October 15, 2025 • 60 mins
KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa on Wed, 15 Oct, 2025
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Toffolved at exhausting amster wheel and into balanced living with
Doctor Marissa from Miss You Joy. Doctor Marissa, also known
as the Asian Oprah. Her mission to be a beneficial
presence on the planet, her purpose to be your personal advocate,
to live, lap love, learn, her life motto, don't die wondering,
(00:24):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurissa Pey.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
And oh, welcome your tune to take my advice, I'm
not using it. Get balanced with Doctor Marissa. Good Morning
show here on gayzaa NBC News, CNBC News at m.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
MBC Sports radio station AM ten fifty FM one oh
six point five home to the Asian Oprah Number one
Talk in the Ie, Thank you very much, and streaming everywhere.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, Tunent, in Audible, Amazon Music, Stiku, led
Rumble Boggies, You Speaker, Streaker and more.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Why so many places?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well, I want to maximize my spotter zone for more
hope and happiness. That's why I don't talk about headlines,
no politics, no religion, nothing that is going to If
it bleeds, it leads and leads you to say things
like what's wrong with people? And is the world going
to Hell? And ham askt Nope. Instead, I want you
(01:26):
to go, oh, wow, I didn't know that, and oh
isn't that interesting? And Oh that would definitely make me happier.
And that's why I've been doing this show for seven
hundred and one consecutive weeks.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
But who's counting?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
And why I have fabulous guests. Yesterday streaming in from Chicago,
Illinois was she decides podcast hosts, and I hope you
enjoyed that. Today, as you can see in studio, we
have the beautiful inside and out doctor Tiffany Tait, who
is my co host for the popular series called That
(02:01):
is in the house with myself.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
And doctor Tiffany Tate.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
She's a US Navy veteran, a published author, retired OBGYN
from Cotton, California. She's a playwright, singer, poet, songwriter, and moore.
She's a published author of many books, including important children's
book called Bad Touching, my favorite still because it takes
an area that's difficult to talk about but so important
(02:28):
with your kids and helps them through all of that.
And her latest and newest hat is being thrown into
the political arena running for Congress. She'll hear more about
that during the.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Break But in the meantime, welcome back to the show,
Doctor Tiffany day, Good morning everyone, and happy happy Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
And we're gonna start the way we usually do, which
is to have breakfast together and we take a bite
of my gratitude sandwich. Top of the bud. What are
some things that we're grateful for that are outside of ourselves?
At bottom of the bud, what we want you to
do before you go to bed tonight. What are some
things that you're grateful for inside of yourself? What do
(03:19):
you like about yourself? So, Doctor Tiffany, tell me what
are you grateful for?
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Well, I have had a very busy time since I
last saw you, and so I'm going to start with
yesterday because I'm just going to work my way backwards.
Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to go volunteer at
a local elementary school in a program that's called Vision
to Learn. I am a member of the Rotary Club
(03:45):
here in Riverside, and it's we do a lot of
things internationally, but also locally and at the local elementary school,
we perform vision exams for pre vision exams, and if
the students fill their screening test, there is a mobile
(04:10):
vision clinic that will perform a more detailed exam and
give them free eyeglasses.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Nice.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
So I hear form seven thirty in the morning shift.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Ye, I can't see that.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
I am grateful that my younger daughter, Sarah, whose birthday
is October nineteenth, and her adorable boyfriend Graham same name
as my bonus dad and his birthdays three days before that,
came down to celebrate with me.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And it's just been a lovely quick two day turn
three day turnover. But certainly I'm just like so loved,
loving and lovable in their presence and it's just been fabulous.
Doctor Tiffany knows, because you know, there's nothing like when
(05:09):
kids come home. Right, What are you grateful for?
Speaker 5 (05:14):
I am also grateful because on Sunday I did double duty.
I participated in the Belief Breast Cancer Walk and I
did it with my sorority sisters. And I have a
strong family history of breast cancer and I've had two
masses removed from my breast and I'm doing great. I
(05:38):
don't have any issues currently. He say, hallewey they got
And then after that, I want and participated with my
organization ser Optimism, of which I am on on the
board and we raised money with the Mad Hatter Tea
because we do a lot of programs in the community
serving women and girls. And that was wonderful because we
(06:00):
raised money for scholarships and I had a chance to
network within the community for my campaign educate people after
the event, because you know, you cannot co mingle, just
like the show. Absolutely, and so it was good to
(06:21):
network after the event. And Mia had the opportunity to
perform during the event.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Oh, I love MIA's voice. That's so wonderful. I am
grateful that. Wow, I had the most amazing weekend in
Vegas and what it's in Vegas, the states. In Vegas, however,
I will suffice to say that my longest running friend,
(06:49):
I've known her twenty eight years, maybe more, love her.
She's my sole example of anybody who says I'm capable
of intimate relationships. I'm like that proof. But anyway, she
had a birthday in Vegas and what a time with
her husband, her friends, and Wow, talk about a treat
(07:10):
first class. I felt like it was my birthday at
the Venetian and Wow, I'm just just so grateful. And
I got to reinvite to go back for New Year's.
So New Year's even just so excited and I live
a blessed life. Talk about you know, I feel like
I've turned the corner on the blood clots on, you know,
(07:34):
instead of thinking about all the things I can't do
because of the blood clot you know, I was able
to drive to Vegas instead of fly and you know,
I love driving. It was a nice reminder that I
was a race car driver and a former life and
so that was a lot of fun and I'm really
grateful for that opportunity.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
Well, I'm going to remember that you love driving, because
I prefer to be driven. So whenever we go somewhere,
I we'll call it. We'll call on you. Well, I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Well, you know, I it's funny because I have a
two seater and people go like it's a It's an
automatic way of excusing myself from having to take people
because nobody there's no back seat and my front seat
looks like someone lives in it because it's my office.
But for you, doctor Tiffany, we'll clean it up.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Privilege. Thank you, Thank you very much. And one more Okay,
And I had the opportunity to speak at the Democratic
club earlier, well, one of the Democratic clubs that I
hadn't spoken at before, and it was such a warm reception,
(08:49):
and they asked who had already gone to do calls
on behalf of Prop fifty, and it was nice because
I was the only person who had raised my hand
and I've already done like two of those advocating four
Prop fifty. And it was nice because my hand went
(09:10):
up like yay mee me, and so I felt very
proud of myself. I gave myself a.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yay me, yay me yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
And it was cute because when I was volunteering for
the school, that was what the teacher said to the kids.
They say, way to go meet, Way to go meet,
and I thought that that was so cute.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So a teacher, I know.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
I was like, that's good that she's teaching the children
to affirm themselves at such a young age. So I
was thinking, Okay, way to go me, way to go meet.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
That's so good, that's so good. My final gratitude is
I drove back. I stayed up and played craps because
that's my favorite game till five thirty in the morning,
and then made the birthday video six thirty went to bed,
checked out, ten thirty, drove into a mojong tournament. Now,
(10:08):
the first time I did the mojong tournament, it's new
house roles, and I sucked. I was fourth last out
of like thirty people, and I thought, after no sleep
and an entire weekend, I'm going to really suck, right.
I ended up doing so well that I went from
fourth last place to second place on the ladder that day.
(10:30):
So I was like, I think I need to come
to play when I'm really tired. That's say, that's the
learning from that. But what that's another definite bud cleut
silver lining is I've been really involved between Majong Underground
and East Never Loses and La Mojong Club. I'm grateful
(10:52):
to all three of those for making this time not
on tour enjoyable.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
For me.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's always, you know, because I'm just a tad competitive.
It's not whether you're want to lose, it's whether I
win or lose. So for that, I am totally grateful.
On top of them, Let's go to the bottom of
the bun, which is what do I like about myself?
And I'm so glad. Doctor Tiffany met a teacher who's
teaching that most of us in our generation, even though
(11:21):
we're hashtag ageless, we were told you're not all that.
Don't toot your own horn. As a result, we're looking
for love in all the right places or likes literally
on social media. And if you depend on other people
to give you your self worth, you're going to be
in trouble because they may love you one day and
then they don't love you the next day. So this
(11:42):
part of the exercise good life, have a hashtag discipline
is to force you to think about what you're good about.
So when you go to bed tonight, you're not thinking
about what you did wrong or who done you wrong. Instead,
you know what I am. I am able to find
(12:02):
wake up every morning and put my life jacket on
with a silver lining. And it's a choice that I
want to feel good as much as possible, So I
try to stay away from thoughts that don't make me
feel good, and for that, I appreciate myself. I've learned
how to do that, doctor, Tiffany, what do you like
about yourself?
Speaker 5 (12:23):
I like the fact that I play well in the sandbox.
What do you mean, Tiffany, Well, some people don't get
along well with others and they throw sand And I
believe that I get along well with others, and I
think that I can take constructive criticism. And that's why
(12:47):
I am running for Congress, because I know that when
patients came into the room, I never asked what your
political party was, I asked what your problem is. And
I know I am a problem solver, and I know
that no matter what the situation is, I can get
to the root of the problem, and I can work
(13:09):
for evaluating the problem and figuring out the problem and
solving the problem. And I know that I can play
well in the sandbox.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Very good. Good for you, not me. Well, it's funny
because when you first said patients, I went to the
P word that I don't have, not that kind of patience,
but the other kind of patience. But yeah, it took
me a second there. I appreciate that I may not
(13:39):
have that skill that doctor Tiffany has, and she definitely has,
and I definitely don't. I'm proud of that, as you
can tell. But I do have the ability to focus
on the solution and not the problem. I'm very very
good at not staying in the problem vibration very long
because I can find a solution from that vibration level,
(14:04):
not judging it, but just saying that you cannot find
a solution if you're staying in the problem. Just saying
one last one.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
And like she said, she does not have patience. I
am thankful that I do have patience. And that's why
I was awarded that Virtuous Woman of Patience award earlier
every year in that world, because I believe I do
have patience, and I think it takes patience in this world,
(14:40):
especially today, and I'm thankful for that.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Last time I prayed for patients, I got two teenage daughters.
That's why I have no patience. But what I do
have is a really good sense of humor and my
ability to find the funny in every situation. I think
it's a skill and I embrace that part of me.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
And that's it for breakfast.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Thanks for joining us. Whether you do this on your
own or with me every weekday morning, I'm hoping you
just do it because it will sandwich your day in
the most positive way. Thanks for joining us for breakfast
and no for the topic of the day. Hey, what
(15:38):
is it, doctor Tiffany need or greed?
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Need versus greed?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Hmmm, I feel the need for greed. That was a
very quick association when she gave me the topic on
it text yesterday. But why are we talking about needing?
Read doctor Tiffany.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
Well, we live in such an indulgent society, and I
have had people ask me questions about everything going on
in the world. And I have actually had parents talk
about finances and my book Money Matters, and how I
(16:32):
raised my children and kept them from being indulgent and
adults sometimes are indulgent and so and in light of
everything that's going on right now with the shutdown, and
I just figured this would just be a good topic
just to delve into it, because there's just so many
(16:55):
issues when we talk about needs and greed and when
we look at our own lives. So I just wanted
to personalize it because as we go about our everyday
life and we look at how we interact with one another,
it's just something to make you stop and go.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Hmmm, absolutely, okay, personal experience with need versus greed. If
you have eight cents worth of an opinion on this,
we'd love for you to chat with us unless you're driving.
(17:38):
Please do not chat with us if you're driving, Wait
till you get somewhere safe you can. I'm streaming live
as usual everywhere, LinkedIn, Facebook and show Central, which is
my YouTube TV channel. So please do you free subscribe,
(18:01):
give us the finger or the hearts and just play
along with us this morning. Doctor Tiffany always picks topics
that not always, but most of the time picks topics
that you know other places don't talk about. And so
these are all areas in which can affect our happiness,
can affect our relationships with ourselves most importantly, and others.
(18:25):
So yeah, we'd love to interact with you, So feel
free to go in the chat and talk about need
and greed. The where's that line?
Speaker 5 (18:38):
Okay? So I wanted to start with what a need is,
what a greed is and impose a couple of rhetorical
questions because need essentially refers to a requirement, something that's
needed for our survival, while greed is something excessive and
it's nothing that we actually is. It's something that's not
(19:02):
truly required, and so it's something that's insatiable as a desire,
such as wealth or a possession, so it can be power,
it's beyond a need. It's sometimes often self centered and
(19:22):
gratitude and it's something we often considered more than fair
or deserved. And I want us to think about the
last time we needed something or reflect on the fact
is wanting more always bad?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
M good question because we can think that we need something, right,
I really need that dress. I need that dress, I
need those shoes, I need that car, I need that car,
I need that house, I need that guy, I need
(20:07):
that Right. All that need is it really need. That's
what struck me is I have a very strong need picker,
and it is if I think one of the goals
I had when I was younger was I want to
make enough money that I don't have to look at
(20:29):
the price tag. Right, That is was my goal. Right,
It wasn't a certain amount of money, but enough money
where it really didn't matter what that price tag was
that would qualify as greed, right because go ahead, Well I.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
Was going to say, I don't necessarily say it would
be greed, okay, getting yeah, yeah, I think that does
let you off the hook because is if you're not
necessarily being excessive, and that I think that's the key
distinction when you're looking at how the need versus greed goes,
(21:14):
because it is you know, I said, it's wanting more
always bad, and you can't say always. It's not always
bad and it's not necessarily bad. Because when does success
become selfish?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
And why is selfish such a bad word? That one
of my big things is to be more selfish because
when you're completely unselfish, you're gonna kill yourself. You know,
that whole codependency, right, I don't want to, you know,
(21:49):
put the oxygen on everybody else and not so. So
there is that point with which I think we do
need more than we allow ourselves to have.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
Well, I think I think it can become selfish when
it hurts other people, and that's where the need versus
greed steps in. When it hurts other people, that is
the distinction, because it's like, okay, am I my brother's keeper. Well,
(22:23):
you don't necessarily have to go out of your way,
per se, but you don't want to harm other people
in the process, And I think that is the distinction.
You don't necessarily need to step on other people their head,
their necks, their backs, their toes in the process. So
(22:44):
if you can figure out a way to achieve your
success independently without causing harm, that's great. And when you
are spending as long as you don't even harm yourself.
Think that that is an important process because you don't
want to overspend. Because I was talking to someone and
(23:09):
when I was saying, oh, I think I'm going to
do this show, she's like, oh, joy spending. I said, yes,
that is that is a good thing because you do
get that dopamine rush and you do get the fulfillment.
She's like, I love joy spending. I said, yeah, that
could be a show.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I like that. I like that. That's that's actu week. Yes, yes,
I've never heard that expression before. Is that like retail therapy?
Speaker 5 (23:38):
Yes, that that is retail therapy. Okay, okay, yeah, we
might do that one closer to the holidays. Yeah. So,
but I know that at the present time, people are
suffering right now, and there's a distinction between the neat
the haves and the have not and that need and
(24:02):
that greed, and there's this big dichotomy and everybody is like, well,
I don't want this person to have this and I
don't want that person to have that. And it's interesting.
I always refer back to Nathaniel when we were growing
up and he was in elementary school and he came
home from school and he was like, Mama, am I rich?
(24:22):
And I went and I'm like, no, you are not rich.
You don't have a job, and you don't have a house.
You have nothing. And I have a job and I
have a house, and you have got to get your
own someday. I let you live in my house and
(24:44):
I feed you and I close you, and you need
to remember that. And I still remind him of that
till this day.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah. Yeah, I mean this is a giant ball of
you know, complicated strands of thought too, because it touches
on the all, you know, the socialism. Everybody should have
everything the same, and nobody should have any more than others,
and wealth should be shared versus that whole divide between
(25:14):
the have and have nots. And that sounds political, so
that more so.
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Talking about my children, my children now yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
No, no, no, no, no, I'm not I'm not saying you.
I'm saying the balance in that is important for all
of us. I wasn't even you know, approaching the political
aspect of it. I'm saying that it sounds political, but
it's not political. It is truly a bs A belief
system that we all have to kind of you know,
(25:46):
re examine and I love talking about this in the
sense that we come in with this thought societal family,
that it's a fixed pie, that there's not enough to
go around. That leads to either the polar opposite, you know,
(26:06):
help everyone equal, communism, socialism, or capitalism have and have nots,
And for me, it's neither that because it's my bs,
my belief system. There's more than enough food in the
world for everyone, there's more than enough cleaning water for everyone,
There's more than enough everything for everyone. And by taking
(26:29):
myself out of that paradigm is the work. It's not
spending my life trying to give everything to those who
have not. Does that make sense?
Speaker 5 (26:41):
Yeah? Absolutely. And it's interesting because someone said, well, how
did you teach your children about, you know, their needs
versus their wants? And I said, well, I would give
them an allowance and a lot of times when we
would go shopping, they would forget their money right, and
so I would say, okay, I no worries. I will
(27:01):
give you a loan and I will pay for this
toy or whatever it is you want, but when we
get home, you will give it back to me. All
of a sudden they no longer needed it, not that
they want it, because it was no longer mom's money.
It was their money that they had to spend, so right,
(27:26):
so it was no longer a necessity for them. All
of a sudden, they no longer needed it. So it
was interesting because they needed it when it was mom's money.
But when it turned out that it was my children's money,
the need miraculously disappeared.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Interesting. And one of the books that she has behind
her is called Money Matters, and it's a great book
to give you a little pluck here to teach kids
about money management and you know, teaching them their uh,
the importance of what you can do for yourself, I
(28:11):
think number one. And to that whole it's a it's
a it's an energy right that we can all make.
And and I think it's particularly useful for all of
us to remember that when you lose a job, it
doesn't take away all of the experience and the ability
(28:31):
like you've known you you've known how to make money
in the past, so whatever job you're at. We had
this discussion at dinner yesterday, you know, with the fear
of losing a job. My daughter's boyfriend was talking about
you know, the politics and whatever, and it's like, you're
(28:52):
always going to have that in an organization. There's only
one organization that has not favoritism, politics, miscommunication, conflict. That's
the cemetery. So wherever you're working, you're going to have that.
But even if it's a worst case scenario, you think
it's worst case scenario, you get fired, It's like, no,
you've got skills and abilities. You can go anywhere. That's
(29:13):
the thing about you know, our society and thinking about
the way we think about money, the way we think
about ourselves is is so limited. You know, like you
were talking about stepping on the back and the neck
and the you know that dogg eat dog and climb
your way up. And it's just such an unhappy making
(29:33):
construct and BS belief system that that's I'm glad we're
talking about this because it relates one hundred.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
That absolutely, and what if we helped each other instead
of hurt each other. What a mind blowing experience that
would be mm hm.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
With the balance of that that that great. That it's
better to teach someone how to fish than just to
continuously supply them the fish, I mean absolutely that that
is in play. It as well, and I'm looking at
the clockt it is time to take a break for news, weather, traffic,
and to work from our sponsor Don't Go Away. You
(30:20):
are tuned in too, that is in the house with myself.
Speaker 5 (30:23):
And doctor Tiffany Tate.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Will be right back into and to piece in, piece out.
Don't go Away, We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Take back your life with doctor Maurice.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
Hello. My name is doctor Tiffany Tate. I am a
veteran officer of the United States Navy, retired board certified
obg YN, and I am running for the United States
House of Representatives in California's forty first district. Please visit
my website at doctor Tate for Congress that is d
(31:15):
R T A T E F O R C O
N G R E S S dot com. You can
learn more about me and my campaign. As a veteran,
I understand your needs and I will fight for your rights.
As a obg yn, I understand healthcare and I will
(31:36):
fight for policies to improve all of your needs. And
as an American citizen, I will represent you and I
will advocate for you. Please learn more about me and
consider making a donation to my campaign. Help me help
you again. My name is doctor Tiffany Tate and I
(31:57):
am running to represent you. Please visit my website at
doctor Tate for Congress again. That is d R T
A T E F O R C O N G
R E S S dot com. Help me help you,
paid for by doctor Tate for Congress dot com.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurice.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
And We're back. You're tending to take my advice, I'm
not using it. Get balance with Doctor Marissa the Morning Show.
You're on kz A a home to the Asian Oprah
NBC News Radio a m DEN fifty f M one
oh six point five and streaming everywhere I Heart Radio,
Spotify and of course my YouTube TV channel which contains
(32:58):
all one thousand and four hundred and ninety one podcast shows.
But who's counting over the seven hundred and one consecutive
weeks on the air on camera. So glad those who
said I wouldn't last year, we're wrong. And we just
continue to bring you topics, guests and special series to
(33:20):
up level your hope and happiness. And today, as you
can tell in studio, we have the illustrious doctor Oops Doctors.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
In the house with myself and doctor Tiffany Tate.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Welcome back. And we've been talking about need and greed.
I feel the need for greed. And when you say
I need something, do you really need it? And that's
what I would tell my children when they say, Mom,
(33:56):
I really need that, And I said, and I said
to them, why do you think you need that? Well,
I just needed to know. If you can convince me
that this is really something that is going to positively
impact your present and future, I will consider it. And
(34:19):
then they'll say, but you know I need this because
everybody else at school has one, and I go, that's
not a good enough reason. Then they said, well, it'll
help me do better in class because it will help
me get to the answer to do better on tests.
(34:43):
Recovering tiger Mom, that will probably lead me to say yes.
But teaching your kids and certainly yourself to distinguish between
need and greed is a useful exercise.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Oh absolutely. And then I have a question for you,
you and everyone else listening, is consumer culture feeding greed?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Of course? I think? Of course. I overheard someone at
the store yesterday on their phone, which drives me crazy.
I mean, I don't mind if you're on your phon
a side note, I don't mind if you're on your phone,
just don't put it on speaker.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
You know.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Anyways, so they were talking about, you know, this is
so expensive, or I shouldn't buy this because Christmas Holidays
is coming and I need to save my money for
and that's a very consumer driven holiday. It's become that
now the intent behind giving people something to express their love.
(35:50):
That's okay. I think that that's a good thing.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
But to.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Like to take away money that you might need to
say for a rainy day or for your healthcare, or
your your future, or your your school, whatever the you know,
the value add in the longer run, longer term gain. Right, Yeah,
I think that that hurts us the whole. You know what,
(36:20):
can I go out and buy on Black Friday, on
Cyber Monday, on where Boxing Day was born in Canada?
That yeah, I think that that definitely goes to greed,
even if it's for someone else.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Yeah, there's always this promotion of this constant craving, this
constant novelty, and it's always saying purchase me, purchase this,
rush and go get that, and it's always diverting our
focus and it's like, look over here look over there,
bye bye bye get get get. And there's always this
(37:01):
digital stimulation as well, And this constant consumer culture is
always stretching, this perpetual acquisition of buy me, get me,
and the digital technology makes it easy. I can say
I'm guilty of all these Amazon packages coming to my door.
(37:24):
I have to raise my hand and say that unts me.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
So the butt stops right over there.
Speaker 5 (37:33):
Right, so I can say that, yes, me and my tribe,
where we are all guilty here in New Jersey. I
see the bill, and so what the question is? Are
you satisfied with it? Do you want to change it?
(37:56):
And are you fulfilling need? Or are you are you
being a tap it greedy? Only you can answer that question.
I can't answer it for you. Doctor Marissa cannot answer.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
It for you.
Speaker 7 (38:09):
This is.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Okay. We've got an echo going. Do you want to
check your mic?
Speaker 5 (38:18):
No, that's been good.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
I haven't had I don't know we were we were
until right now. So let me just check mine. If
you can turn your volume down just a time, maybe
that's it. But the greed and need of the immediate
(38:41):
what I want. So I was talking on Monday about
the law of attraction and if you think about all
the things that you want, right, whether it falls a needer, well, no,
it falls in the greed thing. Let's go there. So
I want that fan, snazzy car, I want that a
(39:02):
new little toy. I want an outfit right that is
just stunning? Or that pair of shoes? Why do you
want that or need that? And and one hundred percent
of the time you need that because or want that
because you think that by having it you will be happier. Really,
(39:25):
bottom line, don't you want and need things because you
think that they're going to bring you some modicum of
feel good? Really? I mean, it's just as simple as that.
So then the question becomes do I have to wait
until I have that to feel good? And the answer
(39:46):
is no, you don't. Is it possible to feel good
without that thing? And that's how I stop myself from
buying everything that I have some impulse that I I
think I need. Is I go, okay? Can I give
myself that feeling, that same feeling of oh without actually
(40:10):
spending the money. I carry a one hundred dollars bill
in my wallet. I've been doing it for the last
ten years as a direct result of listening to Abraham
Hicks and the idea of abundance. Right, everybody has not everybody, sorry,
most of us have in this country. Food in our fridge,
(40:33):
gas in our car, and some money in our wallet.
Right and one hundred dollars I put in my wallet?
Why because I say I want that, I can afford that.
I never say I can't afford that, And yet I
hear that all the time, I don't have enough money
for that, I can't afford that. And that continues your
(40:54):
lack and limitation and a poor con institution or your bis,
your belief system. It feeds into that. But if I say, instead,
I could buy that, but I don't need to buy that.
I can feel good right now without that, that's the ticket, man.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
That is.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Joy. What were you saying? Joy shopping? Joy shopping is
right without spending the money. What do you think about that,
doctor Tiffany, I think.
Speaker 5 (41:31):
That that is one way to look at it, because
when you think about it, there's social media and the
comparison culture. It just feeds into that need for acquisition.
And when you decide to purchase something, you have this
(41:52):
feeling of satisfaction that you've acquired and you get this
happiness and it may be fleeting, it may be temporary,
but you do have happiness. And so you have this
escapism and you have this fleeting pleasure. And I think
that when you carry that money around and you spend it,
(42:15):
as long as you replenish it, you can start the
process all over again. And when we decide that we're
going to shop, as long as we shop wisely and
we spend wisely, and again you're not hurting yourself, keep
yourself or hurting others. I think it's fine. We are
adults and we can operate within the spectrum of being adults.
(42:39):
And when we spend our own money or money given
to us, we are perpetuating American society. We're keeping people
at work and we're keeping America rolling. That's what I
always say. I'm doing my part.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I'm helping somebody have a job.
Speaker 5 (42:59):
Right, I'm keeping America at one.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
It's all It's all about balance. It's all about balance.
Gotta get find that center ground. It reminds me of
this commercial, Doctor Tiffin. I don't think I've ever told
you this. There was this commercial years and years ago.
A woman in bed and the camera pans in and
you know, her face is like looking at the other
(43:24):
side of the bed on the pillow, but you don't
see what's on the pillow, and she's just like she
is in this blissful right expression on her face, and
you can tell like she's very happy. And so you
think the camera's gonna pan out and you see this
gorgeous guy or something like that, right, and it pans
(43:45):
out it's a pair of shoes better on the pillow
that she's like so happy about. And the reason why
I brought that up is that fleeting is really if
we if we're honest with ourselves, the last time you
said I really need that outfit, I really need that outfit,
(44:06):
I really need that shoe. I really need those things
and you buy them. How many days of fulfillment joy
did you really get from that? From what you use
money wise? And if I'm honest with myself, the most
(44:28):
I get from that thing that I you know, I
needed it like I needed breath, right two days? I mean,
you can't wear it two days in a row, right,
and then it goes in the closet, right. And if
you forget so even in a car, a car's what
a month before it it's no longer giving you that
(44:51):
joy a house a year before things start breaking down,
you have to pay for it. So the s the
shelf life of happiness on acquisitions on things that you
need is also something to consider.
Speaker 5 (45:10):
Yeah, absolutely, And you have to realize that you are
replacing that acquisition and that doing with stillness and creativity
because sometimes we need to be still. We need to
see what other things we can be doing. And what
about your relationships with other people? You want to spend
(45:33):
time with people. Now, sometimes you spend time with people shopping,
and you can foster relationships that way, but you don't
want to forego your relationships with people, and you don't
want to focus on material gains over genuine connections because
we are people who benefit from interactions with other people.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
The consumer not all, but there is. If you're not
buying for other people and you're buying for yourself and
it's a constant buy, it is trying to fill, right,
You're filling some deep need for satisfaction with things that
are temporary. So if that sounds like you and you're
(46:23):
not happy about that, then it you know, it might
be time to really look at what am I trying
to satisfy? Buy buying all these things, whether it's for yourself.
And conversely, if you're buying things for other people, are
you trying to buy the relationship or are you trying
to buy the approval or love? You know, that whole
(46:48):
world of codependency that I'm so familiar with. You know,
I went to the tractor looking for milk for a
long time, and gift giving is one of those areas
where it's one of the surefire signs that you are
trying to make a connection using money or things instead
(47:15):
of recognizing that maybe you're in a relationship that you know,
you're just not going to get milk from that tractor
no matter what you give them, right, you're not helping
them by giving them stuff, not helping yourself.
Speaker 5 (47:33):
Absolutely, And I think that when we look at the
dichotomy of need and greed, we want to try to
optimize our engagement because when we interact with other people,
we can improve the quality of our relationships. And I
(48:01):
think it's important to realize that connection is key and
sometimes we can again take them along with us, or
we can just spend time with them. And I know
when I was growing up, I always valued quality time
(48:24):
and that is my love language. And I think it's
important to know what your love language is now. If
your love language is receiving gifts, I think it's important
to talk about that with whomever your partner is. And
if your love language is giving gifts, I think if
you're a shopper, hey, that's great for you. But when
(48:45):
you're talking about needs and greed, you need to just
reflect on where you stand and how you want that
to interplay in your life and not let it overtake
your life.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
Yeah. Absolutely, Uh, We've got a quiet cashier gallery this morning.
But if you are tuned in this is take my advice.
I'm not using a gip palace with Doctor Meurs of
the morning show on KCAA NBC News Radio, And this
is Doctor's in the House with myself and doctor Tiffany
(49:19):
Tit and it's always on Wednesdays, and Doctor Tiffany always
picks topics for us to mull over to see how
it can help and hurt our happiness and our sense
of well being. And need and greed is the topic today.
And I know that I have you know, you know,
(49:43):
as a psychologist, growing up with Maslow's hierarchy of need
and hierarchy of uh, you know what is really necessary?
And uh, I think we've touched on this without actually
you know, labeling it, but the whole obviously food, water, right,
(50:04):
those physical needs are important, right, But I think what
we're also talking about today is that need for self love,
self realization, self actualization, self esteem, self in relationship to
(50:24):
others and that intimate relationship that's also important. Yeah, that
just came to me, and we have.
Speaker 5 (50:31):
To realize and acknowledge and the fomo, the fear of
missing out.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
Oh yeah, I got that bad. Yes, especially now with
the blood clot and I can't fly.
Speaker 5 (50:45):
And so the human brain is wired for desire and
scarcity and we just have to put that moose on
the table, nop, And so we yes, and so right now,
especially with social media, a lot of people post a
lot of stuff. They make their lives seem so glamorous.
(51:08):
And I intentionally do not post a lot of stuff
that I do because I don't want people saying, oh,
she thinks she's this, Oh she thinks she's that, because
a lot of people already think that about me. So
I intentionally do not post a lot of the stuff
that I do because I know that there are haters
out there, and I don't want them doing more hating
(51:31):
than they need to. So I want us to have
a more and a greater environment of love, love, respect,
and trust, because that is how we truly make America great.
If we can truly love, respect and uplift one another,
and that is how we can reach each other, build
(51:54):
each other up, and uplift one another and get over
our fomo fear of missing out and let go of
our of our greed and assist each other with their needs.
And I think that that is significant. And I came
(52:15):
across a quote by Mahatma Gandhi and it says there
is a sufficiency in the world for man's need, but
not for man's greed. That was so astounding. I'm going
to say it again. There is a sufficiency in the
(52:38):
world for man's need, but not for man's greed. And
I believe that one hundred percent. Just like doctor Marrisa said,
there is an abundance in the world for everything and
for everybody. We just have to spread it out and
proportionately divide it to make sure that everybody is able
(53:05):
to get with any m M.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Yeah, that's a fundamental BS belief system that if I
get something, you can't have it, or if you have it,
I can't get it. And that's such Bulshitaki. I use
breath as an example. When I take a breath. Did
you see doctor Tiffany like fallover because I took her air? No,
(53:35):
I didn't take anything from anyone. It's more than enough.
And when we come from that place, Yeah, I think
we'll have world peace. I think that we'll have that
human kind emphasis on kind. But as long as we
believe that you know, they have more than us, or
I want to show that I have more than you,
(53:56):
we're going to be stuck in that and in that
is greed, that is that now neative side of need.
But I know that I I and when I'm in solution,
I can further and do my part in distributing the whole,
(54:19):
you know, make sure that everyone has more than enough. Yeah,
it is, it is, certainly. I don't think I'm going
to see in this lifetime. But brother Ishmael Ttey, who's
also one of my teachers, he said, you know, I
think we can have world peace in one generation if
(54:41):
we teach our children that there is more more than
enough in the world, and that what I do in
an effort to help myself and others is going to
mitigate or change the way we think about how you know,
we can positively impact each other. But if we keep
(55:06):
focusing on I'm going to kill that person who I
think is doing evil, Like I'll never forget that one
movie where they killed someone like Osama bin Laden and
his kids were witnessed to that. What did we just do?
We think that we eliminated evil, but we just created
(55:29):
the vicious cycle of I just watched you kill my father,
I'm going to come and kill you, and so on
and so on and so on.
Speaker 5 (55:41):
Absolutely, and so my final thought, and I want people
to just think about this, is greed always bad or
does it depend on the context? And I want to
challenge you to reflect on this. What do you need
versus is what do you want? And as you think
(56:04):
about your life, think about how can I achieve my
needs without being greedy and hurting someone else in the
process of doing it. We can always achieve our needs
without hurting other people in the process.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
Yeah, my final word is need or greed? Are you
filling a hole in yourself that only you can fill?
That the things, people, places and things are not able
to do you fundamentally know that you are enough because
I do know that you are enough. That's it. Great
(56:50):
show as usual, Doctor Tiffany. We're doing our sign out.
It's all about balance, peace out, world peace through inner piece.
Take us out, Doctor Tiffany.
Speaker 5 (57:02):
Now go and have the best day ever.
Speaker 8 (57:17):
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Speaker 8 (59:42):
Hey you yeah, you do? You know where you are? Well,
you've done it. Now. You're listening to Caseyaa Loma Linda,
your CNBC news station, so expect the unexpected.
Speaker 9 (01:00:03):
You're listening to the Tahibo Tea Club radio show hosted
by Milan Bukovic, founder of the Tehibo Tea cu
Toffolved at exhausting amster wheel and into balanced living with
Doctor Marissa from Miss You Joy. Doctor Marissa, also known
as the Asian Oprah. Her mission to be a beneficial
presence on the planet, her purpose to be your personal advocate,
to live, lap love, learn, her life motto, don't die wondering,
(00:24):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurissa Pey.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
And oh, welcome your tune to take my advice, I'm
not using it. Get balanced with Doctor Marissa. Good Morning
show here on gayzaa NBC News, CNBC News at m.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
MBC Sports radio station AM ten fifty FM one oh
six point five home to the Asian Oprah Number one
Talk in the Ie, Thank you very much, and streaming everywhere.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, Tunent, in Audible, Amazon Music, Stiku, led
Rumble Boggies, You Speaker, Streaker and more.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Why so many places?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well, I want to maximize my spotter zone for more
hope and happiness. That's why I don't talk about headlines,
no politics, no religion, nothing that is going to If
it bleeds, it leads and leads you to say things
like what's wrong with people? And is the world going
to Hell? And ham askt Nope. Instead, I want you
(01:26):
to go, oh, wow, I didn't know that, and oh
isn't that interesting? And Oh that would definitely make me happier.
And that's why I've been doing this show for seven
hundred and one consecutive weeks.
Speaker 5 (01:37):
But who's counting?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
And why I have fabulous guests. Yesterday streaming in from Chicago,
Illinois was she decides podcast hosts, and I hope you
enjoyed that. Today, as you can see in studio, we
have the beautiful inside and out doctor Tiffany Tait, who
is my co host for the popular series called That
(02:01):
is in the house with myself.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
And doctor Tiffany Tate.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
She's a US Navy veteran, a published author, retired OBGYN
from Cotton, California. She's a playwright, singer, poet, songwriter, and moore.
She's a published author of many books, including important children's
book called Bad Touching, my favorite still because it takes
an area that's difficult to talk about but so important
(02:28):
with your kids and helps them through all of that.
And her latest and newest hat is being thrown into
the political arena running for Congress. She'll hear more about
that during the.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Break But in the meantime, welcome back to the show,
Doctor Tiffany day, Good morning everyone, and happy happy Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
And we're gonna start the way we usually do, which
is to have breakfast together and we take a bite
of my gratitude sandwich. Top of the bud. What are
some things that we're grateful for that are outside of ourselves?
At bottom of the bud, what we want you to
do before you go to bed tonight. What are some
things that you're grateful for inside of yourself? What do
(03:19):
you like about yourself? So, Doctor Tiffany, tell me what
are you grateful for?
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Well, I have had a very busy time since I
last saw you, and so I'm going to start with
yesterday because I'm just going to work my way backwards.
Yesterday I had the wonderful opportunity to go volunteer at
a local elementary school in a program that's called Vision
to Learn. I am a member of the Rotary Club
(03:45):
here in Riverside, and it's we do a lot of
things internationally, but also locally and at the local elementary school,
we perform vision exams for pre vision exams, and if
the students fill their screening test, there is a mobile
(04:10):
vision clinic that will perform a more detailed exam and
give them free eyeglasses.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Nice.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
So I hear form seven thirty in the morning shift.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Ye, I can't see that.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
I am grateful that my younger daughter, Sarah, whose birthday
is October nineteenth, and her adorable boyfriend Graham same name
as my bonus dad and his birthdays three days before that,
came down to celebrate with me.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And it's just been a lovely quick two day turn
three day turnover. But certainly I'm just like so loved,
loving and lovable in their presence and it's just been fabulous.
Doctor Tiffany knows, because you know, there's nothing like when
(05:09):
kids come home. Right, What are you grateful for?
Speaker 5 (05:14):
I am also grateful because on Sunday I did double duty.
I participated in the Belief Breast Cancer Walk and I
did it with my sorority sisters. And I have a
strong family history of breast cancer and I've had two
masses removed from my breast and I'm doing great. I
(05:38):
don't have any issues currently. He say, hallewey they got
And then after that, I want and participated with my
organization ser Optimism, of which I am on on the
board and we raised money with the Mad Hatter Tea
because we do a lot of programs in the community
serving women and girls. And that was wonderful because we
(06:00):
raised money for scholarships and I had a chance to
network within the community for my campaign educate people after
the event, because you know, you cannot co mingle, just
like the show. Absolutely, and so it was good to
(06:21):
network after the event. And Mia had the opportunity to
perform during the event.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Oh, I love MIA's voice. That's so wonderful. I am
grateful that. Wow, I had the most amazing weekend in
Vegas and what it's in Vegas, the states. In Vegas, however,
I will suffice to say that my longest running friend,
(06:49):
I've known her twenty eight years, maybe more, love her.
She's my sole example of anybody who says I'm capable
of intimate relationships. I'm like that proof. But anyway, she
had a birthday in Vegas and what a time with
her husband, her friends, and Wow, talk about a treat
(07:10):
first class. I felt like it was my birthday at
the Venetian and Wow, I'm just just so grateful. And
I got to reinvite to go back for New Year's.
So New Year's even just so excited and I live
a blessed life. Talk about you know, I feel like
I've turned the corner on the blood clots on, you know,
(07:34):
instead of thinking about all the things I can't do
because of the blood clot you know, I was able
to drive to Vegas instead of fly and you know,
I love driving. It was a nice reminder that I
was a race car driver and a former life and
so that was a lot of fun and I'm really
grateful for that opportunity.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
Well, I'm going to remember that you love driving, because
I prefer to be driven. So whenever we go somewhere,
I we'll call it. We'll call on you. Well, I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Well, you know, I it's funny because I have a
two seater and people go like it's a It's an
automatic way of excusing myself from having to take people
because nobody there's no back seat and my front seat
looks like someone lives in it because it's my office.
But for you, doctor Tiffany, we'll clean it up.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Privilege. Thank you, Thank you very much. And one more Okay,
And I had the opportunity to speak at the Democratic
club earlier, well, one of the Democratic clubs that I
hadn't spoken at before, and it was such a warm reception,
(08:49):
and they asked who had already gone to do calls
on behalf of Prop fifty, and it was nice because
I was the only person who had raised my hand
and I've already done like two of those advocating four
Prop fifty. And it was nice because my hand went
(09:10):
up like yay mee me, and so I felt very
proud of myself. I gave myself a.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yay me, yay me yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
And it was cute because when I was volunteering for
the school, that was what the teacher said to the kids.
They say, way to go meet, Way to go meet,
and I thought that that was so cute.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
So a teacher, I know.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
I was like, that's good that she's teaching the children
to affirm themselves at such a young age. So I
was thinking, Okay, way to go me, way to go meet.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
That's so good, that's so good. My final gratitude is
I drove back. I stayed up and played craps because
that's my favorite game till five thirty in the morning,
and then made the birthday video six thirty went to bed,
checked out, ten thirty, drove into a mojong tournament. Now,
(10:08):
the first time I did the mojong tournament, it's new
house roles, and I sucked. I was fourth last out
of like thirty people, and I thought, after no sleep
and an entire weekend, I'm going to really suck, right.
I ended up doing so well that I went from
fourth last place to second place on the ladder that day.
(10:30):
So I was like, I think I need to come
to play when I'm really tired. That's say, that's the
learning from that. But what that's another definite bud cleut
silver lining is I've been really involved between Majong Underground
and East Never Loses and La Mojong Club. I'm grateful
(10:52):
to all three of those for making this time not
on tour enjoyable.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
For me.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's always, you know, because I'm just a tad competitive.
It's not whether you're want to lose, it's whether I
win or lose. So for that, I am totally grateful.
On top of them, Let's go to the bottom of
the bun, which is what do I like about myself?
And I'm so glad. Doctor Tiffany met a teacher who's
teaching that most of us in our generation, even though
(11:21):
we're hashtag ageless, we were told you're not all that.
Don't toot your own horn. As a result, we're looking
for love in all the right places or likes literally
on social media. And if you depend on other people
to give you your self worth, you're going to be
in trouble because they may love you one day and
then they don't love you the next day. So this
(11:42):
part of the exercise good life, have a hashtag discipline
is to force you to think about what you're good about.
So when you go to bed tonight, you're not thinking
about what you did wrong or who done you wrong. Instead,
you know what I am. I am able to find
(12:02):
wake up every morning and put my life jacket on
with a silver lining. And it's a choice that I
want to feel good as much as possible, So I
try to stay away from thoughts that don't make me
feel good, and for that, I appreciate myself. I've learned
how to do that, doctor, Tiffany, what do you like
about yourself?
Speaker 5 (12:23):
I like the fact that I play well in the sandbox.
What do you mean, Tiffany, Well, some people don't get
along well with others and they throw sand And I
believe that I get along well with others, and I
think that I can take constructive criticism. And that's why
(12:47):
I am running for Congress, because I know that when
patients came into the room, I never asked what your
political party was, I asked what your problem is. And
I know I am a problem solver, and I know
that no matter what the situation is, I can get
to the root of the problem, and I can work
(13:09):
for evaluating the problem and figuring out the problem and
solving the problem. And I know that I can play
well in the sandbox.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Very good. Good for you, not me. Well, it's funny
because when you first said patients, I went to the
P word that I don't have, not that kind of patience,
but the other kind of patience. But yeah, it took
me a second there. I appreciate that I may not
(13:39):
have that skill that doctor Tiffany has, and she definitely has,
and I definitely don't. I'm proud of that, as you
can tell. But I do have the ability to focus
on the solution and not the problem. I'm very very
good at not staying in the problem vibration very long
because I can find a solution from that vibration level,
(14:04):
not judging it, but just saying that you cannot find
a solution if you're staying in the problem. Just saying
one last one.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
And like she said, she does not have patience. I
am thankful that I do have patience. And that's why
I was awarded that Virtuous Woman of Patience award earlier
every year in that world, because I believe I do
have patience, and I think it takes patience in this world,
(14:40):
especially today, and I'm thankful for that.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Last time I prayed for patients, I got two teenage daughters.
That's why I have no patience. But what I do
have is a really good sense of humor and my
ability to find the funny in every situation. I think
it's a skill and I embrace that part of me.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
And that's it for breakfast.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Thanks for joining us. Whether you do this on your
own or with me every weekday morning, I'm hoping you
just do it because it will sandwich your day in
the most positive way. Thanks for joining us for breakfast
and no for the topic of the day. Hey, what
(15:38):
is it, doctor Tiffany need or greed?
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Need versus greed?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Hmmm, I feel the need for greed. That was a
very quick association when she gave me the topic on
it text yesterday. But why are we talking about needing?
Read doctor Tiffany.
Speaker 5 (16:07):
Well, we live in such an indulgent society, and I
have had people ask me questions about everything going on
in the world. And I have actually had parents talk
about finances and my book Money Matters, and how I
(16:32):
raised my children and kept them from being indulgent and
adults sometimes are indulgent and so and in light of
everything that's going on right now with the shutdown, and
I just figured this would just be a good topic
just to delve into it, because there's just so many
(16:55):
issues when we talk about needs and greed and when
we look at our own lives. So I just wanted
to personalize it because as we go about our everyday
life and we look at how we interact with one another,
it's just something to make you stop and go.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Hmmm, absolutely, okay, personal experience with need versus greed. If
you have eight cents worth of an opinion on this,
we'd love for you to chat with us unless you're driving.
(17:38):
Please do not chat with us if you're driving, Wait
till you get somewhere safe you can. I'm streaming live
as usual everywhere, LinkedIn, Facebook and show Central, which is
my YouTube TV channel. So please do you free subscribe,
(18:01):
give us the finger or the hearts and just play
along with us this morning. Doctor Tiffany always picks topics
that not always, but most of the time picks topics
that you know other places don't talk about. And so
these are all areas in which can affect our happiness,
can affect our relationships with ourselves most importantly, and others.
(18:25):
So yeah, we'd love to interact with you, So feel
free to go in the chat and talk about need
and greed. The where's that line?
Speaker 5 (18:38):
Okay? So I wanted to start with what a need is,
what a greed is and impose a couple of rhetorical
questions because need essentially refers to a requirement, something that's
needed for our survival, while greed is something excessive and
it's nothing that we actually is. It's something that's not
(19:02):
truly required, and so it's something that's insatiable as a desire,
such as wealth or a possession, so it can be power,
it's beyond a need. It's sometimes often self centered and
(19:22):
gratitude and it's something we often considered more than fair
or deserved. And I want us to think about the
last time we needed something or reflect on the fact
is wanting more always bad?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
M good question because we can think that we need something, right,
I really need that dress. I need that dress, I
need those shoes, I need that car, I need that car,
I need that house, I need that guy, I need
(20:07):
that Right. All that need is it really need. That's
what struck me is I have a very strong need picker,
and it is if I think one of the goals
I had when I was younger was I want to
make enough money that I don't have to look at
(20:29):
the price tag. Right, That is was my goal. Right,
It wasn't a certain amount of money, but enough money
where it really didn't matter what that price tag was
that would qualify as greed, right because go ahead, Well I.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
Was going to say, I don't necessarily say it would
be greed, okay, getting yeah, yeah, I think that does
let you off the hook because is if you're not
necessarily being excessive, and that I think that's the key
distinction when you're looking at how the need versus greed goes,
(21:14):
because it is you know, I said, it's wanting more
always bad, and you can't say always. It's not always
bad and it's not necessarily bad. Because when does success
become selfish?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
And why is selfish such a bad word? That one
of my big things is to be more selfish because
when you're completely unselfish, you're gonna kill yourself. You know,
that whole codependency, right, I don't want to, you know,
(21:49):
put the oxygen on everybody else and not so. So
there is that point with which I think we do
need more than we allow ourselves to have.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
Well, I think I think it can become selfish when
it hurts other people, and that's where the need versus
greed steps in. When it hurts other people, that is
the distinction, because it's like, okay, am I my brother's keeper. Well,
(22:23):
you don't necessarily have to go out of your way,
per se, but you don't want to harm other people
in the process, And I think that is the distinction.
You don't necessarily need to step on other people their head,
their necks, their backs, their toes in the process. So
(22:44):
if you can figure out a way to achieve your
success independently without causing harm, that's great. And when you
are spending as long as you don't even harm yourself.
Think that that is an important process because you don't
want to overspend. Because I was talking to someone and
(23:09):
when I was saying, oh, I think I'm going to
do this show, she's like, oh, joy spending. I said, yes,
that is that is a good thing because you do
get that dopamine rush and you do get the fulfillment.
She's like, I love joy spending. I said, yeah, that
could be a show.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I like that. I like that. That's that's actu week. Yes, yes,
I've never heard that expression before. Is that like retail therapy?
Speaker 5 (23:38):
Yes, that that is retail therapy. Okay, okay, yeah, we
might do that one closer to the holidays. Yeah. So,
but I know that at the present time, people are
suffering right now, and there's a distinction between the neat
the haves and the have not and that need and
(24:02):
that greed, and there's this big dichotomy and everybody is like, well,
I don't want this person to have this and I
don't want that person to have that. And it's interesting.
I always refer back to Nathaniel when we were growing
up and he was in elementary school and he came
home from school and he was like, Mama, am I rich?
(24:22):
And I went and I'm like, no, you are not rich.
You don't have a job, and you don't have a house.
You have nothing. And I have a job and I
have a house, and you have got to get your
own someday. I let you live in my house and
(24:44):
I feed you and I close you, and you need
to remember that. And I still remind him of that
till this day.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah. Yeah, I mean this is a giant ball of
you know, complicated strands of thought too, because it touches
on the all, you know, the socialism. Everybody should have
everything the same, and nobody should have any more than others,
and wealth should be shared versus that whole divide between
(25:14):
the have and have nots. And that sounds political, so
that more so.
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Talking about my children, my children now yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
No, no, no, no, no, I'm not I'm not saying you.
I'm saying the balance in that is important for all
of us. I wasn't even you know, approaching the political
aspect of it. I'm saying that it sounds political, but
it's not political. It is truly a bs A belief
system that we all have to kind of you know,
(25:46):
re examine and I love talking about this in the
sense that we come in with this thought societal family,
that it's a fixed pie, that there's not enough to
go around. That leads to either the polar opposite, you know,
(26:06):
help everyone equal, communism, socialism, or capitalism have and have nots,
And for me, it's neither that because it's my bs,
my belief system. There's more than enough food in the
world for everyone, there's more than enough cleaning water for everyone,
There's more than enough everything for everyone. And by taking
(26:29):
myself out of that paradigm is the work. It's not
spending my life trying to give everything to those who
have not. Does that make sense?
Speaker 5 (26:41):
Yeah? Absolutely. And it's interesting because someone said, well, how
did you teach your children about, you know, their needs
versus their wants? And I said, well, I would give
them an allowance and a lot of times when we
would go shopping, they would forget their money right, and
so I would say, okay, I no worries. I will
(27:01):
give you a loan and I will pay for this
toy or whatever it is you want, but when we
get home, you will give it back to me. All
of a sudden they no longer needed it, not that
they want it, because it was no longer mom's money.
It was their money that they had to spend, so right,
(27:26):
so it was no longer a necessity for them. All
of a sudden, they no longer needed it. So it
was interesting because they needed it when it was mom's money.
But when it turned out that it was my children's money,
the need miraculously disappeared.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Interesting. And one of the books that she has behind
her is called Money Matters, and it's a great book
to give you a little pluck here to teach kids
about money management and you know, teaching them their uh,
the importance of what you can do for yourself, I
(28:11):
think number one. And to that whole it's a it's
a it's an energy right that we can all make.
And and I think it's particularly useful for all of
us to remember that when you lose a job, it
doesn't take away all of the experience and the ability
(28:31):
like you've known you you've known how to make money
in the past, so whatever job you're at. We had
this discussion at dinner yesterday, you know, with the fear
of losing a job. My daughter's boyfriend was talking about
you know, the politics and whatever, and it's like, you're
(28:52):
always going to have that in an organization. There's only
one organization that has not favoritism, politics, miscommunication, conflict. That's
the cemetery. So wherever you're working, you're going to have that.
But even if it's a worst case scenario, you think
it's worst case scenario, you get fired, It's like, no,
you've got skills and abilities. You can go anywhere. That's
(29:13):
the thing about you know, our society and thinking about
the way we think about money, the way we think
about ourselves is is so limited. You know, like you
were talking about stepping on the back and the neck
and the you know that dogg eat dog and climb
your way up. And it's just such an unhappy making
(29:33):
construct and BS belief system that that's I'm glad we're
talking about this because it relates one hundred.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
That absolutely, and what if we helped each other instead
of hurt each other. What a mind blowing experience that
would be mm hm.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
With the balance of that that that great. That it's
better to teach someone how to fish than just to
continuously supply them the fish, I mean absolutely that that
is in play. It as well, and I'm looking at
the clockt it is time to take a break for news, weather, traffic,
and to work from our sponsor Don't Go Away. You
(30:20):
are tuned in too, that is in the house with myself.
Speaker 5 (30:23):
And doctor Tiffany Tate.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Will be right back into and to piece in, piece out.
Don't go Away, We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Take back your life with doctor Maurice.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
Hello. My name is doctor Tiffany Tate. I am a
veteran officer of the United States Navy, retired board certified
obg YN, and I am running for the United States
House of Representatives in California's forty first district. Please visit
my website at doctor Tate for Congress that is d
(31:15):
R T A T E F O R C O
N G R E S S dot com. You can
learn more about me and my campaign. As a veteran,
I understand your needs and I will fight for your rights.
As a obg yn, I understand healthcare and I will
(31:36):
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as an American citizen, I will represent you and I
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(31:57):
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Speaker 1 (32:30):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurice.
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And We're back. You're tending to take my advice, I'm
not using it. Get balance with Doctor Marissa the Morning Show.
You're on kz A a home to the Asian Oprah
NBC News Radio a m DEN fifty f M one
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(32:58):
all one thousand and four hundred and ninety one podcast shows.
But who's counting over the seven hundred and one consecutive
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continue to bring you topics, guests and special series to
(33:20):
up level your hope and happiness. And today, as you
can tell in studio, we have the illustrious doctor Oops Doctors.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
In the house with myself and doctor Tiffany Tate.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Welcome back. And we've been talking about need and greed.
I feel the need for greed. And when you say
I need something, do you really need it? And that's
what I would tell my children when they say, Mom,
(33:56):
I really need that, And I said, and I said
to them, why do you think you need that? Well,
I just needed to know. If you can convince me
that this is really something that is going to positively
impact your present and future, I will consider it. And
(34:19):
then they'll say, but you know I need this because
everybody else at school has one, and I go, that's
not a good enough reason. Then they said, well, it'll
help me do better in class because it will help
me get to the answer to do better on tests.
(34:43):
Recovering tiger Mom, that will probably lead me to say yes.
But teaching your kids and certainly yourself to distinguish between
need and greed is a useful exercise.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Oh absolutely. And then I have a question for you,
you and everyone else listening, is consumer culture feeding greed?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Of course? I think? Of course. I overheard someone at
the store yesterday on their phone, which drives me crazy.
I mean, I don't mind if you're on your phon
a side note, I don't mind if you're on your phone,
just don't put it on speaker.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
You know.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Anyways, so they were talking about, you know, this is
so expensive, or I shouldn't buy this because Christmas Holidays
is coming and I need to save my money for
and that's a very consumer driven holiday. It's become that
now the intent behind giving people something to express their love.
(35:50):
That's okay. I think that that's a good thing.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
But to.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Like to take away money that you might need to
say for a rainy day or for your healthcare, or
your your future, or your your school, whatever the you know,
the value add in the longer run, longer term gain. Right, Yeah,
I think that that hurts us the whole. You know what,
(36:20):
can I go out and buy on Black Friday, on
Cyber Monday, on where Boxing Day was born in Canada?
That yeah, I think that that definitely goes to greed,
even if it's for someone else.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
Yeah, there's always this promotion of this constant craving, this
constant novelty, and it's always saying purchase me, purchase this,
rush and go get that, and it's always diverting our
focus and it's like, look over here look over there,
bye bye bye get get get. And there's always this
(37:01):
digital stimulation as well, And this constant consumer culture is
always stretching, this perpetual acquisition of buy me, get me,
and the digital technology makes it easy. I can say
I'm guilty of all these Amazon packages coming to my door.
(37:24):
I have to raise my hand and say that unts me.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
So the butt stops right over there.
Speaker 5 (37:33):
Right, so I can say that, yes, me and my tribe,
where we are all guilty here in New Jersey. I
see the bill, and so what the question is? Are
you satisfied with it? Do you want to change it?
(37:56):
And are you fulfilling need? Or are you are you
being a tap it greedy? Only you can answer that question.
I can't answer it for you. Doctor Marissa cannot answer.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
It for you.
Speaker 7 (38:09):
This is.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Okay. We've got an echo going. Do you want to
check your mic?
Speaker 5 (38:18):
No, that's been good.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
I haven't had I don't know we were we were
until right now. So let me just check mine. If
you can turn your volume down just a time, maybe
that's it. But the greed and need of the immediate
(38:41):
what I want. So I was talking on Monday about
the law of attraction and if you think about all
the things that you want, right, whether it falls a needer, well, no,
it falls in the greed thing. Let's go there. So
I want that fan, snazzy car, I want that a
(39:02):
new little toy. I want an outfit right that is
just stunning? Or that pair of shoes? Why do you
want that or need that? And and one hundred percent
of the time you need that because or want that
because you think that by having it you will be happier. Really,
(39:25):
bottom line, don't you want and need things because you
think that they're going to bring you some modicum of
feel good? Really? I mean, it's just as simple as that.
So then the question becomes do I have to wait
until I have that to feel good? And the answer
(39:46):
is no, you don't. Is it possible to feel good
without that thing? And that's how I stop myself from
buying everything that I have some impulse that I I
think I need. Is I go, okay? Can I give
myself that feeling, that same feeling of oh without actually
(40:10):
spending the money. I carry a one hundred dollars bill
in my wallet. I've been doing it for the last
ten years as a direct result of listening to Abraham
Hicks and the idea of abundance. Right, everybody has not everybody, sorry,
most of us have in this country. Food in our fridge,
(40:33):
gas in our car, and some money in our wallet.
Right and one hundred dollars I put in my wallet?
Why because I say I want that, I can afford that.
I never say I can't afford that, And yet I
hear that all the time, I don't have enough money
for that, I can't afford that. And that continues your
(40:54):
lack and limitation and a poor con institution or your bis,
your belief system. It feeds into that. But if I say, instead,
I could buy that, but I don't need to buy that.
I can feel good right now without that, that's the ticket, man.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
That is.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Joy. What were you saying? Joy shopping? Joy shopping is
right without spending the money. What do you think about that,
doctor Tiffany, I think.
Speaker 5 (41:31):
That that is one way to look at it, because
when you think about it, there's social media and the
comparison culture. It just feeds into that need for acquisition.
And when you decide to purchase something, you have this
(41:52):
feeling of satisfaction that you've acquired and you get this
happiness and it may be fleeting, it may be temporary,
but you do have happiness. And so you have this
escapism and you have this fleeting pleasure. And I think
that when you carry that money around and you spend it,
(42:15):
as long as you replenish it, you can start the
process all over again. And when we decide that we're
going to shop, as long as we shop wisely and
we spend wisely, and again you're not hurting yourself, keep
yourself or hurting others. I think it's fine. We are
adults and we can operate within the spectrum of being adults.
(42:39):
And when we spend our own money or money given
to us, we are perpetuating American society. We're keeping people
at work and we're keeping America rolling. That's what I
always say. I'm doing my part.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I'm helping somebody have a job.
Speaker 5 (42:59):
Right, I'm keeping America at one.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
It's all It's all about balance. It's all about balance.
Gotta get find that center ground. It reminds me of
this commercial, Doctor Tiffin. I don't think I've ever told
you this. There was this commercial years and years ago.
A woman in bed and the camera pans in and
you know, her face is like looking at the other
(43:24):
side of the bed on the pillow, but you don't
see what's on the pillow, and she's just like she
is in this blissful right expression on her face, and
you can tell like she's very happy. And so you
think the camera's gonna pan out and you see this
gorgeous guy or something like that, right, and it pans
(43:45):
out it's a pair of shoes better on the pillow
that she's like so happy about. And the reason why
I brought that up is that fleeting is really if
we if we're honest with ourselves, the last time you
said I really need that outfit, I really need that outfit,
(44:06):
I really need that shoe. I really need those things
and you buy them. How many days of fulfillment joy
did you really get from that? From what you use
money wise? And if I'm honest with myself, the most
(44:28):
I get from that thing that I you know, I
needed it like I needed breath, right two days? I mean,
you can't wear it two days in a row, right,
and then it goes in the closet, right. And if
you forget so even in a car, a car's what
a month before it it's no longer giving you that
(44:51):
joy a house a year before things start breaking down,
you have to pay for it. So the s the
shelf life of happiness on acquisitions on things that you
need is also something to consider.
Speaker 5 (45:10):
Yeah, absolutely, And you have to realize that you are
replacing that acquisition and that doing with stillness and creativity
because sometimes we need to be still. We need to
see what other things we can be doing. And what
about your relationships with other people? You want to spend
(45:33):
time with people. Now, sometimes you spend time with people shopping,
and you can foster relationships that way, but you don't
want to forego your relationships with people, and you don't
want to focus on material gains over genuine connections because
we are people who benefit from interactions with other people.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
The consumer not all, but there is. If you're not
buying for other people and you're buying for yourself and
it's a constant buy, it is trying to fill, right,
You're filling some deep need for satisfaction with things that
are temporary. So if that sounds like you and you're
(46:23):
not happy about that, then it you know, it might
be time to really look at what am I trying
to satisfy? Buy buying all these things, whether it's for yourself.
And conversely, if you're buying things for other people, are
you trying to buy the relationship or are you trying
to buy the approval or love? You know, that whole
(46:48):
world of codependency that I'm so familiar with. You know,
I went to the tractor looking for milk for a
long time, and gift giving is one of those areas
where it's one of the surefire signs that you are
trying to make a connection using money or things instead
(47:15):
of recognizing that maybe you're in a relationship that you know,
you're just not going to get milk from that tractor
no matter what you give them, right, you're not helping
them by giving them stuff, not helping yourself.
Speaker 5 (47:33):
Absolutely, And I think that when we look at the
dichotomy of need and greed, we want to try to
optimize our engagement because when we interact with other people,
we can improve the quality of our relationships. And I
(48:01):
think it's important to realize that connection is key and
sometimes we can again take them along with us, or
we can just spend time with them. And I know
when I was growing up, I always valued quality time
(48:24):
and that is my love language. And I think it's
important to know what your love language is now. If
your love language is receiving gifts, I think it's important
to talk about that with whomever your partner is. And
if your love language is giving gifts, I think if
you're a shopper, hey, that's great for you. But when
(48:45):
you're talking about needs and greed, you need to just
reflect on where you stand and how you want that
to interplay in your life and not let it overtake
your life.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
Yeah. Absolutely, Uh, We've got a quiet cashier gallery this morning.
But if you are tuned in this is take my advice.
I'm not using a gip palace with Doctor Meurs of
the morning show on KCAA NBC News Radio, And this
is Doctor's in the House with myself and doctor Tiffany
(49:19):
Tit and it's always on Wednesdays, and Doctor Tiffany always
picks topics for us to mull over to see how
it can help and hurt our happiness and our sense
of well being. And need and greed is the topic today.
And I know that I have you know, you know,
(49:43):
as a psychologist, growing up with Maslow's hierarchy of need
and hierarchy of uh, you know what is really necessary?
And uh, I think we've touched on this without actually
you know, labeling it, but the whole obviously food, water, right,
(50:04):
those physical needs are important, right, But I think what
we're also talking about today is that need for self love,
self realization, self actualization, self esteem, self in relationship to
(50:24):
others and that intimate relationship that's also important. Yeah, that
just came to me, and we have.
Speaker 5 (50:31):
To realize and acknowledge and the fomo, the fear of
missing out.
Speaker 2 (50:39):
Oh yeah, I got that bad. Yes, especially now with
the blood clot and I can't fly.
Speaker 5 (50:45):
And so the human brain is wired for desire and
scarcity and we just have to put that moose on
the table, nop, And so we yes, and so right now,
especially with social media, a lot of people post a
lot of stuff. They make their lives seem so glamorous.
(51:08):
And I intentionally do not post a lot of stuff
that I do because I don't want people saying, oh,
she thinks she's this, Oh she thinks she's that, because
a lot of people already think that about me. So
I intentionally do not post a lot of the stuff
that I do because I know that there are haters
out there, and I don't want them doing more hating
(51:31):
than they need to. So I want us to have
a more and a greater environment of love, love, respect,
and trust, because that is how we truly make America great.
If we can truly love, respect and uplift one another,
and that is how we can reach each other, build
(51:54):
each other up, and uplift one another and get over
our fomo fear of missing out and let go of
our of our greed and assist each other with their needs.
And I think that that is significant. And I came
(52:15):
across a quote by Mahatma Gandhi and it says there
is a sufficiency in the world for man's need, but
not for man's greed. That was so astounding. I'm going
to say it again. There is a sufficiency in the
(52:38):
world for man's need, but not for man's greed. And
I believe that one hundred percent. Just like doctor Marrisa said,
there is an abundance in the world for everything and
for everybody. We just have to spread it out and
proportionately divide it to make sure that everybody is able
(53:05):
to get with any m M.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Yeah, that's a fundamental BS belief system that if I
get something, you can't have it, or if you have it,
I can't get it. And that's such Bulshitaki. I use
breath as an example. When I take a breath. Did
you see doctor Tiffany like fallover because I took her air? No,
(53:35):
I didn't take anything from anyone. It's more than enough.
And when we come from that place, Yeah, I think
we'll have world peace. I think that we'll have that
human kind emphasis on kind. But as long as we
believe that you know, they have more than us, or
I want to show that I have more than you,
(53:56):
we're going to be stuck in that and in that
is greed, that is that now neative side of need.
But I know that I I and when I'm in solution,
I can further and do my part in distributing the whole,
(54:19):
you know, make sure that everyone has more than enough. Yeah,
it is, it is, certainly. I don't think I'm going
to see in this lifetime. But brother Ishmael Ttey, who's
also one of my teachers, he said, you know, I
think we can have world peace in one generation if
(54:41):
we teach our children that there is more more than
enough in the world, and that what I do in
an effort to help myself and others is going to
mitigate or change the way we think about how you know,
we can positively impact each other. But if we keep
(55:06):
focusing on I'm going to kill that person who I
think is doing evil, Like I'll never forget that one
movie where they killed someone like Osama bin Laden and
his kids were witnessed to that. What did we just do?
We think that we eliminated evil, but we just created
(55:29):
the vicious cycle of I just watched you kill my father,
I'm going to come and kill you, and so on
and so on and so on.
Speaker 5 (55:41):
Absolutely, and so my final thought, and I want people
to just think about this, is greed always bad or
does it depend on the context? And I want to
challenge you to reflect on this. What do you need
versus is what do you want? And as you think
(56:04):
about your life, think about how can I achieve my
needs without being greedy and hurting someone else in the
process of doing it. We can always achieve our needs
without hurting other people in the process.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
Yeah, my final word is need or greed? Are you
filling a hole in yourself that only you can fill?
That the things, people, places and things are not able
to do you fundamentally know that you are enough because
I do know that you are enough. That's it. Great
(56:50):
show as usual, Doctor Tiffany. We're doing our sign out.
It's all about balance, peace out, world peace through inner piece.
Take us out, Doctor Tiffany.
Speaker 5 (57:02):
Now go and have the best day ever.
Speaker 8 (57:17):
CACAA Loma Linda, your CNBC news station where your business
comes first.
Speaker 7 (57:25):
And now the voices of ACAA was an exciting announcement.
Want to hear NBC and News or KCAA anywhere you go, Well,
now there's an app for that. CACAA.
Speaker 9 (57:35):
You is celebrating twenty five years in our silver anniversary
with a brand new app.
Speaker 2 (57:40):
The new KCAA app is now available on your smart device,
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Speaker 5 (57:47):
Just search KCAA on Google Play or in the Apple Store.
Speaker 7 (57:50):
One touch and you can listen on your car radio,
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KCAA buzz in your earbuds or on the streets.
Speaker 9 (57:59):
Any twenty five years of talk news and excellence with
our new KCAA app.
Speaker 7 (58:04):
Just do it and download it. KCAA celebrating twenty five years.
This segment is sponsored by my Hero. My Hero sub sandwiches.
That is, in these days and in these times, and
especially at lunch, everyone needs a hero somewhere to enjoy
(58:24):
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They cater too, be safe, not sorry, don't drink and dry.
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Speaker 8 (59:42):
Hey you yeah, you do? You know where you are? Well,
you've done it. Now. You're listening to Caseyaa Loma Linda,
your CNBC news station, so expect the unexpected.
Speaker 9 (01:00:03):
You're listening to the Tahibo Tea Club radio show hosted
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