What To Do in a Crisis with Roshini Rajkumar

Roshini Rajkumar is a former TV-Broadcaster, Licensed Attorney, and Specialized Crisis Coach. There is crisis preparedness, crisis prevention, crisis management, and crisis mismanagement. With her sage advice, we learn what to do when adversity hits personally or professionally, and you will take away some great tools that can save you from a sinking ship, and pull you back up to smooth sailing. She tells us how to communicate with positivity not panic with Crisis Diversion 101.

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
Hi, I'm Mindy Sterns and Glensand this Is Happens. Join us as
we engage in candid conversations with someof the most successful people in every field
and from every walk of life,all with the common thread of grit and
a goal of not just surviving,but thriving. And we hope that the

(00:23):
show will help you feel informed,energized, and especially inspired. So let's
get started. This is It Happens, and welcome back. We are second.
It's exciting to be back in thestudio. Sure is sure is?
How you been? Hi? Hi? How are you in a while?

(00:46):
I know, nice to see you. I know I've been I've been out
of town, even with some grit. But life is life is good.
We're here and we are so excitedyou. Recently, we're in an incredible
leadership conference the Trust Edge in MinnieBliss and saw a really incredible lineup of
speech that was awesome. Right,I love that, And so one of

(01:06):
them is joining us today and waitto dig in and oh, yeah,
I'm sorry, doctor Stearns, We'reone of the speakers. That's not Oh
I was too, wasn't I Iforgot about that? Yes, have your
own credentials and so you know,these conferences are so fabulous because you just
go, you get recharged. It'slike someone plugs in a battery and just

(01:27):
like, okay, life on high. Then you're you know, it's just
great information. And there's so manyamazing people that have so much that go
right down the main vein of whatwe are talking about, right, and
you look at life, work,everything that goes on, and there's always
things that get in the way.Right, it's never perfect, and hence

(01:51):
grid happens, right and so anyway, so our our guest, I have
a kins to her. She's aformer news anchor and left that behind,
became a lawyer. She's a businessowner, a CEO, a leader,
a coach and really kind of herprimary lane is in crisis management. And

(02:13):
I think there is so much hereto unpack with grit crisis management and what's
going on in the world today.So we'd like to bring up Roshini Raj
Kumar, Hi, Roshi, howare you? Oh, I'm great.
It's so wonderful to be with youboth. Thank you so much. Have

(02:34):
you with usn you guys managed atthe conference. It did a good audience
and a good vibe and a goodenergy. You know, there's so much
that you know in being an entrepreneurand going through building over and over again
companies. You know, there isso much to crisis management, right and

(02:57):
yeah again, Rashie, I knowthat's like right up here. I mean
you you speak about that, You'reyou're, you know, a life coach,
You're a CEO coach, and alot of it has to do it.
And your podcast is on crisis management. But if I were to just
expand right now, Rahini, we'reloving having you on right now because there's

(03:19):
a lot of crisis going on rightnow. There is inflation, there's a
recession, there's a war, there'san election coming up, there's our country
is in crisis. You just cameout of a pandemic. Like, there's
so many things we're dealing with rightnow. I mean, social media is
taking us all all over the place. And before we get to really tapping
into that, because that's what wewant to talk about, I want to

(03:42):
know a little bit about you,how you got here, and you're a
little story of grit, like whatwhat shaped you and got you to this
place right now to be in themiddle of so to speak, a massive
chaotic storm. Well, what Ilike to say is my past life and
everything I've done up until this momentor the last few years, really got
me to this crisis specialty. Mybackground was in television news. I was

(04:08):
a television news reporter and anchor,and I left that world nearly eighteen and
a half years ago to start mybusiness, and I loved that world.
I worked in different markets around thecountry. My last TV market was Detroit,
and there was a lot of gritin Detroit, that's for sure,
covered various topics, and prior tothat, had gone to law school planning

(04:29):
to become a trial attorney. Ididn't that I fell in love with TV
and that world while I was incollege, but I still wanted to go
to law school and I keep mylicense current and in my different television markets,
I did have the opportunity to reallyuse those skills in how I prepared
for stories when I did do anythingconnected to the law or courts. And

(04:53):
even in Tennessee when I was inthe national market, there was a death
penalty there. I covered a couplewall to wall cover of death sentences.
That's a whole different kind of coverage, and I was always able to use
that legal background in that coverage.So fast forward to early two thousand and
six, or I guess go backin time to early two thousand and six.
As I was winding down the TVnews career deciding to start my own

(05:16):
business, I really wanted to bringin the law, the media, the
grit, and the controversy of lifeand people. And so these last seventeen
and a half years in growing thebusiness has really evolved from speaking professionally as
Glenn and I did at the TrustSummit last week or a couple weeks ago,
and into bringing the legal background andreally working with corporate executives in their

(05:43):
personal brand management and strategy and howthey execute and how they deliver and how
they lead well in that work,crisis would always happen, you know,
there would be something we're trying toprevent, or maybe they find themselves in
crisis, or maybe a business posthas the opportunity to go viral for negative
reasons. So all of that iswhat really got me so interested in the

(06:08):
crisis piece of it. And acouple of years ago i launched, I
started preparing I should say this ideafor my show, The Crisis Files as
a TV pilot. We actually shotthat a couple of years ago, but
in the process of it being edited, I thought, I don't want to
hide this title. Let's do afirst iteration as a podcast. So the

(06:30):
Crisis Files podcast launched in August twentytwenty two. We drop every Monday morning,
so we drop weekly and I havethe opportunity to talk in these conversations,
which are only about fifteen to twentyminutes long, with leaders, thought
leaders, with victims who are nowadvocates, with all kinds of experts,
and the mission of the Crisis Filesis to prevent crisis in people's worlds,

(06:54):
and that's really evolved. I mean, what I first thought was kind of
a business show has turned into avery mainstream kind of a show because we
really are, as you've mentioned,we're in a state of perma crisis.
It used to be a company,you know, you get by maybe one
crisis in a year, you're kindof lucky. Now it's nearly every day.

(07:15):
They have to prevent crisis. Theyhave to worry about what their people
are doing, they have to worryabout a data breach. There are so
many different things that could lead tocrisis for either a company or an individual.
And I mean, I will tellyou it's really become my mission.
I don't mock it. I don'tlaugh at it, even though we have
to have humor as we are tryingto prevent crisis, and we do have

(07:38):
humor in our lives and on theshow for sure, But I will say
it has really become my mission,and this past life for me from television
news has really lent itself to mycurrent life as I'm coaching leaders and then
also talking about crisis because I anticipatealmost the worst case scenario all the time.

(08:00):
It's not always the best place tolive, but then you can if
you're anticipating the worst, planning forthe worst, then usually the things that
happen are always better than what youwere a visions like why are you focusing?
What do you worry about things thatare happening all the time. You
know, just deal in the areathe three feet around you that you can

(08:22):
affect. But but I, youknow I and as an entrepreneur, I
you know, I coach a lotof young entrepreneurs people that come in and
they don't realize crisis is a partof the it's part of the cycle.
It's it's you know, you can'tavoid it, and it's not about if

(08:46):
it happens to you, it's whenit happens to you, and then what
do you do about it? Right, And so having that understanding that it's
going to happen, and now toyour point, it could be a data
breach, it could be embezzlement.It there's so many things that can happen
in a business. It's just staythere for a second. And yet you

(09:07):
have to learn to adapt and figurethat out. And I think that's why
having you know, CEO, coach, you know, coaches and whatnot is
a good place, especially young startingyou know, uh, people starting new
businesses have to because a lot oftimes they get frozen. Oh my gosh,
this was not in my business planright in the business line. But

(09:31):
that's part of what you have tobe prepared for, is the things that
you don't foresee, you know,so you kind of break down exactly the
management. There's like different ways ofhandle There's obviously there's preparing, there's prevent
it, prevention, carrying it,there's managing it, and then of course
if it happens, then you gotto there's a lot of mismanagement that happened.

(09:54):
So like, if someone is therea generalized like, can you prove
like what is the mindset you goin to prevent crisis in a business situation
on a personal situation? Do youhave these broken down these steps? So
yes, So what I will say, and it's our tagline on the crisis
files not a matter of if,but when crisis will rock your world or

(10:16):
crisis will happen to you, Andthat's that just is Okay, that's a
truism. But how you react tocrisis starts with you. So step number
one is to not panic. Okay, you just you have to not let
yourself freeze because sometimes freezing and inactioncan also be a bad reaction. So

(10:37):
if you go in knowing not amatter of if, but when, and
you try to make sure all yourpeople are safe and secure. You've done
background checks on your employees, youkeep open dialogue with employees and leaders,
so if they do have some kindof mishap that's happened, they're not going
to hide it from you. They'regoing to bring it to your IT department

(10:58):
or bring it to the boss andsay, oops, I opened this email.
We might have to worry about adata breach, But it's just better
that you have an open line andhelp people understand. Just communicate with us,
be open. There won't be repercussions, right, obviously, we don't
want people stealing from the company.There's repercussions for that. But you as

(11:20):
the person, whether you lead ateam or just leading yourself, as Glenn
says, those three feet around you, what are you doing to just be
prepared? You know, are youlocking your cardo, are you locking the
office drawers? Simple things can preventa lot of things. Also on social
media, our digital world, it'sso different from when I was in television

(11:41):
news. You can actually proof yourposts. Think about it. If you're
angry, don't post sleep on itbecause those kinds of things can get in
the way and can cause huge things. And then there are really egregious things.
For example, the CEO of McDonald'she was let go by the board
right because he was having an affairwith the subordinate. As I understand the

(12:01):
story, Well, that's a prettyobvious thing that's going to get you a
hot water. So how many risksdo you want to let yourself be open
to? And that's a personal decision, but as a crisis prevention person,
I'm going to say, let's tryto firewall off these risks. But if
you know, grit happens or shit happens, you have to have an

(12:24):
attitude of positivity and non panic inyour reaction. Well, we do that
our company. What we've done foryears is we almost celebrate our mistakes.
And what I mean by that iswe really we want people to bring them
up quickly, as you mentioned,because then we can deal with them faster.
Right, and they're there, Andthere are times where I've seen groups

(12:48):
come in that maybe have a differentthought process, they might have some paranoia
where they're they're worried about they're biggerbosses and what's going to happen if there's
a mistake, So they shut shutdown the communication, don't talk about it,

(13:09):
or we can all get in trouble. All that does is fester and
it creates even more of a problem. Right, And so to have that
open communication and be able to getto your problem fast is the only way
to grow in an organization because you'realways gonna have problems, You're always gonna
have mistakes. Things are gonna happen, So it's just let's not you know,

(13:33):
if you look, if someone's overand over doing a mistake, that's
an issue. But if you makea mistake and you say, okay,
hey, let's move on, let'sfigure it out, let's go on.
But I think the crisis gets biggerwhen people and the voice is shut shut
down, right, think a goodpoint, and I think it's important for
leaders of any company to lean intocreating an environment of trust that goes back

(13:58):
to the you were because you knowwhat we tell our employees like, we're
an open door. Here's our cellphone, here call us if there's anything.
And I always say, if wedon't know, we can't grow.
So we want to hear we don'tAnd Glenn Off emphasizes to the employees if
something's broken, tell us that wehave the opportunity to fix it because we
don't just want to hear praise allthe time. That doesn't make us any

(14:20):
better. It confirms that we're doingsomething right, but it doesn't help us
improve. So, you know,creating that environment I think is incredibly important
in any workspace and a culture ofcommunication and trust and that there's no you
know, recourse or you know,anyone doing bringing it up well. Trust
is so important right, You havenothing if you don't have trust. And

(14:43):
what I like to say is eachof us in an organization is a brand
ambassador for the organization, even ifwe're not the spokesperson, you know,
even if we're not Glenn Stearn's oncamera all the time speaking on behalf of
the company or getting documented, youknow, on network news. But each
of us is a brand ambassador.And when you think of it that way,

(15:05):
you protect your brand. And ifthere's a mishap, one of my
mentors says, there are no failures. There are only wins and learnings.
So even if something didn't go howyou planned, we can learn from it,
kind of to Glenn's point. Butthen if you also couple that with
I'm a brand ambassador, so somethingdidn't go the way it should have,

(15:26):
Let's not keep that to myself.Let me share it with our inside team.
Let me share it with the boss. Because guess what, it's better
if you share it yourselves on theinside before some external anchor actor like law
enforcement or the federal government or themedia come after you from the outside.
So we want to be brand ambassadorsfirst on the inside, open lines of

(15:48):
communication, and that way we canput our best face in our best message.
You know. It's funny. Ihad one time we had somebody in
one of our companies take some moneyand we ended up catching them. And
at the same time, there wassome big audits going on and a lot

(16:11):
of the executive teams like, wegot to hide it. You know,
we can't talk about this, andI said, hide it. I want
to put that person out on abig stick, hanging out in front of
everybody to see that they have wehave sent in the you know, the
marshals. They are going to jail. We found it, right, I'm
it's again, it's why why hideall? But then it's going to expose

(16:34):
a flaw. No, it isn't. People that want to steal from me.
They'll figure out a way to doit if you have bad people.
And I had no problem again puttingthem out in front of the whole organization
and letting them hang there to Andbecause it's it's again, you can't live
through fear. You can't run anorganization through fear. You have to be

(16:56):
able to realize stuff happens, andyou have to be able to address it,
and you have to move on fromit. And I think it's show
strength when you find something and yourealize we're addressing it head on instead of
worrying about what other people are goingto think, because it's not that's not
the issue, you know, It'snot that something happens to you again,
it's how you fix it. Aswe we've talked about, you know,

(17:18):
another piece of interesting kind of whenwe get into this deep crisis in two
thousand and seven and eight, whenthe world kind of fell apart, we
had the big financial crisis. Right, Being in mortgage banking, we were,
you know, right in the crosshairsof everything going on, and every

(17:41):
mortgage entity around us, they wereall dropping. They even had a website
called mortgage implode dot com. Right, it was an implodimeter Who's going to
fail today? So and if youwere on that site, you were doomed.
Even if you were doing okay.People so all it and everybody wouldn't
do business with you, you know, And it was it was horrible,

(18:03):
And I remember being at the lowestpoint. I mean, you know,
we were a pretty public facing company. We had, you know, all
these buy back loans and class actionlawsuits and loss eighty five percent of our
business and it was the darkest ofdays. And at the bottom of that,

(18:26):
I remember finally going every big mentorthat I've ever been with that have
succeeded beyond anybody's wildest imagination, they'veall gone through this, and so this
just happens to be my turn,right, and it's like, okay,
how are we going to get throughit now? Right? But back to

(18:48):
that, instead of freezing, insteadof locking up, you've got to realize
that it's okay if I make itthrough this. When I make it through
this, I deserve to be ontop. I just the you have to
turn your the you know, turnit around in your head, because you
can allow again all the demons toRussian and all the fear to come in,

(19:11):
and you've got to be able tofigure out how to deal with the
crisis. And I think that's whywhen you you know, when you're able
to surround yourself with people like youand people that can help come in because
you know, in my case,I was lucky. I had a group
called White po the Young Presidence Organization, where I could take these people and
go, what the heck am Igoing to do? Right? And I

(19:33):
got a lot of advice, andthere's a lot of companies out there that
don't have a whitepo, you know. So that and that's why I think
what you do is so important fora lot of people. You become like
a mentor for others, like that'sin some respects that's so necessary. Do
you have you had a mentor inyour life that helped guide you along?
As did you find that important tocreate that for others? Is can you

(19:56):
expand upon your own? Yeah?Absolutely, I would say nearly at every
stage of my life, I've hadsome mentors, some who have stayed you
know that. I still have somethat were those mentors for certain periods or
seasons. And I think it's reallyimportant that we're able to get feedback and
when we know it's coming from someonein a loving and trusting relationship or rapport,

(20:22):
that all they mean for us isgood, and so that it starts
with that. You have to beable to listen to that feedback, take
it in, and then change courseif needed. Now, if there's any
distrust, it's going to be hardto really call that person a mentor.
And I feel very blessed that whetherit was when I was making the decision
to really try to get into televisionnews after my real first plan had been

(20:45):
to become a trial lawyer. Tothen once I was in TV news,
how to go up and market size. You know, all the different mentors
I had along the way. Andthen when I made the decision near the
end of my on air TV careeras a reporter to start my business,
I spent about a year brainstorming whileI was working in TV. So I
reached out to my lawyer, Ireached out to some other advisors, and

(21:10):
I got advice. So I kindof put those reporting research skills into motion
for myself. So it's important tohave a few different voices, but it's
also important not to get too stuckin like a dozen voices. And then
really important is your inner narrative.What does your gut say? Don't ever
forget your gut. One of myfavorite lines from someone is I was researching

(21:36):
when I left TV news early twothousand and six, moved back home to
Minneapolis to start my business, spokewith a ton of entrepreneurs, business people,
got a lot of great advice.One of my best lines that I
heard from someone is never give upon yourself. And I have really like
that's really been inside it's really ledby inter narrative because absolutely there are ups

(21:57):
and downs, but if you nevergive up on yourself, you know that
you will get yourself out of eventhe darkest times. And it can be
hard. I mean, life isnot easy. But when you have some
of those toughest times and you digyourself out, usually what follows are some
of your best times. I couldknow you've probably both lived that I could

(22:19):
never have imagined seventeen and a halfyears ago when I left TV News,
that I would have what I havenow, whether and it's not always about
monetary but whether it's the book,the different stages I've been on, you
know, being an analyst on CoreTV, the different things that I do,
and most importantly the behind the scenessecret weapon I am to my clients.

(22:41):
I really find that rewarding that theyfind credibility in me to try to
make them their best as well asput on, you know, the best
position to prevent crisis in their world. I was really excited. One of
my clients earlier this week was atthe New York Stock Exchange revealing the or
Know their new slogan, and theirCEO was interviewed on squat Box. It

(23:03):
was really fun to watch knowing thatseveral of those leaders over the last years
I have been their coach and havesort of seen some of the behind the
scenes that got them to this day. So those are the kinds of things
that it's important to also stay humbleand know that you don't have all the
answers, So go ahead. Well, I was just going to say one

(23:23):
thing real quick, which is again, because so many young people that watch,
they have to understand you can't doit on your own right. It's
so difficult to come to have allthe answers, and you need coaches or
you need people that can help youbecause you're going to run into so many
different situations or crisises where you're goingto have to have people that you know

(23:48):
that have maybe already been down thatroad to keep you so you don't give
up on yourself and you realize thistoo shall pass, right, that we'll
get through it. Go ahead.I think that note. I think I
think some of the younger, probablyyounger entrepreneurs are starting out kind of feel
I have this mentality like I cando this, no one else can do
it, Like I can do it, no one else can know as to

(24:10):
how to get this done the wayI need to get it done. But
I think the greatest level of strengthis to ask for help and know that
you are not an island. Andyou can be the most powerful island in
the ocean, but you need peoplearound manning the shores and helping with the
you know, all the things thatare happening on an island. So I
think it makes you stronger. Well, you go into it as you're an
aunt. When you first start,well, no, no, no,

(24:32):
When your first start, you areon top of the world. We're going
to get to number one in ayear. This is easy. And then
you start running into the problems.And then I mean so many people fail
because they said I didn't know it'dbe this hard, you know, and
if I knew this, or orthey go for the excuse, well the
market changed and you know this happened. Whatever it takes to get your mind

(24:56):
to say it's okay to quit,and there's so many people that do that,
and you can't do that. Youcan't give up. Back to your
point, you have to figure outways to to talk your mind back into
fighting because it's a lonely place sometimesat the top, you know, and
That's why you do need a supportsystem around you or a coach or find

(25:18):
other groups of people that can sympathizewith you, you know, and be
able to go through a lot ofthat pain. So you do, you
know, take it one day ata time. You were like, if
you were to guide someone on acrisis management, that's kind of think in
general terms, what are three thingsthat like you all of a sudden your
face with the crisis in your marriage, with your family, in your work,

(25:40):
and you know wherever it is?Is there like, is there a
checklist? Like the first let's makesure that you're doing it. So this
this I share as sort of anoverall general checklist. First of all,
who are the internal and external stakehoverholders involved? So even if it's personal,

(26:02):
okay, is this a spat withmy daughter, Well, the internal
stakeholders are not just me and mydaughter. It could be the rest of
the family, it could be youname it. So who are the internal
and external stakeholders? If you're abusiness, the internal stakeholders are your employees.
The external stakeholders could be the media, could be the government. So
first identify those internal and external stakeholders. Then once you've identified them, Analyze

(26:27):
those audiences. What are the needsof those audiences you care about? So
going to the personal, if it'sthe daughter, how does she need to
receive the information, what makes hertick? If it's more of a business
setting, analyze each of those audiencesthat are going to ultimately need to hear

(26:48):
from you so that this doesn't turninto some huge crisis. Then step number
three and in the personal situation you'rethe spokesperson, but in more of a
business situation, and identify the bestspokespeople who's actually going to communicate to those
internal and external stakeholders in the waythose audiences need so that you as a

(27:11):
brand can influence or apologize or comeout looking better or looking great. So
that's the quick hit list. Identifyinternal external stakeholders, analyze those audiences,
and then really put out the bestspokespeople for all your messaging. So in
other words, when things aren't goingon with my teenage daughter, I should

(27:33):
have him or me be the spokespersonor in the situation, depending depending on
the content. So maybe a certainpart of content for your daughter, maybe
Glenn is the better spokesperson for themessage. In some cases it might be
you trust me I'm always like Glenn, look your help, help, You're
on your own island, deer.Sometimes I like it that teen island is

(28:00):
like a tight hand. Those twoshall pass, yes, right, okay,
So you know, let's if wecan get a little personal with you,
you know, speaking teenagers. Iknow you had a pretty traumatic life
experience in your teens as a youngwoman. Can you can you expand upon
that story of you know, becauseadversity. We all face adversity, many

(28:23):
people have it in many different ways. And we have a friend who's a
general captain of a prisoner of warand he gives an incredibly compelling speech,
but he he always says, adversityis a terrible thing to waste. And
I think life will be adverse andwe will have moments and how have you

(28:45):
dealt with it? And how hasyour adversity shaped you? Well? One
of, if not the most pivotalevent of my life, happened about three
weeks before I turned twelve, Andif we go a little earlier than that,
was diagnosed with colon cancer at thirtyeight. He died six weeks after
he turned forty. So my brotherand I were nine and eleven when he

(29:07):
died. It was the most pivotalevent of my life for sure, and
we were already a close family.It made my mother, my brother,
and I even closer. You know, things could have gottene the other direction,
right, So I give my mothera lot of credit for holding it
all together. And keep in mind, this was in the early eighties and
I had only my parents and Ihad only become US citizens about three years

(29:30):
prior to that, so all ofthis, you know, was wow.
You know, so many things andeducation was really important. Were South Asian,
so that's really beat into you froma young age. A minuses are
not good enough, So that wasone of the things I joke about.
I had a bit of a tigermom, but that really helped keep us

(29:52):
stable and it led to good highschool years, good college years. Both
my brother and I went on tolaw school. My brother is a trial
attorney. Obviously didn't practice law.But in that event, what I have
seen are the effects, both immediateand long term, is that I really
value life because you don't know whenyour last day is. And so I

(30:15):
would say people, I joke thathappy hour is my favorite meal. I
always want if the last time youwere with me was celebratory. That's what
I hope, whether it's at ameal, at a conference, a phone
call. So I hope people takethat message into their own lives. You
never really know how long each ofus is on this earth, and how

(30:37):
long our parents, our families,our siblings. So that really shaped a
lot of what I do, andeven in my book Communicate that I talk
about celebrating the mini wins. Ifyou've just had a good keynote speech,
or you just gave a great salespresentation, celebrate that. So and that
directly comes from how big of celebratorsmy parents work of birthdays, making you

(31:03):
feel so great on your birthday.So those are the little things that we
can do and the very pivotal,that pivotal event that shaped myself and my
brothers so much in how much wevalue every day and as well as those
special occasions that you don't let justpass by. You know, there's there's
We work with a group called HoratioAlger and we bring about three thousand scholarships

(31:27):
to young men and women who havegone through severe adversity. And it's amazing
to see these kids back to yourpoint, you and your brother being able
to go off and become lawyers andall these great things through that adversity.
And you'll have some people that veeroff the wrong way and other people that

(31:48):
go the right way. But adversity, it will drive you one way or
the other, I think with alot of young people, and you see
this and for some reason, youknow, some people will go in the
right direction, right, And it'swonderful to be able to support those people
and the youngsters and whatnot. Andso whenever we talk to young people and

(32:14):
they've gone through a lot, likewhat an amazing story to launch from,
right, because you can't go backwards, we can't change the past, but
we can create an amazing future byshowing people that this is not going to
define us, and this is goingto help us grow and become better people.

(32:36):
Right. And so I've seen almostevery successful person I know has had
some pretty severe adversity and trauma andother things in their life, and they
say, I will show you lifethat I'm going to be better than that,
that you're not going to hold medown, or you go the other
way, right, you end upin jail or dead or whatever, and

(32:59):
you're like, no, I'm avictim. So you're either going to be
the victim or the victor as theysay, right, you found in your
experience there are just some people thatwere built to run into the fire,
and others just aren't. Is ita trainable characteristic? Is it some I
mean I sit in I just todiverge on this weird personal example, I

(33:21):
have come upon probably six car accidentsand people were injured and have I jump
out and I run straight to thescene. I don't know why, but
everyone else sits in their car andwatches or videotapes and I'm just like,
is it something you're born with?Does it develop? Is it something that
someone says, I'm going straight intothe fire? Do you find that?

(33:43):
Can you expand? It's probably acombination. So in your case in a
d and mine having been in TVnews, like, yes, we run
toward the dangerous story, right,We want the story, get the story,
want to be and not only that, get it first. So there
is I think a little bit ofthat that's part of someone's DNA. But
then I do think a lot ofit can be coachable or trainable. I
always start by asking people about theirinner narrative, and there's a way that

(34:08):
I have a simple test I createdcalled the Wow Factor test, on a
scale of one to ten, tenbeing the highest. Where do you put
yourself on a powerful presence scale?Not thinking about whether you're presenting or speaking,
but just in general. And Ido this exercise both individually and even
when I'm on large stages and keynotes. I have a couple of people come

(34:29):
up on stage. I asked themthis question. And sometimes people are they
want to be shy or not shy, they want to be modest, and
they won't say I'm a ten.They say I'm a five or a six.
And I say, wow, Wow, do you need a hug?
Because if on the inside, ifon the inside you think you're a five
or six, everybody in the outside, your family, your boss, your

(34:52):
friends, they expect you to bea ten. So what are you leaving
on the table, The money you'releaving on the table, the influence?
I mean, boy, when Iexplain this to salesperson, they come back
and say, I'm going to sayI'm a ten. Because if you say
anything less than a ten, itdoesn't mean you're perfect, doesn't mean you
know how to speak well at alltimes. It means that inner is pumping

(35:13):
you out there so I always sayI'm a ten every day. Sometimes I'm
a ten minus, sometimes a ten. I'm at ten plus. Some days
I should not talk to human beingsbecause I'm just down in the dumps.
But I'm still a ten. Stillten, yes, And that's the inner
narrative. So I talk with peopleto bring that number up. We know
Glenn has that ten. But thebottom line is, if I can coach

(35:37):
people to get that inter narrative upto a ten, there's really nothing they
cannot do. But you have tobelieve it first. You have to believe
it first. Yea, I haveso many twelve No, but you have
to. You have to convince yourselfright because to your point, you know,

(36:00):
if you don't, if you walkout with less than feeling, other
people feel that as well. Youknow, well I always say that when
when I would do stage with kidsor improv or you know, I'd just
say, the more you buy intoyourself, the more everybody else will like
if you're on stack, and it'snot about faking, like, I don't
like this fake it till you makeit. I hate that expression. I

(36:22):
know I know it is, andlook, you can be honest. Look,
I'm a tend but today I'm feelinglow. Okay, if you can
control your interactions that day, ifyou can schedule meetings around that or not
have meetings that day, if that'spossible, maybe do that. If you
need to go give your you getyourself your favorite coffee drink, or you

(36:44):
need to go get a massage tokind of help boost you whatever. That's
what's important is how do we identifyour needs? So self care goes into
all this. Right, if we'restrung out or lack of sleep, or
you know, haven't really had ashower in five days, that's good effect
the internet exactly. And we shouldwake up in the morning and say,

(37:05):
hey, what's your wild factor numbertoday? Well, after you take your
shower up a ten plus. Butyou know, but it is, it's
it's a it's a mindset. Youhave to I mean too, if you
want to be a winner, youhave to keep a positive mindset. And
you know, and everyone I've hadpeople, how do you always have a
positive mindset? And it' say it'shard sometimes, right, you know,

(37:27):
but they're that's saying, right,whether you think you can or you think
you can't, you're right, youknow. And so we have to remember
that you have to keep the positiveside going or you're going to fall into,
you know, the victim mentality,and then you're done, you know.
And and it's a and and andagain. In a career, you

(37:49):
it has a lot of times whereyou're up and you think you're on top
of the world and you can dono wrong. Cycles change and all of
a sudden, you're going, wasit all luck? What happened to me?
How did I get down here?You know? And And if you're
if you've been around long enough oryou've talked to enough people, you can
start to realize, Okay, it'sjust my time to be in that part

(38:10):
of the cycle, And now howam I going to get through it?
Right? How am I going toget through it till I'm better? And
you look at a tree, youknow, and you cut it and you
trim it and you get it down. It might not look real pretty,
but boy will grow back stronger andmore healthy, you know. And so
that's what I always say about thetrees. To cut the trees in our
hate, and I'm like, they'regoing to come back stronger and beautiful.

(38:34):
So absolutely, you know, I'mabout to wrap up here speaking trees and
Christmas trees around the corner here andwe're entering it. That's a distressful time,
a lot of crisis season for somany people. You want to give
us a little holiday mindset going intothis and just kind of remind people what
this is all about. How tostay well. Grace is very important,

(38:55):
both for yourself and for others.So showing your self grace. First of
all, you don't have to goto every party. You don't have to
sit next to that relative that bugsyou at the meal, like figure out
a way not to do what youneed to do. You know yourself best,
so do your own hacks or theown things you need to do.

(39:19):
Go in with some sort of relaxationmindset. Go and get your hair done
before these different events, get amassage, have a date night with someone
you care about before the big familymeal. Really get your mindset in the
right place and set expectations. Iwould say, no, that's what set

(39:40):
them lowe. You rarely hear mesay that, mindy, but I'm going
say it. I know you events, that's the highway. No, I've
always in your podcast you talk abouthigh expect pages. But yeah, you
know what I think you set lowexpectations, so there's no resentment built because
I think or no expectations. Canwe walk in with no expectations? Can

(40:02):
we do that? Be ready foreverything? Yes, crisis the version number
one oh one, no expectations.Then it's just going to be what it
is, right, But you goin with as much of a ten attitude
from the inside as you can,and you're probably going to have your best
holiday season yet. I love thatbook it. Let's post it. That's

(40:24):
a great let's do it SoundBite there. And so speaking of posting, where
can we follow you? Where canwe get your information? Where can people
find you? Well, I wouldlove for you to go to own your
wow dot com. That is wowright, that is the website we're doing.
We're in the process, speaking oflike always changing. Next year we'll

(40:45):
have a pretty updated site, anevolution of that site. And then the
Crisis files dot com, so thatis one of the places you can find
the podcast, right, and thatis becoming a true site come January one.
So the Crisis files dot com orwherever you find podcasts, you can

(41:05):
find the Crisis Files. We're allover and then of course LinkedIn Rashini Rajkamar
had a lot of great speakers onthere that would be on Instagram. I
oh yes, Rashini Rachkamar on Instagramor the Crisis Files on Instagram. We'll
get it. We'll put it downthe bottom. Yeah, yeah, listening
to the podcast in their podcast notes. But the Crisis Files is great.

(41:29):
We're everywhere both online and at theCrisis Files on Instagram. Would be wonderful
to get your folks to follow us. We would love it and we look
forward to having Glenn on the showvery soon too. Absolutely enjoyed listening to
the other day. Thank you forbeing on our podcast today. That's right

(41:51):
with what we what we deal with, which is great. So it's all
about it and it happens. SoRashini, thank you, thanks so much
for joining us today. We reallyappreciate your time, your insight, and
all these wonderful nuggets. We'll belooking for you and look forward to another
opportunity and happy holidays. Happy holidays, Thank you both. All right,
take care of me.