November 15, 2024 • 13 mins
Email angelyasminluv@gmail.com
What up though?! This is your girl Angel with Fire to Inspire the Podcast, where I help you ignite your, Fire, Passion, and Purpose!Our desire is to inspire you to find your wings and learn to fly! Our goal is to inspire people to ignite their passion and purpose! We will work diligently to share success stories of many that will motivate listeners to create prosperity and activate their highest potential. We we will help guide the audience to become their best. We will direct them for greater happiness, love, relationships, health and fulfillment. Let's focus on their passions, values, core beliefs, and help them determine what's important for the next chapter of their lives. In the end, the listener will feel a refreshed sense of motivation and accountability for the life they desire to live. Success is a difficult choice each day, but it's the best decision anyone can make! The sky is definitely NOT the limit!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/fire-to-inspire--3284452/support.
What up though?! This is your girl Angel with Fire to Inspire the Podcast, where I help you ignite your, Fire, Passion, and Purpose!Our desire is to inspire you to find your wings and learn to fly! Our goal is to inspire people to ignite their passion and purpose! We will work diligently to share success stories of many that will motivate listeners to create prosperity and activate their highest potential. We we will help guide the audience to become their best. We will direct them for greater happiness, love, relationships, health and fulfillment. Let's focus on their passions, values, core beliefs, and help them determine what's important for the next chapter of their lives. In the end, the listener will feel a refreshed sense of motivation and accountability for the life they desire to live. Success is a difficult choice each day, but it's the best decision anyone can make! The sky is definitely NOT the limit!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/fire-to-inspire--3284452/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I let go.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I let go of his hands, And you're probably wondering
about what am I saying. Well, basically, I let go
of God's hand and that was a heartbreaking story for me.
(00:33):
And somebody you know might say, well, well, he can't
let you go because he's got you already. You know
what I'm saying. So really is that true if I
let go of his hand first, well he's gonna snatch
his arm hand and snatch you back or something like that. No,
(00:54):
I think he's free will, And I say I think,
but you know what, he has all the power, they say,
And I'm just trying to make sure I know how
much power he has, because if he's free will, where
the spirit is, there's liberty. Anyway, I let go. I
(01:27):
was in a dark place where I did not believe
in God anymore. My tongue would literally roll on the
back of like on the bottom of my mouth. It
would roll if I tried to pray like it would
not want to pray like. I could not utter the
prayer out of my mouth. It was like I was
possessed with something. It wasn't right, it was not right.
(01:55):
I begin to forget about everything in the world. I
didn't want to see nobody. I didn't want to be
around nobody. I just want to sleep all day long.
I don't know what you call that. If that's the depression,
I don't want to ever go through that again. So, yeah,
(02:22):
it's hard to hold on to something that you really
can't see, and you feel like you're out here all
on your own, and you don't know who to trust
anymore because you thought you can trust God, if anybody,
And you go through all these hardships and hard times
and your heart's broken and you really don't have anything
(02:42):
else to do but cry. How can you hold onto
something that you cannot literally see? So I let go again.
I was in four mental hospitals. I'll tell you again,
if you never heard of before to hospitals I was
into and I had to experience all of that four times.
(03:12):
Sometimes I refuse my medicine that they were trying to
give me because I didn't know what they were trying
to put in my body because I don't really take
medicine very well. My body does not react to medicine
very well at all, never have their will, And so
they were shooting me up in there and everything they
were doing all types of stuff. They shot me up
(03:32):
so many times in Destined when I was there the
first time, I got put in the middle of hospital
because I was on the streets, living on the streets.
And they could tell too car was packed up with
clothes and all my belongings, that I was living on
(04:00):
the streets, the way I was looking, the way I
was carrying myself. I tried my best to carry myself
the same way I could. But as the time gets better,
the means time rolls over that you know, you get
worse if you're not taking care of if you're living
out of your car, you know what that means. You
(04:22):
gotta go to the gas station to take a bath,
a clean one. Some of them went always that clean.
But you want to make sure you were clean.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah, you gotta go through all that life. Yes, life
was licening, So.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, I'll let go. But I wouldn't stop listening to
the music. On Sunday, I would turn my radio off
in my car. The best part of my car is
my music. I used to have a Nissan juke it
was called now my tag was named jukebox, and I
(05:09):
would play the crap out of my music and I
would play the best music. I even ubered in it.
It was nice money and all I did was serenade
people with the music that I used to I used
to play DJ that I used to play, and you
know what I mean, had the best time of my
life making good money when I wanted to. Nobody didn't
(05:29):
have to tell me to go to work. I just
went one day. So you know, I just had to
do what I had to do at that time while
(05:50):
I was on the streets because I didn't want to
be in bondage anymore. I was in bondage living in
the here at my parents' house. I was a grown woman,
and it wasn't It wasn't that I had to abide
by their rules. It's just it wasn't that. It was
(06:10):
just I'm a grown woman living in a home with
my parents. It just wasn't settling with me. I like
to be free in my own house and I when
I walk around naked, I can do so like anybody else.
It was a mean thing. It wasn't them. We had
our moments like any other family would too. Anyway, Yeah
we did. But you know what, back to the subject.
(06:39):
I come from a very religious background. Parents are both pastors,
brothers are pastor. It's just I come from that background
where you just don't understand. I was going to churches
left and right, church hopping, so all I knew was
Jesus I would be the one that was shot. I
(07:01):
remember I shot in my first year. I was twelve
years old. We were Baptists, but we were non a nominational.
I started off best Baptist, but we became non a nominational,
which I love because it means free, free will. And
(07:21):
who doesn't want to be living in liberty? Who doesn't
want to live in in in in freedom? Who doesn't
want to live like that? But anyway, those type of
churches are not so popular, but when somebody comes to visit,
they always want to come back. It's a good church.
(07:45):
My mom and dad's church has a very small church,
but I love it. Do I go every Sunday? No,
because it's an hour away and I just don't get
to go every Sunday, so I just don't go. But
I listened to my musical every Sunday, and I had
my moment with God. Or I just want to listen
(08:06):
to some music, some good, good praise and worship. You know,
when I let go I didn't feel pain. I was
just left in the dark when I let go in
(08:28):
a dark room. Imagine a little girl in a dark
room by herself that they put you in in the
mental hospital when you're doing you have not been compliant.
If I didn't take my medicine, I had to get
a shot. If I didn't if I didn't comply with
(08:50):
their rules, I had to get a shot. When I
didn't follow everything they said to do and kind of
got upset about it, they threw me in a room
in a dark but when I said I had to
(09:10):
use the bathroom, they let me out. That was very
kind of them, So yeah, I let go. I remember
there was this one boy when I was in DestinE.
He was a little boy and he would not come
(09:30):
out of his room, and so I started talking to him.
I said, hey, come out here and watch a movie
with us. You wanna watch a movie with us. I
would just start talking to him through the door to
see how he was doing. And he was reading his
Bible and he couldn't be no more than he wasn't
more than twelve, you know, well dressed young boy. I
(09:54):
think he was Asian. That I can't really remember, but
you know what. That little boy held that Bible up
to himself and he said he asked me the question
one time. I got him out of the room we
were watching the movie. He finally came out and watched
the movie with us. And you know, I was doing
(10:15):
my angel work at that time, and I think that
he asked me the question about being saved. And I
can't remember what he exactly asked me, but he asked
me about being saved, and he was talking about the
nine nine sheep. He made me read about the nine
nine sheep and the one that got lost, the one
(10:38):
that got lost in the Bible. Look it up. It's
a good story. And I had to read that out loud.
And God was trying to tell me something, and he
sure didn't open up my eyes. That night, I started
to be able to walk again. I was able to
start to, like, you know, eat again, because the medicine
(10:59):
I was taking was so strong that I was like,
I wasn't able to eat right. To be honest, I
was walking real slow. I was slobbering at the mouth.
It was bad. I thought I was gonna be stuck
like that. I thought I they had damaged the nerve
(11:23):
in my body, and I was never gonna get back
to what I used to do. I mean, I could
not walk, I couldn't talk straight. And I told them doctors,
I said, y'all are taken my sexy. Don't take my sexy.
(11:44):
And that one doctor looked at me, and I told
my therapist. I told him that day. He was a
male doctor. I said, don't take my sexy, y'all. I
can't even walk, I can't talk. I'm slobbering at the mouth,
can't walk around without a towel to my mouth because
I was slobbering so much, so fast. It was just
(12:07):
coming out, just coming out, just coming out. It was
not just a okay, maybe sometime I go to sleep slobbery, no, no, no, no, no.
I was slobbering like and just real bad. Just everything
was just coming out, just coming out. Had to hold
a towel to my faith for me, not the slobbery.
It was. It was disgusting, y'all. It was embarrassing. It
(12:31):
was very embarrassing. You can't even talk without through slobbery.
It was. It was awful. The medicine did not do
me very well at all. So here I am trying
to get it all together, trying to bring it all together,
(13:00):
get myself together, and it wasn't coming together. It felt
like my world was crashing. And it did crash cause
I let go. I let go, I let go of
his hand y'all, you can't let go. You gotta hold
on as tight as you can, no matter what, because
(13:21):
he always comes in small doses, and sometimes he'll wile
you with the big doses. All Right, it's getting real
hot up in here because I'm so fired up.
I let go.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I let go of his hands, And you're probably wondering
about what am I saying. Well, basically, I let go
of God's hand and that was a heartbreaking story for me.
(00:33):
And somebody you know might say, well, well, he can't
let you go because he's got you already. You know
what I'm saying. So really is that true if I
let go of his hand first, well he's gonna snatch
his arm hand and snatch you back or something like that. No,
(00:54):
I think he's free will, And I say I think,
but you know what, he has all the power, they say,
And I'm just trying to make sure I know how
much power he has, because if he's free will, where
the spirit is, there's liberty. Anyway, I let go. I
(01:27):
was in a dark place where I did not believe
in God anymore. My tongue would literally roll on the
back of like on the bottom of my mouth. It
would roll if I tried to pray like it would
not want to pray like. I could not utter the
prayer out of my mouth. It was like I was
possessed with something. It wasn't right, it was not right.
(01:55):
I begin to forget about everything in the world. I
didn't want to see nobody. I didn't want to be
around nobody. I just want to sleep all day long.
I don't know what you call that. If that's the depression,
I don't want to ever go through that again. So, yeah,
(02:22):
it's hard to hold on to something that you really
can't see, and you feel like you're out here all
on your own, and you don't know who to trust
anymore because you thought you can trust God, if anybody,
And you go through all these hardships and hard times
and your heart's broken and you really don't have anything
(02:42):
else to do but cry. How can you hold onto
something that you cannot literally see? So I let go again.
I was in four mental hospitals. I'll tell you again,
if you never heard of before to hospitals I was
into and I had to experience all of that four times.
(03:12):
Sometimes I refuse my medicine that they were trying to
give me because I didn't know what they were trying
to put in my body because I don't really take
medicine very well. My body does not react to medicine
very well at all, never have their will, And so
they were shooting me up in there and everything they
were doing all types of stuff. They shot me up
(03:32):
so many times in Destined when I was there the
first time, I got put in the middle of hospital
because I was on the streets, living on the streets.
And they could tell too car was packed up with
clothes and all my belongings, that I was living on
(04:00):
the streets, the way I was looking, the way I
was carrying myself. I tried my best to carry myself
the same way I could. But as the time gets better,
the means time rolls over that you know, you get
worse if you're not taking care of if you're living
out of your car, you know what that means. You
(04:22):
gotta go to the gas station to take a bath,
a clean one. Some of them went always that clean.
But you want to make sure you were clean.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah, you gotta go through all that life. Yes, life
was licening, So.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, I'll let go. But I wouldn't stop listening to
the music. On Sunday, I would turn my radio off
in my car. The best part of my car is
my music. I used to have a Nissan juke it
was called now my tag was named jukebox, and I
(05:09):
would play the crap out of my music and I
would play the best music. I even ubered in it.
It was nice money and all I did was serenade
people with the music that I used to I used
to play DJ that I used to play, and you
know what I mean, had the best time of my
life making good money when I wanted to. Nobody didn't
(05:29):
have to tell me to go to work. I just
went one day. So you know, I just had to
do what I had to do at that time while
(05:50):
I was on the streets because I didn't want to
be in bondage anymore. I was in bondage living in
the here at my parents' house. I was a grown woman,
and it wasn't It wasn't that I had to abide
by their rules. It's just it wasn't that. It was
(06:10):
just I'm a grown woman living in a home with
my parents. It just wasn't settling with me. I like
to be free in my own house and I when
I walk around naked, I can do so like anybody else.
It was a mean thing. It wasn't them. We had
our moments like any other family would too. Anyway, Yeah
we did. But you know what, back to the subject.
(06:39):
I come from a very religious background. Parents are both pastors,
brothers are pastor. It's just I come from that background
where you just don't understand. I was going to churches
left and right, church hopping, so all I knew was
Jesus I would be the one that was shot. I
(07:01):
remember I shot in my first year. I was twelve
years old. We were Baptists, but we were non a nominational.
I started off best Baptist, but we became non a nominational,
which I love because it means free, free will. And
(07:21):
who doesn't want to be living in liberty? Who doesn't
want to live in in in in freedom? Who doesn't
want to live like that? But anyway, those type of
churches are not so popular, but when somebody comes to visit,
they always want to come back. It's a good church.
(07:45):
My mom and dad's church has a very small church,
but I love it. Do I go every Sunday? No,
because it's an hour away and I just don't get
to go every Sunday, so I just don't go. But
I listened to my musical every Sunday, and I had
my moment with God. Or I just want to listen
(08:06):
to some music, some good, good praise and worship. You know,
when I let go I didn't feel pain. I was
just left in the dark when I let go in
(08:28):
a dark room. Imagine a little girl in a dark
room by herself that they put you in in the
mental hospital when you're doing you have not been compliant.
If I didn't take my medicine, I had to get
a shot. If I didn't if I didn't comply with
(08:50):
their rules, I had to get a shot. When I
didn't follow everything they said to do and kind of
got upset about it, they threw me in a room
in a dark but when I said I had to
(09:10):
use the bathroom, they let me out. That was very
kind of them, So yeah, I let go. I remember
there was this one boy when I was in DestinE.
He was a little boy and he would not come
(09:30):
out of his room, and so I started talking to him.
I said, hey, come out here and watch a movie
with us. You wanna watch a movie with us. I
would just start talking to him through the door to
see how he was doing. And he was reading his
Bible and he couldn't be no more than he wasn't
more than twelve, you know, well dressed young boy. I
(09:54):
think he was Asian. That I can't really remember, but
you know what. That little boy held that Bible up
to himself and he said he asked me the question
one time. I got him out of the room we
were watching the movie. He finally came out and watched
the movie with us. And you know, I was doing
(10:15):
my angel work at that time, and I think that
he asked me the question about being saved. And I
can't remember what he exactly asked me, but he asked
me about being saved, and he was talking about the
nine nine sheep. He made me read about the nine
nine sheep and the one that got lost, the one
(10:38):
that got lost in the Bible. Look it up. It's
a good story. And I had to read that out loud.
And God was trying to tell me something, and he
sure didn't open up my eyes. That night, I started
to be able to walk again. I was able to
start to, like, you know, eat again, because the medicine
(10:59):
I was taking was so strong that I was like,
I wasn't able to eat right. To be honest, I
was walking real slow. I was slobbering at the mouth.
It was bad. I thought I was gonna be stuck
like that. I thought I they had damaged the nerve
(11:23):
in my body, and I was never gonna get back
to what I used to do. I mean, I could
not walk, I couldn't talk straight. And I told them doctors,
I said, y'all are taken my sexy. Don't take my sexy.
(11:44):
And that one doctor looked at me, and I told
my therapist. I told him that day. He was a
male doctor. I said, don't take my sexy, y'all. I
can't even walk, I can't talk. I'm slobbering at the mouth,
can't walk around without a towel to my mouth because
I was slobbering so much, so fast. It was just
(12:07):
coming out, just coming out, just coming out. It was
not just a okay, maybe sometime I go to sleep slobbery, no, no, no, no, no.
I was slobbering like and just real bad. Just everything
was just coming out, just coming out. Had to hold
a towel to my faith for me, not the slobbery.
It was. It was disgusting, y'all. It was embarrassing. It
(12:31):
was very embarrassing. You can't even talk without through slobbery.
It was. It was awful. The medicine did not do
me very well at all. So here I am trying
to get it all together, trying to bring it all together,
(13:00):
get myself together, and it wasn't coming together. It felt
like my world was crashing. And it did crash cause
I let go. I let go, I let go of
his hand y'all, you can't let go. You gotta hold
on as tight as you can, no matter what, because
(13:21):
he always comes in small doses, and sometimes he'll wile
you with the big doses. All Right, it's getting real
hot up in here because I'm so fired up.
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