June 11, 2025 • 42 mins
CBS Radio Mystery Theater - Ghost Talk
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Come in welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I'm e G.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Marshall.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Sit down any way you like. I have a small
confession to make. I am crazy about ghosts, and I cannot,
for the life of me comprehend why anyone should be
afraid of them?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
What?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
After all, what do ghosts do?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
They haunt? That's all. To haunt means to visit, to
frequent in short, to hang around. What's so scary about that?
A hopeful lover hangs around a lot. If an inspiring
lover or a wistful compatriot can hang around without inspiring fear,
not an anxious ghost?
Speaker 5 (01:02):
Is it? Is it really you?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yes, Melba? It is I? Who don't cry? Melba?
Speaker 5 (01:16):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I can't help it, all right, dearest, go ahead and cry.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Paul Pauh tell me something? What are you happy? Where
where you are?
Speaker 6 (01:41):
I'm really sorry you asked me that, Melba.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Our mystery drama ghost Talk was written especially for the
Mystery Theater by l Speth, Eric and Stars. It's LINKA
Peterson and Elliott Red. Yes, ghosts haunt places. Traditionally they
(02:18):
haunt large decrepit mansions with long halls, extensive staircases, and
musty attics. But these big old edifices have all disappeared
from our landscape, and it is more than likely that
the ghost of today has to restrict himself to one
bedroom apartments with bath, kitchenette and dining area.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Poor ghosts.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Will he give up haunting altogether?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Or will he do what we've done?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I just Melba, You'll have my number, yes, Leonard, both
at home and at the office.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
If there's anything I can do, Melba, anything.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
At all, I'll call you.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Bless you, my dear.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Yeah, oh Paul, where are you?
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Where?
Speaker 7 (03:09):
Oh, Irene, it's me.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
They've all gone. Leonard Whipple was the last to lead.
I'm all alone. No, I'm not crying. I'm trying to
be brave and calm and remember everything you told me.
Leonard said to call him if I needed anything. But
what does that mean?
Speaker 7 (03:46):
I need my husband, I need Paul.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Ah. No, Irene, I couldn't go to the movies. No,
I'll just sit here and think about Paul, all the
beautiful memories. Twenty two years of beautiful memories, you know, Irene.
I keep thinking all the time of what you said
(04:13):
to me after the funeral. You said, Paul will never
be really dead as long as he's remembered. I keep
saying that over and over. Paul isn't really dead as
long as he's remembered. I want to thank you, Irene
for that beautiful thought. It means everything to me.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh, Melba, Melba, how goes it?
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Paul?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Hello, it's Bruce, isn't it. I'm you here. I haven't
got everybody straight yet.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
You never will. It doesn't matter. Yes, I am Bruce.
Mind if I join you?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I wish you would.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
You had a particularly beatific expression on your face just now.
As I was floating by.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I was thinking of my wife, My wife, Melba. Why why? Well,
actually because she was thinking of me, remembering our wedding day.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I was touched.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
You're really very new here, aren't you.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Yes, very At the start, everybody is either touched that
they're remembered, apprehensive that they won't be, or furious that
they're not.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Melburgh feels that no one is really dead as long
as he's remembered.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Is that what you want to be? Not really dead?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It sounds nice, Well it isn't.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I don't know how you can say that, because I
happen to know from bitter personal experience. My sainted mother
remembered me every day of her life after I died,
till the day she died and joined me here. Since
her arrival, I'm happy to say we've exchanged precisely six words.
While back she had the grace to apologize. I'm sorry, son,
I didn't understand those were the six words.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Sorry for what for remembering me? What was she supposed
to do?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Well?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Forget?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
For goodness sakes. I wouldn't expect her to forget immediately,
of course that would be unreasonable, But as soon as
possible put me out of her mind. My life on
earth was over.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I'm sure she meant, well your mother.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
After you hear a while, you'll realize that everybody doesn't
mean well and quite often does a lot of harm.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
But your mother loved you.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
Then?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Why not leave me alone to enjoy myself? Why wake
up in the middle of the night to remember how
handsome I look the day I graduated from dental college?
So inconsiderate?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Why was it inconsiderable?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Because, my dear fellow, if she kept it up long enough,
I'd have to stop whatever I was doing and go
visit her, visit her?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
How could you do that? How well?
Speaker 3 (06:53):
The way it's always done as a ghost.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
Of course, Irene, it's me. Oh all right, I guess
Leonyard was here. We sent out for Chinese food. He
left about an hour ago. Oh, I'm just sitting here
(07:19):
and remembering. I got out the old picture album to
show Leonyard. I don't think Leonard cares too much for travel.
I wasn't sorry when he left. Looking at the snapshots
and remembering the beautiful life I had with Paul, it
seemed to bring him closer. Oh, I mean it, Irene.
(07:40):
A couple of times I felt as though he was
right here in the room with me.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Honestly, Bruce, Oh Bruce, that's you.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Paul.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I had a terrible time finding you.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Well, now you have.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I asked everybody where you were, and nobody knew. And
then Salomy said, oh, he's probably out strolling among the stars.
That's his favorite pastime. But I had no idea how
many stars there are?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
You still haven't any idea, actually, neither of I and
I've been here heaven knows how long. So far? This
is my favorite galaxy, but of course I haven't seen
them all.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Has anyone do you think?
Speaker 5 (08:20):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I suppose he has.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
He must have seen everything since the beginning of time.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And before that. Yes, what made you come looking for me?
Something special?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Bruce? I can't get a moment to myself on account
of Melbourne, your wife. You know what she did. She
got out an old snapshot album and started looking over
all the pictures we took on our vacations, birthdays, Christmases ago.
They all do it. The worst part is she showed
all these pictures to a friend of mine, of hers ours,
Leonard Whipple. He couldn't have cared less.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
She's really hanging on to you, isn't.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
She's very nice of her and all that, but it's
terribly exciting for me being here. Everything's so completely different. Oh,
there she goes again. Here hear that vaguely. She just
(09:18):
keeps after me and keeps after What about this Leonard Whipple.
Well he's a very nice guy, but he's not gonna
hang around much longer if she makes him look at
pictures of our honeymoon and the Grand Canyon.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
You couldn't just ignore her, I suppose.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Well, she's my wife and I love her. I mean,
she was my wife and I did love her, but
now things are different.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
I'd say so. Well, for goodness, sake.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Look there.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
If it isn't him him, you mean it really him?
I haven't seen him and eons I never.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Have, sir, Sir, Please no, yes, am I right, yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
And this is Paul. He's new I.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Know an alcohol.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I'm really thrilled to meet you, sir.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
The galaxy is looking well, doesn't you.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I love this galaxy, Sir. You set it out so neatly.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
There's one start I've being concerned about. I think it's
beginning to twinkle out.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Sir, as long as we were so fortunate just to
run into you like this. Could we have your advice
about something?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You know?
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I dislike giving advice.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
It's for me, sir. I don't know what to do
about my wife.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Is she here?
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, she's with a living on earth.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Oh and she's grieving. Well that's to be expected. She'll
stop after a while.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
She doesn't show any signs of stopping. I was wondering
if I shouldn't, you know, appear to her. Bruce says,
it's a simple procedure.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Well you could do that, of course. We never thought
very highly of that ghost business. So theatrical.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
But if it'll make her feel better.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
I suppose we do all a measure of responsibility to
the living.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
You think I could go back for a short visit.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
You're free to do as you like. If I were
to tell you what to do, you wouldn't be free anymore,
would you.
Speaker 8 (11:21):
Well, if you just tell me what you think, No,
I really can't do that. That would be tantamount of
telling you what to do because of me being who
I am.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
You see, you think I have all the answers everybody
thinks so, well, I don't. There are countless things I
haven't found answers to. However, I, like everyone else, I
keep trying. And now I really have to go to
see if that poor star is feeling any pain. You'll
both excuse me.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
He wasn't much help.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Well that's his way, do you.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
There she goes again, Bruce, I'm going to turn ghost
and visit her.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
At least you've made a decision.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
How do I go about it?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Well, there are no hard and fast rules. Actually, not
many of us do it. It's considered kind of freaky freaky.
Look how many of us there are, and how few
of them. If we altered the ghost walking, we'd have
them outnumbered trillions to one.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I don't care. I want to do it. I just
need to know how well.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
You can do it in the old fashioned way, clanking chains, winds,
whistling through the trees, moon behind black clouds and all that.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I don't think Melbourne would go for that.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Oh then there's the crying, sobbing type of ghost, inconsolable weeping.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Since I don't feel particularly inconsolable.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Then there's the ghost that flits through the halls, appearing
and disappearing. Now you see it, now you don't.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
We don't have a haul, just a rather small foyer.
Can't I just appear in some simple, straightforward way, just
say here, I am dear.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
You wouldn't want to start with one weird uncanny shriek
I wouldn't know how, or a sardonic laugh or what.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Would I be laughing at?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Oh? Life, death, anything in between. Well, if you don't
want to do any of those things, things which he
calls theatrical, then just appear.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
That's more my style, I think.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
But wrap a bit of vapor around you, after all,
they need something to identify you by, and don't stay
too long, and above all, don't let it depress you.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Why should it depress me?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Hm. You'll find out, my friend, You'll find out.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
It never occurred to me that a visitation by a
ghost could be depressing. Take now that well known ghost
of Hamlet's father, speaking spookily from the battlement at l Or.
Of course, he didn't sound happy. How could he when
his own brother had just killed him and promptly married
his widow. He sounded angry yes, vengeful yes, but depressed no,
(14:14):
and certainly not depressing. I'll return shortly with that two.
Our moribund hero Paul has decided to return to Earth
as a ghost and haunt the three room apartment where
(14:37):
he once lived with his wife Melba. He has simply
draped what remains of him in a shred of celestial vapor,
and now, as he gazes through the living room window
of what used to be his own tenth floor apartment,
he can scarcely be distinguished from the melting moonlight that
floods the room inside. Nothing's changed, she hasn't changed thing.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
Let's take our coffee into the living room.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Leonard good idea.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I think I picked the wrong time.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
Bring in that plate of cookies, will you right?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Not those same old oatmeal things.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I've always been crazy about oatmeal cookies.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
They were Paul's favorites. Set them down there. Cream in
your coffee, sugar.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Uh black please, no sugar.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
That's the way Paul took his is after dinner, coffee
in the morning, cream and sugar, yes, but after dinner nothing.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Is that so?
Speaker 5 (15:34):
And milk in his tea.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
You don't say that's the English.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
Way, you know, milk and tea.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I didn't know Paul was English.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
He wasn't. Oh I see, oh, way back five six generations.
He was English.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
But I myself was born in Wales.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Is that so?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (15:55):
Well, that's near England.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Richard Burton is Elch, you know.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
For goodness sakes, why didn't you know that the.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Last movie Paul and I saw together had Richard Burton
in it. I wanted to show you something fascinating, Paul's
World War Two uniform. I've saved it all these years. No,
I don't not tonight and his Captain's bars some other time.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I've really got to be moving on.
Speaker 5 (16:22):
If you really have to.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Such a beautiful night, I think I'll walk home.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
Yes, a beautiful night. Oh just look at the moonlight
streaming through that window.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Cared to walk Aways with me in the moonlight.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Oh no, I don't think so, Leonard. I have a
lot of things to do here.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
It well, if there's anything you need, you have my number, yes,
at home and at the office.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Good night, Melbae. Thanks for dinner.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Thank you for bringing all that Friday chicken.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
It was nothing really, good night, good night Leonard.
Speaker 9 (17:07):
Oh Paul, Dear Paul, I need you, Paul Melbourne, I
need you.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
So I'm right here. What was that I said? I'm here, Paul, Yes, me, Paul,
But who are by the window?
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Dear? I can't see you.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I'll step inside. That'll be better.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
I see I see something.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
You see me? I dare say I've changed somewhat?
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Paul. Can that beat you?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It is? I really beat you, well fairly really, everything
considered as real as I can get. I can't believe it,
believe it, Melburah.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
Oh, Paul, how are you never mind about me?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Are you? Oh?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I'm all right? Really all right, everything considered, everything considered.
I'm better than.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
All right, pouh. Tell me?
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Are you happy?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Happy?
Speaker 5 (18:28):
I must know? Are you happy?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
I'm sorry you asked me that question?
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Why should you be sorry?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Happy just isn't a word we use? Why not because
it it doesn't mean much once you've died.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Oh, Paul, you're not saying you're unhappy.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
No, I'm not saying that.
Speaker 5 (18:51):
Then what are you saying?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Look, Melburagh, I didn't really come here to talk about me.
What about you?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Well, naturally I'm not happy.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Why not without you? What about Leonard Whipple him? What's
the matter with Leonard?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
When nothing's the matter with him? He's just not you.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Well I'm not me either, not the way I was
before I all, but.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
I remember you the way you were, And as long
as I remember.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Melba, honey, I don't even remember me the way I was.
You don't not very well.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
You remember me, don't you?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Sort of sort of? Well, you were my wife.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
I'm still your wife, not exactly. There will never be
anyone for me, but you never. I swear it.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Please.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
We are man and wife forever for eternity. And now
that I know you can return to me. Not in
the flesh perhaps, but even like this. It's strange, it's weird,
but it's enough for me. I can live on as
you're wife, and on and on till I join you.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Melbourne. You don't know what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
Oh, I knew you could never really die as long
as I remembered you. And you see here you are
living on Hello irene, me guess what you'll never guess.
(20:29):
Paul was here, yes, yes, yes, right here in this
living room, all right, and his ghost whatever, well he
looked different, yes, sort of steeney, kind of like a
street light on a foggy night. But I knew it
was Paul, all right. His voice and the things he said,
(20:51):
and the way he called me Melba dear, well, he
didn't say too much. I asked him was he happy,
because naturally I wanted to know, but he wouldn't say.
He wouldn't say he wasn't unhappy either. Isn't that weird?
He wanted to know about me, Am I happy? Isn't
that sweet? And he asked about Leonard Whipple, imagine him
(21:15):
knowing I've been seeing Leonard off and on. Of course,
I told him Leonard doesn't mean a thing to me,
that there could never be anyone else for me. I said, Paul,
we are man and wife for eternity. I said, you
can never truly die, Paul, as long as I remember you.
And then you know what, there was this big, great,
(21:35):
big noise a crash sort of No, not like thunder,
more like like music, like a card out of Beethoven
or somebody. And all of a sudden he was gone.
But he'll be back, Like you said, No one is
really dead as long as he's remembered.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Sir.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Oh, oh, sir, may I speak with you?
Speaker 5 (22:05):
No?
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Oh, it's h paul Is sir er?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Could I have just a moment of your time?
Speaker 4 (22:11):
I have all the time in the world. I have
all the time there is that. I don't quite know
how much time there is, but I do know I
have all of it.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Eh.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Does that star look all right to you?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I I wouldn't know. I I don't quite know how
a star is supposed to look.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Please, sir may, oh, yes, yes, yes, of course you
want to talk to me about what about I.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I've been back to the earth. My wife kept calling me.
You said we owed some responsibility to the living, Yes, sir,
you did.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Mm.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
I wonder if I was right about that. These earth
trips can be very upsetting.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Mine was. My wife wanted to know, Am I happy?
Speaker 4 (22:57):
They're all so preoccupied with happiness nothing.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
I didn't know what to say to her. I couldn't
answer her. This woman I've been married to for half
my life. I couldn't talk to her. It was as
though we were living in two different worlds. Well, oh, oh, yes,
I see what you mean. Still, should I have been
able to answer her?
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Well? What could you have said?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Well that that happy is a word that doesn't mean
anything anymore. Happy is nothing without unhappy, the way pleasure
is nothing without pain, the way health is nothing without illness.
Euphoria is nothing without depression. Oh you know what I mean, sir.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
I do know.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
It's ridiculous to say I'm happy when I'm never unhappy.
What I am.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Is, what you are is what what.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
I am is free. Yes, I'm free. I'm Paul, and
I'm free, and I'm free to be Paul, no more,
no less than me me Paul, sir. Why couldn't I
be free like that before? Oh?
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah, I asked myself that same question all the time.
The only answer is that I miscalculated somewhere, and I
did give those people the power to think, to reason,
to figure out the sensible way to do things. Why
don't they use what I gave them?
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Why eat everything up to me?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Theirs?
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Isn't the only planet in the universe you know, I
do have other things to look after it. But the
way they call out to me, they want me to
do everything, it's not right. It really is not.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Right, No, sir, I'm sorry, sir.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Well, what's done is done. They'll just have to muddle
through the best way they can.
Speaker 8 (25:04):
Now.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
About your wife, Melby, is it?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Tell you what? Why don't you talk to Bruce about it?
Do you two seem to get along so well? Yes, yes,
talk to Bruce. Excuse me, will you? I really do
have to go. Take a look at that poor star, Bruce.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
He just wasn't any help at all.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Now you listen, Paul, suppose you would invented the greatest
machine imaginable, one that would do oh, practically anything you
can think of. How would you like it if somebody
came running to you every time a bolt got loose
and asked you to tighten it?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Bruce? Melb says, she's going to go on remembering me forever,
will be man and wife forever till she joins me here,
and then we'll still be man and wife.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Maybe once she gets here, she'll change your mind.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
When she's only forty two, she'll be remembering me for
years and years and calling for me, and I'll have
to put on that vapor stuff and haunt the apartment
and Bruce, it's so hard to carry on a conversation
with her now.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
It didn't used to be, but now you couldn't just ignore.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I love her, Bruce, do you well? I did for
a very long time, right up to the moment I died.
My last words were I love you Melbun at least
that's what I meant to say. I know I had
it in my mind to say that, but I'm not
positive I ever got around to saying it. Anyway, I
(26:39):
can't just just brush her off.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
I you do have a conscience, don't you.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Well, I hope. So.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
It's a very fine thing to have, of course, But
sometimes there's only one thing you can do. What get married.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Married to Melbourne?
Speaker 3 (26:59):
No, not the Melo, but you idiot, how could you
marry Melbourne? She's there in your ears? Some marriage that
would be?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Who whom would I marry?
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Heaven's the Betsy, Paul. The place is full of women.
Have you ever seen Helen?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Helen who Helen of.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Joy they call her. Actually I've never met her myself,
but from what they tell me, who.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Marriages are made in heaven. So it's been said. There
are those who consider this a profoundly true observation, while
others think it one of the silliest statements ever made.
I myself have no opinion, at least none that I
care to express here. But no one, so far as
I know, has ever claimed that people actually get married
(27:49):
in heaven. Melburgh was a wonderful wife to Paul, but
as his widow, she leaves something to be desired. Two things.
(28:10):
She won't stop desiring him, and she won't leave him alone.
In his desperation, Paul has gone to his kindred spirit
Bruce for help. The only advice Bruce could offer was
for Paul to marry again, not his earthly wife Melba,
but one of the heavenly creatures who, like Paul, expect
(28:30):
to live on forever, in whatever place it is they
live on forever in.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
You've definitely burned yourself out, little one. Mum, too bad, sir, Oh, sir, oh, Look, Paul,
this dear little star has burned itself out. Well. I
knew it wouldn't be long, Sir.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I did what you told me to. I talked to
Bruce about my problem and you know what he said.
He said, get married.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Married.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
He says, the only way to make Melbourne forget me
is for me to get married to someone else, someone
here where else. What do you think of the idea?
Speaker 4 (29:16):
Why do you keep asking me what I think? Can't
you ever think for yourself? Or I just thought, No, no,
you didn't. You came running to me like all the others.
I'm getting tired of it.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
If you could give me a little advice.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
I gave you a little advice. I said, talk to Bruce.
You talk to Bruce, and he told you what he
thought you should do. Now, either do it or don't
do it?
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Is it all right?
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Is what all right?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
To get married here?
Speaker 4 (29:46):
Paul? The essence of this place is perfect freedom to
do as you choose. It might work out, it might not.
But that's true of everything, Isn't it certainly true? Everything
I do?
Speaker 5 (30:01):
Do?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Many people get married here, but.
Speaker 5 (30:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
I do know. They don't come running to me to
ask is it all right?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Bruce mentioned someone called Helen, Helen of Troy.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Are you asking me to pick a wife for you? Now?
What else do you want me to do? Tie your shoelaces?
Help you with your arithmetic. Don't you people ever grow up?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I'm sorry, sir.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
I don't care about your being sorry, that's too easy.
I care about your achieving some measure of maturity, a
bit of independence, a little simple sense? Is that asking
too much? Tell me? Is that really asking too much?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Sir?
Speaker 4 (30:40):
Sometimes I feel like giving up on the whole human race.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
You're not gonna cry, are you, sir? Why not?
Speaker 4 (30:49):
Who has better reason to cry than I have?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Nobody?
Speaker 5 (30:52):
I guess.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
Eh, However, we must all carry on. Mustn't we never
give up? That's my mind? Oh, because if I gave out.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
It, don't say it, sir, Please don't say it.
Speaker 4 (31:05):
No, No, I won't say it. I wouldn't be so cruel,
no matter how provoked. Now, Paul, I really must go
to tend to that poor little star who believed me
needs my help more than you do, Irene.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
It's me, oh, just sitting around. Leonard asked me to
go to that news take place with him that I
said no. I didn't feel like it. That's why. Don't
be silly. I like Leonard. He's a very nice man.
But well, there's a beautiful moon out tonight. I thought
(31:52):
maybe I Haveven's sakes. What's that? But there was a
terrible planking noise just now it's care of me, just dead. Oh?
How could it be the radiator? The heat's not turned
on yet. Is there a storm coming up? Or something?
Was that that whistling sound? Can't you hear it? Like
(32:12):
a like a terrible wind? Maybe a hurricane? What do
you mean you don't hear anything? What there goes to
the moon? It must be a hurricane. Okay, I mean
the moonlight just stopped shining. How can it be shining
where you are and not here?
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Now it's shining here too. I really are you there?
Are you crying about something? I thought you were for
no reason. I just thought I heard well, I heard
somebody crying. The more than crying, really sobbing. Oh my goodness.
(32:58):
Something just ran through the room. Do I know what?
It disappeared into the kitchen. There's something here in the kitchen.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
It's laughing terrible.
Speaker 5 (33:11):
It couldn't be paula because it couldn't be. Paul doesn't
behave that way. He just comes to the window and says, here,
I am Melvi, dearI couldn't be Paul.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Here, I am Melbury, dear.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
He just said it here. I am Melbury, Dear Melbourne,
I am here, Hireen, I'm gonna hang up. I've gotta
find out if it's Paul, and if it is Paul,
I've got to know why he's behaving so peculiarly. No, No,
don't come over you you might scare him away. I mean,
after all, I'm used to these things, and you're not. Byrene, Hello, Melba, Paul,
(33:51):
is it you?
Speaker 3 (33:52):
No, it's not Paul. Don't be frightened.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
I'm Bruce, Bruce who I don't know, Bruce.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I'm Paul's new friend, his best friend, actually, But.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
Why are you here? Why isn't Paul here?
Speaker 3 (34:07):
He couldn't make it tonight?
Speaker 5 (34:08):
Why not? Nothing's happened to him, hasn't What could happen? Nothing?
I suppose everything's already happened precisely. Well, then why isn't
he here? I've thought about him and thought about him
every single day and every time I woke up during
the night. I've been over every moment of every day
of every year we had together.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
That's just him.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
An't just about to start over at the beginning.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
Why not? He's not really dead as long as I
remember him.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
He's not really alive either, is he?
Speaker 5 (34:43):
Well? No, but Melburh, you're.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Wearing him out with all this remembering, wearing him back
and forth, back and forth. It's very tiring, Melburah.
Speaker 5 (34:54):
You mean he'd rather just stay where he is.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
I think.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
So nobody wants to be dead and forgotten. I certainly
don't want to be.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Wait, you'll find.
Speaker 5 (35:05):
Out nobody wants to be dead and forgotten.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
That's because they haven't tried it yet.
Speaker 5 (35:11):
You mean to tell me that Paul wants to be
forgotten by me?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
If you think you could manage it?
Speaker 5 (35:19):
Forget twenty two beautiful years? Oh I couldn't. I couldn't possibly.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
What about having twenty two more beautiful years with somebody else?
Speaker 4 (35:33):
Like? Who?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Well?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
I've heard nice things about a certain Leonard Whipple.
Speaker 5 (35:39):
Leonard Whipple.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
I've heard he's very devoted to you.
Speaker 5 (35:43):
But Leonard's not Paul. Leonard could never be Paul.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
But he could be Leonard, couldn't he if you'd let him.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
Paul is the only man for me, always was, always
will be.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
And that is that all?
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Melvi, Melvi?
Speaker 5 (35:59):
Why do you say all? Melbur Melburgh like that.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Because you forced me to tell you something. I really
have no right to tell you what?
Speaker 5 (36:08):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Hardly anybody knows about it? Just me and Paul, of course.
Speaker 5 (36:14):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (36:16):
I shouldn't repeat it. No, my lips are sealed. It's
too private.
Speaker 5 (36:22):
Does it concern Paul? Is it about Paul?
Speaker 3 (36:24):
You won't mention it to a living soul.
Speaker 5 (36:26):
I won't mention it to anybody. What is it?
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Paul? Paul is getting married again?
Speaker 5 (36:38):
Who is getting married again?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (36:44):
Who too?
Speaker 3 (36:46):
I think her name is Helen.
Speaker 5 (36:48):
Is she pretty?
Speaker 3 (36:49):
I've never met her, but I hear she's very pretty young,
I believe so.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
Who How good?
Speaker 5 (36:56):
How good?
Speaker 3 (36:58):
That's life, Melburh.
Speaker 5 (37:00):
Paul's not alive, but you are, Melbah. Yes, I am.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Make the most of it. That's my advice to you.
Speaker 5 (37:10):
Thank you, Bruce for telling me what you've told me.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
You're quite welcome.
Speaker 5 (37:18):
I don't suppose Paul would ever have told me himself.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Oh, eventually he would have.
Speaker 5 (37:23):
Maybe maybe not. Well, if you see him, tell him.
I hope he's very happy with his Helen.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
I'll nice to have met you, Melburah.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
It's very nice to have met you, too, Bruce. I
are you still sitting down or standing up? I can't
quite tell.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Does it really matter?
Speaker 5 (37:44):
I just like to I don't know, shake a hand
or something.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
Not necessary, not necessary at all.
Speaker 5 (37:52):
I could see you to the door.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
No, let's just part this way? A fond of you?
Speaker 4 (37:58):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Elba?
Speaker 5 (38:01):
A fun? Oh? He's gone, just disappeared?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Whoa?
Speaker 5 (38:12):
That's the way with ghosts. Who needs ghosts anyway? Though
they're comings and goings and the way they talk, who
can understand them? Hello, Irene, Irene, you are absolutely not
(38:33):
going to believe what I'm about to tell you. You simply
will not believe it.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Bruce, Bruce, where have you been? I've been looking all
over for you. Even Salomon didn't know where you were.
Where were you?
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I went to see your wife, Melba? What for to
tell her you were getting married?
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Bruce? You had no right to do that.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Here we do as we choose. He told you that?
Speaker 2 (39:03):
How did she take it? Shocked?
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Hurt?
Speaker 2 (39:06):
What you'd expect it told me you were going to
tell her.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
I knew you wouldn't let me.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I wouldn't have for one very good reason. It's not true. Well,
it's not true that I'm getting married. You changed your mind,
not exactly, I asked Helen. Yes, she said absolutely not.
She says she's not the marrying type.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
But you didn't stop right there, did you. There are others,
I asked Catherine.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I can't pronounce her last name. She used to be
an empress in Russia. She laughed fit to kill, and
so did Amy and Louise and Marie. Even salom May
laughed at me.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Are you upset well?
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Nobody likes to be laughed at. Yes, I'm upset, But
on the other hand, I'm relieved too, Bruce, I really
don't want to get married.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
I never thought you did.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Everything's so nice here, so free and sort of uninhibit,
so peaceful.
Speaker 5 (40:07):
Leonard, it's Melba. You don't mind my calling you at
your office, do you? That's good? How was the new
steak place you didn't go on account of me? You
didn't go well, I must say, Leonard. Oh, I spent
(40:27):
the evening doing various things, things that really needed to
be done, like I got all Paul's closed together and
packed them in boxes. Tomorrow I'll send them to some
deserving charity. Listen, Leonard, I was thinking, as long as
you didn't go to that steak place. Why don't you
(40:47):
come over here tonight and I'll cook you the best
steak you ever tasted and hash brown potatoes. Would you
like that?
Speaker 7 (40:55):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (40:56):
Good, We come early and we'll have a martini first.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Well, good for Melbourne, good for Leonard, and good for
Goose and for Paul too.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Good for everybody who.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
Faces up to a problem and solves it the best
way possible. The solution may not be a perfect one.
Solutions seldom are, but at the very least they are
an attempt to use the sense we were born with.
And that's all God asks of any of us.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I'll be back shortly.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
You do realize, don't you, that the story I've just
brought you was all pure fantasy. I don't know any
more than you do what happens to us once we
have resigned this terrestrial life, And you know as little
as I do, unless, of course, you are a ghost. Oh,
if you are, I wish you'd get in touch with me.
(42:02):
I have gobs and gobs of things I'm dying to
ask you, like, Well, for one thing, are you happy?
Our cast included Linka Peterson, Elliott Reid, Robert Dryden, and
Gordon Gould The entire production was under the direction of
Hyman Brown,
Come in welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I'm e G.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Marshall.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Sit down any way you like. I have a small
confession to make. I am crazy about ghosts, and I cannot,
for the life of me comprehend why anyone should be
afraid of them?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
What?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
After all, what do ghosts do?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
They haunt? That's all. To haunt means to visit, to
frequent in short, to hang around. What's so scary about that?
A hopeful lover hangs around a lot. If an inspiring
lover or a wistful compatriot can hang around without inspiring fear,
not an anxious ghost?
Speaker 5 (01:02):
Is it? Is it really you?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yes, Melba? It is I? Who don't cry? Melba?
Speaker 5 (01:16):
I can't.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I can't help it, all right, dearest, go ahead and cry.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Paul Pauh tell me something? What are you happy? Where
where you are?
Speaker 6 (01:41):
I'm really sorry you asked me that, Melba.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Our mystery drama ghost Talk was written especially for the
Mystery Theater by l Speth, Eric and Stars. It's LINKA
Peterson and Elliott Red. Yes, ghosts haunt places. Traditionally they
(02:18):
haunt large decrepit mansions with long halls, extensive staircases, and
musty attics. But these big old edifices have all disappeared
from our landscape, and it is more than likely that
the ghost of today has to restrict himself to one
bedroom apartments with bath, kitchenette and dining area.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Poor ghosts.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Will he give up haunting altogether?
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Or will he do what we've done?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I just Melba, You'll have my number, yes, Leonard, both
at home and at the office.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
If there's anything I can do, Melba, anything.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
At all, I'll call you.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Bless you, my dear.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Yeah, oh Paul, where are you?
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Where?
Speaker 7 (03:09):
Oh, Irene, it's me.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
They've all gone. Leonard Whipple was the last to lead.
I'm all alone. No, I'm not crying. I'm trying to
be brave and calm and remember everything you told me.
Leonard said to call him if I needed anything. But
what does that mean?
Speaker 7 (03:46):
I need my husband, I need Paul.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Ah. No, Irene, I couldn't go to the movies. No,
I'll just sit here and think about Paul, all the
beautiful memories. Twenty two years of beautiful memories, you know, Irene.
I keep thinking all the time of what you said
(04:13):
to me after the funeral. You said, Paul will never
be really dead as long as he's remembered. I keep
saying that over and over. Paul isn't really dead as
long as he's remembered. I want to thank you, Irene
for that beautiful thought. It means everything to me.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Oh, Melba, Melba, how goes it?
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Paul?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Hello, it's Bruce, isn't it. I'm you here. I haven't
got everybody straight yet.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
You never will. It doesn't matter. Yes, I am Bruce.
Mind if I join you?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I wish you would.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
You had a particularly beatific expression on your face just now.
As I was floating by.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I was thinking of my wife, My wife, Melba. Why why? Well,
actually because she was thinking of me, remembering our wedding day.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
I was touched.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
You're really very new here, aren't you.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Yes, very At the start, everybody is either touched that
they're remembered, apprehensive that they won't be, or furious that
they're not.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Melburgh feels that no one is really dead as long
as he's remembered.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Is that what you want to be? Not really dead?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It sounds nice, Well it isn't.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I don't know how you can say that, because I
happen to know from bitter personal experience. My sainted mother
remembered me every day of her life after I died,
till the day she died and joined me here. Since
her arrival, I'm happy to say we've exchanged precisely six words.
While back she had the grace to apologize. I'm sorry, son,
I didn't understand those were the six words.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Sorry for what for remembering me? What was she supposed
to do?
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Well?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Forget?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
For goodness sakes. I wouldn't expect her to forget immediately,
of course that would be unreasonable, But as soon as
possible put me out of her mind. My life on
earth was over.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I'm sure she meant, well your mother.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
After you hear a while, you'll realize that everybody doesn't
mean well and quite often does a lot of harm.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
But your mother loved you.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
Then?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Why not leave me alone to enjoy myself? Why wake
up in the middle of the night to remember how
handsome I look the day I graduated from dental college?
So inconsiderate?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Why was it inconsiderable?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Because, my dear fellow, if she kept it up long enough,
I'd have to stop whatever I was doing and go
visit her, visit her?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
How could you do that? How well?
Speaker 3 (06:53):
The way it's always done as a ghost.
Speaker 5 (06:56):
Of course, Irene, it's me. Oh all right, I guess
Leonyard was here. We sent out for Chinese food. He
left about an hour ago. Oh, I'm just sitting here
(07:19):
and remembering. I got out the old picture album to
show Leonyard. I don't think Leonard cares too much for travel.
I wasn't sorry when he left. Looking at the snapshots
and remembering the beautiful life I had with Paul, it
seemed to bring him closer. Oh, I mean it, Irene.
(07:40):
A couple of times I felt as though he was
right here in the room with me.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Honestly, Bruce, Oh Bruce, that's you.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Paul.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I had a terrible time finding you.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Well, now you have.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
I asked everybody where you were, and nobody knew. And
then Salomy said, oh, he's probably out strolling among the stars.
That's his favorite pastime. But I had no idea how
many stars there are?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
You still haven't any idea, actually, neither of I and
I've been here heaven knows how long. So far? This
is my favorite galaxy, but of course I haven't seen
them all.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Has anyone do you think?
Speaker 5 (08:20):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I suppose he has.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
He must have seen everything since the beginning of time.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And before that. Yes, what made you come looking for me?
Something special?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Bruce? I can't get a moment to myself on account
of Melbourne, your wife. You know what she did. She
got out an old snapshot album and started looking over
all the pictures we took on our vacations, birthdays, Christmases ago.
They all do it. The worst part is she showed
all these pictures to a friend of mine, of hers ours,
Leonard Whipple. He couldn't have cared less.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
She's really hanging on to you, isn't.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
She's very nice of her and all that, but it's
terribly exciting for me being here. Everything's so completely different. Oh,
there she goes again. Here hear that vaguely. She just
(09:18):
keeps after me and keeps after What about this Leonard Whipple.
Well he's a very nice guy, but he's not gonna
hang around much longer if she makes him look at
pictures of our honeymoon and the Grand Canyon.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
You couldn't just ignore her, I suppose.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Well, she's my wife and I love her. I mean,
she was my wife and I did love her, but
now things are different.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
I'd say so. Well, for goodness, sake.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Look there.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
If it isn't him him, you mean it really him?
I haven't seen him and eons I never.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Have, sir, Sir, Please no, yes, am I right, yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
And this is Paul. He's new I.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Know an alcohol.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I'm really thrilled to meet you, sir.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
The galaxy is looking well, doesn't you.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I love this galaxy, Sir. You set it out so neatly.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
There's one start I've being concerned about. I think it's
beginning to twinkle out.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Sir, as long as we were so fortunate just to
run into you like this. Could we have your advice
about something?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You know?
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I dislike giving advice.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
It's for me, sir. I don't know what to do
about my wife.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
Is she here?
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, she's with a living on earth.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Oh and she's grieving. Well that's to be expected. She'll
stop after a while.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
She doesn't show any signs of stopping. I was wondering
if I shouldn't, you know, appear to her. Bruce says,
it's a simple procedure.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Well you could do that, of course. We never thought
very highly of that ghost business. So theatrical.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
But if it'll make her feel better.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
I suppose we do all a measure of responsibility to
the living.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
You think I could go back for a short visit.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
You're free to do as you like. If I were
to tell you what to do, you wouldn't be free anymore,
would you.
Speaker 8 (11:21):
Well, if you just tell me what you think, No,
I really can't do that. That would be tantamount of
telling you what to do because of me being who
I am.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
You see, you think I have all the answers everybody
thinks so, well, I don't. There are countless things I
haven't found answers to. However, I, like everyone else, I
keep trying. And now I really have to go to
see if that poor star is feeling any pain. You'll
both excuse me.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
He wasn't much help.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Well that's his way, do you.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
There she goes again, Bruce, I'm going to turn ghost
and visit her.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
At least you've made a decision.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
How do I go about it?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Well, there are no hard and fast rules. Actually, not
many of us do it. It's considered kind of freaky freaky.
Look how many of us there are, and how few
of them. If we altered the ghost walking, we'd have
them outnumbered trillions to one.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I don't care. I want to do it. I just
need to know how well.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
You can do it in the old fashioned way, clanking chains, winds,
whistling through the trees, moon behind black clouds and all that.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I don't think Melbourne would go for that.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Oh then there's the crying, sobbing type of ghost, inconsolable weeping.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Since I don't feel particularly inconsolable.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Then there's the ghost that flits through the halls, appearing
and disappearing. Now you see it, now you don't.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
We don't have a haul, just a rather small foyer.
Can't I just appear in some simple, straightforward way, just
say here, I am dear.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
You wouldn't want to start with one weird uncanny shriek
I wouldn't know how, or a sardonic laugh or what.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Would I be laughing at?
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Oh? Life, death, anything in between. Well, if you don't
want to do any of those things, things which he
calls theatrical, then just appear.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
That's more my style, I think.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
But wrap a bit of vapor around you, after all,
they need something to identify you by, and don't stay
too long, and above all, don't let it depress you.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Why should it depress me?
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Hm. You'll find out, my friend, You'll find out.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
It never occurred to me that a visitation by a
ghost could be depressing. Take now that well known ghost
of Hamlet's father, speaking spookily from the battlement at l Or.
Of course, he didn't sound happy. How could he when
his own brother had just killed him and promptly married
his widow. He sounded angry yes, vengeful yes, but depressed no,
(14:14):
and certainly not depressing. I'll return shortly with that two.
Our moribund hero Paul has decided to return to Earth
as a ghost and haunt the three room apartment where
(14:37):
he once lived with his wife Melba. He has simply
draped what remains of him in a shred of celestial vapor,
and now, as he gazes through the living room window
of what used to be his own tenth floor apartment,
he can scarcely be distinguished from the melting moonlight that
floods the room inside. Nothing's changed, she hasn't changed thing.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
Let's take our coffee into the living room.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Leonard good idea.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I think I picked the wrong time.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
Bring in that plate of cookies, will you right?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Not those same old oatmeal things.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
I've always been crazy about oatmeal cookies.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
They were Paul's favorites. Set them down there. Cream in
your coffee, sugar.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Uh black please, no sugar.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
That's the way Paul took his is after dinner, coffee
in the morning, cream and sugar, yes, but after dinner nothing.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Is that so?
Speaker 5 (15:34):
And milk in his tea.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
You don't say that's the English.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
Way, you know, milk and tea.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
I didn't know Paul was English.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
He wasn't. Oh I see, oh, way back five six generations.
He was English.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
But I myself was born in Wales.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Is that so?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (15:55):
Well, that's near England.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Richard Burton is Elch, you know.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
For goodness sakes, why didn't you know that the.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
Last movie Paul and I saw together had Richard Burton
in it. I wanted to show you something fascinating, Paul's
World War Two uniform. I've saved it all these years. No,
I don't not tonight and his Captain's bars some other time.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I've really got to be moving on.
Speaker 5 (16:22):
If you really have to.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Such a beautiful night, I think I'll walk home.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
Yes, a beautiful night. Oh just look at the moonlight
streaming through that window.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Cared to walk Aways with me in the moonlight.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Oh no, I don't think so, Leonard. I have a
lot of things to do here.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
It well, if there's anything you need, you have my number, yes,
at home and at the office.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Good night, Melbae. Thanks for dinner.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Thank you for bringing all that Friday chicken.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
It was nothing really, good night, good night Leonard.
Speaker 9 (17:07):
Oh Paul, Dear Paul, I need you, Paul Melbourne, I
need you.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
So I'm right here. What was that I said? I'm here, Paul, Yes, me, Paul,
But who are by the window?
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Dear? I can't see you.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I'll step inside. That'll be better.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
I see I see something.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
You see me? I dare say I've changed somewhat?
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Paul. Can that beat you?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It is? I really beat you, well fairly really, everything
considered as real as I can get. I can't believe it,
believe it, Melburah.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
Oh, Paul, how are you never mind about me?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Are you? Oh?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I'm all right? Really all right, everything considered, everything considered.
I'm better than.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
All right, pouh. Tell me?
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Are you happy?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Happy?
Speaker 5 (18:28):
I must know? Are you happy?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
I'm sorry you asked me that question?
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Why should you be sorry?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Happy just isn't a word we use? Why not because
it it doesn't mean much once you've died.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Oh, Paul, you're not saying you're unhappy.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
No, I'm not saying that.
Speaker 5 (18:51):
Then what are you saying?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Look, Melburagh, I didn't really come here to talk about me.
What about you?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Well, naturally I'm not happy.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Why not without you? What about Leonard Whipple him? What's
the matter with Leonard?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
When nothing's the matter with him? He's just not you.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Well I'm not me either, not the way I was
before I all, but.
Speaker 5 (19:19):
I remember you the way you were, And as long
as I remember.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Melba, honey, I don't even remember me the way I was.
You don't not very well.
Speaker 5 (19:32):
You remember me, don't you?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Sort of sort of? Well, you were my wife.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
I'm still your wife, not exactly. There will never be
anyone for me, but you never. I swear it.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Please.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
We are man and wife forever for eternity. And now
that I know you can return to me. Not in
the flesh perhaps, but even like this. It's strange, it's weird,
but it's enough for me. I can live on as
you're wife, and on and on till I join you.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Melbourne. You don't know what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (20:05):
Oh, I knew you could never really die as long
as I remembered you. And you see here you are
living on Hello irene, me guess what you'll never guess.
(20:29):
Paul was here, yes, yes, yes, right here in this
living room, all right, and his ghost whatever, well he
looked different, yes, sort of steeney, kind of like a
street light on a foggy night. But I knew it
was Paul, all right. His voice and the things he said,
(20:51):
and the way he called me Melba dear, well, he
didn't say too much. I asked him was he happy,
because naturally I wanted to know, but he wouldn't say.
He wouldn't say he wasn't unhappy either. Isn't that weird?
He wanted to know about me, Am I happy? Isn't
that sweet? And he asked about Leonard Whipple, imagine him
(21:15):
knowing I've been seeing Leonard off and on. Of course,
I told him Leonard doesn't mean a thing to me,
that there could never be anyone else for me. I said, Paul,
we are man and wife for eternity. I said, you
can never truly die, Paul, as long as I remember you.
And then you know what, there was this big, great,
(21:35):
big noise a crash sort of No, not like thunder,
more like like music, like a card out of Beethoven
or somebody. And all of a sudden he was gone.
But he'll be back, Like you said, No one is
really dead as long as he's remembered.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Sir.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Oh, oh, sir, may I speak with you?
Speaker 5 (22:05):
No?
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Oh, it's h paul Is sir er?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Could I have just a moment of your time?
Speaker 4 (22:11):
I have all the time in the world. I have
all the time there is that. I don't quite know
how much time there is, but I do know I
have all of it.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Eh.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Does that star look all right to you?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I I wouldn't know. I I don't quite know how
a star is supposed to look.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Please, sir may, oh, yes, yes, yes, of course you
want to talk to me about what about I.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I've been back to the earth. My wife kept calling me.
You said we owed some responsibility to the living, Yes, sir,
you did.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Mm.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
I wonder if I was right about that. These earth
trips can be very upsetting.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Mine was. My wife wanted to know, Am I happy?
Speaker 4 (22:57):
They're all so preoccupied with happiness nothing.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
I didn't know what to say to her. I couldn't
answer her. This woman I've been married to for half
my life. I couldn't talk to her. It was as
though we were living in two different worlds. Well, oh, oh, yes,
I see what you mean. Still, should I have been
able to answer her?
Speaker 4 (23:21):
Well? What could you have said?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Well that that happy is a word that doesn't mean
anything anymore. Happy is nothing without unhappy, the way pleasure
is nothing without pain, the way health is nothing without illness.
Euphoria is nothing without depression. Oh you know what I mean, sir.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
I do know.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
It's ridiculous to say I'm happy when I'm never unhappy.
What I am.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Is, what you are is what what.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
I am is free. Yes, I'm free. I'm Paul, and
I'm free, and I'm free to be Paul, no more,
no less than me me Paul, sir. Why couldn't I
be free like that before? Oh?
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah, I asked myself that same question all the time.
The only answer is that I miscalculated somewhere, and I
did give those people the power to think, to reason,
to figure out the sensible way to do things. Why
don't they use what I gave them?
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Why eat everything up to me?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Theirs?
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Isn't the only planet in the universe you know, I
do have other things to look after it. But the
way they call out to me, they want me to
do everything, it's not right. It really is not.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Right, No, sir, I'm sorry, sir.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Well, what's done is done. They'll just have to muddle
through the best way they can.
Speaker 8 (25:04):
Now.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
About your wife, Melby, is it?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Tell you what? Why don't you talk to Bruce about it?
Do you two seem to get along so well? Yes, yes,
talk to Bruce. Excuse me, will you? I really do
have to go. Take a look at that poor star, Bruce.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
He just wasn't any help at all.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Now you listen, Paul, suppose you would invented the greatest
machine imaginable, one that would do oh, practically anything you
can think of. How would you like it if somebody
came running to you every time a bolt got loose
and asked you to tighten it?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Bruce? Melb says, she's going to go on remembering me forever,
will be man and wife forever till she joins me here,
and then we'll still be man and wife.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Maybe once she gets here, she'll change your mind.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
When she's only forty two, she'll be remembering me for
years and years and calling for me, and I'll have
to put on that vapor stuff and haunt the apartment
and Bruce, it's so hard to carry on a conversation
with her now.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
It didn't used to be, but now you couldn't just ignore.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I love her, Bruce, do you well? I did for
a very long time, right up to the moment I died.
My last words were I love you Melbun at least
that's what I meant to say. I know I had
it in my mind to say that, but I'm not
positive I ever got around to saying it. Anyway, I
(26:39):
can't just just brush her off.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
I you do have a conscience, don't you.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Well, I hope. So.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
It's a very fine thing to have, of course, But
sometimes there's only one thing you can do. What get married.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Married to Melbourne?
Speaker 3 (26:59):
No, not the Melo, but you idiot, how could you
marry Melbourne? She's there in your ears? Some marriage that
would be?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Who whom would I marry?
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Heaven's the Betsy, Paul. The place is full of women.
Have you ever seen Helen?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Helen who Helen of.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Joy they call her. Actually I've never met her myself,
but from what they tell me, who.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Marriages are made in heaven. So it's been said. There
are those who consider this a profoundly true observation, while
others think it one of the silliest statements ever made.
I myself have no opinion, at least none that I
care to express here. But no one, so far as
I know, has ever claimed that people actually get married
(27:49):
in heaven. Melburgh was a wonderful wife to Paul, but
as his widow, she leaves something to be desired. Two things.
(28:10):
She won't stop desiring him, and she won't leave him alone.
In his desperation, Paul has gone to his kindred spirit
Bruce for help. The only advice Bruce could offer was
for Paul to marry again, not his earthly wife Melba,
but one of the heavenly creatures who, like Paul, expect
(28:30):
to live on forever, in whatever place it is they
live on forever in.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
You've definitely burned yourself out, little one. Mum, too bad, sir, Oh, sir, oh, Look, Paul,
this dear little star has burned itself out. Well. I
knew it wouldn't be long, Sir.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I did what you told me to. I talked to
Bruce about my problem and you know what he said.
He said, get married.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Married.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
He says, the only way to make Melbourne forget me
is for me to get married to someone else, someone
here where else. What do you think of the idea?
Speaker 4 (29:16):
Why do you keep asking me what I think? Can't
you ever think for yourself? Or I just thought, No, no,
you didn't. You came running to me like all the others.
I'm getting tired of it.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
If you could give me a little advice.
Speaker 4 (29:29):
I gave you a little advice. I said, talk to Bruce.
You talk to Bruce, and he told you what he
thought you should do. Now, either do it or don't
do it?
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Is it all right?
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Is what all right?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
To get married here?
Speaker 4 (29:46):
Paul? The essence of this place is perfect freedom to
do as you choose. It might work out, it might not.
But that's true of everything, Isn't it certainly true? Everything
I do?
Speaker 5 (30:01):
Do?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Many people get married here, but.
Speaker 5 (30:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (30:06):
I do know. They don't come running to me to
ask is it all right?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Bruce mentioned someone called Helen, Helen of Troy.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Are you asking me to pick a wife for you? Now?
What else do you want me to do? Tie your shoelaces?
Help you with your arithmetic. Don't you people ever grow up?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I'm sorry, sir.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
I don't care about your being sorry, that's too easy.
I care about your achieving some measure of maturity, a
bit of independence, a little simple sense? Is that asking
too much? Tell me? Is that really asking too much?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Sir?
Speaker 4 (30:40):
Sometimes I feel like giving up on the whole human race.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
You're not gonna cry, are you, sir? Why not?
Speaker 4 (30:49):
Who has better reason to cry than I have?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Nobody?
Speaker 5 (30:52):
I guess.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
Eh, However, we must all carry on. Mustn't we never
give up? That's my mind? Oh, because if I gave out.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
It, don't say it, sir, Please don't say it.
Speaker 4 (31:05):
No, No, I won't say it. I wouldn't be so cruel,
no matter how provoked. Now, Paul, I really must go
to tend to that poor little star who believed me
needs my help more than you do, Irene.
Speaker 5 (31:29):
It's me, oh, just sitting around. Leonard asked me to
go to that news take place with him that I
said no. I didn't feel like it. That's why. Don't
be silly. I like Leonard. He's a very nice man.
But well, there's a beautiful moon out tonight. I thought
(31:52):
maybe I Haveven's sakes. What's that? But there was a
terrible planking noise just now it's care of me, just dead. Oh?
How could it be the radiator? The heat's not turned
on yet. Is there a storm coming up? Or something?
Was that that whistling sound? Can't you hear it? Like
(32:12):
a like a terrible wind? Maybe a hurricane? What do
you mean you don't hear anything? What there goes to
the moon? It must be a hurricane. Okay, I mean
the moonlight just stopped shining. How can it be shining
where you are and not here?
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Now it's shining here too. I really are you there?
Are you crying about something? I thought you were for
no reason. I just thought I heard well, I heard
somebody crying. The more than crying, really sobbing. Oh my goodness.
(32:58):
Something just ran through the room. Do I know what?
It disappeared into the kitchen. There's something here in the kitchen.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
It's laughing terrible.
Speaker 5 (33:11):
It couldn't be paula because it couldn't be. Paul doesn't
behave that way. He just comes to the window and says, here,
I am Melvi, dearI couldn't be Paul.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Here, I am Melbury, dear.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
He just said it here. I am Melbury, Dear Melbourne,
I am here, Hireen, I'm gonna hang up. I've gotta
find out if it's Paul, and if it is Paul,
I've got to know why he's behaving so peculiarly. No, No,
don't come over you you might scare him away. I mean,
after all, I'm used to these things, and you're not. Byrene, Hello, Melba, Paul,
(33:51):
is it you?
Speaker 3 (33:52):
No, it's not Paul. Don't be frightened.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
I'm Bruce, Bruce who I don't know, Bruce.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I'm Paul's new friend, his best friend, actually, But.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
Why are you here? Why isn't Paul here?
Speaker 3 (34:07):
He couldn't make it tonight?
Speaker 5 (34:08):
Why not? Nothing's happened to him, hasn't What could happen? Nothing?
I suppose everything's already happened precisely. Well, then why isn't
he here? I've thought about him and thought about him
every single day and every time I woke up during
the night. I've been over every moment of every day
of every year we had together.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
That's just him.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
An't just about to start over at the beginning.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
Why not? He's not really dead as long as I
remember him.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
He's not really alive either, is he?
Speaker 5 (34:43):
Well? No, but Melburh, you're.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Wearing him out with all this remembering, wearing him back
and forth, back and forth. It's very tiring, Melburah.
Speaker 5 (34:54):
You mean he'd rather just stay where he is.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
I think.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
So nobody wants to be dead and forgotten. I certainly
don't want to be.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Wait, you'll find.
Speaker 5 (35:05):
Out nobody wants to be dead and forgotten.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
That's because they haven't tried it yet.
Speaker 5 (35:11):
You mean to tell me that Paul wants to be
forgotten by me?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
If you think you could manage it?
Speaker 5 (35:19):
Forget twenty two beautiful years? Oh I couldn't. I couldn't possibly.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
What about having twenty two more beautiful years with somebody else?
Speaker 4 (35:33):
Like? Who?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Well?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
I've heard nice things about a certain Leonard Whipple.
Speaker 5 (35:39):
Leonard Whipple.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
I've heard he's very devoted to you.
Speaker 5 (35:43):
But Leonard's not Paul. Leonard could never be Paul.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
But he could be Leonard, couldn't he if you'd let him.
Speaker 5 (35:51):
Paul is the only man for me, always was, always
will be.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
And that is that all?
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Melvi, Melvi?
Speaker 5 (35:59):
Why do you say all? Melbur Melburgh like that.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Because you forced me to tell you something. I really
have no right to tell you what?
Speaker 5 (36:08):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (36:09):
Hardly anybody knows about it? Just me and Paul, of course.
Speaker 5 (36:14):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (36:16):
I shouldn't repeat it. No, my lips are sealed. It's
too private.
Speaker 5 (36:22):
Does it concern Paul? Is it about Paul?
Speaker 3 (36:24):
You won't mention it to a living soul.
Speaker 5 (36:26):
I won't mention it to anybody. What is it?
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Paul? Paul is getting married again?
Speaker 5 (36:38):
Who is getting married again?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (36:44):
Who too?
Speaker 3 (36:46):
I think her name is Helen.
Speaker 5 (36:48):
Is she pretty?
Speaker 3 (36:49):
I've never met her, but I hear she's very pretty young,
I believe so.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
Who How good?
Speaker 5 (36:56):
How good?
Speaker 3 (36:58):
That's life, Melburh.
Speaker 5 (37:00):
Paul's not alive, but you are, Melbah. Yes, I am.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Make the most of it. That's my advice to you.
Speaker 5 (37:10):
Thank you, Bruce for telling me what you've told me.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
You're quite welcome.
Speaker 5 (37:18):
I don't suppose Paul would ever have told me himself.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Oh, eventually he would have.
Speaker 5 (37:23):
Maybe maybe not. Well, if you see him, tell him.
I hope he's very happy with his Helen.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
I'll nice to have met you, Melburah.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
It's very nice to have met you, too, Bruce. I
are you still sitting down or standing up? I can't
quite tell.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Does it really matter?
Speaker 5 (37:44):
I just like to I don't know, shake a hand
or something.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
Not necessary, not necessary at all.
Speaker 5 (37:52):
I could see you to the door.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
No, let's just part this way? A fond of you?
Speaker 4 (37:58):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Elba?
Speaker 5 (38:01):
A fun? Oh? He's gone, just disappeared?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Whoa?
Speaker 5 (38:12):
That's the way with ghosts. Who needs ghosts anyway? Though
they're comings and goings and the way they talk, who
can understand them? Hello, Irene, Irene, you are absolutely not
(38:33):
going to believe what I'm about to tell you. You simply
will not believe it.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Bruce, Bruce, where have you been? I've been looking all
over for you. Even Salomon didn't know where you were.
Where were you?
Speaker 3 (38:51):
I went to see your wife, Melba? What for to
tell her you were getting married?
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Bruce? You had no right to do that.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Here we do as we choose. He told you that?
Speaker 2 (39:03):
How did she take it? Shocked?
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Hurt?
Speaker 2 (39:06):
What you'd expect it told me you were going to
tell her.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
I knew you wouldn't let me.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I wouldn't have for one very good reason. It's not true. Well,
it's not true that I'm getting married. You changed your mind,
not exactly, I asked Helen. Yes, she said absolutely not.
She says she's not the marrying type.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
But you didn't stop right there, did you. There are others,
I asked Catherine.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I can't pronounce her last name. She used to be
an empress in Russia. She laughed fit to kill, and
so did Amy and Louise and Marie. Even salom May
laughed at me.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Are you upset well?
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Nobody likes to be laughed at. Yes, I'm upset, But
on the other hand, I'm relieved too, Bruce, I really
don't want to get married.
Speaker 3 (39:53):
I never thought you did.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Everything's so nice here, so free and sort of uninhibit,
so peaceful.
Speaker 5 (40:07):
Leonard, it's Melba. You don't mind my calling you at
your office, do you? That's good? How was the new
steak place you didn't go on account of me? You
didn't go well, I must say, Leonard. Oh, I spent
(40:27):
the evening doing various things, things that really needed to
be done, like I got all Paul's closed together and
packed them in boxes. Tomorrow I'll send them to some
deserving charity. Listen, Leonard, I was thinking, as long as
you didn't go to that steak place. Why don't you
(40:47):
come over here tonight and I'll cook you the best
steak you ever tasted and hash brown potatoes. Would you
like that?
Speaker 7 (40:55):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (40:56):
Good, We come early and we'll have a martini first.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Well, good for Melbourne, good for Leonard, and good for
Goose and for Paul too.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Good for everybody who.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
Faces up to a problem and solves it the best
way possible. The solution may not be a perfect one.
Solutions seldom are, but at the very least they are
an attempt to use the sense we were born with.
And that's all God asks of any of us.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I'll be back shortly.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
You do realize, don't you, that the story I've just
brought you was all pure fantasy. I don't know any
more than you do what happens to us once we
have resigned this terrestrial life, And you know as little
as I do, unless, of course, you are a ghost. Oh,
if you are, I wish you'd get in touch with me.
(42:02):
I have gobs and gobs of things I'm dying to
ask you, like, Well, for one thing, are you happy?
Our cast included Linka Peterson, Elliott Reid, Robert Dryden, and
Gordon Gould The entire production was under the direction of
Hyman Brown,
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