September 15, 2025 • 59 mins
KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa on Mon, 15 Sep, 2025
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jump off that exhausting amster wheel and into balance. Living
with Doctor Marissa from Miss You Joy. Doctor Marissa, also
known as the Asian Oprah. Her mission to be a
beneficial presence on the planet, her purpose to be your
personal advocate, to live, lap love, learn her life motto,
(00:22):
don't die wondering. Take back your life with Doctor Maurissa Pey.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
And welcome. You're tuned to take my advice, I'm not
using it. Get balance with Doctor Marissa. That's the morning
show here on KCAA, NBC News, CNBC News, NBC Sports
Radio station AMM FIFTYM one or six point five, home
to the Asian Oprah and number one talking the ie
(00:52):
thank you in this time slot and I am grateful
and happy.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
That you're here.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Today is day mon mental health matters, mondays, and let's
start the way we always do here at the balancing
out of bad news with good news. I don't talk
about the headlines. I don't talk about politics, religion. Why
(01:23):
Because I want to start every day off on the
most positive foot instead of the negative. If it bleeds,
it leads, And that's why we do that. And breakfast
consists of taking a bite of my gratitude sandwich. If
you're tuning in right now and you can't see me,
that's because you're not on my YouTube TV channel, which
(01:43):
is live every weekday morning. If you're free subscribing, give
me the finger, this one, not the other one. Misus
the thumbs up. You will be able to watch and listen.
If you are driving right now listening on the CACAA side,
please do not chat with me, because I want you
to focus on the road. But when you do get someplace,
go to my show Central and you'll be able to
(02:06):
interact with me every weekday morning. And then it also
goes to iHeartRadio, Spotify, Stitcher, Sorry no more Stitcher, iHeartRadio, Spotify,
it Ties, tune in, Audible, Amazon Music, Tiki Live, Rubbo podchaster,
and streaker speaker. So I am, it's gonna take a
(02:28):
breath right now in through the nose, am released through
the mouth, O the stories and the drama. Instead, We're
gonna start this day. I don't care how you woke
up and how frazzled you are right now, you can
start your day over right now with me and just
take that deep breath in.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I am grateful for This is the top of the button.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Of the gratitude sandwich, the fact that I, thanks to
hashtag COVID silver Lighting, I'm able to broadcast out of
my loving room in Long Beach, California, on the beach,
and it's much easier to do that than to sit
in traffic for an hour. I think it's one of
(03:13):
the best things that happen with COVID is the understanding
and the realization we can't do everything without face to face,
but we can do a lot more than we thought
we could in an easier way. I am grateful that
I have this amazing cup of coffee every single morning
(03:33):
that is so tasty and so wonderful. I can be
one with my coffee. I am grateful that even though
I'm not on tour flying, I would have been in
Hawaii this month. I am grateful that I still get
(03:59):
to do fun things. And I will be this Saturday
doing a book signing a reading first time in a
jewelry store Jay and L Jewelry in the traffic circle
right next to Marshalls in Long Beach, California. So that's
(04:21):
from twelve to four, and the fabulous people at J
and L are going to treat you a champagne as
well as twenty.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Five percent off all jewelry. And also I'll be.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Giving Audiobook's twenty dollars value with every signed book, which
you all know. This little Pappilla wet number one on
Amazon and national bestseller, and best of all, it's helping
a lot of people who are knowing that they're not
(05:00):
as happy as they could be. So eight ways to
happiness from wherever you are. So if you're anywhere driving
distance from Long Beach, California, I expect to see you
on Saturday. I'll move on microphone. We'll do some shout
outs and things like that. So that is I'm grateful for.
(05:21):
What else am I grateful for? I'm grateful for really
good series that I get to watch with really good friends,
which is kind of fun. We connect remotely, start the
series what at the same time, and then text each
other with comments like, oh my goodness, that outfit on
(05:41):
gilded A guilded is a gilded age, it's gilded something.
I just call it guilded. But man, if you want
to see some beautiful outfits, I'm a fashionista and we
have a lot of fun doing that. So I'm grateful
for my girlfriend and Marie, who I get to do
that with and it's a lot of fun. I am
(06:01):
grateful for my two beautiful inside and out daughters, Chloe
May Sarah Away. It's Chloe's birthday this Friday the thirteenth,
or Saturday. It's Saturday the thirteenth, but yeah, Friday the thirteenth.
Sometimes her birthday falls on, So since I'll be having
guests the rest of the week, we'll do the birthday now.
(06:24):
Uh day, the best speak girl in the whole wide world.
Chloe May A happy to who you, so proud of
who you are, of what you have accomplished, of what
you are still to be. And I love you with
(06:47):
all of my heart. And there it is. And May,
by the way, if those of you who thought I
was Swedish, I'm actually trying to spake is a a
Chinese word that means beautiful, which my beloved father, doctor
David Pay, who passed from lyunphoma, but he got to
name her before he passed. With the middle all right,
(07:11):
I am grateful, finally, not finally, I am grateful that
the planets did not crash into each other last night
and we have another beautiful day in the neighborhood to
live love, laugh, learn, create, delight in, innovate and have
(07:33):
fabulous relationships with each other on the planet as we
move through and grew through this thing called life. And
that's the top of the Bible. What are you grateful for?
I don't see anybody see eyeballs in the studio. You
must be driving, which is fine. Don't put your gratitudes
in the comment section. But whenever you watch this an
(07:53):
hour later, please do play along with me. It's a
good life habit to start your day with gratitude. And
then bottom of the bunt. This is doctor Wayne Dyers
at the gratitudes five at the top of the day.
And I'm an overachiever, so I say eight, and it's
a homophone for good fortune, and it's why you see
(08:20):
a lot of eight in the Chinese culture. So I
do eight. And then the bottom of the bun, I
do to model for you something to do before you
go to bed tonight. So top of the bun, you
are grateful for things that are outside of yourself. Bottom
of the bun, you are grateful for things inside of yourself.
(08:40):
So what do you like about yourself? And the reason
why I ask people to do this, either in happiness
coaching or any platform my mind, I as a motivational speaker,
even in stand up and also on this platform for
the show, which by the way, is every Monday, I
(09:01):
mark the consecutive week, and it is consecutive week number
six hundred and ninety seven that I have been doing this.
But who's counting? And they said my show would not
last over a year because I don't talk about the headlines.
And yeah, thirteen plus years later, I think we're at
(09:23):
thirteen and a half. Now I'm still here, and I'm
really grateful that there is an audience. I just pulled
it up, but I didn't have time to look. Let's
see if it comes up quickly. Yes, four million and
twenty seven thousand, eight hundred and forty five impressions later
on my YouTube TV channel. Yes, still here and still
(09:46):
encouraging and cajoling people into eighty eight percent happiness. That's
my mission, eighty eight million more happy people in the
next eight years.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
So the bottom of the bun is what do you
like about yourself?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
You really can't have a happy life if you are
your own worst enemy, if your own worst critic, if
you're harder on yourself than anybody else, that that is
a sure surefire away to be unhappy, because no matter
(10:22):
what you do, no matter what you succeed, you're not
going to be happy if you are harder on yourself,
if you keep shoulding yourself. I shouldn't have said this,
I should have done that. So before you go to
bed tonight, what I'd like you to do is, instead
of thinking about those things, is to highlight what you
do like about yourself. And I know your parents, well
(10:45):
meaning parents, sometimes more mean than well said, don't toot
your own horn, and who do you think you are?
Speaker 3 (10:53):
And certainly there's balance and humility, but we've created this
situation where a lot of people are looking for love
and likes in all the wrong places.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
If you're on social media, you measure your worth and
your value by how many likes you have, literally and
that is again a not very solid way to live
your life so that you're happy eighty eight percent of
the time. So I want you to know what you're
good at, what you like about yourself, what qualities do
(11:27):
you have that you actually appreciate, and that it's a discipline,
as my big brother Michael Bernard Beckwick will say, it's
something that you have to practice. So if you have
trouble with this, keep practicing. I'm here every morning to
help you do it. I also want you to think
(11:48):
about the last time you've got a compliment. That's a
good place to start, even if you didn't believe it.
If someone said to you, oh, you're so caring, right,
and you don't think you're caring, well, you should see.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Me when I'm you know, at home or wherever it is.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Someone thinks you're caring. So at some level you are caring.
So embrace it and say I am caring. And that's
what I will say. I am caring.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Not all the time, but at least eighty eight.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Percent of the time. I am caring bringing you this
for six hundred and ninety seven consecutive weeks, even when
I didn't feel like it is based from care. I
think I am. I'm grateful, sorry, I appreciate that I
am funny. I have been doing stand up now for
(12:42):
a couple of months shy of a year, and I'm
getting great feedback from the community that I am actually funny,
even though my wesband formerly known as Nickmod didn't think so.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
But I am owning my funny and I appreciate that I.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Am verbose, sometimes a little too verbose, but I that's
my job. And I appreciate that I don't follow the
bonds or bondage of my culture that says Asian women
(13:21):
should be quiet, should be homemakers, lord knows should be.
I do cook well, though, Let's just you know, just
in case any of the guys from my apps are listening.
I know I had.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
I had a match that I was actually excited about.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
And then, to be funny, I said, you know when
when whenever someone says like, well, I always wanted to data
Asian woman, I will immediately respond with I'm not cooking
for you, I'm not cleaning for you.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
And the only I'm going to walk on your back
is with high heels on it.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
And it's it's been a joke of running joke, and
he was actually looking for someone a little more Asian,
should I say in the stereotypical way, So yeah, I
although the principle is still there, I should probably not should,
(14:20):
but it would be useful if I balanced it out
by saying that was a joke and I actually am
a really good cook. However, I do make a lot
of reservations However, it is a lot of fun to
meet someone that you can cook with and balance my
whole dating entree approach. I love to talk about that
(14:42):
on Straight Talk on Friday. But one last thing that
I like about myself is that I like my smile.
I like it feels good to smile. It usually has
the effect of making other people feel more at ease,
and so I do.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
I do like my spile, and I appreciate my spile.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
And yeah, especially when I'm on my own in the studio,
all the guys at Casey Aay just have a running
joke around. She doesn't need a guest, and I actually
started Mental Health Matters Mondays so that I didn't have
to have a guest. But it's also mind name Mondy
(15:26):
or rainy days.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
And Mondays always.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Get me up. Hashtag upe, hashtag unlimited possibilities. The real
reason I started Mental Health Matters.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Mondays is because.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
So many people now, thanks to my honorable moniker Oprah,
do attend and pay attention and nor have normalized the
whole discussion around mental health awareness. The stigma is way not.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
A stigma as much as it was maybe ten years ago,
certainly twenty years ago, even China is.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Talking about the importance of mental health, and that's something
that you know when I was there in two thousand
and nine and I was brought in to talk about
mental health. And a disclaimer, I am not a PhD
in clinical psychology. I'm a PhD in organizational psychology, so
I'm not a license by choice clinical psychologist, but I
(16:35):
am an organizational psychologist, which deals with the intersection of
business and human dynamics, so power, politics, leadership, or lack
thereof stress at work, joy at work, meaning at work.
So it does.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Encompass mental health individually and as a.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Culture in the operation. But I do do happiness coaching
because I do know that it is of tant amount
importance that you are in touch with what is it
about you? What are your BS belief systems that keep
(17:19):
you in the lower half of your emotional spectrum, So anger, sadness, sadness,
on steroids, depression, all of those lower emotions that keep
you unhappy versus the piece, satisfaction, wonder, the light, exhilaration, excitement,
(17:45):
those emotions are so important to life. Happiness certainly is
one of those. I use happiness as an umbrella for
those above sea level emotions and we now talk about it, right.
(18:06):
Simone Biles did great things for the normalization of talking
about that. The tennis player that I'm going to forget
her name also did that really well. I mean so
many now professionals. Caleb the swimmer, I love him probably
(18:26):
the most because he is a guy and he won
gold medals, and yet the next Olympics he talked about
the beatings he would get from himself. So it is
important to look at mental health. However, a lot of
people run straight to a numbing thing, whether it's a person, place,
(18:55):
or a thing, to numb themselves so they don't have
to feel that sadness or overwhelming sense of fear, anxiety,
all of that and numbing, whether it's by medication, or
it's by shopping, or it's by gambling, or it's by
(19:16):
a relationship. Whatever it is that you're using to not
deal with your own mental health is only masking or
pushing down something that you gotta deal with. And certainly
there is room, of course for medication, there's room for.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
A psychologists or a psychiatrist.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
But and it's my BS my belief system, that there's
a little space between recognizing that you're not in the
best mental health and then rushing to something outside of yourself.
(20:04):
So that little gap is why I started Mental Health
Matters My things. There are things that you can do
that you have more power than you think you do
to help yourself get a little bit further in your
(20:26):
own happiness without going to a program necessarily or someone else,
or a drug that has not side effects but main effects.
And so when I hear that you not only have
to take this drug, but if it doesn't work really well,
(20:47):
you take this drug to make this drug work. And
then they list all of those side effects that make
my skin crawl because the side effects are kind of
worse than the actual feelings of sadness that you be
going through. I get a little concerned. So that's why
we do this series, and that's why we look at
things that are naturally bringing you down, bringing you more
(21:12):
unhappiness than happiness, and see if we can't come up
with some solutions or at least some things to try
before we go to that next level of help. So
this is Mental Health Matters mondays, where you get to
exercise your own ability through your most powerful tool, which
(21:37):
is called choice. It's a check word, not a c
word those free the commitment. It's a check word, but
it is honestly because I focus on personal mastery as
an important foundation for a happy life. It is one
of the things that really we don't talk about, or
(21:59):
we don't deal with, or we don't take responsibility for.
And so you'll hear a little bit of tough love
for me today because I am your I'm paid for.
Although if you want to give some funds to my
nonprofit eight Ways to Happiness, go to my website, Doctor
(22:21):
Murscott Life for asianoprah dot Online. Then certainly I love
money because money helps the platform expand and this message expand.
So I am grateful to all those who continue to
come up and thank me for the work that I'm doing.
(22:41):
And at the same time, if you have some funds
you want to a good donation base to help this
work continued, please do. But where was I? Okay? Mental
health Monday Matters and today's topic is said everything is awesome.
(23:07):
Double D. That's a double D, not a brass eyes,
but double D desire and disappointment. Desire and disappointment. And
the reason why I wanted to touch this topic and
I don't think I've ever done it before. Is because
(23:28):
I meet a lot of people in my coaching practice
whose unhappiness comes from disappointment.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
They wanted to be whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
It is fill in the blank. They wanted to be
a mom and they can't have children. They wanted to
be the rocket scientist and they couldn't pass the engineering course.
They wanted to be a pro player or a pro
musician and it's not coming. They want to be an
actor and actresses is not coming. In a lot of rechaar.
So that whole disappointment word D, which is tied to
(24:07):
your initial desire another D, is the source of a
lot of unhappiness. So that's how we're talking about. Okay, okay, doki.
All right? So I started first half always talking about
the reality. Putting the moose on the table. This is
(24:32):
my Canadian version of talking about the elephant in the room.
So there's my moose. We're gonna put it on the table.
Are you disappointed? What are you disappointed about? In life?
Do you have disappointments? Feel free to put them in
the chat. I will say I I'll start out about
(24:52):
my own life. I'm super disappointed that my body likes
to make blood clots, made the first one in nineteen
nin six, and the piece broke GoF went into my lung,
so I had a pulinary embalism. I had one DVT
deep bank thrombosis started behind my left knee, broke off.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Traveled everywhere, and I'm disappointed that.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
It has done it again. And two days before I
got on a plane to go on world tour six
months in different countries, at a different country every month,
they found two more plots, and one behind my knee
and one sorry yeah, one from the middle of my
(25:36):
calf to the back of my knee and the second
one from the top of my knee to microin. And
I'm disappointed. I had plans. I had so many fun things. Africa, Canada.
I did to Canada, but that was because my mom
(25:57):
passed and for the funeral. But I had worked there,
I Shanghai, Taiwan, Ireland, Hawaii. So all of those.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Gone, all of the work and talking and book signing and.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
All of that gone.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
And I'm disappointed, definitely disappointed.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
My desire was to go back on tour with the
book and continue, you know, Happy eighty eight mission, eighty
eight million more happy people in the next eight years.
And that did not happen. It is not happening. I've
been branded for a year. I am disappointed. What are
you disappointed? Oh, you thought this relationship was gonna work.
(26:44):
I thought this date was going to happen. On my
way to Santiago and I got a message, met someone
last night. There was a huge there was a spark,
and so canceled the day. Disappointed. He was a lawyer.
You know, I'm very attracted to professional only because I
(27:09):
want to do something different than the divorce. Let's just
put it that way. I'm disappointed that I'm not gonna
be able to spend my daughter's birthday with her, even
though you know they're at that age where mom coming
along is not necessarily a good thing. But yeah, I'm
(27:32):
disappointed about that. I'm disappointed that why I'm not going
to spend Christmas with my favorite aunt who lives in Taiwan.
I'm disappointed that I'm gonna put myself in a bad
mood if I keep going. But this is the reality.
(27:53):
In the first half of the show. What is the
thing that you're disappointed about it? I don't see any
comments yet. I'm disappointed that the the guy didn't turn out,
or the girl didn't turn out, or your partner didn't
turn out to be the everlasting love that you wanted.
You're disappointed you didn't get that raise. You're disappointed that
you didn't get that promotion. You're disappointed that you didn't
(28:17):
get to see your loved one before they passed. You're
disappointed that all of the dreams and desires that you
had to become famous are not coming true. So disappointment
is a huge downer on happiness. Disappointment, I think will
(28:44):
bring you down, especially if you don't acknowledge the disappointment
that my dad used to say, hope for the best,
but prepare for the worst, or hope for the best,
but the reality of these going to be a disappointment.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
And that's how he lived his life.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
And so I was raised to be anchored by, you know,
waiting for the other shoe to draw, and that impending
or real disappointment definitely will erase or dampen or bring
down any level of happiness that you might have. Now.
(29:31):
I am not saying that you should pretend that you
are not disappointed. That's probably one of the worst things
that you could do. Is and those of you who
are tuned in from Agabe. You know, spiritual bypass is
(29:51):
definitely not a good way to go to pretend that
you're not human, to pretend that you don't have some
human reactions and emotions that are important to feel because
you're alive. That's not a solution. So kind of like
(30:13):
put pasting a smile on your face, or as Abraham
Hicks will say one of my other teachers, I love it.
You know, you see your your you don't put a
happy face sticker on your gas gauge, so you don't
see that when you have normal for gas, like that's silly.
That's the same thing is to pretend that you're not disappointed.
(30:33):
And the commercial that I'll give for this before we
go on break is emotions are on a spectrum, and
there are higher feeling emotions like exhilaration.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
And excitement and let's see, is it Friday?
Speaker 2 (30:52):
It's not Friday's Monday, but you know the big old
for hitting that g spot that that's a high emotion,
and then the lower level emotions sadness, sadness on steroids, deppression, anger, resentment,
and the all of those are lower and in an
(31:12):
effort not to feel bad, I will.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
Say that those are usually seen as feeling bad about
yourself or about someone else.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
When you cut off the bat and come up here
and say no, I'm gonna feel any of this, what
happens is this also comes down. So emotions don't work
like a normal door open and closed. You have emotions
or not emotions. You are like this. If you like
(31:44):
a dumb waiter. I'm surprised waiters haven't said I don't
like that expression or the description of a door. That's
a dumb waiter. But in the old days, certainly in
the I will say the twenties, they would send food
and close thing up and down elevators in a dumbwaiter,
and the dumbwaiter closes like this. So it's the best
(32:06):
way I know of encouraging you to feel those lower
emotions safely. You don't spew at people or act on anger,
but you express your anger safely, like stomping in the stairwell.
If you hear that in any company, you know I've
(32:27):
worked there and consulted with them as a corporate psychologist,
because that's one of the ways to release negative energy
is you literally stop near my feet on the ground.
You can put that person's face on the step if
you'd like.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
That's for extreme cases of anger.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
So you know that I used to say screaming, but
when you're screaming, you heard your voice, and my voice
is my livelihood. So silent screams are good. My daughters
and I created this where you just and you don't scream,
but your face is contorted like a scream, biting your
(33:10):
pillow always in which to release the excess volume called
negative energy. And it is important to do this because
negative energy takes that more space to positive energy in
your body. So expressing your disappointment, have an appointment to
(33:31):
express your disappointment safely with yourself or with a VNT partner.
And I'm getting ahead of myself. I have to take
a quick break for news weather traffic on my NBC
news radio channel KZAA, the station that leaves no listener behind.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
So don't go away, we'll be right back. Remind me
to talk about VENT.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Partner as a happy eighty eight tool to help you
stay happy eighty eight percent of the time with even
with disappointment.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
So don't go away, We'll be right back in two
and two.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
In trouble, or used to say, but I say things
don't go away, We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Well. She has been dubbed the Asian Oprah and she
just wants all of us to be happy.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Doctor Marissa aka the Asian Oprah says, the most important
thing you can choose is choosing to be happy.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show called.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Take My Advice. I'm not using it. Get Balanced with
Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
That's the idea for it. Doctor Marissa Pay's new book
call Eight Ways to Be Happy. Many of us say
I am my own worst critic.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Nobody's harder on me than I am. And my response
to that is stop it.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Why are you doing that to yourself?
Speaker 6 (35:26):
You have to be your biggest fan, because if you can't,
at the end of the day say I did a
good job, who is We don't have to constantly be
angry at the things that are wrong. Why don't we
choose to be.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Happy about things that are right. We have the choice.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
That's our muscle, and life is so amazing if we
can see it.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Take back your life with Doctor Mauricia.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Pey and we're back. You're going to take my advice.
I'm not using a kit. Balance with Doctor Marissa Good
Morning Show. You're on KCAA NBC News c NBC News
and NBC Sports radio station home to the Asian Oprah
and number one talk in the Ie. Thank you very much,
(36:30):
and streaming everywhere. iHeartRadio, Spotify and of course by YouTube
TV channel where you can watch and listen. Thanks to
the cameras in the studio. And yeah, free subscribe. Give
me the finger this one thumbs up, not the other one,
and you'll give an alert every weekday morning for this
show about hope and happiness. No gossip, no scandal, no kwords,
(36:53):
no Kardashian talk, no politics, no t talk, no anything
that is. If it bleeds, it leads, it's not going
to be here. You have plenty of places, actually everywhere
else to tune into the headlines. I take the last
real good story that usually is in the news hour
(37:13):
at stretch it out into an entire hour. For the
past six hundred and ninety seven consecutive weeks, that's thirteen
and a half years for those of you are math
challenge like myself. But yeah, so I'm so glad you're here.
It is Monday, Monday, mental health matters Mondays. And before
(37:39):
I forget to tell you. This is the Asian Oprah
giveaway today. It is an audiobook copy of my number
one best selling national bestseller Eight Ways to Happiness from
wherever you are and you can get a signed copy
actually from me this Saturday at jams and L Jewelry
(38:02):
in on Beach, California in person, since my international tour
has been canceled, but I am locally accessible now for you,
So if you're anywhere in the area, please come twelve
to four free champagne twenty five percent off all jewelry
and shout out to j and L Jewelry four hosting
(38:24):
my local Yo goal book signing and I'll do readings
at one and two, So twelve to four this Saturday.
But if you want a free audiobook copy, if you're
from anywhere else in the world, just go to Asianoprah
dot online and you will get access to my Happy
(38:47):
eighty eight tribe. If you put in your email, you
will be able to get the promo code today for
the audio book copy that is in my shop. Uh
so this is let's see if I go back and
(39:14):
so see that little email that comes up as soon
as you put in Yeah, then this is uh, this
is where I live online and you can find out
all of the things that I am available for you
for and uh yeah, if you go to the shop. Actually,
if you go, this is kind of cool. Some people
(39:36):
someone told me, Oh, I didn't even know. These are
some people you may recognize, Jimmy Kimmel, Halle Berry, Stevie Wonder,
John Travolta, so Beautiful, Don Wells, Layla Ali, my Fabulous
Champaincy Jones. All of that you can find on my
(39:57):
website Agent oprah dot Online. And then most importantly for you,
if you want to take me home with you, there's
various there's coaching, affordable coaching, Happiness coaching, the book as well,
the DVD for my moving meditation, Balance, Tai Chi Go,
(40:21):
my children's book. Some of these are free with donation
to my nonprofit, Eight Ways to Happiness. There's music there
and that's kind of cool. That's happening soon. I'm going
back into music and I'm excited about that.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
So that is Asian Over giveaway for today is the
audio book of Eight Ways to Happiness.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So what were we talking about? Disappointment and tools with
which to process through disappointment in a healthy way without
hurting anybody, including yourself, by burying disappointment, because when you
bury disappointment inside your body, it will affect not just
(41:10):
your mental health, but your physical health as well. It's
a one correlation with stress in your body and chronic illness, inflammation,
heart disease, you name it. It is now not just
a supposition or a theory. Mayo Clinic, Harvard Medical. They
(41:34):
are all doing studies on stress and the impact on
your health. And certainly chronic disappointment or unprocessed disappointment is
going to affect you your mental health and your physical health.
So that's why the things you can do on your
(41:54):
own stomping, releasing, fighting.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Hellose, I took a plastic.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Back to vinyl pouch when I had to release some
really really deep, deep deep disappointments about having a normal
childhood or having a loving mom. I can I can
bring myself back to that day and then feeling of
freedom after releasing that core amount of resentment and anger
(42:27):
and hostility that I had and extreme disappointment was palpable.
So I want that for you, those deep, deep, deep
ones you may want to do with somebody the surface disappointment,
like I really wanted to go to that party like,
that's a surface disappointment. I really wanted it to be
(42:49):
sunny this weekend. Surface disappointment. They're called quality problems. Doesn't
mean you're not disappointed, but those you're you can go
back and you can use. A vent partner. Event partner
is someone that you trust, that can close mouth friend,
who you get two minutes to vent. Now, that's what.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Event partner is. I have a vent partner.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I have several event partners depending on what I'm venting
on who I can call and just say, don't need
a solution, just need to vent, all right. That person's
job is to remain non suggestion oriented. They are not
(43:36):
an advice giver. They are just away with which they're
just a sounding board with no sound really except to
say I'm so sorry or oh I wish that hadn't happened,
and that's all they say. Okay, no, Well if you
(43:59):
think it's it's that bad, if you think that's bad,
let me tell you what happened to me. That is
not a vent partner. That is a one up partner.
We don't want that. It's going to make you more
piss off in this you're going to be even more
disappointed in that front. So you choose your bed partner
wisely and you say, do you want to do this
(44:21):
with me? It requires two minutes of your time. You
put them on a timer. That's what the vent partner does.
You have on your phone or whatever, a two minute set.
You hit start, and you let them say whatever they
need to say, bad words. You have to make it
an agreement. Are you okay with bad words? I would
(44:41):
suggest finding someone because there's a lot more release when
you use a bad word. I'm not advocating bad words,
especially not on this station with FCC violations, but sometimes
it's a very you know, the F word will get
that negativity out. Now. I'm not saying that you should
go all the time, but sometimes a few well placed
(45:05):
words will allow.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
You to release that disappointment in a strong way.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
So you don't have to spend as long. You can
cut it short. It may not even be two minutes.
I've cut mine down to sixteen seconds because I'm a
believer in the law of attraction and I want I
don't want another negative thought to enter into me after
sixteen seconds, so mine's less. Butt's start with two minutes.
If you're a complainer, if you're a worry wart, if
(45:31):
you know yourself and you have a habit of complaining
about your disappointments, I'm gonna ask you to do a
VENT partner and begin to take your disappointment complaining about
them to two minutes, all right, and then that person
(45:52):
gets to come back and do their two minutes when
they need to. May not be right then, however, does
not follow singular rollover rules.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
You cannot use four minutes the following day.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
You have to do the two minutes that day or
you lose it. And if you lose it, that's fine.
If you don't have anything to vent about, don't vent. However,
most of us, if we don't vent, or we think
we're like we're above all that, or as George.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
Costanz's father did on Seinfeld that episode.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Where Serenity now, Serenity now, and every time he was
disappointment he would cover it up with serenity now, until
it bubbled up to the extent that he ruined a million.
He took it back to a million dollars of computer equipment.
So we don't want that. So if you have a
(46:51):
VENT partner once a day that you can just express
your disappointment, it will go away. Because how do you
get things to go away? This is a good question.
If you keep talking about the same thing that thisses
you off, it will not go away. That's the law
(47:12):
of attraction. What you focus on will grow bigger and
it just that's why I'm known to say, if you
don't like what you're.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
Looking at, quit looking at it.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
If you're not liking what happened, quit talking about it.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
But this is things that we can control.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
This is personal mastery. We're the boss of our mouth
or the boss of our choices of where we're focusing.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
And yet we think there's.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Something wrong with us when we keep thinking the same
thing over and over.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Well, heck, hello, hello, you think you're doing that to yourself?
Speaker 2 (47:51):
You continue to bring negativity into your life by continuing
the habit of focusing on it. That's why we start
with the gratitude sandwich. Ah, That's why we don't start
with talking about the news. That's all the news is
is old complaining about how bad people are and the
(48:15):
bad things they do, and the horrible things and tragedies
that happen to everybody. Again, bad things happen. That's part
of life. The thing that bad thing. Why do bad
things happen to good people? Have nothing to do whether
you're good or bad. Bad things just happen, but great
things happen too. There are more good things happening around
(48:35):
you than bad things. But because you have a habit
of focusing on the bad things, gus what you're gonna
see more bad things. And the good news is the
reverse is drue. The more you focus on good things,
the more good things you'll see. My life is a
(48:56):
reflection of this particular blissophline of this good life habit.
I am so adamant that I want to feel good
that every time I don't feel good, I don't know
spiritual bypass, I say, why am I not feeling good? Well,
one hundred percent of the time I'm thinking about something
(49:18):
that doesn't make me feel good. Of like the world tour,
I can't go on. And that's my choice to think
or keep talking about it. I talk about it on
the show, not to keep bringing it up, but as
to give you an example that my life is definitely
not perfect. And I'm you know, I have beautiful things,
(49:40):
but I have shataki that happens too. But I will
tell you about it. And then I choose to focus,
because I've already done my venting, thank you for the heart.
I choose to focus on the good that is happening
in my life, and so much good happening in my life.
(50:02):
And guess what, folks, there's so much good stuff happening
in your life too. Oh but doctor Presla, you don't
know what I'm going through. I probably have a good idea.
It's either something to do with not enough money, or
something to do with not enough love, or something to
do with who done me wrong, or something to do
(50:23):
with who disappointed me, or something to do with my health,
or something to do with my relationship.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
Yeah, I probably got.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
You in that. I got at least eighty eight percent
of y'all when you do that. And guess what, folks,
that's not your life. That's not the totality of your life.
Your physical diagnosis is not who you are. You have
symptoms of depression, you are not a depressed person, full stop.
Speaker 3 (50:58):
That is your identity.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
You're lonely.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
You have feelings of loneliness.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
That will pass if you quit reveling in your loneliness. Well,
they don't love me, Well, don't go to the tractor
for milk. They're not capable of loving you, But there
are people that are capable of loving you, so turn
(51:29):
to them.
Speaker 3 (51:31):
Or maybe you need to work on yourself. Are am
I lovable?
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Like? I want this, this and a guy? Right? I
have to ask myself first, Am I this and this? Myself?
I want a generous guy? Am I generous? Right?
Speaker 3 (51:46):
I want a funny guy?
Speaker 2 (51:47):
Am I funny? I want a successful guy? Am I successful?
So this is also a self improvement exercise. Right? Are
you disappointed in something you cannot control? This is a
big one people, okay, the war against drugs, the war
against obesity, the war against starvation, the war against sexual predators,
(52:13):
the war against If you're pushing and fighting against something
that you don't like, you're continuing to give that movement energy.
Speaker 3 (52:22):
Right. When people talk about I hate.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
The you know, the politics, whatever it is, whichever side
you're on, you are giving the other side some energy.
So if you want them to be less powerful, quit
being angry and ranting about them that energy.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
But doctor Brissa, I have to do something.
Speaker 2 (52:49):
I can't just put my head in the sand. I
never said put your head in the sand, although sometimes
that is preferable. You know, when things are that crazy
around you, you might want to go have a moment
with yourself. Put your head in the sand, not toilet bowl,
put your head in your own imaginary sand, and breathe
in through the nose. And remember, right.
Speaker 3 (53:12):
You have money in your wallet, that's your food in
the fridge, that you have a roof.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
Over your head, that you you have a car you
can go anywhere, that you have the money for gas,
that you have memories. Go to your phone.
Speaker 3 (53:25):
I always that's one of my happy eighty eight tools, right,
turn on a dime of memories.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
Anytime I'm thinking about the tour and how much I'm losing,
I go to my phone and I find some really
great videos of experiences that I've had that make me smile,
make me laugh. That is who I am. I am
the sum total of all good things that have happened,
some bad things, but some good mostly good things, and
(53:53):
even the bad things chiseled me into the person I
am now.
Speaker 3 (53:58):
So even the bad things, we're not bad.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
Hello, So focus, right, So work with the disappointment individually. First.
If that doesn't do it, go to vent partner. Okay,
which is gonna do it? Because the rule I'm venting
is you cannot talk about that again. Let me say
(54:26):
that again. When you have a vent partner and you
spend two minutes ranting about something, you cannot talk about
it again. You only can talk about it again if
something new happens. And that, my friends, is a habit.
If you can do this personal mastery, habit of only
expressing your disappointment once for two minutes and never again,
(54:49):
when you don't think about it.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
It will slide away.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
You may get some trigger in the future, but it's
not like constantly talking about it, complaining about it and
how disappointed you are two words.
Speaker 3 (55:06):
Just stop it.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Now, let's talk about desire. In the last two minutes.
I want to talk about desire more. Mhm. The reason
why I wanted to lead out on desire is because
desire is not a bad word, thanks to the Church
(55:30):
and religion. Humans definition of you know, money's evil, desire
and sex and uh uh it's uh you know, uh, exhilaration,
the old word g spot whatever it is. All of
(55:50):
that is evil. That is not true. That's a bs
a belief system that will keep you in a mediocre life.
And I don't want anybody to have a mediocre life.
Life is about fully expressing and feeling what it is
to be human and all of its wonder and brand.
You're also knowing your spiritual being having a human experience.
But while you're on this earth, on this planet as
(56:13):
a human being, Lord knows, let's just feel good most
of the time. Let's be happy eighty eight percent of
the time. And desire is a beautiful way to set
an intention for something. And when you have an experience
(56:35):
of something you don't want.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
Abraham Hicks, that's a desire rocket.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
I'll never forget the first time I heard them at
a revelation conference that we were putting on at a
Gothic and when she said that, when Esther said, whenever
you know what you don't want, disappointment, you know what
you do want desire. So when you meet someone that's
(57:02):
mean to you, you set off a rocket of desire
to want to have people around you that are nice
to you. That's normal.
Speaker 3 (57:12):
What we do to shoot ourselves in the foot is
we continue to look at the person who is mean
and complain and try to change them into a person
that will be nice to you. And it's not possible.
Speaker 2 (57:24):
You don't have the control, and they're you know, you
probably attracted them because you didn't work through some of
the stuff that says I'm only worthy of people who
are not nice to me, and that's on you, Booth.
We can stop attracting people like that by saying I'm
(57:45):
not going to go to the tractor for milk. I
have a desire for nicer people, So I'm going to
turn my attention away from that person's who's being knowing
that I set off the rocket of desire, and then
go on my way not looking necessarily for nice people,
because that energy, too, is a yearning, and it just
(58:09):
highlights the fact that you don't have nice people around you,
but just.
Speaker 3 (58:12):
Go on about your day and look for things to appreciate.
Speaker 2 (58:16):
That's abrahams Okay, I've already set off the desire for
nicer people. Right The universe is conspiring for you, never
against you. Has a plethora of nice people around. Your
only job is to feel good. Your only job is
to say one of am I having the best feeling
(58:36):
that I can right now? Do I feel good right now?
If I don't feel good, let me see what I'm
focused on and shift the focus. I don't have to
worry about my desire. All of my desires are met.
I just have to stay in that best possible place.
And I can't believe I myself. I've run myself out
of time. I hope that you come back tomorrow. Great
(58:58):
doors of change, folks coming tomorrow. In the meantime, it's
all about balance piece and piece out world peace through
inner piece. Hope you have to enjoyed this. Uh, I
want to say lecture this talk the double D Desired Disappointment.
You can always find this on my YouTube TV's channel
(59:19):
free subscriber see tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (59:22):
Now go and have the best date ever.
Jump off that exhausting amster wheel and into balance. Living
with Doctor Marissa from Miss You Joy. Doctor Marissa, also
known as the Asian Oprah. Her mission to be a
beneficial presence on the planet, her purpose to be your
personal advocate, to live, lap love, learn her life motto,
(00:22):
don't die wondering. Take back your life with Doctor Maurissa Pey.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
And welcome. You're tuned to take my advice, I'm not
using it. Get balance with Doctor Marissa. That's the morning
show here on KCAA, NBC News, CNBC News, NBC Sports
Radio station AMM FIFTYM one or six point five, home
to the Asian Oprah and number one talking the ie
(00:52):
thank you in this time slot and I am grateful
and happy.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
That you're here.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Today is day mon mental health matters, mondays, and let's
start the way we always do here at the balancing
out of bad news with good news. I don't talk
about the headlines. I don't talk about politics, religion. Why
(01:23):
Because I want to start every day off on the
most positive foot instead of the negative. If it bleeds,
it leads, And that's why we do that. And breakfast
consists of taking a bite of my gratitude sandwich. If
you're tuning in right now and you can't see me,
that's because you're not on my YouTube TV channel, which
(01:43):
is live every weekday morning. If you're free subscribing, give
me the finger, this one, not the other one. Misus
the thumbs up. You will be able to watch and listen.
If you are driving right now listening on the CACAA side,
please do not chat with me, because I want you
to focus on the road. But when you do get someplace,
go to my show Central and you'll be able to
(02:06):
interact with me every weekday morning. And then it also
goes to iHeartRadio, Spotify, Stitcher, Sorry no more Stitcher, iHeartRadio, Spotify,
it Ties, tune in, Audible, Amazon Music, Tiki Live, Rubbo podchaster,
and streaker speaker. So I am, it's gonna take a
(02:28):
breath right now in through the nose, am released through
the mouth, O the stories and the drama. Instead, We're
gonna start this day. I don't care how you woke
up and how frazzled you are right now, you can
start your day over right now with me and just
take that deep breath in.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I am grateful for This is the top of the button.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Of the gratitude sandwich, the fact that I, thanks to
hashtag COVID silver Lighting, I'm able to broadcast out of
my loving room in Long Beach, California, on the beach,
and it's much easier to do that than to sit
in traffic for an hour. I think it's one of
(03:13):
the best things that happen with COVID is the understanding
and the realization we can't do everything without face to face,
but we can do a lot more than we thought
we could in an easier way. I am grateful that
I have this amazing cup of coffee every single morning
(03:33):
that is so tasty and so wonderful. I can be
one with my coffee. I am grateful that even though
I'm not on tour flying, I would have been in
Hawaii this month. I am grateful that I still get
(03:59):
to do fun things. And I will be this Saturday
doing a book signing a reading first time in a
jewelry store Jay and L Jewelry in the traffic circle
right next to Marshalls in Long Beach, California. So that's
(04:21):
from twelve to four, and the fabulous people at J
and L are going to treat you a champagne as
well as twenty.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Five percent off all jewelry. And also I'll be.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Giving Audiobook's twenty dollars value with every signed book, which
you all know. This little Pappilla wet number one on
Amazon and national bestseller, and best of all, it's helping
a lot of people who are knowing that they're not
(05:00):
as happy as they could be. So eight ways to
happiness from wherever you are. So if you're anywhere driving
distance from Long Beach, California, I expect to see you
on Saturday. I'll move on microphone. We'll do some shout
outs and things like that. So that is I'm grateful for.
(05:21):
What else am I grateful for? I'm grateful for really
good series that I get to watch with really good friends,
which is kind of fun. We connect remotely, start the
series what at the same time, and then text each
other with comments like, oh my goodness, that outfit on
(05:41):
gilded A guilded is a gilded age, it's gilded something.
I just call it guilded. But man, if you want
to see some beautiful outfits, I'm a fashionista and we
have a lot of fun doing that. So I'm grateful
for my girlfriend and Marie, who I get to do
that with and it's a lot of fun. I am
(06:01):
grateful for my two beautiful inside and out daughters, Chloe
May Sarah Away. It's Chloe's birthday this Friday the thirteenth,
or Saturday. It's Saturday the thirteenth, but yeah, Friday the thirteenth.
Sometimes her birthday falls on, So since I'll be having
guests the rest of the week, we'll do the birthday now.
(06:24):
Uh day, the best speak girl in the whole wide world.
Chloe May A happy to who you, so proud of
who you are, of what you have accomplished, of what
you are still to be. And I love you with
(06:47):
all of my heart. And there it is. And May,
by the way, if those of you who thought I
was Swedish, I'm actually trying to spake is a a
Chinese word that means beautiful, which my beloved father, doctor
David Pay, who passed from lyunphoma, but he got to
name her before he passed. With the middle all right,
(07:11):
I am grateful, finally, not finally, I am grateful that
the planets did not crash into each other last night
and we have another beautiful day in the neighborhood to
live love, laugh, learn, create, delight in, innovate and have
(07:33):
fabulous relationships with each other on the planet as we
move through and grew through this thing called life. And
that's the top of the Bible. What are you grateful for?
I don't see anybody see eyeballs in the studio. You
must be driving, which is fine. Don't put your gratitudes
in the comment section. But whenever you watch this an
(07:53):
hour later, please do play along with me. It's a
good life habit to start your day with gratitude. And
then bottom of the bunt. This is doctor Wayne Dyers
at the gratitudes five at the top of the day.
And I'm an overachiever, so I say eight, and it's
a homophone for good fortune, and it's why you see
(08:20):
a lot of eight in the Chinese culture. So I
do eight. And then the bottom of the bun, I
do to model for you something to do before you
go to bed tonight. So top of the bun, you
are grateful for things that are outside of yourself. Bottom
of the bun, you are grateful for things inside of yourself.
(08:40):
So what do you like about yourself? And the reason
why I ask people to do this, either in happiness
coaching or any platform my mind, I as a motivational speaker,
even in stand up and also on this platform for
the show, which by the way, is every Monday, I
(09:01):
mark the consecutive week, and it is consecutive week number
six hundred and ninety seven that I have been doing this.
But who's counting? And they said my show would not
last over a year because I don't talk about the headlines.
And yeah, thirteen plus years later, I think we're at
(09:23):
thirteen and a half. Now I'm still here, and I'm
really grateful that there is an audience. I just pulled
it up, but I didn't have time to look. Let's
see if it comes up quickly. Yes, four million and
twenty seven thousand, eight hundred and forty five impressions later
on my YouTube TV channel. Yes, still here and still
(09:46):
encouraging and cajoling people into eighty eight percent happiness. That's
my mission, eighty eight million more happy people in the
next eight years.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
So the bottom of the bun is what do you
like about yourself?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
You really can't have a happy life if you are
your own worst enemy, if your own worst critic, if
you're harder on yourself than anybody else, that that is
a sure surefire away to be unhappy, because no matter
(10:22):
what you do, no matter what you succeed, you're not
going to be happy if you are harder on yourself,
if you keep shoulding yourself. I shouldn't have said this,
I should have done that. So before you go to
bed tonight, what I'd like you to do is, instead
of thinking about those things, is to highlight what you
do like about yourself. And I know your parents, well
(10:45):
meaning parents, sometimes more mean than well said, don't toot
your own horn, and who do you think you are?
Speaker 3 (10:53):
And certainly there's balance and humility, but we've created this
situation where a lot of people are looking for love
and likes in all the wrong places.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
If you're on social media, you measure your worth and
your value by how many likes you have, literally and
that is again a not very solid way to live
your life so that you're happy eighty eight percent of
the time. So I want you to know what you're
good at, what you like about yourself, what qualities do
(11:27):
you have that you actually appreciate, and that it's a discipline,
as my big brother Michael Bernard Beckwick will say, it's
something that you have to practice. So if you have
trouble with this, keep practicing. I'm here every morning to
help you do it. I also want you to think
(11:48):
about the last time you've got a compliment. That's a
good place to start, even if you didn't believe it.
If someone said to you, oh, you're so caring, right,
and you don't think you're caring, well, you should see.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Me when I'm you know, at home or wherever it is.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Someone thinks you're caring. So at some level you are caring.
So embrace it and say I am caring. And that's
what I will say. I am caring.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Not all the time, but at least eighty eight.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Percent of the time. I am caring bringing you this
for six hundred and ninety seven consecutive weeks, even when
I didn't feel like it is based from care. I
think I am. I'm grateful, sorry, I appreciate that I
am funny. I have been doing stand up now for
(12:42):
a couple of months shy of a year, and I'm
getting great feedback from the community that I am actually funny,
even though my wesband formerly known as Nickmod didn't think so.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
But I am owning my funny and I appreciate that I.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Am verbose, sometimes a little too verbose, but I that's
my job. And I appreciate that I don't follow the
bonds or bondage of my culture that says Asian women
(13:21):
should be quiet, should be homemakers, lord knows should be.
I do cook well, though, Let's just you know, just
in case any of the guys from my apps are listening.
I know I had.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
I had a match that I was actually excited about.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
And then, to be funny, I said, you know when
when whenever someone says like, well, I always wanted to data
Asian woman, I will immediately respond with I'm not cooking
for you, I'm not cleaning for you.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
And the only I'm going to walk on your back
is with high heels on it.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
And it's it's been a joke of running joke, and
he was actually looking for someone a little more Asian,
should I say in the stereotypical way, So yeah, I
although the principle is still there, I should probably not should,
(14:20):
but it would be useful if I balanced it out
by saying that was a joke and I actually am
a really good cook. However, I do make a lot
of reservations However, it is a lot of fun to
meet someone that you can cook with and balance my
whole dating entree approach. I love to talk about that
(14:42):
on Straight Talk on Friday. But one last thing that
I like about myself is that I like my smile.
I like it feels good to smile. It usually has
the effect of making other people feel more at ease,
and so I do.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
I do like my spile, and I appreciate my spile.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
And yeah, especially when I'm on my own in the studio,
all the guys at Casey Aay just have a running
joke around. She doesn't need a guest, and I actually
started Mental Health Matters Mondays so that I didn't have
to have a guest. But it's also mind name Mondy
(15:26):
or rainy days.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
And Mondays always.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Get me up. Hashtag upe, hashtag unlimited possibilities. The real
reason I started Mental Health Matters.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Mondays is because.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
So many people now, thanks to my honorable moniker Oprah,
do attend and pay attention and nor have normalized the
whole discussion around mental health awareness. The stigma is way not.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
A stigma as much as it was maybe ten years ago,
certainly twenty years ago, even China is.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Talking about the importance of mental health, and that's something
that you know when I was there in two thousand
and nine and I was brought in to talk about
mental health. And a disclaimer, I am not a PhD
in clinical psychology. I'm a PhD in organizational psychology, so
I'm not a license by choice clinical psychologist, but I
(16:35):
am an organizational psychologist, which deals with the intersection of
business and human dynamics, so power, politics, leadership, or lack
thereof stress at work, joy at work, meaning at work.
So it does.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Encompass mental health individually and as a.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Culture in the operation. But I do do happiness coaching
because I do know that it is of tant amount
importance that you are in touch with what is it
about you? What are your BS belief systems that keep
(17:19):
you in the lower half of your emotional spectrum, So anger, sadness, sadness,
on steroids, depression, all of those lower emotions that keep
you unhappy versus the piece, satisfaction, wonder, the light, exhilaration, excitement,
(17:45):
those emotions are so important to life. Happiness certainly is
one of those. I use happiness as an umbrella for
those above sea level emotions and we now talk about it, right.
(18:06):
Simone Biles did great things for the normalization of talking
about that. The tennis player that I'm going to forget
her name also did that really well. I mean so
many now professionals. Caleb the swimmer, I love him probably
(18:26):
the most because he is a guy and he won
gold medals, and yet the next Olympics he talked about
the beatings he would get from himself. So it is
important to look at mental health. However, a lot of
people run straight to a numbing thing, whether it's a person, place,
(18:55):
or a thing, to numb themselves so they don't have
to feel that sadness or overwhelming sense of fear, anxiety,
all of that and numbing, whether it's by medication, or
it's by shopping, or it's by gambling, or it's by
(19:16):
a relationship. Whatever it is that you're using to not
deal with your own mental health is only masking or
pushing down something that you gotta deal with. And certainly
there is room, of course for medication, there's room for.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
A psychologists or a psychiatrist.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
But and it's my BS my belief system, that there's
a little space between recognizing that you're not in the
best mental health and then rushing to something outside of yourself.
(20:04):
So that little gap is why I started Mental Health
Matters My things. There are things that you can do
that you have more power than you think you do
to help yourself get a little bit further in your
(20:26):
own happiness without going to a program necessarily or someone else,
or a drug that has not side effects but main effects.
And so when I hear that you not only have
to take this drug, but if it doesn't work really well,
(20:47):
you take this drug to make this drug work. And
then they list all of those side effects that make
my skin crawl because the side effects are kind of
worse than the actual feelings of sadness that you be
going through. I get a little concerned. So that's why
we do this series, and that's why we look at
things that are naturally bringing you down, bringing you more
(21:12):
unhappiness than happiness, and see if we can't come up
with some solutions or at least some things to try
before we go to that next level of help. So
this is Mental Health Matters mondays, where you get to
exercise your own ability through your most powerful tool, which
(21:37):
is called choice. It's a check word, not a c
word those free the commitment. It's a check word, but
it is honestly because I focus on personal mastery as
an important foundation for a happy life. It is one
of the things that really we don't talk about, or
(21:59):
we don't deal with, or we don't take responsibility for.
And so you'll hear a little bit of tough love
for me today because I am your I'm paid for.
Although if you want to give some funds to my
nonprofit eight Ways to Happiness, go to my website, Doctor
(22:21):
Murscott Life for asianoprah dot Online. Then certainly I love
money because money helps the platform expand and this message expand.
So I am grateful to all those who continue to
come up and thank me for the work that I'm doing.
(22:41):
And at the same time, if you have some funds
you want to a good donation base to help this
work continued, please do. But where was I? Okay? Mental
health Monday Matters and today's topic is said everything is awesome.
(23:07):
Double D. That's a double D, not a brass eyes,
but double D desire and disappointment. Desire and disappointment. And
the reason why I wanted to touch this topic and
I don't think I've ever done it before. Is because
(23:28):
I meet a lot of people in my coaching practice
whose unhappiness comes from disappointment.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
They wanted to be whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
It is fill in the blank. They wanted to be
a mom and they can't have children. They wanted to
be the rocket scientist and they couldn't pass the engineering course.
They wanted to be a pro player or a pro
musician and it's not coming. They want to be an
actor and actresses is not coming. In a lot of rechaar.
So that whole disappointment word D, which is tied to
(24:07):
your initial desire another D, is the source of a
lot of unhappiness. So that's how we're talking about. Okay, okay, doki.
All right? So I started first half always talking about
the reality. Putting the moose on the table. This is
(24:32):
my Canadian version of talking about the elephant in the room.
So there's my moose. We're gonna put it on the table.
Are you disappointed? What are you disappointed about? In life?
Do you have disappointments? Feel free to put them in
the chat. I will say I I'll start out about
(24:52):
my own life. I'm super disappointed that my body likes
to make blood clots, made the first one in nineteen
nin six, and the piece broke GoF went into my lung,
so I had a pulinary embalism. I had one DVT
deep bank thrombosis started behind my left knee, broke off.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Traveled everywhere, and I'm disappointed that.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
It has done it again. And two days before I
got on a plane to go on world tour six
months in different countries, at a different country every month,
they found two more plots, and one behind my knee
and one sorry yeah, one from the middle of my
(25:36):
calf to the back of my knee and the second
one from the top of my knee to microin. And
I'm disappointed. I had plans. I had so many fun things. Africa, Canada.
I did to Canada, but that was because my mom
(25:57):
passed and for the funeral. But I had worked there,
I Shanghai, Taiwan, Ireland, Hawaii. So all of those.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Gone, all of the work and talking and book signing and.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
All of that gone.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
And I'm disappointed, definitely disappointed.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
My desire was to go back on tour with the
book and continue, you know, Happy eighty eight mission, eighty
eight million more happy people in the next eight years.
And that did not happen. It is not happening. I've
been branded for a year. I am disappointed. What are
you disappointed? Oh, you thought this relationship was gonna work.
(26:44):
I thought this date was going to happen. On my
way to Santiago and I got a message, met someone
last night. There was a huge there was a spark,
and so canceled the day. Disappointed. He was a lawyer.
You know, I'm very attracted to professional only because I
(27:09):
want to do something different than the divorce. Let's just
put it that way. I'm disappointed that I'm not gonna
be able to spend my daughter's birthday with her, even
though you know they're at that age where mom coming
along is not necessarily a good thing. But yeah, I'm
(27:32):
disappointed about that. I'm disappointed that why I'm not going
to spend Christmas with my favorite aunt who lives in Taiwan.
I'm disappointed that I'm gonna put myself in a bad
mood if I keep going. But this is the reality.
(27:53):
In the first half of the show. What is the
thing that you're disappointed about it? I don't see any
comments yet. I'm disappointed that the the guy didn't turn out,
or the girl didn't turn out, or your partner didn't
turn out to be the everlasting love that you wanted.
You're disappointed you didn't get that raise. You're disappointed that
you didn't get that promotion. You're disappointed that you didn't
(28:17):
get to see your loved one before they passed. You're
disappointed that all of the dreams and desires that you
had to become famous are not coming true. So disappointment
is a huge downer on happiness. Disappointment, I think will
(28:44):
bring you down, especially if you don't acknowledge the disappointment
that my dad used to say, hope for the best,
but prepare for the worst, or hope for the best,
but the reality of these going to be a disappointment.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
And that's how he lived his life.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
And so I was raised to be anchored by, you know,
waiting for the other shoe to draw, and that impending
or real disappointment definitely will erase or dampen or bring
down any level of happiness that you might have. Now.
(29:31):
I am not saying that you should pretend that you
are not disappointed. That's probably one of the worst things
that you could do. Is and those of you who
are tuned in from Agabe. You know, spiritual bypass is
(29:51):
definitely not a good way to go to pretend that
you're not human, to pretend that you don't have some
human reactions and emotions that are important to feel because
you're alive. That's not a solution. So kind of like
(30:13):
put pasting a smile on your face, or as Abraham
Hicks will say one of my other teachers, I love it.
You know, you see your your you don't put a
happy face sticker on your gas gauge, so you don't
see that when you have normal for gas, like that's silly.
That's the same thing is to pretend that you're not disappointed.
(30:33):
And the commercial that I'll give for this before we
go on break is emotions are on a spectrum, and
there are higher feeling emotions like exhilaration.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
And excitement and let's see, is it Friday?
Speaker 2 (30:52):
It's not Friday's Monday, but you know the big old
for hitting that g spot that that's a high emotion,
and then the lower level emotions sadness, sadness on steroids, deppression, anger, resentment,
and the all of those are lower and in an
(31:12):
effort not to feel bad, I will.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
Say that those are usually seen as feeling bad about
yourself or about someone else.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
When you cut off the bat and come up here
and say no, I'm gonna feel any of this, what
happens is this also comes down. So emotions don't work
like a normal door open and closed. You have emotions
or not emotions. You are like this. If you like
(31:44):
a dumb waiter. I'm surprised waiters haven't said I don't
like that expression or the description of a door. That's
a dumb waiter. But in the old days, certainly in
the I will say the twenties, they would send food
and close thing up and down elevators in a dumbwaiter,
and the dumbwaiter closes like this. So it's the best
(32:06):
way I know of encouraging you to feel those lower
emotions safely. You don't spew at people or act on anger,
but you express your anger safely, like stomping in the stairwell.
If you hear that in any company, you know I've
(32:27):
worked there and consulted with them as a corporate psychologist,
because that's one of the ways to release negative energy
is you literally stop near my feet on the ground.
You can put that person's face on the step if
you'd like.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
That's for extreme cases of anger.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
So you know that I used to say screaming, but
when you're screaming, you heard your voice, and my voice
is my livelihood. So silent screams are good. My daughters
and I created this where you just and you don't scream,
but your face is contorted like a scream, biting your
(33:10):
pillow always in which to release the excess volume called
negative energy. And it is important to do this because
negative energy takes that more space to positive energy in
your body. So expressing your disappointment, have an appointment to
(33:31):
express your disappointment safely with yourself or with a VNT partner.
And I'm getting ahead of myself. I have to take
a quick break for news weather traffic on my NBC
news radio channel KZAA, the station that leaves no listener behind.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
So don't go away, we'll be right back. Remind me
to talk about VENT.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Partner as a happy eighty eight tool to help you
stay happy eighty eight percent of the time with even
with disappointment.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
So don't go away, We'll be right back in two
and two.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
In trouble, or used to say, but I say things
don't go away, We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Well. She has been dubbed the Asian Oprah and she
just wants all of us to be happy.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Doctor Marissa aka the Asian Oprah says, the most important
thing you can choose is choosing to be happy.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show called.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Take My Advice. I'm not using it. Get Balanced with
Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
That's the idea for it. Doctor Marissa Pay's new book
call Eight Ways to Be Happy. Many of us say
I am my own worst critic.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Nobody's harder on me than I am. And my response
to that is stop it.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Why are you doing that to yourself?
Speaker 6 (35:26):
You have to be your biggest fan, because if you can't,
at the end of the day say I did a
good job, who is We don't have to constantly be
angry at the things that are wrong. Why don't we
choose to be.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Happy about things that are right. We have the choice.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
That's our muscle, and life is so amazing if we
can see it.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Take back your life with Doctor Mauricia.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Pey and we're back. You're going to take my advice.
I'm not using a kit. Balance with Doctor Marissa Good
Morning Show. You're on KCAA NBC News c NBC News
and NBC Sports radio station home to the Asian Oprah
and number one talk in the Ie. Thank you very much,
(36:30):
and streaming everywhere. iHeartRadio, Spotify and of course by YouTube
TV channel where you can watch and listen. Thanks to
the cameras in the studio. And yeah, free subscribe. Give
me the finger this one thumbs up, not the other one,
and you'll give an alert every weekday morning for this
show about hope and happiness. No gossip, no scandal, no kwords,
(36:53):
no Kardashian talk, no politics, no t talk, no anything
that is. If it bleeds, it leads, it's not going
to be here. You have plenty of places, actually everywhere
else to tune into the headlines. I take the last
real good story that usually is in the news hour
(37:13):
at stretch it out into an entire hour. For the
past six hundred and ninety seven consecutive weeks, that's thirteen
and a half years for those of you are math
challenge like myself. But yeah, so I'm so glad you're here.
It is Monday, Monday, mental health matters Mondays. And before
(37:39):
I forget to tell you. This is the Asian Oprah
giveaway today. It is an audiobook copy of my number
one best selling national bestseller Eight Ways to Happiness from
wherever you are and you can get a signed copy
actually from me this Saturday at jams and L Jewelry
(38:02):
in on Beach, California in person, since my international tour
has been canceled, but I am locally accessible now for you,
So if you're anywhere in the area, please come twelve
to four free champagne twenty five percent off all jewelry
and shout out to j and L Jewelry four hosting
(38:24):
my local Yo goal book signing and I'll do readings
at one and two, So twelve to four this Saturday.
But if you want a free audiobook copy, if you're
from anywhere else in the world, just go to Asianoprah
dot online and you will get access to my Happy
(38:47):
eighty eight tribe. If you put in your email, you
will be able to get the promo code today for
the audio book copy that is in my shop. Uh
so this is let's see if I go back and
(39:14):
so see that little email that comes up as soon
as you put in Yeah, then this is uh, this
is where I live online and you can find out
all of the things that I am available for you
for and uh yeah, if you go to the shop. Actually,
if you go, this is kind of cool. Some people
(39:36):
someone told me, Oh, I didn't even know. These are
some people you may recognize, Jimmy Kimmel, Halle Berry, Stevie Wonder,
John Travolta, so Beautiful, Don Wells, Layla Ali, my Fabulous
Champaincy Jones. All of that you can find on my
(39:57):
website Agent oprah dot Online. And then most importantly for you,
if you want to take me home with you, there's
various there's coaching, affordable coaching, Happiness coaching, the book as well,
the DVD for my moving meditation, Balance, Tai Chi Go,
(40:21):
my children's book. Some of these are free with donation
to my nonprofit, Eight Ways to Happiness. There's music there
and that's kind of cool. That's happening soon. I'm going
back into music and I'm excited about that.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
So that is Asian Over giveaway for today is the
audio book of Eight Ways to Happiness.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So what were we talking about? Disappointment and tools with
which to process through disappointment in a healthy way without
hurting anybody, including yourself, by burying disappointment, because when you
bury disappointment inside your body, it will affect not just
(41:10):
your mental health, but your physical health as well. It's
a one correlation with stress in your body and chronic illness, inflammation,
heart disease, you name it. It is now not just
a supposition or a theory. Mayo Clinic, Harvard Medical. They
(41:34):
are all doing studies on stress and the impact on
your health. And certainly chronic disappointment or unprocessed disappointment is
going to affect you your mental health and your physical health.
So that's why the things you can do on your
(41:54):
own stomping, releasing, fighting.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Hellose, I took a plastic.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
Back to vinyl pouch when I had to release some
really really deep, deep deep disappointments about having a normal
childhood or having a loving mom. I can I can
bring myself back to that day and then feeling of
freedom after releasing that core amount of resentment and anger
(42:27):
and hostility that I had and extreme disappointment was palpable.
So I want that for you, those deep, deep, deep
ones you may want to do with somebody the surface disappointment,
like I really wanted to go to that party like,
that's a surface disappointment. I really wanted it to be
(42:49):
sunny this weekend. Surface disappointment. They're called quality problems. Doesn't
mean you're not disappointed, but those you're you can go
back and you can use. A vent partner. Event partner
is someone that you trust, that can close mouth friend,
who you get two minutes to vent. Now, that's what.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Event partner is. I have a vent partner.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
I have several event partners depending on what I'm venting
on who I can call and just say, don't need
a solution, just need to vent, all right. That person's
job is to remain non suggestion oriented. They are not
(43:36):
an advice giver. They are just away with which they're
just a sounding board with no sound really except to
say I'm so sorry or oh I wish that hadn't happened,
and that's all they say. Okay, no, Well if you
(43:59):
think it's it's that bad, if you think that's bad,
let me tell you what happened to me. That is
not a vent partner. That is a one up partner.
We don't want that. It's going to make you more
piss off in this you're going to be even more
disappointed in that front. So you choose your bed partner
wisely and you say, do you want to do this
(44:21):
with me? It requires two minutes of your time. You
put them on a timer. That's what the vent partner does.
You have on your phone or whatever, a two minute set.
You hit start, and you let them say whatever they
need to say, bad words. You have to make it
an agreement. Are you okay with bad words? I would
(44:41):
suggest finding someone because there's a lot more release when
you use a bad word. I'm not advocating bad words,
especially not on this station with FCC violations, but sometimes
it's a very you know, the F word will get
that negativity out. Now. I'm not saying that you should
go all the time, but sometimes a few well placed
(45:05):
words will allow.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
You to release that disappointment in a strong way.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
So you don't have to spend as long. You can
cut it short. It may not even be two minutes.
I've cut mine down to sixteen seconds because I'm a
believer in the law of attraction and I want I
don't want another negative thought to enter into me after
sixteen seconds, so mine's less. Butt's start with two minutes.
If you're a complainer, if you're a worry wart, if
(45:31):
you know yourself and you have a habit of complaining
about your disappointments, I'm gonna ask you to do a
VENT partner and begin to take your disappointment complaining about
them to two minutes, all right, and then that person
(45:52):
gets to come back and do their two minutes when
they need to. May not be right then, however, does
not follow singular rollover rules.
Speaker 3 (46:04):
You cannot use four minutes the following day.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
You have to do the two minutes that day or
you lose it. And if you lose it, that's fine.
If you don't have anything to vent about, don't vent. However,
most of us, if we don't vent, or we think
we're like we're above all that, or as George.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
Costanz's father did on Seinfeld that episode.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Where Serenity now, Serenity now, and every time he was
disappointment he would cover it up with serenity now, until
it bubbled up to the extent that he ruined a million.
He took it back to a million dollars of computer equipment.
So we don't want that. So if you have a
(46:51):
VENT partner once a day that you can just express
your disappointment, it will go away. Because how do you
get things to go away? This is a good question.
If you keep talking about the same thing that thisses
you off, it will not go away. That's the law
(47:12):
of attraction. What you focus on will grow bigger and
it just that's why I'm known to say, if you
don't like what you're.
Speaker 3 (47:20):
Looking at, quit looking at it.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
If you're not liking what happened, quit talking about it.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
But this is things that we can control.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
This is personal mastery. We're the boss of our mouth
or the boss of our choices of where we're focusing.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
And yet we think there's.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Something wrong with us when we keep thinking the same
thing over and over.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Well, heck, hello, hello, you think you're doing that to yourself?
Speaker 2 (47:51):
You continue to bring negativity into your life by continuing
the habit of focusing on it. That's why we start
with the gratitude sandwich. Ah, That's why we don't start
with talking about the news. That's all the news is
is old complaining about how bad people are and the
(48:15):
bad things they do, and the horrible things and tragedies
that happen to everybody. Again, bad things happen. That's part
of life. The thing that bad thing. Why do bad
things happen to good people? Have nothing to do whether
you're good or bad. Bad things just happen, but great
things happen too. There are more good things happening around
(48:35):
you than bad things. But because you have a habit
of focusing on the bad things, gus what you're gonna
see more bad things. And the good news is the
reverse is drue. The more you focus on good things,
the more good things you'll see. My life is a
(48:56):
reflection of this particular blissophline of this good life habit.
I am so adamant that I want to feel good
that every time I don't feel good, I don't know
spiritual bypass, I say, why am I not feeling good? Well,
one hundred percent of the time I'm thinking about something
(49:18):
that doesn't make me feel good. Of like the world tour,
I can't go on. And that's my choice to think
or keep talking about it. I talk about it on
the show, not to keep bringing it up, but as
to give you an example that my life is definitely
not perfect. And I'm you know, I have beautiful things,
(49:40):
but I have shataki that happens too. But I will
tell you about it. And then I choose to focus,
because I've already done my venting, thank you for the heart.
I choose to focus on the good that is happening
in my life, and so much good happening in my life.
(50:02):
And guess what, folks, there's so much good stuff happening
in your life too. Oh but doctor Presla, you don't
know what I'm going through. I probably have a good idea.
It's either something to do with not enough money, or
something to do with not enough love, or something to
do with who done me wrong, or something to do
(50:23):
with who disappointed me, or something to do with my health,
or something to do with my relationship.
Speaker 3 (50:30):
Yeah, I probably got.
Speaker 2 (50:32):
You in that. I got at least eighty eight percent
of y'all when you do that. And guess what, folks,
that's not your life. That's not the totality of your life.
Your physical diagnosis is not who you are. You have
symptoms of depression, you are not a depressed person, full stop.
Speaker 3 (50:58):
That is your identity.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
You're lonely.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
You have feelings of loneliness.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
That will pass if you quit reveling in your loneliness. Well,
they don't love me, Well, don't go to the tractor
for milk. They're not capable of loving you, But there
are people that are capable of loving you, so turn
(51:29):
to them.
Speaker 3 (51:31):
Or maybe you need to work on yourself. Are am
I lovable?
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Like? I want this, this and a guy? Right? I
have to ask myself first, Am I this and this? Myself?
I want a generous guy? Am I generous? Right?
Speaker 3 (51:46):
I want a funny guy?
Speaker 2 (51:47):
Am I funny? I want a successful guy? Am I successful?
So this is also a self improvement exercise. Right? Are
you disappointed in something you cannot control? This is a
big one people, okay, the war against drugs, the war
against obesity, the war against starvation, the war against sexual predators,
(52:13):
the war against If you're pushing and fighting against something
that you don't like, you're continuing to give that movement energy.
Speaker 3 (52:22):
Right. When people talk about I hate.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
The you know, the politics, whatever it is, whichever side
you're on, you are giving the other side some energy.
So if you want them to be less powerful, quit
being angry and ranting about them that energy.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
But doctor Brissa, I have to do something.
Speaker 2 (52:49):
I can't just put my head in the sand. I
never said put your head in the sand, although sometimes
that is preferable. You know, when things are that crazy
around you, you might want to go have a moment
with yourself. Put your head in the sand, not toilet bowl,
put your head in your own imaginary sand, and breathe
in through the nose. And remember, right.
Speaker 3 (53:12):
You have money in your wallet, that's your food in
the fridge, that you have a roof.
Speaker 2 (53:16):
Over your head, that you you have a car you
can go anywhere, that you have the money for gas,
that you have memories. Go to your phone.
Speaker 3 (53:25):
I always that's one of my happy eighty eight tools, right,
turn on a dime of memories.
Speaker 2 (53:30):
Anytime I'm thinking about the tour and how much I'm losing,
I go to my phone and I find some really
great videos of experiences that I've had that make me smile,
make me laugh. That is who I am. I am
the sum total of all good things that have happened,
some bad things, but some good mostly good things, and
(53:53):
even the bad things chiseled me into the person I
am now.
Speaker 3 (53:58):
So even the bad things, we're not bad.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
Hello, So focus, right, So work with the disappointment individually. First.
If that doesn't do it, go to vent partner. Okay,
which is gonna do it? Because the rule I'm venting
is you cannot talk about that again. Let me say
(54:26):
that again. When you have a vent partner and you
spend two minutes ranting about something, you cannot talk about
it again. You only can talk about it again if
something new happens. And that, my friends, is a habit.
If you can do this personal mastery, habit of only
expressing your disappointment once for two minutes and never again,
(54:49):
when you don't think about it.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
It will slide away.
Speaker 2 (54:53):
You may get some trigger in the future, but it's
not like constantly talking about it, complaining about it and
how disappointed you are two words.
Speaker 3 (55:06):
Just stop it.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Now, let's talk about desire. In the last two minutes.
I want to talk about desire more. Mhm. The reason
why I wanted to lead out on desire is because
desire is not a bad word, thanks to the Church
(55:30):
and religion. Humans definition of you know, money's evil, desire
and sex and uh uh it's uh you know, uh, exhilaration,
the old word g spot whatever it is. All of
(55:50):
that is evil. That is not true. That's a bs
a belief system that will keep you in a mediocre life.
And I don't want anybody to have a mediocre life.
Life is about fully expressing and feeling what it is
to be human and all of its wonder and brand.
You're also knowing your spiritual being having a human experience.
But while you're on this earth, on this planet as
(56:13):
a human being, Lord knows, let's just feel good most
of the time. Let's be happy eighty eight percent of
the time. And desire is a beautiful way to set
an intention for something. And when you have an experience
(56:35):
of something you don't want.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
Abraham Hicks, that's a desire rocket.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
I'll never forget the first time I heard them at
a revelation conference that we were putting on at a
Gothic and when she said that, when Esther said, whenever
you know what you don't want, disappointment, you know what
you do want desire. So when you meet someone that's
(57:02):
mean to you, you set off a rocket of desire
to want to have people around you that are nice
to you. That's normal.
Speaker 3 (57:12):
What we do to shoot ourselves in the foot is
we continue to look at the person who is mean
and complain and try to change them into a person
that will be nice to you. And it's not possible.
Speaker 2 (57:24):
You don't have the control, and they're you know, you
probably attracted them because you didn't work through some of
the stuff that says I'm only worthy of people who
are not nice to me, and that's on you, Booth.
We can stop attracting people like that by saying I'm
(57:45):
not going to go to the tractor for milk. I
have a desire for nicer people, So I'm going to
turn my attention away from that person's who's being knowing
that I set off the rocket of desire, and then
go on my way not looking necessarily for nice people,
because that energy, too, is a yearning, and it just
(58:09):
highlights the fact that you don't have nice people around you,
but just.
Speaker 3 (58:12):
Go on about your day and look for things to appreciate.
Speaker 2 (58:16):
That's abrahams Okay, I've already set off the desire for
nicer people. Right The universe is conspiring for you, never
against you. Has a plethora of nice people around. Your
only job is to feel good. Your only job is
to say one of am I having the best feeling
(58:36):
that I can right now? Do I feel good right now?
If I don't feel good, let me see what I'm
focused on and shift the focus. I don't have to
worry about my desire. All of my desires are met.
I just have to stay in that best possible place.
And I can't believe I myself. I've run myself out
of time. I hope that you come back tomorrow. Great
(58:58):
doors of change, folks coming tomorrow. In the meantime, it's
all about balance piece and piece out world peace through
inner piece. Hope you have to enjoyed this. Uh, I
want to say lecture this talk the double D Desired Disappointment.
You can always find this on my YouTube TV's channel
(59:19):
free subscriber see tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (59:22):
Now go and have the best date ever.
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