Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hi, everybody, it's me Cinderella Acts. You are listening to
the Fringe Radio Network. I know I was gonna tell them, Hey,
do you have the app? It's the best way to
listen to the Fringe Radio Network. It's safe and you
don't have to log in to use it, and it
doesn't track you or trace you, and it sounds beautiful.
(00:27):
I know I was gonna tell him, how do you
get the app? Just go to Fringe radionetwork dot com
right at the top of the page. I know, slippers,
we gotta keep cleaning these chimneys.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Eating isolate users, swim anxiety disorder, there is a depression.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I am a lady. He made you in his image,
but we remade you in ours.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Welcome to Truth and Shadow, your guide through the supernatural.
I am your host BT, and this is a shadow short.
Let's navigate the unknown on this brief journey into the
depths of mystery.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
There's an old story about two wolves, one white, one black.
They fight endlessly inside of you, and when the child
asks which one wins, the elder says the one you feed.
But that's the safe version, because sometimes it's not a wolf.
(02:11):
Sometimes it's something older. Hungrier, not born of nature, but
of neglect, bitterness, shame, every lie you told yourself and
called it survival. A demon doesn't always come with horns
or smoke. Sometimes it whispers in your own voice. It
(02:33):
knows your weaknesses because it taught them to you. Every
time you say I'll deal with it tomorrow. It eats
every time you run from silence because it's too loud
with truth. It feeds addiction, rage, that creeping numbness that
(02:54):
looks like peace but isn't. That's how it grows. And
if you're not careful, if you stop looking at it
in the eye, one day you'll wake up and you
won't know where you end, and it begins. So maybe
(03:15):
the real question isn't what are you feeding, it's what's
feeding on you. Today we're going to talk about something
that doesn't live out there, not in the woods, not
in the sky, not under your bed. No, this one
(03:37):
lives closer. It wears your face, speaks in your voice,
and waits for you to feed it. This is a
story about the demon you didn't summon, because you didn't
have to. You made it. We like to think demons
(03:59):
are thing of legend, Fire breathing, horned, clawed creatures of nightmare.
But what if I told you they're far more familiar
than we'd like to admit. They don't always live in
books or appear in summoning circles. Sometimes they live in
(04:22):
the quiet patterns of our own lives. In this episode
will follow one such demon and the man who fed it.
His name was Micah. He didn't believe in demons, not really.
(04:44):
He believed in stress, in trauma, in survival, but evil
darkness that was for fiction until the night he felt
something in his apartment. It started with the lights, one
bulb in the hallway, flickering, not broken, just off. Then
(05:11):
came the cold spot by the bedroom door, and the
feeling like being watched when no one was there. Small things,
things you can write off until you can't. Because then
came the dream. He's in his childhood home alone, except
(05:36):
he's not. There's something in the hallway, crawling on the ceiling,
Its limbs too long, it's movements wrong, It whispers in
a voice like oil, I've been so hungry. Micah wakes up, gasping,
his heart racing, his body, covered in cold sweat. It
(06:01):
was just a dream, but the hallway bulb is out,
burned black. You see, demons don't always arrive in flames.
They come in subtle invitations. Every time Micah ignored his anger,
(06:21):
every time he numbed out in front of the screen,
every time he swallowed his grief instead of speaking it,
it fed this thing. It didn't attack him, didn't need to.
It waited, and Micah unknowingly served at peace by peace.
The demon's power didn't come from Hell. It came from habit.
(06:43):
And when it finally spoke to him while he was awake,
it said only one thing. I'm what you buried. Let
me tell you a truth we don't like to face.
Some demons are born, but many are made. Micah wasn't possessed.
(07:05):
He was worn down, burnt out, exhausted, tired. You don't
have to open a portal or chant and Latin to
summon a spirit. You just have to lie repeatedly to yourself.
I'm fine, it doesn't matter, I can handle it. Each
unspoken sorrow becomes a brick, each ignored wound mortar, until
(07:30):
you've built a temple of silence, and in that silence,
something begins to live. Micah began to hear it more often,
whispers when he was alone, thoughts that didn't sound like
his own, but they were so familiar. He began to
suspect maybe this wasn't something external, Maybe this was something
(07:55):
he had carried all along. He started drinking again. He
stopped answering texts. He slept during the day and wandered
the city at night. He wasn't avoiding the demon anymore.
He was keeping it company. Here's the trick. Once you
(08:19):
feed it enough, once it's big enough, it offers you something, clarity, power,
even peace. It stops whispering and starts guiding. Say what
you really think, stop pretending you care. Let them feel
(08:40):
the pain you've carried alone. Micah called it honesty, but
it wasn't. It was release without redemption. His friends noticed
his voice got colder, his laugh had edges. One night,
(09:01):
a close friend told him, you've changed. Michael replied, no,
I finally stopped pretending. And that's when it laughed. The
thing not in the room inside him, a low, pleased chuckle,
like dry leaves blowing across pavement. It loved that line,
(09:22):
because now it didn't have to hide anymore. Michael stood
in front of the mirror one morning. His face was gaunt,
his eyes hollow. He looked stretched. But it wasn't just exhaustion.
It was as if something was pressing outward from behind
his skin. He touched his reflection, and for a moment,
(09:52):
his body didn't move and sync with his fingers. That's
when the fear came back. Not fear of the demon,
fear of what it would take to get rid of it,
Because killing a demon means killing a part of yourself,
the part that enjoyed the bitterness, the part that liked
being angry, the part that fed on pain and called
(10:16):
it fuel. Micah had to decide. Would he starve the
demon or let it finish its meal. We all carry shadows,
but a shadow is an evil. It's just a part
of you. The light hasn't touched yet. Micah started small.
(10:41):
He lit a candle in the hallway where it first appeared.
He forced himself to speak the name of the person
who heard him the most. He said, I forgive you.
The first time it felt like vomit. The second time
it felt like burning. Time he said it to himself,
I forgive you, it felt like silence, and in that
(11:07):
silence it screamed. The thing raged, doors slammed, the merre crack.
The air smelt sour, but he didn't stop, because that's
how you starve it, not by fighting, but by shining
the one thing it can't digest. Truth. Micah still feels
it sometimes, a flicker of anger too sharp, a moment
(11:30):
of despair too deep. But he knows now, you see,
Demons don't need horns. They just need a little room
in your silence. They grow in what you don't say,
what you don't face. Now, what you feed feeds on you.
(11:51):
So I'll ask you, what is it that lives in
your silence? What have you been feeding? Are you still
sure that it isn't feeding on you? Not every demon
comes from the pit. Some rise from the basement of
the soul, from memories you've walked away from pain you
(12:14):
never thought anyone would understand. Some demons wear names like anxiety, addiction,
self hatred, depression, and I'm not here to tell you
those things are all just monsters in the dark. Sometimes
they're chemical, sometimes they're trauma, sometimes they're both. But if
(12:43):
you've ever felt like something is feeding on your joy,
like there's a weight that sits on your chest in
the night, like your own mind is turning against you.
You're not imagining it. There is something real there. And
whether we call it a demon or a disorder, a shadow,
or just the blues, the truth is it wants you silent,
(13:09):
It wants you isolated, It wants you numb, because as
long as you're alone, as long as you keep pretending
you're fine, you keep feeding it. But the moment you
speak it aloud to a friend, a therapist, god, those
(13:29):
who listen, that spell begins to break, not all at once,
healing takes time, but peace by peace. You don't have
to be fearless to fight. You just have to be honest.
And if this episode felt like a mirror, if something
(13:51):
and you whispered, that's me, then maybe tonight is the
night you stop feeding the thing you're not. You are
the one who can name it. You're the one who
can heal it, and naming something, healing something is the
first step to casting it out. So maybe maybe you've
(14:14):
listened to all of that in thought, that's just a
nice story, And maybe it is a story of a
man haunted by something he couldn't see, fed by pain, regret, silence,
a story of a shadow gone, a story of a
shadow that grew because he'd let it. Or maybe it's
(14:35):
a mirror. Maybe this story is closer than you'd like
it to me. Let's call it what it is now,
because the demon we've been talking about it has many names,
and one of them is depression. Now, I'm not going
to over spiritualize it. Depression is real. It's not just
some bad energy or a negative vibe. It's a chemical, sure,
(15:01):
but it's also grief, unprocessed stories, unspoken trauma, wrapped so
tightly around your soul that you start forgetting what it
feels like to be in the light. And maybe the
reason the demon metaphor feels so right is because depression
doesn't just make you feel sad. It feeds on you.
(15:25):
It drains you of color, that steals your appetite, both
for food and for life. It whispers lies in your
own voice. No one cares your too much. You're not enough.
It will always be like this. That's not just sadness.
(15:49):
That's a haunting. But here's the part we rarely talk about.
It doesn't start out big. It starts out small. Most
people don't realize when depression first enters the room. It
doesn't kick down the door. It slips like fog under
the windowsill. Maybe you've stopped applying to texts, maybe you've
(16:15):
stopped creating. You sleep in just a little later, then
a lot later, you start lying, I'm just tired, and
maybe you are. But eventually the tired turns into apathy.
Apathy turns into hopelessness, and then one day you look
(16:38):
in the mirror and you barely recognize yourself. That's what
possession really looks like, not spinning heads and dramatic exorcism,
but losing yourself in slow motion. And here's the cruel irony.
We often feed it without knowing, not because we want to,
but because the very tools that you use to say us, numbing, avoiding,
(17:02):
pushing through became the rituals that kept it alive. You
numb out the shows, you scroll for hours, You eat
without tasting, or you don't eat at all. You start
to disappear from your own life, and the demon loves that.
Depression loves that because the less you there is, the
(17:26):
more room there is for it. Now here's where things
start to shift, because the first step to starving a
demon isn't prayer. It's not medication, though those things can help,
and it's not therapy. Though you should absolutely seek it.
The first step is realizing that there's a problem and
you can name it, not as weakness, not as failure.
(17:53):
That is truth, to say, hey, I'm not okay. This
thing is sitting on my chest and I don't feel
alive anymore. That moment, however, small, is warfare, because now
it's not just feeding silence. Now you've seen it, and
what you see you can face. And here's something no
(18:20):
one else will tell you. When you start healing, it
might feel worse at first because light hurts eyes that
have lived in the dark. But you start feeling again
and it becomes overwhelming. Grief comes up like a tidal wave. Anger.
Anger comes to and all the things that you've buried
start clawing to the surface, and you're tempted to shut
(18:45):
it all back down. But don't that pain. That's depression,
that's demon. That's the demon losing its grip. That's your
nervous system waking up. That's your soul fighting its way
back to you. It doesn't mean you're getting worse. Means
you're finally letting the light touch the wound. Let me
(19:11):
say this clearly, isolation is depressions. The demon's favorite food.
It loves silence, loves shame, It loves secrets, and the
moment you bring someone in, even just one person, you
cut off its supply line. Talk to a friend, please,
a therapist, a spiritual guide, someone who won't try to
(19:32):
fix you, but will sit with you in the dark
until the sun rises. You don't have to be articulate,
You don't need a script. You just need to say,
this thing's been following me and I don't want to
feed it anymore. And if you're someone with faith, don't
(19:53):
let that faith shame you into silence. Having depression doesn't
mean you're spiritually weak. It doesn't mean you're possessed. It
doesn't mean God has forgotten you. Even saints have cried
out in the dark, even Christ swept in the garden
asked for another way. So yes, pray, but also take
the meds, also seek the therapy. Please talk to people.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Light isn't one switch, it's a thousand candles. Use all
of them. Let me say something simple but vital. You
are not depression. You are not the demon. You are
the one being haunted, and that means you are also
the one who can be healed.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
There is another version of you a better version on
the other side of this thing, a version of you
who remembers how to laugh without guilt, how to hope
without fear, how to be still without going numb. But
you don't have to get there overnight. You just have
to take the right step, the next step, one breath,
(21:02):
one truth, one refusal to feed the lie again. And
if this episode has resonated with you, if it stirred something,
or even just made you feel seen, then hear me. Now,
you are not alone. You are worth it, You are enough.
(21:25):
This isn't the end of your story. Yes, depression is real.
The demon is real, but so is your spirit, so
is your courage, so is the light that's still flickering
inside of you, even if it's just a spark. Don't
let this be the night you give in. Let it
be the night you turn, the night you stop feeding
(21:47):
the thing that's been feeding on you, the night you
name the shadow and start calling your soul back home.
This has been Truth and Shadow podcast. And if today
you felt, even if one small corner of your shadow
has softened, then it's enough. Until next time, keep speaking truth,
(22:08):
keep facing the shadow, and never forget even the darkest
thing in you. Was once just to cry for love,
waiting to be answered, and you are worth answering U