KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa (Fri, 19 Dec, 2025)

KCAA: Get Balanced with Dr. Marissa on Fri, 19 Dec, 2025

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh to evolved at exhausting amster wheel and into balanced
living with.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Doctor Marissa from Miss Jo.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Doctor Marissa, also known as the Asian Oprah. Her mission
to be a beneficial presence on the planet, her purpose
to be your personal advocate, to live, lap love, learn,
her life motto, don't die wondering, Take back your life
with Doctor Maurica Pey.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
And oh Welcome, I'm your tune in to take my advice.
I'm not using it.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
Get Ballast with Doctor Marissa.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
The Morning Show here on casey AA, NBC News c
NBC News and NBC Sports. Radio station a M ten
fifty FM one oh six point five, home to the
Asian Oprah Number one Talking the Ie. Thank you very much.
Hand streaming everywhere. iHeartRadio, Spotify, iTunes, Inaudible, Amazon Music, Particula,
Rumble Pot Chasers, Speaker Streaker and more.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
Why so many places.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
I want to maximize my splatter zone for more hope
and happiness and balance out all of those ugly headlines
that will leave you with the case of four a's, angry, anxious, afraid,
and aggravated. I don't want those a's. I want you
to feel amazing when you're done with this show. That's
why I have topics and guests and series and co

(01:29):
hosts do that and for the past seven hundred and
ten consecutive weeks, but who's counting, and today's no exception.
You know him as one of my co hosts of
Strict Talk with Doctor Mersa and.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
James Hawthorne. Good morning everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
He's an actor, he's a fitness guru, he's a he's
my all the single not ladies.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
But all the single well uh and uh.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Our our specific niche niche on this particular series with
James is of course dating a relationships.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
So please welcome back to our studio. Der's Hawthorn and
you've got there, you go. You had a little residual
foam there and I did you know? It is Friday?
But let's.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Ah, I have to admit I just finished an interview.
There's a company that uses me for uh special you know,
PSAs and stuff like that. And this was last minute
Gifts and she said, the nuts dot com people have
this product that has nuts in Santa's pants.

Speaker 4 (02:51):
Well where else would they be.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
And it's like literally this Santa's pants. I was like, oh,
there were I was.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
So close to yeah, being a bag girl.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
So anyways, let's start with breakfast with nuts and Santa's pants.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
For the for the protein. What is breakfast?

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Those of you who are new to the show, welcome,
And we'd like to start every show with a bite
of my gratitude sandwich with whoever's on with me in
the morning. So the top of the butt is things
that we're grateful for as we look outside of ourselves.
Bottom of the bund last thing we do before we
go to bed is look for things that we're grateful

(03:35):
for inside of ourselves. So that's the gratitude sandwich. James,
tell me, what are you grateful for this morning.

Speaker 4 (03:44):
I'm loving this winter heat wave. I was able to
go to Malibu last Saturday and swim in the ocean
just rocking a speedo. Somehow, somehow, the ocean is still
sixty three degrees should be fifty six this time of year,
and sixty three means speedo for me. That's cute. I

(04:07):
got a wet suit, but it's such a pain in
the butt to put it on take it off because
it's not like a surfing wetsuit. It's a triathlon suit.
It's skin tight. It's hard to get it on and
so it's hard to just be able to jump in
near naked, you know, starting spicy this morning for our
listeners and viewers.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Oh I thought you didn't hear the How hard was it?
But anyways, okay, so yes, the downside of this sweather
is my Christmas sweaters are hot. It's difficult to get
in the season with my ugly Chris or cute Christmas sweaters.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
Women it's so warm outside. But I'm not complaining.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
I am grateful that my voice is an asset and
the work that I get to do, and I do.
I love the fact that I was born on the
day of the Velvet Voice. For those of you who've
missed any of my like, it's like Tarot cards for

(05:10):
your birthday? Have we done yours? What day were you
born on?

Speaker 4 (05:14):
Yeah? We did well. We did it with I think
like around Chinese New Year and what animal I am
and what I think we did it for that. I
don't know if we did it for like actual Tarot
cards and for dating and all of that.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
Well, whoa.

Speaker 4 (05:34):
Was a mirror each to get a Tarot card reading
like this? This is great. You get to do it
right here on the air. Born.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yeah, No, it's not a tarot card. It's it's called
you see that on the day that you were born.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
It's a little blurry, but.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Is it blurry? Okay, it's called on the day that
you were writing. It's a copy book table. What's your date?

Speaker 3 (05:56):
I should know?

Speaker 4 (05:56):
Uh, Friday, February first.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Friday, February first, Folks, I'm.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
Loud and proud about being forty soon to be forty one.
I'm sed.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
We went to the party. You had a great party.
February time, February.

Speaker 4 (06:21):
First, nineteen eighty five, Friday, on.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
The day of Willfulness.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
Oh yeah, that sounds about right.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
I have a stubborn streak, and I'm a very determined individual.
That's so funny. I pursue things doggedly that I care about.
I've had to learn how to tone that down in
the dating world. In relationships.

Speaker 5 (06:48):
You are distinguished by your strong, earthy, but mental nature.
Not content with abstract speculations. Those born on this day
must impress their ideas on the minds of those them. Headstrong, willful,
and courageous. They know that they are in the right and.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
Will not give one inch.

Speaker 5 (07:07):
Your strengths are a strong, willed, mentally quick and grounded weaknesses, stubborn,
overly rational.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
And self unaware.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
I would I would say not that the last one's
not true, you're very self aware.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
Well. That one has definitely been something that I've worked
on over the years, especially living in LA trying to
be an actor, you have to be aware of yourself
and who you are, because before you can play another character,
you've got to be able to play yourself and say,
how do I feel about this? How would I feel
if this happened to me? So you can draw some
some truth with your performance. It's funny. I always say

(07:45):
that acting is like life distaled down in a concentrated manner,
because to make other people believe the story that you're
trying to tell, you have to believe it with every
fiber of your being. You know, and really live in it,
and so you know, it requires an extreme amount of
being present. And isn't that a valuable skill for life

(08:06):
in general? That's probably speaking of gratitude. That's probably the
thing I'm most grateful for for all the years have
been out here banging away in acting, banging away and
acting where on it Friday may be more equipped for
life in general. Helped me cultivate some areas of weakness,
such as self awareness.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Well, Desiree Mulligans in the house.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
She is my captain for the cashier gallery this morning.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
She's first one in those of you who are not
driving and listening right now on my a day and
Drive time on KCAA NBC News Radio, I would encourage
you to come to my YouTube TV channel, which I
am live every four king weekday morning. And so desire
caught that and she asked what book was. It's called

(08:55):
The Secret Language of Birthdays. I just popped it up here.
Hopefully you can see that. Oh it's not it's not
moving in.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
I have to do this so you can see it better.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
But it is a crazy book of truth telling. Those
of you who were here for Ricky's birthday show his
guess what his is? You know Ricky quite well, you
both of my straight talk co hosts, even neither one
of you were straight. But yes, what day he's born on?

Speaker 4 (09:30):
I mean I have three hundred and sixty five guesses.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
He's born on the day of Bigger than Life.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
Well, that's true. And he was dressed to the nines
at that party.

Speaker 6 (09:41):
I was I'm like, that is an outfit you know,
the designer's outfit actually was that was the de outfit
that they were modeling, and I was also offered to
wear one of the designer outfits, but it would have
not looked as good on me as Ricky's did on his.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
They're little too much skin showing even for me.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
That's so that was Yeah. So the book is pretty pretty.
Isn't that interesting?

Speaker 4 (10:12):
Though? I mean that it's so accurate and like, you know, yes,
all those things are true, and I've had to learn
to cultivate by heart side, my creative side, my my
learning to think in the abstract and cultivate live from
that imaginative place instead of that you know, everything must
be planned and predicted place. That's been a life journey

(10:34):
for me, I would say. So it's so accurate, it's
very true.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, and we can definitely use that in our application
today when we talk about dating and relationships. Uh, it's
uh turn about as fair place. So I'll just read
you the first paragraph of mine so you can laugh
at me. I'll just tend to people project their image
forcefully on the world around them. No, there is voice

(11:00):
that literally must be heard. It is noteworthy that their
mode of expression often assumes equal importance.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
To the content of their statement.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
Thus matters of style and technique figure prominently in their communication.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yes, strengths attractive, fun vocally seductive.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
Weakness is needy, lacking in self trust?

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Is that crazy?

Speaker 4 (11:29):
That's wild.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
I'm telling you wild exactly. And anyways, we're getting off topic.
But I thought it was interesting enough to go there
since you raised it. And let's see, I'm grateful for
learning new things every single day.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
I love that I And this is the bottom of
the butt. What do you like about your self?

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Weight training, to like yourself a little more, to approof
of yourself. And frankly, my dear, if you can't approve
of yourself, how the fork do you expect anyone else to.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
That's why we do the bottom of the bud.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
So if you don't like yourself, join me every weekday morning,
because we do the bottom of the butt every.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
Day because I like it on the bottom.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
But seriously, being able to look at yourself James was
talking self aware and then acting and soothing, not self critical.
You know, we're all so hard on ourselves. Let's fall
asleep liking ourselves and we'll have a smile on our

(12:38):
face even if we're not with anyone.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
So, James, what do you like about yourself?

Speaker 4 (12:46):
I like how easily enthused I am. There's easily mused,
but easily enthused. I get really excited over things, and
that helps fuel my desire to you know, work hard
at them and give myself into them. And you know,
it's like a self. It's key to intrinsic motivation. You know,

(13:09):
the more I throw myself into something, the more enthusiastic
I am about it, the more I like it. Study
show that that's true for anybody. Like if you, let's
say you like your job, you don't love it, if
you really like give everything you got to it. Study
show that after you know a few months of that,
you actually like your job more because you're more intertwined.

(13:30):
You're not constantly fighting yourself and always just right for me,
so you're not constantly questioning. You are living and embracing
your present circumstance. And so they say that's true for
most people. But I think I have that enthusiasm in
abundance for everything that I do, And as long as
I keep the right mindset and perspective, you know, I

(13:52):
can stay in that place of enthusiasm.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
Yeah, that's a law of attraction and action.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
They say that if you want to leave, if you
don't like your partner, or if you hate your job,
you're just going to replicate that in the next situation
you're in. So the best way to leave something is
to appreciate, be grateful for it, and that way what's
coming next will be infinitely better. So that definitely applies

(14:20):
to people as.

Speaker 3 (14:21):
Well as we.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
As we do this extreme sport called dating. All right,
thank you very much for joining us for breakfast every
weekday morning. It's a good life habit. I promise you
if you have this hashtag bliscipline and start with gratitude
in the morning and end with appreciation at night, you
will say that with your day in the most positive way.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
Thanks for joining us for breakfast.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
And now for the topic of the day.

Speaker 4 (14:59):
Well, well, we were gonna start with I think you
wanted to start with some the triple D dating, I
forget the third D. Something of a daily daily dating disaster.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
Disaster for the day is what I've been calling it.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
So we're starting with that because I think we got
some stories here which are going to be really fun
to to listen to and we're not gonna throw a
pity party. We're gonna turn it around into a constructive,
positive thing, as we do here. And then we were
gonna maybe talk about to date or not to date?
That is the question, and that that means is there

(15:39):
are periods in our life where I think we are
primed to go on those dates and meet those you know,
special people, and then there's other seasons of life where
maybe that that's not the time to make that the
central focus. And I'll put my moose on the table
and no, that's not naughty for any other part of me.

(16:01):
It's actually the moose that she's holding up right there.
It's Canadian version of uh, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna,
we're gonna call out the elephant in the room. Yeah.
So we're gonna talk about seasons in our life and
recognizing when we might be at our best for dating
and when maybe it doesn't have to be something that
we prioritize.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Sounds like a plan, and I've realized that I I
think that dating I'm gonna, you know, instead of getting
discouraged by the wild and wacky things that I encounter

(16:44):
while I'm swipe or no swiping, uh, and saying, you know,
this isn't the time. Obviously, I'm being shown by the
universe that it's there's just it's there's no matches here
and and it's kind of nutty. I've realized that it's
a great way to constantly have new material for my

(17:07):
stand up. So that is an awareness that I kind
of like, because one, it takes the pressure off and
I don't take it so personally. When I'm on the
phone with someone and they have very little on their
profile and they have very you know that you can't
tell what they do, can't tell you know where they like,

(17:30):
their experiences are. I got nothing to go by in
order to start talking except so, excuse me, what do
you do for work and play?

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Common question?

Speaker 2 (17:46):
Well, I'm not really doing anything. I am a disabled
I'm disabled.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
And excuse me.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
I think there was another word to use.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
I can't remember.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
And I'm like, oh, wanting to you know, not hang up,
but like, okay, this is self awareness and you know
you're and what are you disabled with? And it was.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
I don't know a couple of different diagnoses.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
And along with PTSD, and I'm like, oh, well, I'm
assuming you're you know, getting some help for that.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
Oh no, it's fine, I'm fine.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
And I'm like, okay, where do I go from here?
And it was truly one of those I mean, you know,
and we can talk about this. It's like to date
or not to date, to tell or not to tell.
I mean, at what point do you sort of you know,
my first trimester of relationships pregnancy model, right, the first

(19:07):
third you want to be the best you can be.
The second third trimester is when you get you know,
swollen ankles and you know the reality of who you
are and everybody's not perfect, right, So you have the
good side as you're selling your fruit, and then you
turn over the other side of the papaya and you
see all the warts and stuff, and it's like, at

(19:27):
what point.

Speaker 4 (19:28):
Do you do that?

Speaker 2 (19:29):
Maybe is the is the lesson out of that one,
but I was just like quite surprised at that. And
then when I said you're not getting help for that,
it took a turn for the worst as far as
the conversation.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
And when I mentioned do you feel judged when you
ask them about help?

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, And it wasn't meant as a judgment.
I mean this is what I do right, right for
a living. But I don't think it's an i mean
unexpected or out of the you know, realm of reality
for me to ask that question.

Speaker 4 (20:13):
No, I mean it really doesn't. He doesn't have to
necessarily take that as a judgment. I mean, it's more
just carry It could be construed as just carrying on
the conversation, like tell me about your journey with that,
you know, is what it could mean. And so, you know,
to get immediately defensive sometimes I think it's good right
seek first to understand before being understood. And you know,

(20:37):
I always like to ask clarifying questions if somebody says
something that initially rubs me the wrong way, just to
make sure that I'm you know, interpreting it appropriately. I
apologize for the background noise somebody has turned on a
leaf blower. I would just make sure that all my
windows are completely closed to try to mitigate that.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
Yeah, it's just a little white noise. It's fine, Okay,
good good.

Speaker 4 (21:03):
If it becomes an issue, let me know.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah, no worries.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
I yeah, so that was kind of surprising. I've I've
also changed up. I think you know, my process, right,
I match or I swipe, I match, and then I
asked that first question that we've modified based on some
feedback from you and doctor Tiffany, and I say, before

(21:28):
I get my hopes up, I'm allergic to cats and politics.
And so then they come back with I have a cat,
and there's been like a third with the cat, so
that you know it's it's been like they're so sad,
which is nice. And then and then after that, instead

(21:51):
of getting on video, because I've now realized that I
am so visually judgmental on what people look like that
I get on the phone first and just talk and
see if there's a you know, what I'm looking for
is a balance between talk all the time and not

(22:14):
talk at all. So I had another date where again
I don't know why I'm attracting these guys that literally
don't stop talking. Remember that one that the lady came
over and said, you're talking too much to my date?
I mean literally, And then the next one was like
yawning when I would talk the very little time that
I would talk. I had another one, and this was

(22:39):
at a sushi restaurant and he was a doctor. And
I don't think I've told you about this one right,
I don't think. So, yeah, So we're having and he
talked again the whole time, and when I would like
interject anything, it was a ah and then launch off
to his you know how he's one of the few

(23:02):
with this degree and this degree, and it was just
like unbelievable, the like an hour fifty eight minutes he
was talking, So it was it was quite the wow.
So so what I did was when I had talked

(23:22):
to him on the phone, he told me things that
he didn't like. Right, So when I mentioned I played madong,
uh huh, he said, well, at least it's in the daytime.
This nighttime is you know, the gambling aspect, and you know,
at least not I dated a girl that played majong
all the time, right, right, So this I knew about him.

(23:44):
So as this is progressing, I started saying, well, every
day this week, I have a madjunter. So by the
time he finished eating, he was like, I am out
of It was so funny because every single thing I

(24:06):
would be like, you know, to the point where I
have never had anybody like literally he stood up and
he said, you're welcome to stay, but I have to
go because traffic's really bad. It was one point thirty
trimes Andy lives up in Santa Monica or something like that,
because but I've got to go, and he literally and

(24:27):
then I he had paid for the bill, which was good.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
And then I looked at how much tip he left
four dollars.

Speaker 4 (24:38):
So like like almost nothing.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yeah, thank god I opened it and added some. But
I wasn't gonna offer to leave the tip or pay
right that's what he was looking for. But uh wow, James,
that was like one of those whoa that this it's
got to be for stand up because nobody is gonna
believe all of this is true. Every one of my

(25:02):
crazy stories is drue And isn't that great? It'll keep
everything fresh on my.

Speaker 4 (25:07):
Stand up totally totally. You know, it's interesting to me
when you were speaking about how a lot of these
guys just talking talk doc talk. I was thinking how
different causes can lead to the same outcome, and like,
I'm thinking, why would somebody There's so many people do that,
and it can't all be for the same reason. Not
every guy you know is a self obsessed narcissist. I

(25:31):
think some of it is also due to just insecurity
and when people feel insecure. They blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah. You know, they blather, they talk because
they're seeking signs of approval from you or whatever it
might be. And you know, because you're a successful multi
hyphen it, guys that aren't out there moving and shaking

(25:51):
as much as you are, you know, might feel insecure.
And it doesn't excuse the behavior because you have to,
you know, legitimately have interest in the other person and listen.
You know, my dad always said, Lord gave you two
ears in one mouth, use them in that ratio two
to one. Listen more than you talk. But it's so

(26:12):
fascinating to me that on that date the behavior can
be the same, but the cost could be entirely different.
One is self obsessed, cocky, overly confident. The other is
completely insecure. And I think both you know, can can contribute,
you know, to that same effect. Just you know, different

(26:32):
people end up doing the same behavior for different reasons.
I just find that interesting.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah, yeah, well it's definitely you know dating an HD
hope disappointment. Hope disappointment. Now I'm not going to have hope.
It's material, it's good for stand up, it's good that
that is so that way, it doesn't you know, it's
more funny than irritating. Definitely, yes, definitely, all right, let's see,

(27:04):
let's let's do you have any lately?

Speaker 4 (27:08):
I don't, which is kind of what inspired me to
create this topic. I've just been so busy with personal
training stuff lately, and lots of auditions coming in at
the end of the year, and just really focused on
building out this corporate Zoom personal training that I've been doing.
It's such a blessed, such an opportunity that I'm really
throwing myself into that and behind that, and I just

(27:32):
don't feel like I have the time or the energy
to do all the swiping and the lead up to
the dates. That said, if I'm out and about and
I see somebody attractive, I'm going right up to them,
getting their number, trying to arrange a date. But it's
because I'm already there and they're right in front of me,
so I get to skip all the swiping steps and
all the preliminary and I'm like, yep, meets the physical.

(27:55):
I like their vibe, their energy feeling that let's see
if I can create today. So I'm taking a more
streamlined direct approach just due to how full my plate
is right now with other things that are really important
to me.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
Well that might you know, that might be the answer,
or that might be the I would say the trick.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
It's not a trick, but.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
The key to unlock that because they do say if
you're not looking, that's when it happens.

Speaker 3 (28:24):
That's one adage.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
But you actually did talk about this the last time
we were on. This was your new strategy, So this
is not new. This is part two of the decision
of doing this.

Speaker 4 (28:39):
So it's an evolution that there's been an evolution in
my thinking around it. Like I used to have the
case of the shoulds, so i'd you know, you really
should carve out some time this way, you really should
carve out some time for this because it's what you
ultimately want. And yes, while it is something that I
ultimately want and is a priority, it's just not at

(29:01):
the top of the priority list right now, not in
this season. So I've got my toe in the water.
But you know it's just in if I see somebody,
I go for it. You know, it's a very opportunistic
way of dating. It's like a predator in the African savannah.
See the gazelle, chase it, eat it. But I'm not

(29:24):
out there walking for miles in the hot, dry heat.
You know.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
Look, I'm having another Santa's Pants in the nuts and
Santa's pants moment because of the visual of you eating
an animal after chasing it. So with that, I better
like take a break for News with their traffic.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
Very naughty, very naughty today.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Naughty. I cannot believe you just said that, knowing where
my mind is and is going.

Speaker 4 (30:02):
But I love responsible for the proclivities of your mind,
my darling, Oh.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
My lord almighty, thank you so much for tuning in today.
We'll be right back more uh straight talk with myself.

Speaker 4 (30:22):
And James Athorn.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
We'll be right back into and two. Uh Chuck woollery,
thank you for that. But we'll be back unless I
actually have a word from a specific sponsor that I
did talk about earlier. So uh, hope, if you're in
this boat right now and you have no idea what
you're going to get people for Christmas, this uh the

(30:49):
PSA announcement is for you.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
We'll be right back.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
Jake with doctor Moory, Jake back your life with doctor Burray.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
And we're back.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
You're tuned in to take my advice, I'm not using it.
Get balanced with doctor Marris in the morning show Here
on KZYAA NBC News radio AM ten fifty FM AL
six point five and streaming everywhere.

Speaker 4 (31:36):
You know.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
Most experts encourage early holiday shopping, but let's be honest,
many of us still end up hunting four gifts at
the last minute. Here to share how procrastination. I've always
wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around
to it, but may actually work in your favor. Is

(31:59):
a WAR winning journalist and shopping expert Claudia Labana. Claudia
is an Emmy and Peabody Award winner Congratulations who regularly
analyzes shopping trends for TV. Please welcome to my studio,
Claudia Lobana. Good morning, Cladia, Good morning, I war and welcome.

(32:30):
That's lovely good Now, why are people still shopping at
the last minute?

Speaker 7 (32:37):
You said it best procrastination. There are so many of
us out there, myself included. We are expecting about fifty
percent of US shoppers to make purchases on Super Saturday,
which is the last Saturday before Christmas happens.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
So if you're a procrastinator like me. You are not alone.

Speaker 7 (32:57):
The upside is that there are a good labs last
minute deals to be had. Retailers want to keep those
consumers coming in until the last minute, so you are
going to be able to find some surprise savings out
there even if you are shopping at the last minute.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Sounds good.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Now, how about a great gift for the foodie or
snack lover.

Speaker 7 (33:17):
Yeah, we've got some great last minute ideas today, and
for the snack lever out there. I love the snacks
and treats and dried fruit and chocolates from nuts dot com.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
Nuts dot com.

Speaker 7 (33:29):
It has all these wonderful options, but they are such
a good option for giving gifts now. Nuts dot com
offers holiday tins, They've got gift boxes, festive picks like
the Nutcracker Trio. They also have another fun one called
Santa's Pants, which is full of delicious treats and chocolates
and nuts where you can even personalize your own snack

(33:52):
tray by choosing five out of one hundred different options.
So a nice little treat there for personalization. Is offering
Christmas shipping through December twenty third, so that's really great
for those last minute purchases and new customers can save
twenty percent.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
It's a good thing. This is an FCC children friendly channel,
or i'd say something about Sada's pants. Do you have
a suggestion for outdoor enthusiasts?

Speaker 7 (34:24):
Absolutely so. Arii for me is the go to when
it comes to anything outdoors, whether you are a beginner
or a seasoned adventure It just helps get everybody outside
to give these types of gifts. They've got everything for
every budget, from cozy hats to fun campfire.

Speaker 5 (34:42):
Games and gear.

Speaker 7 (34:43):
They even have their popular socks, which, by the way,
they say they will sell more than two million pairs
of socks this holiday season.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
Some other top picks.

Speaker 7 (34:53):
Include the Rei Flash twenty two backpack, which is great
for school or work or weekend adventuring. And then they're
very popular camp Snap digital camera. Now, the camp Snap
digital camera has no screen so you can be present
and in the moment. This has been a very popular
gift item this year. Orei has one hundred and ninety

(35:14):
five stores, or you can shop at orei dot com
before December eighteenth for your standard shipping.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Great.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
Now let's talk tech. I shall say Turkey, but that's
over let's talk tech. What's top in the list this year?

Speaker 7 (35:30):
Cell phones always at the top of the list for
electronics for the last many many years. This year is
no different. But what is different is the amazing deal
that we have for you from Metro by T Mobile,
which of course runs on America's best mobile network. Now,
this is a deal with no gimmicks, just great value.
They are offering the iPhone sixteen E free after rebate

(35:52):
when you bring your number with you now. The plans
start at fifty dollars a month with auto pay that
includes taxes and fees. Monthly you get unlimited talk, text,
and five G data with a five year rate lock.
So this is really an incredible deal if you are
in the market for an affordable upgrade or the gift

(36:13):
of an iPhone sixteen e from Metro by T Mobile fantastic.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
What about a great gift for the home owner.

Speaker 7 (36:21):
This is a great one for the homeowner, but I
also really like this as a host or host's s
gift for all the holiday parties.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
That we'll be going to.

Speaker 7 (36:28):
This is the ge led plus speaker and color bulb. Now,
this is a memorable gift for the holiday season. It's
not just a light bulb. This is actually a Bluetooth
speaker built into the light bulb with customizable lighting. You
can match any mood or celebration. It brings light, sound, color,

(36:50):
so really you can fill any space with joy. The
setup couldn't be more simple. You just screw in the bulb,
you pair, and you play. You can have one bulb
where you can have multiple throughout the house, compare them
to play all the same music. Comes with eight vibrant
colors that will play along with your music, or you
can select one color. You can even select the traditional

(37:11):
beautiful soft white for year round. Use a really great
last minute gift. Indoor and outdoor versions on this bulb
and you can go to shop dot g E Lighting
dot com to have a look at this one.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
I just love when I see something new that I've
never seen before. This is definitely the gift for someone
who has everything. Mean, yeah, anyone coming on my place?

Speaker 3 (37:34):
You know what to get? That's awesome?

Speaker 2 (37:38):
And where can we get more information for those of
us who procrastinated to get on the show today, And.

Speaker 7 (37:44):
Of course if you can head over to tips on
tv dot com.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Thank you so much, Claudia.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Now go and have the best holiday ever. Thank you having.

Speaker 8 (38:00):
You're back.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
You're tuned to take my advice. I'm not using a
kid balance with Doctor Murrissa of the Morning Show. You're
on gaysy AA, NBC News and streaming everywhere, including live
on my YouTube TV channel, where if you free subscribe
and give me the finger, this one not the other one,
you will get an alert every weekday morning to tune

(38:22):
into the show about hope and happiness. And speaking of.

Speaker 9 (38:26):
Which, my co host today has an offer for the
holidays of you guys, do he does James tell us
what you're offering as the hashtag Asian Oprah Giveaway or
James Hawthorn Giveaway.

Speaker 4 (38:43):
So hi everybody, If you message me at Action Man
Fitness on Instagram and say that you're coming from Doctor
Marissa's show Straight Talk, I'm gonna offer you my seven
Pillars of Good Nutrition alaw with a grocery shopping list
that help get you started. So rather than a fad

(39:06):
diet or a or something like that, I want to
help you build the lifestyle habits that are going to
help you keep fat off, take fat off, and keep
fat off. And these seven pillars they don't have to
be applied all at once. You can apply one or
two at a time, build the habit layer on the
next two, and before you know it, you're going to
be eating and living in a way where it's automatic,

(39:28):
where it's not a sure or something that requires you
to change your whole life. It's just going to be
the way that you live. And it makes getting healthy
and staying healthy so easy. And I'm going to share
all that information with you totally Grattis if you message
me on Instagram. So rather than making it your New
Year's resolution to lose weight or start eating better, do

(39:50):
it now. If you can practice that discipline during the holidays,
then you can do it any time of year. So
it don't hesitate to reach out at Action Man Fitness
all one word on Instagram and I will send you
my seven Pillars of Nutritional Excellence with a grocery shopping
list to get you started. And there you have it.

Speaker 2 (40:16):
Welcome back to the show. Now you can see from
that mini interview there the sponsor interview, why I have
been a little bit naughty that there were so many
things in there. There were even new things, but I
didn't realize. But anyways, we are talking about dating and
relationships as we do on Straight Talk, and in particular,

(40:41):
to date or not to date is one of the
questions that we're answering today. I have said answered that
by saying yes I am dating to supply myself with
great new material for my stand up those of you
who know that I am, I'm uh swiper, nose swiping.

(41:01):
That is the conclusion from the first half. April is
here in the cash youw gallery having some health issues.
Good morning, all right, all right.

Speaker 4 (41:13):
That's you health and wellness this holiday season, April. I
hope that that that that Santa brings you good health
and recovery.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
Yeah, thank you, James.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
That's very nice.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
All right, So how how do you, uh, let me
just go back to one thing that I said when
you were doing breakfast James on the law of attraction
of when to date and when not to date.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
If you if you have.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Had really bad experiences with dating, that is not the
time to quit dating. So that's applying the law of
attraction again. Can you appreciate and be a great full
dater at that point choose to not date. That'll be
better than saying strew it. This is a stupid I

(42:09):
can't believe the idiocy of guys out there. That's from
me and my experiences, and this is ridiculous. And all
the good guys are already married, and the ones that
aren't are looking for a young, dumb version of you
know me.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
So I'm not.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Interested in putting myself out there. I don't want to
dip any part of my body into the dating pool.
That is not the way to end dating. But if
you get like James is saying, you know, I enjoy dating.
I've met to some great people, but right now there's

(42:54):
other priorities. And so instead of shooting on myself and saying, oh,
I should have done this or I should have done
that with the swipe or no swiping, to just accept.
I think that's a good ease word. Right. Are you
accepting where you are without feeling like you're missing something? No, Fomo,

(43:18):
Abraham Hicks says, you are. You're satisfied with what is
and eager for more. Satisfy what is and eager for more.

Speaker 4 (43:30):
Here's a similar one that I like. When it comes
to like accomplishments and reaching new heights in your life.
In any arena, be momentarily pleased, but never satisfied. It's
not like you've arrived just because you've gotten to the
next level. It's hey, this is a win, this is great.

(43:53):
Let that fuel you for you know, further evolution in
your own self growth, for further accomplid if it's something
you know, career or health or wellness or athletic driven.
You know, so it's be be take a moment to
appreciate the win, but then roll up the sleeves again
and say, all right, Where's what's the next thing that

(44:14):
I can conquer? Where's the next place where I can grow?
What's the next level of enjoyment I can achieve? They
say that our character is tested when times are tough,
and that you know applies to anything. Can you can
you keep your faith? Can you keep your positive outlook
when times are tough? It's easy when times are good.

(44:35):
But when you can go out there and write, dance
like no one's watching, love like you've never been hurt, exactly,
it has all the time, love like you've never been hurt.
I mean, when you can do those things when you
know you're not necessarily feeling your best, that builds character.
I definitely believe that. But it's also okay, I think

(44:56):
if there's times when your priority shift. So you know,
I'm currently taking making the streamline dating attack as we
talked about earlier, and seeing what you know, the universe
brings my way. So I'm still staying in a place
of openness, hope, desire to connect and build that relationship
with somebody, but I'm not investing as much time to

(45:17):
create those opportunities. I'm more going arms wide open and
seeing what comes to me instead of you know, reaching
right now. And that just feels right. So I stopped
the should dialogue in my mind about oh, I should
be spending more time swiping to create dates, et cetera,

(45:39):
just because I have other things right now that just
feel more important. But it's not, you know, an all
or nothing thing. It's just it's just a shipping the
priorities for those that are in the Cashew gallery I am.
I'm curious, if you're not driving, what signals do you
get internally, whether mentally emotionally that tell you this is

(46:00):
a time where I really want to, you know, invest
in dating versus this is a time when I'm going
to put that on the back burner. How how does
that feeling or intuition or message come to you because
I know what my process, you know, has been, like,
I'm curious to hear from other people and documents. I
know that you're continuing this wife and date. Have there

(46:21):
been times when you have been in a season where
it just doesn't feel like a high priority, It feels
like you're just less eager to do it. And what
that feels like when when that.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
Comes in seven years, I had no interest in dating
at all.

Speaker 3 (46:43):
I'm my own best friend.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
I get to give myself of flowers or whatever it is.
I do what I want, when I want, how I want.
And then after the seventh year, I was going on
eight years, I realized that if I did not have
a relationship, I would be that woman with the gray

(47:07):
hair and the turquoise and the cats. And I'm allergic
to cats. And I can remember having that awareness of Okay,
they do say that relationships make.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
Life better, I have not.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Really experienced that. My husband sort of put the exclamation
mark on you don't want to have a relationship because
you know, love is grand, divorces one hundred grand or more. So,
I you know, I had that moment and I remember
when I was in Vegas, I said, if if something

(47:43):
doesn't change, right, you know, I'm it's gonna I'm gonna
close up literally, affiguratively.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
That was the moment of clarity.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
And then then, to be honest it the most difficult
cult thing was carving out the time because I was
so I hate jobs. I love my work, and I
love my work like I'm not the person that, oh,
I gotta go to work. I love my work and
eighty eight percent.

Speaker 3 (48:15):
Of it I love doing.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Twelve percent of the time I don't, but the eighty
eight percent is the majority. So when I do swipe
or no swipe, trying to even fit that in is
perceived as I don't have time for a relationship. So
mine's kind of the opposite. I have to communicate and

(48:40):
act in a way that I want a relationship.

Speaker 4 (48:44):
Yeah, yeah, And that's very law of attraction. It's very true.
You know, you put that energy out there and do it.
But I've been having a shift lately in the way
that I look at things and realizing that you ever
meet people and things just seem to fall into their
lap and life just feels easy for them, And I'm like,

(49:07):
how is it that they are in this like flow state?
And I'm not. You know, at time, I'm not saying
I'm not, but you know, there are certain times when
I'm like, man, this just seems so easy for them,
And I think you can create some of that. Or
you can approach life with an arms wide open posture

(49:27):
and just be present. And when you're present in your
own life and not thinking, oh I should, or you know,
if you're regretting the past or you're shoulting yourself about
your future, you're not mentally and fully spiritually present in
the moment, and I think you can miss opportunities. It's
like that parable where you know, some people of faith

(49:50):
were on the roof of this house, you know, during
a flood, and they're like, Lord, please save me. And
you know, someone comes by in a boat and says
jump in, and they're like no, no, no, oh no no,
the Lord's going to save me. A rescue helicopter comes
and you know, no, the Lord's going to save me.
And these people finally they get washed away and they're
you know, fighting for their lives. Lord, I thought I

(50:12):
had faith. I thought you were supposed to save me,
he said, I sent you a boat in a helicopter. Well,
what's your issue? So sometimes things happen in ways that
you know we don't. We can't understand, we can't plan
for or expect, and we can't manufacture ourselves. So my
shift is that it's important to be mindful, intentional, and

(50:33):
invest time in the thing you care about. But it's
also so important to be present and just really see
and perceive the way that the universe is already conspiring
in your favor without you having to necessarily do anything.
Sometimes things just work when you have the intention and

(50:53):
then you let life happen. I think there's a balancing
act between making your best life and letting life happen.

Speaker 8 (51:00):
Absolutely whend to hold wind, to fold the serenity, prayer,
the courage to change the things I can. If you're
a changer, mover, forcer, manipulator, you might want to do
the accept the things that I cannot change.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
For sure, something came up. I did not tell you
about a very quick relationship. This chapter in my book
lasted five days, so it was a very intense. You
actually met him, but at that time it was not
anything I know you had to go to. I hope

(51:35):
you landed that thing you had to go to that day. Anyways,
the audition So what I realized was this is a
point I'd like to get your your point of view
on this or your pointed view of this. When when

(51:56):
people say we can date, and I have to, it's
always friends first, right, and then romance, And I said, nope,
I have friends. It's like Jerry seidfelds, here's a quarter.
I have a lot of friends. I love my friends,

(52:17):
and it takes time to have friendships. So when I'm dating,
I'm dating specifically for not a friend, but for a date,
for a relationship, and of course we're going to be friends,
but the romance and the relationship is my number one whatever.
And that broke us up. So yeah, because he didn't

(52:43):
think that I was serious, or I didn't think I
knew he was serious.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
But it's like I.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
I did not want to, you know, like, you know,
how do you deal with that difference? Is it just
one of those I have cats and I'm allergic to cats,
or is it something that you have to come to
the middle around.

Speaker 4 (53:09):
Yeah, one thought that popped into my head. It's an
interesting take. Is I think sometimes we and this isn't
you know, just for you, This could be him too,
But I didn't hear exactly. I didn't hear what he
said or what you said. But sometimes we can talk
ourselves out of, you know, potential between one another by

(53:29):
putting labels on things and saying, well, I want to
be friends first. Oh well, I want to have the
romance first. Well why do we have to you know,
say that so declaratively and firmly. You know, the two
kind of can happen in parallel. And you know, a
belief on whether you have to be friends first shouldn't

(53:50):
negate what is currently happening between you and the other person.
So sometimes if we're too rigid or firm in our beliefs,
we can miss what's going on right in front of us. So,
you know, even if there's a philosophical difference about that,
you know what that might translate to is the romance

(54:13):
might be slow to grow for him, it might be
fast for you. But so what if you're both enjoying
the time you're spending together and it's going well, what
your beliefs are on whether you're friends first or romance first,
it doesn't have to matter as much. So I don't
know if this happened between the two of you, but
I guess my word of caution would be make sure

(54:36):
that you don't talk or philosophize, yeah, yourself out of
something good happening in the moment.

Speaker 5 (54:45):
I agree that.

Speaker 4 (54:50):
It is.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
It doesn't sound at one level as a deal breaker, right, right,
here's what you're saying. But I think both of us
knew underlying that there was some critical differences that maybe
aren't showing up as critical now. But when you are

(55:16):
fundamentally different, but you have your you are what's that word,
you're compromising, like from get go, right, So it's kind
of like hat dog right, Yeah, And.

Speaker 4 (55:35):
That's a compatibility issue. And we've talked about, you know,
compatibility being the most important ingredient. But you know, I
go back and forth in my own life on that
compatibility piece where it's like, Okay, I don't necessarily I
don't see right now in this moment how something long
term can last. But also in this moment, I am

(55:57):
enjoying this moment. So you know that there was a
from from the movie Broke Back Mountain. They're trying to,
you know, negotiate how they deal with their torrid love
for one another, and one of the cowboys, I don't
remember if it was Jake Jill and Aller Heath Ledgers goes, well,
maybe we just ride it till it bucks this, you know.
And so you know, there's something to be said for

(56:18):
enjoying what you have in the moment, even if you
don't see long term potential, because when you look at
your roadmap of life, how you got to where you
are today, and if you were to go back forty
years ago, thirty years ago and ask yourself, is this
how I thought I would get here? Odds are for

(56:39):
most people we got to where we got to by
crazy ways and happenstances and you know, decisions that we
never could have predicted. So, you know, I think to
prematurely say, look, there's a fundamental difference. I don't see
a long term future. Let's cut it off now. Sometimes
that's appropriate, especially if you don't want to waste time,

(57:00):
which there's also a lot of value for. If you're
enjoying it in the moment, enjoy it and just see
what conspires to either make things work or not, you know.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
And I enjoyed it for three days and I was
totally in it. And then and then to counterbalance what
you're saying, I don't disagree with you but when you
have this kind of angst, right and and difference so early, right,

(57:32):
like it's it shouldn't be this difficult this early. That's
my point.

Speaker 4 (57:39):
Oh sure, I mean if it's difficult and it's causing
you to not enjoy the moment, well then you know
that's But if you're enjoying the moment, even if you
don't see a long term future, you know, like they
say in AA, one day at a time, maybe that's
good advice.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
For life, you know, yeah, yes, yes. And at the
same time, that also leads to some level of denial,
right or insanity going to the tractor for milk, right
when you know that's not what you're okay with and
you still do it. So lots of different you know,

(58:16):
nuanced assets and nuances and and I think that that's
a good place to leave it because we're at a time.
But you know, have fun and balance it with insanity.
That's my final Peking James author and on straight talk
with myself.

Speaker 4 (58:35):
And as she said, James authorne now go and have
the best weekend in week ever.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
It's all about balance piece in piece out world, peace
through inner piece.

Speaker 10 (58:50):
Alrightyps hey you yeah you do you know where you are.

Speaker 11 (59:07):
Well, you've done it. Now you're listening to casey AA
Loma Linda, your CNBC news station. So expect the unexpected.

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