October 20, 2025 • 60 mins
KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa on Mon, 20 Oct, 2025
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Jump off at exhausting amster wheel and into balance. Living
with Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
From Miss Joy.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
The Doctor Marissa, also known as the Asian Oprah. Her
mission to be a beneficial presence on the planet, her
purpose to be your personal advocate, to live, lap love, learn,
her life motto, don't die wondering, Take back your life
with Doctor Maurica pay.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
And welcome. You're tuned into my I was gonna say weekly.
It's a daily, every weekday morning my show about openhappiness
called take My Advice. I'm not using it to get
balanced with Sacha Versa The Morning Show here on KCYAA,
NBC News, CNBC News and NBC Sports Radio station AM
(00:58):
ten fifty f one oh six point five and streaming
everywhere iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, Tunent, in Audible, Amazon Music, Tikula, Rumbull, Puncheser, Streaker, Speaker,
and more. Why so many places, Well, I wanted to
balance out all the bad news out there with some
good news. So if you're looking for the headlines, you
(01:20):
will not find them here. Why there are so many places? Actually,
every other place that I know of has the news,
which is actually the old It's already happened and I
will probably bet you at least a dollar that it
is not good news. Producers love to you know, if
(01:40):
it bleeds, it leads to get you up and atam
with the what is wrong with people? And the shock
and off factor or the you know, get you into
that jump right into fear and worry and anxiety every
single morning. That's what they do because the fault of
the media, but the fault of our own it's actually
(02:03):
not a fault, is not a right or wrong, but
it's just not useful to start your day with things
that upset you. Eighty five percent of all diagnoses these
days in the doctor's office, I am told are they
will say it's stress that is creating the symptoms that
(02:24):
you're feeling. So even though I'm not a medical doctor,
I do actually have one coming on the show today,
a very special interview about keeping healthy in this season
that we'll get to right after breakfast today with Doctor V. However,
I have been giving you for the past seven hundred
(02:45):
and two consecutive weeks. I love Monday because that makes
me update the counter. And yes, I didn't have a
chance to look at the impression number, but I know
that we cross that four million thresh hold on my
YouTube TV channel, and I'm so grateful that all those
(03:05):
who said I wouldn't last a year, we're wrong, because
we're well into our thirteenth year. May first, twenty twelve
was my first show, and now we'll be coming up
on show podcast number one thousand and five hundred coming
(03:25):
up very soon. I believe it's next Tuesday when I
will be celebrating fifteen hundred four King shows, and I
can't wait to have you meet the guests that will
celebrate this momentous milestone with me. You'll know her. You've
watched her if you're a Netflix fan, if you watch
(03:47):
The Dahmer disturbing but very fascinating true story about Jeffrey Dahmer.
She was his grandma, and she's an actress that has
been timeline less ageless Michael learned. She was also you
know you saw her if you're ageless like I am.
(04:09):
On The Waltons, she was the mom Missus Walton. So yeah,
she will be here at Live in Studio to help
me celebrate fifteen hundred shows. That is October the twenty first,
which is a week from tomorrow, So please do keep
it here. You might as well, just start with mental
(04:30):
health Mondays Mondy Mondy. If you woke up and said
what time is it or what day is it? Like
I did, I'm a good show to keep the marker
on because every single day I have a special series
and that's what today is. Tomorrow is Tuesday Talent and
I have the one and only Brenda Lee Eger coming in.
(04:54):
She's a musician extraordinary that I know as Maya Goape sister.
And Wednesday is Doctors in the House with m D
Doctor Doctor Tiffany Tate. Thursdays is Throwback Thursdays on the
second and fourth, and on the first and third, which
it will be is Mark Simon my newest series every
(05:18):
first and third Thursday with It'll be second and fourth
Thursday on the NBC News radio channel casey AA and
on the other platforms, but live on my YouTube TV channel.
He is beating cancer with nutrition, which is a great information,
great information for anybody who knows anybody, which is pretty
(05:39):
much everybody who knows someone who's touched by cancer and
in a holistic way to be cancer. So that's Thursday's.
Fridays is my fun straight talk. Those of you who
enjoy Ricky Rebel and James Hawthorne. They swap out every
other weekend, and the irony is it's called straight talk
(05:59):
as we put the moose on the table, which is
my Canadian version of talking about the elephant in the room.
And they both keep it very entertaining considering they're both
not straight. So we talk about relationships and dating and
all kinds of fun stuff that I get a little
naughty because it's Friday and we're going into the weekend Monday,
(06:21):
I get serious again, not so naughty, and that is today.
So that's my first gratitude is the way I start
every show, which is taking a bite of my gratitude sandwich.
Top of the button is things that we're grateful for
outside of ourselves, and bottom of the butt is things
(06:42):
that we're grateful for inside of ourselves, what we appreciate.
And I want you to do that before you go
to bed tonight, so you're not falling asleep angry or
worried or shoulting on yourself. I should have done this,
I should have not, I forgot to do this, or
I'm really not all that, and it's a horrible way
you will not get a good night's sleep. And so
(07:04):
that's why we take a bite of the gratitude damage
every single morning, and that's how we're going to start.
Right now. If you're in studio, I see eyeballs coming in.
Welcome to the show. Please, if as long as you're
not driving, put in the chat which you're grateful for
this morning, and that's how we're going to start. And
I already gave you at least three gratitudes. One coming
(07:26):
up on one five hundred podcast shows, seven hundred and
two consecutive weeks on the air on camera, with which
I will give myself a little love. Y'all know, I
like to practice what I teach and affirm what is
(07:49):
good in my life. The other one is, oh I'm
a little I am. I had a very good day
yesterday because y'all know, well, you know, I go to
a gop bag, which is where I get my positive
roots watered and my peace of mind fertilized. And I
got to see my big brother, Michael Bernard beck With
(08:12):
and give him his winnings from Vegas. I asked him
what number he wanted me to put a dollar on,
and I put it on thirty four and a hit,
so he got his thirty six dollars. I think thirty
five dollars. I had to take the original dollar round.
But of his winnings for Vegas and I do love
(08:36):
Mayagape and my big brother and I'm grateful. Also after
that that, I went to Chinatown and participated in my
first Hong Kong style modjra in tournament. Now y'all know,
Thursday nights, I get to go and play with my
new group of friends. Majong Underground is and they are packed.
(09:01):
So I'm not even gonna tell you where it is.
Dom kidding it's at generally is give them a little love.
That is a great it's helping revive Chinatown obviously my
Chinese roots. But we had a tournament yesterday where there
were I want to say, like ten tables so times
for forty ish people maybe more. And we participated in
(09:26):
three rounds of play and then the top four made
it to the final round and guess who was number
one in that race to get to that final table.
And then the final table I played and guess who
won that. I do love to win, so you and
(09:49):
they had a cute belt. I'm going to put the
social up today, but I wanted a title belt. For
Hong Kong style Jong champion at my Jong underg So
I'm gonna give myself some love again because I think
the only thing I love better than playing majong is
(10:11):
winning at majong, because y'all know, just a tad competitive.
It's not whether you're winner lose, it's whether I win
or lose. But seriously, it was so much fun and
I just love my new friends. And I started my
own majohn club called Mojong Beaches because I'm on the beach,
(10:31):
get it week week No, not thank you for that, heart.
I We get together once a month and get to
play at my place and we're on round three coming
up next weekend, and it's just a wonderful collection of people,
especially since I honestly I got involved in all three
(10:53):
mojong groups La Mojong, I get to play Taiwan style majong,
and I'm actually I've been asked to put together an
online course teaching how to play majong both styles, so
I'm working on that one right now. And also a
direct result of not going where I was supposed to
(11:16):
go as planned. You all know I was supposed to
be gone. You weren't even supposed to see what. I
was going to take a hiatus from the show to
travel my book Eight Ways to Happiness from wherever you are.
By the way today, since it is Monday, Monday, you
get a free audiobook copy of this bestseller. Who's a
(11:37):
national bestseller and number one Amazon when he came out
Eight Ways to Happiness.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
And I was.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Supposed to go back on tour that was cut short
by COVID. I was in China actually with the book,
and I was in Wuhan in November of twenty nineteen,
and yeah, on the last plane that took off before
(12:05):
they started instituting the taking temperatures before the flight, and
I swear I did not bring COVID here. In fact,
I have been tested. I've never had COVID. NA Gong
would and I'm grateful for that. But I was supposed
to go back on tour Africa to run Africa, Canada, Ireland, Hawaii,
(12:28):
three Islands, Shanghai, Taiwan for the rest of this year.
And two days before the first flight they found blood cluts,
so they grounded me and I was very sad for
a little bit. Could could not start the day without crying,
which is good tears of the disaffect that they keep
(12:51):
your heart soft, and it was important for me to
move through that process. But I am explaining all this
because Majong has saved my assets as a place to
feel creative and fun and a place to focus instead
(13:15):
of thinking about what I've lost with the grounding of
the tour. With the end of the tour, really, I'm
not allowed to fly in that kind of a schedule
ever again because of the near fatal two DVTs that
they found, which is the second violation. I had one
in nineteen ninety six with a pulmonary embolism, So no
(13:37):
more traveling like that, and that was a very bitter
pill to swallow. And I know that they say that
when one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes it's
hell in allway. So I've been moving through that. Thank
you so much for all the supportive messages that y'all
who follow me for the long time now on my
(13:59):
social have been so kind. And I'm moving through it,
and I know everything happens for my divine and best good.
But definitely Mojong has replaced sailboat racing as my passion.
That's another thing I had to end because I'm on
lifetime blood thinner now and it's too dangerous to go
(14:20):
out and race. So there's the story. And I am
truly grateful coming full circle to the three Mojong groups.
The other one is I say, Mojong Underground, La Mojong
and East never loses. So the three of them have
kept me very, very active and happy. I'm gonna there's
(14:44):
a generational Mojong that I'll be going to, but stay
tuned for the lessons that I'm going to actually put online.
So anybody, because I've been asked that so much, now,
please teach me. I used to actually start joylock clubs
in the South Bay in when I lived in Hermosa
(15:07):
Beach down in Seal Beach, when I raised my kids
there because it's it's a wonderful activity that you can
all participate in, and it also celebrates my Chinese roots,
which are very important. I know my grandfather was very
happy yesterday. He's on the other side in heaven. He
was an avid mojoon player and he he was happy
(15:30):
that I won that tournament. All right, that's good for gratitudes. Oh.
I am grateful that the very wonderful Catalina Jazz Festival
is full underway. You know, I did Doctor Mercer reporting
live there last weekend. Please do go to jazz tracks
(15:50):
dot com to get tickets for this coming weekend. I
did already give the tickets away that Art Good was
kind enough to give me for my Asian Oprah giveaway.
But if you go and meet Tracy at the box
office this next weekend and say doctor Mersa sent me
with the Asian Oprah giveaway, she'll give you ten dollars
(16:11):
off a ticket, So please do go take advantage of that.
And then finally another gratitude. It is season four Newport Beach.
I was gonna say Fashion Island. It starts with enough.
It's called the Film Festival and I am the very
(16:33):
proud sponsor for the Chinese Spotlight Film. This year it's
the Hong Kong Spotlight Film again. So you'll see me there.
Come join me at the Newport Beach Film Festival. Opening
night is this Thursday and it runs for a week
and I will be there with my microphone on the
red carpet. And who knows, I met Gosh Tony Hawk
(16:58):
one year. I I got to one of my first years.
I got to flash Piece with Pierce Brosnan for the
second time, so that photo is on my website. Actually,
it's a good time to sort of show that if
you go to my website. First of all, if you
go to my website and want the audiobook copy of
(17:20):
my book, you just go down scroll to the bottom
and there is here contact. Put in your name, your
email asian over giveaway or Mondays and I'll know that
you would like a free audiobook copy today only on Mondays.
And then if you go back to the top and
this red Carpet playlist, you will see some people you
(17:44):
may recognize. There's Jimmy Kimmel and Layla Ali and Stevie
Wonder and Halle Berry, all these beautiful people that I've
had a chance to meet and flash piece with and
get soundbites with an interview beloved Quincy Jones, who's on
the other side. There's Larry Namer. He's coming back on
(18:06):
the show. He's the founder of I Entertainment. We forgive
him for that. And the picture that I'm looking for.
There's my big brother, Michael is.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
There's another from my Newport Beach Film Festival. I re
met him. I actually shared a stage with James T.
Kirk from Star Trek. There's Rich little there's Manny Pacio,
there's the Temptations and Don Miguel Ruiz for Agreements. You
(18:37):
all know that one Temptations founder daughter, my beloved Aloon Carter,
her great son, and they've been on my show. There
he is. This is the reason why I show you,
Oh great guest, the first Abel what is the term? Anyway,
(19:00):
Pierce Prost's there. There's his wife who also was flashing
piece and I was talking about Jerry Jewel, who was
you'll remember her, love her piece and piece out to
her and she's been my guest multiple times. And actor
I want to I always want to say Richard Pryor.
Actually had Richard Pryor's son on the show a couple
(19:22):
of times. I'll have to get him back on. But
what is his name? Somebody's gonna help me. Have to
help me because I have great memory, but my recall sucks,
especially on Monday. But you'll know him from Richard. I
know it's Richard the actor. I think he was in
Dead Poet Society. Anyways, go on my website, Red Carver Playlist.
(19:50):
You'll see some great photos of people that you will recognize.
There's some teleodobious with my cost on Friday, Ricky Rebel,
Paula Abdul, and we could spend the a whole hour
looking at that, but we won't. But anyways, I am
so grateful that you know, we're going to be back
on stage with the New bart Beach Film Festival, and
(20:13):
I'll flash that up after break. All right, where are
we now? I am going to take a quick station
I D break, and when we come back, I'm going
to bring you the interview that I just did this
morning with doctor V with some tips on you know,
(20:34):
mental health matters, mondays and it is a one correlation
between mental health and your physical health. Now, so if
you think that there's no correlation, Harvard Medical School, Scripts
Mayo Clinic, every reputable research, not fake news, not made
(20:57):
up studies, but real studies show that your mental health
will affect your physical health, whether it's chronic illness or
acute illness. So I wanted to bring someone on who
would help us with that on a mental health money.
Her name is doctor V and she's a practicing physician
(21:18):
at John Hopkins and the founder of Get Checked for Life,
in a nonprofit providing underserved communities with access to critical
health services. She's been a featured. She's been featured across
top outlets including foxw CBS Women's Health, and the Steve
(21:42):
Harvey Show, I Didn't Know That, and a trusted video
on breaking health issues. She's the founder of Get Check
for Life and yeah, it's a she's she's great and
she's beautiful too. So I'm going to bring you one
her doctor Vee. When we come back after for news,
ID station identification and a word from our sponsor and
(22:08):
upbreak for news, weather and traffic, don't go away. We'll
be right back into and to here we go.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Well.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
She has been dubbed the Asian Oprah and she just
wants all of us to be happy. Doctor Marissa a
ka the Asian Oprah says, the most.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Important thing you can choose is choosing to be happy.
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show
called Take My Advice. I'm not using it.
Speaker 6 (23:08):
Get balanced with Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
That's the idea for doctor Marissa Pay's new book call
Eight Ways to Be Happy.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Many of us say I am my own worst critic.
Nobody's harder on me than I am.
Speaker 7 (23:34):
And my response to that is stop it.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Why are you doing that to yourself? You have to
be your biggest fan, because if you can't, at the
end of the day say I did a good job,
who is We don't have to constantly be angry at
the things that are wrong.
Speaker 7 (23:52):
Why don't we choose to be happy about things that
are right. We have the choice. That's our muscle, and
life is so amazing if we can see it.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurice Pey.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
And we're back. Welcome to the show now an important
topic for us today. Fall and winter are the most
challenging times of the year to stay healthy. Ask me,
I just lost my voice and found it almost eighty
eight percent of it. But joining us today with some
healthy reminders is doctor Yale Vernado, the TV host most
(24:49):
known as doctor V and the founder of get checked
for life dot org. Doctor V is a practicing physician
at John Hopkins and has been a medical contributor for Today,
CNN Women's Health, and many others. I bring you the
best when we need some reminders, please, Welcome to the show,
(25:11):
Doctor der Vy.
Speaker 8 (25:18):
Welcome, Thank you, thank you for having me. It's wonderful
to be with you.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yes, so nice to meet you. Now. What is one
of your top reminders to patience about staying healthy and
I need to hear this.
Speaker 8 (25:34):
Well, you can speak to this as well too. I mean,
you know, it happens. We're seeing people coming in and
we're keenly aware of you know, we're treating them. They're sick.
Are they Is it because they're rundown? Are they not
getting enough sleep? Is it stress? And so we need
to lean into, especially at this time of year, being
healthy and prevention and reminding ourselves of ways to stay healthy,
(26:00):
especially as we move into the fall and winter months.
And that's really why I created get checked forlife dot
org as a resource to remind people to take care
of themselves absolutely.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Now, where's a good place to start when it comes
to prepare for that dreaded flu season.
Speaker 8 (26:18):
You know, flu season is upon us and there's no
escaping it, but you can be prepared. And so I
recommend to my patients a flu medicine called Boron's as
Soilo coccinum or ascillo for short. I absolutely love it
because it shortens the duration of sick days for the
whole family. Now, while oscillo coccinum cannot prevent the flu,
(26:40):
it allows you to fight those symptoms before they get
out of hand. And you know, clinical studies have shown
that when taking at the onset, Ascillo reduces the duration
and severity of flu like symptoms such as fever, chills,
those awful body aches. And unlike other flu medicines, as
Sollo is non drowsy and it doesn't interact with other medications.
(27:00):
You know, it's perfect for home and you can keep
it in your medicine cabinet. It's great for travel. It's
easily you know, access, you can throw it in your purse,
your bag, and it's widely available. You don't need a
prescription to.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Get it, and it doesn't taste bad either at all.
Endorser for that one. What's the best way to stay
healthy this time of year? What can we do ourselves?
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Well?
Speaker 8 (27:23):
One of the most important things we can do is exercise.
And now I know a lot of folks will say, look,
it's starting to be a cooler outside, but bring the
exercise back in. There's nothing wrong with that, right. So
my favorite go to gym is Planet Fitness because they
have twenty seven hundred locations nationally and internationally, and they
make it easy for you to stay active during the
(27:44):
fallowing winter months with their best in class strength and
cardio equipment and their non intimidating environment for all fitness levels.
I remind my patients remember, exercise on a regular basis
is going to boost your energy, reduce your stress, and
improve your sleep. And with the high value, low price
Planet Fitness membership, anyone can get consistent exercise. I also
(28:06):
love the PF Black Card membership because it lets you
bring a guest every single day and it provides access
to the Black Card spot, the massage chairs and more.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Absolutely, my one of my favorite fitness jokes is I
wake up and my bathing suit says, you better go
get down to the gym, and then my sweatpant, my
sweatpants go, ah, you're okay, stay in bed, but listen
to your bathing suit.
Speaker 8 (28:32):
Yes for those jeans, you know, if you can still
button them, you're good. But we're leaning into like, you know,
the wintertime, when there's the holidays and all that good food,
and they might start getting tight.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
So absolutely the exactly why I don't own a pair
of jeans. All right, do you have any other doctor
approved tips to share? And y'all know I'm not an MD,
so don't show me anything. I'm a PhD, which only
says it always stands for piled higher and deeper. But
we have an expert today, so listen to her. What
(29:06):
other doctor medically doctor approoved tips do you have to share?
Speaker 8 (29:11):
One of the most important things that we can do,
dec and Resa is get good sleep. Right, Yeah, I
mean you can speak to this. Everybody knows. If you
can get good consistent sleep, you could heal your body,
especially in these darker months when there's not as much sunlight.
It's important about giving your body that permission to recharge,
to rest so that you can regenerate, slow down and reset.
(29:34):
And so that's really important if you get good consistent
sleep this fallow winter month.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Great, great advice and probably harder to keep since COVID
I noticed myself. You know that streaming, you know, pays
that I get into in one am and next thing,
you know, you want to watch the whole thing, and
then you don't get a good night's sleep. So really
good advice on that one. Now, if you're too tired
(30:00):
remember all of this, Where do you go for more information?
Doctor v check.
Speaker 8 (30:05):
Out tips on TV dot com for all the things
that we talked about today.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Fantastic, Well, it's just been a pleasure having you with
all your great tips again. Tips for TV dot com
is where you go to get V for coming in.
Speaker 8 (30:23):
Thanks you have a wonderful day, Take.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Care, absolutely have the best day ever. Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
Thank you have a great day.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
All right, And that is Tips on TV. I was
reminded that I said the other one, so I hopefully
you caught that at the end Tips on TV dot com.
And just because I messed that up, I'm gonna actually
bring that screen up here, something I don't normally do
(31:09):
because we're short on time, but I am this. Hopefully
you will see this is tips on TV. We've just
saw Doctor V and lots of great information. Actually, now
that I'm looking at this great stuff for moms for
anyone who wants, you know, it looks like life hacks here.
(31:33):
So yeah, that was a great little interview with doctor V,
who reminds of us of our own ability. And you know,
that is exactly what I keep talking about, is we
can take responsibility for our own health. A lot of
times we think that we have to go to an
(31:55):
expert somewhere, but a lot of the things like just
mentioned are things that we can take responsibility for, which
is what I'm always trying to encourage all of us
to do. It is so important to make sure that
you are really you know, who puts a gun to
(32:22):
our head to watch things. And I'm telling on myself
here to keep watching the entire series. And then you
get a horrible night sleep, and then you forget stuff,
and then you make mistakes like like tips on TV
dot com. But and I'm guilty of that. There's things
(32:44):
that we can do and take responsibility for that are
so tantamount for our own mental health, and certainly sleep
and exercise that we're highlighted today with Doctor v are
so important, all right, and I realize that we forgot
or I forgot to do the whole bottom of the button.
(33:10):
So we have breakfast. Thank you for that heart and
the finger. Those of you who've just tuned in and
wondering what's going on in studio today, it is take
my advice. I'm not using a get balance with Doctor
Marissa the Morning Show, and I'm here on KCAA, NBC
News Radio, CNBC News Radio, NBC Sports station AM ten
(33:36):
fifty FM one O six point five and streaming everywhere iHeartRadio, Spotify,
and of course my YouTube TV channel where if you
free subscribe and give me the finger, this one, not
the other one, you will get this show every weekday morning.
And yeah, so I am so grateful that you are
(33:59):
here here. I'm grateful that we are continuing to talk
about not headlines but heartlines and things that will up
your happiness factor to eighty eight percent. And it is Mondymn.
So the focus is on mental health Monday's the bottom
(34:21):
of the bun is what do you like about yourself?
And honestly, this is the foundation of good mental health.
If you can't approve of yourself, how the fork do
you expect anyone else to approve of you? And we've
gotten into this really not useful habit of walking around
looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for approval,
(34:42):
looking for likes literally on social media. Right, how many
people like me? Blah blah blah. So we don't want
to do that anymore because, honestly, if someone likes you
one day, they are not going to like you the
next day. It's weird how that happen. So we got
to like ourselves. So what do you like about yourself?
(35:05):
I like I am great, I appreciate my ability to apologize,
my ability to not have high expectations of perfection on myself,
to say, oki doki eighty eight percent of the time,
I'm fabulous, twelve percent of the time I step in it.
(35:26):
And the fact that I can do that for myself
most of the time. Now, I was so hard on
myself for most of them, for a third of my life.
I don't know how long I'm gonna live, but definitely
mastered this, not when it's too late. And some of
my clients are so hard on themselves, and I appreciate
(35:49):
my ability to help them love themselves more, because that's
the most important thing. Folks. If you can't, yeah, you
gotta be okay with you. You have to approve of you.
If you really want to have a happy life, I
guarantee you it's called personal mastery. You can have all
the things, the beautiful car, beautiful partner, beautiful house, beautiful travel,
(36:15):
well all those beautiful reputation, fame, fortune, all those things
that we're told will make you happy. But you can
ask Robin Williams or Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain who
did have professional mastery, but personal mastery the ability to
love yourself and love your life. That, my friends, is
(36:38):
what I think is the foundation to mental health. So
there you go. That's why we do the bottom of
the vun Thanks for joining me for breakfast. It was
a long one today, but it is so important to
start your day with gratitude, to end it with appreciation,
and then you'll standwich your day in the most positive way.
I hope you joined me for breakfast every weekday morning
(36:59):
this so you'll have a good start in your mental
health Mondays. And now for that topic of the day,
everything is awesome. It is for this particular man, this
(37:22):
particular mental health Monday show. What I thought we would
talk about is self esteem. And we've been already talking
about it. When I talk about personal mastery that it
is a harmonym. It is a or a synonym. There
we go. It's a synonym for self esteem, self good,
(37:45):
self esteem, good mental health. Are our cousins or even
children of that umbrella called mental health. So how do
you how do you improve your self esteem? Uh, it's
a topic that I can get asked to speak on
or coach in. I'm about ready because I'm not on
(38:06):
tour to start a class again. I used to have
a nice robust class on the beach teaching balance tied
you Going, which is a moving meditation that promotes inner
piece one breath at a time, and it is a practice.
It's a bliscipline, it's a good life habit, just like
taking a bite of the gratitudes, and that will keep
(38:27):
you balanced, centered and work towards your own personal mastery
and self esteem. So let's look at what the you know,
how I like to do this the definition that Google
will give me or AI will look at all the
definitions and come up with, you know, the most. I
(38:51):
don't know if it's definitely accurate all the time, but
certainly what the majority already of the information out there.
So while we're still like mostly accurate, AI is great
when when fake news and you know, forty two point
(39:12):
seven percent of all statistics are made up on the spot,
I heard that. I forget who said that, but it's
super funny to me. But I is bringing us a
compilation and self esteem. Here is the overall sense of
self worth or personal value or go personal mastery. It
(39:35):
includes feeling confident in your abilities, accepting your value, and
having a positive self image. You can improve self esteem
by setting and achieving healthy goals, focusing on positive aspects
of your life, gratitude, danwich, helping others, and spending time
with supportive people. Okay, so I accept this particular definition.
(39:57):
I hope that you have something that stood out to
you that you can sort of grasp onto. I mean
the keywords for me is positive self image and accepting
your value. You can have a positive self image. I've
met people when I do work as an organizational psychologist
(40:23):
whose names will remain anonymous to protect the guilty, who
have a very positive self image. I joke around and
I call it they have a blind faith in themselves
and you try to give them some feedback about their
impact on other people, and they don't get it. It goes
(40:45):
right over their head. And so positive self image is
not enough for good self esteem because you can think
you're all that, and when the truth is or your
impact on others, your intent is to be all that,
but your impact is way less than that. People who
(41:06):
have zero self awareness are very little self awareness, or
the people that I'm talking about, they have positive self
image of themselves, but they are not interpersonally effective. And
if you're extreme in that, there's you know, socio bath
(41:27):
I'm not a clinical psychologist. I'm an organizational psychologist. But
I had enough pre work and all of that. If
you go to the Diagnostic Manual DSM to date me,
when I went to school for my Masters in Clinical
Psyche at McMaster University, it was a DSM three. So
(41:51):
I think we're on DSM. I don't even know. I
haven't checked because I don't have to do cease. But
let me take a quick look the glare on my
fabulous studio. Hey, Siri, what's the latest DSM three. Let's
(42:12):
see if my AAI can find this quicker than I can. Oh,
it's not. Yes, I do mean the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders. That's the definition of DSM three.
(42:33):
By the way, we're at five. Okay, So in twenty
twenty two they updated it. And I bring this up
to say that if you're an extreme where you think
you're all that, and you you think you have self esteem,
but you are hurting people and you're doing things that
(42:55):
are you shouldn't be proud of, that's a there's actually
diagnoses for that. But I'm talking about normal self esteem,
where it's the opposite of perfectionism. Let's just put that
out there. If you're a perfectionist and you say to me,
(43:15):
I'm harder on myself than anyone else. I'm my own
worst critic. If I have a hundred one hundred compliments
and one criticism, I go directly to that criticism, then
my guess is that your self esteem could use some boosting.
(43:38):
My guess is that you're so hard on yourself that
you really your esteem is not very high because no
matter what you do, you are so hot on yourself
that you're constantly shooting on yourself. I shouldn't have done this,
(43:59):
I shouldn't have done that. I'm never gonna be good enough.
I'm only as good as my last accomplishment or whatever
that is. And that is someone who self esteem suffers,
but not from anyone else's criticism, but their own criticisms
of themselves. And that's a guaranteed unhappy making. So I
(44:25):
work with a lot of recovery perfectionists. I am one myself,
and my hashtag happy eighty eight challenge is if you
are identifying with what I'm saying right now, it is
time today October, Well, this will be a week later
on NBC. Let's just say for October right of twenty
(44:49):
twenty five is the first and last month where you
are so hard on yourself that you and you identify
as having low self esteem and that you are the
number one violator of your own esteem because you can't
(45:09):
give yourself a break, you can't give yourself accolades, you
can't say, you know, honey, I've done a good job today.
I've done the best that I can with the time
that I have and the resources I have. Then you're
a candidate for that hashtag Happy eighty eight challenge, which
is every single day, I want you to give yourself
a compliment. I want you to do the morning exercise,
(45:33):
the taking a bite of my gratitude sandwich, because that
bottom of the bond is so important that you acknowledge
what you're good at. That's where self esteem starts. Can
you look at yourself and say, you know, you start
with I'm not a bad person, or I'm not that
(45:54):
bad or you know, and you're talking to yourself. I know.
They say that if you hear voices in your head,
you're crazy. I'm here to tell you if you don't
address the voices in your head that are telling you
that you're not all that and that you're not going
to amount to anything and you should just give it
(46:17):
up and just stay in bed and just you know,
forget trying that voice. That's you, Okay, that's a part
of you. That's your internal critic. That's that voice in
your head that drives you crazy or as I say, well,
drive your life car over a cliff. And all of
my work is around an alignment of your life car tires. Right,
(46:42):
you're aligning yourself so that you are not driven by
that voice. You're not the critic in your head. You
are balance centered self, and you have a critic that
you can use. And you don't want to kill your critic,
because the opposite side of critic is protector. Right. If
(47:03):
you didn't have your critic, you'd have red hands from
bert hands from putting your hand on the stove, and
you'd probably be dead because you were run over by
a car when you were a git. So it's important
to have that critic. But many of us, and one
hundred percent of perfectionists have put that critic in the
life car driver's seat, and it will drive you over
a cliff because a lot of people get to I
(47:26):
think that's the birth of the midlife crisis is the voice,
that critical voice, you know, being so hard on yourself
that you go to the other extreme and go, you
know what, screw you, critic, I'm going to do whatever.
And then the brat takes over, and then you buy
(47:47):
a corvette or whatever, you know, get into dangerous sports
because the brat, which is the one who says, what
do you mean I gotta apologize? Or what do you
mean I can't have that Krispy Kreme donut again, the
brat is not who you are, but it is a
part of who you are. And if you let your
brat take over, you have a full blown midlife crisis
(48:08):
and you, you know, shirk your responsibilities, take off and
you know, hook up with someone usually much younger than
yourself or whatever. That thing is not taking responsibility at all.
But the balance and the solution to that is you're
not the brat whose opposite side is fun so you
don't want to kill them, and you're not the critic
(48:30):
whose opposite side is protector and you don't want to
kill them. But balance centered self. I have balance centered
Doctor Mersa is the one that drives the life car
and knows that the critic belongs in the passenger seat,
and the brat belongs in the back seat diagonal where
I can see them. So that is the foundation to
(48:55):
good self esteem, is to know who you are and
to like who you are.
Speaker 7 (49:02):
It is so.
Speaker 2 (49:02):
Important to like who you are. Now some of you
will say, but doctor Marissa, I don't like who I am.
I am too fat, I am not smart, I am lazy,
I am to what's that word impulsive. I've done things
(49:30):
in my past that I'm really embarrassed and ashamed of,
and I just can't like myself. I try, I look
in the mirror, I do my affirmations, I tell myself
I'm beautiful, and then I'm just like, like, who are
we fooling? Or it'll work for a day and then
the next day, you know, giants it on your face
(49:52):
and there's no way I can approve of myself. I
don't like myself. So, doctor Marissa, I will never have
self esteem. And my response to that is two words.
Stop it. Come on, folks, you've never done anything in
your life that you are happy or proud with. I
(50:16):
don't believe you unless you are Jeffrey Dahmer or you
know someone who's Epstein. You know whoever those examples of
people who have made the news as horrific people, I
don't even want to go there. I'm talking about you.
I'm talking about your own ability to acknowledge and practice
(50:41):
seeing you for who you really are, and who you
really are is one of a kind, wonderful period end
of story or beginning of story. And you know, but
I get you. Let's put the moose on the table.
(51:02):
Sixteen and a half years ago, I did not like
myself at all. Was in the middle of a horrible
divorce that cost me millions of dollars, and I, you know,
lots of things were happening on the outside that were horrific.
I don't even want to go in the examples because
(51:23):
they're so horrible. Those of you heard my story. Those
of you haven't heard my story, you can hear it
in this free audiobook that I'm giving today from Eight
Ways to Happiness from wherever you are. That book is
not as a psychologist telling you how to be happy.
It's my story as well as duels to get out
(51:44):
of that, which is what the show's about. So the
number one thing you want more self esteem, you have
to stop seeing yourself through the glasses of regret, shame, blame, right,
And there's one chapter on exactly that, like regret and shame,
(52:11):
like your inability to forgive yourself of something you've done
in the past, will keep you from forgiving people around
you as well. And it's a guaranteed no happy zone.
If you're angry and in a state of pistoffedness most
of the time, you will not be happy. So the
(52:35):
first person to cut some slack for is your self.
If you're constantly focused on things that you shouldn't have said,
shouldn't have done, done in the past that you regret
or are embarrassed or shameful about, that's the work, okay,
because every single one of us does the very best
(52:58):
that we can with the resources and the time we
have at that time. So if I look back in
my leg there's some things that I am not proud
of that I did, And if I continue to live
in the space that brings those memories up and I
use it to bash myself on the head or that,
(53:19):
you know, wherever, I'm going to spend the rest of
my life in mental and emotional anguish and pain. And
a lot of my clients are in that hell right now,
and the only person that can help you out of
that personal hell is yourself. You have to work that
(53:40):
muscle that says, you know, I'm not perfect, but I'm
pretty darn good. I started the show with I'm eighty
eight percent fabulous. Twelve percent of the time I step
in it, but eighty eight percent of the time I'm
carrying a lot of the time. When I see some
one that is going through some pain and going through
(54:04):
some temporary darkness, I do most people, will, you know,
stop and go are you okay? That's a caring gesture.
And I don't know one person on the planet who
hasn't done that at least one time. Okay, and I
know that you've done it more than once. So you're
a caring person. So celebrate that you're a loving person.
(54:27):
You have at least even if you don't love humans.
If you have a dog or a cat, and I
know people who love their dogs and their cats, you
know you're a loving person even if you don't like people.
I know I'm reaching deep, but there's always something that
you can be grateful for that you are about. You
(54:48):
know people, Oh, I'm going to lose my job, I'm horrible.
I keep getting fired Da da da da da. Well
let me balance it out now. Self esteem also, you
can improve your self esteem by doing esteemable acts. I
love that expression. Self esteem through esteemable acts. Now, if
(55:11):
you're a person that doesn't keep your word, you're constantly
letting your self down. Not only so when you say
you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, if
you say you're going to help someone with something. If
you say you're going to be somewhere and you're not
there because at the last minute you feel so badly
about yourself that you don't want to get out of bed,
(55:34):
guess what, you are hurting your own self esteem because
the number one way to feel and be more esteemable
is to act on your own behalf esteem for esteemable acts. So,
if you're someone who is beating yourself up because New
(55:57):
Year's resolutions, you always fall off the beam, well join
everybody like no one is perfect around that. But as
long as you those expressions right, doesn't matter how many
times you fall, It doesn't matter how many times you
pick yourself up again. And if you your word, that's
(56:19):
your your esteem right. I'm gonna you know, take a
walk every day for my health. And let's say you
start really gangbusters and you know you're walking like a
mile or whatever, and then you stop altogether. Uh, and
then you feel bad right about stopping that. I'm not
(56:40):
telling you to go oh yay, I messed up and
I don't do that anymore. And I stay in bed
for and I don't take a shower, and I don't
clean the house, and I don't take care of my kids.
Am I asking you to feel good about that? No,
esteam is through a steamabile ass. If you're not acting
on your own behalf, if you're not your own word,
(57:01):
well that's where we start, right. Don't make promises you
can't keep number one, and to start small. Do something
that you can do, and when you start coaching yourself.
That's a way. When I do coaching, I ask people
to find something that they enjoy doing and they reward themselves.
It's you being the boss of you right that your
(57:26):
ability to act on your own behalf. It's not a
light switch. It takes time to practice that muscle of
keeping your word to yourself and when you do that,
the esteem grows. That's self esteem. It's not a you know,
I'm you know, I've spent how many years thinking I'm
(57:48):
a piece of shadaki right, waking up having a fat
and ugly attack. And I've practiced this habit over and
over and over for so many years. You can't turn
on a dime, right, you have to begin practicing. Today.
I'm going to do something little. I am going to
brush my teeth today. I'm going to do something little.
(58:11):
I am going to wake up at the first time
the alarm goes off instead of hitting snooze. Today, I'm
going to meditate not for an hour, but just two
minutes by putting a two minute timer down and just
closing my eyes and breathing in through the nose and
out through the mouth. Today, I'm going to just sit
(58:32):
and write for one minute or two minutes. Today, I'm
going to watch one less series or today, I am
going to compliment someone instead of criticizing them. Today, I'm
going to do whatever I can that feels good. That's
(58:57):
my commitment to myself, and I'm out of time. I
don't know how I do that, But hopefully you got
something from all of this for your own self esteem,
because that is my job. Happy eighty eight Mission eighty
eight million for the next eight years of people who
are eighty eight percent happy. Thanks for joining me this morning.
It's all about balance, piece in piece out world peace
(59:20):
through inner piece. Now go and have the best day ever.
I'll see you tomorrow Tuesday Talent with Brenda Dieger. Thanks
for joining me today.
Speaker 3 (59:39):
You're listening to KCAA, your good neighbor along the Ways.
Hey you yeah, you do? You know where you are? Well,
you've done it. Now you're listening to KCAA Lom Linda,
your CNBC news station, so expect the unexpected.
Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
You're listening to the Tehibo Tea Club radio show hosted
by
Jump off at exhausting amster wheel and into balance. Living
with Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
From Miss Joy.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
The Doctor Marissa, also known as the Asian Oprah. Her
mission to be a beneficial presence on the planet, her
purpose to be your personal advocate, to live, lap love, learn,
her life motto, don't die wondering, Take back your life
with Doctor Maurica pay.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
And welcome. You're tuned into my I was gonna say weekly.
It's a daily, every weekday morning my show about openhappiness
called take My Advice. I'm not using it to get
balanced with Sacha Versa The Morning Show here on KCYAA,
NBC News, CNBC News and NBC Sports Radio station AM
(00:58):
ten fifty f one oh six point five and streaming
everywhere iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, Tunent, in Audible, Amazon Music, Tikula, Rumbull, Puncheser, Streaker, Speaker,
and more. Why so many places, Well, I wanted to
balance out all the bad news out there with some
good news. So if you're looking for the headlines, you
(01:20):
will not find them here. Why there are so many places? Actually,
every other place that I know of has the news,
which is actually the old It's already happened and I
will probably bet you at least a dollar that it
is not good news. Producers love to you know, if
(01:40):
it bleeds, it leads to get you up and atam
with the what is wrong with people? And the shock
and off factor or the you know, get you into
that jump right into fear and worry and anxiety every
single morning. That's what they do because the fault of
the media, but the fault of our own it's actually
(02:03):
not a fault, is not a right or wrong, but
it's just not useful to start your day with things
that upset you. Eighty five percent of all diagnoses these
days in the doctor's office, I am told are they
will say it's stress that is creating the symptoms that
(02:24):
you're feeling. So even though I'm not a medical doctor,
I do actually have one coming on the show today,
a very special interview about keeping healthy in this season
that we'll get to right after breakfast today with Doctor V. However,
I have been giving you for the past seven hundred
(02:45):
and two consecutive weeks. I love Monday because that makes
me update the counter. And yes, I didn't have a
chance to look at the impression number, but I know
that we cross that four million thresh hold on my
YouTube TV channel, and I'm so grateful that all those
(03:05):
who said I wouldn't last a year, we're wrong, because
we're well into our thirteenth year. May first, twenty twelve
was my first show, and now we'll be coming up
on show podcast number one thousand and five hundred coming
(03:25):
up very soon. I believe it's next Tuesday when I
will be celebrating fifteen hundred four King shows, and I
can't wait to have you meet the guests that will
celebrate this momentous milestone with me. You'll know her. You've
watched her if you're a Netflix fan, if you watch
(03:47):
The Dahmer disturbing but very fascinating true story about Jeffrey Dahmer.
She was his grandma, and she's an actress that has
been timeline less ageless Michael learned. She was also you
know you saw her if you're ageless like I am.
(04:09):
On The Waltons, she was the mom Missus Walton. So yeah,
she will be here at Live in Studio to help
me celebrate fifteen hundred shows. That is October the twenty first,
which is a week from tomorrow, So please do keep
it here. You might as well, just start with mental
(04:30):
health Mondays Mondy Mondy. If you woke up and said
what time is it or what day is it? Like
I did, I'm a good show to keep the marker
on because every single day I have a special series
and that's what today is. Tomorrow is Tuesday Talent and
I have the one and only Brenda Lee Eger coming in.
(04:54):
She's a musician extraordinary that I know as Maya Goape sister.
And Wednesday is Doctors in the House with m D
Doctor Doctor Tiffany Tate. Thursdays is Throwback Thursdays on the
second and fourth, and on the first and third, which
it will be is Mark Simon my newest series every
(05:18):
first and third Thursday with It'll be second and fourth
Thursday on the NBC News radio channel casey AA and
on the other platforms, but live on my YouTube TV channel.
He is beating cancer with nutrition, which is a great information,
great information for anybody who knows anybody, which is pretty
(05:39):
much everybody who knows someone who's touched by cancer and
in a holistic way to be cancer. So that's Thursday's.
Fridays is my fun straight talk. Those of you who
enjoy Ricky Rebel and James Hawthorne. They swap out every
other weekend, and the irony is it's called straight talk
(05:59):
as we put the moose on the table, which is
my Canadian version of talking about the elephant in the room.
And they both keep it very entertaining considering they're both
not straight. So we talk about relationships and dating and
all kinds of fun stuff that I get a little
naughty because it's Friday and we're going into the weekend Monday,
(06:21):
I get serious again, not so naughty, and that is today.
So that's my first gratitude is the way I start
every show, which is taking a bite of my gratitude sandwich.
Top of the button is things that we're grateful for
outside of ourselves, and bottom of the butt is things
(06:42):
that we're grateful for inside of ourselves, what we appreciate.
And I want you to do that before you go
to bed tonight, so you're not falling asleep angry or
worried or shoulting on yourself. I should have done this,
I should have not, I forgot to do this, or
I'm really not all that, and it's a horrible way
you will not get a good night's sleep. And so
(07:04):
that's why we take a bite of the gratitude damage
every single morning, and that's how we're going to start.
Right now. If you're in studio, I see eyeballs coming in.
Welcome to the show. Please, if as long as you're
not driving, put in the chat which you're grateful for
this morning, and that's how we're going to start. And
I already gave you at least three gratitudes. One coming
(07:26):
up on one five hundred podcast shows, seven hundred and
two consecutive weeks on the air on camera, with which
I will give myself a little love. Y'all know, I
like to practice what I teach and affirm what is
(07:49):
good in my life. The other one is, oh I'm
a little I am. I had a very good day
yesterday because y'all know, well, you know, I go to
a gop bag, which is where I get my positive
roots watered and my peace of mind fertilized. And I
got to see my big brother, Michael Bernard beck With
(08:12):
and give him his winnings from Vegas. I asked him
what number he wanted me to put a dollar on,
and I put it on thirty four and a hit,
so he got his thirty six dollars. I think thirty
five dollars. I had to take the original dollar round.
But of his winnings for Vegas and I do love
(08:36):
Mayagape and my big brother and I'm grateful. Also after
that that, I went to Chinatown and participated in my
first Hong Kong style modjra in tournament. Now y'all know,
Thursday nights, I get to go and play with my
new group of friends. Majong Underground is and they are packed.
(09:01):
So I'm not even gonna tell you where it is.
Dom kidding it's at generally is give them a little love.
That is a great it's helping revive Chinatown obviously my
Chinese roots. But we had a tournament yesterday where there
were I want to say, like ten tables so times
for forty ish people maybe more. And we participated in
(09:26):
three rounds of play and then the top four made
it to the final round and guess who was number
one in that race to get to that final table.
And then the final table I played and guess who
won that. I do love to win, so you and
(09:49):
they had a cute belt. I'm going to put the
social up today, but I wanted a title belt. For
Hong Kong style Jong champion at my Jong underg So
I'm gonna give myself some love again because I think
the only thing I love better than playing majong is
(10:11):
winning at majong, because y'all know, just a tad competitive.
It's not whether you're winner lose, it's whether I win
or lose. But seriously, it was so much fun and
I just love my new friends. And I started my
own majohn club called Mojong Beaches because I'm on the beach,
(10:31):
get it week week No, not thank you for that, heart.
I We get together once a month and get to
play at my place and we're on round three coming
up next weekend, and it's just a wonderful collection of people,
especially since I honestly I got involved in all three
(10:53):
mojong groups La Mojong, I get to play Taiwan style majong,
and I'm actually I've been asked to put together an
online course teaching how to play majong both styles, so
I'm working on that one right now. And also a
direct result of not going where I was supposed to
(11:16):
go as planned. You all know I was supposed to
be gone. You weren't even supposed to see what. I
was going to take a hiatus from the show to
travel my book Eight Ways to Happiness from wherever you are.
By the way today, since it is Monday, Monday, you
get a free audiobook copy of this bestseller. Who's a
(11:37):
national bestseller and number one Amazon when he came out
Eight Ways to Happiness.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
And I was.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Supposed to go back on tour that was cut short
by COVID. I was in China actually with the book,
and I was in Wuhan in November of twenty nineteen,
and yeah, on the last plane that took off before
(12:05):
they started instituting the taking temperatures before the flight, and
I swear I did not bring COVID here. In fact,
I have been tested. I've never had COVID. NA Gong
would and I'm grateful for that. But I was supposed
to go back on tour Africa to run Africa, Canada, Ireland, Hawaii,
(12:28):
three Islands, Shanghai, Taiwan for the rest of this year.
And two days before the first flight they found blood cluts,
so they grounded me and I was very sad for
a little bit. Could could not start the day without crying,
which is good tears of the disaffect that they keep
(12:51):
your heart soft, and it was important for me to
move through that process. But I am explaining all this
because Majong has saved my assets as a place to
feel creative and fun and a place to focus instead
(13:15):
of thinking about what I've lost with the grounding of
the tour. With the end of the tour, really, I'm
not allowed to fly in that kind of a schedule
ever again because of the near fatal two DVTs that
they found, which is the second violation. I had one
in nineteen ninety six with a pulmonary embolism, So no
(13:37):
more traveling like that, and that was a very bitter
pill to swallow. And I know that they say that
when one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes it's
hell in allway. So I've been moving through that. Thank
you so much for all the supportive messages that y'all
who follow me for the long time now on my
(13:59):
social have been so kind. And I'm moving through it,
and I know everything happens for my divine and best good.
But definitely Mojong has replaced sailboat racing as my passion.
That's another thing I had to end because I'm on
lifetime blood thinner now and it's too dangerous to go
(14:20):
out and race. So there's the story. And I am
truly grateful coming full circle to the three Mojong groups.
The other one is I say, Mojong Underground, La Mojong
and East never loses. So the three of them have
kept me very, very active and happy. I'm gonna there's
(14:44):
a generational Mojong that I'll be going to, but stay
tuned for the lessons that I'm going to actually put online.
So anybody, because I've been asked that so much, now,
please teach me. I used to actually start joylock clubs
in the South Bay in when I lived in Hermosa
(15:07):
Beach down in Seal Beach, when I raised my kids
there because it's it's a wonderful activity that you can
all participate in, and it also celebrates my Chinese roots,
which are very important. I know my grandfather was very
happy yesterday. He's on the other side in heaven. He
was an avid mojoon player and he he was happy
(15:30):
that I won that tournament. All right, that's good for gratitudes. Oh.
I am grateful that the very wonderful Catalina Jazz Festival
is full underway. You know, I did Doctor Mercer reporting
live there last weekend. Please do go to jazz tracks
(15:50):
dot com to get tickets for this coming weekend. I
did already give the tickets away that Art Good was
kind enough to give me for my Asian Oprah giveaway.
But if you go and meet Tracy at the box
office this next weekend and say doctor Mersa sent me
with the Asian Oprah giveaway, she'll give you ten dollars
(16:11):
off a ticket, So please do go take advantage of that.
And then finally another gratitude. It is season four Newport Beach.
I was gonna say Fashion Island. It starts with enough.
It's called the Film Festival and I am the very
(16:33):
proud sponsor for the Chinese Spotlight Film. This year it's
the Hong Kong Spotlight Film again. So you'll see me there.
Come join me at the Newport Beach Film Festival. Opening
night is this Thursday and it runs for a week
and I will be there with my microphone on the
red carpet. And who knows, I met Gosh Tony Hawk
(16:58):
one year. I I got to one of my first years.
I got to flash Piece with Pierce Brosnan for the
second time, so that photo is on my website. Actually,
it's a good time to sort of show that if
you go to my website. First of all, if you
go to my website and want the audiobook copy of
(17:20):
my book, you just go down scroll to the bottom
and there is here contact. Put in your name, your
email asian over giveaway or Mondays and I'll know that
you would like a free audiobook copy today only on Mondays.
And then if you go back to the top and
this red Carpet playlist, you will see some people you
(17:44):
may recognize. There's Jimmy Kimmel and Layla Ali and Stevie
Wonder and Halle Berry, all these beautiful people that I've
had a chance to meet and flash piece with and
get soundbites with an interview beloved Quincy Jones, who's on
the other side. There's Larry Namer. He's coming back on
(18:06):
the show. He's the founder of I Entertainment. We forgive
him for that. And the picture that I'm looking for.
There's my big brother, Michael is.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
There's another from my Newport Beach Film Festival. I re
met him. I actually shared a stage with James T.
Kirk from Star Trek. There's Rich little there's Manny Pacio,
there's the Temptations and Don Miguel Ruiz for Agreements. You
(18:37):
all know that one Temptations founder daughter, my beloved Aloon Carter,
her great son, and they've been on my show. There
he is. This is the reason why I show you,
Oh great guest, the first Abel what is the term? Anyway,
(19:00):
Pierce Prost's there. There's his wife who also was flashing
piece and I was talking about Jerry Jewel, who was
you'll remember her, love her piece and piece out to
her and she's been my guest multiple times. And actor
I want to I always want to say Richard Pryor.
Actually had Richard Pryor's son on the show a couple
(19:22):
of times. I'll have to get him back on. But
what is his name? Somebody's gonna help me. Have to
help me because I have great memory, but my recall sucks,
especially on Monday. But you'll know him from Richard. I
know it's Richard the actor. I think he was in
Dead Poet Society. Anyways, go on my website, Red Carver Playlist.
(19:50):
You'll see some great photos of people that you will recognize.
There's some teleodobious with my cost on Friday, Ricky Rebel,
Paula Abdul, and we could spend the a whole hour
looking at that, but we won't. But anyways, I am
so grateful that you know, we're going to be back
on stage with the New bart Beach Film Festival, and
(20:13):
I'll flash that up after break. All right, where are
we now? I am going to take a quick station
I D break, and when we come back, I'm going
to bring you the interview that I just did this
morning with doctor V with some tips on you know,
(20:34):
mental health matters, mondays and it is a one correlation
between mental health and your physical health. Now, so if
you think that there's no correlation, Harvard Medical School, Scripts
Mayo Clinic, every reputable research, not fake news, not made
(20:57):
up studies, but real studies show that your mental health
will affect your physical health, whether it's chronic illness or
acute illness. So I wanted to bring someone on who
would help us with that on a mental health money.
Her name is doctor V and she's a practicing physician
(21:18):
at John Hopkins and the founder of Get Checked for Life,
in a nonprofit providing underserved communities with access to critical
health services. She's been a featured. She's been featured across
top outlets including foxw CBS Women's Health, and the Steve
(21:42):
Harvey Show, I Didn't Know That, and a trusted video
on breaking health issues. She's the founder of Get Check
for Life and yeah, it's a she's she's great and
she's beautiful too. So I'm going to bring you one
her doctor Vee. When we come back after for news,
ID station identification and a word from our sponsor and
(22:08):
upbreak for news, weather and traffic, don't go away. We'll
be right back into and to here we go.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Well.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
She has been dubbed the Asian Oprah and she just
wants all of us to be happy. Doctor Marissa a
ka the Asian Oprah says, the most.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Important thing you can choose is choosing to be happy.
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show
called Take My Advice. I'm not using it.
Speaker 6 (23:08):
Get balanced with Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
That's the idea for doctor Marissa Pay's new book call
Eight Ways to Be Happy.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Many of us say I am my own worst critic.
Nobody's harder on me than I am.
Speaker 7 (23:34):
And my response to that is stop it.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Why are you doing that to yourself? You have to
be your biggest fan, because if you can't, at the
end of the day say I did a good job,
who is We don't have to constantly be angry at
the things that are wrong.
Speaker 7 (23:52):
Why don't we choose to be happy about things that
are right. We have the choice. That's our muscle, and
life is so amazing if we can see it.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurice Pey.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
And we're back. Welcome to the show now an important
topic for us today. Fall and winter are the most
challenging times of the year to stay healthy. Ask me,
I just lost my voice and found it almost eighty
eight percent of it. But joining us today with some
healthy reminders is doctor Yale Vernado, the TV host most
(24:49):
known as doctor V and the founder of get checked
for life dot org. Doctor V is a practicing physician
at John Hopkins and has been a medical contributor for Today,
CNN Women's Health, and many others. I bring you the
best when we need some reminders, please, Welcome to the show,
(25:11):
Doctor der Vy.
Speaker 8 (25:18):
Welcome, Thank you, thank you for having me. It's wonderful
to be with you.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yes, so nice to meet you. Now. What is one
of your top reminders to patience about staying healthy and
I need to hear this.
Speaker 8 (25:34):
Well, you can speak to this as well too. I mean,
you know, it happens. We're seeing people coming in and
we're keenly aware of you know, we're treating them. They're sick.
Are they Is it because they're rundown? Are they not
getting enough sleep? Is it stress? And so we need
to lean into, especially at this time of year, being
healthy and prevention and reminding ourselves of ways to stay healthy,
(26:00):
especially as we move into the fall and winter months.
And that's really why I created get checked forlife dot
org as a resource to remind people to take care
of themselves absolutely.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Now, where's a good place to start when it comes
to prepare for that dreaded flu season.
Speaker 8 (26:18):
You know, flu season is upon us and there's no
escaping it, but you can be prepared. And so I
recommend to my patients a flu medicine called Boron's as
Soilo coccinum or ascillo for short. I absolutely love it
because it shortens the duration of sick days for the
whole family. Now, while oscillo coccinum cannot prevent the flu,
(26:40):
it allows you to fight those symptoms before they get
out of hand. And you know, clinical studies have shown
that when taking at the onset, Ascillo reduces the duration
and severity of flu like symptoms such as fever, chills,
those awful body aches. And unlike other flu medicines, as
Sollo is non drowsy and it doesn't interact with other medications.
(27:00):
You know, it's perfect for home and you can keep
it in your medicine cabinet. It's great for travel. It's
easily you know, access, you can throw it in your purse,
your bag, and it's widely available. You don't need a
prescription to.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Get it, and it doesn't taste bad either at all.
Endorser for that one. What's the best way to stay
healthy this time of year? What can we do ourselves?
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Well?
Speaker 8 (27:23):
One of the most important things we can do is exercise.
And now I know a lot of folks will say, look,
it's starting to be a cooler outside, but bring the
exercise back in. There's nothing wrong with that, right. So
my favorite go to gym is Planet Fitness because they
have twenty seven hundred locations nationally and internationally, and they
make it easy for you to stay active during the
(27:44):
fallowing winter months with their best in class strength and
cardio equipment and their non intimidating environment for all fitness levels.
I remind my patients remember, exercise on a regular basis
is going to boost your energy, reduce your stress, and
improve your sleep. And with the high value, low price
Planet Fitness membership, anyone can get consistent exercise. I also
(28:06):
love the PF Black Card membership because it lets you
bring a guest every single day and it provides access
to the Black Card spot, the massage chairs and more.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Absolutely, my one of my favorite fitness jokes is I
wake up and my bathing suit says, you better go
get down to the gym, and then my sweatpant, my
sweatpants go, ah, you're okay, stay in bed, but listen
to your bathing suit.
Speaker 8 (28:32):
Yes for those jeans, you know, if you can still
button them, you're good. But we're leaning into like, you know,
the wintertime, when there's the holidays and all that good food,
and they might start getting tight.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
So absolutely the exactly why I don't own a pair
of jeans. All right, do you have any other doctor
approved tips to share? And y'all know I'm not an MD,
so don't show me anything. I'm a PhD, which only
says it always stands for piled higher and deeper. But
we have an expert today, so listen to her. What
(29:06):
other doctor medically doctor approoved tips do you have to share?
Speaker 8 (29:11):
One of the most important things that we can do,
dec and Resa is get good sleep. Right, Yeah, I
mean you can speak to this. Everybody knows. If you
can get good consistent sleep, you could heal your body,
especially in these darker months when there's not as much sunlight.
It's important about giving your body that permission to recharge,
to rest so that you can regenerate, slow down and reset.
(29:34):
And so that's really important if you get good consistent
sleep this fallow winter month.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Great, great advice and probably harder to keep since COVID
I noticed myself. You know that streaming, you know, pays
that I get into in one am and next thing,
you know, you want to watch the whole thing, and
then you don't get a good night's sleep. So really
good advice on that one. Now, if you're too tired
(30:00):
remember all of this, Where do you go for more information?
Doctor v check.
Speaker 8 (30:05):
Out tips on TV dot com for all the things
that we talked about today.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Fantastic, Well, it's just been a pleasure having you with
all your great tips again. Tips for TV dot com
is where you go to get V for coming in.
Speaker 8 (30:23):
Thanks you have a wonderful day, Take.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Care, absolutely have the best day ever. Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (30:29):
Thank you have a great day.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
All right, And that is Tips on TV. I was
reminded that I said the other one, so I hopefully
you caught that at the end Tips on TV dot com.
And just because I messed that up, I'm gonna actually
bring that screen up here, something I don't normally do
(31:09):
because we're short on time, but I am this. Hopefully
you will see this is tips on TV. We've just
saw Doctor V and lots of great information. Actually, now
that I'm looking at this great stuff for moms for
anyone who wants, you know, it looks like life hacks here.
(31:33):
So yeah, that was a great little interview with doctor V,
who reminds of us of our own ability. And you know,
that is exactly what I keep talking about, is we
can take responsibility for our own health. A lot of
times we think that we have to go to an
(31:55):
expert somewhere, but a lot of the things like just
mentioned are things that we can take responsibility for, which
is what I'm always trying to encourage all of us
to do. It is so important to make sure that
you are really you know, who puts a gun to
(32:22):
our head to watch things. And I'm telling on myself
here to keep watching the entire series. And then you
get a horrible night sleep, and then you forget stuff,
and then you make mistakes like like tips on TV
dot com. But and I'm guilty of that. There's things
(32:44):
that we can do and take responsibility for that are
so tantamount for our own mental health, and certainly sleep
and exercise that we're highlighted today with Doctor v are
so important, all right, and I realize that we forgot
or I forgot to do the whole bottom of the button.
(33:10):
So we have breakfast. Thank you for that heart and
the finger. Those of you who've just tuned in and
wondering what's going on in studio today, it is take
my advice. I'm not using a get balance with Doctor
Marissa the Morning Show, and I'm here on KCAA, NBC
News Radio, CNBC News Radio, NBC Sports station AM ten
(33:36):
fifty FM one O six point five and streaming everywhere iHeartRadio, Spotify,
and of course my YouTube TV channel where if you
free subscribe and give me the finger, this one, not
the other one, you will get this show every weekday morning.
And yeah, so I am so grateful that you are
(33:59):
here here. I'm grateful that we are continuing to talk
about not headlines but heartlines and things that will up
your happiness factor to eighty eight percent. And it is Mondymn.
So the focus is on mental health Monday's the bottom
(34:21):
of the bun is what do you like about yourself?
And honestly, this is the foundation of good mental health.
If you can't approve of yourself, how the fork do
you expect anyone else to approve of you? And we've
gotten into this really not useful habit of walking around
looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for approval,
(34:42):
looking for likes literally on social media. Right, how many
people like me? Blah blah blah. So we don't want
to do that anymore because, honestly, if someone likes you
one day, they are not going to like you the
next day. It's weird how that happen. So we got
to like ourselves. So what do you like about yourself?
(35:05):
I like I am great, I appreciate my ability to apologize,
my ability to not have high expectations of perfection on myself,
to say, oki doki eighty eight percent of the time,
I'm fabulous, twelve percent of the time I step in it.
(35:26):
And the fact that I can do that for myself
most of the time. Now, I was so hard on
myself for most of them, for a third of my life.
I don't know how long I'm gonna live, but definitely
mastered this, not when it's too late. And some of
my clients are so hard on themselves, and I appreciate
(35:49):
my ability to help them love themselves more, because that's
the most important thing. Folks. If you can't, yeah, you
gotta be okay with you. You have to approve of you.
If you really want to have a happy life, I
guarantee you it's called personal mastery. You can have all
the things, the beautiful car, beautiful partner, beautiful house, beautiful travel,
(36:15):
well all those beautiful reputation, fame, fortune, all those things
that we're told will make you happy. But you can
ask Robin Williams or Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain who
did have professional mastery, but personal mastery the ability to
love yourself and love your life. That, my friends, is
(36:38):
what I think is the foundation to mental health. So
there you go. That's why we do the bottom of
the vun Thanks for joining me for breakfast. It was
a long one today, but it is so important to
start your day with gratitude, to end it with appreciation,
and then you'll standwich your day in the most positive way.
I hope you joined me for breakfast every weekday morning
(36:59):
this so you'll have a good start in your mental
health Mondays. And now for that topic of the day,
everything is awesome. It is for this particular man, this
(37:22):
particular mental health Monday show. What I thought we would
talk about is self esteem. And we've been already talking
about it. When I talk about personal mastery that it
is a harmonym. It is a or a synonym. There
we go. It's a synonym for self esteem, self good,
(37:45):
self esteem, good mental health. Are our cousins or even
children of that umbrella called mental health. So how do
you how do you improve your self esteem? Uh, it's
a topic that I can get asked to speak on
or coach in. I'm about ready because I'm not on
(38:06):
tour to start a class again. I used to have
a nice robust class on the beach teaching balance tied
you Going, which is a moving meditation that promotes inner
piece one breath at a time, and it is a practice.
It's a bliscipline, it's a good life habit, just like
taking a bite of the gratitudes, and that will keep
(38:27):
you balanced, centered and work towards your own personal mastery
and self esteem. So let's look at what the you know,
how I like to do this the definition that Google
will give me or AI will look at all the
definitions and come up with, you know, the most. I
(38:51):
don't know if it's definitely accurate all the time, but
certainly what the majority already of the information out there.
So while we're still like mostly accurate, AI is great
when when fake news and you know, forty two point
(39:12):
seven percent of all statistics are made up on the spot,
I heard that. I forget who said that, but it's
super funny to me. But I is bringing us a
compilation and self esteem. Here is the overall sense of
self worth or personal value or go personal mastery. It
(39:35):
includes feeling confident in your abilities, accepting your value, and
having a positive self image. You can improve self esteem
by setting and achieving healthy goals, focusing on positive aspects
of your life, gratitude, danwich, helping others, and spending time
with supportive people. Okay, so I accept this particular definition.
(39:57):
I hope that you have something that stood out to
you that you can sort of grasp onto. I mean
the keywords for me is positive self image and accepting
your value. You can have a positive self image. I've
met people when I do work as an organizational psychologist
(40:23):
whose names will remain anonymous to protect the guilty, who
have a very positive self image. I joke around and
I call it they have a blind faith in themselves
and you try to give them some feedback about their
impact on other people, and they don't get it. It goes
(40:45):
right over their head. And so positive self image is
not enough for good self esteem because you can think
you're all that, and when the truth is or your
impact on others, your intent is to be all that,
but your impact is way less than that. People who
(41:06):
have zero self awareness are very little self awareness, or
the people that I'm talking about, they have positive self
image of themselves, but they are not interpersonally effective. And
if you're extreme in that, there's you know, socio bath
(41:27):
I'm not a clinical psychologist. I'm an organizational psychologist. But
I had enough pre work and all of that. If
you go to the Diagnostic Manual DSM to date me,
when I went to school for my Masters in Clinical
Psyche at McMaster University, it was a DSM three. So
(41:51):
I think we're on DSM. I don't even know. I
haven't checked because I don't have to do cease. But
let me take a quick look the glare on my
fabulous studio. Hey, Siri, what's the latest DSM three. Let's
(42:12):
see if my AAI can find this quicker than I can. Oh,
it's not. Yes, I do mean the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders. That's the definition of DSM three.
(42:33):
By the way, we're at five. Okay, So in twenty
twenty two they updated it. And I bring this up
to say that if you're an extreme where you think
you're all that, and you you think you have self esteem,
but you are hurting people and you're doing things that
(42:55):
are you shouldn't be proud of, that's a there's actually
diagnoses for that. But I'm talking about normal self esteem,
where it's the opposite of perfectionism. Let's just put that
out there. If you're a perfectionist and you say to me,
(43:15):
I'm harder on myself than anyone else. I'm my own
worst critic. If I have a hundred one hundred compliments
and one criticism, I go directly to that criticism, then
my guess is that your self esteem could use some boosting.
(43:38):
My guess is that you're so hard on yourself that
you really your esteem is not very high because no
matter what you do, you are so hot on yourself
that you're constantly shooting on yourself. I shouldn't have done this,
(43:59):
I shouldn't have done that. I'm never gonna be good enough.
I'm only as good as my last accomplishment or whatever
that is. And that is someone who self esteem suffers,
but not from anyone else's criticism, but their own criticisms
of themselves. And that's a guaranteed unhappy making. So I
(44:25):
work with a lot of recovery perfectionists. I am one myself,
and my hashtag happy eighty eight challenge is if you
are identifying with what I'm saying right now, it is
time today October, Well, this will be a week later
on NBC. Let's just say for October right of twenty
(44:49):
twenty five is the first and last month where you
are so hard on yourself that you and you identify
as having low self esteem and that you are the
number one violator of your own esteem because you can't
(45:09):
give yourself a break, you can't give yourself accolades, you
can't say, you know, honey, I've done a good job today.
I've done the best that I can with the time
that I have and the resources I have. Then you're
a candidate for that hashtag Happy eighty eight challenge, which
is every single day, I want you to give yourself
a compliment. I want you to do the morning exercise,
(45:33):
the taking a bite of my gratitude sandwich, because that
bottom of the bond is so important that you acknowledge
what you're good at. That's where self esteem starts. Can
you look at yourself and say, you know, you start
with I'm not a bad person, or I'm not that
(45:54):
bad or you know, and you're talking to yourself. I know.
They say that if you hear voices in your head,
you're crazy. I'm here to tell you if you don't
address the voices in your head that are telling you
that you're not all that and that you're not going
to amount to anything and you should just give it
(46:17):
up and just stay in bed and just you know,
forget trying that voice. That's you, Okay, that's a part
of you. That's your internal critic. That's that voice in
your head that drives you crazy or as I say, well,
drive your life car over a cliff. And all of
my work is around an alignment of your life car tires. Right,
(46:42):
you're aligning yourself so that you are not driven by
that voice. You're not the critic in your head. You
are balance centered self, and you have a critic that
you can use. And you don't want to kill your critic,
because the opposite side of critic is protector. Right. If
(47:03):
you didn't have your critic, you'd have red hands from
bert hands from putting your hand on the stove, and
you'd probably be dead because you were run over by
a car when you were a git. So it's important
to have that critic. But many of us, and one
hundred percent of perfectionists have put that critic in the
life car driver's seat, and it will drive you over
a cliff because a lot of people get to I
(47:26):
think that's the birth of the midlife crisis is the voice,
that critical voice, you know, being so hard on yourself
that you go to the other extreme and go, you
know what, screw you, critic, I'm going to do whatever.
And then the brat takes over, and then you buy
(47:47):
a corvette or whatever, you know, get into dangerous sports
because the brat, which is the one who says, what
do you mean I gotta apologize? Or what do you
mean I can't have that Krispy Kreme donut again, the
brat is not who you are, but it is a
part of who you are. And if you let your
brat take over, you have a full blown midlife crisis
(48:08):
and you, you know, shirk your responsibilities, take off and
you know, hook up with someone usually much younger than
yourself or whatever. That thing is not taking responsibility at all.
But the balance and the solution to that is you're
not the brat whose opposite side is fun so you
don't want to kill them, and you're not the critic
(48:30):
whose opposite side is protector and you don't want to
kill them. But balance centered self. I have balance centered
Doctor Mersa is the one that drives the life car
and knows that the critic belongs in the passenger seat,
and the brat belongs in the back seat diagonal where
I can see them. So that is the foundation to
(48:55):
good self esteem, is to know who you are and
to like who you are.
Speaker 7 (49:02):
It is so.
Speaker 2 (49:02):
Important to like who you are. Now some of you
will say, but doctor Marissa, I don't like who I am.
I am too fat, I am not smart, I am lazy,
I am to what's that word impulsive. I've done things
(49:30):
in my past that I'm really embarrassed and ashamed of,
and I just can't like myself. I try, I look
in the mirror, I do my affirmations, I tell myself
I'm beautiful, and then I'm just like, like, who are
we fooling? Or it'll work for a day and then
the next day, you know, giants it on your face
(49:52):
and there's no way I can approve of myself. I
don't like myself. So, doctor Marissa, I will never have
self esteem. And my response to that is two words.
Stop it. Come on, folks, you've never done anything in
your life that you are happy or proud with. I
(50:16):
don't believe you unless you are Jeffrey Dahmer or you
know someone who's Epstein. You know whoever those examples of
people who have made the news as horrific people, I
don't even want to go there. I'm talking about you.
I'm talking about your own ability to acknowledge and practice
(50:41):
seeing you for who you really are, and who you
really are is one of a kind, wonderful period end
of story or beginning of story. And you know, but
I get you. Let's put the moose on the table.
(51:02):
Sixteen and a half years ago, I did not like
myself at all. Was in the middle of a horrible
divorce that cost me millions of dollars, and I, you know,
lots of things were happening on the outside that were horrific.
I don't even want to go in the examples because
(51:23):
they're so horrible. Those of you heard my story. Those
of you haven't heard my story, you can hear it
in this free audiobook that I'm giving today from Eight
Ways to Happiness from wherever you are. That book is
not as a psychologist telling you how to be happy.
It's my story as well as duels to get out
(51:44):
of that, which is what the show's about. So the
number one thing you want more self esteem, you have
to stop seeing yourself through the glasses of regret, shame, blame, right,
And there's one chapter on exactly that, like regret and shame,
(52:11):
like your inability to forgive yourself of something you've done
in the past, will keep you from forgiving people around
you as well. And it's a guaranteed no happy zone.
If you're angry and in a state of pistoffedness most
of the time, you will not be happy. So the
(52:35):
first person to cut some slack for is your self.
If you're constantly focused on things that you shouldn't have said,
shouldn't have done, done in the past that you regret
or are embarrassed or shameful about, that's the work, okay,
because every single one of us does the very best
(52:58):
that we can with the resources and the time we
have at that time. So if I look back in
my leg there's some things that I am not proud
of that I did, And if I continue to live
in the space that brings those memories up and I
use it to bash myself on the head or that,
(53:19):
you know, wherever, I'm going to spend the rest of
my life in mental and emotional anguish and pain. And
a lot of my clients are in that hell right now,
and the only person that can help you out of
that personal hell is yourself. You have to work that
(53:40):
muscle that says, you know, I'm not perfect, but I'm
pretty darn good. I started the show with I'm eighty
eight percent fabulous. Twelve percent of the time I step
in it, but eighty eight percent of the time I'm
carrying a lot of the time. When I see some
one that is going through some pain and going through
(54:04):
some temporary darkness, I do most people, will, you know,
stop and go are you okay? That's a caring gesture.
And I don't know one person on the planet who
hasn't done that at least one time. Okay, and I
know that you've done it more than once. So you're
a caring person. So celebrate that you're a loving person.
(54:27):
You have at least even if you don't love humans.
If you have a dog or a cat, and I
know people who love their dogs and their cats, you
know you're a loving person even if you don't like people.
I know I'm reaching deep, but there's always something that
you can be grateful for that you are about. You
(54:48):
know people, Oh, I'm going to lose my job, I'm horrible.
I keep getting fired Da da da da da. Well
let me balance it out now. Self esteem also, you
can improve your self esteem by doing esteemable acts. I
love that expression. Self esteem through esteemable acts. Now, if
(55:11):
you're a person that doesn't keep your word, you're constantly
letting your self down. Not only so when you say
you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, if
you say you're going to help someone with something. If
you say you're going to be somewhere and you're not
there because at the last minute you feel so badly
about yourself that you don't want to get out of bed,
(55:34):
guess what, you are hurting your own self esteem because
the number one way to feel and be more esteemable
is to act on your own behalf esteem for esteemable acts. So,
if you're someone who is beating yourself up because New
(55:57):
Year's resolutions, you always fall off the beam, well join
everybody like no one is perfect around that. But as
long as you those expressions right, doesn't matter how many
times you fall, It doesn't matter how many times you
pick yourself up again. And if you your word, that's
(56:19):
your your esteem right. I'm gonna you know, take a
walk every day for my health. And let's say you
start really gangbusters and you know you're walking like a
mile or whatever, and then you stop altogether. Uh, and
then you feel bad right about stopping that. I'm not
(56:40):
telling you to go oh yay, I messed up and
I don't do that anymore. And I stay in bed
for and I don't take a shower, and I don't
clean the house, and I don't take care of my kids.
Am I asking you to feel good about that? No,
esteam is through a steamabile ass. If you're not acting
on your own behalf, if you're not your own word,
(57:01):
well that's where we start, right. Don't make promises you
can't keep number one, and to start small. Do something
that you can do, and when you start coaching yourself.
That's a way. When I do coaching, I ask people
to find something that they enjoy doing and they reward themselves.
It's you being the boss of you right that your
(57:26):
ability to act on your own behalf. It's not a
light switch. It takes time to practice that muscle of
keeping your word to yourself and when you do that,
the esteem grows. That's self esteem. It's not a you know,
I'm you know, I've spent how many years thinking I'm
(57:48):
a piece of shadaki right, waking up having a fat
and ugly attack. And I've practiced this habit over and
over and over for so many years. You can't turn
on a dime, right, you have to begin practicing. Today.
I'm going to do something little. I am going to
brush my teeth today. I'm going to do something little.
(58:11):
I am going to wake up at the first time
the alarm goes off instead of hitting snooze. Today, I'm
going to meditate not for an hour, but just two
minutes by putting a two minute timer down and just
closing my eyes and breathing in through the nose and
out through the mouth. Today, I'm going to just sit
(58:32):
and write for one minute or two minutes. Today, I'm
going to watch one less series or today, I am
going to compliment someone instead of criticizing them. Today, I'm
going to do whatever I can that feels good. That's
(58:57):
my commitment to myself, and I'm out of time. I
don't know how I do that, But hopefully you got
something from all of this for your own self esteem,
because that is my job. Happy eighty eight Mission eighty
eight million for the next eight years of people who
are eighty eight percent happy. Thanks for joining me this morning.
It's all about balance, piece in piece out world peace
(59:20):
through inner piece. Now go and have the best day ever.
I'll see you tomorrow Tuesday Talent with Brenda Dieger. Thanks
for joining me today.
Speaker 3 (59:39):
You're listening to KCAA, your good neighbor along the Ways.
Hey you yeah, you do? You know where you are? Well,
you've done it. Now you're listening to KCAA Lom Linda,
your CNBC news station, so expect the unexpected.
Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
You're listening to the Tehibo Tea Club radio show hosted
by
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