July 30, 2023 • 51 mins
On this inspiring episode of "Finding Your Niche with Neish"! I am honored to feature the remarkable Dr. Ebonee Gresham, a true testament to resilience and entrepreneurship. Dr. Ebonee Gresham has achieved remarkable success in the nursing and wellness industry, making six figures while overcoming extraordinary challenges. Her story is one that will leave you in awe and reaffirm the strength of the human spirit. In this candid and heartfelt conversation, Dr. Gresham opens up about her journey as a mother of 10 children. She fearlessly shares her experiences of overcoming homelessness, including the harrowing period when she lived out of a car with six of her children. Dr. Gresham's ability to persevere in the face of adversity showcases her unwavering determination and resourcefulness. As a successful entrepreneur, Dr. Ebonee Gresham imparts invaluable strategies for achieving success in the business world. Her practical advice, coupled with her unique experiences, provides a wealth of knowledge for aspiring entrepreneurs seeking to make their mark in their respective industries. Watch and be captivated by her authenticity and inspired by her unwavering commitment to creating a better life for herself and her family. This episode is a must-watch for anyone in search of motivation, tips for success, and a reminder that determination knows no bounds. Join Neish and the extraordinary Dr. Ebonee Gresham as they delve into a transformative story of triumph, highlighting the importance of resilience, self-belief, and the pursuit of one's dreams.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
I didn't understand. Do you rememberthe first day that you were considered quote
(00:05):
unquote homeless, Yes, tell meabout that day. That was the day
that I realized that I could notreach into my person pull a key out
to go into a home or anapartment. And that's when it really hit
me and I just like burst outin tears. And my kids were at
the park. They were at thepark, they were playing, and I
was in my car, like Ireally don't have a key, you know
what I mean, Like it reallyhit me, like, oh my god.
(00:28):
But I had to be strong,you know what I mean. I
had to be strong for my kidsand just see it through because I'm like,
look at it, like the glasshalf full. At least you're in
your car and you're not under abridge, And so that helped me to
get through as well. Welcome toanother episode of Finding Your Niche with Niche.
(01:10):
I'm your host, Nisha Rodgers,and across from Me is another dynamic
powerhouse of a woman who has anincredible story and incredible journey. But she's
found her niche in the nursing industryand she's got a lot of things to
kind of unpack because her story isphenomenal. So welcome to the show.
Thank you, doctor Ebony Grisham,Thank you, thank I'm so excited to
(01:33):
speak with you. Okay, soI get a lot of different women on
here who are doing an incredible amountof things. We learned off camera,
y'all that we actually have something incommon. We both have daughters and they
have the same name, Yes,Royal. Okay, so talk to me
about the inception of you figuring outthat's what I want to name my daughter.
Oh wow, all right. So, being a mom y of nine
(01:57):
children, my husband came up withthe idea that he wanted to have another
child because he has all boys,so we have a blended family. Okay,
Right, So I had six children, he had two, and then
he wanted to have more children.So we had a boy, and then
he wanted a daughter, and Ithought he was absolutely crazy. I was
like, are you crazy? Right? And so I prayed about it,
(02:19):
yeah, and God said give hima child. So I went back to
my husband. I said, nowyou know, it's a fifty fifty chance
that this can be a boy,right, and he's like yes, So
any who, we went ahead.We conceived right, real easy. Yes,
you see I am fertile myrtle.Yes, And when I found out
it was a girl, I gavehim a party and I prayed about it,
and I named her Royal because sheis his princess. She is his
(02:42):
princess. And her middle name isDivine because she is definitely divine. It
was divine order for her to behere. Okay, So that was that
was a beautiful story. I thinkone of the biggest things I think that
we should have an asterisk by isthe number that you gave, right,
I think that I was I onlyhave one, okay, so how many
(03:04):
kids do you have? Ten?Ten kids? Ten? Total? Wow?
Yes? What is what is lifelike? And how do you just
say it? So like, oh, I have ten kids? Yeah?
How do you just say? Youknow? Cosby show, The Gresham Show.
Yeah. So they ranged from sixto twenty six. I had my
first daughter when I was sixteen,so I was a teen mom and then
(03:25):
they just started coming. And Ieven look at my kids to this day
and I'm like, where did youcome from? Yeah? Again, I
birthed eight and two are my bonuschildren. Their mom passed away when they
were young. They were very small. They're eighteen and twenty three now they
were about five and you know,seven or eight at the time, and
um, their mom passed away frombreast cancer and so of course we you
(03:46):
know, we got custody of them, and I've been in their lives ever
since, and so God trusted mewith more right now. So that's how
I have ten. Oh my goodness. Okay, what is life like as
a mother of ten? Where doI start? Um? Crazy, that's
what I can say. It's fun, but it's crazy, okay. Um,
(04:08):
they keep me on my toes.They're all different, you know,
they have different personalities, Um,different ages. Obviously it's seven boys and
three girls. Um, but it'scrazy, it's really crazy. It's like
it helps me in the management field, I will say that. So like
when I manage people, I'm like, oh I got this because at home
it's just like this. Yeah,it's like it's crazy, but um,
(04:30):
it's a blessing. It truly isa blessing because they keep me on my
toes and um, they're all justdifferent and I have a favorite child every
day, a different one option option. It depends on like what they do,
you know what I mean, Likeit's conditional, okay, and they
fight about like, oh, no, I'm the favorite. No, I'm
(04:53):
the favorite. I'm like, no, not today, you're not. Yeah,
royalists. Yeah, but she's alwaysa favorite because she's an ances.
It was always his favorite. Yeah, she's the only kid. And the
funny thing is I was an onlychild. Wow. So when you get
to five kids, you don't whatmakes you say, Okay, I'm going
to commit to having another one becausethat's a lot of responsibility. One is
(05:15):
a lot, Yes, it is, so I wouldn't. My story goes,
I didn't necessarily commit to having more. It was just I got impregnated,
and when I got pregnant, Idid not want to have more abortions.
You know, I had. Ihad two abortions, you know.
And so at that point, Iwas like, I can't keep I can't
keep doing this, you know.This is what I decided to do.
Of course, this is my youngeryears. Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm
(05:38):
nineteen twenty years old and just livingfree, too free, you know,
And so at that point I justdecided to make sure that if that's what
I did, I'm keeping my kids. You know what I'm saying, I'm
keeping my kids, and I'll justdeal with I wasn't a single mom,
you know, I will say,but I mean I was able to make
it through. I'm pulling through.Speaking of making it through, pulling through
(05:59):
your story is incredible. And let'sbacktrack to one of the biggest headlines that
people will come across if they kindof look into your story. Is you
going from being homeless mother of sixto powerhouse ceo, you know, very
profitable business. Talk to me aboutthat story, right, How do you
end up homeless? So I wasliving in poverty obviously, Like I'm a
(06:23):
single mom, you know what Imean, I have six children, I'm
in nursing school, I'm on welfare, I'm on Wick girl, food stamps,
medica, anything you got we needed, you know, and so but
the math wasn't math in you knowwhat I'm saying. This is when you're
making what seven dollars an hour?You know, I think the most I
made was ten dollars an hour.But you know how much housing costs.
(06:44):
You know, I have food stamps, but I had to sell food stamps
in order to pay bills and thingslike that. So I was evicted from
place to place to place, untileventually that eviction led to me being homeless
and having nowhere to go. Andwhen you say homeless, what level of
homeless, because there's a lot ofversions of what people will consider home,
the level of living in my truckwith my kids, six kids. We
(07:05):
were literally in the back of Walmartin my truck with six kids. I
couldn't sleep, you know. AndI did call on them, the different
shelters, but they told me thatthey didn't have room from my family size,
that was one thing I heard.Or they just didn't have room for
us. One of the shelters actuallytold me, well, m we don't
(07:29):
have anyone here that has a vehicle. And I'm like, huh, you
know, because like you said,there's different levels, right, So they're
taking like real like on the street, on the street, right, But
we're on the street because all Ihave is my is my truck. You
know. I had an expedition backthen, very old, raggedy expedition,
but it was mine. That's allthat I had, you know. Um,
(07:49):
And I was just like, whatdo you mean? And then one
one place said, well, youdon't look like you're homeless, and I
said, what does homelessness look like? There's people with PhDs that are homeless.
You know. So that's how weended up in my car. I
think my New York Pride would notlet me, you know, go,
and like panhandle. I was like, we're writing this out, you know,
at least we're in this car.Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
(08:11):
And do your kids at that time, Like, do you think your
children were able to understand the levelof homelessness that you're speaking about? Do
they understand? Know? At thetime? I don't think so, because
I would do things like take themto the park, you know, until
it got dark outside and let themplay. For a child, that's amazing,
you know, like oh at thepark, you know what I mean.
(08:33):
Or we would go to the libraryor something like that, or just
because we were together, I don'tthink they really understood, you know what
I mean. We were together,so they didn't understand it. Do you
remember the first day that you wereconsidered quote unquote homeless? Yes, tell
me about that day. That wasthe day that I realized that I could
not reach into my purse and pullthe key out to go into at home
(08:54):
or an apartment. And that's whenit really hit me and I just like
burst out in tea and my kidswere at the park. They were at
the park, they were playing,and I was in my car, like
I really don't have a key,you know what I mean. Like it
really hit me, like oh mygod. But I had to be strong,
you know what I mean. Ihad to be strong for my kids
and just see it through because I'mlike, look at it, like the
(09:16):
glass half full. At least you'rein your car and you're not under a
bridge. And so that helped meto get through as well. So where
is the help? Why don't youhave help? Why are you living out
of your car? Is there noone for you to go and say can
I sleep here? Can we come? And you know, be here for
a couple of weeks, a coupleof months. No support system, no
(09:37):
support system. I mean baby dadis called them, you know, called
them and they're like, oh,we can't help. What do you mean
you can't help? Can you takeyour kids? I'm not doing well right
now, you know what I mean? No help, No help from three
different fathers, no help at all, not from their families. They were
not active in my children's lives.You know. The only help we Dick,
(09:58):
it was from a mega church inAtlanta, actually in Lathonia. They
did eventually help us, and wewere out in my car for about three
and a half weeks in my car, and then I would continue to go
to church every Sunday. I'm gonnago to church. And then the pastor
came out, one of the bishops. He came out. I don't know
if I can name who it is, but he came out. He saw
(10:20):
my stuff in my car and mykids and was like, oh, absolutely
not, absolutely not. And theyput us into a hotel up on Panola
Road for about about two weeks.We were in the hotel until I could
find a place, and then Ifound a place and they paid for it
for about two months for us andgot us off the street. Oh my,
what level of humbleness did you haveto take on to find yourself in
(10:48):
this predicament where you have three kids, You're living out of your car,
there is no help externally and kidssix kids? Yeah, can you talk
to me about the humility that youhad to kind of during that time?
Yeah? It was very humbling becauseI wasn't raised like that, you know
what I mean, Like I wasan only child. My mom gave me
everything. I was a straight Astudent, I wasn't raised like this.
(11:11):
My mom was deceased you know atthe time, and so it was really
hard for me. No one tocall on. My father and I don't
have a close relationship, you know. His thing was, well, just
come back to Buffalo, and I'mlike, I'm not. I'm in nursing
school. I cannot leave at thispoint to go backwards. Very humbling.
I would actually pick women up onthe street. If I would see them
at like the bus stop and it'sraining or it's freezing cold, I would
(11:35):
pick them up and take them towhere they were going. And that that's
just my heart. You know,I'm a very giving person. That was
all I had to give, youknow, and I know what discernment God
would tell me to help them,you know, to help them out food
stamps. I would take my kids. We're going in the store. They're
buying everything. Imagine I got awhole lot of the food stamps, girl,
like with six kids. So thatwas their joy, you know,
(11:56):
to go and get a whole bunchof snacks because you know, kids love
snacks, right. I let themget whatever they want to get. But
that was my way of giving tothem because I couldn't give to them financially,
you know. Um, Craigslist wasmy favorite thing at the time,
was Craigslist, you know, whereI could buy use items, but my
children didn't know they were used,you know, because we couldn't do birthdays
or I couldn't get you know,Christmas gifts or brand new Nintendo and things
(12:22):
like that a PSP. So wego on you know, Craigslist and we
will find things so very humbling,very humbling. But I will say it
taught me to survive. It waslike survival of the fittest, and only
the strong survive. And here Iam surviving and thriving and thriving. Yes,
um, I love that. Okay, So can you kind of like
(12:43):
walk me through the day now whereyou decide I'm gonna come out of this.
I'm gonna redeem myself. I stillhave a story to tell. I
want to change things around. Howdid you pull yourself out of that hole?
I mean, I could just sayabout the grace of God, that's
really it. Honestly, it washard. It was hard. I'm not
gonna kid you and make it seemlike it was so easy. You know,
(13:07):
I just made a plan and thisit just you know, happened.
It came into fruition. No,absolutely not. I had days where I
was literally on the floor crying,like in depression. Now was I diagnosed
clinically, No, But now Iknow that's what I was going through,
you know what I mean. Butagain, I had to be in survival
mold to still get up and takecare of my kids the next day,
(13:28):
you know what I mean. Soit's like you didn't even have time to
be depressed, really because you hadto every day find an answer. And
so it came to me when,like I said, I was in nursing
school and I'm like, I can'tgo home. So that was the easy
thing to go back home to Buffalobecause that's where my family is in Buffalo,
and I'm like, I'm not,I'm not going back. I had
(13:50):
some issues at home when my mompassed away with my family, and I'm
like, I don't want to goback there ever again. And that was
the day that I made my decisionthat I was going to stay and work
it out, get through it.You know. I ended up felling nursing
school. Honestly, I felt nursingschool the very first home I felt my
med search class. By two points. I didn't find out to the last
day of the class to clinical everythingtwo point two. So I ran away
(14:16):
in humiliation, like, oh mygod. But I had so much going
on, you know what I'm sayingFrom the kids too. It was just
crazy. Yeah, And I hadto wait an entire year to get back
in the program, one whole yearto get back into the program to do
it all over again. But bythe grace of God, I passed with
a bee the second time because Itold my kids, I was like,
(14:37):
look, as long as y'all burnthis house down, you know, this
is what we have to do.Yes, you know, my oldest child,
unfortunately, and it happens, youknow, in the African American community,
she had to help take care ofthe smaller kids, you know what
I mean. My mom was outat clinical and I started working at Grady
Hospital. I was a patient caretech. You know. It wasn't making
(14:58):
a lot, but it was something, you know what I mean, and
m we pulled through. It wasrough. Yeah, I think speaking of
you know, your daughter having akind of you know, hold some of
the weight, so to speak,for the household. I think one of
the most magical things about kids ishow they can kind of lift us up
in a moment and just being theirnatural beautiful spirit, feel joy, feel
(15:20):
self in the middle of our desperation. Can you think of a time where
one of your children told you somethingthat kind of like served as a catalyst
for you to keep going? Yes, yes, yes, yes, um.
I'll give you two times that justcame to me. So one was
my second oldest daughter. We weredriving and there was a young lady.
This was during these hard times.There was a young lady on the side
(15:41):
of the road and she's like,oh, Mom, you didn't get her
because she was so used to mepicking women up. Yeah, She's like,
oh, you didn't get hurt.And I'm like cooh, and I'm
like, where is she? Youknow? And so I backed up and
I saw her at the bus stopand I picked her up, you know.
And there was another time here recentlywhere she said to me it was
a song, a gospel song thatshe remembers me playing when they were young
(16:02):
and going through this, and yes, and she said um. And she
I actually posted it on Facebook andon Instagram because I didn't know. You
don't realize that children are watching andthey're listening and they're memorizing and they you
know, this is a part ofthem, and you just don't realize that.
I don't know. And so shegoes, I remember hearing you play
this song when we were in thehotel. Now she's twenty three now and
(16:25):
she sent this to me, andI'm telling you, I just burst in
tears, like, oh my god, what's the song? Encourage yourself?
Encourage yourself. I want to sayit's tried City, but it's encourage yourself
in the Lord. Why. Yes, how impactful? Oh my god.
I'm sure that meant a lot toyou. Yeah? Did um? Okay,
(16:47):
So let's fast forward a little bitabout some of your current success today
and what you've been able to accomplish. You're also an author and then you
also have a spa. Yes,can you talk to me a little bit
about that, and like, youknow, just your philosophy around having just
these different holistic approaches to health andwellness and why that's so important important to
you. Well. I believe thatyou know wellness, especially being a nurse
(17:10):
right to being a nurse, fingermom, being a natural nurturer. I
think wellness starts from the inside,and it's the inside out and This is
why, for one, I wrotethe book. This is why I coach
women. You know, we talkabout mental health, we go through things
of personal development. It starts fromthe inside. You know. You can
you can put on makeup and youcan mask yourself very well, right,
but you just don't know what peopleare going through on the inside. Now,
(17:33):
once we get that together, Iopened up the SPA because also the
outside you want to feel beautiful,you know, and so we do body
contrent to you know, help youto lose some weight and lose some inches.
We do wood therapy for women whoelect to have cosmetic surgery. You
know, the nurses come, theytake care of you. We do the
foot detox, the Yanni steams,you know, teeth whitening, and so
(17:56):
that goes from the inside and nowthe outside. Ye we work on the
outside. And for me it wasjust anything. I absolutely don't like bedside
nursing any longer because I was anED nurse and when I was not girl,
they like work you to death,you know what I mean, Like
they work death. They don't wantto pay you any money, like you're
getting paid janitor's money. And it'slike I went to school for this,
(18:19):
Like I can kill you or keepyou alive, and this is what you
want to pay me? Like no, and then all the money goes to
the doctor. But you're here forIt's not making sense. It ain't making
sense to me. I'm like,I can't, I can't. I just
can't do it. So becoming anentrepreneur to do something that I love to
do, which is to take careof people. Right, Um, what's
(18:41):
the best thing ever? And soopening my spot, I'm just able to
give in a way that I cando with my discipline as a registered nurse.
I love that. That's fascinating.Talk to me about how you've been
able to kind of navigate that entrepreneurshipright, because I always think it's interesting
too when you can do one oftwo roles in an industry, you know
or under an entity where you canstill operate under you know, as being
(19:03):
a nurse, but then also creatingyour own establishment where you can kind of
like still do your own thing,but it's still in the same vein of
what you love to do. Right, talk to me about when you made
the decision to become an entrepreneur anda little bit about the entrepreneurs journey.
So I got fired from a corporatejob. I've never been fired before,
so I was like, yeah,y'all find me like me, you know.
(19:25):
And it was something so small andminute. But the thing was I
was at the top. I wasa nursing manager, and so a lot
of times incorporate that's what they're comingfor, the top person, right,
So anything that happens with your directreports, they're gonna blame you. And
it hurts so bad because I gaveso much of my time right away from
my family and just to this jobfor them to do that to me.
(19:48):
And so when COVID hit, Ibegan to travel and some of the nurses
were telling me about travel nursing andthey're like, yeah, you can make
ten thirteen thousand dollars a week.And I'm like yeah, lying, like
I'm playing with me. And whenI got terminated, I was like,
let me see, I had nochoice, right, So it kind of
catapulted me to to do that,and so I went traveling. I was
(20:08):
in Texas, I was in Californiamaking this money. This is so,
this is a real thing. Thisis a real thing. I saw you
said a week a week and Ididn't have to like be a drug dealer
or do anything like that. Iwas like, oh my gosh, like
this is legal, you know.And and then I was a lead nurse
at the same time, so Iwas managing um I actually you know,
(20:29):
it was on NBC News for it. I had two hundred nurses up under
me during COVID two hundred and I'mlike, too much is given, much
is required And it was just solike rejuvenating for me, especially to feel
like this and then to like,now God is saying I'm gonna put you
in front of the world for themto see, right um, And it
(20:52):
was amazing. And so with that, I'm like, Okay, so what
are we gonna do with this?So I'm telling my husband, like what
are we gonna do with all thismoney? And so it's just I saw
that. My question is like,Okay, now that it's coming, what's
next, because you know it's notgonna be forever, you know what I'm
saying. And so I would seea lot of nursing, a lot of
nurse entrepreneurs on Instagram and I'm tappingin and I'm like, they're doing med
spots, They're doing scrub, Yeah, Ye're doing like all type of stuff.
(21:15):
You know, consulting. I waslike, I can do that.
So I started putting my money asidefor that, and my husband and I
talked about it, and that's whenI was like, you know what,
I'm going to open my own business. I'm gonna open my own business and
nobody can fire me because I'm myown boss. But I love being able
to employ other people. I dolove that and just have that freedom with
(21:36):
my time. You know, Idon't have to ask anybody anymore. Can
I have a day off with myfamily? You know what I'm saying that
I said, I just hate bedsidenursing. But that's just me. Yeah,
that's just me. I hate toask someone else. And then they
put a cap on your salary.As an entrepreneur, there's no cap.
I can. I can work asmuch as I want, you know what
I mean. And because because mycap is anywhere between a hundred K maybe
(22:00):
one thirty Yeah, yeah, asan entrepreneur, you can make as much
as you want to. Right,So that right there it was pivotal for
me and I just was like,this is it? Yeah? And speaking
of like this is it? Howdo you know? Though? Right?
Because you know, finding your nicheniche. I'll like to talk to people
who figure out they're laying they're callingtheir niche. You know specifically, How
(22:22):
did you know though, that itis supposed to be in this industry?
Is like what I'm supposed to do. I had several people to reach out
to me on social media or onmy website or come to my spa.
I meant a lot of people whocame to the spa and they were just
like, oh my gosh, thisis so nice. The one thing they
would always say is how it feltwhen they walked in. It was so
peaceful. It was so calm,It was so serene, And that's what
(22:45):
I wanted. That was a partof my vision. And so for them
to say that to me when theywalk in, they don't know each other.
Multiple people those connections, and andfor me, I just get like
chill bumps when I talk to certainpeople and you just have chemistry. You
know what I'm saying with them andwhat you're doing for them. They leave
out they feel so good. Theycome back multiple times. They refer people
(23:08):
you know that you're operating in yourgifts. Yeah, the example real life
examples coming back to you and talkingto you about what do you say,
you know, what is the messagethat you're trying to tell to your kids?
Right, because now you have tokind of look at ten purposes that
are going to come under yours.What kind of messaging do you have about
(23:30):
that following your dreams, you know, in the face of adversity and being
able to succeed. Right when youthink about where you've come from to where
you are, now, what kindof message would you give to them about
following after your dreams? So Iwould say we felt out about that,
right because as you see, I'mlike a girl. I'm a student always.
I love school. That's me,right. My kids don't. They're
(23:52):
like this new generation. They're like, I'm not going to college. And
I'm like what, because that's howI was raised. You know, you're
going to college eighteen your sol boom, You're off. You see what I'm
saying, Like I was at HowardUniversity at eighteen. My kids are like,
I don't want to go to college, and I'm like, when you're
gonna do something? So we headedout about that, I'll be honest.
So now I'm okay, your kidsdon't go to college. Okay, Now
(24:12):
I'm all right because there's other thingsthat they can do. Yes, you
know. And then I had torealize, if that's not your thing,
why am I going to waste moneyand waste time and you go get this
degree and you do nothing with it. And now I'd have spent thirty forty
thousand on this university for no reason. So I had to come to that
realization. You know what I meanas their mom, So I'm good now.
(24:33):
But I have a daughter that's abarber. I have a daughter that's
a makeup artist. My thing tothem is, regardless of what you want
to do, be the best atit, like rock out, be the
best at it. Don't just bemediocre. Don't just be average on it.
Own it. If you want tobe a makeup artist, own it,
have your own studio. You understandwhat I'm saying, Like, don't
(24:53):
and I'm not saying don't work forsomeone, but have a plan to where
you own your own stuff. Yeah, you're the business owner, you're the
CEO, you run your entire career. That's good. Yeah. Have you
ever had anybody to tell you thathaving teen kids is irresponsible? Girl?
(25:14):
I don't care what people say.That's why I wrote my book. They
would never tell me that. Butpeople may think that, you know,
especially before I became doctor. Likewith the doctor, people respect you more,
you know. So it's fortunate,but unfortunate before that, yes,
like somebody like my dad, right, he would say that, you know,
(25:36):
like why do you have all thesekids? Now he's the same person.
Oh, my daughter is a doctor, you know what I mean?
And my daughter is business like?Oh really? But what about when I
was struggling and I needed your help? Right? You made me feel like
this. You didn't help me.You didn't help me because of the past
mistakes that I've made, you know, and again I didn't have necessarily the
(25:56):
guidance. A lot comes with that, It's in my book. You know,
a lot comes with that, fromthe childhood traumas you know, to
psychological things that go on with you, to you becoming a mom at sixteen
years old. You're a child yourself, right, So you're you're gonna make
mistakes. You're gonna make mistakes.I lost my mom at an early age.
That was my primary support system.So again you're gonna continue to make
(26:18):
mistakes. I didn't get a chanceto grieve properly. Now you're making more
mistakes. You know, you're lookingfor love and all the wrong places.
Daddy was never there. So allof that, yes, leads to you
had a lot of kids, youknow. But I will say I might
not have even been here on thiscouch today if I didn't have my children,
(26:40):
especially like when my mom passed.You know, they were everything for
me. They were my reason.They were my why when I was homeless.
They were my why why do youkeep going? Why do you not
give up? If I didn't havethem, I probably would have gave up.
I probably wouldn't even be here.Yeah, that's incredible. Were you
close with your mom very Okay?I'm close with my mom too, very
(27:02):
much. I was the only child. It was just me, you know
what I mean, And and forme to be her only girl and her
baby um very close. And atthe time I was like really upset with
God, like why, you knowwhat I mean, why take her?
And that's all that I have?You know what I mean? But uma?
Was you miss most about your mom? Just being able to talk to
her, you know during hard times? Do you want to make me cry
(27:22):
right now? No? I misseverything about her, you know, just
she didn't get a chance to seeall of the kids. She didn't in
chest see me graduate to get married, you know what I mean. Like
I had a big picture of heron the front seat at my wedding,
you know, and I knew itwas there, but it was something about
the song that I played at mywedding. Um Kelly Price. He proposed
(27:44):
to me. And there's a partin the song where she talks about calling
her mother to tell her that she'syou know, he proposed to her,
and I broke down. You're gotto make you want to make me?
And my son gave me a way, like my oldest son gave me a
way. So we're walking and he'sholding my arm, and that part when
the song came, and girl,it was like a wind that went past
me during that right at that partwhen she's talking about calling her mother,
(28:08):
and I just broke down. Andmy son, he was only twelve at
the time, he's looking at meand he's like, are you okay?
Because he you know, we didn'tplaying for that, you know what I
mean, we didn't planning for thatpart. And I was like, yes,
I'm okay. I was like givingme a second because I knew she
was there. Yeah, I knewshe was there, you know. Yeah,
but I missed that, you know, I missed being able to show
her. Look, I made anact of food, you know what I
(28:29):
mean, made support choices. Andshe always loved me. Never just she
had cuts me out, Yeah,you know she did. My mom was
a drill sergeant in the army,so she had cussed me out. Yeah,
she loved me. Yeah. Youknow, regardless of how many kids
I had, she couldn't have anymore children besides me. So I people
say that I had my kids frommy mother, you know. And so
um she would always say, whatyou're gonna do? Every time I called
(28:51):
her, I'm pregnant again, whatyou're gonna do? You know, I'm
my baby, you know what Imean. So Um, I think just
having her there, ying her thereand seeing these seeing me now those monumental
moments where I want her to bethere, when I crossed that stage and
they say, you know, doctorEbony, Congressia, I would have loved
(29:11):
her to be there to see that. But of course she's there in spirit.
Yeah. Sure. What would yousay, like, out of all
the things that you've kind have beenable to accomplish, you know, with
all of the different acoletes you hadall of you know what your kids have
been able to impart into your life, the value that they've added. Because
you've done so many different things.What is it that you are most proud
(29:32):
of? I would say keeping mykids together. And what I mean by
that is some women go through stuffand I've had defects called on me by
family members when you should have actually, if you felt that way and thought
something was wrong, you should havetook these kids as a family member.
If you're my cousin, right,you're my aunt, take the kids,
(29:55):
don't you know, subject them tobeing with just anybody if anything could happen.
Sac But wasn't nothing wrong. Itwas just them being ugly, you
know. So I would say Iprobably myself on keeping my kids through it
all. Yeah, every last oneof them. You know, they got
to see the grid, the grindand the glory. Baby. Okay.
(30:21):
So if somebody's like, okay,I want to start, you know,
I want to do like doctor avAny, I want to start a spawn,
Right, what are kind of thefirst steps to doing that? Because
it's that's a big feet, right, something that's like brick and mortars.
One thing to have like an onlinebusiness or like, but when you have
a physical space and like continuing tokeep business generating and traffic flowing like through
there um, how do you actuallydo that with? What would you say
(30:45):
are some of the first steps tostarting a business or Number one, do
your research. That's any business,right, Do your research, No,
your demographics, know your niche likewho are you? Who are you?
Who's your business for? H areyou talking to? What is your target
audience? You know what I mean? Like it's not it can't be for
everybody, Yeah, you know,and knowing that this is your purpose.
(31:07):
Don't just do it because it's ahype it's something you're seeing on social media.
Knowing that it's your purpose, becausethere's gonna be days and times that
Okay, today you made some moneyand tomorrow you didn't. But you had
to be able to weather that stormas an entrepreneur, you know. And
like I said, just doing yourresearch, knowing you know, especially if
like a SPA or something like that, knowing your state regulations. It's important,
(31:30):
knowing your scope. Are you anLPN, Are you a CNA?
Are you an RN? Are youan MP? Do you need a medical
provider? You know? For thedifferent things that you want to do.
That's very important as well having ateam because you can't do it all by
yourself. I had to learn thatright having a team, you need to
have your cmrs. Everything has tohave the process seas in place, and
if you don't, it's gonna justfall apart. Yeah, and you're gonna
(31:52):
be overwhelmed. Yeah, you know, but you got to have those process
seas in place. So it takessteps. I would say, most importantly,
have a mentor. Have a mentor. You're the second person to say
that how important that is. It'simportant because it's like a GPS that gets
you straight there. You know whatI'm saying, Like, you don't have
(32:12):
to have the pitfalls. We don'thave time for that. You know what
I'm saying, You don't. Youdon't have time to go on what they
call it a Google university of university. Get you a mentor that you look
up to and they're doing what youwant to do, and they can give
you the dudes and don't they cangive you the things that they did.
My mentor to the same thing,She's like, we're not gonna do this.
We're not gonna do that because andI'm A. I'm a why person.
(32:35):
Why don't Why aren't we doing that? You know what I'm saying.
And so she would explain to me, well, if you do this,
this is what happens. And I'mlike, ah, and the light bulb
comes on. Yeah, but here'sthe blueprint, and that mentor that coach
gives you that blueprint you execute yoursuccessful WHOA, that's really good game.
Um. With that being said,though, what would you say was one
(32:57):
of the biggest and best investments thatyou made into your journey as being an
entrepreneur. I would say probably investingin my team. Investing in my team
because they are loyal to doctor ebone. They are faithful and committed to doctor
Ebdey, and I couldn't ask formore. They were faithful even when they
(33:17):
weren't on payroll. That's faithful andthat's commitment, you know. And that
was the turning point when God waslike, you got to pay these people.
Yeah you know they love you,Yes, they do, but my
gift back to them is their serviceand I had to pay them and compensate
them for that. But they helpedme so much because I was on like
(33:37):
Camba, trying to figure stuff outand that's not my niche like at all,
Like it was horrible. It lookslike you know, Royal was doing
it, you know what I'm saying, But to hire your team that can
take this over and do it inboom boom boom and you know an hour
it's done. You know, Ialways wonder this, like what kind of
like what with you saying that justnow? It also makes me think,
(33:58):
you know, which one comes firstwhen it comes to generating revenue. Does
the revenue come first when you startthe business and then you hire a team
or does the revenue come when youhire a team and then the money starts
coming in the take For me,the team is going to help you generate
the revenue okay, okay, andfaster, quicker and more. Your VA
(34:22):
is going to help you, rightWhoever you have, you know what I'm
saying. Your social media manager,your personal assistant, whatever I have,
all of that they help. That'spart of that investment. You got to
take that risk on you, youknow what I mean. And that's part
of the investment that you have toput in before you get out. How
do you get to that point though? Because I feel like a lot of
(34:43):
people are like, ah, Idon't really have the capacity or the money
to pay other people. So Numberone, like my mentor told me,
it's not about the money. It'sinvestment. See I was looking at it
even myself and then beginning wrong,and I'm like, how much is that?
And how much you charge? It'snot that, it's the investment.
It's the investment. If you lookat it like an investment, you won't
(35:04):
look at it like I'm paying acharge or a fee, because that's what
an investment it's gonna do. It'sgonna come back right tenfold to you.
Yeah. So you have to investin your business. It's no different in
marketing, right, you have topay for the marketing. That's your investment,
and then the people will come,then the leads will come, but
you paid for it first. Yeah, so you have to pay for it
(35:28):
for saying the rest comes. Yes, And it's a mindset thing, you
know, Like I said, notlooking at it like the fee that you're
paying or how much is this?It's the investment. You have to change
your mind and once you change yourmind, everything else will, you know,
fall in place. You have toinvest. You have to invest it.
You can't look at it like Idon't have the money. Okay,
well you're not ready to be anentrepreneur. You're not ready. That plan
(35:53):
is simple, that's it, that'sall. You're not ready. Even if
it's five hundred dollars, you gotto invest it. I mean, people
are out here paying that for wigs. Come on now and it guess what
they say? That wig is gonnalast you for four years. You see
what I'm saying. But that wasan investment. You know that ain't cheap.
(36:13):
But that's not cheap. Some ofthem is more than that. Yeah,
right, but it's an investment.You're looking at the longevity of it.
I wish people could see that,right, that's very powerful what you
just said. Like, I wishpeople can see the similarities between investing in
a five ye in the VA oran intern whatever it may be, for
(36:34):
that same price. Right, Wow, what do you think that is?
Why can't people correlate that with business? Why does it not transfer? Because
it's the mindset, it's your mindset, and it's also to me, it's
as stubbornness because it's what you want. You will pay for what you want.
You know, Like I had someoneasked me today, how do you
(36:57):
go work? Out, where doyou find time with the kids? Businesses?
Because you find time for what youwant to find time for, You'll
make time. You'll make time.And it's the same thing with your business,
you know what I'm saying, likeinvesting, so, but how do
you get it? How do youturn the switch onto your in your mind
to work for what you need?When you get tired, when you keep
(37:17):
going to this corporate job and you'relike, I'm so tired of my boss,
I'm so tired of driving back andforce this location. Or you just
have this ambition and this goal andyou still never see it come. It's
like you've been pregnant with this thisvision for nine months and never delivered it.
You get tired. You keep scrollingon social media. You see everybody
(37:39):
else. Oh they're doing good,they're doing this, their business is flourishing,
they're doing it, and you gettired. But when is it your
time? When is it your time? Yeah, but you had to make
that time, Like today, it'smy time. I'm forget this week.
I'm taking this five hundred dollars andI'm investing it in the VA and the
(38:00):
coach. You know what I'm saying, Whatever it is, for my business
to start or to continue or togo to the next level. Yeah,
that mindset shift. Yes, wheredid you get that from? How are
you able to do that? Nuver? Why? My mama? My mama?
So coming up, I listened tom Les Brown. Okay with me,
you know that that was the thingin my household. My mom was
(38:21):
real big on like affirmations and stufflike that, and I appreciate that gift.
Now, I didn't understand it whenI was younger, you know what
I mean. I'm like, oh, it should go putting up stickers and
stuff around in the house, youknow what I mean. I'm taking them
down a little kid, you know. But now I get it. You
know, it makes sense because itdeveloped in it's the woman that I am
today. And now I see peopledo it and I'm like, I've been
(38:44):
doing this since I was six,but I didn't have an understanding of it.
Yeah, you know what I mean. So it started there, I
will say. The other thing isjust being in those spaces, getting in
those rooms where people are doing thesame thing, you know, like minded
individuals that are talking about stuff,and you're just like wow, and you're
not the smartest person in the room. You know that feels amazing. So
(39:07):
like I feel like I didn't knownone of this. Yeah I'm saying,
and said, walk away with someinformation right, um that can transcend to
my business and leaving a legacy formy family and my children. It was
just like, I don't know,It's just it was just it's just different.
It's just something totally different. Sothat's where it came from, where
you just get tired and you're like, Okay, in me, I like
(39:29):
different stuff, so I'll dibble anddabble in different stuff. I'm like,
Okay, I'm bored with this.Yeah. Yeah. So when I tried
to be an entrepreneur, I waslike, okay, I could do this
and anything I say I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do it. Okay,
I'm We've always been like that,Always been like that, always been It's
like what you said, like,I'll follow through on this stuff that I
really want, and I'm working ongetting better at following through on the stuff
(39:52):
that I need. But follow through. I think that's key, Like what
you're saying, it's so important becauseI think a lot of people have have
a lot of great ideas. Youknow, they start a lot of things,
but being able to finish and beingable to execute is a whole nother
like ball game, I mean,and being consistent too that you know,
because like you said, it's afollow through. But what happens when it
(40:14):
doesn't so caught work or you feellike it's not working, or oh my
god, I'm not making the moneythat I thought I was gonna make.
Keep going, keep going. Youknow a lot of people at that point
they quit and they're onto something else. But you never saw it through.
That you never saw it through.That's key. Um. The where you
are today? Is this something thatyou kind of visualize. I know we
(40:36):
talked a little bit about affirmations andother things, but let's say when you
are on kid number two, absolutely, where did you? Where did you
think? What was your vision foryour life? Um? So I wanted
to be a doctor. Okay,I wanted to be a medical doctor,
I would say, um, andthat's what I went to Howard four.
I went for pre medicine. Iwanted to be an OBG Ryan. So
that's what I saw for my life. Okay. Um, when I took
(41:00):
care of my mom when she wasin hospice and I was like her nurse,
right per se is when I realizedI wanted to become a nurse.
And so that's where the shift,you know, kind of happened. I
did try dental assisting school, Iwent to be a medical assistant. I
went to be an LPN. Ididn't get in the program for LPN,
but I got into the RN programs. Yeah you know, um, but
(41:24):
yeah, I never what's the differencebetween the two For people who don't get
the acronyms, like, what doesthat mean? It's just a different discipline
and you have just different things thatyou can do. So for example,
an LPN can't hang blood, youknow what I mean? Where RN can.
Your disciplines are basically the same,honestly, but just a little bit
different. So you have like anMP, you have an RN, you
(41:46):
have an LPN, you have aCNA, you have an M a licensed
practical nurse, registered nurse, nurse, practitioner, medical assistant. You know,
you need all of us, basically, it takes all of us in
this whole continuum of care for yourpatient. But um, it's just a
different discipline. You know, wehave different practices that we practiced under,
(42:07):
like under the Nursing Practice Act.But like I said, it takes all
of us in the ecosystem for healthcare. Yeah, speaking of taking a village,
I think people found out a wholenew respect for the nursing industry and
nurses at large during coviddemic and yourbusiness and your the need for what you
do in your service. M yousaw an extreme influx of occupying that space
(42:31):
during the pandemic. Can you talkto me a little bit about that season
and how you were able to kindof show up. Well, that's when
I went traveling, you know,I went traveling and I worked at different
hospitals because that need was there.Yeah. I did speak to one of
the CEOs of one of the majortraveling companies, and what she said was
(42:51):
that primarily it was African American nursesthat showed up, you know, and
a lot of people didn't know that. But we dropped everything, you know
what I mean, families and everythingto go serve. I see it like
a serving for the military. Butwe wasn't recognized as the same, you
know, if that makes sense.So if something happens now the military have
(43:14):
to go and they go and serve, they're recognized for that. You know.
The nurses were not at one pointwe were heroes. The next minute
it was like we were like zeros, you know, and that didn't feel
good to us as nurses. Youknow. It was just like we need
you right now, and then okay, thank you bye. Yeah, you
know, because I'm real big oneven right now, why aren't our student
(43:34):
loans being paid? They should bepaid for the service in the work that
we just did. Many of nursesfrontline lost their lives, lost family members,
you know, just like everyone else. But we could not stay home.
We could not. We had tobe there and be in place,
you know, and it was hard. It was very hard psychologically mentally,
(43:55):
it was very hard. I mean, of course physically right. But we
didn't get the praise in the acknowledgementthat we should have gotten during that time.
We were that front line and alot of people say, well,
what about this discipline, what aboutthat? I'm here to tell you as
a registered nurse as one of those, I'm one of those. We were
the backbone of COVID nineteen. Wow. Wow, I think that's like,
(44:21):
what do you think that is?Why do you think people were kind of
like making it seem like what you'resaying, like, oh, thank you
for your health. Carry on,now, like what is that? I
don't think they really recognize how muchwe have to endure and how much we
take. I don't think our professionagain, like I stated, is acknowledged,
you know, even for me forexample, having my doctorate and nursing.
(44:44):
Yeah, there's a lot of peoplewhen I was in California didn't even
know that nurses can have a doctoratedegree. They didn't know that, you
know. So again it's it's peoplebeing uninformed, you know about it.
They just think we just work atthe bedside, that's it. And everybody
just has a bach disagree and workon the bedside, you know, in
the hospital, in the d orICU. And it's so much more to
(45:05):
nursing. You have nurse managers,you have nurse consultants, you have,
like I said, now nurse entrepreneurs. You know, for years, you
have nursing instructors. You know,it's so much nursing is so broad,
like it's so much to do.And again I don't think that respect was
there, that respect. I mean, your nurse educators are not being paid
what they should be paid, andthey're teaching the science of nursing, you
(45:30):
know, a whole other topic.Like nurse practitioners here in Georgia, you
know, they don't have full authorityto practice, where in California they do.
Why not they bridge the gap?Like they have to have a medical
doctor that they're working, you know, in collaboration with. But why why
(45:51):
because the medical doctors, right,they won't release that to the nurse practitioners
so that they can care. Whywhat is what? That's a real thing.
That's a real thing. And they'rein different states. And like I
said, even in California, butin California is one of the hardest states
when it comes to nursing. Itis like they gave me the runaround trying
(46:13):
to get my license in California.They wanted me to go back to my
associate degree. I'm like, Ihave a doctorate in nursing. You really
want me to pull all this?Yes they do, but even they have
full practice authority as nurse practitioners.Yes, And so that's why I said,
it's just so much work that hasto be done in the nursing field,
(46:34):
and the respect has to be there. It has to be there.
I think, you know, someof it came during COVID. You know,
but then you had nurses who didn'tbelieve in you know, getting the
vaccine, and that was a wholedifferent thing right right there. There was
a fight. There was a shiftright there between nurses and healthcare. Oh,
some nurses don't believe in this andthey're not, you know, promoting
the vaccine. Some of them are. But that's a right, you know,
(46:59):
just because that you took an oathto be a nurse. That's not
me that you you one hundred percentbelieve in everything when it comes to science.
You have that right. Yeah,you know, you have that right.
So um, but we'll get there, We'll get there. Yeah.
I think it's important too because peoplelike you get on, you know,
to have these platforms and be ableto use your voice in this way to
(47:22):
educate people and to inform them onthis you know culture that we're not,
you know, totally acclimated with.It's very very important for you, you
know, because you've already been akind of you've already been able to accomplish
a lot um, having ten kids, being this super mom speaker, incredible
(47:42):
business that you're running. What isthe endgame for you? Right when you
think about or visualize you at thepeak of your success. What does that
look like? I think about thatall the time, to be honest with
you, and it changes. Youknow, at some point I want to
have multiple businesses, right, butthen the real me, like my heart,
(48:05):
I want to have one organization wherewomen can come and they can have
a voice. That's really what Iwant, you know, I want to
be this renowned household name. Youknow, everyone knows doctor Ebony. They're
gonna know you with ten kids,Like that's the thing they could not forget
with the ten kids. And it'sfunny because that came to me at a
(48:27):
mastermind that I was at. Iwas at a Mastermind listening to doctor Delatoro
and he said, this is abouta year and a half ago, and
he said, what is the thingthat makes you different than everyone else?
And it just came to me.It was like a lightbulb, right,
that went off. Anybody could bea motivational speaker, anybody can be an
author, yea. Anyone could bean entrepreneur, right, but everyone doesn't
(48:51):
have ten children and doing all ofthat. And so the lightbulb went off
and I was like, that's it, that's it. In the moment it
gets to media or whatever. Whenthey see that, that's what sets me
apart, yeah, you know,And so I love to share that story,
but also to be a motivation andencouragement to other women that might just
have one right, one thing andthey're like, I can't do it,
(49:14):
I can't do it as too much. They may not even have children,
but they want to birth something right, a vision that they have, and
I can. I can encourage themwith my life story. It's my experience
is to say you got it,you can do it. If I can
do it, so can you,you know. And so that is my
vision, just to be able tohelp as many women as I can,
(49:35):
as I can, and I'm like, God, please make me a multi
millionaire. My husband says, I'mgonna lose it all because I'm gonna give
it all the way to everybody.But that's my heart, you know what
I mean. I'm gonna get mea couple of cards, a couple of
houses, but I'm gonna give itaway. Yeah, because that's my heart.
I'm a true servant, you know. And so um I just want
to give. I just want tobe able to get other people to the
next level, just like I was. Wow, Well, I think You're
(49:59):
gonna to continue to go up andup and thank you. Um. You're
on a really good trajectory already.Like you said, you have the capacity
and the hard space to be ableto give. So I know God is
going to continue to bless you.Thank tenfold. And that's not a pun
on the kids already. I reallylove your story. I love what you're
(50:21):
doing. I love the messaging behindwhat you got going on. If people
want to kind of tap into thespa um and even buy your book or
learn a little bit about more aboutyour story, how can they do that?
My website so doctor ebeny Um.It's www Doctor d r ebeny e
b o n ee dot com.The book is also on Amazon um The
(50:42):
Grit, the Grind, and theGlory, and it's also available on my
website as well. Wow, thereit is. Thank you so much for
coming on the show. I look, are you done, doll? Are
you done with having kids? Orwe having work? We's got a dog?
That's enough? Okay, No,no, no, no. Ten
is a good solid number. Thatis it. And I don't have any
grandkids, thank God, because Itold my kids, I'm like I'm gonna
(51:05):
be the worst grandmother. Never I'mnot really, but I'm like, no,
yeah, let me live now.Yeah, I'm living right now,
let me live. Keep living.I'm living. Good job. Thank you,
thank you for being there. Thankyou. Peace,
I didn't understand. Do you rememberthe first day that you were considered quote
(00:05):
unquote homeless, Yes, tell meabout that day. That was the day
that I realized that I could notreach into my person pull a key out
to go into a home or anapartment. And that's when it really hit
me and I just like burst outin tears. And my kids were at
the park. They were at thepark, they were playing, and I
was in my car, like Ireally don't have a key, you know
what I mean, Like it reallyhit me, like, oh my god.
(00:28):
But I had to be strong,you know what I mean. I
had to be strong for my kidsand just see it through because I'm like,
look at it, like the glasshalf full. At least you're in
your car and you're not under abridge, And so that helped me to
get through as well. Welcome toanother episode of Finding Your Niche with Niche.
(01:10):
I'm your host, Nisha Rodgers,and across from Me is another dynamic
powerhouse of a woman who has anincredible story and incredible journey. But she's
found her niche in the nursing industryand she's got a lot of things to
kind of unpack because her story isphenomenal. So welcome to the show.
Thank you, doctor Ebony Grisham,Thank you, thank I'm so excited to
(01:33):
speak with you. Okay, soI get a lot of different women on
here who are doing an incredible amountof things. We learned off camera,
y'all that we actually have something incommon. We both have daughters and they
have the same name, Yes,Royal. Okay, so talk to me
about the inception of you figuring outthat's what I want to name my daughter.
Oh wow, all right. So, being a mom y of nine
(01:57):
children, my husband came up withthe idea that he wanted to have another
child because he has all boys,so we have a blended family. Okay,
Right, So I had six children, he had two, and then
he wanted to have more children.So we had a boy, and then
he wanted a daughter, and Ithought he was absolutely crazy. I was
like, are you crazy? Right? And so I prayed about it,
(02:19):
yeah, and God said give hima child. So I went back to
my husband. I said, nowyou know, it's a fifty fifty chance
that this can be a boy,right, and he's like yes, So
any who, we went ahead.We conceived right, real easy. Yes,
you see I am fertile myrtle.Yes, And when I found out
it was a girl, I gavehim a party and I prayed about it,
and I named her Royal because sheis his princess. She is his
(02:42):
princess. And her middle name isDivine because she is definitely divine. It
was divine order for her to behere. Okay, So that was that
was a beautiful story. I thinkone of the biggest things I think that
we should have an asterisk by isthe number that you gave, right,
I think that I was I onlyhave one, okay, so how many
(03:04):
kids do you have? Ten?Ten kids? Ten? Total? Wow?
Yes? What is what is lifelike? And how do you just
say it? So like, oh, I have ten kids? Yeah?
How do you just say? Youknow? Cosby show, The Gresham Show.
Yeah. So they ranged from sixto twenty six. I had my
first daughter when I was sixteen,so I was a teen mom and then
(03:25):
they just started coming. And Ieven look at my kids to this day
and I'm like, where did youcome from? Yeah? Again, I
birthed eight and two are my bonuschildren. Their mom passed away when they
were young. They were very small. They're eighteen and twenty three now they
were about five and you know,seven or eight at the time, and
um, their mom passed away frombreast cancer and so of course we you
(03:46):
know, we got custody of them, and I've been in their lives ever
since, and so God trusted mewith more right now. So that's how
I have ten. Oh my goodness. Okay, what is life like as
a mother of ten? Where doI start? Um? Crazy, that's
what I can say. It's fun, but it's crazy, okay. Um,
(04:08):
they keep me on my toes.They're all different, you know,
they have different personalities, Um,different ages. Obviously it's seven boys and
three girls. Um, but it'scrazy, it's really crazy. It's like
it helps me in the management field, I will say that. So like
when I manage people, I'm like, oh I got this because at home
it's just like this. Yeah,it's like it's crazy, but um,
(04:30):
it's a blessing. It truly isa blessing because they keep me on my
toes and um, they're all justdifferent and I have a favorite child every
day, a different one option option. It depends on like what they do,
you know what I mean, Likeit's conditional, okay, and they
fight about like, oh, no, I'm the favorite. No, I'm
(04:53):
the favorite. I'm like, no, not today, you're not. Yeah,
royalists. Yeah, but she's alwaysa favorite because she's an ances.
It was always his favorite. Yeah, she's the only kid. And the
funny thing is I was an onlychild. Wow. So when you get
to five kids, you don't whatmakes you say, Okay, I'm going
to commit to having another one becausethat's a lot of responsibility. One is
(05:15):
a lot, Yes, it is, so I wouldn't. My story goes,
I didn't necessarily commit to having more. It was just I got impregnated,
and when I got pregnant, Idid not want to have more abortions.
You know, I had. Ihad two abortions, you know.
And so at that point, Iwas like, I can't keep I can't
keep doing this, you know.This is what I decided to do.
Of course, this is my youngeryears. Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm
(05:38):
nineteen twenty years old and just livingfree, too free, you know,
And so at that point I justdecided to make sure that if that's what
I did, I'm keeping my kids. You know what I'm saying, I'm
keeping my kids, and I'll justdeal with I wasn't a single mom,
you know, I will say,but I mean I was able to make
it through. I'm pulling through.Speaking of making it through, pulling through
(05:59):
your story is incredible. And let'sbacktrack to one of the biggest headlines that
people will come across if they kindof look into your story. Is you
going from being homeless mother of sixto powerhouse ceo, you know, very
profitable business. Talk to me aboutthat story, right, How do you
end up homeless? So I wasliving in poverty obviously, Like I'm a
(06:23):
single mom, you know what Imean, I have six children, I'm
in nursing school, I'm on welfare, I'm on Wick girl, food stamps,
medica, anything you got we needed, you know, and so but
the math wasn't math in you knowwhat I'm saying. This is when you're
making what seven dollars an hour?You know, I think the most I
made was ten dollars an hour.But you know how much housing costs.
(06:44):
You know, I have food stamps, but I had to sell food stamps
in order to pay bills and thingslike that. So I was evicted from
place to place to place, untileventually that eviction led to me being homeless
and having nowhere to go. Andwhen you say homeless, what level of
homeless, because there's a lot ofversions of what people will consider home,
the level of living in my truckwith my kids, six kids. We
(07:05):
were literally in the back of Walmartin my truck with six kids. I
couldn't sleep, you know. AndI did call on them, the different
shelters, but they told me thatthey didn't have room from my family size,
that was one thing I heard.Or they just didn't have room for
us. One of the shelters actuallytold me, well, m we don't
(07:29):
have anyone here that has a vehicle. And I'm like, huh, you
know, because like you said,there's different levels, right, So they're
taking like real like on the street, on the street, right, But
we're on the street because all Ihave is my is my truck. You
know. I had an expedition backthen, very old, raggedy expedition,
but it was mine. That's allthat I had, you know. Um,
(07:49):
And I was just like, whatdo you mean? And then one
one place said, well, youdon't look like you're homeless, and I
said, what does homelessness look like? There's people with PhDs that are homeless.
You know. So that's how weended up in my car. I
think my New York Pride would notlet me, you know, go,
and like panhandle. I was like, we're writing this out, you know,
at least we're in this car.Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
(08:11):
And do your kids at that time, Like, do you think your
children were able to understand the levelof homelessness that you're speaking about? Do
they understand? Know? At thetime? I don't think so, because
I would do things like take themto the park, you know, until
it got dark outside and let themplay. For a child, that's amazing,
you know, like oh at thepark, you know what I mean.
(08:33):
Or we would go to the libraryor something like that, or just
because we were together, I don'tthink they really understood, you know what
I mean. We were together,so they didn't understand it. Do you
remember the first day that you wereconsidered quote unquote homeless? Yes, tell
me about that day. That wasthe day that I realized that I could
not reach into my purse and pullthe key out to go into at home
(08:54):
or an apartment. And that's whenit really hit me and I just like
burst out in tea and my kidswere at the park. They were at
the park, they were playing,and I was in my car, like
I really don't have a key,you know what I mean. Like it
really hit me, like oh mygod. But I had to be strong,
you know what I mean. Ihad to be strong for my kids
and just see it through because I'mlike, look at it, like the
(09:16):
glass half full. At least you'rein your car and you're not under a
bridge. And so that helped meto get through as well. So where
is the help? Why don't youhave help? Why are you living out
of your car? Is there noone for you to go and say can
I sleep here? Can we come? And you know, be here for
a couple of weeks, a coupleof months. No support system, no
(09:37):
support system. I mean baby dadis called them, you know, called
them and they're like, oh,we can't help. What do you mean
you can't help? Can you takeyour kids? I'm not doing well right
now, you know what I mean? No help, No help from three
different fathers, no help at all, not from their families. They were
not active in my children's lives.You know. The only help we Dick,
(09:58):
it was from a mega church inAtlanta, actually in Lathonia. They
did eventually help us, and wewere out in my car for about three
and a half weeks in my car, and then I would continue to go
to church every Sunday. I'm gonnago to church. And then the pastor
came out, one of the bishops. He came out. I don't know
if I can name who it is, but he came out. He saw
(10:20):
my stuff in my car and mykids and was like, oh, absolutely
not, absolutely not. And theyput us into a hotel up on Panola
Road for about about two weeks.We were in the hotel until I could
find a place, and then Ifound a place and they paid for it
for about two months for us andgot us off the street. Oh my,
what level of humbleness did you haveto take on to find yourself in
(10:48):
this predicament where you have three kids, You're living out of your car,
there is no help externally and kidssix kids? Yeah, can you talk
to me about the humility that youhad to kind of during that time?
Yeah? It was very humbling becauseI wasn't raised like that, you know
what I mean, Like I wasan only child. My mom gave me
everything. I was a straight Astudent, I wasn't raised like this.
(11:11):
My mom was deceased you know atthe time, and so it was really
hard for me. No one tocall on. My father and I don't
have a close relationship, you know. His thing was, well, just
come back to Buffalo, and I'mlike, I'm not. I'm in nursing
school. I cannot leave at thispoint to go backwards. Very humbling.
I would actually pick women up onthe street. If I would see them
at like the bus stop and it'sraining or it's freezing cold, I would
(11:35):
pick them up and take them towhere they were going. And that that's
just my heart. You know,I'm a very giving person. That was
all I had to give, youknow, and I know what discernment God
would tell me to help them,you know, to help them out food
stamps. I would take my kids. We're going in the store. They're
buying everything. Imagine I got awhole lot of the food stamps, girl,
like with six kids. So thatwas their joy, you know,
(11:56):
to go and get a whole bunchof snacks because you know, kids love
snacks, right. I let themget whatever they want to get. But
that was my way of giving tothem because I couldn't give to them financially,
you know. Um, Craigslist wasmy favorite thing at the time,
was Craigslist, you know, whereI could buy use items, but my
children didn't know they were used,you know, because we couldn't do birthdays
or I couldn't get you know,Christmas gifts or brand new Nintendo and things
(12:22):
like that a PSP. So wego on you know, Craigslist and we
will find things so very humbling,very humbling. But I will say it
taught me to survive. It waslike survival of the fittest, and only
the strong survive. And here Iam surviving and thriving and thriving. Yes,
um, I love that. Okay, So can you kind of like
(12:43):
walk me through the day now whereyou decide I'm gonna come out of this.
I'm gonna redeem myself. I stillhave a story to tell. I
want to change things around. Howdid you pull yourself out of that hole?
I mean, I could just sayabout the grace of God, that's
really it. Honestly, it washard. It was hard. I'm not
gonna kid you and make it seemlike it was so easy. You know,
(13:07):
I just made a plan and thisit just you know, happened.
It came into fruition. No,absolutely not. I had days where I
was literally on the floor crying,like in depression. Now was I diagnosed
clinically, No, But now Iknow that's what I was going through,
you know what I mean. Butagain, I had to be in survival
mold to still get up and takecare of my kids the next day,
(13:28):
you know what I mean. Soit's like you didn't even have time to
be depressed, really because you hadto every day find an answer. And
so it came to me when,like I said, I was in nursing
school and I'm like, I can'tgo home. So that was the easy
thing to go back home to Buffalobecause that's where my family is in Buffalo,
and I'm like, I'm not,I'm not going back. I had
(13:50):
some issues at home when my mompassed away with my family, and I'm
like, I don't want to goback there ever again. And that was
the day that I made my decisionthat I was going to stay and work
it out, get through it.You know. I ended up felling nursing
school. Honestly, I felt nursingschool the very first home I felt my
med search class. By two points. I didn't find out to the last
day of the class to clinical everythingtwo point two. So I ran away
(14:16):
in humiliation, like, oh mygod. But I had so much going
on, you know what I'm sayingFrom the kids too. It was just
crazy. Yeah, And I hadto wait an entire year to get back
in the program, one whole yearto get back into the program to do
it all over again. But bythe grace of God, I passed with
a bee the second time because Itold my kids, I was like,
(14:37):
look, as long as y'all burnthis house down, you know, this
is what we have to do.Yes, you know, my oldest child,
unfortunately, and it happens, youknow, in the African American community,
she had to help take care ofthe smaller kids, you know what
I mean. My mom was outat clinical and I started working at Grady
Hospital. I was a patient caretech. You know. It wasn't making
(14:58):
a lot, but it was something, you know what I mean, and
m we pulled through. It wasrough. Yeah, I think speaking of
you know, your daughter having akind of you know, hold some of
the weight, so to speak,for the household. I think one of
the most magical things about kids ishow they can kind of lift us up
in a moment and just being theirnatural beautiful spirit, feel joy, feel
(15:20):
self in the middle of our desperation. Can you think of a time where
one of your children told you somethingthat kind of like served as a catalyst
for you to keep going? Yes, yes, yes, yes, um.
I'll give you two times that justcame to me. So one was
my second oldest daughter. We weredriving and there was a young lady.
This was during these hard times.There was a young lady on the side
(15:41):
of the road and she's like,oh, Mom, you didn't get her
because she was so used to mepicking women up. Yeah, She's like,
oh, you didn't get hurt.And I'm like cooh, and I'm
like, where is she? Youknow? And so I backed up and
I saw her at the bus stopand I picked her up, you know.
And there was another time here recentlywhere she said to me it was
a song, a gospel song thatshe remembers me playing when they were young
(16:02):
and going through this, and yes, and she said um. And she
I actually posted it on Facebook andon Instagram because I didn't know. You
don't realize that children are watching andthey're listening and they're memorizing and they you
know, this is a part ofthem, and you just don't realize that.
I don't know. And so shegoes, I remember hearing you play
this song when we were in thehotel. Now she's twenty three now and
(16:25):
she sent this to me, andI'm telling you, I just burst in
tears, like, oh my god, what's the song? Encourage yourself?
Encourage yourself. I want to sayit's tried City, but it's encourage yourself
in the Lord. Why. Yes, how impactful? Oh my god.
I'm sure that meant a lot toyou. Yeah? Did um? Okay,
(16:47):
So let's fast forward a little bitabout some of your current success today
and what you've been able to accomplish. You're also an author and then you
also have a spa. Yes,can you talk to me a little bit
about that, and like, youknow, just your philosophy around having just
these different holistic approaches to health andwellness and why that's so important important to
you. Well. I believe thatyou know wellness, especially being a nurse
(17:10):
right to being a nurse, fingermom, being a natural nurturer. I
think wellness starts from the inside,and it's the inside out and This is
why, for one, I wrotethe book. This is why I coach
women. You know, we talkabout mental health, we go through things
of personal development. It starts fromthe inside. You know. You can
you can put on makeup and youcan mask yourself very well, right,
but you just don't know what peopleare going through on the inside. Now,
(17:33):
once we get that together, Iopened up the SPA because also the
outside you want to feel beautiful,you know, and so we do body
contrent to you know, help youto lose some weight and lose some inches.
We do wood therapy for women whoelect to have cosmetic surgery. You
know, the nurses come, theytake care of you. We do the
foot detox, the Yanni steams,you know, teeth whitening, and so
(17:56):
that goes from the inside and nowthe outside. Ye we work on the
outside. And for me it wasjust anything. I absolutely don't like bedside
nursing any longer because I was anED nurse and when I was not girl,
they like work you to death,you know what I mean, Like
they work death. They don't wantto pay you any money, like you're
getting paid janitor's money. And it'slike I went to school for this,
(18:19):
Like I can kill you or keepyou alive, and this is what you
want to pay me? Like no, and then all the money goes to
the doctor. But you're here forIt's not making sense. It ain't making
sense to me. I'm like,I can't, I can't. I just
can't do it. So becoming anentrepreneur to do something that I love to
do, which is to take careof people. Right, Um, what's
(18:41):
the best thing ever? And soopening my spot, I'm just able to
give in a way that I cando with my discipline as a registered nurse.
I love that. That's fascinating.Talk to me about how you've been
able to kind of navigate that entrepreneurshipright, because I always think it's interesting
too when you can do one oftwo roles in an industry, you know
or under an entity where you canstill operate under you know, as being
(19:03):
a nurse, but then also creatingyour own establishment where you can kind of
like still do your own thing,but it's still in the same vein of
what you love to do. Right, talk to me about when you made
the decision to become an entrepreneur anda little bit about the entrepreneurs journey.
So I got fired from a corporatejob. I've never been fired before,
so I was like, yeah,y'all find me like me, you know.
(19:25):
And it was something so small andminute. But the thing was I
was at the top. I wasa nursing manager, and so a lot
of times incorporate that's what they're comingfor, the top person, right,
So anything that happens with your directreports, they're gonna blame you. And
it hurts so bad because I gaveso much of my time right away from
my family and just to this jobfor them to do that to me.
(19:48):
And so when COVID hit, Ibegan to travel and some of the nurses
were telling me about travel nursing andthey're like, yeah, you can make
ten thirteen thousand dollars a week.And I'm like yeah, lying, like
I'm playing with me. And whenI got terminated, I was like,
let me see, I had nochoice, right, So it kind of
catapulted me to to do that,and so I went traveling. I was
(20:08):
in Texas, I was in Californiamaking this money. This is so,
this is a real thing. Thisis a real thing. I saw you
said a week a week and Ididn't have to like be a drug dealer
or do anything like that. Iwas like, oh my gosh, like
this is legal, you know.And and then I was a lead nurse
at the same time, so Iwas managing um I actually you know,
(20:29):
it was on NBC News for it. I had two hundred nurses up under
me during COVID two hundred and I'mlike, too much is given, much
is required And it was just solike rejuvenating for me, especially to feel
like this and then to like,now God is saying I'm gonna put you
in front of the world for themto see, right um, And it
(20:52):
was amazing. And so with that, I'm like, Okay, so what
are we gonna do with this?So I'm telling my husband, like what
are we gonna do with all thismoney? And so it's just I saw
that. My question is like,Okay, now that it's coming, what's
next, because you know it's notgonna be forever, you know what I'm
saying. And so I would seea lot of nursing, a lot of
nurse entrepreneurs on Instagram and I'm tappingin and I'm like, they're doing med
spots, They're doing scrub, Yeah, Ye're doing like all type of stuff.
(21:15):
You know, consulting. I waslike, I can do that.
So I started putting my money asidefor that, and my husband and I
talked about it, and that's whenI was like, you know what,
I'm going to open my own business. I'm gonna open my own business and
nobody can fire me because I'm myown boss. But I love being able
to employ other people. I dolove that and just have that freedom with
(21:36):
my time. You know, Idon't have to ask anybody anymore. Can
I have a day off with myfamily? You know what I'm saying that
I said, I just hate bedsidenursing. But that's just me. Yeah,
that's just me. I hate toask someone else. And then they
put a cap on your salary.As an entrepreneur, there's no cap.
I can. I can work asmuch as I want, you know what
I mean. And because because mycap is anywhere between a hundred K maybe
(22:00):
one thirty Yeah, yeah, asan entrepreneur, you can make as much
as you want to. Right,So that right there it was pivotal for
me and I just was like,this is it? Yeah? And speaking
of like this is it? Howdo you know? Though? Right?
Because you know, finding your nicheniche. I'll like to talk to people
who figure out they're laying they're callingtheir niche. You know specifically, How
(22:22):
did you know though, that itis supposed to be in this industry?
Is like what I'm supposed to do. I had several people to reach out
to me on social media or onmy website or come to my spa.
I meant a lot of people whocame to the spa and they were just
like, oh my gosh, thisis so nice. The one thing they
would always say is how it feltwhen they walked in. It was so
peaceful. It was so calm,It was so serene, And that's what
(22:45):
I wanted. That was a partof my vision. And so for them
to say that to me when theywalk in, they don't know each other.
Multiple people those connections, and andfor me, I just get like
chill bumps when I talk to certainpeople and you just have chemistry. You
know what I'm saying with them andwhat you're doing for them. They leave
out they feel so good. Theycome back multiple times. They refer people
(23:08):
you know that you're operating in yourgifts. Yeah, the example real life
examples coming back to you and talkingto you about what do you say,
you know, what is the messagethat you're trying to tell to your kids?
Right, because now you have tokind of look at ten purposes that
are going to come under yours.What kind of messaging do you have about
(23:30):
that following your dreams, you know, in the face of adversity and being
able to succeed. Right when youthink about where you've come from to where
you are, now, what kindof message would you give to them about
following after your dreams? So Iwould say we felt out about that,
right because as you see, I'mlike a girl. I'm a student always.
I love school. That's me,right. My kids don't. They're
(23:52):
like this new generation. They're like, I'm not going to college. And
I'm like what, because that's howI was raised. You know, you're
going to college eighteen your sol boom, You're off. You see what I'm
saying, Like I was at HowardUniversity at eighteen. My kids are like,
I don't want to go to college, and I'm like, when you're
gonna do something? So we headedout about that, I'll be honest.
So now I'm okay, your kidsdon't go to college. Okay, Now
(24:12):
I'm all right because there's other thingsthat they can do. Yes, you
know. And then I had torealize, if that's not your thing,
why am I going to waste moneyand waste time and you go get this
degree and you do nothing with it. And now I'd have spent thirty forty
thousand on this university for no reason. So I had to come to that
realization. You know what I meanas their mom, So I'm good now.
(24:33):
But I have a daughter that's abarber. I have a daughter that's
a makeup artist. My thing tothem is, regardless of what you want
to do, be the best atit, like rock out, be the
best at it. Don't just bemediocre. Don't just be average on it.
Own it. If you want tobe a makeup artist, own it,
have your own studio. You understandwhat I'm saying, Like, don't
(24:53):
and I'm not saying don't work forsomeone, but have a plan to where
you own your own stuff. Yeah, you're the business owner, you're the
CEO, you run your entire career. That's good. Yeah. Have you
ever had anybody to tell you thathaving teen kids is irresponsible? Girl?
(25:14):
I don't care what people say.That's why I wrote my book. They
would never tell me that. Butpeople may think that, you know,
especially before I became doctor. Likewith the doctor, people respect you more,
you know. So it's fortunate,but unfortunate before that, yes,
like somebody like my dad, right, he would say that, you know,
(25:36):
like why do you have all thesekids? Now he's the same person.
Oh, my daughter is a doctor, you know what I mean?
And my daughter is business like?Oh really? But what about when I
was struggling and I needed your help? Right? You made me feel like
this. You didn't help me.You didn't help me because of the past
mistakes that I've made, you know, and again I didn't have necessarily the
(25:56):
guidance. A lot comes with that, It's in my book. You know,
a lot comes with that, fromthe childhood traumas you know, to
psychological things that go on with you, to you becoming a mom at sixteen
years old. You're a child yourself, right, So you're you're gonna make
mistakes. You're gonna make mistakes.I lost my mom at an early age.
That was my primary support system.So again you're gonna continue to make
(26:18):
mistakes. I didn't get a chanceto grieve properly. Now you're making more
mistakes. You know, you're lookingfor love and all the wrong places.
Daddy was never there. So allof that, yes, leads to you
had a lot of kids, youknow. But I will say I might
not have even been here on thiscouch today if I didn't have my children,
(26:40):
especially like when my mom passed.You know, they were everything for
me. They were my reason.They were my why when I was homeless.
They were my why why do youkeep going? Why do you not
give up? If I didn't havethem, I probably would have gave up.
I probably wouldn't even be here.Yeah, that's incredible. Were you
close with your mom very Okay?I'm close with my mom too, very
(27:02):
much. I was the only child. It was just me, you know
what I mean, And and forme to be her only girl and her
baby um very close. And atthe time I was like really upset with
God, like why, you knowwhat I mean, why take her?
And that's all that I have?You know what I mean? But uma?
Was you miss most about your mom? Just being able to talk to
her, you know during hard times? Do you want to make me cry
(27:22):
right now? No? I misseverything about her, you know, just
she didn't get a chance to seeall of the kids. She didn't in
chest see me graduate to get married, you know what I mean. Like
I had a big picture of heron the front seat at my wedding,
you know, and I knew itwas there, but it was something about
the song that I played at mywedding. Um Kelly Price. He proposed
(27:44):
to me. And there's a partin the song where she talks about calling
her mother to tell her that she'syou know, he proposed to her,
and I broke down. You're gotto make you want to make me?
And my son gave me a way, like my oldest son gave me a
way. So we're walking and he'sholding my arm, and that part when
the song came, and girl,it was like a wind that went past
me during that right at that partwhen she's talking about calling her mother,
(28:08):
and I just broke down. Andmy son, he was only twelve at
the time, he's looking at meand he's like, are you okay?
Because he you know, we didn'tplaying for that, you know what I
mean, we didn't planning for thatpart. And I was like, yes,
I'm okay. I was like givingme a second because I knew she
was there. Yeah, I knewshe was there, you know. Yeah,
but I missed that, you know, I missed being able to show
her. Look, I made anact of food, you know what I
(28:29):
mean, made support choices. Andshe always loved me. Never just she
had cuts me out, Yeah,you know she did. My mom was
a drill sergeant in the army,so she had cussed me out. Yeah,
she loved me. Yeah. Youknow, regardless of how many kids
I had, she couldn't have anymore children besides me. So I people
say that I had my kids frommy mother, you know. And so
um she would always say, whatyou're gonna do? Every time I called
(28:51):
her, I'm pregnant again, whatyou're gonna do? You know, I'm
my baby, you know what Imean. So Um, I think just
having her there, ying her thereand seeing these seeing me now those monumental
moments where I want her to bethere, when I crossed that stage and
they say, you know, doctorEbony, Congressia, I would have loved
(29:11):
her to be there to see that. But of course she's there in spirit.
Yeah. Sure. What would yousay, like, out of all
the things that you've kind have beenable to accomplish, you know, with
all of the different acoletes you hadall of you know what your kids have
been able to impart into your life, the value that they've added. Because
you've done so many different things.What is it that you are most proud
(29:32):
of? I would say keeping mykids together. And what I mean by
that is some women go through stuffand I've had defects called on me by
family members when you should have actually, if you felt that way and thought
something was wrong, you should havetook these kids as a family member.
If you're my cousin, right,you're my aunt, take the kids,
(29:55):
don't you know, subject them tobeing with just anybody if anything could happen.
Sac But wasn't nothing wrong. Itwas just them being ugly, you
know. So I would say Iprobably myself on keeping my kids through it
all. Yeah, every last oneof them. You know, they got
to see the grid, the grindand the glory. Baby. Okay.
(30:21):
So if somebody's like, okay,I want to start, you know,
I want to do like doctor avAny, I want to start a spawn,
Right, what are kind of thefirst steps to doing that? Because
it's that's a big feet, right, something that's like brick and mortars.
One thing to have like an onlinebusiness or like, but when you have
a physical space and like continuing tokeep business generating and traffic flowing like through
there um, how do you actuallydo that with? What would you say
(30:45):
are some of the first steps tostarting a business or Number one, do
your research. That's any business,right, Do your research, No,
your demographics, know your niche likewho are you? Who are you?
Who's your business for? H areyou talking to? What is your target
audience? You know what I mean? Like it's not it can't be for
everybody, Yeah, you know,and knowing that this is your purpose.
(31:07):
Don't just do it because it's ahype it's something you're seeing on social media.
Knowing that it's your purpose, becausethere's gonna be days and times that
Okay, today you made some moneyand tomorrow you didn't. But you had
to be able to weather that stormas an entrepreneur, you know. And
like I said, just doing yourresearch, knowing you know, especially if
like a SPA or something like that, knowing your state regulations. It's important,
(31:30):
knowing your scope. Are you anLPN, Are you a CNA?
Are you an RN? Are youan MP? Do you need a medical
provider? You know? For thedifferent things that you want to do.
That's very important as well having ateam because you can't do it all by
yourself. I had to learn thatright having a team, you need to
have your cmrs. Everything has tohave the process seas in place, and
if you don't, it's gonna justfall apart. Yeah, and you're gonna
(31:52):
be overwhelmed. Yeah, you know, but you got to have those process
seas in place. So it takessteps. I would say, most importantly,
have a mentor. Have a mentor. You're the second person to say
that how important that is. It'simportant because it's like a GPS that gets
you straight there. You know whatI'm saying, Like, you don't have
(32:12):
to have the pitfalls. We don'thave time for that. You know what
I'm saying, You don't. Youdon't have time to go on what they
call it a Google university of university. Get you a mentor that you look
up to and they're doing what youwant to do, and they can give
you the dudes and don't they cangive you the things that they did.
My mentor to the same thing,She's like, we're not gonna do this.
We're not gonna do that because andI'm A. I'm a why person.
(32:35):
Why don't Why aren't we doing that? You know what I'm saying.
And so she would explain to me, well, if you do this,
this is what happens. And I'mlike, ah, and the light bulb
comes on. Yeah, but here'sthe blueprint, and that mentor that coach
gives you that blueprint you execute yoursuccessful WHOA, that's really good game.
Um. With that being said,though, what would you say was one
(32:57):
of the biggest and best investments thatyou made into your journey as being an
entrepreneur. I would say probably investingin my team. Investing in my team
because they are loyal to doctor ebone. They are faithful and committed to doctor
Ebdey, and I couldn't ask formore. They were faithful even when they
(33:17):
weren't on payroll. That's faithful andthat's commitment, you know. And that
was the turning point when God waslike, you got to pay these people.
Yeah you know they love you,Yes, they do, but my
gift back to them is their serviceand I had to pay them and compensate
them for that. But they helpedme so much because I was on like
(33:37):
Camba, trying to figure stuff outand that's not my niche like at all,
Like it was horrible. It lookslike you know, Royal was doing
it, you know what I'm saying, But to hire your team that can
take this over and do it inboom boom boom and you know an hour
it's done. You know, Ialways wonder this, like what kind of
like what with you saying that justnow? It also makes me think,
(33:58):
you know, which one comes firstwhen it comes to generating revenue. Does
the revenue come first when you startthe business and then you hire a team
or does the revenue come when youhire a team and then the money starts
coming in the take For me,the team is going to help you generate
the revenue okay, okay, andfaster, quicker and more. Your VA
(34:22):
is going to help you, rightWhoever you have, you know what I'm
saying. Your social media manager,your personal assistant, whatever I have,
all of that they help. That'spart of that investment. You got to
take that risk on you, youknow what I mean. And that's part
of the investment that you have toput in before you get out. How
do you get to that point though? Because I feel like a lot of
(34:43):
people are like, ah, Idon't really have the capacity or the money
to pay other people. So Numberone, like my mentor told me,
it's not about the money. It'sinvestment. See I was looking at it
even myself and then beginning wrong,and I'm like, how much is that?
And how much you charge? It'snot that, it's the investment.
It's the investment. If you lookat it like an investment, you won't
(35:04):
look at it like I'm paying acharge or a fee, because that's what
an investment it's gonna do. It'sgonna come back right tenfold to you.
Yeah. So you have to investin your business. It's no different in
marketing, right, you have topay for the marketing. That's your investment,
and then the people will come,then the leads will come, but
you paid for it first. Yeah, so you have to pay for it
(35:28):
for saying the rest comes. Yes, And it's a mindset thing, you
know, Like I said, notlooking at it like the fee that you're
paying or how much is this?It's the investment. You have to change
your mind and once you change yourmind, everything else will, you know,
fall in place. You have toinvest. You have to invest it.
You can't look at it like Idon't have the money. Okay,
well you're not ready to be anentrepreneur. You're not ready. That plan
(35:53):
is simple, that's it, that'sall. You're not ready. Even if
it's five hundred dollars, you gotto invest it. I mean, people
are out here paying that for wigs. Come on now and it guess what
they say? That wig is gonnalast you for four years. You see
what I'm saying. But that wasan investment. You know that ain't cheap.
(36:13):
But that's not cheap. Some ofthem is more than that. Yeah,
right, but it's an investment.You're looking at the longevity of it.
I wish people could see that,right, that's very powerful what you
just said. Like, I wishpeople can see the similarities between investing in
a five ye in the VA oran intern whatever it may be, for
(36:34):
that same price. Right, Wow, what do you think that is?
Why can't people correlate that with business? Why does it not transfer? Because
it's the mindset, it's your mindset, and it's also to me, it's
as stubbornness because it's what you want. You will pay for what you want.
You know, Like I had someoneasked me today, how do you
(36:57):
go work? Out, where doyou find time with the kids? Businesses?
Because you find time for what youwant to find time for, You'll
make time. You'll make time.And it's the same thing with your business,
you know what I'm saying, likeinvesting, so, but how do
you get it? How do youturn the switch onto your in your mind
to work for what you need?When you get tired, when you keep
(37:17):
going to this corporate job and you'relike, I'm so tired of my boss,
I'm so tired of driving back andforce this location. Or you just
have this ambition and this goal andyou still never see it come. It's
like you've been pregnant with this thisvision for nine months and never delivered it.
You get tired. You keep scrollingon social media. You see everybody
(37:39):
else. Oh they're doing good,they're doing this, their business is flourishing,
they're doing it, and you gettired. But when is it your
time? When is it your time? Yeah, but you had to make
that time, Like today, it'smy time. I'm forget this week.
I'm taking this five hundred dollars andI'm investing it in the VA and the
(38:00):
coach. You know what I'm saying, Whatever it is, for my business
to start or to continue or togo to the next level. Yeah,
that mindset shift. Yes, wheredid you get that from? How are
you able to do that? Nuver? Why? My mama? My mama?
So coming up, I listened tom Les Brown. Okay with me,
you know that that was the thingin my household. My mom was
(38:21):
real big on like affirmations and stufflike that, and I appreciate that gift.
Now, I didn't understand it whenI was younger, you know what
I mean. I'm like, oh, it should go putting up stickers and
stuff around in the house, youknow what I mean. I'm taking them
down a little kid, you know. But now I get it. You
know, it makes sense because itdeveloped in it's the woman that I am
today. And now I see peopledo it and I'm like, I've been
(38:44):
doing this since I was six,but I didn't have an understanding of it.
Yeah, you know what I mean. So it started there, I
will say. The other thing isjust being in those spaces, getting in
those rooms where people are doing thesame thing, you know, like minded
individuals that are talking about stuff,and you're just like wow, and you're
not the smartest person in the room. You know that feels amazing. So
(39:07):
like I feel like I didn't knownone of this. Yeah I'm saying,
and said, walk away with someinformation right, um that can transcend to
my business and leaving a legacy formy family and my children. It was
just like, I don't know,It's just it was just it's just different.
It's just something totally different. Sothat's where it came from, where
you just get tired and you're like, Okay, in me, I like
(39:29):
different stuff, so I'll dibble anddabble in different stuff. I'm like,
Okay, I'm bored with this.Yeah. Yeah. So when I tried
to be an entrepreneur, I waslike, okay, I could do this
and anything I say I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do it. Okay,
I'm We've always been like that,Always been like that, always been It's
like what you said, like,I'll follow through on this stuff that I
really want, and I'm working ongetting better at following through on the stuff
(39:52):
that I need. But follow through. I think that's key, Like what
you're saying, it's so important becauseI think a lot of people have have
a lot of great ideas. Youknow, they start a lot of things,
but being able to finish and beingable to execute is a whole nother
like ball game, I mean,and being consistent too that you know,
because like you said, it's afollow through. But what happens when it
(40:14):
doesn't so caught work or you feellike it's not working, or oh my
god, I'm not making the moneythat I thought I was gonna make.
Keep going, keep going. Youknow a lot of people at that point
they quit and they're onto something else. But you never saw it through.
That you never saw it through.That's key. Um. The where you
are today? Is this something thatyou kind of visualize. I know we
(40:36):
talked a little bit about affirmations andother things, but let's say when you
are on kid number two, absolutely, where did you? Where did you
think? What was your vision foryour life? Um? So I wanted
to be a doctor. Okay,I wanted to be a medical doctor,
I would say, um, andthat's what I went to Howard four.
I went for pre medicine. Iwanted to be an OBG Ryan. So
that's what I saw for my life. Okay. Um, when I took
(41:00):
care of my mom when she wasin hospice and I was like her nurse,
right per se is when I realizedI wanted to become a nurse.
And so that's where the shift,you know, kind of happened. I
did try dental assisting school, Iwent to be a medical assistant. I
went to be an LPN. Ididn't get in the program for LPN,
but I got into the RN programs. Yeah you know, um, but
(41:24):
yeah, I never what's the differencebetween the two For people who don't get
the acronyms, like, what doesthat mean? It's just a different discipline
and you have just different things thatyou can do. So for example,
an LPN can't hang blood, youknow what I mean? Where RN can.
Your disciplines are basically the same,honestly, but just a little bit
different. So you have like anMP, you have an RN, you
(41:46):
have an LPN, you have aCNA, you have an M a licensed
practical nurse, registered nurse, nurse, practitioner, medical assistant. You know,
you need all of us, basically, it takes all of us in
this whole continuum of care for yourpatient. But um, it's just a
different discipline. You know, wehave different practices that we practiced under,
(42:07):
like under the Nursing Practice Act.But like I said, it takes all
of us in the ecosystem for healthcare. Yeah, speaking of taking a village,
I think people found out a wholenew respect for the nursing industry and
nurses at large during coviddemic and yourbusiness and your the need for what you
do in your service. M yousaw an extreme influx of occupying that space
(42:31):
during the pandemic. Can you talkto me a little bit about that season
and how you were able to kindof show up. Well, that's when
I went traveling, you know,I went traveling and I worked at different
hospitals because that need was there.Yeah. I did speak to one of
the CEOs of one of the majortraveling companies, and what she said was
(42:51):
that primarily it was African American nursesthat showed up, you know, and
a lot of people didn't know that. But we dropped everything, you know
what I mean, families and everythingto go serve. I see it like
a serving for the military. Butwe wasn't recognized as the same, you
know, if that makes sense.So if something happens now the military have
(43:14):
to go and they go and serve, they're recognized for that. You know.
The nurses were not at one pointwe were heroes. The next minute
it was like we were like zeros, you know, and that didn't feel
good to us as nurses. Youknow. It was just like we need
you right now, and then okay, thank you bye. Yeah, you
know, because I'm real big oneven right now, why aren't our student
(43:34):
loans being paid? They should bepaid for the service in the work that
we just did. Many of nursesfrontline lost their lives, lost family members,
you know, just like everyone else. But we could not stay home.
We could not. We had tobe there and be in place,
you know, and it was hard. It was very hard psychologically mentally,
(43:55):
it was very hard. I mean, of course physically right. But we
didn't get the praise in the acknowledgementthat we should have gotten during that time.
We were that front line and alot of people say, well,
what about this discipline, what aboutthat? I'm here to tell you as
a registered nurse as one of those, I'm one of those. We were
the backbone of COVID nineteen. Wow. Wow, I think that's like,
(44:21):
what do you think that is?Why do you think people were kind of
like making it seem like what you'resaying, like, oh, thank you
for your health. Carry on,now, like what is that? I
don't think they really recognize how muchwe have to endure and how much we
take. I don't think our professionagain, like I stated, is acknowledged,
you know, even for me forexample, having my doctorate and nursing.
(44:44):
Yeah, there's a lot of peoplewhen I was in California didn't even
know that nurses can have a doctoratedegree. They didn't know that, you
know. So again it's it's peoplebeing uninformed, you know about it.
They just think we just work atthe bedside, that's it. And everybody
just has a bach disagree and workon the bedside, you know, in
the hospital, in the d orICU. And it's so much more to
(45:05):
nursing. You have nurse managers,you have nurse consultants, you have,
like I said, now nurse entrepreneurs. You know, for years, you
have nursing instructors. You know,it's so much nursing is so broad,
like it's so much to do.And again I don't think that respect was
there, that respect. I mean, your nurse educators are not being paid
what they should be paid, andthey're teaching the science of nursing, you
(45:30):
know, a whole other topic.Like nurse practitioners here in Georgia, you
know, they don't have full authorityto practice, where in California they do.
Why not they bridge the gap?Like they have to have a medical
doctor that they're working, you know, in collaboration with. But why why
(45:51):
because the medical doctors, right,they won't release that to the nurse practitioners
so that they can care. Whywhat is what? That's a real thing.
That's a real thing. And they'rein different states. And like I
said, even in California, butin California is one of the hardest states
when it comes to nursing. Itis like they gave me the runaround trying
(46:13):
to get my license in California.They wanted me to go back to my
associate degree. I'm like, Ihave a doctorate in nursing. You really
want me to pull all this?Yes they do, but even they have
full practice authority as nurse practitioners.Yes, And so that's why I said,
it's just so much work that hasto be done in the nursing field,
(46:34):
and the respect has to be there. It has to be there.
I think, you know, someof it came during COVID. You know,
but then you had nurses who didn'tbelieve in you know, getting the
vaccine, and that was a wholedifferent thing right right there. There was
a fight. There was a shiftright there between nurses and healthcare. Oh,
some nurses don't believe in this andthey're not, you know, promoting
the vaccine. Some of them are. But that's a right, you know,
(46:59):
just because that you took an oathto be a nurse. That's not
me that you you one hundred percentbelieve in everything when it comes to science.
You have that right. Yeah,you know, you have that right.
So um, but we'll get there, We'll get there. Yeah.
I think it's important too because peoplelike you get on, you know,
to have these platforms and be ableto use your voice in this way to
(47:22):
educate people and to inform them onthis you know culture that we're not,
you know, totally acclimated with.It's very very important for you, you
know, because you've already been akind of you've already been able to accomplish
a lot um, having ten kids, being this super mom speaker, incredible
(47:42):
business that you're running. What isthe endgame for you? Right when you
think about or visualize you at thepeak of your success. What does that
look like? I think about thatall the time, to be honest with
you, and it changes. Youknow, at some point I want to
have multiple businesses, right, butthen the real me, like my heart,
(48:05):
I want to have one organization wherewomen can come and they can have
a voice. That's really what Iwant, you know, I want to
be this renowned household name. Youknow, everyone knows doctor Ebony. They're
gonna know you with ten kids,Like that's the thing they could not forget
with the ten kids. And it'sfunny because that came to me at a
(48:27):
mastermind that I was at. Iwas at a Mastermind listening to doctor Delatoro
and he said, this is abouta year and a half ago, and
he said, what is the thingthat makes you different than everyone else?
And it just came to me.It was like a lightbulb, right,
that went off. Anybody could bea motivational speaker, anybody can be an
author, yea. Anyone could bean entrepreneur, right, but everyone doesn't
(48:51):
have ten children and doing all ofthat. And so the lightbulb went off
and I was like, that's it, that's it. In the moment it
gets to media or whatever. Whenthey see that, that's what sets me
apart, yeah, you know,And so I love to share that story,
but also to be a motivation andencouragement to other women that might just
have one right, one thing andthey're like, I can't do it,
(49:14):
I can't do it as too much. They may not even have children,
but they want to birth something right, a vision that they have, and
I can. I can encourage themwith my life story. It's my experience
is to say you got it,you can do it. If I can
do it, so can you,you know. And so that is my
vision, just to be able tohelp as many women as I can,
(49:35):
as I can, and I'm like, God, please make me a multi
millionaire. My husband says, I'mgonna lose it all because I'm gonna give
it all the way to everybody.But that's my heart, you know what
I mean. I'm gonna get mea couple of cards, a couple of
houses, but I'm gonna give itaway. Yeah, because that's my heart.
I'm a true servant, you know. And so um I just want
to give. I just want tobe able to get other people to the
next level, just like I was. Wow, Well, I think You're
(49:59):
gonna to continue to go up andup and thank you. Um. You're
on a really good trajectory already.Like you said, you have the capacity
and the hard space to be ableto give. So I know God is
going to continue to bless you.Thank tenfold. And that's not a pun
on the kids already. I reallylove your story. I love what you're
(50:21):
doing. I love the messaging behindwhat you got going on. If people
want to kind of tap into thespa um and even buy your book or
learn a little bit about more aboutyour story, how can they do that?
My website so doctor ebeny Um.It's www Doctor d r ebeny e
b o n ee dot com.The book is also on Amazon um The
(50:42):
Grit, the Grind, and theGlory, and it's also available on my
website as well. Wow, thereit is. Thank you so much for
coming on the show. I look, are you done, doll? Are
you done with having kids? Orwe having work? We's got a dog?
That's enough? Okay, No,no, no, no. Ten
is a good solid number. Thatis it. And I don't have any
grandkids, thank God, because Itold my kids, I'm like I'm gonna
(51:05):
be the worst grandmother. Never I'mnot really, but I'm like, no,
yeah, let me live now.Yeah, I'm living right now,
let me live. Keep living.I'm living. Good job. Thank you,
thank you for being there. Thankyou. Peace,
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