KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa (Wed, 10 Sep, 2025)

KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa on Wed, 10 Sep, 2025

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Snvolved at exhausting Amster Wheel and into balance.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Living with Doctor Marissa from Miss jun.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Doctor Marissa, also known as the Asian Oprah. Her mission
to be a beneficial presence on the planet, her purpose
to be your personal advocate, to live, lap love, learn
her life motto, don't die wondering, Take back your life
with Doctor Maurissa Pey.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
And welcome your tuned to take my advice, I'm not
using it. Get balance with Doctor Marisa. No morning show
here on casey AA, NBC News, CNBC News, NBC Sports
radio station AM ten fifty f M one O six
point five and streaming everywhere I heard radio, Spotify, iTunes,

(00:55):
tune in, Audible music, Tiki Live, Rumble podcast, The Streaker,
Speaker and more. Why so many places. I want to
maximize my splatter zone for more hope and happiness, balancing
out all the negative headlines out there with positive heartlines,
because uh, you know, life is way too short to

(01:16):
be angry depressed and only being in your pissoffedness. So
I have topics and shows and guests and co hosts
and series to that, and and today is no exception.
You'll know it's Wednesday because of the Beautiful Inside and
Out cohost I have on with me today. Y'all know

(01:39):
her as Doctor Tiffany Take. She's the MD to my PhD.
She's a US Navy veteran, published author, retired OBGYN from Gompton, California, playwright, singer, songwriter, poet,
and more. She's the published author of several books, including
an important children's book, my favorite called Bad Touching and

(02:00):
her newest Money Matters and the latest news her hat
is being thrown into the political arena running for Congress.
Please walk up to my show. Back to my show,
Doctor Tiffany Tay, Welcome back.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
Hello everyone, Happy Wednesday. It is always a pleasure to
be here tickling your ear.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
And we start every show with breakfast that consists of
taking a bite of my gratitude sandwich. Top of the
bid the things were grateful for outside of ourselves, bottom
of the button things were grateful for inside of ourselves,
also known as appreciation. So, doctor Tiffany, what do you
grateful for this morning?

Speaker 4 (02:53):
Well, you know, we celebrated our birthday month last month,
and to finish the month, we took a bus trip
to Via Casino and on that bus trip, we had
a lot a bus load of fun, I might add,

(03:15):
And on that trip we played games and everything, and
I really enjoyed myself spending time with everyone on that trip,
and I had a chance to talk to people about
my platform, and we just enjoyed ourselves and it was
a good.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Time, fantastic. Every time you play games without me, I
feel like that's like a personal slight, because y'all know
how much I love playing games. I'm grateful that I
found several places to play games now that I've been
grounded and not able to fly. But I'm calling them

(03:56):
hashtag blood clot silver Lightnings. Not a great sounding thing,
but you get it. It's very descriptive. And I'm grateful
that I found several Mojong outlets that I didn't know before.
And shout out to Majong Underground on Thursday nights if

(04:16):
anyone's interested. It's a great place to learn. There's beginner tables,
of of course, I'm on the advantage table, and it's
been quite fun getting to know the people in that
community and playing my favorite game on land, which is Module.
And for those of you who think you know it

(04:36):
because you play it on the computer, matching tiles, you
are you're not even close, so I do teach it.
So if you're ever interested, get three two of your
friends together and I'll come over and do a do
a teaching class of mojule. What else are you grateful for?

Speaker 4 (04:57):
Well, I'm also grateful that during that trip, while we
were waiting to board our bus to come back, I
had a chance to talk to the patrons who were
waiting for their bus to go back, and I had
a chance to talk to them about Prop fifty and
to educate them on Prop fifty. As you know, I

(05:19):
am a proponent to tell people to vote yes about that,
and they were confused. And anytime I have a chance
to educate people, I love that opportunity because a lot
of people are confused and they don't know. And anytime
I can put on my educator hat, I just enjoy that.

(05:40):
And by the time I finished, they were like, Okay, yes,
we're going to go back to our communities and encourage
other people to vote yes on Prop fifty. So I
felt accomplished by the time I got back on the bus.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Rick Anna, Hello to ze Queen. Thank you for the
the healing thing. I appreciate that I receive it, and
as I continue to roll through this interesting time, I say,

(06:15):
but I'm grateful that you know, I have so much.
You know, I may be losing things permanently, like sailboat
racing and flying temporarily, hopefully temporarily, but I have so
much that I am grateful for that I do have,

(06:38):
and I still can drive. I've been getting in touch
with my original love for driving. I love driving and
my grandmother, my Russian Jewish grandmother that unofficially adopted my mom.
She used to say that I was a race car
driver in my past life life as I'm safe, but

(07:03):
I do like to like I sort of look at
it like a game, a driving game, where I like
look for ways in which to you know, maneuver around.
I'm telling on myself. Yeah, you guys can all drive
right now because you know I'm on the air, so
I'm not on the roads. You don't have to be
afraid to get drive right now. But I'm grateful for that.

(07:26):
All right, Let's go to the bottom of the bun.
The bottom of the bun is an exercise a good life,
having a hashtag discipline. I want you to do it
at night before you go to bed instead of thinking
about all the things you didn't get done, or all
the things you're not good at, or who done you wrong.
I want instead for you to think about what you

(07:47):
like about yourself. We don't do that very well, especially women.
We're very critical of ourselves. We're our own worst enemies.
And this exercise is to have you become your own
best friend, your best best friend, and toot your own horn.
It's not a bad thing because if you don't know
what you're good at, you're going to be walking around

(08:07):
with your antenna looking for people to approve of you,
and that's very dangerous liking you, especially these days literally
on social media. We don't want that. We want you
to know how great you are. Everybody is one of
a kind, wonderful. So, doctor Tiffany, what do you like
about yourself?

Speaker 4 (08:26):
I like the fact that I am a leader and
I actually will get the opportunity to speak tomorrow, which
is what I invited you to for the National Organization
for Women Riverside chapter and when with black women, I

(08:46):
will have a zoom to talk about that. And I'm
very excited about that. I didn't get a chance to
say that because I have so many things to be
thankful for But I like the fact that I am
a leader and I'll get a chance to talk about
all my leadership abilities and from past to present fantastic.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
I appreciate my ability to put on my life jacket
with the silver lining every morning. It's my choice. This
show is a wonderful facilitator of that, and I do
it for me. If it's a benefit anywhere else, that's secondary.
And I appreciate my ability to keep Bob going. This

(09:27):
is consecutive week number six hundred and ninety six show
podcasts one, four hundred and fifty five, And I appreciate
my ability to keep on, keep it on. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
One more, I like the fact that I am still writing.
I am still having my book. I have them reduce
some things because I didn't like what they I had done,
so I was like, no, do it over. And I'm
not a perfectionist, but I wanted the way that I

(10:09):
want it, and I wanted to reflect my vision. So
I'm still in the midst of having my next children
books come out perfectly perfect. But I like the fact
in the midst of everything that I'm doing with my
run for Congress and being on the board of the

(10:30):
organizations that I'm on. I'm still able to write, I'm
still able to produce, and I'm still able to change
the world one book at a time, in the midst
of distractions or without distractions.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yes, I am forgot to do the story, which I
will in a second. I appreciate So you did.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
It, You did it? Put it? Yes, I did you
sure did it.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
I'm losing it. I'm losing it. I appreciate my ability
to learn new things. I did another round of stand
up yesterday and I'm getting like fabulous feedback and positive feedback,
lots of compliments as I learned this new craft called

(11:22):
stand up comedy, and they were shocked to find out
that I haven't been doing this even for a year yet.
So obviously this is something I can do because I'm
not on tour and flying around. So I appreciate. It's
called titty. Sorry, it's called witty. I was trying not

(11:43):
to say that word. It is the title of the workshop,
but it's witty movie dudes. So I've been able to
that's part of my set actually, so whoops, I'm gonna
have to take myself shopping and edit that out. But yeah,
it's been great. I am learning the craft of stand

(12:06):
up comedy, and I've gone from novice to semi pro
a in a meteoric way, and I'm very very grateful
for that. And I appreciate my sharpening my funny bone.
How's that?

Speaker 4 (12:24):
That is very good? I like, but you saw I
gave you the I know.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
I know it's called witty and then it rhymes with
that with the bad word that I'm not allowed to say,
and I have to say what I'm working into the set.
One of the best things about scandup is I don't
have to follow FCC rules and I can violate all
I want from stage. So if you want to see
the other side of me, come see stick my standard.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
I have to catch it. I might give you quite
a few side eyes.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
I know I trouble after this, but anyway, thanks for
joining us for breakfast. I would love for you to
continue this with or without me on the air, on
camera or off, because it's a good life habit. And
I promise you if you have breakfast every weekday morning,

(13:20):
with taking a bite of my gratitude sandwich, you will
sandwich your day in the most positive Thanks for joining
us for breakfast.

Speaker 5 (13:34):
And now for the topic of the day.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
Hold then, but hey, hey, hey, doctor Tiffany, what is
the topic for today?

Speaker 4 (13:56):
Distractions? What distractions? Yes, I did see it, and I
was very surprised and entertained. I thought it was very
funny because what is a distraction. It is a thing

(14:18):
that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else.
And the statistics were very very interesting because we experienced
distractions on a regular basis, on a daily basis. People

(14:41):
experienced distractions at work and in daily life, and so
there was a last focus the cost of distractions on
productivity in the modern workplace. This was a report that
was done and it was on one thy two hundred
US employees and employers, so that was a pretty decent number.

(15:02):
And it said that seventy nine percent of workers said
they can't go a full hour, just one hour, one
hour without getting distracted from work. Fifty nine percent couldn't
go thirty minutes free, zero thirty minutes without encountering a distraction,

(15:28):
any type of diversion. So I thought that that was
interesting because we think, oh, yeah, I'm a little distracted,
and we think, oh, it's just me. No, we are
in great company people, And I say we because everybody
gets distracted at some point in time. Seventy nine percent.

(15:51):
That is the majority of us. And when I say us,
I am included in that number. What are you thinking
about that? Doctor?

Speaker 1 (16:02):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (16:03):
What were you talking about? Right? Is the sound okay
on your rent?

Speaker 4 (16:14):
I hear a little bit of wind. I don't know
if your fan is on, but no, I hear you great?

Speaker 3 (16:18):
Okay? Z Queen, could you do me a huge favor
and tell me if the sound right now is better
or worse than the last time I was talking because
I did switch mix. We're experimenting a little today on audio.
So what do I think about distractions? I love the

(16:39):
whole squirrel reference that came up probably five or six
years ago, when they were talking about the attention span
of millennials. It was like seven seconds and the attention

(17:00):
of oh no, no, no, six seconds, and attention of a
goldfish was seven seconds. And that means a goldfish has
a better attention span than a millennial. So I can
remember that statistic very well. And it also has changed

(17:21):
all of our way that we communicate, all of the
rules around engagement. You sound bites, I mean words like
sound bite, words like what is the called action words?
Like what is your you know, all those those things

(17:43):
that really we didn't pay attention to. Right, we're supposed
to be able to tell a story, we're supposed to
be whatever. Communication was a completely different animal now that
this younger generation has forced us to keep it short.
What's the headline, don't talk talk about the whole story.
And Americans already have that quality to be like more

(18:06):
arrow communicators than I call them pillow communicators. So it's
you know, distraction is it is definitely a good topic
to talk about.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
Oh absolutely, And when we have so many headlines coming
at us, it's like, okay, well that was yesterday's news.
That's yesterday's news, that's yesterday's news. Everything is yesterday's news.
So it's funny because I have some a friend who's like, Okay,

(18:39):
stick your finger in one ear and now listen to me,
so it doesn't go in one ear and out the other,
so you can kind of keep it in your head
and not really, you know, not forget it. And it's
funny because I would always laugh, but you want to
try to maintain everything and not just let it go
literally in one ear and out the other. But we

(18:59):
frequently get distracted and it's hard to maintain that focus
and what do you do and what are some of
those greatest distractions And so the big distractors are our
internal thoughts, are inbox and our phones, and that is.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
You know, for the baby boomer generation a hard one
to adjust too, because they did not have cell phones.
They didn't grow up with cell phones. They didn't grow
up with computers, they didn't grow up And I'm always
trying to be more compassionate because p is not in

(19:46):
my vocabulary, as you all know, patients. And so when
my ninety five year young bonus dad is holding the
phone to his ear on speaker and his ear is
you know, on the on the face of the phone,
and or my bio mom before she passed, would ask
me for the fifteen hundred time how to put the

(20:09):
phone on speakerphone, and or my bonus dad pocket dialing
me a thousand times a day. During the show, I
have to remember that they did. They just you know,
they don't even have the muscle necessarily, or the synapses
have colonised to allow them to understand some of the

(20:32):
things that we, you know, just take for granted.

Speaker 4 (20:35):
Yeah, ze Queen said she was listening to us, but oops,
she got distracted.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
Yeah, especially when I'm trying to ask her if the
sound I do say that, you think this sounds better
the other? The phone actually so awesome. I'm sure you
did more. Oh yeah, why, doctor Tiffany, did you pick
this particular topic right?

Speaker 4 (21:04):
Yes, I was waiting for you to ask me that. Well,
it's there are a couple of reasons, but the primary
reason was something funny happened when I was in my
water aerobics class. We had a student who was a
little bit maybe non compliant with the instructor. And he

(21:27):
got in the water and I don't know if he
wasn't really filling the instructor. And our instructor is excellent,
I will say he is excellent. And so he got
in the water and then he really following the guidelines
of the instructor. So then he got out of the
water and started doing pushups, and he was basically a

(21:50):
distraction from the class. And the instructor was like, Okay,
don't get distracted. Even in life, you can't get distracted
no matter what's going on around you. And our instructor
kind of runs the class more like a drill instructor
when doing the drills and things in the water, and

(22:13):
we have weights and things that we use. So it's
a really excellent class, especially with me who has had
joint surgeries. And so I was like, man, this can
be extrapolated to life. And he was saying that in
the course as well, and I was like, okay, this
is good, especially with all of the headlines because a

(22:37):
lot of people are getting distracted with the headlines because
it's like, okay, don't look at this, look at this
over here, don't focus on this, look at this And
there's all these distractions from this right here. Look over here,
look over here, look over here. You know, it's kind
of like a magic show. This main thing is here,
but I'm going to do all these things to distract

(22:57):
from this. And so I said, okay, this will be
a good thing to do because I know with me
writing my book and I'm still writing another play and
people are like are you still writing, I'm like, yes,
I am still writing. But as you know, writing is
a process and people are like, well, you just need

(23:18):
to sit down and write, and as you know, as
a writer, that's not how that works. As a creative person,
you have to wait for those creative juices to flow
and you don't necessarily get distracted, but there are distractions
out there that can distract you from your goal. So

(23:38):
that's why I chose the topic. We can't hear you,
doctor Mersa, can't hear you? Can you hear me? Up?
Down there?

Speaker 3 (23:59):
We go? Now as you hear Yeah, I switched the
phone to Instagram to do the story and just turn
the microphone off, so so I will uh uh say that. Oh,
now I hear an echo.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Shoot, I don't hear an echo? Z queen. Do you
hear an echo?

Speaker 3 (24:23):
Echo? Echo? Distraction? Yeah. One of the things that oh wow,
one of the things that people have a miss or
misperception about is well, I'm not distracted because I can

(24:46):
multitask and I can pay attention to more than one
thing at the same time. And research has shown that
that is not true. That there's no such thing as multitasking.
You're not doing parallel processing. There's only serial processing. So

(25:07):
you may be multitasking, but you're doing it like I'm
folding the clothes and talking on the phone. But it's
not like you're not doing both at the same time.
You're talking, folding talking, folding talking, folding, and that's an
interesting thing for those of us, especially women, who seem

(25:28):
to have a better ability to multitask or do more
things than one. So isn't that interesting?

Speaker 4 (25:36):
Oh? I think it's absolutely interesting because when we multitask,
it's good when you are stationary, but when we multitask,
it can be a problem when you are driving. And
I'm happy you brought that up because that is one

(25:59):
of the signal magnificant distractors that can cause problems, because
that's why we now have hands free driving, because that
is one of the major problems, because you should not
text and drive.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Absolutely, And it's also interesting that distracted driving causes more
accidents than drunk driving. Did you know that?

Speaker 4 (26:28):
Yes? Absolutely, absolutely. And so when we look at some
of the three common distractors, they said there's visual distractions,
manual distractions, and cognitive distractions, and I was like, oh, okay,

(26:49):
So they broke it down. A visual distraction is anything
that takes your eyes off the road, such as looking
at your phone, looking at GS, which I thought is
interesting because most of us have GPS in our cars,
or looking at a billboard and we see billboards all
over the free So all of these are visual distractions

(27:12):
that can disrupt us while we are driving. Then there
are manual distractions such as anything that takes your hands
off the steering wheel, like using the cell phone, eating
and drinking, and we multitask while we're driving. Most of
us have a drive through or have gone through a
drive through, or have adjusted the radio. That's why we

(27:36):
now have the dials on the steering wheel, but sometimes
we use the one the console in the middle, or
use the dial in the middle. And then there's cognitive distractions.
These distractions take your mind off the task of driving.
So sometimes we daydream while we're driving, or have a
mental conversation Okay, this is what I should talk about

(27:57):
when I get there, so, or thinking about something entirely
just okay, I want to talk about this, or I
want to do this, think about the course of action
that you're planning to take, or even if your eyes
are just off the road or your hands are off
the steering wheel, sometimes you might just put your hands

(28:18):
down for a second before you put your hands back
on the steering wheel, or you may use your fingertips.
Sometimes you're thinking, oh, I'm just going to do a
little bit of relaxed driving these are just some little
minor distractions that we do while we're driving, and we
don't even think it's a big deal, but they really are.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
Yeah. Yeah, the men and women thing that I just
mentioned too, they do studies. I used to teach a
lot of courses on diversity value university and the real
differences between men and women. They've done studies where they

(28:58):
give men tasks and they give women the same task,
and they measure where in their lobe the electrical electrical
currents are binging and tinging, and it's really interesting. The
same task in a woman's lobes will go kajing, kaching, canting,

(29:19):
diging all over the different lobes, and for men on
a toss same task in one concentrated area in their lobe,
it'll go gang in that one. And that's the good
news is, you know, women are able to do the laundry,
as you say, talk on the phone, yell at their kids,

(29:39):
cook a meal, all at the same time. The bad
news is they get easily squirrel you know, what was
I doing again? Why did I come into this room?
And men, on the other hand, the good news is
they're super focused on that one thing. The bad news
is it's very difficult to get them to do anything
else until they finish that thing. It is very frustrating,

(30:02):
and the dynamic really affects the way men and women
work together in the workplace, especially with uh, you know,
supervisor and employee kinds of relationships depending on who is
you know, not on top, but you know what I mean,
who's giving the directions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so yeah,

(30:24):
that's what was going through life.

Speaker 4 (30:26):
Yeah. I always look at women a woman's brain like
a computer with a multiple files open, ready and willing
to be addressed.

Speaker 3 (30:38):
Got it, got it. I'm just looking at the time.
It is time to take a break for more news,
weather and traffic on k C A A A and
then fifty FM one or six floor five, the station
that leads no listener behind home to the agent Oprah
and number one talking to Ie. We'll be right back
with more distractions, uh and talking about them, and we'll

(31:00):
move into the solution of how to be less distracted
on doctors in the house with myself.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
And doctor Tiffany Tate.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
We'll be right back. Don't go away. It's all about
balances and piece out. We'll be right back, And I'm distracted.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
Take Back Your Life with Doctor Maurice.

Speaker 4 (31:42):
Hello, my name is doctor Tiffany Tate, and I am
a typical American just like you. I am a veteran
officer of the United States Navy. I am a board
certified O BIGU I N. I am a mother and
I have worked hard for everything I have. I have
raised two wonderful children. And I have never said on

(32:04):
the sidelines. I was always involved the PTSA, and I
have been a soccer referee, and I want you to
know that I will not sit on the sidelines for you.
Visit my website at Doctor Tate for Congress that is
d R T A T E F O R C
O N G R E S S dot com. Learn

(32:26):
about me and please visit my special conversation. Sign up
for my zoom tomorrow and listen to me. Learn about
my platform. Learn about me, and please consider making a
donation to my campaign. Help me support you paid for
by Doctor Tate for Congress.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Take Back your Life with Doctor MAURICEA.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
Fey and welcome back here to Did I take my advice,
I'm not using it. Get balanced with doctor Marissa in
the morning show. You're on KCAA NBC News radio Home
to the Age and Opera number one Talk in the IV,
thank you very much, and streaming everywhere iHeartRadio, Spotify and

(33:31):
of course my YouTube TV channel which uh if you
free subscribe and give me the finger, this one not
the other one. You will get an alert every weekday
morning to tune in on to the show about hope
and happiness and special series like today it is Wednesday,
so you will know that it is time for Doctors

(33:54):
in the House with myself.

Speaker 4 (33:56):
And doctor Tiffany Tate and the top.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Today that we've been talking about is.

Speaker 4 (34:06):
Hmm okay, hey, oh distractions.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yes it is, and I am continuing to try to
distract myself to try to get the best sound out
of this particular studio this morning. So thank you z
for continuing to give me a feedback. And hopefully there's
thatch Away is gone. But yeah, doctor Tiffany, any more

(34:39):
statistics on distraction.

Speaker 4 (34:42):
Yes, I have a couple more before we get into
how to manage it. So basically, it was interesting to
find that most people were distracted it by other people.

(35:04):
It says that over seventy percent of respondents said people
interrupting their work were the biggest contributors.

Speaker 3 (35:15):
So at work.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
At work, yes, they didn't say at.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Okay, So at work they were being distracted by things
about work or things that were not about.

Speaker 4 (35:32):
Work, usually just other people people.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
Okay. Because the reason why I'm hammering on this point
is oh yay, it goes good. The reason why I'm
hammering on this point is because when I do executive coaching,
and that is one of the things that comes up,
I would be able to do my job better if

(35:58):
people quit job upday me and my good news bad
news is your job is as a supervisor or manager
or director, especially if you're your a leadership role, is
to assist with questions, which is called interruptions, and that
is part of your job. And so once a person

(36:22):
understands that that is, you know, just a reality of
organizational reality about your work, business reality about your productivity,
then they they're less irritated about the interruption and see
it as something that you know, Okay, how can I
get better at this and or how can I choose

(36:43):
I have my clients choose particular days where they have
open doors to encourage people to be specifically around which
day of the week Monday, Fridays are my you know,
interrupting day, feel free to interrupt me. I will have
answers as best as I can. Tuesday through Thursday, I'm

(37:06):
going to be in meetings and not interrupt the ball
unless it's you know, an emergency. So there are ways
right to minimize that disruption. But at the same time,
and I'm just going to say this sorry, because I'll
forget and I'm easily destructed. As I was saying around,

(37:29):
you cannot do two things at the same time. You're
doing one and then you're doing the other. So next
time you think you're doing good by multitasking, remember that
it takes you twenty seconds to return to the thing
you were doing because that shift to something else costs

(37:55):
you twenty seconds. So to get back to the intensity
that you were mm twenty seconds. The cost of distracting
or being distracted is time.

Speaker 4 (38:09):
Oh absolutely, And I agree, because you have to give
your full attention to one thing or the other. And okay,
let me do I do you hear an echo on me?

Speaker 6 (38:27):
No?

Speaker 4 (38:27):
Okay, perfect. So I think that when you are working
for a goal and you want to serially work towards
that goal, it's a wonderful thing. And with the distractions
in life. As long as you have a plan and

(38:48):
you're not driving, and you're not putting your life in
anyone else's life in danger, I think it's okay. And
some distractions are entertaining, like in the pool that was
kind of comical, and our instructor made it comical and
we kind of chuckle. But I think it is important

(39:10):
to figure these things out, and there are different strategies
to reduce distractions. And like doctor Marissa said, in life,
you can set priorities, use time blocks, turn off different noise,
and you want to define what it is that you

(39:30):
want to accomplish. Like for me and my writing, I
know that I have my plays that I'm working on.
I know that I have my book that I'm working on,
and I know that I have my congressional seat the
election is next year, and I have my dates, I
have my times, I have my trainings. So I'm like, Okay,
we all have the same twenty four hours in the day,

(39:52):
and we all have to appropriate and prioritize our time accordingly.
And we have our loved ones that we want to
spend our time with. We have our friends that we
want to spend our time with, and it's important to
prioritize things, and we have to prioritize our health, our

(40:13):
mental sanity, and we also have to prioritize rest because
rest is important as well.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
Absolutely, So here are some tools that I used for myself.
I was laughing earlier, not at you, doctor Timney, but no, yeah, no,
I mean what a perfect show to be distracted by
the audio echo. I mean that is, I think that's hilarious,

(40:42):
like show odds are having a funny right now, because
definitely I'm being distracted by the audio. But these are
some tools that I use for myself on how not
to be as distracted. One is, I really need to
do this right now, So I get distracted, especially when

(41:04):
I know that I don't have a lot of time
and I might be late right So, I don't know
about you, but when I'm on like a schedule and
I know I need to get under the car to
get on my way to get somewhere on time, I
will find myself like I go to get a cup

(41:25):
to fill up my thermos for something to drink, and
then I realized that the dishwasher needs unloading, and I
don't have time to unload the dishwasher. But it's like
I have this sudden obsession to do that, and then
I'm late, which is so ridiculous because if I hadn't
done that stupid little thing, I would have been on time.

(41:48):
So what I do is I ask myself as soon
as I start doing something, is it red, green or yellow? Right?
So if it? If? If it is, uh, you know it.
It's like that triage thing is something. Are the dishes
gonna die if I don't unload them right now? No?

(42:12):
So I can do that later. A similar tool I
use is uh D, D D or D so do delay,
delegate or dump? Right, it's my four D. So in
the fraction of a second that I'm distracted with something

(42:32):
that someone wants me to do, someone asks me to
do right, I will not just go ahead and do
it because I have a you know, Penelope, the people pleaser,
and I have an underlying desire always a yes to
do something for you if you ask. But honestly, I
don't have the time right now to do that for you.

(42:55):
I have to go through that or my entire day
is on doing things that aren't dues, right, they are
delays or dumps.

Speaker 4 (43:09):
Yeah, And it's funny you should say that, because sometimes,
like I said, other people can be a distraction, but
sometimes you can distract yourself because you're like, Okay, I
want to do that. No, I don't want to do
that right now, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do X,
Y and Z. And as you procrastinate, you put things off,
and you delay yourself. You don't get the sleep you need,

(43:31):
you don't eat the way you should, you don't exercise
the way you should, And so you have to figure out, Okay,
how can I not distract my own self and how
can I avoid self sabotage? Because in this life, how

(43:52):
can I be true to myself and help myself? And
it can't be a challenge. And as we look at
what it is that we want out of life and
how we want to achieve our personal best, not the
best someone else wants for us, but what we want

(44:14):
for ourselves, and we can answer that for ourselves. No
one can answer it for us. And I can't answer
it for you, doctor Marissa can't answer it for you.
But as you achieve your own personal best, don't look
to the right, don't look to the left, but look within.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
Yeah, I think one of the things that distracts us
is wanting to use other people as a measure of
our own life goals and desires. That's the whole expression
of having it like the Joneses or being the Joneses.

(44:56):
And you know everybody has has this or this a
car or this kind of house or this kind of
money or this kind of material blah blah blah, and
that is a big life distraction that keeps us from
really as do jectivity is saying, understanding what's going to
make me happy? Really? Is that really going to make

(45:17):
me happy? And as I use Kate Spade and Anthony
Bourdain and Robin Williams as examples constantly, is the BS
the belief system that we grow up with of what
is happiness and what will bring you success? It's really
not true. It's bullshataki because if that were true, people

(45:42):
wouldn't be taking their own lives when they have all
that level of material success right that they have, and
or people who are constantly working eighty hours a week
to fulfill success and they're not happy that I'll be
happy when I achieved this. That's also not fulfilling, right.

(46:06):
You're being distracted by your own desires that are unrealistic.
I'm going to make X amount of dollars by this year.
It's like who gave you that number? And is that
really going to make you happy? So, as doctor Tiffany
was saying, when was the last time you sat down
and just said, instead of being distracted by what everybody

(46:27):
else thinks I should be doing or what I think
I should be doing based on the BS belief systems
I grew up with, Really, how am I going to
stay true to what I want? What is it that
I want? I want my journey on the way to
whatever I think I want? So if you want something,

(46:51):
you know you want it just to be happy? Can
I be happy in this journey towards it even when
I don't have it? Can I be happy single, happily, divorced,
not in a relationship with someone special? Can I still
be happy dating or swipe or no swiping? As I

(47:13):
make my way towards that particular vision so that my
friend is a good life not a hap but a
life question, a happy question for you?

Speaker 4 (47:28):
Oh? Absolutely? And I think it's important to hone in
on our focus because if we hone in on our
ability to focus and flex our focus ability, that will
decrease our ability to get distracted. Remember, no man is

(47:52):
an island. We want to interact with people, most of us.
I can't say all, because there are no absolute in life.
Are there very few absolutes in life because water is wet.
But if we hone in on our ability to focus,
we are less likely to be distracted and we are

(48:16):
able to see things as they are. And I think
when we are able to do that, we can practice
our mindfulness and we will be able to be the
person that we need to be, whether it is for

(48:39):
our interpersonal skills when it comes to relating to other people,
whether it is for our job skills, being more productive,
and I think if it's just for our healthy lifestyle.
I believe that as we grow and as we mature

(49:02):
as individuals, it will help boost our brain power and
we will see that we are we become more productive citizens,
and we will see that we become safer as we drive,
and we will become safer parents because our children model

(49:24):
what they see, and I think that that's important as well.
What do you think of.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
I was just being distracted by the child. Seriously, one
of my biggest distractors is this thing. So knowing that
I'm distracted by MS meaningless scrolling, I am cognizant of it,

(50:00):
and I've actually removed some things by on the phone,
like the news feature. I have wasted coors before I
did that, because it's you know, if it bleeds, it
leads right.

Speaker 7 (50:18):
And so the news itself is a weapon of mass distraction,
and I will fall prey to that because one, it's
good they do a good job.

Speaker 3 (50:29):
With the headlines. Number Two, I am not disciplined enough
with my focus. As doctor Tifney said, that's my most
powerful tool. I'm the boss of my attention. Sometimes I
feel so poor that I cannot pay attention. Just kidding me.
I want to exercise my ability to focus by choosing

(50:55):
what I'm paying attention to. So do you know what
your distractors are? Are you distracted by your phone? If
you are, maybe you want to plug it in in
a different room so that when you wake up you're
not reaching for it. Maybe you want to plug in
a different room so you're not falling asleep doing this right.
Maybe you don't want to have your TV on. I

(51:19):
gave away TV ten years ago because it was just like,
you're in this trance I'm distracted by the trance of
whatever's in there that's playing on loop. I mean, come on, folks,
why do we watch freaking car chases? It's most ridiculous

(51:39):
way to spend your time, but we all do it,
myself included. We're like, ooh, you know, and even when
it's newsworthy Twin Towers and it's horrific the first time
you watch it, it's horrific. But why, like roadkill, do
we continue to sit in front trance just distracted by

(52:01):
horrific news. That's why we don't talk or politics or religion,
because we're constantly distracted by something that we cannot control,
something that doesn't make us feel good, something that pisces
us off. So it is my job, my responsibilities and

(52:22):
only up to me. As started to people say, no
one can do this for me, I got to exercise
my own ability to choose. My most powerful tool in
life is choice.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
Well, I will not be giving away my TV. I
am not like doctor Marissa. I can love my TV.
And if you are like me, you have to be
true to yourself. So I will not be advocating for that.
And if you have been listening to this show, you
will know that doctor and Marissa and I we do
not always agree. So I have my subscriptions to my

(53:02):
shows and I will be keeping those. Uh, And they
are on my phone as well. When I take my trips,
I download them and I watch them on the plane
as well. And I also read. And let's see, I
actually have a couple of books that I have ordered. Yes,
I have my books as well that I have read

(53:24):
and I'm reading.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
And so yeah, I read too, don't get me wrong.
I read. Yes, you can watch TV TV yourself. There's
a balance, so you can TV.

Speaker 4 (53:43):
You can keep your TV and read books. So don't
throw your TVs out if that's.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
Not you, be true to you. But it is balanced.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
Yes, Yes, I read, I write, I read, I write,
I keep. I'm just saying it. Yeah, yeah, for those
who want to keep your boob tubes, it's all good.
Thumbs up to the boob tube. But what I want
to say is distractions are real.

Speaker 3 (54:16):
They can.

Speaker 4 (54:17):
They are often people, whether it's in the workplace and
whether it's in your private life, whether your friends are
distracting you, you know who they are. They come around.
They distract you from your obligations, They distract you from
your loved ones. They do what they do and you

(54:40):
just have to be true to you. I can't tell
you what to do, doctor Marissa cannot tell you what
to do. But I found a good quote and I'm
going to read it to you. It says, if you
don't separate yourself from your distractions, your distract as will

(55:01):
separate you from your goals and the life you want.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (55:07):
Yes, and the author was but I thought that that's true.
And if you don't recognize your distractions and what they are,
you cannot overcome them. And I think it's important to
know what your goals are, identify them, work towards them,

(55:30):
and once you know what your goals are, you can
achieve them.

Speaker 8 (55:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
Good final words. My final word is I remember when
I was doing my dissertation and I would clear out
a week and say, I'm going to sit down and
write it. I'm gonna same with the book that I'm
going to take this whole week. And the first day
of that week, I sit down, I go, I wonder
what's in the fridge or I didn't clean out that drawer.

(55:58):
So for me, a tool that I get to use
is called fifteen minutes at a time. And it helps
me just sit down and do fifteen minutes at a
time instead of laying out a whole time that gets lost.
So that's my final word. There's a practical tool if
you find yourself distracted.

Speaker 8 (56:22):
Thanks for joining us, Thanks for talking about squirrel, and
hopefully we've given you enough practical tools to be less distracted.

Speaker 3 (56:36):
Candy Crush is my current distraction. Again. I'm learning how
to just leave it alone. When I have no more lives,
I'm done. This is doctor Rrisa reporting lives in the
house with myself and doctor Tiffany Tate. It's all about balance.
Piece in peace out world, piece through in your piece.

(57:01):
Now go and have take it out, Doctor Tiffany.

Speaker 4 (57:04):
The best day ever.

Speaker 3 (57:09):
Thanks for joining us, Thanks the Queen z for making
the Cashew Gallery. I'll see you tomorrow with throwback Thursdays.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
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you've done it. Now. You're listening to casey AA Lomlinda,
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Speaker 3 (57:51):
NBC news on Caseyaada sponsored by Teamsters Local nineteen thirty
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