October 14, 2025 • 60 mins
KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa on Tue, 14 Oct, 2025
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, stuff off at exhausting amster wheel and into balance.
Living with Doctor Marissa from Missus. Doctor Marissa, also known
as the Asian Oprah. Her mission to be a beneficial
(00:20):
presence on the planet, her purpose to be your personal advocate,
to live, lap love, learn, her life motto, don't die wondering,
Take back your life with Doctor Maurissa Pey.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And no welcome. You're tuned in to take my advice,
I'm not using it. Get balance with Doctor Marissa, The
Morning Show. You're on casey AA, NBC News c NBC News,
NBC Sports Radio Station a m t N fifty FM
one oh six point five home to the Asian Oprah
(00:56):
Number one talking the Ie, Thank you very much and
streaming everywhere. iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, Tune in, Audible, Amazon Music,
Tiki Live, Rum Bullpodje's a streaker, speaker and more. Why
so many places. I want to maximize my splatter zone
for more hope and happiness. So I balance out the
(01:17):
headlines with some heartlines. We do not talk about the
headlines here, No politics, no religion. Why I want to
start my day off in the most positive way. And
Lord knows if you're gonna listen to the news. If
it bleeds, it leads, And therefore people know for the
past seven hundred and one consecutive weeks that if you're
(01:38):
tired of being piss offedness in the morning, you will
come and join me here for topics guests co hosts,
and today is no exception. We have another fabulous hashtag
Tuesday talent guest who joins me in helping me spread
(01:58):
more positive and she's a you know, she had me
on her hot seat last August. I believe and turn
about is fair play. So I am so excited to
have here someone who is herself a podcast host. Stacey
(02:19):
Swiderski spiders Okay is the founder and CEO of Family
Source Consultants, a global leading surrogacy and egg donation agency
she launched in two thousand and seven that has helped
to bring thousands of miracles into the world. She's also
(02:40):
the author of a purpose Driven success set to be
released this year, which explores mission driven leadership and entrepreneurship.
Most recently, Stacey founded She Decides Collection, a new company
and movement that includes a jewelry line, Essentials, and a
podcast dedicated to uplifting and celebrating successful woman, empowerment and
(03:06):
the power of choosing to be your reason. Please, welcome
to my studio, Staycy, welcome to this show.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm so glad to
be here. Absolutely in the morning.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
And it's it's funny. I loved reading the bio because
you know, I keep it fresh. I don't do pre
interviews on purpose, and I had no clue about the
egg donation. And I now I know why I was
brought on your show. I love being called a powerful
(03:52):
and successful woman. I wasn't quite sure, you know. Shout
out and gratitude to Wan, my pr person, publicist, and
he's the one who said you're going on our show.
So now I know why, and I'm so delighted to
meet you. Top of the show. We do this every
(04:15):
weekday morning we have breakfast with myself and whoever's in
the studio this morning, it is Stacy. We're gonna take
a bite of my gratitude sandwich. So top of the
bun we look outside of ourselves. What are we grateful
for that we can see here, tastes and touch. Bottom
of the bun is what we're going to model for
(04:35):
you that I want you to do tonight before you
go to bed, which is gratitude turn inwards. What do
you like about yourself? So let's get started. Top of
the bun. I am grateful for let's see minute subscriber here.
(04:55):
I love it. Looking forward to our incredible host on
the this week's episode, I have a feeling that's Kara
in the background writing that.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Oh yeah, I'm sure my biggest fan.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
That is so wonderful. I was complimenting you, Kara to
Stacy this morning. But I am grateful for my ability
to have this platform for seven one hundred and one
consecutive fourking weeks on camera on the air, and I'm
grateful for that. Stacy. What are you grateful for?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Goodness, so many things, but I'm you know, I have
to start out with I'm grateful for my health. It
allows me to make up every day and do everything
and tackle, you know, the challenges before me. But next
to help because it's probably a lot of people's grateful,
you know, as sayings with the definitely the outlet that
we have to reach so many people and hopefully better
(05:54):
their lives. And yeah, that's great up there, second to.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
My house, awesome, awesome, I am grateful that the planets
did not crash into each other last night, so that
I have another twenty four hours for sure, Well at
least the next hour. I'll say to UH, live, love, learn, laugh, create, innovate,
(06:18):
and delight in this thing called life. Absolutely one more gratitude.
What would what would?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Who?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Who? Or anyone that you're grateful for?
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Yeah, oh my gosh, so many people.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
But you know, aside from my amazing sport of husband,
I would my my amazing team with both family source.
She decides collection, I just have an amazing team behind
me that really.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Supports and everything that I do, and I couldn't do
without them. I mean, they're so smart. They're much more
smart than I am.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
So you got to surround yourself by those, you know,
those smart people.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
So yeah, it's my people, my people, my circle.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's so great, that's so great. I forgot to say
that I'm grateful for uh motherhood and my daughter. Right now,
my younger one is visiting Strove down from San Francisco.
It's her birthday month, so we're celebrating her birthday and
she brought her fabulous boyfriend who I just adore, and
(07:19):
they I'm grateful that they and my two. You know,
do you have kids, I do.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
I have a mean yeah, four amazing children, yes.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Or wow, adults Yeah, and it's fine. Wow, I thought
I looked young. You are definitely yeah, oil of a
user here. But they went with my two. I have
(07:51):
a lot of kids, their friends. You know, when I
was the house, they would come to and hang out.
You really yeah, yes, So they called me doctor mom.
And last night four of them went and watched me
do stand up.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Oh that is so cool. It is cool, fine, I
mean really cool.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I'm grateful. I had to I had to cut out
about half of my routine. But anyways, I am so great.
That's all I'm gonna say. But I'm so grateful, what
a what a fun time we had, and then you know,
(08:42):
came and played games. I'm just so grateful for the
fullness of my life as a mom. Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
It's you know, you were your own children's friends.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Watching them grow up and then seeing them now as
like adults.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
It's just for what it makes you realize how time flies. Wow.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
But yeah, just to be able to see them really
mature into these you know, adults and doing adult things.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
It's just it's pretty exciting.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, that's that's that's great. All right, let's go to
the bottom of the bun, which is weightlifting for your
own mental health. A lot of us are aware now,
and I will thank my honorable Moniker Oprah, who she
I think I credit her with bringing the whole conversation
(09:36):
about mental health to the mainstream so that it's okay
to talk about it, right, really talked about correct, right.
She balanced out Jerry Springer. If you remember, that was
the mainstream TV and we're still hashtag ageless.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Right, that's.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yes, Yes, I didn't know I shared that with you,
but I'm glad to hear that I do. Yeah. So
it's good on one hand that we are aware of
the importance of mental health. The downside, thank you for
the finger. Somebody just gave us this finger, not the
other one. On that point, and it is it is
(10:25):
unfortunate that a lot of people are are are they go, Okay,
I'm not well. Therefore I am going to seek outside
satisfaction or so sorry, outside soothing, whether it's drugs to
numb it, right, pharmaceutical included, or people, places and things,
(10:51):
or when I say, looking for love and all the
wrong places yeah to me, yeah, or likes like literally
having your intenna up for likes on social media. How
many people like me? Blah blah blah blah. So this
bottom of the bun before you go to bed, instead
of thinking about what I didn't do right or what
I didn't finish, you know, recovering perfectionists that I'm sure
(11:14):
we both are, or thinking about who done me wrong.
I want us to get used to saying nice things
about ourself and really owning that we are eighty eight
percent fabulous. Twelve percent of the time we step in it,
but the majority of ourselves is good. So that's what
(11:35):
the bottom of the bun is. So I'll start. I
appreciate that I am not as hard on myself as
I used to be, so I can cut myself a
break and give myself the bod, which is benefit of
the doubt that I'm doing the best that I can
(11:55):
with the time that I have and the resources I have.
And that was a weight lifting exercise, not a switch.
I had to practice looking for things that I could say,
good job, mama, like I did forty eight minutes on
the bike this morning. Didn't feel like doing it, but
I did it anyways, I can have that. Yeah, I am.
(12:18):
You know, good job, mama. So what do you like
about yourself? Stacy?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
What I really like about myself and I you know,
this is probably a newer self over the last several years,
is my ability to delegate, and that has really lifted
so much.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Weight off of my shoulders.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
I used to think I had to do it all,
you know, and it's draining, and you talk about mental health,
that will definitely, you know, drive you a little nut sell, right,
and you're you're in an eighty five million different directions,
you know. Yesday, I still juggle a lot. But the
things that I know that I don't have to, I've
(13:03):
learned to delegate and that has been one thousand pounds.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Off my shoulders.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
And it has also has shown me, Wow, these people
that I'm delegating to are so smart and had I
not delegated, I would have never noticed that. Right, So
now it's like, wow, this is pretty nice, you know.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
So it's really.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Allowed me to open the doors, work on other things,
start another company, and.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
So yeah, for me, that is a really good power.
Left is delegating.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeah, aw so awesome. I want to give a quick
shout out to Africa who is a very loyal supporter.
Welcome to Drop Baptiste and he comes from Rwanda. One
of my favorite guests on the show was Frederick who
(14:01):
had his arms chopped off by the one in the
Rwanda and genocide by the terrorists and he started rehabilitation
centers in Rwanda. And John Baptiste is one of the
individuals that runs one of the facilities. And it's always
beautiful sear uh and and and it's great to have
(14:24):
you here. He's always you know, yeah, so support you
in raising sports here if possible. So absolutely we're sending you,
you know, blessings and intentions and whatever you know, uh
positive and whatever that leads to him. So absolutely. One
(14:50):
last thing that I like about myself is that I
am beginning to get rid of the voices that I
grew up with with the last I was called fat
and ugly and then as by well meaning mom who
(15:12):
you know, Chinese have this thing called a negative motivation.
In order to make sure you're not fat and ugly,
they'll say you're fat and ugly, and it was a
very strong voice. Yeah, and then I and then you
don't even have to have a mom like that. Kids,
you know, somewhere around seven or eight, they'll pick up
(15:32):
that voice inside that says, you're not as pretty as her,
you're not as skinny as her, and and it's in
I think for women it's a stronger voice than men.
Not all, but it seems to be a.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Well, I think to such.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
A media these days and all the filters and all
the expectations and wanting to you know, be accepted, I
think it's it's a whole world that we're living in that,
you know, we didn't grow up with that.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yes, yes, so I appreciate that. I just a little
bit uh starting to go, Okay, you're not bad, you're
not bad looking. You cannot you know, and actually accept
the compliment and let it go more than just like
(16:21):
bounce off. So you know, it's I used to say,
if I could just see myself as like twenty five
percent as beautiful as the way other people do, and
people go, you're crazy. But honestly, when you had that
kind of conditioning, it's not just easy to go, Okay,
yeah I'm beautiful, you know.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, So it's.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Imp really, it's like, yeah, you have to really learn
to be hind to yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, for sure, for sure. All right, one last one
for me, what do you like from yourself?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
You know this is probably a little generic, but I'm
going to throw.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Out my work ethic.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
I'm very proud of that, and it's something that I
have really honed into my whole life. And you know,
staying on something that you really believe in, something purpose driving,
and you can create something whatever it is you know
that you are good at and something that you love,
(17:30):
and you're consistent with your hard work and your work ethic,
I mean, you're bound to be successful.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
And that really is obviously the whole meeting.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Behind the whole she decides collection and podcasts that we
you know that I brought to fruition the share and
really motivating other like minded and women to.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
To be good to yourself.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yes, that's why I added collection on your lower third
there as you were talking, because it was like, oh, yeah,
there's way more than just a podcast, which I know
and we'll find out more about that in a minute.
But I just want to encourage everyone. You can join
me every weekday morning to take a bite of my
(18:16):
gratitude sandwich start your day in the most positive way.
Twenty one twenty eight or thirty days, you create a
good life habit. I hope you join me in this
good life habit. Thanks for joining both of us for breakfast.
And now for the topic of the day. It says
(18:43):
everything is awesome, and the topic today is Stacy and
the she decides collection and more so, first of all,
did you know when you were a kid, this is
where you would be, what you would were doing, what
(19:04):
you were inspired to do. Did you have any idea?
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Not necessarily new, not necessarily I was I was when
I and I was kid.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
I was kind of all over the place, right, you know.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I grew up in the born in the seventies, grew
up in the eighties. I you know, I was very
much into athletics.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
That was, you know, very athletic and in the sports.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
But definitely in my early twenties, I would say, is
when that entrepreneurial bog really bit me.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
I was. I was mover and a shaker and a talker,
and I knew I just couldn't work like a nine.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
To five, right, There's just so much I wanted to
do and and but yeah, it's I've always been very
curious of other people's you know, businesses, how do their
businesses operate, and the behind the scenes of companies, and
so I'm kind of a nerve when it comes to that.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I love learning business, but yeah, I didn't know until
my early twenties.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Okay, And where did you grow up, because I know
you're hailing from the East Coast, right.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
I'm in last Chicago area.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yes, grew up in the Chicago area suburbs about twenty
five twenty five minutes south.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Of the city. And you have borne Rice here here
in Illinois.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Oh right, yeah, one time I've been there. I got
to sing with Buddy what's his name, the jazz guy
that's in Chicago.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Yeah, yeah, good, yeah, in the city.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yes, yes. And then that kidney bean jelly bean thing.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yeahan in Chicago.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, it's so cool. Yeah, it's weird and cool at
the same time. Yes, it is so early.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Oprah, like with the Asian Oprah. You know, the whole
the whole Woodfrey from the show. Is you know Chicago
based on a lot?
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yes, yes absolutely. And so you grew up your family siblings.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
I had two older brothers, two of them, so I
was the youngest. So that probably tends to be why.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
I was so, you know, very much in the athletics forty.
I was such a tomboy growing up. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
I could throw a football at baseball like like the
Rustling Boys.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I was very much when I was at a long age,
probably three and up.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Yeah, So, you know, we moved around a lot, a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Throughout, but all within you know, Illinois area, closer to
the area. And but it's it's been I've met a
lot of people, you know, back then though we didn't
have that.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
We didn't have Facebook or the social media. It was
you know, handwriting him him penpales.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
So it's really neat to reconnect many years later through
social media.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Yeah yeah, and in the egg donor thing, talk to me,
how did that come about?
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah? Absolutely so. Oh gosh, we won't wake back on
those tools. More than two decades ago.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
When I knew too in order to build my family,
I already had three beautiful children. And when I met
my husband, now we've been together for twenty five years now.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
And how did you meet? Sorry, I love these stories.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Oh my goodness, yeah, you know, we met. It was funny.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
I just have been running into him at the weirdest places.
I had no idea who he was. It would be
at you know, the grocery store, at the harborre store,
at the gym, even in other towns, and I'm like, wow,
he didn't see me, but I saw him a little stocker, right.
So for about ten months, ten months, I kept been
running to him.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Finally I called him. I'm like, I got I got
to find who this guy is.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
You know, this is before, this is back in two thousand,
so like many many years ago.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
And then I found his.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Number because he had owned his company back then, and
I just called the number off the off his sweatshirts.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
He was a contractor and builder contractor. And he answered
and I hung up at him right away. I'm like,
oh my god.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
I called back and I'm like, Hi, are you that
guy in the big red truck And we've been together.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Since so, oh my goodness. That so you liked what
you saw.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
You saw him he was a little honey, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah, uh huh, and you just went for it.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
And I said, you know what, I'm never going to
learn more about those you know, ten months of running
into each other is pretty crazy.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
But the crazy thing is is when I.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Called him that night, I'll never forget because he's not
a super social guy.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
They're on the phone long time. He had no idea who.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Was talking to right, No way, he had no.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Idea because he didn't see me, so clearly if he did,
he wasn't interested. But anyways, he's one year older. But
we have the exact birthdays. Yes, I'm like, what is
your birthday?
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Yes, we have the exact same birthdays Jade or seventeen.
So how cool is that?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
So that's a what pot what are the chances of that?
Right a moment? So that was totally meant to be
right now when he saw you for the first time, Yeah,
what was the dies He didn't, It didn't jar his
like he had never seen you.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
No, he did it because we were always in like
the public, So he would be like checking out of
a store and I'd be like in a whole nother aisle,
or he would be at the gym walking out and
I would be up in the cardio area.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
So like he never saw me and lights didn't meet him.
You know, I I love that line. Do you remember
the showy Ugly? I mean, we're home my bad?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
I went to see that one night with my girlfriends,
and so I was just all driveed up by.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
The way home and I'm like, I've been to drive
by his house.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Oh my goodness, you are taking the garbage.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
Ob. Yeah, I was taking the garbage.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Ob.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
And that's the first time we saw each other. I
remember it was pouring rain that day, so yeah, my
hair was all big.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And that was the first time you saw him, but
you hadn't called him yet.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
No, I didn't call him. We did talk, but I don't.
Yeah I did it.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
And did you put your head out the window and
say I'm your stalker?
Speaker 4 (25:44):
I did?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
And you liked me so far? And was he like smiling?
He obviously was like, oh, thank God, she's gorgeous, right, yeah, right.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
He clear that there was some kind of.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Mutual attraction there than God, so, you know, diving back
into the whole agg donation.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
You know, he didn't have any children.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
You know, this was a remarriage for me, and back
in ninety seven, I had to have a partial hysterectomy.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
So I still had my ovaries remaining.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
But they removed my universe, right, so that at the
time I was just not too like, wildly.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
Concerned because they did it for health. Reasons.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
The most importantly my health was being protected right, right,
and had three children and I wasn't really anticipating honestly
having children, right. Met my husband, my now husband, and
so we had to go through gestational service to have
our son, meaning we had a carrier.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
We used my genetics, my husband's genetics, and so our
son was.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Born and I don't I'm not familiar with her. So
it was through another woman.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Yes, so we had a gestational carrier. Yep, so they
implanted our embryos. They transferred to embryos.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Many years ago.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
And yeah, and he my son, you know, he's our son,
is now twenty. But family really is you know, going
back to starting my first company, Family Source Consultants, which
we'll be celebrating nineteen years coming off in January. So yeah,
it really is the seed that.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Planted the whole idea, right.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
And then after my son was born through gestational surrogacy,
you know, he was born in two thousand and five.
I started the company in two thousand and seven and
I was approached by a really dear friend of mine
and she had neighbors who were they were looking for
an egg donor. And I never really thought about it
(27:54):
too much, you know, And I'm like, you know, I've been.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
Through an aggre treble to have our son through CERC. See,
I know what it's like.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
I wouldn't be happy to give it a whirl, right,
So I ended up as an egg donor for for
this family, so it was more of an open egg
donation twice. And they have a son and a daughter
through my egg donation, so they're now on the teens.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
And but yeah, you know, I've been.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
On both sides of the fence with with family and
I needed help to build my family through a gestational
carrier or the other. I was an indnor for a family,
So full circle, riting, very full circle.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah, and and this I love learning new things, so
this is like a completely I have no clue about
any of this A lot of me.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
It's like if you don't, you don't, but if you do,
it's like.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Wow, okay, yeah going through it. Yeah, like the whole
gestational carrier, I didn't even know what that was as
a term. So so okay, so great. I get to
ask you some questions because you're in this. And first
I'm going to give you doctor Merris's beneficial presence on
the planet a war because I love it when people
(29:11):
take their own difficulties challenges and turn it into an
opportunity to enhance other people's lives. So for that, I
give you my doctor Merris's beneficial presence on the planet awar.
(29:34):
So so love just fell down.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
That's a sign.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yes, it is a sign. It is a sign. And
so I've always wondered, well, first, how prevalent is this,
like how many? I'm sure you know the stat's better
than I do. I don't know any how many women
go through this type of I've heard of I yes,
(30:00):
a lot, Yeah, but this particular area I haven't.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yeah, absolutely, so, I mean you think about it.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Infertility affect so many people, what in six you know,
and I want to say that's even growing.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah, yeah, so you know, and for a variety of reasons.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
It could be unexplained infertility where they just don't know
why they're not able to get pregnant, or they may
be able to become pregnant, but they can't stay pregnant
so they miscarry. Right, so you have the unexplained you know, infertility.
You have a quality issues with some women that you know,
maybe they can carry, but they need an akednor you know,
(30:37):
or maybe they have more of a uterus issue or
no uters like myself and they could utilize their eggs.
You know, you have people who have battled cancer. So
just so many different reasons why somebody may need, you know,
assistance with growing their family.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Yes, it's very very common, very common.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
We've got thousands of babies born through family source consultants
and it's just been incredible to you to be able
to help the families that we do and put their
trusting to us, you know, and the amazing service in
egg donors who step up to the plate to help
(31:17):
these individuals become parents or grow their family.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Right, So that's the next level. So first of all,
I want to just go on record. I have you know,
I'm known for being real and putting the mousa on
the table, which is my version h Canadian version of
talking about the elephant in the room. And I have
heard some well meaning but more mean than well people say, well,
(31:43):
you're just not meant to be parents. If you can't
have a child the natural way, you're just not meant
to be parents, and or you obviously are being punished,
and that is bull Shittaki. It's like the worstable thing
to think or say. So I'm just going to put
that down. And if you're thinking, if someone stupid has
(32:06):
said that to you, you can just say thank you
very much for your opinion, don't need it, and inside
your head you can say if I look like you,
I'd be miserable too. So so I just want to
put that moss on the table. Okay, yes, okay, So
(32:26):
now let's go to you have you know it's been
on TV uh pure stories because news life to sensationalize
the bad side or the downside of surrogacy where you're
whatever that term you used, station where they changed their mind? Right?
(32:53):
Is that really as prevalent as the news makes it
to be?
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Uh that?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Okay, another moose on the table.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
This is the loose on that table.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
One.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
We have had thousands of babies born through surrogacy and
a donation, and we have never, ever, not once ever
had a surrogate feel that that child that she delivered,
that she had any maternal.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Bond towards the child.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
It's really the opposite, where they are just so excited
for the family and the parents that they're helping, they
cannot wait to just see the expression and the joy
in those parents' faces when the babies are born or
the baby is born. Now, yes, do they have a
bond with the parents, maybe with you know, this human
(33:47):
that they've been carrying, right.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
But it's more like someone so you know, it's kind of.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Like a maybe like an aunt or something or a
close friend because they have cared for this, you know
this this baby.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Sure protected the baby, and.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
That's you know, really that's their responsibility and they know that.
But you know, they have children, right, All surrogates have
to have had at least one child to kirie for
another family, so they're already a mom, so they're not
you know, lacking in you know, the whole motherhood. And
to be quite honest, I think you know, at the
(34:21):
end of the day, they're on this.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Journey is what we call it, a service journey for
you know, at least a year and a half.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
They're probably at the point pretty ready to say, here
you go.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
I'm going to go do my thing now, right, you know.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
And and with my family and my children and and
you know, and the families are all part of it,
and that's the whole thing, right right. Right. She's married,
you know, her partner has to be really you know,
they have to be accepting of it. And so they
really formed this bond or this sometimes friendship, you know,
(34:55):
parents not all the time, and sometimes it could be
a mutual respect. But once they it's warmer, but it
goes down their way and they may keep in touch
once or twice a year, and then sometimes it's just
a you know, celebration of a new friendship.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
So each and every journey, if you will, is a
little different, but it's right.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
And America has been created and that's what's right.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Right. Wow, fascinating stuff. We need to take a quick
break for news, weather, traffic, and a word from our sponsor,
don't go away. We'll come back and do and do.
As Chuck Uller used to say, I'm saying peace and
peace out. We'll be right back with Stacy and Moore
about she decides literally podcasts, don't go away, We'll be
(35:37):
right back. Well.
Speaker 6 (35:56):
She has been dubbed the Asian Oprah, and she just
wants all of us to be happy.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Doctor Marissa aka the Asian Oprah says, the most important
thing you can choose is choosing to be happy.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show
called take my advice. I'm not using it.
Speaker 7 (36:21):
Get balanced with Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 6 (36:35):
That's the idea for doctor Marissa Pay's new book call
Eight Ways to Be Happy.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Many of us say, I am my own worst critic.
Nobody's harder on me than I am. And my response
to that is stop it. Why are you doing that
to yourself? You have to be your biggest fan, because
if you can't, at the end of the day say
I did a good job, who is We don't have
(37:01):
to constantly be angry at the things that are wrong.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
Why don't we choose to be happy about.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Things that are right. We have the choice.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
That's our muscle, and life is so amazing if we
can see it.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurica Pey.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
And we're back. You're doing to take my advice, I'm
not using it. Get balance with Doctor Marissa. Good Morning
show here on kazy AA, home to the Asian OPRAH
NBC News Radio number one, talking the I thank you
very much and streaming everywhere iheartradios I and of course
my YouTube TV channel which if you free subscribe and
(38:05):
give me the finger, this one not the other one.
You will get an alert every weekday morning to tune
into the show about open happiness that has now passed
the four million impression mark on the TV channel. So
grateful for that, and I bring you really interesting and
love learning new things. Today is definitely not an exception
(38:28):
we have with us. Stacey, Uh okay, you say its
thank you, the founder and cego of Family Source Consultants,
a global leading surrogacy and egg donation agency. We heard
a lot about that. I have a couple more questions
and then we're going to launch into her collection, which
(38:48):
includes a podcast that she invited me onto. That's how
I got to her to bring you her as my
Tuesday Talent guest today. Welcome back to the studio, Stacy.
Give you a little more love you as you can tell,
(39:10):
I'm a very affirming h on.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Up.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
So one last question for the agency and the surrogacy
you you said, sometimes, uh, you know, it's up to
the family or the individual. Does it ever get like
sticky where the kid wants to know or do the parents?
Is it really would you say better for the kids
(39:43):
to know at what age do they need to know?
Like kind of along the lines of adoption and and
like in my mind, the messaging would be very positive,
which is you know, you're so just like adoption, you're
so wanted that that the you know, we jump through
(40:05):
hoops to get you right deal.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Yes, yes, but to answer your question, yes, absolutely, the
the child born through service the typically always knows that
that there that their parents had utilized a surrogate to
to get them to this world. And that is something too.
It's it's really important as well. Like the matching process
(40:31):
between a tent appearance and a surrogate, it's such a
mutual matching process that.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
We align all of.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Their criteria, you know, really what is their mission, their vision,
you know, with the with the relationship. Just to ensure
that everybody has a really great experience right through the
whole service process, so you know, and an example for
that is, let's say the surrogate wants to crate for
a couple who live within three hours from her, right,
(41:02):
so we want to make sure that those anten of
parents meet her you know, expectations and vice versa. The
antenn of parents may want a surrogate who is you know,
going to share you know, the the entire experience with
the antended parents, welcome them to all the doctor appointments
and things like that.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
So we want to make sure everybody's wishes are well
aligned right somewhere.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Maybe the antenn of parents in the surrogate, they're across
the you know, the United States, I mean ones on.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
The East coast, ones on the West coast, and so
the aten of parents just physically can't be there all
the time. And that's okay too.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
So we really look at so many different outside situations
when we match aten of parents, But ultimately, every everybody
you know, understands that the child is going to know
that as surrogate was you know, utilized, especially in these days.
I mean it's everywhere services everywhere. Look at all the
(41:57):
celebrities you know that just are open so proud of it,
you know, so part of their suria and share their salaries.
Speaker 4 (42:04):
Yeah, you know. On the other hand of that, I think,
you know, the egg donation has been a.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Little more of a trickier piece, right because many women
can carry the child or even if they even if
they utilize the suriot an an a donor, they don't
typically have to announce to the world that they use
an egg donor, right, So that's one that's a little
more I would say, I have a sheltered piece that
I think when the time is right for the for
the parents to share with their child that they were
(42:31):
created through an egg donor that is really their personal decision, right, right.
But anymore, with all these home DNA kits and all
of that, it's pretty easy to know, you know, to
find out, yeah, right, right, yeah, right, But yeah, I
think you know, I've watched I've watched this industry and
(42:53):
you know, this field through the years, like I said,
only nineteen years.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
And Jane that we've been helping to build.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Families, and I've just watched so many amazing.
Speaker 4 (43:06):
Opportunities through the years. It just really has expanded, and.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
So many more people are just so honest about their
infertility struggles, and I think it's really allowed others to feel,
you know, so much more supportant and have that hope,
and insurances have been getting better.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
To where you know, it's covering id oth and so
it's really.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
Been a world, you know right now, just you know,
hope for people who are struggling through infertility.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Great. Great. So if you're listening and you think you've
missed that boat, the baby boat, not necessarily, you can
contact Stacy and her company and I'm sure it's easily.
You can use my assistant Google Finders will be very easy.
And then tell me about the transition to she decides.
(43:58):
So originally she decides if I want to have a
kid or not through this avenue and now podcasts, you're
talking not about the subject at all with me because
nothing happen. Tell me about that that part of your journey.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Yeah, absolutely, So, you know, over the last few years,
I knew that there was something more I wanted to do.
Speaker 4 (44:21):
To reach to reach the amazing women right in this world.
I feel that, you know.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
It's been there's so much competitiveness with women, right and
I think that, you know, if we could just more
support one another, come together one another, you know, with
one another, and there's enough space for everybody in this world, right,
I don't care if it's this you're you're launching the
same company that I'm launching. I'm going to share you
on right, I think there's enough from for everybody you
(44:48):
do you So, I really wanted to celebrate women and
create a.
Speaker 4 (44:54):
Platform for them to share with fellow women that you
can do it. You know, stop beating yourself up. If
you want to launch that business, you can do it.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
You know, if you want to stay at home and
be a stay at home mom with your children for
the first five, six, ten years, and you know you
can do that too, right. So it's really been just
an opportunity for me to bring strong women onto the
podcast like yourself, and for the listeners to hear and
just maybe if they pick up just one little piece
(45:28):
of motivation, then I've done my job. And so she decides.
Really obviously the name, she decides, it's just you. You
are in control of your destiny and your happiness, and
we really want to just pick up the women and
you know, pick them up off the floor and just
give them an ounce of motivation and then just cure them, right,
(45:51):
And so that is really the inspiration behind she decides.
Speaker 4 (45:55):
It started out as a podcast.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
Jewelry jewelry Is that you design the jewelry?
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Yeah, so I have designed jewelry and I also yeah
so I we Actually this is so amazing. The timing
today is our launch day, October seventh. We are launching today, yes,
so how.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
It is another what right, what are the chances of that.
Speaker 3 (46:22):
My beautiful pieces from my collections, the Bold collection, And
it is again it's just really another platform. We want
to make women, you know, we want them to feel beautiful,
we want them to just feel you know.
Speaker 4 (46:40):
Just accepted into the world.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
And I just think again, social media has been kind
of harsh on people, right, So, like you said, wake up,
avoid the news, join your wonderful positive path, you know,
your your episodes.
Speaker 4 (46:53):
And just try to there's just so much negativity in
the world. Let's bring in positive.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
Let's let's do good, right and so, you know, definitely
supporting women, you know, in every way that we can, nonprofits,
just whatever.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
We can do, and that's what we're going to do,
as she decides.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
Collection.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
So today it's it's actual birthday, October seventh.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
I'm big into numbers.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
My favorite number seventeen, so I figured, you know, October
six of ten.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
And yeah, yeah, that's.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
Kind of fair at seventeen. So it's my lucky number.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
And so there is just a whole lot more on
the horizon that you know, I hope that you know,
you will continue to see that happening and conferences and
all kinds of fun things.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
To elevate women fantastic look forward to the invite to
a keynote at one of those, for sure, and I'm
thinking back, did I offer I think I offered you
ten seven. I think it was like I offered you
a date and you couldn't do it, and then I
(48:00):
offered you ten seven and you could. So that was
a what caught? Right? What are the of that? Because
I normally because I don't have guests every day, and
my Tuesday talent guess is on a ten seven. That's
a what caught moment? There you go, And I just
wanted to comment that it's interesting how women do that,
(48:26):
and I think part of it is in the genetics.
I have to you know, I did a little bit
of a study on this because as an organizational psychologist
that's what my PhD actually is in and working in
corporate and coaching women strong leaders as they rise and
(48:48):
coach them not to be like men. But there are
some things that men do that make them more successful
in business than women. And I think maybe it's because
of the cavemen original, you know, hunter gatherer and another
(49:09):
woman would be competition to your security and safety regardless.
What I how I saw a play out was two
men in a meeting would get so heated about two
alternatives to a solution. High strategic decision sea level, and
(49:31):
they would get to the point voices raised. You thought
you were going to see a fight breakout, right because
it was so heated. And then like, as soon as
the decision was made, where do you want to go
for lunch? Walk out? You know, and two women I've
watched the same thing, where same level of heat and
(49:53):
then decisions made and that woman wouldn't speak to the
other woman for the rest of her career. And it's
and it's I don't want to blame the women, I understand,
but there is that cattiness that we really it's like
to celebrate another woman's success and or to be so
(50:17):
secure in your own beauty. In Morocco, I remember complimenting
a woman and telling her as I passed her, you're beautiful,
and she looked at me and said thank you, I am,
and I was like, whoa, You're like all right, a
little too, yeah, but wouldn't it be great if we
(50:38):
all own that? And then another woman in Morocco said
it takes beauty to see beauty.
Speaker 3 (50:47):
I was just going to say that, yeah, because beauty
a lot of times also comes from within.
Speaker 4 (50:52):
And when you can feel beautiful.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
Within and you can express that, I mean, then you
can also accept it. And I think that is everything,
and that's really our mission is to let's change that narrative.
Let's celebrate women, you know, and I think too, back
to what you were sharing about the men, right, they
could just be just soaked at each other in the
(51:15):
you know, at work, you know, and two minutes later
they're you know, celebrating or just having the launch having
a beer together, right where women are just kind of
constantly they have that just that you know, tension.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
And but I.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
Really feel that women it's getting a lot better, but
we still have a long ways to go. In business, right,
you see so many more you know men business owners
or more men in leadership or you know what what
have you and women like, we've really fought hard to
be accepted, if you will, right, and I.
Speaker 4 (51:50):
Think we need to own it, and we need to
show up for each.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
Other, and we need to just you know, continue to elevate.
Speaker 4 (51:57):
And so again that's that's really the the meeting behind
she decides collection.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
And you know, I've been very blessed to get to
know and be around so many smart women and whether
they are you know, who I work with on a
daily basis, or just in the business arena, or the
beautiful surrogates and egg donors that you know that come
through the door as of family source consultants or the
(52:23):
antent appearance. But at the end of the day, like
women are pretty amazing, right, and we need to celebrate
one another rather than picking each other apart.
Speaker 4 (52:35):
You know, and just not being supportive.
Speaker 3 (52:39):
And so here we are and I'm looking forward to
you know, she decides collection.
Speaker 4 (52:44):
It started out as she decides started.
Speaker 3 (52:47):
The company with the jewelry line and you know, accessories.
Speaker 4 (52:51):
And it's it's and on collection. We're going to do
big things. So I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
That's awesome. Is that why you asked me for my address?
I think Kara asked me for my address. I'm gonna
expect to see something in the mail from she. Yes,
that would be awesome. And and I'm going to put
an hashtag happy eighty eight challenge. I did it on
(53:18):
Monday for something else, which was you know, being one
with your food and the deliciousness of life. But in
the spirit of this, if you put down a post
and uh, this is something that men do very well
as well, is they'll say, did you see what so
and so did, and they naturally promote, right their colleague
(53:43):
or whatever. Women very rarely. And and I have to say,
you know, since she interviewed me, she's been all over
my social like like like like, and that's so nice, right,
And that's she's practicing what she teaches. So how eighty
eight challenge from today is want you to in your
(54:04):
post or in your story, whatever it is, promote a
friend of yours, Promote this podcast, promote Stacy's podcast or collection,
and just put hashtag eighty eight Happy eighty eight. And
when I see it, I will gift you with something
from my collection, whether it's a song or an audiobook
copy of my number one bestseller, and and we'll see it.
(54:29):
And I'd like to donate one of those to you, Stacy.
I'll send you a free audiobook of the Eight Ways Happiness,
because yeah, this is a it's a habit we have
to get in the habit of supporting other women and
quipping so working caddie, it really is.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
Yeah, And think about like you see anybody a celebrity.
Let's just use any celebrity, right, and you have the
whole world liking their posts, right, they have millions of likes.
But then here you you have a friend or a
neighbor that's maybe they have a little small business right
into them, it's everything and they're putting their heart and
soul into it. And you don't acknowledge that. You just
(55:10):
don't think to acknowledge it. But you'll go and like,
I don't know, Taylor switching right, you know what I mean.
So yes, let's let's let's let's attach.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
That energy from us. Yes, take that good local or local.
Speaker 4 (55:24):
Absolutely and your friends.
Speaker 3 (55:26):
And like I said, women, and I also think that women,
you know, they have a lot of guilt they carry
around with them of you know, they want to start
a company and.
Speaker 4 (55:36):
Whatever it is. But then maybe they're they have.
Speaker 3 (55:37):
The children and they just you know, they're trying to
juggle it all and and so at the end of
the day, you also have to fill your own jug right,
you have to make yourself happy and you've got.
Speaker 4 (55:48):
To be good to yourself. So whatever makes.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
You happy, do that, do that oxygen mask. Yeah's where
you're never going to have anyone say to you. You know, darling,
you've done so much work, You've done so good, Go
take a load off. You know, you might pay someone
to do that. But the most important person to say
(56:11):
that is you. You know, give yourself permission. I take
one day off a month to do absolutely nothing, you know,
and that's my gift to me and I I did
the bike this morning. I'm like, good job, mama. I
have to if I do something I don't like to do,
I get to play candy Crush or Solitaire. Is it
(56:34):
feels good give yourself permission to love your own life
and give your race?
Speaker 4 (56:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (56:44):
Yeah, for sure. Oh well, this has been amazing. I've
had such a good time with you. My final word
you get forty four seconds. That's my eight eight. It's
a lucky number in Chinese. I know you thought I
was sweet, but everything's an eight. Well, forty four second
(57:04):
final word from Stacy.
Speaker 4 (57:06):
Oh goodness.
Speaker 3 (57:07):
My final word is just be true to yourself. Like
when we were sharing, be to yourself. Wake up with gratitude.
Try to wake up with gratitude every day and just
remember that everything stays consistent.
Speaker 4 (57:20):
If you're having a bad day, just work to change
it and the next day will be that much better.
Speaker 3 (57:26):
And yeah, just be grateful for every day and that
we have the opportunity in life with technology and just
everything at our fingertips.
Speaker 4 (57:37):
Just don't ever give up by.
Speaker 3 (57:38):
Your dream and that's really important to me, whether that
is having children or starting a business, whatever it may be.
Speaker 4 (57:45):
Don't ever give up. Surround yourself by like nine and
positive people.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
Awesome. You know the drill at the end of every show.
Peace fingers up. It's all about balance, peace in peace,
out world, peace through inner piece. Thanks so much Stacy
for being on my warm, not hot seat. And now
remember to go and have the best day ever. I'll
(58:11):
see youmorrow Doctors in the house with doctor tiffany date tomorrow.
I have the best day ever. Thanks Stacey.
Speaker 8 (58:27):
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KCAA ten fifty am mm hmm. This is Casey a A.
Speaker 6 (01:00:06):
You're listening to the Tahebra Tea Club radio show hosted
by
Oh, stuff off at exhausting amster wheel and into balance.
Living with Doctor Marissa from Missus. Doctor Marissa, also known
as the Asian Oprah. Her mission to be a beneficial
(00:20):
presence on the planet, her purpose to be your personal advocate,
to live, lap love, learn, her life motto, don't die wondering,
Take back your life with Doctor Maurissa Pey.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And no welcome. You're tuned in to take my advice,
I'm not using it. Get balance with Doctor Marissa, The
Morning Show. You're on casey AA, NBC News c NBC News,
NBC Sports Radio Station a m t N fifty FM
one oh six point five home to the Asian Oprah
(00:56):
Number one talking the Ie, Thank you very much and
streaming everywhere. iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, Tune in, Audible, Amazon Music,
Tiki Live, Rum Bullpodje's a streaker, speaker and more. Why
so many places. I want to maximize my splatter zone
for more hope and happiness. So I balance out the
(01:17):
headlines with some heartlines. We do not talk about the
headlines here, No politics, no religion. Why I want to
start my day off in the most positive way. And
Lord knows if you're gonna listen to the news. If
it bleeds, it leads, And therefore people know for the
past seven hundred and one consecutive weeks that if you're
(01:38):
tired of being piss offedness in the morning, you will
come and join me here for topics guests co hosts,
and today is no exception. We have another fabulous hashtag
Tuesday talent guest who joins me in helping me spread
(01:58):
more positive and she's a you know, she had me
on her hot seat last August. I believe and turn
about is fair play. So I am so excited to
have here someone who is herself a podcast host. Stacey
(02:19):
Swiderski spiders Okay is the founder and CEO of Family
Source Consultants, a global leading surrogacy and egg donation agency
she launched in two thousand and seven that has helped
to bring thousands of miracles into the world. She's also
(02:40):
the author of a purpose Driven success set to be
released this year, which explores mission driven leadership and entrepreneurship.
Most recently, Stacey founded She Decides Collection, a new company
and movement that includes a jewelry line, Essentials, and a
podcast dedicated to uplifting and celebrating successful woman, empowerment and
(03:06):
the power of choosing to be your reason. Please, welcome
to my studio, Staycy, welcome to this show.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm so glad to
be here. Absolutely in the morning.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
And it's it's funny. I loved reading the bio because
you know, I keep it fresh. I don't do pre
interviews on purpose, and I had no clue about the
egg donation. And I now I know why I was
brought on your show. I love being called a powerful
(03:52):
and successful woman. I wasn't quite sure, you know. Shout
out and gratitude to Wan, my pr person, publicist, and
he's the one who said you're going on our show.
So now I know why, and I'm so delighted to
meet you. Top of the show. We do this every
(04:15):
weekday morning we have breakfast with myself and whoever's in
the studio this morning, it is Stacy. We're gonna take
a bite of my gratitude sandwich. So top of the
bun we look outside of ourselves. What are we grateful
for that we can see here, tastes and touch. Bottom
of the bun is what we're going to model for
(04:35):
you that I want you to do tonight before you
go to bed, which is gratitude turn inwards. What do
you like about yourself? So let's get started. Top of
the bun. I am grateful for let's see minute subscriber here.
(04:55):
I love it. Looking forward to our incredible host on
the this week's episode, I have a feeling that's Kara
in the background writing that.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Oh yeah, I'm sure my biggest fan.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
That is so wonderful. I was complimenting you, Kara to
Stacy this morning. But I am grateful for my ability
to have this platform for seven one hundred and one
consecutive fourking weeks on camera on the air, and I'm
grateful for that. Stacy. What are you grateful for?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Goodness, so many things, but I'm you know, I have
to start out with I'm grateful for my health. It
allows me to make up every day and do everything
and tackle, you know, the challenges before me. But next
to help because it's probably a lot of people's grateful,
you know, as sayings with the definitely the outlet that
we have to reach so many people and hopefully better
(05:54):
their lives. And yeah, that's great up there, second to.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
My house, awesome, awesome, I am grateful that the planets
did not crash into each other last night, so that
I have another twenty four hours for sure, Well at
least the next hour. I'll say to UH, live, love, learn, laugh, create, innovate,
(06:18):
and delight in this thing called life. Absolutely one more gratitude.
What would what would?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Who?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Who? Or anyone that you're grateful for?
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Yeah, oh my gosh, so many people.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
But you know, aside from my amazing sport of husband,
I would my my amazing team with both family source.
She decides collection, I just have an amazing team behind
me that really.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Supports and everything that I do, and I couldn't do
without them. I mean, they're so smart. They're much more
smart than I am.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
So you got to surround yourself by those, you know,
those smart people.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
So yeah, it's my people, my people, my circle.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's so great, that's so great. I forgot to say
that I'm grateful for uh motherhood and my daughter. Right now,
my younger one is visiting Strove down from San Francisco.
It's her birthday month, so we're celebrating her birthday and
she brought her fabulous boyfriend who I just adore, and
(07:19):
they I'm grateful that they and my two. You know,
do you have kids, I do.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
I have a mean yeah, four amazing children, yes.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Or wow, adults Yeah, and it's fine. Wow, I thought
I looked young. You are definitely yeah, oil of a
user here. But they went with my two. I have
(07:51):
a lot of kids, their friends. You know, when I
was the house, they would come to and hang out.
You really yeah, yes, So they called me doctor mom.
And last night four of them went and watched me
do stand up.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Oh that is so cool. It is cool, fine, I
mean really cool.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I'm grateful. I had to I had to cut out
about half of my routine. But anyways, I am so great.
That's all I'm gonna say. But I'm so grateful, what
a what a fun time we had, and then you know,
(08:42):
came and played games. I'm just so grateful for the
fullness of my life as a mom. Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
It's you know, you were your own children's friends.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Watching them grow up and then seeing them now as
like adults.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
It's just for what it makes you realize how time flies. Wow.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
But yeah, just to be able to see them really
mature into these you know, adults and doing adult things.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
It's just it's pretty exciting.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, that's that's that's great. All right, let's go to
the bottom of the bun, which is weightlifting for your
own mental health. A lot of us are aware now,
and I will thank my honorable Moniker Oprah, who she
I think I credit her with bringing the whole conversation
(09:36):
about mental health to the mainstream so that it's okay
to talk about it, right, really talked about correct, right.
She balanced out Jerry Springer. If you remember, that was
the mainstream TV and we're still hashtag ageless.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Right, that's.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yes, Yes, I didn't know I shared that with you,
but I'm glad to hear that I do. Yeah. So
it's good on one hand that we are aware of
the importance of mental health. The downside, thank you for
the finger. Somebody just gave us this finger, not the
other one. On that point, and it is it is
(10:25):
unfortunate that a lot of people are are are they go, Okay,
I'm not well. Therefore I am going to seek outside
satisfaction or so sorry, outside soothing, whether it's drugs to
numb it, right, pharmaceutical included, or people, places and things,
(10:51):
or when I say, looking for love and all the
wrong places yeah to me, yeah, or likes like literally
having your intenna up for likes on social media. How
many people like me? Blah blah blah blah. So this
bottom of the bun before you go to bed, instead
of thinking about what I didn't do right or what
I didn't finish, you know, recovering perfectionists that I'm sure
(11:14):
we both are, or thinking about who done me wrong.
I want us to get used to saying nice things
about ourself and really owning that we are eighty eight
percent fabulous. Twelve percent of the time we step in it,
but the majority of ourselves is good. So that's what
(11:35):
the bottom of the bun is. So I'll start. I
appreciate that I am not as hard on myself as
I used to be, so I can cut myself a
break and give myself the bod, which is benefit of
the doubt that I'm doing the best that I can
(11:55):
with the time that I have and the resources I have.
And that was a weight lifting exercise, not a switch.
I had to practice looking for things that I could say,
good job, mama, like I did forty eight minutes on
the bike this morning. Didn't feel like doing it, but
I did it anyways, I can have that. Yeah, I am.
(12:18):
You know, good job, mama. So what do you like
about yourself? Stacy?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
What I really like about myself and I you know,
this is probably a newer self over the last several years,
is my ability to delegate, and that has really lifted
so much.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Weight off of my shoulders.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
I used to think I had to do it all,
you know, and it's draining, and you talk about mental health,
that will definitely, you know, drive you a little nut sell, right,
and you're you're in an eighty five million different directions,
you know. Yesday, I still juggle a lot. But the
things that I know that I don't have to, I've
(13:03):
learned to delegate and that has been one thousand pounds.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Off my shoulders.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
And it has also has shown me, Wow, these people
that I'm delegating to are so smart and had I
not delegated, I would have never noticed that. Right, So
now it's like, wow, this is pretty nice, you know.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
So it's really.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Allowed me to open the doors, work on other things,
start another company, and.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
So yeah, for me, that is a really good power.
Left is delegating.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Yeah, aw so awesome. I want to give a quick
shout out to Africa who is a very loyal supporter.
Welcome to Drop Baptiste and he comes from Rwanda. One
of my favorite guests on the show was Frederick who
(14:01):
had his arms chopped off by the one in the
Rwanda and genocide by the terrorists and he started rehabilitation
centers in Rwanda. And John Baptiste is one of the
individuals that runs one of the facilities. And it's always
beautiful sear uh and and and it's great to have
(14:24):
you here. He's always you know, yeah, so support you
in raising sports here if possible. So absolutely we're sending you,
you know, blessings and intentions and whatever you know, uh
positive and whatever that leads to him. So absolutely. One
(14:50):
last thing that I like about myself is that I
am beginning to get rid of the voices that I
grew up with with the last I was called fat
and ugly and then as by well meaning mom who
(15:12):
you know, Chinese have this thing called a negative motivation.
In order to make sure you're not fat and ugly,
they'll say you're fat and ugly, and it was a
very strong voice. Yeah, and then I and then you
don't even have to have a mom like that. Kids,
you know, somewhere around seven or eight, they'll pick up
(15:32):
that voice inside that says, you're not as pretty as her,
you're not as skinny as her, and and it's in
I think for women it's a stronger voice than men.
Not all, but it seems to be a.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Well, I think to such.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
A media these days and all the filters and all
the expectations and wanting to you know, be accepted, I
think it's it's a whole world that we're living in that,
you know, we didn't grow up with that.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Yes, yes, so I appreciate that. I just a little
bit uh starting to go, Okay, you're not bad, you're
not bad looking. You cannot you know, and actually accept
the compliment and let it go more than just like
(16:21):
bounce off. So you know, it's I used to say,
if I could just see myself as like twenty five
percent as beautiful as the way other people do, and
people go, you're crazy. But honestly, when you had that
kind of conditioning, it's not just easy to go, Okay,
yeah I'm beautiful, you know.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, So it's.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Imp really, it's like, yeah, you have to really learn
to be hind to yourself.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yeah, for sure, for sure. All right, one last one
for me, what do you like from yourself?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
You know this is probably a little generic, but I'm
going to throw.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Out my work ethic.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
I'm very proud of that, and it's something that I
have really honed into my whole life. And you know,
staying on something that you really believe in, something purpose driving,
and you can create something whatever it is you know
that you are good at and something that you love,
(17:30):
and you're consistent with your hard work and your work ethic,
I mean, you're bound to be successful.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
And that really is obviously the whole meeting.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Behind the whole she decides collection and podcasts that we
you know that I brought to fruition the share and
really motivating other like minded and women to.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
To be good to yourself.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yes, that's why I added collection on your lower third
there as you were talking, because it was like, oh, yeah,
there's way more than just a podcast, which I know
and we'll find out more about that in a minute.
But I just want to encourage everyone. You can join
me every weekday morning to take a bite of my
(18:16):
gratitude sandwich start your day in the most positive way.
Twenty one twenty eight or thirty days, you create a
good life habit. I hope you join me in this
good life habit. Thanks for joining both of us for breakfast.
And now for the topic of the day. It says
(18:43):
everything is awesome, and the topic today is Stacy and
the she decides collection and more so, first of all,
did you know when you were a kid, this is
where you would be, what you would were doing, what
(19:04):
you were inspired to do. Did you have any idea?
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Not necessarily new, not necessarily I was I was when
I and I was kid.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
I was kind of all over the place, right, you know.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
I grew up in the born in the seventies, grew
up in the eighties. I you know, I was very
much into athletics.
Speaker 4 (19:25):
That was, you know, very athletic and in the sports.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
But definitely in my early twenties, I would say, is
when that entrepreneurial bog really bit me.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
I was. I was mover and a shaker and a talker,
and I knew I just couldn't work like a nine.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
To five, right, There's just so much I wanted to
do and and but yeah, it's I've always been very
curious of other people's you know, businesses, how do their
businesses operate, and the behind the scenes of companies, and
so I'm kind of a nerve when it comes to that.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I love learning business, but yeah, I didn't know until
my early twenties.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Okay, And where did you grow up, because I know
you're hailing from the East Coast, right.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
I'm in last Chicago area.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Yes, grew up in the Chicago area suburbs about twenty
five twenty five minutes south.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Of the city. And you have borne Rice here here
in Illinois.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Oh right, yeah, one time I've been there. I got
to sing with Buddy what's his name, the jazz guy
that's in Chicago.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Yeah, yeah, good, yeah, in the city.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yes, yes. And then that kidney bean jelly bean thing.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yeahan in Chicago.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, it's so cool. Yeah, it's weird and cool at
the same time. Yes, it is so early.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Oprah, like with the Asian Oprah. You know, the whole
the whole Woodfrey from the show. Is you know Chicago
based on a lot?
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yes, yes absolutely. And so you grew up your family siblings.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
I had two older brothers, two of them, so I
was the youngest. So that probably tends to be why.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
I was so, you know, very much in the athletics forty.
I was such a tomboy growing up. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
I could throw a football at baseball like like the
Rustling Boys.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I was very much when I was at a long age,
probably three and up.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Yeah, So, you know, we moved around a lot, a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Throughout, but all within you know, Illinois area, closer to
the area. And but it's it's been I've met a
lot of people, you know, back then though we didn't
have that.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
We didn't have Facebook or the social media. It was
you know, handwriting him him penpales.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
So it's really neat to reconnect many years later through
social media.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Yeah yeah, and in the egg donor thing, talk to me,
how did that come about?
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yeah? Absolutely so. Oh gosh, we won't wake back on
those tools. More than two decades ago.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
When I knew too in order to build my family,
I already had three beautiful children. And when I met
my husband, now we've been together for twenty five years now.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
And how did you meet? Sorry, I love these stories.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Oh my goodness, yeah, you know, we met. It was funny.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
I just have been running into him at the weirdest places.
I had no idea who he was. It would be
at you know, the grocery store, at the harborre store,
at the gym, even in other towns, and I'm like, wow,
he didn't see me, but I saw him a little stocker, right.
So for about ten months, ten months, I kept been
running to him.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Finally I called him. I'm like, I got I got
to find who this guy is.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
You know, this is before, this is back in two thousand,
so like many many years ago.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
And then I found his.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Number because he had owned his company back then, and
I just called the number off the off his sweatshirts.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
He was a contractor and builder contractor. And he answered
and I hung up at him right away. I'm like,
oh my god.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
I called back and I'm like, Hi, are you that
guy in the big red truck And we've been together.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Since so, oh my goodness. That so you liked what
you saw.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
You saw him he was a little honey, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah, uh huh, and you just went for it.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
And I said, you know what, I'm never going to
learn more about those you know, ten months of running
into each other is pretty crazy.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
But the crazy thing is is when I.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Called him that night, I'll never forget because he's not
a super social guy.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
They're on the phone long time. He had no idea who.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Was talking to right, No way, he had no.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Idea because he didn't see me, so clearly if he did,
he wasn't interested. But anyways, he's one year older. But
we have the exact birthdays. Yes, I'm like, what is
your birthday?
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Yes, we have the exact same birthdays Jade or seventeen.
So how cool is that?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
So that's a what pot what are the chances of that?
Right a moment? So that was totally meant to be
right now when he saw you for the first time, Yeah,
what was the dies He didn't, It didn't jar his
like he had never seen you.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
No, he did it because we were always in like
the public, So he would be like checking out of
a store and I'd be like in a whole nother aisle,
or he would be at the gym walking out and
I would be up in the cardio area.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
So like he never saw me and lights didn't meet him.
You know, I I love that line. Do you remember
the showy Ugly? I mean, we're home my bad?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
I went to see that one night with my girlfriends,
and so I was just all driveed up by.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
The way home and I'm like, I've been to drive
by his house.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Oh my goodness, you are taking the garbage.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
Ob. Yeah, I was taking the garbage.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Ob.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
And that's the first time we saw each other. I
remember it was pouring rain that day, so yeah, my
hair was all big.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And that was the first time you saw him, but
you hadn't called him yet.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
No, I didn't call him. We did talk, but I don't.
Yeah I did it.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
And did you put your head out the window and
say I'm your stalker?
Speaker 4 (25:44):
I did?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
And you liked me so far? And was he like smiling?
He obviously was like, oh, thank God, she's gorgeous, right, yeah, right.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
He clear that there was some kind of.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Mutual attraction there than God, so, you know, diving back
into the whole agg donation.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
You know, he didn't have any children.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
You know, this was a remarriage for me, and back
in ninety seven, I had to have a partial hysterectomy.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
So I still had my ovaries remaining.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
But they removed my universe, right, so that at the
time I was just not too like, wildly.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
Concerned because they did it for health. Reasons.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
The most importantly my health was being protected right, right,
and had three children and I wasn't really anticipating honestly
having children, right. Met my husband, my now husband, and
so we had to go through gestational service to have
our son, meaning we had a carrier.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
We used my genetics, my husband's genetics, and so our
son was.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Born and I don't I'm not familiar with her. So
it was through another woman.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Yes, so we had a gestational carrier. Yep, so they
implanted our embryos. They transferred to embryos.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
Many years ago.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
And yeah, and he my son, you know, he's our son,
is now twenty. But family really is you know, going
back to starting my first company, Family Source Consultants, which
we'll be celebrating nineteen years coming off in January. So yeah,
it really is the seed that.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Planted the whole idea, right.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
And then after my son was born through gestational surrogacy,
you know, he was born in two thousand and five.
I started the company in two thousand and seven and
I was approached by a really dear friend of mine
and she had neighbors who were they were looking for
an egg donor. And I never really thought about it
(27:54):
too much, you know, And I'm like, you know, I've been.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
Through an aggre treble to have our son through CERC. See,
I know what it's like.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
I wouldn't be happy to give it a whirl, right,
So I ended up as an egg donor for for
this family, so it was more of an open egg
donation twice. And they have a son and a daughter
through my egg donation, so they're now on the teens.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
And but yeah, you know, I've been.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
On both sides of the fence with with family and
I needed help to build my family through a gestational
carrier or the other. I was an indnor for a family,
So full circle, riting, very full circle.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah, and and this I love learning new things, so
this is like a completely I have no clue about
any of this A lot of me.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
It's like if you don't, you don't, but if you do,
it's like.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Wow, okay, yeah going through it. Yeah, like the whole
gestational carrier, I didn't even know what that was as
a term. So so okay, so great. I get to
ask you some questions because you're in this. And first
I'm going to give you doctor Merris's beneficial presence on
the planet a war because I love it when people
(29:11):
take their own difficulties challenges and turn it into an
opportunity to enhance other people's lives. So for that, I
give you my doctor Merris's beneficial presence on the planet awar.
(29:34):
So so love just fell down.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
That's a sign.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yes, it is a sign. It is a sign. And
so I've always wondered, well, first, how prevalent is this,
like how many? I'm sure you know the stat's better
than I do. I don't know any how many women
go through this type of I've heard of I yes,
(30:00):
a lot, Yeah, but this particular area I haven't.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yeah, absolutely, so, I mean you think about it.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Infertility affect so many people, what in six you know,
and I want to say that's even growing.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah, yeah, so you know, and for a variety of reasons.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
It could be unexplained infertility where they just don't know
why they're not able to get pregnant, or they may
be able to become pregnant, but they can't stay pregnant
so they miscarry. Right, so you have the unexplained you know, infertility.
You have a quality issues with some women that you know,
maybe they can carry, but they need an akednor you know,
(30:37):
or maybe they have more of a uterus issue or
no uters like myself and they could utilize their eggs.
You know, you have people who have battled cancer. So
just so many different reasons why somebody may need, you know,
assistance with growing their family.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Yes, it's very very common, very common.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
We've got thousands of babies born through family source consultants
and it's just been incredible to you to be able
to help the families that we do and put their
trusting to us, you know, and the amazing service in
egg donors who step up to the plate to help
(31:17):
these individuals become parents or grow their family.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Right, So that's the next level. So first of all,
I want to just go on record. I have you know,
I'm known for being real and putting the mousa on
the table, which is my version h Canadian version of
talking about the elephant in the room. And I have
heard some well meaning but more mean than well people say, well,
(31:43):
you're just not meant to be parents. If you can't
have a child the natural way, you're just not meant
to be parents, and or you obviously are being punished,
and that is bull Shittaki. It's like the worstable thing
to think or say. So I'm just going to put
that down. And if you're thinking, if someone stupid has
(32:06):
said that to you, you can just say thank you
very much for your opinion, don't need it, and inside
your head you can say if I look like you,
I'd be miserable too. So so I just want to
put that moss on the table. Okay, yes, okay, So
(32:26):
now let's go to you have you know it's been
on TV uh pure stories because news life to sensationalize
the bad side or the downside of surrogacy where you're
whatever that term you used, station where they changed their mind? Right?
(32:53):
Is that really as prevalent as the news makes it
to be?
Speaker 1 (32:59):
Uh that?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Okay, another moose on the table.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
This is the loose on that table.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
One.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
We have had thousands of babies born through surrogacy and
a donation, and we have never, ever, not once ever
had a surrogate feel that that child that she delivered,
that she had any maternal.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Bond towards the child.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
It's really the opposite, where they are just so excited
for the family and the parents that they're helping, they
cannot wait to just see the expression and the joy
in those parents' faces when the babies are born or
the baby is born. Now, yes, do they have a
bond with the parents, maybe with you know, this human
(33:47):
that they've been carrying, right.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
But it's more like someone so you know, it's kind of.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Like a maybe like an aunt or something or a
close friend because they have cared for this, you know
this this baby.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Sure protected the baby, and.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
That's you know, really that's their responsibility and they know that.
But you know, they have children, right, All surrogates have
to have had at least one child to kirie for
another family, so they're already a mom, so they're not
you know, lacking in you know, the whole motherhood. And
to be quite honest, I think you know, at the
(34:21):
end of the day, they're on this.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Journey is what we call it, a service journey for
you know, at least a year and a half.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
They're probably at the point pretty ready to say, here
you go.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
I'm going to go do my thing now, right, you know.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
And and with my family and my children and and
you know, and the families are all part of it,
and that's the whole thing, right right. Right. She's married,
you know, her partner has to be really you know,
they have to be accepting of it. And so they
really formed this bond or this sometimes friendship, you know,
(34:55):
parents not all the time, and sometimes it could be
a mutual respect. But once they it's warmer, but it
goes down their way and they may keep in touch
once or twice a year, and then sometimes it's just
a you know, celebration of a new friendship.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
So each and every journey, if you will, is a
little different, but it's right.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
And America has been created and that's what's right.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Right. Wow, fascinating stuff. We need to take a quick
break for news, weather, traffic, and a word from our sponsor,
don't go away. We'll come back and do and do.
As Chuck Uller used to say, I'm saying peace and
peace out. We'll be right back with Stacy and Moore
about she decides literally podcasts, don't go away, We'll be
(35:37):
right back. Well.
Speaker 6 (35:56):
She has been dubbed the Asian Oprah, and she just
wants all of us to be happy.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Doctor Marissa aka the Asian Oprah says, the most important
thing you can choose is choosing to be happy.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show
called take my advice. I'm not using it.
Speaker 7 (36:21):
Get balanced with Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 6 (36:35):
That's the idea for doctor Marissa Pay's new book call
Eight Ways to Be Happy.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Many of us say, I am my own worst critic.
Nobody's harder on me than I am. And my response
to that is stop it. Why are you doing that
to yourself? You have to be your biggest fan, because
if you can't, at the end of the day say
I did a good job, who is We don't have
(37:01):
to constantly be angry at the things that are wrong.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
Why don't we choose to be happy about.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Things that are right. We have the choice.
Speaker 5 (37:09):
That's our muscle, and life is so amazing if we
can see it.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurica Pey.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
And we're back. You're doing to take my advice, I'm
not using it. Get balance with Doctor Marissa. Good Morning
show here on kazy AA, home to the Asian OPRAH
NBC News Radio number one, talking the I thank you
very much and streaming everywhere iheartradios I and of course
my YouTube TV channel which if you free subscribe and
(38:05):
give me the finger, this one not the other one.
You will get an alert every weekday morning to tune
into the show about open happiness that has now passed
the four million impression mark on the TV channel. So
grateful for that, and I bring you really interesting and
love learning new things. Today is definitely not an exception
(38:28):
we have with us. Stacey, Uh okay, you say its
thank you, the founder and cego of Family Source Consultants,
a global leading surrogacy and egg donation agency. We heard
a lot about that. I have a couple more questions
and then we're going to launch into her collection, which
(38:48):
includes a podcast that she invited me onto. That's how
I got to her to bring you her as my
Tuesday Talent guest today. Welcome back to the studio, Stacy.
Give you a little more love you as you can tell,
(39:10):
I'm a very affirming h on.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
Up.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
So one last question for the agency and the surrogacy
you you said, sometimes, uh, you know, it's up to
the family or the individual. Does it ever get like
sticky where the kid wants to know or do the parents?
Is it really would you say better for the kids
(39:43):
to know at what age do they need to know?
Like kind of along the lines of adoption and and
like in my mind, the messaging would be very positive,
which is you know, you're so just like adoption, you're
so wanted that that the you know, we jump through
(40:05):
hoops to get you right deal.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Yes, yes, but to answer your question, yes, absolutely, the
the child born through service the typically always knows that
that there that their parents had utilized a surrogate to
to get them to this world. And that is something too.
It's it's really important as well. Like the matching process
(40:31):
between a tent appearance and a surrogate, it's such a
mutual matching process that.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
We align all of.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Their criteria, you know, really what is their mission, their vision,
you know, with the with the relationship. Just to ensure
that everybody has a really great experience right through the
whole service process, so you know, and an example for
that is, let's say the surrogate wants to crate for
a couple who live within three hours from her, right,
(41:02):
so we want to make sure that those anten of
parents meet her you know, expectations and vice versa. The
antenn of parents may want a surrogate who is you know,
going to share you know, the the entire experience with
the antended parents, welcome them to all the doctor appointments
and things like that.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
So we want to make sure everybody's wishes are well
aligned right somewhere.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Maybe the antenn of parents in the surrogate, they're across
the you know, the United States, I mean ones on.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
The East coast, ones on the West coast, and so
the aten of parents just physically can't be there all
the time. And that's okay too.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
So we really look at so many different outside situations
when we match aten of parents, But ultimately, every everybody
you know, understands that the child is going to know
that as surrogate was you know, utilized, especially in these days.
I mean it's everywhere services everywhere. Look at all the
(41:57):
celebrities you know that just are open so proud of it,
you know, so part of their suria and share their salaries.
Speaker 4 (42:04):
Yeah, you know. On the other hand of that, I think,
you know, the egg donation has been a.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Little more of a trickier piece, right because many women
can carry the child or even if they even if
they utilize the suriot an an a donor, they don't
typically have to announce to the world that they use
an egg donor, right, So that's one that's a little
more I would say, I have a sheltered piece that
I think when the time is right for the for
the parents to share with their child that they were
(42:31):
created through an egg donor that is really their personal decision, right, right.
But anymore, with all these home DNA kits and all
of that, it's pretty easy to know, you know, to
find out, yeah, right, right, yeah, right, But yeah, I
think you know, I've watched I've watched this industry and
(42:53):
you know, this field through the years, like I said,
only nineteen years.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
And Jane that we've been helping to build.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Families, and I've just watched so many amazing.
Speaker 4 (43:06):
Opportunities through the years. It just really has expanded, and.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
So many more people are just so honest about their
infertility struggles, and I think it's really allowed others to feel,
you know, so much more supportant and have that hope,
and insurances have been getting better.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
To where you know, it's covering id oth and so
it's really.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
Been a world, you know right now, just you know,
hope for people who are struggling through infertility.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Great. Great. So if you're listening and you think you've
missed that boat, the baby boat, not necessarily, you can
contact Stacy and her company and I'm sure it's easily.
You can use my assistant Google Finders will be very easy.
And then tell me about the transition to she decides.
(43:58):
So originally she decides if I want to have a
kid or not through this avenue and now podcasts, you're
talking not about the subject at all with me because
nothing happen. Tell me about that that part of your journey.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
Yeah, absolutely, So, you know, over the last few years,
I knew that there was something more I wanted to do.
Speaker 4 (44:21):
To reach to reach the amazing women right in this world.
I feel that, you know.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
It's been there's so much competitiveness with women, right and
I think that, you know, if we could just more
support one another, come together one another, you know, with
one another, and there's enough space for everybody in this world, right,
I don't care if it's this you're you're launching the
same company that I'm launching. I'm going to share you
on right, I think there's enough from for everybody you
(44:48):
do you So, I really wanted to celebrate women and
create a.
Speaker 4 (44:54):
Platform for them to share with fellow women that you
can do it. You know, stop beating yourself up. If
you want to launch that business, you can do it.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
You know, if you want to stay at home and
be a stay at home mom with your children for
the first five, six, ten years, and you know you
can do that too, right. So it's really been just
an opportunity for me to bring strong women onto the
podcast like yourself, and for the listeners to hear and
just maybe if they pick up just one little piece
(45:28):
of motivation, then I've done my job. And so she decides.
Really obviously the name, she decides, it's just you. You
are in control of your destiny and your happiness, and
we really want to just pick up the women and
you know, pick them up off the floor and just
give them an ounce of motivation and then just cure them, right,
(45:51):
And so that is really the inspiration behind she decides.
Speaker 4 (45:55):
It started out as a podcast.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
Jewelry jewelry Is that you design the jewelry?
Speaker 3 (46:04):
Yeah, so I have designed jewelry and I also yeah
so I we Actually this is so amazing. The timing
today is our launch day, October seventh. We are launching today, yes,
so how.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
It is another what right, what are the chances of that.
Speaker 3 (46:22):
My beautiful pieces from my collections, the Bold collection, And
it is again it's just really another platform. We want
to make women, you know, we want them to feel beautiful,
we want them to just feel you know.
Speaker 4 (46:40):
Just accepted into the world.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
And I just think again, social media has been kind
of harsh on people, right, So, like you said, wake up,
avoid the news, join your wonderful positive path, you know,
your your episodes.
Speaker 4 (46:53):
And just try to there's just so much negativity in
the world. Let's bring in positive.
Speaker 3 (46:58):
Let's let's do good, right and so, you know, definitely
supporting women, you know, in every way that we can, nonprofits,
just whatever.
Speaker 4 (47:07):
We can do, and that's what we're going to do,
as she decides.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
Collection.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
So today it's it's actual birthday, October seventh.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
I'm big into numbers.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
My favorite number seventeen, so I figured, you know, October
six of ten.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
And yeah, yeah, that's.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
Kind of fair at seventeen. So it's my lucky number.
Speaker 3 (47:28):
And so there is just a whole lot more on
the horizon that you know, I hope that you know,
you will continue to see that happening and conferences and
all kinds of fun things.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
To elevate women fantastic look forward to the invite to
a keynote at one of those, for sure, and I'm
thinking back, did I offer I think I offered you
ten seven. I think it was like I offered you
a date and you couldn't do it, and then I
(48:00):
offered you ten seven and you could. So that was
a what caught? Right? What are the of that? Because
I normally because I don't have guests every day, and
my Tuesday talent guess is on a ten seven. That's
a what caught moment? There you go, And I just
wanted to comment that it's interesting how women do that,
(48:26):
and I think part of it is in the genetics.
I have to you know, I did a little bit
of a study on this because as an organizational psychologist
that's what my PhD actually is in and working in
corporate and coaching women strong leaders as they rise and
(48:48):
coach them not to be like men. But there are
some things that men do that make them more successful
in business than women. And I think maybe it's because
of the cavemen original, you know, hunter gatherer and another
(49:09):
woman would be competition to your security and safety regardless.
What I how I saw a play out was two
men in a meeting would get so heated about two
alternatives to a solution. High strategic decision sea level, and
(49:31):
they would get to the point voices raised. You thought
you were going to see a fight breakout, right because
it was so heated. And then like, as soon as
the decision was made, where do you want to go
for lunch? Walk out? You know, and two women I've
watched the same thing, where same level of heat and
(49:53):
then decisions made and that woman wouldn't speak to the
other woman for the rest of her career. And it's
and it's I don't want to blame the women, I understand,
but there is that cattiness that we really it's like
to celebrate another woman's success and or to be so
(50:17):
secure in your own beauty. In Morocco, I remember complimenting
a woman and telling her as I passed her, you're beautiful,
and she looked at me and said thank you, I am,
and I was like, whoa, You're like all right, a
little too, yeah, but wouldn't it be great if we
(50:38):
all own that? And then another woman in Morocco said
it takes beauty to see beauty.
Speaker 3 (50:47):
I was just going to say that, yeah, because beauty
a lot of times also comes from within.
Speaker 4 (50:52):
And when you can feel beautiful.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
Within and you can express that, I mean, then you
can also accept it. And I think that is everything,
and that's really our mission is to let's change that narrative.
Let's celebrate women, you know, and I think too, back
to what you were sharing about the men, right, they
could just be just soaked at each other in the
(51:15):
you know, at work, you know, and two minutes later
they're you know, celebrating or just having the launch having
a beer together, right where women are just kind of
constantly they have that just that you know, tension.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
And but I.
Speaker 3 (51:28):
Really feel that women it's getting a lot better, but
we still have a long ways to go. In business, right,
you see so many more you know men business owners
or more men in leadership or you know what what
have you and women like, we've really fought hard to
be accepted, if you will, right, and I.
Speaker 4 (51:50):
Think we need to own it, and we need to
show up for each.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
Other, and we need to just you know, continue to elevate.
Speaker 4 (51:57):
And so again that's that's really the the meeting behind
she decides collection.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
And you know, I've been very blessed to get to
know and be around so many smart women and whether
they are you know, who I work with on a
daily basis, or just in the business arena, or the
beautiful surrogates and egg donors that you know that come
through the door as of family source consultants or the
(52:23):
antent appearance. But at the end of the day, like
women are pretty amazing, right, and we need to celebrate
one another rather than picking each other apart.
Speaker 4 (52:35):
You know, and just not being supportive.
Speaker 3 (52:39):
And so here we are and I'm looking forward to
you know, she decides collection.
Speaker 4 (52:44):
It started out as she decides started.
Speaker 3 (52:47):
The company with the jewelry line and you know, accessories.
Speaker 4 (52:51):
And it's it's and on collection. We're going to do
big things. So I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
That's awesome. Is that why you asked me for my address?
I think Kara asked me for my address. I'm gonna
expect to see something in the mail from she. Yes,
that would be awesome. And and I'm going to put
an hashtag happy eighty eight challenge. I did it on
(53:18):
Monday for something else, which was you know, being one
with your food and the deliciousness of life. But in
the spirit of this, if you put down a post
and uh, this is something that men do very well
as well, is they'll say, did you see what so
and so did, and they naturally promote, right their colleague
(53:43):
or whatever. Women very rarely. And and I have to say,
you know, since she interviewed me, she's been all over
my social like like like like, and that's so nice, right,
And that's she's practicing what she teaches. So how eighty
eight challenge from today is want you to in your
(54:04):
post or in your story, whatever it is, promote a
friend of yours, Promote this podcast, promote Stacy's podcast or collection,
and just put hashtag eighty eight Happy eighty eight. And
when I see it, I will gift you with something
from my collection, whether it's a song or an audiobook
copy of my number one bestseller, and and we'll see it.
(54:29):
And I'd like to donate one of those to you, Stacy.
I'll send you a free audiobook of the Eight Ways Happiness,
because yeah, this is a it's a habit we have
to get in the habit of supporting other women and
quipping so working caddie, it really is.
Speaker 3 (54:48):
Yeah, And think about like you see anybody a celebrity.
Let's just use any celebrity, right, and you have the
whole world liking their posts, right, they have millions of likes.
But then here you you have a friend or a
neighbor that's maybe they have a little small business right
into them, it's everything and they're putting their heart and
soul into it. And you don't acknowledge that. You just
(55:10):
don't think to acknowledge it. But you'll go and like,
I don't know, Taylor switching right, you know what I mean.
So yes, let's let's let's let's attach.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
That energy from us. Yes, take that good local or local.
Speaker 4 (55:24):
Absolutely and your friends.
Speaker 3 (55:26):
And like I said, women, and I also think that women,
you know, they have a lot of guilt they carry
around with them of you know, they want to start
a company and.
Speaker 4 (55:36):
Whatever it is. But then maybe they're they have.
Speaker 3 (55:37):
The children and they just you know, they're trying to
juggle it all and and so at the end of
the day, you also have to fill your own jug right,
you have to make yourself happy and you've got.
Speaker 4 (55:48):
To be good to yourself. So whatever makes.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
You happy, do that, do that oxygen mask. Yeah's where
you're never going to have anyone say to you. You know, darling,
you've done so much work, You've done so good, Go
take a load off. You know, you might pay someone
to do that. But the most important person to say
(56:11):
that is you. You know, give yourself permission. I take
one day off a month to do absolutely nothing, you know,
and that's my gift to me and I I did
the bike this morning. I'm like, good job, mama. I
have to if I do something I don't like to do,
I get to play candy Crush or Solitaire. Is it
(56:34):
feels good give yourself permission to love your own life
and give your race?
Speaker 4 (56:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (56:44):
Yeah, for sure. Oh well, this has been amazing. I've
had such a good time with you. My final word
you get forty four seconds. That's my eight eight. It's
a lucky number in Chinese. I know you thought I
was sweet, but everything's an eight. Well, forty four second
(57:04):
final word from Stacy.
Speaker 4 (57:06):
Oh goodness.
Speaker 3 (57:07):
My final word is just be true to yourself. Like
when we were sharing, be to yourself. Wake up with gratitude.
Try to wake up with gratitude every day and just
remember that everything stays consistent.
Speaker 4 (57:20):
If you're having a bad day, just work to change
it and the next day will be that much better.
Speaker 3 (57:26):
And yeah, just be grateful for every day and that
we have the opportunity in life with technology and just
everything at our fingertips.
Speaker 4 (57:37):
Just don't ever give up by.
Speaker 3 (57:38):
Your dream and that's really important to me, whether that
is having children or starting a business, whatever it may be.
Speaker 4 (57:45):
Don't ever give up. Surround yourself by like nine and
positive people.
Speaker 2 (57:49):
Awesome. You know the drill at the end of every show.
Peace fingers up. It's all about balance, peace in peace,
out world, peace through inner piece. Thanks so much Stacy
for being on my warm, not hot seat. And now
remember to go and have the best day ever. I'll
(58:11):
see youmorrow Doctors in the house with doctor tiffany date tomorrow.
I have the best day ever. Thanks Stacey.
Speaker 8 (58:27):
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