when you say thatyou are that position over HR, what
does that actually look like? Sowe are the front face of the recruiting
(03:55):
process. So I go out andI look for people to specifically fill our
open positions. And so what Ido is more so passive sourcing. So
I'm usually if you ever are onLinkedIn and someone's reaching out to you about
a job, like, hey,you look like a good fit, like
that's most likely some times ye yes. So I enjoy it though, and
(04:17):
because, like I said, itsays space within corporate America for black and
brown people that aren't so welcoming,right, And so people that work in
my areas like, we're helping youget into these spaces that you maybe never
saw you could be in or it'sjust really difficult for you to get into.
(04:39):
Okay, I love that. Andso one thing I really like about
your brand and about the messaging isthat you don't necessarily discourage willing to stop
working, but you kind of youkind of like you know, echo the
sentiment and the message of the factthat you can still be empowered, you
can still be the boss in themidst of you working and being a mother
at the same time. So Iwant you to take me back to the
(05:00):
day. Take me back to theday where you realized, you know what,
I think, I want to startthis boss mom movement. And what
was that like for you. SoI was like six months pregnant. So
let me go back a little biteven to me finding out I was pregnant,
because this is kind of like thedrump starts to it all. I
was honestly devastated. And I'm gladyou're saying that, because that's another question
(05:26):
I was going to ask you.Was like, okay, so then let's
backtrack then, because I was gonnaask you that, I was gonna tell
you to take me back to theday where you realize you take the pregnancy
chest or whatever this situation may be, and you realize, like, oh
my god, I'm I'm with achild. Yeah. Yeah, Like I
said, I was devastated. Icried. I was actually getting the day
(05:46):
that I found out, I wassupposed to be getting my lashes done by
my best friend, and so whenI went into her suite, I just
cried, I'm like, I'm pregnantbecause not that I wasn't excited about being
a mom, because growing up,as most little girls, we want to
be moms or I want to havethe family. But I was well number
one in the world. We werecoming out of the pandemic sort to speak.
(06:09):
And I had lost my job inthe pandemic, which was my first
job into HR that I had workedso hard to get, coming from a
different industry. So I'm like,I've made it to HR, just for
me to lose my job ten monthslater. Yeah, but five or six
minutes later, now I'm pregnant andI'm trying to get back into the industry.
And so I was just thinking aboutmy career and the transition and all
(06:31):
of that. And you know,most women, especially in corporate, you
fear starting your family because it kindof gets in the way of your career
path, right, And so alot of women are having families later in
life because of that. And Iwas twenty eight, and I was just
like, I still want to pursuemy professional journey and climb the corporate latter
(06:59):
sort of spe I don't really anticipategoing up too far. But that's another
story, but I'm like, youknow, I still have goals, and
I didn't want to have to dimmy light as a woman and as Ashley
with my passions to pursue motherhood.I didn't want to. I wanted to.
I'm like, how can I dothis and be this amazing mom?
Right? Because moms get a lotof judgment if you're not the typical mom,
(07:23):
you know, like staying at homeand you know, focusing on the
kids. And I'm like, hmm, how can I do this simultaneously,
yeah, you know, and behappy and still have balance and things of
that nature. And so that wasreally where the tears, the devastation came
from. It is just thinking aboutthat. And I'm the type of person
I think so far ahead, Likemy boyfriend's always telling me, like,
you gotta live in a now likebecause I'm just so like, I'm already
(07:46):
at Z and havn't even you knowGOBC. So I was already thinking about
that. That is actually what sparkedthe interest of the boss My movement because
I was like, you know what, there are moms, including my own
mom, who are doing it.You know, they're sick, successful,
they're great moms. And I wantedto highlight their story. So I actually
started The Boss Mom as a podcastto have moms come on and talk about
(08:07):
their journeys and you know, justmatriculating through their careers, their businesses and
motherhood and how they were able tobalance it so that it could be really
a resource for me as a newmom, and then of course other moms
too that were listening. So Iwas like six months pregnant when I birthed
the Boss Mom movement. Wow,I wanted to prepare. Okay, so
(08:28):
you're six months pregnant, you realizethat I wanted to actually start this movement.
I was talking to somebody else earlierabout the you know, the timeframe
from when they have an idea towhen they actually execute on the idea.
What kind of like fear did youovercome with like starting something that was kind
of you know, because you're oneof the only few people that I know
that have this kind of narrative andso I think it's dope, especially like
(08:52):
in the Atlanta space, Like whatyou're doing is incredible. So what did
you have to overcome in order tokind of like, Okay, this is
the message that I want to pursueand I'm going to kind of go forward
and kind of you know, spearheadthis whole initiative. My initial fear was
I'm not even a mom yet.Like that was literally what I kept telling
(09:13):
myself. I'm like, people aregonna listen to this or look at this
like you're not even a mom,like you're still pregnant, and like I
was telling my mom that, Iwas telling my boyfriend, I'm like,
I don't want other people to likelook at it because just like you,
you haven't really gotten into it yet. And they were like, so you
know, like just do it,which me, I can have a lot
(09:33):
of great ideas, yeah, executingon them. I'll talk myself out of
it because I'm like fear that itwon't go well, you know, and
that it's like, okay, it'sjust a dream because it's really not going
to pick up. And so thatwas kind of just me getting in my
own way and kind of just puttingthese negative thoughts. Like it's just like
you know, when people are whenMother's Day comes up and ladies are pregnant,
(09:56):
they're like, I don't know ifI should celebrate. Yeah, I
haven't had the baby yet, youknow, Like that's kind of how I
remember feeling that way. It's aweird position to be in because it's like,
I'm pregnant, but I'm not liketechnically a mom yet, so I
don't know if I can fully occupythe space with enough credibility to like have
some legs to stand on and somebodythat's that's an authoritative figure right in this
(10:18):
particular industry. However, Comma,you've been able to do a phenomenal job
at kind of streamlining this conversation fromall of the women that you've kind of
been able to impact and even interactwith what has been the overall sentiment of
the boss mom movement. I've beengetting some really good feedback, and one
of the main things I guess Iwould point out that ladies says that they
(10:43):
like the confidence that I've instilled Iand I honestly feel like that's a huge
part of the boss mom movement evenwhen I just think about it, because
you do have to be confident.We have to be confident in ourselves as
women. We have to be confidentin our abilities as moms, um and
then of course as the bosses inour business and in the industries that we
may be working in and so I'mlike, you know what that is like
(11:07):
going to be like my main driverbehind. It's like be confident and being
in who you are and what yousay you want to do, because that's
going to be your driving force.It's going to help you when those in
those moments where you feel like youcan't do it, You can't get up
today and take care of the kidsbecause you're feeling whatever way you are about
yourself, or you can't get upand go to work or you know,
(11:28):
do something in your business. Andso it was just really interesting. It
was like that was like the mainthing, Like I just love your confidence.
It's crazy because I'm a person thatbattle with confidence. So yeah,
like literally probably just now getting overit. Like I always tell people,
was like my son was like mypush to really get over that humping.
What do you what aspect of confidenceof where you like, you know,
(11:48):
the weakest in what do you meanso from physical to um just my abilities
in my profession. Like I feltlike even before I transitioned to HR that
I was like overlooked for opportunities inmy professional career and I had to It
(12:09):
was almost like I felt like Ihad to work harder to show up and
show out. And so it wasjust things like from growing up that I
just feel like I never really gotover and so then it carried over into
womanhood and I didn't want it tocarry over into motherhood. Yes, so
I want to unpack the physical fora little because I feel like a lot
of women are like when you sayyou've had a son, you've had a
child, it's like where I'm lookingat you? Where right? And so
(12:33):
I want you to kind of unpackthat a little bit because I think something
that's like commonly misconstrued is, youknow, societal norms have put in front
of people that like, if you'rethin, you're beautiful. And so for
the fact that you, you know, to tell me that you've struggled with
some you know, insecurities when itcomes to building up your confidence in the
physical realm, talk to me alittle bit about what you mean by that.
(12:56):
So, like you said, I'vealways been small, and I was
not necessarily a good thing for me. I know, you know, some
people are like, yeah, Iwant to be smaller and stuff, but
I always felt I was too small. I feel like there's such thing as
that, and so I've always playedsports up until college, cheering, running
tracks. So it's just like you'realways you've always been just thin girl.
(13:18):
My parents were thin and it's justour makeup. But I never wanted to
be thin, not as thin asI am anyway, yea. And so
that was just always a struggle forme. And then after I had my
son, I got even smaller,really, so I lost a lot of
weight. I dropped maybe about twelvepounds twelve to fifteen pounds than what I
(13:41):
was going And if you're already small, that's drastic. Yeah, yea.
So I know a lot of womenworry about gaining the weight, you know,
and I was actually excited about that. You know, I had put
on weight when I got pregnant,and I was like, oh, I
think I was. She was like, oh, I'm gonna look good after
I dropped this baby and then dropthe weight too, drop the baby,
(14:05):
drop the weight, wow, yep, dang, And it was it's and
I still like because I'm still small. I'm really like, I'm still and
my son will be two in July, and I'm still trying to even get
up to the weight that I waswhen I got pregnant with Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. I think that's that's a really
(14:28):
interesting perspective because I don't think youknow a lot of women, and that's
a thing, like, especially whenyou become a mom. I think one
of the biggest factors and one ofthe biggest variables that you're trying to have
to come to terms with is whatit does physically to your body. Like
I still have a foopa, soI'm trying to get my foopa. Like
my daughter's eight. I don't havean excuse. I need to work out,
(14:48):
Like that's it. I just needto list being somebody's gym. But
I think that's a big conversation,right because like it's weird. It's so
now I wouldn't say weird, butit's just an interesting position of being because
here you are a human growing ahuman inside of you. It's extremely remarkable.
It's like it's a superpower. Basically, let's just call it what it
(15:09):
is. It is it's a superpower, Okay, And so you're growing human
inside of you and that does somethingto your body, like so many different
things. And then when you havethose physical aspects, I think that kind
of transcends into your professional life,to your work life, to your entrepreneur
life. So what kind of wordsof encouragement would you give to women who
are kind of feeling that juxtaposition ofbeing so excited to like have this new
(15:33):
person in their life, but alsohave the byproducts of having, you know,
giving birth and the level of pregnancyand stuff like that, and what
it does see you physically accept yourimperfections. And I say imperfections because we
look at it as, oh,I'm not perfect, you know, I
don't look like this. In theactuality, it's like, accept it.
(15:56):
This is the new you. Youknow, maybe walk in it and race
it, you know, and figureout ways to turn it around. And
I just look at it trying tomake it a positive, like I've gotten
I've gotten a gym membership. Likemy boyend something. He's like, you
need to get in the gym,Like you're complaining about it, like you
know, like you can do somethingabout it, and you know, I
was just putting it off for thelongest. And it's like when we met,
(16:18):
I was in the gym heavy andthen pandemic came moved and all this
stuff, and I was just likewhatever, like it is what it is.
Yeah, But in actuality, likeI do. I can't control it.
I can't do things to put moreweight on you know. My mom
was telling me that the day youneed to drink inshorts, like they gave
that to my grandma when she wasYeah, and I used to drink them
(16:40):
when I was younger, and Ihate them. But like, these are
things. It's like you can dothings to change it, you know,
but you can also accept it,right and I can love myself because I'm
still me. The the core ofme is still the same, you know,
the physical attribute that I don't necessarilylike necessarily like you know, and
someone else may say I wish I'lllook like that, you know, but
(17:03):
it's just like how do you feelabout you? You have to learn that
accepted and really learn to love whoyou are, you know, inside and
out. I love that. Iwas trying to say. I'm just gonna
edit it. I just I wastrying to say, like, don't forget
the guy that's coming in the frontfor the food. Okay. I'm like,
(17:25):
I don't want you to miss himbecause it's like red, so like
don't miss him. But yeah,I'm gonna edit that part. Okay.
So one of the other things thatI want to ask you because that's so
good, like what you're saying,Um, when it comes to actually pursuing
two things, right, you wantto obviously set out to be a really
(17:45):
good mother, but then you alsowant to set out to be a boss.
Yeah. Okay, So like talkto me about this balance because there's
a lot of commentary when it comesto mom guilty with like feeling like you
have to choose between you know,being this like a plus stellar mom but
then also killing it like in yourindustry and network. Yeah, so talk
(18:07):
to me about how you have beenable to kind of like understand the level
of balance that it takes to bea boss and to be a mom.
Yeah, it's been a journey,and honestly it's a continuous journey, I
would say. But one thing thatI have found and that I like to
point out is that I don't liketo refer to it as balance because to
(18:30):
me, and I mean definition wise, balance means it's the same you know,
the same level, and the realityis it's it's not going to be.
So I look at it as beingstructured. There's different things that you
have to take into account. Youneed to be intentional with your time,
defining the season that you are inyour life, you know, like I
said, accepting those imperfections and learningto ask for help, like, these
(18:52):
are different things when I think aboutmy format of structure, and something that
I showcase to my community is lookat these things in your life. Like
last year, I went through atime I like to call it my grind
season because I got a promotion atwork that was like a six to seven
month period that I had to followcertain steps and guidelines provided by my boss,
(19:14):
my leadership team in order to getthe promotion right. And so I
knew that there were certain things Ineeded to do at work and how I
needed to show up well. Thenthat then resulted to me asking for help
because the thing about being a mom, and honestly the thing about being a
black woman is that we are superwomen, right. We handle it all.
We wear these caps, we wearall these hats, and it's really hard
(19:37):
to ask for help because you wantto be able to do everything, and
you a lot of times out often we can, right, but that
period, it's like those boundaries youhave to learn to say no, yep,
you know, or I can't handlethis even though I want to,
I can't, And That was oneof my big things, is like just
even telling somebody, hey, Idon't have it, you know. And
(19:59):
so that's when you say I don'thave it, you mean you don't have
the capacity. I don't have thecapacity. Yes, that's new for me.
If I don't have the capacity,Like I think, that's just so
huge because that's kind of this seasonthat I'm in. Like we talked about
a little bit off camera, someof the stuff that we have going on
and just the momentum picking up,and it's just like all of these opportunities,
all of these things are presented beforeus, and they all are like
(20:19):
incredible opportunities and right, but atthe same time, you have to look
at what is within your wheel powerexactly, you know, to be able
to steal occupy these spaces and tapinto these opportunities with a high level of
execution exactly. And so that hasbeen like something that's been very difficult for
me is like I really want todo this, but I don't have the
(20:41):
capacity, right, And so justdealing with the fact that, you know,
the scarcity mindset, right, feelinglike you don't want to pass up
these opportunities because they may not comeback. Right, And so how have
you been able to kind of navigatethat space of like learning how to say
no and then that being the completesentence. It's hard, especially when you're
(21:06):
in I feel like, especially whenyou're in that building phase, which is
where I am like, I'm well, I'm so I'll say I was last
year more cell building in my nineto five career, and now that has
transitioned, right, And that's whyI'd like to say, look at the
seasons in your life, because Ibirth the Boss my movement while you're prior
Look, I'm like all over theplace with the years ever since the pandemic.
(21:27):
But before that, you know,it was like okay, put in
getting the boss my movement. Butthen it was like, okay, I
got a new job and I wantto go up another level, right,
And so I was focused on thatand really it comes down to prioritizing.
And that's why it's so important toeven look at the season of your life
(21:48):
because then you can prioritize whatever goalsyou have in front of you, whether
it's a three months, six monthsor for that year you know, And
then I feel like that's how youcan determine what you're saying no too,
and what boundaries you're being able toset for yourself and for others, because
when I tell people, you know, I'm setting boundaries, I say.
And it's not just what other people, it's me too, right, And
(22:08):
so even drilling down to your nicheye, that helps when you say no
to things, it does you know, it's like, Okay, this is
not these are my goals right nowand that just doesn't fall in line with
what I have right now, youknow. And I think that that can
help you learn to say no incertain situations once you realize where you are
with things. But no, that'sbig for me too, I say,
(22:32):
because I want to say it's everythingand I can do it, right.
I feel like I can do it. Yeah, it's possible, right.
You know. There's a verse andI try to like bring myself back because
I'm a Christian, so I tryto bring myself back to some of the
foundations that I like with Scripture.And there's a verse in the Bible that
says everything is permissible but not beneficial. And I think that's so true because
I feel like just because I candoesn't mean I should exactly. And so
(22:55):
I'm learning how to kind of findthe moment and these opportunities where God whispers
to me like Nisha say yes,Nisha say no. Like just because it's
in front of you does not meanthat you should, you know, tap
into it. Like that kind ofthing will come back around full circle.
So like learning that and honing thatin, I think takes like I don't
(23:17):
know, it's easier to say thandone. No, it really is right
because when you get these phone callsand you get like these opportunities to be
in the same room and affiliated andeven in the sphere of influence with some
of the people because you know,it's Atlanta, it's a lot of you
know, it's like I listen rights, it's like a ton of happenings in
Atlanta. So I think like there'sa lot of moments where you're like I
(23:38):
want to do that, I wantto do that, I want to do
that, but you might necessarily notbe able to do that. Um,
what would you say for you?Is your favorite part about being a boss
mom the impact to other moms.And that's like a passion point for me,
which is why it's so important thatI'm a line within my nine to
(24:00):
five. But then also my businessesbecause both of them involves me being impactful
in other people's lives, and Ilike, for the longest, it took
me a long time to honestly evenfigure out what I wanted to do career
wise, until I stepped into diversity, because I just felt like, I'm
like, man, I don't knowif anything is for me at this point
with you know, because the moneyhas to match two you have to make
(24:22):
a good living. And then sojust thinking like what is it that drives
me, and it's being able toimpact others. Like I studied psychology.
I once thought I want to bea therapist, but then God said,
okay, maybe you know, ormaybe that was me saying maybe not,
but I feel like we were onthe same page about it. But you
know, it was like, okay, what can you what else can you
(24:44):
do because still impacting those, youknow, other people's lives. And then
I just ended up walking into HR, which I actually fought because my parents
were in HR, and I'm like, I don't want to walk the same
I want to do my own thingjust for me to come back to it.
So it's like being able to youhave a job and also build a
business that allows me to be impactfulto people is just really rewarding, honestly.
(25:06):
So I think another you know,another part of like your messaging and
when I think about the boss mymovement, something that you guys kind of
like, you know, the narrativethroughout that organization is that you don't necessarily
have to be an entrepreneur, right, you can work a nine to five
and still consider yourself a boss.Talk to me a little bit about the
(25:27):
inception of that, because I feellike a lot of people, especially here
in Atlanta, you know, Ifeel like it's bleeding out into other cities
obviously where black people are realizing thatthey want ownership and that they want to
start their own businesses and stuff likethat. But talk to me about why
that narrative has been such a bigpart of the messaging with being a boss
mom. Well, for one,like what you just said, I feel
(25:48):
like entrepreneurship is kind of like beingpushed down everybody's throat now. And it's
not to say it's a bad thingto be an owner of anything. I
definitely think it's a good thing.But I also feel like there's people that
are thriving and they're nine to fivesas well, and I don't want to
discount that because I'm also one ofthose people. And I even just look
at my mom. She has hadbusinesses, but she thrived. She's not
(26:12):
retired, but she thrived in hercareer working in HR and climbing the ladder.
And so there are so many womenthat are doing these great things and
they're nine to five's and it shouldbe highlighted, it should be celebrated because
most of well I'm not going tosay most, but a lot of women
(26:33):
that are thriving, they're in maledominated spaces, you know, and it's
hard. Yeah, it's hard forthem to show up every day and do
what they're doing and being confident init when they're consistently being almost in a
sense like pushed out, you know, like because it's not really a space
creative for them. And so Ididn't want to well, number one,
(26:53):
I'm personally not a full time entrepreneur, So I didn't want to surround it
around that, but be inclusive,right and say, hey, it doesn't
matter what path you're walking, ifyou're an entrepreneur, if you're a mom
in corporate America or just working atnine to five, celebrate you because if
we need people to do both,right, if we need entrepreneurs and people
(27:17):
working for other people essentially, andit's okay. Yeah, Like, don't
feel bad because you're not an entrepreneur. If you want to be one,
great, but don't feel bad aboutit. And if you do have aspirations
of climbing the corporate ladder or climbingthe ladder, if you're you know,
in education or wherever you are andthat's your goal, why not. Yeah,
(27:37):
you know, so I want tocelebrate both and know that you're doing
great. You are a boss still, like I'm I'm a leader on my
team, and like I said,I don't necessarily want to be like the
CEO or anything like that, butthere are different leadership levels that I can
obtain in my job and I've alreadyobtained one. So I'm and I'm a
mom. So I want to celebrateyou know, women like me like,
(27:59):
so, We're gonna both spaces,and I think it's okay to do that.
I love the inclusivity message. Ithink one of the other things when
I think about being of Awston MoMA, I think about the val the variables
of being a mom. So Iwant to talk to you about, you
know, the message that you wouldhave or the words of encouragement that you
would have to women who feel Idon't really know what the word would be,
(28:23):
but they start off being a mom, they start off being in love
with somebody. Maybe it's different forevery woman, but like necessarily raising a
child that you are no longer withthe father of that child, so then
you realize like, Okay, nowI have to be a mom in a
different capacity than I may be originallyenvisioned. I want you to talk to
(28:44):
women about that if they find themselvesin this space where maybe they're a single
mom, maybe they're a mom nowwith a new person who's not the child's
father. Maybe they're a step youknow, maybe they have a stepfather,
and just kind of the messaging behindstill being able to feel like you're calm
for the in your motherhood in theface of you maybe feeling like you quote
unquote failed because your child is notbeing raised with both parents. Yeah,
(29:10):
no, that's good. I wouldsay number one, look at your strength,
right, because that takes strength.If you had to walk away from
a situation that you were so usedto, you were comfortable in, to
make a better life for you andyour kid or children and use that,
(29:32):
you know, as as motivation tocontinue pushing forward. And I would also
say because I actually so, I'mstarting my coaching business for moms and one
of my clients she she's a singlemom, and she told me like she
felt like she was just working tocollect a paycheck to take care of her
daughter, you know, and therewas like no passion. She actually had
lost the passion behind her career becauseshe actually did like doing what she she
(29:56):
works in social work. She didlike it and lost that at that confidence
And I'm like, you have toregain that. You have to. We
need to go back and figure outwhere you lost it, because I don't
feel anyone honestly now that I havegotten a job that I actually like and
that respects me as a mom.Number One, we don't have to just
work a job to collect the paycheck. We can have some passion behind it
(30:17):
and actually like doing what we do. But you have that strength to even
still get up in work right sothat you can make a living for you
and your daughter. And this isjust generalized. I just brought her up
because she is a single mom thatkind of lost that. But it's like
that strength to even continue to prevaillike that, you should definitely look at
that because if you're walking away froma marriage or even just being a single
(30:41):
mom. I was raised by asingle mom. I mean I have both
of my parents, but I primarilylive with my mom, and she was
doing what she had to do andshe was strong, and so I used
to just tell her, like,make sure you like you look at that
and accept like this is this isthe life right now for the moment,
because this moment, like you canfind someone else, like you said,
if you have a stepfather come in, you can't find someone else. But
(31:03):
look within and just look at thatstrength. Look at that strength that you
have to even do what you did, because I know that takes a lot,
you know, and I'm not inthat situation, so I can't honestly
like relate to it. But justeven looking at the single moms and knowing
that I was raised by a singlemom, and just looking at how much
they put on their backs, youknow, to to even keep going even
(31:26):
on the days that they don't wantto. And we talk about capacity and
they may not have the mental orphysical capacity to do it, but they're
still doing it. So I woulddefinitely just highlight that if you are going
through that situation, it's just lookat your strength, use it as your
motivation to keep going, and useyour babies because I know sometimes I'm like
(31:48):
some days I'm just like child.I just look at his face and I'm
like, you know what it's foryou. We're gonna make it work.
But yeah, yeah, I thinkone of the interesting things about pairing to
is it's really you know, it'sit's an experiment. Yes, I say,
like parenting to me is a learneras you go process, and so
sometimes you get it right and sometimesyou don't. What would you say is
(32:13):
the biggest lesson that your son hastaught you about being a mom? Hm?
Be happy? Because my baby isso happy, Like even when I'm
not, and he know he didn'tdid something to piss me off that moment,
he's still mad with this big smileon his face, and you know,
(32:35):
he really he can really lighten theroom. And so I feel like
that. You know, kids theylive life without a care anyway because they're
they're so innocent. But it's justhe really teaches you. It's just like,
enjoy the moment, enjoy life,be happy, you know, whatever
you've been blessed with. So Iwill honestly probably say that because even just
(32:55):
thinking when you ask me that,I literally his face just pop, I
know, and I got goose bums, I said, and you said be
happy. I'm like, oh God, I got goosebumps. Because I agree,
like kids have this ability to kindof, like I don't know,
just own the space of pure joyand like they just occupy that space of
(33:16):
like just being balls of like joyand love and everything good, everything God
and so um, I can totallythat totally resonates with me. Um,
with my daughter when I think abouther, and the biggest lesson that she
may have taught me is the same, just be happy and to enjoy the
moment and to relax. Yeah fine, yeah, fine everyone whatever. You
(33:39):
know. It's fine. Mom.You know I'm good, right right,
everything is good. This is mylife motto exactly. Um. Okay,
So what would you say as yourson continues to grow older? What is
your greatest hope for him as amom? I think I would say to
(34:02):
be proud of me. Um.Well, I find myself getting emotional with
this question, but so really it'sto be proud because when I think about
the things that I'm doing in life, I do it for me, you
know, Like I said, it'sit's the passion, projects and a lot
of things that I do, butI'm also doing it for him and any
kid I have after him is becauseI want them to have good lives and
(34:25):
so, but I also want themto know, like not only me,
but their dad too, like we'rehappy, we fulfilled our duties, you
know, because everyone has a purpose, you know, and and we're we're
Christian as well, and so Ifeel like God and still specific purposes in
us, and I want to makesure that I'm living that. And so
that's something I want to instill inmy kids as well. It's like,
(34:50):
live in your purpose, be trueto who you are. And so I
would definitely say I would want himto say, I'm proud of my mom.
That's good. I was having aconversation with somebody on this podcast,
with another woman who's just like killingit, like it's unreal, and she
poured in words of encouragement to me, and she's like, you're you know,
(35:12):
moms, we go through this stuffand we like like are we doing
enough? Are we showing up?Like our kids are showing up? Ourselves
all the stuff, and she's andshe helped me to realize and she's and
she what she told me was,um, your your kids are not mad
at you. Yeah, Like they'renot mad at you. They're not mad
at you, like for pursuing thesethings and for going after these things.
(35:32):
And we like create this story inour minds that they are upset with us,
you know. And so if yougive your children enough doses of love
that they need and it's not alot when I come down and think about
it, when I take this likea couple of five, ten minutes thirty
minutes here with my daughter and justgive her undivided attention, it's enough for
(35:52):
her. And she's not mad atme. It's not mad at me for
trying to pursue this dream of youknow, being a mass interviewer and having
these podcasts and working full time asa producer and create like all this stuff
that I'm doing, right, andI go home and she's the same,
Yeah, Like she doesn't change,right, Like she's the same yesterday in
the day before. And so realizingand getting other women to kind of realize
(36:15):
the message that our kids are notmad at us. They're not mad at
us for pursuing our dreams. Andthat's that mom guilt yep, that we
were talking about. It is likethat narrative we create in our own minds,
like Okay, I miss this game, and granted, you know,
my son is just now will betoo, and we haven't gotten to that
point yet, but I'm already thinkingabout those things, like, Okay,
(36:37):
I need to make sure that I'mgoing to be available, because that's the
flexibility I want to have, whichis why I say I'm not here just
to you know, and my jobto collect the paycheck. I want to
be with the company that respects thefact that I am a mom and I
have that flexibility because I work remotely, which is I would probably never go
back to the office if lord willie, but because that flexibility is important to
(36:58):
me, and I want to beable to enjoy those moments and be intentional
with that time that I have withmy family. And even though, excuse
me, it's it's hard sometimes becauseI am a workaholic, Like I'm trying
to get away from that, andI was like that before I got into
motherhood, and so just adding thatother hat, right, Okay, how
am I going to do this,but you know, it's just like they're
(37:21):
not mad like you said, It'slike I'm but I am preparing for those
times where I can be there formy child when he is experiencing these happy
times and moments of his life andnot working on something, but also understanding
if those times do a rise whereI have to go to work or do
something in the business, like Ihave showed that love to him so much
(37:42):
that it wouldn't impact your Yeah,I love that. Okay. So as
we get ready to close, Iwant to ask you what is your definition
of a boss mom. The definitionof a boss mom for me is honestly
killing it and your business and yourcareer and killing mom motherhood at the same
(38:04):
time letting go of that mom guiltand being okay with balancing your personal and
professional goals with motherhood. So Ilook at boss mom, you would be
a boss mom, you know,doing it like you're doing it because I'm
looking, Oh wow, I'm watchingwhat you got going on too. But
it's like you have found your passionand purpose and you're doing it. You're
(38:27):
fulfilling your dreams because one thing aboutbeing a boss mom is we're keeping our
identities as women and what matters tous, but also killing motherhood at the
same time, we're giving our kidsthe love that they need, we're not
neglecting them, but we're also lovingourselves and keeping hold what matters to us
as well. I love that inany words of encouragement to somebody or a
(38:49):
woman who finds herself as a newmom or maybe just learning she just took
the test yesterday and found out,oh my goodness, I'm pregnant, but
I also just got this incredible opportunityfor a career. What words of encouragement
would you have to that person,to that woman that feels like she's in
this space where she can't operate fullyin both Okay, yeah, so I
(39:09):
would say it's going back to thatseason, right, defining that season.
Whatever this new opportunity that you have, make sure it aligns with the type
of mom you want to be.And I say that because I didn't think
about that prior to motherhood, evengetting my job, or you know,
(39:30):
previous to the job I have now, I was more so just concerned,
Okay, is it going to begood money? Is it going to allow
me to, you know, livethis travel life that I wanted to live.
I didn't consider, okay, whathappens when you want to become a
mom? You know, looking atthe benefits because we want to look at
those, you know, and theflexibility. So if it is a great
(39:51):
opportunity that aligned with who you wereas a woman prior to being a mom,
reevaluate does it align with you asa mom because you're entering a whole
different space, you know, asa new mom. I didn't know.
You kind of know what to expect, but you don't really know until you
get into it. So really justthinking about the kind of mom you want
(40:14):
to be and making sure that thatnew opportunity of that new business venture aligns
with it. That honestly would bethe advice that I have. The vice
that I have is if you don'tknow what you need to do and you're
trying to figure out how to joina community where there's a couple of women
who kind of know how to occupythis space of being a boss and being
a mom at the same time,I would highly encourage you all to join
(40:36):
the boss moa movement. And ifthey want to do that, can you
tell them how they can? Yeah, so you can follow us at the
boss Man movement on Instagram and it'sboss baw Se and you can also join
our text community. There's information onthere about doing that. You can subscribe
to the email list. You canalso find us on Facebook as well,
(40:58):
but definitely follow us and subscribe becausewe will be having a lot of events
coming up that are new. Butalso yes, the Mommy Mixer. We're
gonna do it again. And Iactually partner with my business partner, Paisley.
She is the founder of the Mommy'swith Motivation, but we've partner to
have Mommy Mixers just to get out, enjoy time network, you know,
(41:22):
have a couple tips to drink.But definitely follow us so you can keep
up with the movement. I loveit. Well, you're a boss mom
girl. Thanks keeping too all right, y'all tap into what she's got going
on. So yeah. Peace
However, Kama, you've been ableto do a phenomenal job at kind of
streamlining this conversation from all of thewomen that you've kind of been able to
impact and even interact with what hasbeen the overall sentiment of the boss man
movement. I've been getting some reallygood feedback, and one of the main
things I guess I would point outthat ladies says that they like the confidence
(00:24):
that I've instilled I and I honestlyfeel like that's a huge part of the
boss mom movement even when I justthink about it, because you do have
to be confident. We have tobe confident in ourselves as women. We
have to be confident in our abilitiesas moms, um and then of course
as the bosses in our business andin the industries that we may be working
in. And so I'm like,you know what that is like going to
(00:47):
be like my main driver behind islike be confident and being in who you
are and what you say you wantto do, because that's going to be
your driving force. It's going tohelp you win those in those moments where
you feel like you can't do it, you can't get up today and take
care of the kids, because you'refeeling whatever way you are about yourself,
or you can't get up and goto work or you know, do something
(01:07):
in your business. And so itwas just really interesting. It was like
that was like the amazing, LikeI just love your confidence. It's crazy
because I'm a person that battle withconfidence. And so we are back for
(01:42):
another amazing episode of finding your nichewith a Niche. I am your host,
Nicha Rogers, And first of all, before we get started, I
have to give a shout out tothe sponsor of this episode, this amazing
brand that has God empowerment t shirtscalled Motivate Her Company, which is what
the sweatshirt is that I'm rocking rightnow that says mining the business that God
(02:04):
assigned me. And when I thinkabout somebody who's on assignment doing exactly what
they're supposed to be doing, it'sthe person that's sitting across from me who
is on the show today to talkabout how she found her niche and being
a boss Mom. So, withoutfurther ado, Ashley White, welcome to
the show. Thank you, thankyou for having me. Yes, so,
I'm so excited to talk to youabout your company, the boss Mom
(02:29):
movement and what you're doing. Butbefore we kind of get into that,
I want of you are to kindof get a little bit more insight and
backstory behind who you are as aperson. So when somebody asks you who
is Ashley, what do you say? So? Ashley is a mother first
and foremost a daughter, a friend. I'm also a corporate professional and a
(02:52):
serial mompreneur. So I work byday nine to five in the investment banking
industry within the diversity recruiting space.So that's my love, I would say,
as far as my corporate stance becauseit means something to me to help
people that look like me get jobs, especially in the corporate space. Yeah,
(03:13):
and then as far as serial entrepreneurship, then I do also have a
hair company here in Atlanta, Honeyhair Coat, that I manage, and
I have a travel boutique agency andmy newest baby, the boss Man Movement.
Yes, I love that. Sofirst of all, okay, so
let's get into the HR yes,because I think that's important. So that
was a mouthful, but I feellike what you do, it's important for
(03:35):
people to know so they can kindof tamp in and learn from you about
you know, how they can haveappropriate representation and exclusivity, Like I'm sorry,
not in exclusivity, but inclusion tothe workplace. And so what is
your particular job when you say thatyou are that position over HR, what
does that actually look like? Sowe are the front face of the recruiting
(03:55):
process. So I go out andI look for people to specifically fill our
open positions. And so what Ido is more so passive sourcing. So
I'm usually if you ever are onLinkedIn and someone's reaching out to you about
a job, like, hey,you look like a good fit, like
that's most likely some times ye yes. So I enjoy it though, and
(04:17):
because, like I said, itsays space within corporate America for black and
brown people that aren't so welcoming,right, And so people that work in
my areas like, we're helping youget into these spaces that you maybe never
saw you could be in or it'sjust really difficult for you to get into.
(04:39):
Okay, I love that. Andso one thing I really like about
your brand and about the messaging isthat you don't necessarily discourage willing to stop
working, but you kind of youkind of like you know, echo the
sentiment and the message of the factthat you can still be empowered, you
can still be the boss in themidst of you working and being a mother
at the same time. So Iwant you to take me back to the
(05:00):
day. Take me back to theday where you realized, you know what,
I think, I want to startthis boss mom movement. And what
was that like for you. SoI was like six months pregnant. So
let me go back a little biteven to me finding out I was pregnant,
because this is kind of like thedrump starts to it all. I
was honestly devastated. And I'm gladyou're saying that, because that's another question
(05:26):
I was going to ask you.Was like, okay, so then let's
backtrack then, because I was gonnaask you that, I was gonna tell
you to take me back to theday where you realize you take the pregnancy
chest or whatever this situation may be, and you realize, like, oh
my god, I'm I'm with achild. Yeah. Yeah, Like I
said, I was devastated. Icried. I was actually getting the day
(05:46):
that I found out, I wassupposed to be getting my lashes done by
my best friend, and so whenI went into her suite, I just
cried, I'm like, I'm pregnantbecause not that I wasn't excited about being
a mom, because growing up,as most little girls, we want to
be moms or I want to havethe family. But I was well number
one in the world. We werecoming out of the pandemic sort to speak.
(06:09):
And I had lost my job inthe pandemic, which was my first
job into HR that I had workedso hard to get, coming from a
different industry. So I'm like,I've made it to HR, just for
me to lose my job ten monthslater. Yeah, but five or six
minutes later, now I'm pregnant andI'm trying to get back into the industry.
And so I was just thinking aboutmy career and the transition and all
(06:31):
of that. And you know,most women, especially in corporate, you
fear starting your family because it kindof gets in the way of your career
path, right, And so alot of women are having families later in
life because of that. And Iwas twenty eight, and I was just
like, I still want to pursuemy professional journey and climb the corporate latter
(06:59):
sort of spe I don't really anticipategoing up too far. But that's another
story, but I'm like, youknow, I still have goals, and
I didn't want to have to dimmy light as a woman and as Ashley
with my passions to pursue motherhood.I didn't want to. I wanted to.
I'm like, how can I dothis and be this amazing mom?
Right? Because moms get a lotof judgment if you're not the typical mom,
(07:23):
you know, like staying at homeand you know, focusing on the
kids. And I'm like, hmm, how can I do this simultaneously,
yeah, you know, and behappy and still have balance and things of
that nature. And so that wasreally where the tears, the devastation came
from. It is just thinking aboutthat. And I'm the type of person
I think so far ahead, Likemy boyfriend's always telling me, like,
you gotta live in a now likebecause I'm just so like, I'm already
(07:46):
at Z and havn't even you knowGOBC. So I was already thinking about
that. That is actually what sparkedthe interest of the boss My movement because
I was like, you know what, there are moms, including my own
mom, who are doing it.You know, they're sick, successful,
they're great moms. And I wantedto highlight their story. So I actually
started The Boss Mom as a podcastto have moms come on and talk about
(08:07):
their journeys and you know, justmatriculating through their careers, their businesses and
motherhood and how they were able tobalance it so that it could be really
a resource for me as a newmom, and then of course other moms
too that were listening. So Iwas like six months pregnant when I birthed
the Boss Mom movement. Wow,I wanted to prepare. Okay, so
(08:28):
you're six months pregnant, you realizethat I wanted to actually start this movement.
I was talking to somebody else earlierabout the you know, the timeframe
from when they have an idea towhen they actually execute on the idea.
What kind of like fear did youovercome with like starting something that was kind
of you know, because you're oneof the only few people that I know
that have this kind of narrative andso I think it's dope, especially like
(08:52):
in the Atlanta space, Like whatyou're doing is incredible. So what did
you have to overcome in order tokind of like, Okay, this is
the message that I want to pursueand I'm going to kind of go forward
and kind of you know, spearheadthis whole initiative. My initial fear was
I'm not even a mom yet.Like that was literally what I kept telling
(09:13):
myself. I'm like, people aregonna listen to this or look at this
like you're not even a mom,like you're still pregnant, and like I
was telling my mom that, Iwas telling my boyfriend, I'm like,
I don't want other people to likelook at it because just like you,
you haven't really gotten into it yet. And they were like, so you
know, like just do it,which me, I can have a lot
(09:33):
of great ideas, yeah, executingon them. I'll talk myself out of
it because I'm like fear that itwon't go well, you know, and
that it's like, okay, it'sjust a dream because it's really not going
to pick up. And so thatwas kind of just me getting in my
own way and kind of just puttingthese negative thoughts. Like it's just like
you know, when people are whenMother's Day comes up and ladies are pregnant,
(09:56):
they're like, I don't know ifI should celebrate. Yeah, I
haven't had the baby yet, youknow, Like that's kind of how I
remember feeling that way. It's aweird position to be in because it's like,
I'm pregnant, but I'm not liketechnically a mom yet, so I
don't know if I can fully occupythe space with enough credibility to like have
some legs to stand on and somebodythat's that's an authoritative figure right in this
(10:18):
particular industry. However, Comma,you've been able to do a phenomenal job
at kind of streamlining this conversation fromall of the women that you've kind of
been able to impact and even interactwith what has been the overall sentiment of
the boss mom movement. I've beengetting some really good feedback, and one
of the main things I guess Iwould point out that ladies says that they
(10:43):
like the confidence that I've instilled Iand I honestly feel like that's a huge
part of the boss mom movement evenwhen I just think about it, because
you do have to be confident.We have to be confident in ourselves as
women. We have to be confidentin our abilities as moms, um and
then of course as the bosses inour business and in the industries that we
may be working in and so I'mlike, you know what that is like
(11:07):
going to be like my main driverbehind. It's like be confident and being
in who you are and what yousay you want to do, because that's
going to be your driving force.It's going to help you when those in
those moments where you feel like youcan't do it, You can't get up
today and take care of the kidsbecause you're feeling whatever way you are about
yourself, or you can't get upand go to work or you know,
(11:28):
do something in your business. Andso it was just really interesting. It
was like that was like the mainthing, Like I just love your confidence.
It's crazy because I'm a person thatbattle with confidence. So yeah,
like literally probably just now getting overit. Like I always tell people,
was like my son was like mypush to really get over that humping.
What do you what aspect of confidenceof where you like, you know,
(11:48):
the weakest in what do you meanso from physical to um just my abilities
in my profession. Like I feltlike even before I transitioned to HR that
I was like overlooked for opportunities inmy professional career and I had to It
(12:09):
was almost like I felt like Ihad to work harder to show up and
show out. And so it wasjust things like from growing up that I
just feel like I never really gotover and so then it carried over into
womanhood and I didn't want it tocarry over into motherhood. Yes, so
I want to unpack the physical fora little because I feel like a lot
of women are like when you sayyou've had a son, you've had a
child, it's like where I'm lookingat you? Where right? And so
(12:33):
I want you to kind of unpackthat a little bit because I think something
that's like commonly misconstrued is, youknow, societal norms have put in front
of people that like, if you'rethin, you're beautiful. And so for
the fact that you, you know, to tell me that you've struggled with
some you know, insecurities when itcomes to building up your confidence in the
physical realm, talk to me alittle bit about what you mean by that.
(12:56):
So, like you said, I'vealways been small, and I was
not necessarily a good thing for me. I know, you know, some
people are like, yeah, Iwant to be smaller and stuff, but
I always felt I was too small. I feel like there's such thing as
that, and so I've always playedsports up until college, cheering, running
tracks. So it's just like you'realways you've always been just thin girl.
(13:18):
My parents were thin and it's justour makeup. But I never wanted to
be thin, not as thin asI am anyway, yea. And so
that was just always a struggle forme. And then after I had my
son, I got even smaller,really, so I lost a lot of
weight. I dropped maybe about twelvepounds twelve to fifteen pounds than what I
(13:41):
was going And if you're already small, that's drastic. Yeah, yea.
So I know a lot of womenworry about gaining the weight, you know,
and I was actually excited about that. You know, I had put
on weight when I got pregnant,and I was like, oh, I
think I was. She was like, oh, I'm gonna look good after
I dropped this baby and then dropthe weight too, drop the baby,
(14:05):
drop the weight, wow, yep, dang, And it was it's and
I still like because I'm still small. I'm really like, I'm still and
my son will be two in July, and I'm still trying to even get
up to the weight that I waswhen I got pregnant with Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. I think that's that's a really
(14:28):
interesting perspective because I don't think youknow a lot of women, and that's
a thing, like, especially whenyou become a mom. I think one
of the biggest factors and one ofthe biggest variables that you're trying to have
to come to terms with is whatit does physically to your body. Like
I still have a foopa, soI'm trying to get my foopa. Like
my daughter's eight. I don't havean excuse. I need to work out,
(14:48):
Like that's it. I just needto list being somebody's gym. But
I think that's a big conversation,right because like it's weird. It's so
now I wouldn't say weird, butit's just an interesting position of being because
here you are a human growing ahuman inside of you. It's extremely remarkable.
It's like it's a superpower. Basically, let's just call it what it
(15:09):
is. It is it's a superpower, Okay, And so you're growing human
inside of you and that does somethingto your body, like so many different
things. And then when you havethose physical aspects, I think that kind
of transcends into your professional life,to your work life, to your entrepreneur
life. So what kind of wordsof encouragement would you give to women who
are kind of feeling that juxtaposition ofbeing so excited to like have this new
(15:33):
person in their life, but alsohave the byproducts of having, you know,
giving birth and the level of pregnancyand stuff like that, and what
it does see you physically accept yourimperfections. And I say imperfections because we
look at it as, oh,I'm not perfect, you know, I
don't look like this. In theactuality, it's like, accept it.
(15:56):
This is the new you. Youknow, maybe walk in it and race
it, you know, and figureout ways to turn it around. And
I just look at it trying tomake it a positive, like I've gotten
I've gotten a gym membership. Likemy boyend something. He's like, you
need to get in the gym,Like you're complaining about it, like you
know, like you can do somethingabout it, and you know, I
was just putting it off for thelongest. And it's like when we met,
(16:18):
I was in the gym heavy andthen pandemic came moved and all this
stuff, and I was just likewhatever, like it is what it is.
Yeah, But in actuality, likeI do. I can't control it.
I can't do things to put moreweight on you know. My mom
was telling me that the day youneed to drink inshorts, like they gave
that to my grandma when she wasYeah, and I used to drink them
(16:40):
when I was younger, and Ihate them. But like, these are
things. It's like you can dothings to change it, you know,
but you can also accept it,right and I can love myself because I'm
still me. The the core ofme is still the same, you know,
the physical attribute that I don't necessarilylike necessarily like you know, and
someone else may say I wish I'lllook like that, you know, but
(17:03):
it's just like how do you feelabout you? You have to learn that
accepted and really learn to love whoyou are, you know, inside and
out. I love that. Iwas trying to say. I'm just gonna
edit it. I just I wastrying to say, like, don't forget
the guy that's coming in the frontfor the food. Okay. I'm like,
(17:25):
I don't want you to miss himbecause it's like red, so like
don't miss him. But yeah,I'm gonna edit that part. Okay.
So one of the other things thatI want to ask you because that's so
good, like what you're saying,Um, when it comes to actually pursuing
two things, right, you wantto obviously set out to be a really
(17:45):
good mother, but then you alsowant to set out to be a boss.
Yeah. Okay, So like talkto me about this balance because there's
a lot of commentary when it comesto mom guilty with like feeling like you
have to choose between you know,being this like a plus stellar mom but
then also killing it like in yourindustry and network. Yeah, so talk
(18:07):
to me about how you have beenable to kind of like understand the level
of balance that it takes to bea boss and to be a mom.
Yeah, it's been a journey,and honestly it's a continuous journey, I
would say. But one thing thatI have found and that I like to
point out is that I don't liketo refer to it as balance because to
(18:30):
me, and I mean definition wise, balance means it's the same you know,
the same level, and the realityis it's it's not going to be.
So I look at it as beingstructured. There's different things that you
have to take into account. Youneed to be intentional with your time,
defining the season that you are inyour life, you know, like I
said, accepting those imperfections and learningto ask for help, like, these
(18:52):
are different things when I think aboutmy format of structure, and something that
I showcase to my community is lookat these things in your life. Like
last year, I went through atime I like to call it my grind
season because I got a promotion atwork that was like a six to seven
month period that I had to followcertain steps and guidelines provided by my boss,
(19:14):
my leadership team in order to getthe promotion right. And so I
knew that there were certain things Ineeded to do at work and how I
needed to show up well. Thenthat then resulted to me asking for help
because the thing about being a mom, and honestly the thing about being a
black woman is that we are superwomen, right. We handle it all.
We wear these caps, we wearall these hats, and it's really hard
(19:37):
to ask for help because you wantto be able to do everything, and
you a lot of times out often we can, right, but that
period, it's like those boundaries youhave to learn to say no, yep,
you know, or I can't handlethis even though I want to,
I can't, And That was oneof my big things, is like just
even telling somebody, hey, Idon't have it, you know. And
(19:59):
so that's when you say I don'thave it, you mean you don't have
the capacity. I don't have thecapacity. Yes, that's new for me.
If I don't have the capacity,Like I think, that's just so
huge because that's kind of this seasonthat I'm in. Like we talked about
a little bit off camera, someof the stuff that we have going on
and just the momentum picking up,and it's just like all of these opportunities,
all of these things are presented beforeus, and they all are like
(20:19):
incredible opportunities and right, but atthe same time, you have to look
at what is within your wheel powerexactly, you know, to be able
to steal occupy these spaces and tapinto these opportunities with a high level of
execution exactly. And so that hasbeen like something that's been very difficult for
me is like I really want todo this, but I don't have the
(20:41):
capacity, right, And so justdealing with the fact that, you know,
the scarcity mindset, right, feelinglike you don't want to pass up
these opportunities because they may not comeback. Right, And so how have
you been able to kind of navigatethat space of like learning how to say
no and then that being the completesentence. It's hard, especially when you're
(21:06):
in I feel like, especially whenyou're in that building phase, which is
where I am like, I'm well, I'm so I'll say I was last
year more cell building in my nineto five career, and now that has
transitioned, right, And that's whyI'd like to say, look at the
seasons in your life, because Ibirth the Boss my movement while you're prior
Look, I'm like all over theplace with the years ever since the pandemic.
(21:27):
But before that, you know,it was like okay, put in
getting the boss my movement. Butthen it was like, okay, I
got a new job and I wantto go up another level, right,
And so I was focused on thatand really it comes down to prioritizing.
And that's why it's so important toeven look at the season of your life
(21:48):
because then you can prioritize whatever goalsyou have in front of you, whether
it's a three months, six monthsor for that year you know, And
then I feel like that's how youcan determine what you're saying no too,
and what boundaries you're being able toset for yourself and for others, because
when I tell people, you know, I'm setting boundaries, I say.
And it's not just what other people, it's me too, right, And
(22:08):
so even drilling down to your nicheye, that helps when you say no
to things, it does you know, it's like, Okay, this is
not these are my goals right nowand that just doesn't fall in line with
what I have right now, youknow. And I think that that can
help you learn to say no incertain situations once you realize where you are
with things. But no, that'sbig for me too, I say,
(22:32):
because I want to say it's everythingand I can do it, right.
I feel like I can do it. Yeah, it's possible, right.
You know. There's a verse andI try to like bring myself back because
I'm a Christian, so I tryto bring myself back to some of the
foundations that I like with Scripture.And there's a verse in the Bible that
says everything is permissible but not beneficial. And I think that's so true because
I feel like just because I candoesn't mean I should exactly. And so
(22:55):
I'm learning how to kind of findthe moment and these opportunities where God whispers
to me like Nisha say yes,Nisha say no. Like just because it's
in front of you does not meanthat you should, you know, tap
into it. Like that kind ofthing will come back around full circle.
So like learning that and honing thatin, I think takes like I don't
(23:17):
know, it's easier to say thandone. No, it really is right
because when you get these phone callsand you get like these opportunities to be
in the same room and affiliated andeven in the sphere of influence with some
of the people because you know,it's Atlanta, it's a lot of you
know, it's like I listen rights, it's like a ton of happenings in
Atlanta. So I think like there'sa lot of moments where you're like I
(23:38):
want to do that, I wantto do that, I want to do
that, but you might necessarily notbe able to do that. Um,
what would you say for you?Is your favorite part about being a boss
mom the impact to other moms.And that's like a passion point for me,
which is why it's so important thatI'm a line within my nine to
(24:00):
five. But then also my businessesbecause both of them involves me being impactful
in other people's lives, and Ilike, for the longest, it took
me a long time to honestly evenfigure out what I wanted to do career
wise, until I stepped into diversity, because I just felt like, I'm
like, man, I don't knowif anything is for me at this point
with you know, because the moneyhas to match two you have to make
(24:22):
a good living. And then sojust thinking like what is it that drives
me, and it's being able toimpact others. Like I studied psychology.
I once thought I want to bea therapist, but then God said,
okay, maybe you know, ormaybe that was me saying maybe not,
but I feel like we were onthe same page about it. But you
know, it was like, okay, what can you what else can you
(24:44):
do because still impacting those, youknow, other people's lives. And then
I just ended up walking into HR, which I actually fought because my parents
were in HR, and I'm like, I don't want to walk the same
I want to do my own thingjust for me to come back to it.
So it's like being able to youhave a job and also build a
business that allows me to be impactfulto people is just really rewarding, honestly.
(25:06):
So I think another you know,another part of like your messaging and
when I think about the boss mymovement, something that you guys kind of
like, you know, the narrativethroughout that organization is that you don't necessarily
have to be an entrepreneur, right, you can work a nine to five
and still consider yourself a boss.Talk to me a little bit about the
(25:27):
inception of that, because I feellike a lot of people, especially here
in Atlanta, you know, Ifeel like it's bleeding out into other cities
obviously where black people are realizing thatthey want ownership and that they want to
start their own businesses and stuff likethat. But talk to me about why
that narrative has been such a bigpart of the messaging with being a boss
mom. Well, for one,like what you just said, I feel
(25:48):
like entrepreneurship is kind of like beingpushed down everybody's throat now. And it's
not to say it's a bad thingto be an owner of anything. I
definitely think it's a good thing.But I also feel like there's people that
are thriving and they're nine to fivesas well, and I don't want to
discount that because I'm also one ofthose people. And I even just look
at my mom. She has hadbusinesses, but she thrived. She's not
(26:12):
retired, but she thrived in hercareer working in HR and climbing the ladder.
And so there are so many womenthat are doing these great things and
they're nine to five's and it shouldbe highlighted, it should be celebrated because
most of well I'm not going tosay most, but a lot of women
(26:33):
that are thriving, they're in maledominated spaces, you know, and it's
hard. Yeah, it's hard forthem to show up every day and do
what they're doing and being confident init when they're consistently being almost in a
sense like pushed out, you know, like because it's not really a space
creative for them. And so Ididn't want to well, number one,
(26:53):
I'm personally not a full time entrepreneur, So I didn't want to surround it
around that, but be inclusive,right and say, hey, it doesn't
matter what path you're walking, ifyou're an entrepreneur, if you're a mom
in corporate America or just working atnine to five, celebrate you because if
we need people to do both,right, if we need entrepreneurs and people
(27:17):
working for other people essentially, andit's okay. Yeah, Like, don't
feel bad because you're not an entrepreneur. If you want to be one,
great, but don't feel bad aboutit. And if you do have aspirations
of climbing the corporate ladder or climbingthe ladder, if you're you know,
in education or wherever you are andthat's your goal, why not. Yeah,
(27:37):
you know, so I want tocelebrate both and know that you're doing
great. You are a boss still, like I'm I'm a leader on my
team, and like I said,I don't necessarily want to be like the
CEO or anything like that, butthere are different leadership levels that I can
obtain in my job and I've alreadyobtained one. So I'm and I'm a
mom. So I want to celebrateyou know, women like me like,
(27:59):
so, We're gonna both spaces,and I think it's okay to do that.
I love the inclusivity message. Ithink one of the other things when
I think about being of Awston MoMA, I think about the val the variables
of being a mom. So Iwant to talk to you about, you
know, the message that you wouldhave or the words of encouragement that you
would have to women who feel Idon't really know what the word would be,
(28:23):
but they start off being a mom, they start off being in love
with somebody. Maybe it's different forevery woman, but like necessarily raising a
child that you are no longer withthe father of that child, so then
you realize like, Okay, nowI have to be a mom in a
different capacity than I may be originallyenvisioned. I want you to talk to
(28:44):
women about that if they find themselvesin this space where maybe they're a single
mom, maybe they're a mom nowwith a new person who's not the child's
father. Maybe they're a step youknow, maybe they have a stepfather,
and just kind of the messaging behindstill being able to feel like you're calm
for the in your motherhood in theface of you maybe feeling like you quote
unquote failed because your child is notbeing raised with both parents. Yeah,
(29:10):
no, that's good. I wouldsay number one, look at your strength,
right, because that takes strength.If you had to walk away from
a situation that you were so usedto, you were comfortable in, to
make a better life for you andyour kid or children and use that,
(29:32):
you know, as as motivation tocontinue pushing forward. And I would also
say because I actually so, I'mstarting my coaching business for moms and one
of my clients she she's a singlemom, and she told me like she
felt like she was just working tocollect a paycheck to take care of her
daughter, you know, and therewas like no passion. She actually had
lost the passion behind her career becauseshe actually did like doing what she she
(29:56):
works in social work. She didlike it and lost that at that confidence
And I'm like, you have toregain that. You have to. We
need to go back and figure outwhere you lost it, because I don't
feel anyone honestly now that I havegotten a job that I actually like and
that respects me as a mom.Number One, we don't have to just
work a job to collect the paycheck. We can have some passion behind it
(30:17):
and actually like doing what we do. But you have that strength to even
still get up in work right sothat you can make a living for you
and your daughter. And this isjust generalized. I just brought her up
because she is a single mom thatkind of lost that. But it's like
that strength to even continue to prevaillike that, you should definitely look at
that because if you're walking away froma marriage or even just being a single
(30:41):
mom. I was raised by asingle mom. I mean I have both
of my parents, but I primarilylive with my mom, and she was
doing what she had to do andshe was strong, and so I used
to just tell her, like,make sure you like you look at that
and accept like this is this isthe life right now for the moment,
because this moment, like you canfind someone else, like you said,
if you have a stepfather come in, you can't find someone else. But
(31:03):
look within and just look at thatstrength. Look at that strength that you
have to even do what you did, because I know that takes a lot,
you know, and I'm not inthat situation, so I can't honestly
like relate to it. But justeven looking at the single moms and knowing
that I was raised by a singlemom, and just looking at how much
they put on their backs, youknow, to to even keep going even
(31:26):
on the days that they don't wantto. And we talk about capacity and
they may not have the mental orphysical capacity to do it, but they're
still doing it. So I woulddefinitely just highlight that if you are going
through that situation, it's just lookat your strength, use it as your
motivation to keep going, and useyour babies because I know sometimes I'm like
(31:48):
some days I'm just like child.I just look at his face and I'm
like, you know what it's foryou. We're gonna make it work.
But yeah, yeah, I thinkone of the interesting things about pairing to
is it's really you know, it'sit's an experiment. Yes, I say,
like parenting to me is a learneras you go process, and so
sometimes you get it right and sometimesyou don't. What would you say is
(32:13):
the biggest lesson that your son hastaught you about being a mom? Hm?
Be happy? Because my baby isso happy, Like even when I'm
not, and he know he didn'tdid something to piss me off that moment,
he's still mad with this big smileon his face, and you know,
(32:35):
he really he can really lighten theroom. And so I feel like
that. You know, kids theylive life without a care anyway because they're
they're so innocent. But it's justhe really teaches you. It's just like,
enjoy the moment, enjoy life,be happy, you know, whatever
you've been blessed with. So Iwill honestly probably say that because even just
(32:55):
thinking when you ask me that,I literally his face just pop, I
know, and I got goose bums, I said, and you said be
happy. I'm like, oh God, I got goosebumps. Because I agree,
like kids have this ability to kindof, like I don't know,
just own the space of pure joyand like they just occupy that space of
(33:16):
like just being balls of like joyand love and everything good, everything God
and so um, I can totallythat totally resonates with me. Um,
with my daughter when I think abouther, and the biggest lesson that she
may have taught me is the same, just be happy and to enjoy the
moment and to relax. Yeah fine, yeah, fine everyone whatever. You
(33:39):
know. It's fine. Mom.You know I'm good, right right,
everything is good. This is mylife motto exactly. Um. Okay,
So what would you say as yourson continues to grow older? What is
your greatest hope for him as amom? I think I would say to
(34:02):
be proud of me. Um.Well, I find myself getting emotional with
this question, but so really it'sto be proud because when I think about
the things that I'm doing in life, I do it for me, you
know, Like I said, it'sit's the passion, projects and a lot
of things that I do, butI'm also doing it for him and any
kid I have after him is becauseI want them to have good lives and
(34:25):
so, but I also want themto know, like not only me,
but their dad too, like we'rehappy, we fulfilled our duties, you
know, because everyone has a purpose, you know, and and we're we're
Christian as well, and so Ifeel like God and still specific purposes in
us, and I want to makesure that I'm living that. And so
that's something I want to instill inmy kids as well. It's like,
(34:50):
live in your purpose, be trueto who you are. And so I
would definitely say I would want himto say, I'm proud of my mom.
That's good. I was having aconversation with somebody on this podcast,
with another woman who's just like killingit, like it's unreal, and she
poured in words of encouragement to me, and she's like, you're you know,
(35:12):
moms, we go through this stuffand we like like are we doing
enough? Are we showing up?Like our kids are showing up? Ourselves
all the stuff, and she's andshe helped me to realize and she's and
she what she told me was,um, your your kids are not mad
at you. Yeah, Like they'renot mad at you. They're not mad
at you, like for pursuing thesethings and for going after these things.
(35:32):
And we like create this story inour minds that they are upset with us,
you know. And so if yougive your children enough doses of love
that they need and it's not alot when I come down and think about
it, when I take this likea couple of five, ten minutes thirty
minutes here with my daughter and justgive her undivided attention, it's enough for
(35:52):
her. And she's not mad atme. It's not mad at me for
trying to pursue this dream of youknow, being a mass interviewer and having
these podcasts and working full time asa producer and create like all this stuff
that I'm doing, right, andI go home and she's the same,
Yeah, Like she doesn't change,right, Like she's the same yesterday in
the day before. And so realizingand getting other women to kind of realize
(36:15):
the message that our kids are notmad at us. They're not mad at
us for pursuing our dreams. Andthat's that mom guilt yep, that we
were talking about. It is likethat narrative we create in our own minds,
like Okay, I miss this game, and granted, you know,
my son is just now will betoo, and we haven't gotten to that
point yet, but I'm already thinkingabout those things, like, Okay,
(36:37):
I need to make sure that I'mgoing to be available, because that's the
flexibility I want to have, whichis why I say I'm not here just
to you know, and my jobto collect the paycheck. I want to
be with the company that respects thefact that I am a mom and I
have that flexibility because I work remotely, which is I would probably never go
back to the office if lord willie, but because that flexibility is important to
(36:58):
me, and I want to beable to enjoy those moments and be intentional
with that time that I have withmy family. And even though, excuse
me, it's it's hard sometimes becauseI am a workaholic, Like I'm trying
to get away from that, andI was like that before I got into
motherhood, and so just adding thatother hat, right, Okay, how
am I going to do this,but you know, it's just like they're
(37:21):
not mad like you said, It'slike I'm but I am preparing for those
times where I can be there formy child when he is experiencing these happy
times and moments of his life andnot working on something, but also understanding
if those times do a rise whereI have to go to work or do
something in the business, like Ihave showed that love to him so much
(37:42):
that it wouldn't impact your Yeah,I love that. Okay. So as
we get ready to close, Iwant to ask you what is your definition
of a boss mom. The definitionof a boss mom for me is honestly
killing it and your business and yourcareer and killing mom motherhood at the same
(38:04):
time letting go of that mom guiltand being okay with balancing your personal and
professional goals with motherhood. So Ilook at boss mom, you would be
a boss mom, you know,doing it like you're doing it because I'm
looking, Oh wow, I'm watchingwhat you got going on too. But
it's like you have found your passionand purpose and you're doing it. You're
(38:27):
fulfilling your dreams because one thing aboutbeing a boss mom is we're keeping our
identities as women and what matters tous, but also killing motherhood at the
same time, we're giving our kidsthe love that they need, we're not
neglecting them, but we're also lovingourselves and keeping hold what matters to us
as well. I love that inany words of encouragement to somebody or a
(38:49):
woman who finds herself as a newmom or maybe just learning she just took
the test yesterday and found out,oh my goodness, I'm pregnant, but
I also just got this incredible opportunityfor a career. What words of encouragement
would you have to that person,to that woman that feels like she's in
this space where she can't operate fullyin both Okay, yeah, so I
(39:09):
would say it's going back to thatseason, right, defining that season.
Whatever this new opportunity that you have, make sure it aligns with the type
of mom you want to be.And I say that because I didn't think
about that prior to motherhood, evengetting my job, or you know,
(39:30):
previous to the job I have now, I was more so just concerned,
Okay, is it going to begood money? Is it going to allow
me to, you know, livethis travel life that I wanted to live.
I didn't consider, okay, whathappens when you want to become a
mom? You know, looking atthe benefits because we want to look at
those, you know, and theflexibility. So if it is a great
(39:51):
opportunity that aligned with who you wereas a woman prior to being a mom,
reevaluate does it align with you asa mom because you're entering a whole
different space, you know, asa new mom. I didn't know.
You kind of know what to expect, but you don't really know until you
get into it. So really justthinking about the kind of mom you want
(40:14):
to be and making sure that thatnew opportunity of that new business venture aligns
with it. That honestly would bethe advice that I have. The vice
that I have is if you don'tknow what you need to do and you're
trying to figure out how to joina community where there's a couple of women
who kind of know how to occupythis space of being a boss and being
a mom at the same time,I would highly encourage you all to join
(40:36):
the boss moa movement. And ifthey want to do that, can you
tell them how they can? Yeah, so you can follow us at the
boss Man movement on Instagram and it'sboss baw Se and you can also join
our text community. There's information onthere about doing that. You can subscribe
to the email list. You canalso find us on Facebook as well,
(40:58):
but definitely follow us and subscribe becausewe will be having a lot of events
coming up that are new. Butalso yes, the Mommy Mixer. We're
gonna do it again. And Iactually partner with my business partner, Paisley.
She is the founder of the Mommy'swith Motivation, but we've partner to
have Mommy Mixers just to get out, enjoy time network, you know,
(41:22):
have a couple tips to drink.But definitely follow us so you can keep
up with the movement. I loveit. Well, you're a boss mom
girl. Thanks keeping too all right, y'all tap into what she's got going
on. So yeah. Peace
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