December 3, 2025 • 60 mins
KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa on Wed, 3 Dec, 2025
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Us the time of day.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
To volved at exhausting amster wheel and into balanced living
with Doctor.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Marissa from Miss Joy.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Doctor Marissa, also known as the Asian Oprah. Her mission
to be a beneficial presence on the planet, her purpose
to be your personal advocate, to live, lap love, learn
her life motto, don't die wondering. Take back your life
with Doctor Maurissa Pey.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
And welcome you tuned into take my advice, I'm not
using it. Get balanced with Doctor Marissa. The Morning Joe,
You're on gay AA, NBC News, CNBC News, NBC Sports
Radio station AM ten fifty f M one oh six
point five, home to the Asian Oprah number one talking
(00:55):
the ie every weekday morning at eight am Pacific time. Yes,
I'm back for drive time and I'm so glad that
I get to accompany you to work, which is not
a bad place if we focus on what is good
and we have a good morning already. From one of
(01:15):
the Sorority sisters, it is time for Doctors in the
house with myself and Doctor Tiffany Tate. You all know
who she is. She's a Navy veteran, OBGYN certified songwriter,
(01:36):
singer running for Congress, Peach Cobbler maker, I'm doing the
highlights that I really, you know, enjoy and the published
author started with poetry and now has a complete collection
of children's books. So welcome back to doctor Tiffany Tay
(02:06):
and you know that this is peace Central. I'll say
that this is a show where we will not talk
about the headlines, or if you're looking for them, please
go somewhere else. Not that I don't want you to
stay here, but we do not talk about anything that
leaves you with the four a's anxious, afraid, angry, or annoyed. Instead,
I want you to feel amazing. So I have topics
(02:28):
and guests and co hosts to that, and and we
start every weekday morning with a good life habit called breakfast,
not the one with calories, but one that'll end up
making you feel better. Top of the button of taking
a bite of my gratitude sandwich is what are we
grateful for outside of ourselves? And bottom of the button,
(02:49):
looking inside ourselves, what do we appreciate about ourselves? So,
doctor Tiffany, what are you grateful for this morning?
Speaker 4 (02:58):
I am grateful for discernment, Yes, discernment, because a lot
of times we think we know something and we don't
necessarily know well. And some people you are willing to
stop your life for, you're willing to sacrifice for, and
(03:19):
you're willing to drop everything for a fly all over
the country for give for donate to which is great,
or just give to And I think it's good. But
if you are willing to do all these things for
them and they're not even willing to take time out
make a phone call, give thirty minutes or an hour
(03:42):
of their time for you at your lowest point, that
makes you go. And I think when people show you
who they are, you should believe it.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
So that is more so the bottom of the button.
And I wanted to and this is you know, this
is the great thing about our show is that it's
good to be real about where you are. And I
do that all the time. Usually I'm the one that's
doing it. Doctor Tiffany's starting us off with that, which
(04:17):
is good. She's obviously releasing something right now, which is good.
I'll do my traditional gratitude of things outside of myself,
and that is I am grateful that sirens go off
anytime we're talking on the show on something that is true.
(04:37):
So that was your siren. I am also grateful that
my kids are down for Thanksgiving and getting everything prepared
for the big Turkey day tomorrow. I'm actually hosting, so
I get to make all of the favorites, and I
look forward to that of them remembering their own Thanksgivings
(04:58):
when they were kids. And I use grape soda from
a recipe from my manicurist friend who I've known for
twenty eight years, and it makes the turkey very tender,
So I'm grateful I have a great recipe. I am
not allergic to the kitchen as I was in my past,
(05:19):
and I look forward to having all the bounty. I'm
grateful that I have stores that I can go to
to pick up stuff, and you know all of that. Really,
sometimes we take for granted stuff around the holidays. What
are you grateful for?
Speaker 4 (05:33):
I'm grateful for stretching pants just in time for Thanksgiving,
because you know, when you get to eat, you're fool
and you don't have to worry about you know, as
your belly kind of stretches out, you can still stay comfortable.
Back in the old days, when your pants were stretched,
you have to unbuckle them. You don't have to worry
about those.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Oh I A good one. That's a very good one.
A great, great gratitude for wretching pants. Yes, I do
remember the buckle. Just yeah, just remember you know, we
don't have to eat everything we have, even though in
my home, as soon as you cut or unwrap something,
(06:13):
the calories disappear. That's the BS that I choose to believe.
Let's see. I am grateful for cars that can bring
my daughters from San Francisco and that I can drive.
I love my car. My kids aren't crazy about it
because they don't think it's safe enough. But I love
my little mos demioda convertible that looks like a panda
(06:36):
because it's black and white. One more gratitude.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
I am great grateful for heated and weighted blankets because
you can kind of snuggle up with those and they
are perfect to just take a nice long nap and
it's just like being bundled in love.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Ah great, I'm gonna go to the bottom of the button.
Which is what do I like about myself? It's called
weight training for your own house. A lot of us
are very hard on ourselves. I'm a recovery perfectionist myself,
which means that it was very difficult for me to
be happy. I was always saying I'll be happy when,
(07:17):
be happy when, and when would never come, or if
it came, it went, and then I was on to
the next thing. So I want everybody to claim their
birthright to be happy eighty eight percent of the time.
So that means I gotta look like myself.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
What do I like about myself and go to bed
night thinking about that instead of I don't like about myself,
what I don't like about you? So I like that
I can be a cheerleader for hope and happiness, that
I'm known for it, that I'm I'm good at it
eighty eight percent of the time, and that is what
(07:56):
I get to be for the.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Rest of my life.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
I like the fact that I was asked if I
owned a banking company. I thought that was the cutest thing. Oh,
and I went to a pot love and I took
some of my I brought some of my bake goods
and they when they had a sample, I had them
nicely packaged and they were like, oh, do you own
(08:22):
a banking company? And I said, no, I do not.
I was so flattered and they were like, oh, these
are really good. I brought caramel corn and my chocolate
caramel chocolate chip cookies and they they were impressed, and
(08:43):
needless to say, you haven't had those. You've only had
the peach cobbler.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
And with that, that's because you haven't had the I
don't doubt it. I don't doubt it, but honestly, it's
just because i've I'm not I didn't grow up in
a culture that actually had a lot of cookies and cake. Right.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Well, I'm a caramel kid. I love anything caramel.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Okay, well caramel corn I'll have. So you made caramel
korn from scratch?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Yeah, yeah, I make my own caramel. Yes, I made
homemade caramel corn.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I stand corrected. I will maybe absolutely love that too,
and so yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
So they they were like, oh my goodness, do you
do you own a business? Well, yeah, I own a business,
but not a baking business. But I was like, hmmm,
that might be something that I'll do in the future.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
So it might be. Well, you were a contestant on
a cooking show when you first started with me, Yes,
so there you go. I appreciate my fashion inner fashionist stuff,
and like you, people will ask not if I'm a
(09:53):
cook or baking company. But if I'm a fashion designer,
so I take that as a compliment as well, and
I'll say thank you. No, I'm actually a psychologist, but
I definitely love my sense of style, and I love
There's nothing, there's only one thing better than seeing something
(10:17):
out that you want to buy, and you buy it
and you just love it so much, and then you
bring it home. And the double love it so much
is when you find something in your closet that you
weren't trying to match but matches perfectly with the thing
that you just bought. I'm sorry. That's better than a
good date for me. That is definitely you know one
(10:37):
of those yeah mini minios.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
You coordinate.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yeah, I love that. I love that. Go ahead.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I remember when Nathaniel and Mia were in elementary school,
and at this point I was at Vanderbilt in residency,
and I volunteered so much at their school, and I
was a resident, working like, you know, sixty eighty hour
a week, and they actually thought I was a stay
at home mom.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Wow, right, Because I.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Budgeted my time and my sleep is such a way
that no matter what, I always spent so much time
at the school volunteering, and it was hilarious because they
were like, well, are you a stay at home mom?
And I like the fact that I prioritize my time
in such a way that I'm going to put the
(11:35):
people whom I love first, and if you are fortunate
to be one of the people I love, I'm going
to prioritize you. And I like that about me that
I can and quality time is my love language, and
I like the fact that I can identify and you
(11:56):
can have mixed love languages, but I like the fact
that I can identify my love language and I can
prioritize my time accordingly, because a lot of people don't
necessarily know how to love, know how to be loved,
and know how to prioritize their time accordingly.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And that nice necklace, by the way.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
It was given to me by someone who I feel
very happy to be loved by and appreciated by.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yes, that was from the hippie market in Brazil, in Brazilia,
so it's a tuto bang and it looks fabulous on you,
if I do say so myself. I was waiting for
you to I just noticed it as you were talking.
I'm glad you didn't pointed out, that's very nice. That's it.
That's a good breakfast right now, because we've got a
(12:48):
pretty big topic coming up. Thanks you for joining us
for breakfast. I am absolutely certain that if you adopt
this good life practice, especially the bottom of the before
you go to bed, one you're gonna have a better
night's sleep. And two, if you're feeling a little uncomfortable
that it sounded like both doctor Tiffany and I were
(13:09):
tooting our own horn. That says to me that there's
some work to be done. Because frankly, my dear, if
you can't approve of yourself, how the fork do you
expect anybody else to approve of you? And in these
days where people are saying they admit they are lonely,
they're sad, they're depressed, the one person that has to
(13:31):
be on your side, that has to be your biggest
cheerleader is you. The buckstops right over here. So please
do practice this and see if you can't get over
your discomfort in talking good about yourself. Lord knows we're
comfortable with talking bad about ourselves and others, but I
(13:51):
want to you know, especially this season. All right, thank
you for joining us for breakfast every weekday morning. I'm
here to do so with you. Just free subscribe on
my YouTube TV channel where we broadcast live every weekday
morning and Wednesdays with Doctor Tiffany. Thanks for joining us
for breakfast. And now for the topic of the day, Anny,
(14:25):
what is the topic of the day.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
The topic of the day is gratitude and love. Love
and gratitude. Gratitude and love because we are approaching the
season of Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving is about gratitude, gratefulness, and
this is the season, the season where we should be
(14:49):
grateful and appreciate family, love, friendship, fellowship and all that
funfilled brolicliness. I think I'm made word frolically mess.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Uh huh, I'm rubbing off on you.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
It's beautiful people, It's all good. So as we as
we come together, I thought this would be a good
time to just talk about friendship, fellowship, family and all
the positive things because right now we live in a
special world. It's upside down. Spin it around, so let's
(15:26):
smack it, flip it up, and rub it down.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
I knew that was coming. I just knew that was coming.
Mom tease in the house, and uh, do you mind,
Doctor Tiva I'm getting that little bit of an echo, so.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
It might be my heater. Let me turn my heater down.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Okay, but mom teasa with her love definitely, that is
the love we're talking about for today's topic. It's funny
when you said gratitude and love. There's not that song
Joel and pain. No, that wasn't the wrong one. But
(16:05):
there is some pain and love. Sometimes love hurts. That
is not a that's not a BS. It's a belief
system that's actually sometimes true. But we're gonna talk about
all of that. Please do share us right now because
we are live. If you know anyone that needs a
little more your aratitude and love or both, please have
(16:27):
them join us. It's always more fun when we're interacting
with our cash you gallery as I call it. So
and we're not approaching doctor Tiffany. We're in the c
sun right.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Right, We're in the midst of it. But you know
what I found, sixty of people report feeling thankful at
least once a day.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Really, well, you can. It's like one of those if
you're happy, let your face know, like if you're if
you're grateful, let your mouth know. Because I don't I
don't hear that. When I go out, all I hear
is complaining the traffic, the holiday. That probably said that
that the government that it's like.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Talk to them.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
I don't want to live in my bubble mm hm.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
And about three quarters of people say that they feel
thankful on most days, So statistically, the odds are ever
in our.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Favor, then I'm attracting the wrong kind of people. So
I gotta look at myself, right.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
So if we look at what's going on in the
world negatively, the the news is bad, but internally we're
doing all right. So I think that's a good thing.
And Americans we say thank you about six times a day.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
That's great. That's great. Doctor Wayne Dyer said five things
every morning, and that will steep your life in a
lot of good things. I say eight because I'm an
overachiever and it's a homophone for good fortune. In Chinese,
Ba is eight fa is good fortune. So eight things
(18:26):
in the morning we do it between us, I think
for breakfast and whoever's in the gallery. So yeah, we're
doing good. We're above average.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
We are we are. And family is the most common
source of gratitude, with eighty four percent of Americans reporting
thankfulness for their family. Now you may look at your
family with the side eye and be like, I don't
think I'm really thankful for you today. Well, it might
be at that moment, depending on what they're doing at
(18:57):
that moment, but it's the test they are on your
side statistically. Now, we didn't say one hundred percent. Okay,
we're just talking about eighty four percent.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Eighty four Yeah, And this is a discipline. It is
not easy to focus on the family members who are great.
We have a tendency if we have eight great family
members and two problem children. We focus on those two
problem children, whether they're adult or children, and we talk
(19:32):
about them and we worry about them and we're afraid
for them or we're angry at them, and then it
really doesn't matter about the eight that are good, because
all your focus is on that negativity that's on us.
And one of the things we do on this show
is try to get you to work that muscle of
choice to focus on the people that are great, that
(19:53):
are doing good things, that are you know, the ones
that you're naturally grateful for, and then the one that
you're not naturally grateful for. You might want to take
your eyes off of them. That's not so easy.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Absolutely, and then sixty nine percent says it's their health,
sixty three percent says their friends, and then another sixty
three memories. So a lot of times people will reflect
and be like, oh, I remember when we had a
good time there, or I remember that friend so reminiscing,
or I'm thankful for doctor Marissa. She's like saying, I'm
(20:31):
thankful for doctor Tiffany. And whatever toots your horn or
floats your boat, it's.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Good, right, yeah, yeah it. You know, people ask me
all the time, why are you so positive? And I
wish I could come up with a more scientific answer,
but frankly, my dear, it just feels better when I
look for the best in someone. If I look for
the best in the situation, I use IC a lot,
(21:01):
which stands for it could be worse. And whatever situation
you're in, you have a choice. You can look at
the things that are working or the things that are
not working. Relationships, your car, your body, your work, whatever
it is. That's always your choice.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Right, it goes better, absolutely absolutely. And then you look
at how you love one another, how you treat one another,
how you respect one another, how you show up for
one another, the quality of the relationships. Those make a
big difference. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
I want to talk to moms for a second, because
both of us are moms and mom Ty's mom and
nineteen twenty m Jack is a mom. I think she
is okay, So let's do a special This is my
special message right now, A holiday message for moms. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza.
(22:10):
All those who host I'm hosting tomorrow, you're hosting tomorrow.
The holidays can be a little stressful because you want
to make everybody happy all the time. I mean, I'm
a recovering codependent. I was brought up being told that
if I made someone happy, thank you for that thumbs up,
(22:31):
or that thanks for giving me the finger, this one
not the other one. We're told, you know, if you
did this or you did that, I will be happy.
And hopefully you've learned now that you can't make people happy.
That's their choice, and that the validation for Am I
a good hostess? Am I? You know? I have both
(22:54):
of my daughters here, and you know I want them
to be happy. But at some point I can't keep
asking them like you know, what is you know, how
can I make you happy. Plus, am I a good mom?
And during the holidays, when you're surrounded by a lot
of family, am I a good family? Am I a
(23:14):
good person? And I want us to anchor ourselves in
the knowledge and the true belief and the truth is
is that I'm a good mom eighty eight percent of
the time, and I did a good job. I can
even say I did a great job as a mom.
(23:36):
Sometimes I was a mom and a dad, a single mom,
you know, so I call it my mamily. And I
really did the best that I could with the time
that I had and the resources at and I worked
my assets off, literally lost quite a few of those
in the divorce process. And I know that my kids
(23:57):
would have preferred not to have been through that, but
I know that that has also helped them develop skills
and qualities in adversity, and that I have to remember
that I'm a good mom most of the time, no
matter what happens this holiday, no matter what happens when
someone says something you don't like, no matter what happens,
(24:19):
that anchoring of the love for oneself is the most
important thing in the holidays, actually all the time, but
especially during the holidays. And if you can hear that
and anchor that and really embrace that, you're gonna have
the best holiday ever.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Absolutely, even if you show up imperfectly, the most important
thing is that you show up, because the love is
what people remember. People may not remember what you said
or what you did, but they definitely remember how you
(25:03):
made them feel.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Yes, and this is going to be one of those
times where we don't exactly see even though I think
we're talking at different angles here. But the point I'm
trying to make is I don't really care first and
foremost how you feel. If I'm coming from the best
place that I can. Your feelings are your business, right,
(25:33):
And so let's say I, I, you know, prepared the meal.
If I did everything that I you know, and you
still have a problem with me and you don't feel good, right,
that's not on me.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Yes, Yes, I completely get you. I'm coming from the
perspect You're coming from the perspective like you got it,
you have an attitude, And I'm coming from the perspective like, oh,
we love each other, so I'm showing you love and
we're showing love and support. You're coming from the perspective
like you have an attitude. I have an attitude, and
(26:10):
that's that's your issue, that we have an attitude, and
I can respect that. So yes, if we both want
to have an attitude, that's fine. We can both have
an attitude, and let's respect the fact that we both
have attitudes. And if that's going to be it, go
to each respective ring and ding ding ding. You stay
in your corner, I say, in my corner. And I
think that that's okay, because in all honesty, all the
chaos was love disguised as bad decisions, and we can
(26:35):
all just sit there and bad decisions the official flavor
of Thanksgiving, and sometimes it's like that, and unfortunately, when
we deal with that, we'll just have to realize it
and live with it, because I think that's something we forget.
Love doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to
(26:57):
be real.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Okay, And let's just put the moose on the table,
which is my version of talking about the elephant in
the room. If you're listening right now, I know that
doctor Tiffany has a certain scenario in her head that
she's talking from, and I also have a certain scenario
that I'm talking from, and neither one of us have
talked about the particulars, and so it sounds like we're
(27:22):
disagreeing where we're actually agreeing. Yes, yes, I got that
now when you're talking. So I think your statement is
absolutely right on the ball. Is that love is not
you know, always that feeling of oh I love you
(27:43):
so much and no warmut fuzzies. That sometimes it's tough
love and sometimes it's you can love someone and just
not feel very loving towards them at that moment, which
is okay, doesn't feel okay. And that's a good expectation
to look at. You know, if you think that if
you if you know, if you loved me, you wouldn't
(28:04):
have said that. If you love me, you wouldn't have
done that, that's an unrealistic expectation. That's nice that that's
not possible because we are human, right, So yeah, that's
a good moos to put on the table. And holidays
don't always bring out the best in people because everybody's
(28:26):
operating on their own, you know, sadness or anxiety or
you know. I have a little Happy eighty eight tool
called dysfunctional bingo family dysfunctional bingo, And I would get
together with my girlfriend and we'd go out for dinner
(28:47):
and we'd sit down and put the moose on the
Bingo card and say, well, you know, this person's going
to ask you, you know, why have you gained so
much weight? Or this person's going to ask you when
are you gonna get married? Or this person's gonna ask
you you know, uh, you shouldn't have got a divorce
or whatever it is. It's gonna push your button. So
(29:10):
if you go into the holidays knowing that that might happen,
you can defuse that first by making a game out
of it. And then my girlfriend I'll do it and
whoever has the hight score but gets dinner bought after
the holidays. So there, you know, let's be real, which
we do on the show about love, right and gratitude.
(29:34):
We're not always going to be thankful for the people
in our family, right.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
We are not. No, no, we are not.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
But yeah, but we're gonna have some fun coming back
to talk more about this. It is time to take
a break for news. Weather in traffic here on k
c AAAM ten fifty FM one O six Foife five
the station no listener behind. My name's doctor Marissa. This
is take my advice. I'm not using a gip Balance
(30:07):
with me on Straight On Doctors in the House with myself.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
And doctor Tiffany Tate.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
We will be right back. Don't go away with more
after We're from our sponsored news, weather and traffic piece
it Pisa.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Take Back your Life with doctor Maurie.
Speaker 6 (30:48):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
My name is doctor Tiffany Tate and I am running
for a California's fortieth district for the US House of Representatives.
You want to visit my website and learn more about me.
I am a veteran of the United States Navy. I
served as a general medical officer for the CBS during
the Global War on Terrorism. I understand health care policy.
(31:12):
You want someone who can help make a change and
make a difference for the care of your family, your friends,
and you elect me Doctor Tiffany Tate, physician, author, entrepreneur.
Please visit my website at doctor Tate for Congress. That
is d R T A T E F O R
(31:33):
C O N G R E S S dot com.
Support me so I can support you again. My name
is doctor Tiffany Tate and I am running for California's
fortieth seat. Visit my website at doctor Tate for Congress.
My name doctor Tiffany Tate, thank you for.
Speaker 7 (31:50):
Your well She has been dubbed the Asian Oprah and
she just wants all of us to be happy.
Speaker 8 (32:05):
Doctor Marissa aka the Asian Oprah says, the most important
thing you can choose is choosing to be happy.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show
called Take My Advice. I'm not using it.
Speaker 9 (32:18):
Get Balanced with Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 7 (32:32):
That's the idea for it. Doctor Marissa Pay's new book
call Eight Ways to Be Happy.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Many of us say, I am my own worst critic.
Nobody's harder on me than I am. And my response
to that is stop it. Why are you doing that
to yourself? You have to be your biggest fan, because
if you can't, at the end of the day say
I did a good job, who is You don't have
(32:58):
to constantly be an the things that are wrong.
Speaker 10 (33:01):
Why don't we choose to be happy about things that
are right.
Speaker 11 (33:05):
We have the choice.
Speaker 10 (33:06):
That's our muscle, and life is so amazing if we
can see it.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurica.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Pey and we're back. You're doing to take my advice,
I'm not using it. Get Balanced with Doctor Marissa. The
Morning Show Here on kazyaa NBC news radio home to
the Asian Oprah number one talking the Ie. Thank you
very much, and streaming everywhere iHeartRadio, Spotify, and of course
(33:55):
my show Central on my YouTube TV channel now over
four point two million impressionss thank you very much, seven
hundred and eight consecutive weeks. Those who said a show
that didn't talk about politics or headlines wouldn't last over
a year, we're kind of wrong. Thirteen and three quarters
(34:17):
a year later, I am still here and so happy
that you are here with me, streaming live every weekday morning,
especially Wednesday mornings when we have our very special series
called Doctors in the House with myself and doctor Tiffany Tate.
(34:38):
She's a Navy veteran, a published author at obgyn, and
now running for Congress. As you heard, she is my hostess,
co hostess with the Mostess.
Speaker 12 (34:51):
Please welcome back to the studio, doctor Tiffany day, the
topic of the day.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
Is gratitude and love. And you know what I tell
my kids all the time is that you cannot help
who you are related to, so pick your friends wisely.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Yes, I do have family of choice as well. In fact,
my bonus dad Graham Martin will be turning ninety six
on Friday, So happy Boothday, dear Papa, Happy boosday to you,
(35:38):
Happy birthday.
Speaker 6 (35:39):
I love.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Yeah, I'm gonna cut that piece and send it to him.
Doctor Tiffany has picked the topic of gratitude and love
and we got into we got into it before the
break in a loving way, looking at the imperfection of
love and the challenge of being grateful sometimes. So any other.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
Statistics, Well, no, it's just basically that when you are
trying to work through things, it can sometimes be a
challenge for people.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
And when people are struggling, they're looking for support. And
I think when people don't know what to do, they
seek support from the people around them.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Yes, I'm doing a I forgot to put up our
story so on Instagram, And how does that apply to.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Us?
Speaker 4 (36:52):
And so when you when you're trying to figure out
how often people fall in love or look for love,
there's no good an on the frequency of something on
something like that. So that was the interesting thing. But
(37:14):
when it comes to thanksgiving and gratitude, you can look
at how that brings relationships closer together. And when you
look at families coming together you see people trying to
rush and clean up in preparation for preparing their homes
(37:37):
to entertain. As I'm sure you prepared your home for
your children coming over, as Mia and I prepare the
home for families coming here. And so it helps as
you prepare to cook and clean together for the holidays,
you have to treasure that special time with your significant other.
(37:58):
If you lack a significant other.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
I have an insignificant other.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Yes, that helps too. So you can.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Give those bumped things as a thing.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
That would be more sound effects, and so you treasure.
Oh I like that. So you treasure your family and
your friends. Because love doesn't always have to be loud.
It can be like in the tiny things that you do.
And I think a lot of times we need to
(38:33):
treasure the tiny things that we do to show people
that we care. And I think that that's important when
we are showing love towards one another, whether it be
with our family, our friends, and our insignificant others.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Significant No, I like the insignificant all right, I just
tagged you. I wanna. I know this is a little
bit odd. I shouldn't be doing relationship coaching. I do
do it as part of my happiness work, even though
I'm not in a relationship. But then then again, the
(39:11):
name of the show is take my advice. I'm not
using it, but I have a formula. People ask me
all the time, like, it shouldn't be that difficult, right,
if you're in love and you're together, it shouldn't be
that difficult. It shouldn't be that much work. And I
think that that is accurate. You know, people always say, oh,
(39:32):
relationships are so hard, Like if I had a dollar
for every time I heard that, It's like, okay, fine,
then why would I want one?
Speaker 12 (39:40):
Right?
Speaker 3 (39:40):
But my formula is eighty percent. If you like being
with and having a relationship with that person eighty percent
of the time, eighty percent of the time you're with them,
you're happy, right, then that's a pretty good relationship. But
a lot of people are looking for that one hundred percent,
(40:02):
and I don't believe. Maybe you'll disagree with me or
agree with me. Eighty percent I think is the top,
maybe eighty eight percent, But you cannot one hundred percent
of the time be happy someone. I think there's something wrong,
which is one of the reasons I have difficult having
a relationship because I do carry that bs that belief system. Unfortunately,
(40:23):
because of the trauma that I went through both as
a child and then it's very common for people who
have gone through trauma to pick a mate who continues
the trauma comeoniciously. So I think both of us did that.
So I I don't want to speak for you, but
that is it's hard for me to disagree and have
(40:45):
conflict in a relationship because that just throws me back
into the darkness of what I grew up with. That's
my stuff. Oh I almost wore that's my tact right,
that's what I have to work so being able to
acknowledge that that person is not perfect and twenty percent
(41:06):
of the time they're going to drive you crazy, but
eighty percent of the time they're fabulous. That's a good relationship.
But then I have people that come and say more
women sorry that I'll say, oh no, I'm happy with
them eighty percent of the time. But then they spend
the rest of the hour talking about what drives them crazy,
(41:28):
about their insignificant or significant other. It's like, no, you're focused.
Your twenty percent has now become one hundred percent. That's
on you. If you're eighty percent happy, why are you
focusing on the twenty that is just normal, that makes
you unhappy.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
I think it's important. Yeah, I think that you have
to enjoy those precious moments because those precious moments become memories,
and they should be spent with those who you love
the most. And as we enter this holiday season, time
(42:09):
is the only resource that is not renewable, people, and
so you need to treasure whom you spend your time
with and prioritize it accordingly. And you're a significant, insignificant person,
whether it be friend, whether it be family, give your
time with the person you want to be with. And
(42:33):
I think that that's what you should do. And when
you spend time with your Thanksgiving coworkers, your Thanksgiving friends,
your Thanksgiving family, give it out of your spirit so
that you feel comfortable. And like doctor Marsa said, if
(42:53):
it's that eighty percent, that's great, but your time is
a non renewable energy and non renewable source, and you
have to do it accordingly and appropriately. And so I
think that as long as you feel fulfilled, and you
feel satisfied to eighty eight percent of the time and
(43:15):
you are being energized and fulfilled, go for it.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
Yeah, I want to go to a very important comment
made in our cashier gallery by the Captain. You can
love but not like the person's personality. I think of family,
you know, like you were saying, you can't choose your family.
You can love people in your family, but not like
(43:43):
their personality and or their choices. But what if it
is I mean, if it's a friend. I just don't
understand how you can love a friend and not like
their personality.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Get me, maybe there could be aspects of it. So say,
for instance, like you said, you may not like all
aspects of their personalities, maybe there's pieces of it that
that you're not feeling, or maybe aspects of it, like
maybe for the most part they're good, but sometimes they're selfish,
(44:21):
or but they're not selfish all the time, or for
the most part they're great, but every now and again
they do just a little quirk that might get to
you and you're like, okay, but they don't do it
all the time, and you're like, okay, well we can
go out. But then when they do that one thing,
I'll bring it up and say hey, maybe you shouldn't
(44:41):
do that, and you're like, okay, well we can. We
can work around it because for the most part they're okay,
and so.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, I think maybe is this see Queen with a
different okay?
Speaker 4 (44:54):
I thought so that that's your usual captain's cashiw gallery.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Yes, but but you's got to different handle today, so
Ze queen, you put tolerance so without outing whoever you're
talking about? Is it a friend or family? And is
is the is the choice because of what doctor Tiffany
just said, it's a twenty percent thing, and that aspect
(45:20):
of their personality, I guess I took it as their
entire personality. You don't like them, why would you be
with them or why would you call them a friend
or why would you spend time with them? I can
understand there are people in my family where I do
not like their personality in totality, like there's like they're
(45:42):
some of their personality completely overshadows all the rest of them. Right,
it's not an aspect of the present, their whole personality
and I don't like them right now as a family member.
Do I have to love them.
Speaker 4 (45:59):
So or what if they get loud every you know,
every now and then when they're talking or they talk
and then yeah, and then they every periodically they get
very loud and you know, over shouts everybody, and you're like, hey,
you know, do you really have to do that. You know,
maybe you should tone it down a little bit. And so,
because I have some family members and you know, we
(46:19):
have big mouth people in my family, I'm not gonna
say who they are, because you know, they might eventually
listen to the show. You know, I have some big
mouth people in my family, and so maybe from time
to time they might get a little rambunctious. They need
to maintain low tones, but they don't always do that.
(46:42):
And I definitely love them, and I'm not gonna stop
being around them. I'm not gonna not claim them as family,
but I think that you still want to own them,
you still want to be around them, but you kind
of give them the side eye from time to time.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
M h.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
And yeah, she just clarified for me, Ze Queen, thank you. Friends,
we can leave family we have to deal with that's
the tolerance. If I don't like someone's personality, I wouldn't
spend time with them. And you know, that's one of
the things that does happen at holidays. People that you
don't normally spend time with you will spend time with them.
You have to. And I guess my point with the
(47:24):
dysfunctional bingo is family. Just putting the fun back into
this function is that if it is family members and
there is something that annoys you about them, try to
look at the things that don't annoy you about them.
And if you can't do that, just don't look at them, like,
don't put yourself in harms way. Necessarily, I had someone
(47:48):
say something beautiful to me, and I wish I could
give them credit, but they told me when I knew,
when they knew I was going to go into a
very highly negatively charged family situation where I was going
to get like verbally beat up. Just it happens every
year kind of thing. She said to put flowers all
(48:08):
over me, so when people picked on me, they would
get a flower, which I thought was a beautiful visual
for me going home for the holidays that year. So
that was useful. Hopefully somebody or somebody can find that
useful too. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:26):
Absolutely, And I think it's interesting because as we go
through life and as we deal with different situations, we
come across different types of people and different types of friends.
And I was always taught people come into your life
for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and kind
(48:47):
of when I was talking about I'm grateful for discernment,
you notice I didn't say that it was something that
I naturally have as a quality. I am grateful for discernment,
but it is something that I'm actually working on actively.
Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. I'm not gonna
(49:07):
say that I am a master of it as of yet.
It is a quality that I am developing, because I
will say that I'm a waffler when it comes to it,
because sometimes I can discern it and sometimes I'm like,
I'm a little iffy. So I am operating in the
(49:29):
spirit of growth when it comes to discernment.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Yeah, And I think part of it is related to you.
You want to see the best in people. You give
people the benefit of the doubt, You put people first
in front of you more than I would like to
see you do that, And I think that's related to
the discernment because you do. You give of yourself so
(49:56):
much sometimes that it's almost an overgive, and that's normal
for both of us. We didn't have that model for
what that was, and we had people who were like
tractors who did not give milk. And the aspect of
us that continues to go to the tractors to try
(50:18):
to get milk, that means we go to people who
aren't capable of giving us what we're asking for. It
isn't unreasonable, right, what we're asking is not unreasonable. However,
instead of going to people and I let me see
if I have this definition, your definition of discernment is
(50:42):
is discerning people who may have milk in their storage
they're actual cows versus tractors. That's discernment. Okay, how many
times do I have to go to this tractor to
figure out they ain't giving me milk? Ever? Right? And
my expectations are out of whack? And how can I
(51:04):
learn how to recognize that sooner rather than later when
I've already spent all the energy trying to milk a
tractor that visual and and and and no quicker to
go to people who I know have milk in there
in their udders. Right, how's that for? Uh uh yeah, okay,
(51:29):
so ze queen. Well, friends, we don't actually, we don't
really leave. It takes a lot to become a friend
to earn that label is substantial. Acquaintances are the one
I'm free. Okay, that that totally uh makes sense and
I'm fully on board with you. I have to be honest,
(51:51):
I don't do well uh with uh. I have a
lot of acquaintances, let's just put it that way. I
because of my past, I have a tendency to do
this and that means, come here, I want to be
your friend or I want you to be my friend.
(52:11):
And then when they get a certain distance, I'm like, okay,
we're good. Don't come you know, too much closer. I'm
not comfortable with that much. And so that maybe we
should do a whole show on what makes a friend
because I know that the very first time I thought
I had a best friend and introduced her to people
(52:34):
as my best friend, she pulled me aside and said,
you are a friend, but you're not my best friend.
I already have a best friend, and it obviously you know,
it still like hurts my heart to remember that. So
from that point forward, friendship has not been the easiest
(52:54):
concept for me.
Speaker 4 (52:58):
I completely get it, and a lot of times, as
we navigate this thing called life, we develop different levels
of relationships, be they platonic or more intimate. And when
I mean an intimate. I'm talking about friendships, romantic and familial,
(53:19):
because even within your family, you have your immediate close
knit family, and then you have your peripheral family, because
you have people who you're close with in your circle
of family, and then you have your peripheral distant cousins.
And so I have cousins who are more like sisters,
and then I have distant cousins, and so you always
(53:40):
have these different layers of relationships. So when you get
together for the holidays, it's there's all these different political dynamics,
even within the family. And so as you come together,
protect your peace. People, protect your peace, because it's all
(54:00):
about your sanity and your health. And I want you
to enjoy your holiday season. So as we wrap up
this special on gratitude and love, my wish is that
you stay healthy, you say happy, and remember that gratitude
(54:23):
does not end when the mill does.
Speaker 3 (54:27):
Beautiful. My final word is gratitude for me is great fullness,
so great as in g R e a T. Not
grading on you g r a T, but gratefulness. And
I do want to have that feeling of gratefulness. And
(54:48):
that's why I am grateful. And we have a bite
of the gratitude sandwhich is a main staple of my
life and of my co hosts as well. Thanks for
joining us today. A great conversation as usual. If you're
listening to this and it's not Thanksgiving, it's after Thanksgiving,
(55:09):
then apply it to Christmas or apply it to every
single day of your life, because gratitude and gratefulness and
love are what we're here on the planet form.
Speaker 4 (55:20):
Can I give a final word? Since happy that I
was just saying as we wrap up. Nope, Okay, that
was the gratitude. Now this is the love. So remember,
love is something that we can give freely every single day.
So just take note to whom you are giving your
love and energy to this holiday season and make beautiful
(55:42):
memories that last a lifetime because today is the present.
That's why it's called a gift. Be blessed. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (55:53):
My final word then is again no, My wish is
that your turkey be tender and your carrots be sweet.
It's all about balance, peace in peace, out world, peace
through in our peace. Doctor Tiffany take us out.
Speaker 4 (56:16):
Now, go and have the best day ever.
Speaker 3 (56:24):
And I forgot one thing, and we do have a
minute for this. Go shop at Maggie's Red Kitty out
in Studio City. She's the show one of the show's
sponsors all week, so I told her I would mention
I almost forgot to mention that, and please vote for
my fashion designer beyond a Jay's Story, she is a
finalist in the Elton John's Foundation Style Icon. So those
(56:48):
are the two commercials I forgot to do during the break.
But thank you, doctor Tiffany. As always, it is a
pleasure of gratitude and love. Go and have the best
day ever, Folks and Z Queen and mom t always
fabulous to have you in studio with us. Had the
(57:11):
best day ever.
Speaker 1 (57:20):
You're listening to KCAA, your good neighbor along the way.
Speaker 8 (57:25):
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Speaker 13 (57:56):
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way ministries. Are you now ready to understand the Word
of God in truth instead of by uninformed and misinformed people.
Tune in on Sundays at one pm for the truth.
You will be very grateful that you did see you there.
Speaker 11 (58:17):
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be Emmy nominated producer director Mark solid Mark and I
will be discussing the birchting business of legacy films. That's right,
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This Sunday at noon right here on KCAA.
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Speaker 1 (59:49):
Ten fifty AM, don't forget that number. And for you
young people who got here by accidentally fat fingering your
FM band selector, we're in AM radio station, and AM
refers to more than just the time of day.
Us the time of day.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
To volved at exhausting amster wheel and into balanced living
with Doctor.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Marissa from Miss Joy.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Doctor Marissa, also known as the Asian Oprah. Her mission
to be a beneficial presence on the planet, her purpose
to be your personal advocate, to live, lap love, learn
her life motto, don't die wondering. Take back your life
with Doctor Maurissa Pey.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
And welcome you tuned into take my advice, I'm not
using it. Get balanced with Doctor Marissa. The Morning Joe,
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Radio station AM ten fifty f M one oh six
point five, home to the Asian Oprah number one talking
(00:55):
the ie every weekday morning at eight am Pacific time. Yes,
I'm back for drive time and I'm so glad that
I get to accompany you to work, which is not
a bad place if we focus on what is good
and we have a good morning already. From one of
(01:15):
the Sorority sisters, it is time for Doctors in the
house with myself and Doctor Tiffany Tate. You all know
who she is. She's a Navy veteran, OBGYN certified songwriter,
(01:36):
singer running for Congress, Peach Cobbler maker, I'm doing the
highlights that I really, you know, enjoy and the published
author started with poetry and now has a complete collection
of children's books. So welcome back to doctor Tiffany Tay
(02:06):
and you know that this is peace Central. I'll say
that this is a show where we will not talk
about the headlines, or if you're looking for them, please
go somewhere else. Not that I don't want you to
stay here, but we do not talk about anything that
leaves you with the four a's anxious, afraid, angry, or annoyed. Instead,
I want you to feel amazing. So I have topics
(02:28):
and guests and co hosts to that, and and we
start every weekday morning with a good life habit called breakfast,
not the one with calories, but one that'll end up
making you feel better. Top of the button of taking
a bite of my gratitude sandwich is what are we
grateful for outside of ourselves? And bottom of the button,
(02:49):
looking inside ourselves, what do we appreciate about ourselves? So,
doctor Tiffany, what are you grateful for this morning?
Speaker 4 (02:58):
I am grateful for discernment, Yes, discernment, because a lot
of times we think we know something and we don't
necessarily know well. And some people you are willing to
stop your life for, you're willing to sacrifice for, and
(03:19):
you're willing to drop everything for a fly all over
the country for give for donate to which is great,
or just give to And I think it's good. But
if you are willing to do all these things for
them and they're not even willing to take time out
make a phone call, give thirty minutes or an hour
(03:42):
of their time for you at your lowest point, that
makes you go. And I think when people show you
who they are, you should believe it.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
So that is more so the bottom of the button.
And I wanted to and this is you know, this
is the great thing about our show is that it's
good to be real about where you are. And I
do that all the time. Usually I'm the one that's
doing it. Doctor Tiffany's starting us off with that, which
(04:17):
is good. She's obviously releasing something right now, which is good.
I'll do my traditional gratitude of things outside of myself,
and that is I am grateful that sirens go off
anytime we're talking on the show on something that is true.
(04:37):
So that was your siren. I am also grateful that
my kids are down for Thanksgiving and getting everything prepared
for the big Turkey day tomorrow. I'm actually hosting, so
I get to make all of the favorites, and I
look forward to that of them remembering their own Thanksgivings
(04:58):
when they were kids. And I use grape soda from
a recipe from my manicurist friend who I've known for
twenty eight years, and it makes the turkey very tender,
So I'm grateful I have a great recipe. I am
not allergic to the kitchen as I was in my past,
(05:19):
and I look forward to having all the bounty. I'm
grateful that I have stores that I can go to
to pick up stuff, and you know all of that. Really,
sometimes we take for granted stuff around the holidays. What
are you grateful for?
Speaker 4 (05:33):
I'm grateful for stretching pants just in time for Thanksgiving,
because you know, when you get to eat, you're fool
and you don't have to worry about you know, as
your belly kind of stretches out, you can still stay comfortable.
Back in the old days, when your pants were stretched,
you have to unbuckle them. You don't have to worry
about those.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Oh I A good one. That's a very good one.
A great, great gratitude for wretching pants. Yes, I do
remember the buckle. Just yeah, just remember you know, we
don't have to eat everything we have, even though in
my home, as soon as you cut or unwrap something,
(06:13):
the calories disappear. That's the BS that I choose to believe.
Let's see. I am grateful for cars that can bring
my daughters from San Francisco and that I can drive.
I love my car. My kids aren't crazy about it
because they don't think it's safe enough. But I love
my little mos demioda convertible that looks like a panda
(06:36):
because it's black and white. One more gratitude.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
I am great grateful for heated and weighted blankets because
you can kind of snuggle up with those and they
are perfect to just take a nice long nap and
it's just like being bundled in love.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Ah great, I'm gonna go to the bottom of the button.
Which is what do I like about myself? It's called
weight training for your own house. A lot of us
are very hard on ourselves. I'm a recovery perfectionist myself,
which means that it was very difficult for me to
be happy. I was always saying I'll be happy when,
(07:17):
be happy when, and when would never come, or if
it came, it went, and then I was on to
the next thing. So I want everybody to claim their
birthright to be happy eighty eight percent of the time.
So that means I gotta look like myself.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
What do I like about myself and go to bed
night thinking about that instead of I don't like about myself,
what I don't like about you? So I like that
I can be a cheerleader for hope and happiness, that
I'm known for it, that I'm I'm good at it
eighty eight percent of the time, and that is what
(07:56):
I get to be for the.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Rest of my life.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
I like the fact that I was asked if I
owned a banking company. I thought that was the cutest thing. Oh,
and I went to a pot love and I took
some of my I brought some of my bake goods
and they when they had a sample, I had them
nicely packaged and they were like, oh, do you own
(08:22):
a banking company? And I said, no, I do not.
I was so flattered and they were like, oh, these
are really good. I brought caramel corn and my chocolate
caramel chocolate chip cookies and they they were impressed, and
(08:43):
needless to say, you haven't had those. You've only had
the peach cobbler.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
And with that, that's because you haven't had the I
don't doubt it. I don't doubt it, but honestly, it's
just because i've I'm not I didn't grow up in
a culture that actually had a lot of cookies and cake. Right.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Well, I'm a caramel kid. I love anything caramel.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Okay, well caramel corn I'll have. So you made caramel
korn from scratch?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Yeah, yeah, I make my own caramel. Yes, I made
homemade caramel corn.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I stand corrected. I will maybe absolutely love that too,
and so yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
So they they were like, oh my goodness, do you
do you own a business? Well, yeah, I own a business,
but not a baking business. But I was like, hmmm,
that might be something that I'll do in the future.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
So it might be. Well, you were a contestant on
a cooking show when you first started with me, Yes,
so there you go. I appreciate my fashion inner fashionist stuff,
and like you, people will ask not if I'm a
(09:53):
cook or baking company. But if I'm a fashion designer,
so I take that as a compliment as well, and
I'll say thank you. No, I'm actually a psychologist, but
I definitely love my sense of style, and I love
There's nothing, there's only one thing better than seeing something
(10:17):
out that you want to buy, and you buy it
and you just love it so much, and then you
bring it home. And the double love it so much
is when you find something in your closet that you
weren't trying to match but matches perfectly with the thing
that you just bought. I'm sorry. That's better than a
good date for me. That is definitely you know one
(10:37):
of those yeah mini minios.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
You coordinate.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yeah, I love that. I love that. Go ahead.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I remember when Nathaniel and Mia were in elementary school,
and at this point I was at Vanderbilt in residency,
and I volunteered so much at their school, and I
was a resident, working like, you know, sixty eighty hour
a week, and they actually thought I was a stay
at home mom.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Wow, right, Because I.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Budgeted my time and my sleep is such a way
that no matter what, I always spent so much time
at the school volunteering, and it was hilarious because they
were like, well, are you a stay at home mom?
And I like the fact that I prioritize my time
in such a way that I'm going to put the
(11:35):
people whom I love first, and if you are fortunate
to be one of the people I love, I'm going
to prioritize you. And I like that about me that
I can and quality time is my love language, and
I like the fact that I can identify and you
(11:56):
can have mixed love languages, but I like the fact
that I can identify my love language and I can
prioritize my time accordingly, because a lot of people don't
necessarily know how to love, know how to be loved,
and know how to prioritize their time accordingly.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And that nice necklace, by the way.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
It was given to me by someone who I feel
very happy to be loved by and appreciated by.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yes, that was from the hippie market in Brazil, in Brazilia,
so it's a tuto bang and it looks fabulous on you,
if I do say so myself. I was waiting for
you to I just noticed it as you were talking.
I'm glad you didn't pointed out, that's very nice. That's it.
That's a good breakfast right now, because we've got a
(12:48):
pretty big topic coming up. Thanks you for joining us
for breakfast. I am absolutely certain that if you adopt
this good life practice, especially the bottom of the before
you go to bed, one you're gonna have a better
night's sleep. And two, if you're feeling a little uncomfortable
that it sounded like both doctor Tiffany and I were
(13:09):
tooting our own horn. That says to me that there's
some work to be done. Because frankly, my dear, if
you can't approve of yourself, how the fork do you
expect anybody else to approve of you? And in these
days where people are saying they admit they are lonely,
they're sad, they're depressed, the one person that has to
(13:31):
be on your side, that has to be your biggest
cheerleader is you. The buckstops right over here. So please
do practice this and see if you can't get over
your discomfort in talking good about yourself. Lord knows we're
comfortable with talking bad about ourselves and others, but I
(13:51):
want to you know, especially this season. All right, thank
you for joining us for breakfast every weekday morning. I'm
here to do so with you. Just free subscribe on
my YouTube TV channel where we broadcast live every weekday
morning and Wednesdays with Doctor Tiffany. Thanks for joining us
for breakfast. And now for the topic of the day, Anny,
(14:25):
what is the topic of the day.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
The topic of the day is gratitude and love. Love
and gratitude. Gratitude and love because we are approaching the
season of Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving is about gratitude, gratefulness, and
this is the season, the season where we should be
(14:49):
grateful and appreciate family, love, friendship, fellowship and all that
funfilled brolicliness. I think I'm made word frolically mess.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Uh huh, I'm rubbing off on you.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
It's beautiful people, It's all good. So as we as
we come together, I thought this would be a good
time to just talk about friendship, fellowship, family and all
the positive things because right now we live in a
special world. It's upside down. Spin it around, so let's
(15:26):
smack it, flip it up, and rub it down.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
I knew that was coming. I just knew that was coming.
Mom tease in the house, and uh, do you mind,
Doctor Tiva I'm getting that little bit of an echo, so.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
It might be my heater. Let me turn my heater down.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Okay, but mom teasa with her love definitely, that is
the love we're talking about for today's topic. It's funny
when you said gratitude and love. There's not that song
Joel and pain. No, that wasn't the wrong one. But
(16:05):
there is some pain and love. Sometimes love hurts. That
is not a that's not a BS. It's a belief
system that's actually sometimes true. But we're gonna talk about
all of that. Please do share us right now because
we are live. If you know anyone that needs a
little more your aratitude and love or both, please have
(16:27):
them join us. It's always more fun when we're interacting
with our cash you gallery as I call it. So
and we're not approaching doctor Tiffany. We're in the c
sun right.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Right, We're in the midst of it. But you know
what I found, sixty of people report feeling thankful at
least once a day.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Really, well, you can. It's like one of those if
you're happy, let your face know, like if you're if
you're grateful, let your mouth know. Because I don't I
don't hear that. When I go out, all I hear
is complaining the traffic, the holiday. That probably said that
that the government that it's like.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
Talk to them.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
I don't want to live in my bubble mm hm.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
And about three quarters of people say that they feel
thankful on most days, So statistically, the odds are ever
in our.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Favor, then I'm attracting the wrong kind of people. So
I gotta look at myself, right.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
So if we look at what's going on in the
world negatively, the the news is bad, but internally we're
doing all right. So I think that's a good thing.
And Americans we say thank you about six times a day.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
That's great. That's great. Doctor Wayne Dyer said five things
every morning, and that will steep your life in a
lot of good things. I say eight because I'm an
overachiever and it's a homophone for good fortune. In Chinese,
Ba is eight fa is good fortune. So eight things
(18:26):
in the morning we do it between us, I think
for breakfast and whoever's in the gallery. So yeah, we're
doing good. We're above average.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
We are we are. And family is the most common
source of gratitude, with eighty four percent of Americans reporting
thankfulness for their family. Now you may look at your
family with the side eye and be like, I don't
think I'm really thankful for you today. Well, it might
be at that moment, depending on what they're doing at
(18:57):
that moment, but it's the test they are on your
side statistically. Now, we didn't say one hundred percent. Okay,
we're just talking about eighty four percent.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Eighty four Yeah, And this is a discipline. It is
not easy to focus on the family members who are great.
We have a tendency if we have eight great family
members and two problem children. We focus on those two
problem children, whether they're adult or children, and we talk
(19:32):
about them and we worry about them and we're afraid
for them or we're angry at them, and then it
really doesn't matter about the eight that are good, because
all your focus is on that negativity that's on us.
And one of the things we do on this show
is try to get you to work that muscle of
choice to focus on the people that are great, that
(19:53):
are doing good things, that are you know, the ones
that you're naturally grateful for, and then the one that
you're not naturally grateful for. You might want to take
your eyes off of them. That's not so easy.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Absolutely, and then sixty nine percent says it's their health,
sixty three percent says their friends, and then another sixty
three memories. So a lot of times people will reflect
and be like, oh, I remember when we had a
good time there, or I remember that friend so reminiscing,
or I'm thankful for doctor Marissa. She's like saying, I'm
(20:31):
thankful for doctor Tiffany. And whatever toots your horn or
floats your boat, it's.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Good, right, yeah, yeah it. You know, people ask me
all the time, why are you so positive? And I
wish I could come up with a more scientific answer,
but frankly, my dear, it just feels better when I
look for the best in someone. If I look for
the best in the situation, I use IC a lot,
(21:01):
which stands for it could be worse. And whatever situation
you're in, you have a choice. You can look at
the things that are working or the things that are
not working. Relationships, your car, your body, your work, whatever
it is. That's always your choice.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Right, it goes better, absolutely absolutely. And then you look
at how you love one another, how you treat one another,
how you respect one another, how you show up for
one another, the quality of the relationships. Those make a
big difference. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
I want to talk to moms for a second, because
both of us are moms and mom Ty's mom and
nineteen twenty m Jack is a mom. I think she
is okay, So let's do a special This is my
special message right now, A holiday message for moms. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza.
(22:10):
All those who host I'm hosting tomorrow, you're hosting tomorrow.
The holidays can be a little stressful because you want
to make everybody happy all the time. I mean, I'm
a recovering codependent. I was brought up being told that
if I made someone happy, thank you for that thumbs up,
(22:31):
or that thanks for giving me the finger, this one
not the other one. We're told, you know, if you
did this or you did that, I will be happy.
And hopefully you've learned now that you can't make people happy.
That's their choice, and that the validation for Am I
a good hostess? Am I? You know? I have both
(22:54):
of my daughters here, and you know I want them
to be happy. But at some point I can't keep
asking them like you know, what is you know, how
can I make you happy. Plus, am I a good mom?
And during the holidays, when you're surrounded by a lot
of family, am I a good family? Am I a
(23:14):
good person? And I want us to anchor ourselves in
the knowledge and the true belief and the truth is
is that I'm a good mom eighty eight percent of
the time, and I did a good job. I can
even say I did a great job as a mom.
(23:36):
Sometimes I was a mom and a dad, a single mom,
you know, so I call it my mamily. And I
really did the best that I could with the time
that I had and the resources at and I worked
my assets off, literally lost quite a few of those
in the divorce process. And I know that my kids
(23:57):
would have preferred not to have been through that, but
I know that that has also helped them develop skills
and qualities in adversity, and that I have to remember
that I'm a good mom most of the time, no
matter what happens this holiday, no matter what happens when
someone says something you don't like, no matter what happens,
(24:19):
that anchoring of the love for oneself is the most
important thing in the holidays, actually all the time, but
especially during the holidays. And if you can hear that
and anchor that and really embrace that, you're gonna have
the best holiday ever.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Absolutely, even if you show up imperfectly, the most important
thing is that you show up, because the love is
what people remember. People may not remember what you said
or what you did, but they definitely remember how you
(25:03):
made them feel.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Yes, and this is going to be one of those
times where we don't exactly see even though I think
we're talking at different angles here. But the point I'm
trying to make is I don't really care first and
foremost how you feel. If I'm coming from the best
place that I can. Your feelings are your business, right,
(25:33):
And so let's say I, I, you know, prepared the meal.
If I did everything that I you know, and you
still have a problem with me and you don't feel good, right,
that's not on me.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Yes, Yes, I completely get you. I'm coming from the
perspect You're coming from the perspective like you got it,
you have an attitude, And I'm coming from the perspective like, oh,
we love each other, so I'm showing you love and
we're showing love and support. You're coming from the perspective
like you have an attitude. I have an attitude, and
(26:10):
that's that's your issue, that we have an attitude, and
I can respect that. So yes, if we both want
to have an attitude, that's fine. We can both have
an attitude, and let's respect the fact that we both
have attitudes. And if that's going to be it, go
to each respective ring and ding ding ding. You stay
in your corner, I say, in my corner. And I
think that that's okay, because in all honesty, all the
chaos was love disguised as bad decisions, and we can
(26:35):
all just sit there and bad decisions the official flavor
of Thanksgiving, and sometimes it's like that, and unfortunately, when
we deal with that, we'll just have to realize it
and live with it, because I think that's something we forget.
Love doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to
(26:57):
be real.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Okay, And let's just put the moose on the table,
which is my version of talking about the elephant in
the room. If you're listening right now, I know that
doctor Tiffany has a certain scenario in her head that
she's talking from, and I also have a certain scenario
that I'm talking from, and neither one of us have
talked about the particulars, and so it sounds like we're
(27:22):
disagreeing where we're actually agreeing. Yes, yes, I got that
now when you're talking. So I think your statement is
absolutely right on the ball. Is that love is not
you know, always that feeling of oh I love you
(27:43):
so much and no warmut fuzzies. That sometimes it's tough
love and sometimes it's you can love someone and just
not feel very loving towards them at that moment, which
is okay, doesn't feel okay. And that's a good expectation
to look at. You know, if you think that if
you if you know, if you loved me, you wouldn't
(28:04):
have said that. If you love me, you wouldn't have
done that, that's an unrealistic expectation. That's nice that that's
not possible because we are human, right, So yeah, that's
a good moos to put on the table. And holidays
don't always bring out the best in people because everybody's
(28:26):
operating on their own, you know, sadness or anxiety or
you know. I have a little Happy eighty eight tool
called dysfunctional bingo family dysfunctional bingo, And I would get
together with my girlfriend and we'd go out for dinner
(28:47):
and we'd sit down and put the moose on the
Bingo card and say, well, you know, this person's going
to ask you, you know, why have you gained so
much weight? Or this person's going to ask you when
are you gonna get married? Or this person's gonna ask
you you know, uh, you shouldn't have got a divorce
or whatever it is. It's gonna push your button. So
(29:10):
if you go into the holidays knowing that that might happen,
you can defuse that first by making a game out
of it. And then my girlfriend I'll do it and
whoever has the hight score but gets dinner bought after
the holidays. So there, you know, let's be real, which
we do on the show about love, right and gratitude.
(29:34):
We're not always going to be thankful for the people
in our family, right.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
We are not. No, no, we are not.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
But yeah, but we're gonna have some fun coming back
to talk more about this. It is time to take
a break for news. Weather in traffic here on k
c AAAM ten fifty FM one O six Foife five
the station no listener behind. My name's doctor Marissa. This
is take my advice. I'm not using a gip Balance
(30:07):
with me on Straight On Doctors in the House with myself.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
And doctor Tiffany Tate.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
We will be right back. Don't go away with more
after We're from our sponsored news, weather and traffic piece
it Pisa.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Take Back your Life with doctor Maurie.
Speaker 6 (30:48):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
My name is doctor Tiffany Tate and I am running
for a California's fortieth district for the US House of Representatives.
You want to visit my website and learn more about me.
I am a veteran of the United States Navy. I
served as a general medical officer for the CBS during
the Global War on Terrorism. I understand health care policy.
(31:12):
You want someone who can help make a change and
make a difference for the care of your family, your friends,
and you elect me Doctor Tiffany Tate, physician, author, entrepreneur.
Please visit my website at doctor Tate for Congress. That
is d R T A T E F O R
(31:33):
C O N G R E S S dot com.
Support me so I can support you again. My name
is doctor Tiffany Tate and I am running for California's
fortieth seat. Visit my website at doctor Tate for Congress.
My name doctor Tiffany Tate, thank you for.
Speaker 7 (31:50):
Your well She has been dubbed the Asian Oprah and
she just wants all of us to be happy.
Speaker 8 (32:05):
Doctor Marissa aka the Asian Oprah says, the most important
thing you can choose is choosing to be happy.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show
called Take My Advice. I'm not using it.
Speaker 9 (32:18):
Get Balanced with Doctor Marissa.
Speaker 7 (32:32):
That's the idea for it. Doctor Marissa Pay's new book
call Eight Ways to Be Happy.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
Many of us say, I am my own worst critic.
Nobody's harder on me than I am. And my response
to that is stop it. Why are you doing that
to yourself? You have to be your biggest fan, because
if you can't, at the end of the day say
I did a good job, who is You don't have
(32:58):
to constantly be an the things that are wrong.
Speaker 10 (33:01):
Why don't we choose to be happy about things that
are right.
Speaker 11 (33:05):
We have the choice.
Speaker 10 (33:06):
That's our muscle, and life is so amazing if we
can see it.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Take back your life with Doctor Maurica.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Pey and we're back. You're doing to take my advice,
I'm not using it. Get Balanced with Doctor Marissa. The
Morning Show Here on kazyaa NBC news radio home to
the Asian Oprah number one talking the Ie. Thank you
very much, and streaming everywhere iHeartRadio, Spotify, and of course
(33:55):
my show Central on my YouTube TV channel now over
four point two million impressionss thank you very much, seven
hundred and eight consecutive weeks. Those who said a show
that didn't talk about politics or headlines wouldn't last over
a year, we're kind of wrong. Thirteen and three quarters
(34:17):
a year later, I am still here and so happy
that you are here with me, streaming live every weekday morning,
especially Wednesday mornings when we have our very special series
called Doctors in the House with myself and doctor Tiffany Tate.
(34:38):
She's a Navy veteran, a published author at obgyn, and
now running for Congress. As you heard, she is my hostess,
co hostess with the Mostess.
Speaker 12 (34:51):
Please welcome back to the studio, doctor Tiffany day, the
topic of the day.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
Is gratitude and love. And you know what I tell
my kids all the time is that you cannot help
who you are related to, so pick your friends wisely.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Yes, I do have family of choice as well. In fact,
my bonus dad Graham Martin will be turning ninety six
on Friday, So happy Boothday, dear Papa, Happy boosday to you,
(35:38):
Happy birthday.
Speaker 6 (35:39):
I love.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Yeah, I'm gonna cut that piece and send it to him.
Doctor Tiffany has picked the topic of gratitude and love
and we got into we got into it before the
break in a loving way, looking at the imperfection of
love and the challenge of being grateful sometimes. So any other.
Speaker 6 (36:09):
Statistics, Well, no, it's just basically that when you are
trying to work through things, it can sometimes be a
challenge for people.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
And when people are struggling, they're looking for support. And
I think when people don't know what to do, they
seek support from the people around them.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Yes, I'm doing a I forgot to put up our
story so on Instagram, And how does that apply to.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Us?
Speaker 4 (36:52):
And so when you when you're trying to figure out
how often people fall in love or look for love,
there's no good an on the frequency of something on
something like that. So that was the interesting thing. But
(37:14):
when it comes to thanksgiving and gratitude, you can look
at how that brings relationships closer together. And when you
look at families coming together you see people trying to
rush and clean up in preparation for preparing their homes
(37:37):
to entertain. As I'm sure you prepared your home for
your children coming over, as Mia and I prepare the
home for families coming here. And so it helps as
you prepare to cook and clean together for the holidays,
you have to treasure that special time with your significant other.
(37:58):
If you lack a significant other.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
I have an insignificant other.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Yes, that helps too. So you can.
Speaker 3 (38:08):
Give those bumped things as a thing.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
That would be more sound effects, and so you treasure.
Oh I like that. So you treasure your family and
your friends. Because love doesn't always have to be loud.
It can be like in the tiny things that you do.
And I think a lot of times we need to
(38:33):
treasure the tiny things that we do to show people
that we care. And I think that that's important when
we are showing love towards one another, whether it be
with our family, our friends, and our insignificant others.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Significant No, I like the insignificant all right, I just
tagged you. I wanna. I know this is a little
bit odd. I shouldn't be doing relationship coaching. I do
do it as part of my happiness work, even though
I'm not in a relationship. But then then again, the
(39:11):
name of the show is take my advice. I'm not
using it, but I have a formula. People ask me
all the time, like, it shouldn't be that difficult, right,
if you're in love and you're together, it shouldn't be
that difficult. It shouldn't be that much work. And I
think that that is accurate. You know, people always say, oh,
(39:32):
relationships are so hard, Like if I had a dollar
for every time I heard that, It's like, okay, fine,
then why would I want one?
Speaker 12 (39:40):
Right?
Speaker 3 (39:40):
But my formula is eighty percent. If you like being
with and having a relationship with that person eighty percent
of the time, eighty percent of the time you're with them,
you're happy, right, then that's a pretty good relationship. But
a lot of people are looking for that one hundred percent,
(40:02):
and I don't believe. Maybe you'll disagree with me or
agree with me. Eighty percent I think is the top,
maybe eighty eight percent, But you cannot one hundred percent
of the time be happy someone. I think there's something wrong,
which is one of the reasons I have difficult having
a relationship because I do carry that bs that belief system. Unfortunately,
(40:23):
because of the trauma that I went through both as
a child and then it's very common for people who
have gone through trauma to pick a mate who continues
the trauma comeoniciously. So I think both of us did that.
So I I don't want to speak for you, but
that is it's hard for me to disagree and have
(40:45):
conflict in a relationship because that just throws me back
into the darkness of what I grew up with. That's
my stuff. Oh I almost wore that's my tact right,
that's what I have to work so being able to
acknowledge that that person is not perfect and twenty percent
(41:06):
of the time they're going to drive you crazy, but
eighty percent of the time they're fabulous. That's a good relationship.
But then I have people that come and say more
women sorry that I'll say, oh no, I'm happy with
them eighty percent of the time. But then they spend
the rest of the hour talking about what drives them crazy,
(41:28):
about their insignificant or significant other. It's like, no, you're focused.
Your twenty percent has now become one hundred percent. That's
on you. If you're eighty percent happy, why are you
focusing on the twenty that is just normal, that makes
you unhappy.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
I think it's important. Yeah, I think that you have
to enjoy those precious moments because those precious moments become memories,
and they should be spent with those who you love
the most. And as we enter this holiday season, time
(42:09):
is the only resource that is not renewable, people, and
so you need to treasure whom you spend your time
with and prioritize it accordingly. And you're a significant, insignificant person,
whether it be friend, whether it be family, give your
time with the person you want to be with. And
(42:33):
I think that that's what you should do. And when
you spend time with your Thanksgiving coworkers, your Thanksgiving friends,
your Thanksgiving family, give it out of your spirit so
that you feel comfortable. And like doctor Marsa said, if
(42:53):
it's that eighty percent, that's great, but your time is
a non renewable energy and non renewable source, and you
have to do it accordingly and appropriately. And so I
think that as long as you feel fulfilled, and you
feel satisfied to eighty eight percent of the time and
(43:15):
you are being energized and fulfilled, go for it.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
Yeah, I want to go to a very important comment
made in our cashier gallery by the Captain. You can
love but not like the person's personality. I think of family,
you know, like you were saying, you can't choose your family.
You can love people in your family, but not like
(43:43):
their personality and or their choices. But what if it
is I mean, if it's a friend. I just don't
understand how you can love a friend and not like
their personality.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Get me, maybe there could be aspects of it. So say,
for instance, like you said, you may not like all
aspects of their personalities, maybe there's pieces of it that
that you're not feeling, or maybe aspects of it, like
maybe for the most part they're good, but sometimes they're selfish,
(44:21):
or but they're not selfish all the time, or for
the most part they're great, but every now and again
they do just a little quirk that might get to
you and you're like, okay, but they don't do it
all the time, and you're like, okay, well we can
go out. But then when they do that one thing,
I'll bring it up and say hey, maybe you shouldn't
(44:41):
do that, and you're like, okay, well we can. We
can work around it because for the most part they're okay,
and so.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, I think maybe is this see Queen with a
different okay?
Speaker 4 (44:54):
I thought so that that's your usual captain's cashiw gallery.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Yes, but but you's got to different handle today, so
Ze queen, you put tolerance so without outing whoever you're
talking about? Is it a friend or family? And is
is the is the choice because of what doctor Tiffany
just said, it's a twenty percent thing, and that aspect
(45:20):
of their personality, I guess I took it as their
entire personality. You don't like them, why would you be
with them or why would you call them a friend
or why would you spend time with them? I can
understand there are people in my family where I do
not like their personality in totality, like there's like they're
(45:42):
some of their personality completely overshadows all the rest of them. Right,
it's not an aspect of the present, their whole personality
and I don't like them right now as a family member.
Do I have to love them.
Speaker 4 (45:59):
So or what if they get loud every you know,
every now and then when they're talking or they talk
and then yeah, and then they every periodically they get
very loud and you know, over shouts everybody, and you're like, hey,
you know, do you really have to do that. You know,
maybe you should tone it down a little bit. And so,
because I have some family members and you know, we
(46:19):
have big mouth people in my family, I'm not gonna
say who they are, because you know, they might eventually
listen to the show. You know, I have some big
mouth people in my family, and so maybe from time
to time they might get a little rambunctious. They need
to maintain low tones, but they don't always do that.
(46:42):
And I definitely love them, and I'm not gonna stop
being around them. I'm not gonna not claim them as family,
but I think that you still want to own them,
you still want to be around them, but you kind
of give them the side eye from time to time.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
M h.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
And yeah, she just clarified for me, Ze Queen, thank you. Friends,
we can leave family we have to deal with that's
the tolerance. If I don't like someone's personality, I wouldn't
spend time with them. And you know, that's one of
the things that does happen at holidays. People that you
don't normally spend time with you will spend time with them.
You have to. And I guess my point with the
(47:24):
dysfunctional bingo is family. Just putting the fun back into
this function is that if it is family members and
there is something that annoys you about them, try to
look at the things that don't annoy you about them.
And if you can't do that, just don't look at them, like,
don't put yourself in harms way. Necessarily, I had someone
(47:48):
say something beautiful to me, and I wish I could
give them credit, but they told me when I knew,
when they knew I was going to go into a
very highly negatively charged family situation where I was going
to get like verbally beat up. Just it happens every
year kind of thing. She said to put flowers all
(48:08):
over me, so when people picked on me, they would
get a flower, which I thought was a beautiful visual
for me going home for the holidays that year. So
that was useful. Hopefully somebody or somebody can find that
useful too. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:26):
Absolutely, And I think it's interesting because as we go
through life and as we deal with different situations, we
come across different types of people and different types of friends.
And I was always taught people come into your life
for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and kind
(48:47):
of when I was talking about I'm grateful for discernment,
you notice I didn't say that it was something that
I naturally have as a quality. I am grateful for discernment,
but it is something that I'm actually working on actively.
Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. I'm not gonna
(49:07):
say that I am a master of it as of yet.
It is a quality that I am developing, because I
will say that I'm a waffler when it comes to it,
because sometimes I can discern it and sometimes I'm like,
I'm a little iffy. So I am operating in the
(49:29):
spirit of growth when it comes to discernment.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Yeah, And I think part of it is related to you.
You want to see the best in people. You give
people the benefit of the doubt, You put people first
in front of you more than I would like to
see you do that, And I think that's related to
the discernment because you do. You give of yourself so
(49:56):
much sometimes that it's almost an overgive, and that's normal
for both of us. We didn't have that model for
what that was, and we had people who were like
tractors who did not give milk. And the aspect of
us that continues to go to the tractors to try
(50:18):
to get milk, that means we go to people who
aren't capable of giving us what we're asking for. It
isn't unreasonable, right, what we're asking is not unreasonable. However,
instead of going to people and I let me see
if I have this definition, your definition of discernment is
(50:42):
is discerning people who may have milk in their storage
they're actual cows versus tractors. That's discernment. Okay, how many
times do I have to go to this tractor to
figure out they ain't giving me milk? Ever? Right? And
my expectations are out of whack? And how can I
(51:04):
learn how to recognize that sooner rather than later when
I've already spent all the energy trying to milk a
tractor that visual and and and and no quicker to
go to people who I know have milk in there
in their udders. Right, how's that for? Uh uh yeah, okay,
(51:29):
so ze queen. Well, friends, we don't actually, we don't
really leave. It takes a lot to become a friend
to earn that label is substantial. Acquaintances are the one
I'm free. Okay, that that totally uh makes sense and
I'm fully on board with you. I have to be honest,
(51:51):
I don't do well uh with uh. I have a
lot of acquaintances, let's just put it that way. I
because of my past, I have a tendency to do
this and that means, come here, I want to be
your friend or I want you to be my friend.
(52:11):
And then when they get a certain distance, I'm like, okay,
we're good. Don't come you know, too much closer. I'm
not comfortable with that much. And so that maybe we
should do a whole show on what makes a friend
because I know that the very first time I thought
I had a best friend and introduced her to people
(52:34):
as my best friend, she pulled me aside and said,
you are a friend, but you're not my best friend.
I already have a best friend, and it obviously you know,
it still like hurts my heart to remember that. So
from that point forward, friendship has not been the easiest
(52:54):
concept for me.
Speaker 4 (52:58):
I completely get it, and a lot of times, as
we navigate this thing called life, we develop different levels
of relationships, be they platonic or more intimate. And when
I mean an intimate. I'm talking about friendships, romantic and familial,
(53:19):
because even within your family, you have your immediate close
knit family, and then you have your peripheral family, because
you have people who you're close with in your circle
of family, and then you have your peripheral distant cousins.
And so I have cousins who are more like sisters,
and then I have distant cousins, and so you always
(53:40):
have these different layers of relationships. So when you get
together for the holidays, it's there's all these different political dynamics,
even within the family. And so as you come together,
protect your peace. People, protect your peace, because it's all
(54:00):
about your sanity and your health. And I want you
to enjoy your holiday season. So as we wrap up
this special on gratitude and love, my wish is that
you stay healthy, you say happy, and remember that gratitude
(54:23):
does not end when the mill does.
Speaker 3 (54:27):
Beautiful. My final word is gratitude for me is great fullness,
so great as in g R e a T. Not
grading on you g r a T, but gratefulness. And
I do want to have that feeling of gratefulness. And
(54:48):
that's why I am grateful. And we have a bite
of the gratitude sandwhich is a main staple of my
life and of my co hosts as well. Thanks for
joining us today. A great conversation as usual. If you're
listening to this and it's not Thanksgiving, it's after Thanksgiving,
(55:09):
then apply it to Christmas or apply it to every
single day of your life, because gratitude and gratefulness and
love are what we're here on the planet form.
Speaker 4 (55:20):
Can I give a final word? Since happy that I
was just saying as we wrap up. Nope, Okay, that
was the gratitude. Now this is the love. So remember,
love is something that we can give freely every single day.
So just take note to whom you are giving your
love and energy to this holiday season and make beautiful
(55:42):
memories that last a lifetime because today is the present.
That's why it's called a gift. Be blessed. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (55:53):
My final word then is again no, My wish is
that your turkey be tender and your carrots be sweet.
It's all about balance, peace in peace, out world, peace
through in our peace. Doctor Tiffany take us out.
Speaker 4 (56:16):
Now, go and have the best day ever.
Speaker 3 (56:24):
And I forgot one thing, and we do have a
minute for this. Go shop at Maggie's Red Kitty out
in Studio City. She's the show one of the show's
sponsors all week, so I told her I would mention
I almost forgot to mention that, and please vote for
my fashion designer beyond a Jay's Story, she is a
finalist in the Elton John's Foundation Style Icon. So those
(56:48):
are the two commercials I forgot to do during the break.
But thank you, doctor Tiffany. As always, it is a
pleasure of gratitude and love. Go and have the best
day ever, Folks and Z Queen and mom t always
fabulous to have you in studio with us. Had the
(57:11):
best day ever.
Speaker 1 (57:20):
You're listening to KCAA, your good neighbor along the way.
Speaker 8 (57:25):
There's never been a better time for men to be
whoever they want to be. Yet it's never been less
clear who men really are. Guys Guy Radio, starring author
Robert Manny, is on Caseyaa every Wednesday at eight pm.
Whether it's relationships, sex, wellness, or spirituality, join Robert as
(57:46):
he interviews the experts about how men and women can
be at their best. Guys Guy Radio, Better Men, Better World.
Speaker 13 (57:56):
Hi, this is pastor Adrian McClellan with Jesus is the
way ministries. Are you now ready to understand the Word
of God in truth instead of by uninformed and misinformed people.
Tune in on Sundays at one pm for the truth.
You will be very grateful that you did see you there.
Speaker 11 (58:17):
I'm bo Ryles asking you to join me this Sunday
at noon right here on KCAA for a show called
Our Living Story. My special guests on the show will
be Emmy nominated producer director Mark solid Mark and I
will be discussing the birchting business of legacy films. That's right,
(58:39):
documentaries of the lives of our loved ones and friends.
This Sunday at noon right here on KCAA.
Speaker 14 (58:50):
Every golfer has the same problem. Dirty club faces, caked
on dirt, ruins your spend, kills your accuracy, and add
strokes you don't need. So for this holiday season, give
the golfer in your life a cleaner game. It's called
Clean and Hit. The portable, rechargeable golf club cleaner that
keeps every iron spotless and ready to perform. Set it
(59:13):
on the ground or clip it to your card, Hit
the button and the power reversible brush does the work
for you. No mess, no fuss, just clean clubs and
pure shots. But here's the catch. Only a few thousand
units are arriving before Christmas, and once they're gone, that's
it until next year. So pre order now at cleaninhit
(59:34):
dot com. That's cleananhit dot com and guarantee the perfect
golf gift of twenty twenty five. That's cleananhit dot com.
Clean clubs, better shots, better game.
Speaker 1 (59:49):
Ten fifty AM, don't forget that number. And for you
young people who got here by accidentally fat fingering your
FM band selector, we're in AM radio station, and AM
refers to more than just the time of day.
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