August 17, 2025 • 29 mins
The Fabulous Dr. Tweedy 47-03-12 (28) Dr. Tweedy Hires A Secretary
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mabulous doctor tweeting that's me, sorry, Frank Margin. Let's me
doo ah. Yes, once again it's Frank market time, and
here he is, Frank Margin. Yes, good evening. I've been
noticing the news styles and women's clothes, and they certainly
(00:23):
are revealing they're getting so abbreviated that they're going to
start pringing the fashion magazines and pocket size. I don't
know how they do it, but every year the slacks
get tighter. I saw one girl whose slacks were so
tight her eyes were popping out further than mine. Now,
if you'll excuse me, I'll just go slip into my
(00:44):
jerkins by Robert Riley Crutcher and Storrying Fright Bargain. Doctor
(02:11):
Tadeus Q. Tweety, Professor of Philosophy and Dean of Potts College,
has devoted a great deal of his leisure time to
the study of psychology. We find a great man at home,
immersed in a book. Baldy, his tremendous old English sheep dog,
has stretched out peacefully at doctor Tweedy's peak. A correction
on his feet. Baldi, get off my feet. I'll go
(02:32):
lie in the corner.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Woo.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yes, I know why you're so sleepy? I heard you
coming in at three o'clock this morning, you gay dog
burst the wolf in sheep dog's clothing. No, no, no,
no no, I know somebody's at the door. Ball it's
stop finding.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
A look, roll out the flesh carpet and stoot your
trumpet his list this that papuly you lucky?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Then welcome in this, as the poet says, the merry,
but I look for guests. Full often proves to be
the best.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Your kiddo, I'm your neighbor, and you should love your neighbor.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Well, I'm hull gardis.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
How can you hold yourself back?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Sheer? Willpa? Let me take your things, your coat, your gloves.
This is a papers What a ravishing babushka you have? Now?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Wait a minute's cart not self passed? What did babushka?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well, I was referring to your shawl. I shall ride
with me today. Oh I seem so good today.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I want to kiss everybody.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Come up to whet them. My sweet love.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Takes kids.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
No rich is the publish. Please, you should be more
demure kiss me than you're than men?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
How family is getting hoted every minute?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I'm getting colder every second.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
The tweetle honey bunny.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I was talking to color Jackson next door, and he
told me your servant, well, be sinker through the coop.
What's cooking?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Well? You see? Well be was the nice of the
road at hot and in the spring the hoboes fancy
lightly turns the thoughts of frights. He's gone, Oh, yes,
I'll miss the pattern of his big flat feet around
the house. I'll have to get someone to do my housework.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Well, now you're talking with ed, Yes, you need to housekeeper.
A publish is single, unmarried and a lady bachelor. Ay,
here's a pillow, sweet boy, get done on your knees
and start.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Proposing, proposing. Isn't there an easier way to get the
housework done? Do we look at all you're giving two.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Hundred tons of gargeous women in.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Full bloom gone to see it? Eh, there must be
an easier way, Oh, you lucky boy.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
All the men want the publish, but that paplage once.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Sweetened, and nobody cares what Treeta wants. Oh, mister Poblis,
I'm afraid I'll have to reject your overly generous offer.
You see, I'm going to send for Willy Beza. What's
the Willy beases? Willy used to work for me, and
I think you'd be very happy to come back.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Okay, So this kind of pupulish loses. But one of
these days my name will be lisztra Trat.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yes, my name will be mud. Now, if you excuse me,
mister Popolas, I suddenly remember an urgent appointment in my office.
Safe at last. Oh no, she followed me. Well, good afternoon.
(06:29):
Not to tweety, sir. Oh, it's only you, colonel, Come in,
come in, close the door, missus apopulace is loose. Now,
what's on your mind, colonel? A very serious problem, doctor tweety?
Was it down? Colonel? No, no, no, not that chair,
not that one, this one. This face is south. Thank you, sir,
(06:51):
Thank you. You are unusually considered for yankee. Sir, Oh,
balls of fire. Look who's calling whom? The yankee. I'm
as sullen as a pecan prailey, Yes, sir, and the
pecan prailleen is full of nuts. I'm very busy. You
know what's your problem? Sir? I took the liberty of
(07:14):
making an appointment for you with a certain young lady
in my chemistry class. She be along in a minute.
Her name is Georgia Genevieve cold Pepper. Oh, yes, Culpepper,
I remember her. Her beauteous, most distracting, Sir. Her features
are as delicate as a sweet magnolia bud, shyly opening
the jasmine sainted moonlight. Yes, I've heard that she reminds
(07:36):
me of funny suckle blossoms and Spanish moss, gracefully hanging
from the cypress trees and swaying in the soft, warm breeze.
She's from the South, you know. Yes, that southern bell
has a familiar ring. She comes from one of the
South's most aristocratic family, Sir, the Cooper Junction, col Pepper, Oh, Gooper,
(07:59):
Doctor Quid. Something's troubling her. She can't keep her mind
on her studies. Well, as a teacher, that should hardly
surprise you. Well, I'd like you to have a little
talk with it, doctor tweeted. You have an extensive knowledge
of young people in that psychology. Well, I don't worry, Colonel.
I'll be glad to haven't talked with her. I'm familiar
with these situations and they're psychological repercussions. It could be
(08:21):
an inferiority, psychological repercussion. It could be an inferiority complex,
or maybe she's just playing stupid. Doctor tweetys her. She's
(08:43):
from the South. Oh, you're right, it can't be stupidity. No,
sir oo, that would be miss Culpepper. I can tell
by those lady like southern knocks. I'll go out by
the side doors.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Come in, hello, doctor Tweeting.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
I'm Georgia Culpepper, Georgia Gentlevie Coulpeper. Did Colonel Jackson tell
you about poor little me?
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yes? Yes, come in, miss Culpeper. He mentioned that you
were having a little difficulty passing your chemistry.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Oh well, it was sweeter him to say that. But
I'm having trouble passing everything. I guess I'm not a
queen a little stupid girl.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
You stupid anyone? Good? Look at you as he that
you're I mean that you have that you're obviously very intelligent.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Oh well, thank you, doctor Tweeting. I think you're the
sweetest man this out at goober Junction. You men appreciate
my mind.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Uh mine? Uh? This Colpeper called me Georgia. It puts
me at ease.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
As long as we're gonna have a little talk to.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You brought me to be at ease, don't you, ms culpeper.
I'd rather you didn't relax too much. Now tell me
why you can't study.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Every time I open a textbook, my mind just wanders.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Right out of the window. Yes, well, not so fast.
I'd like to make some notes. Now, where does your
mind go over the Jim Nazy while all the boys
are running around those cute little old tracks too? Oh yeah, yes,
well they count be that simple. Your problem. Your problem
must be something deeper. It's quite possible you have an
(10:36):
inferiority complex.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Oh yes, doctor Tweeter. Whenever I'm out with the boy,
I always.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Feel so inferior.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
But they like me like that. That's why they're always
susiege in me for date.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Sh Well, i'll make a note of that slightly inferior complex.
But let's go deeper. Psychology teaches us that if you
can't concentrate on one thing, you must be thinking about
something else.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
The craft and all my time concentrating on my study
and on how I can get some handsome boy to
help me study.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yeah, well, going to try a very simple psychological test. Now,
I'll say a word, and you answer somebody saying the
first word that pops into your head. Your answers will
give me a clear picture of what's on your mind.
Now here's the first word, birds see, animals who moon, convertible,
(11:34):
warm palm boy. Next. Oh yeah, well, doctor tweet I
just don't know what to do about it. Yes, well,
I can figure out the rest. I know what's keeping
you from concentrating. You have an inferiority complaxt.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Oh, doctor tweety, You're wonderful, and this time I was
afraid it was boish.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Well you interested in boys. I assure you. It's an
inferiority complex.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Oh that sounds so romantic. What's the treatment for that?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Well, the most important thing is to keep busy. What
you need is a job that will take every minute
of your spare time.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Uh, doctor tweety, You don't have a secretary, do you?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
No? I don't you see I right? I do? I know,
absolutely not. I wouldn't consider.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
It, doctor tweeted. Colonel Jackson has showed me you'd help
me in every way you could.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Well, yes, I like to, but I don't.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Then I go right over and tell him how you
killed me in my trouble by hiring me as your secretary.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
But I haven't. I didn't. You shouldn't sto.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
He is a great big kiss for you.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Will no, no, goodbye. I go right over and tell
the colonel. Then I'll be there. Yeah. But miss Colebroper, no,
come back here. I didn't mean it. Don't tell the colonel. Easy.
What are you afraid she'll tell the colonel? Oh? Hello,
mister Potts, excuse me. I'm chasing miss Culpepper. So I
(13:08):
see it looks like fun. Do you mind if I
join you? Mister Potts, Please, this is serious. I've made
a mistake and I have to keep her from telling
the Colonel Tweety. As chairman of the Board of Trustees,
I frown on activities like this. What happened? Tell me
all the details. Well, you see, miss Culpepper hasn't been
(13:29):
able to keep her mind on our studies, and you've
been teaching her to concentrate. Now you've got the right idea.
I'm something of an amateur psychologist, and I've been exploring
her subconscious mind. Go on, Tweety. I always believe in
giving a man enough rope. Well, I found out what
her trouble was she's man crazy tweety. Don't you think
(13:52):
you'd better wipe that lipstick off your forehead? I got
Oh that is well, Georgia, I mean miss Culpepper got
so excited she give me? How was it tweeting? Oh? Now, come,
come a spots. You're not thinking what I think you're thinking. Yes,
Oh no, I've done it again, and I'm back to
(16:27):
Frank Morgan as the fabulous Doctor Tweety. Doctor tweety promised
Colonel Jackson that he would solve ms Culpeper's problem. Ms
Culpeper has a very unusual problem. She likes boys, Docter tweety.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
I finished straight on your fallen cabinets. Oh that reminds me?
Are my scene straight?
Speaker 1 (16:47):
It seems? Uh seems my fockings, the stockings, Yeah, very pretty.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
I always buy the sheerest kind I can find. Don't
you just love sheer silks?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Doctor, take a letter, miss called paper.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
I'll sit right here on miss chair.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
M Ma.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Now I'm comforted. Go ahead, I'm off f Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Uh dear, didn't I read somewhere that skirts were going
to be longer this year? Why? Doctor tweeted you?
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Sweet little old teddy bear.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I don't want you.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
I didn't think you noticed things like that.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I try not too, but you are. You are right.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
The skirts this year are gonna diep low in the back,
but they're sure in front.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, you are right in style.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
You say those sweetest things.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Eh. Take a letter, miss, callpap By. It's the Willie PSA,
dear Willie. In your last letter you said you were
looking for work. I'd be very happy to have you
come back and work for me.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Again, Doctor Tweety, I'd appreciate if you go a little slower.
It's hard to juggle as pad on my knee.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Oh yes, well, to continue, I'm enclosing your train. Pair
ten kneeds I mean dollars come down at once, take
the first leg, I mean limb. Hello long distance. Yes,
this is doctor Skirt speaking. Uh, Goober Junction calling. Oh yes, well,
(18:32):
I'll put mister Culpepper right on. Well that's my daddy. Yes,
I had a little talk with him on the phone
last night. He was worried about your grades. Hello, mister Culpepper,
how's everything at your plantation? Goober Heaven? All right? Heah, Georgia.
He wants to talk to you. Yeah, I'll go in the.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
Outer off Hello, daddy, this is your little old Georgia Gentlemeneve.
Oh yes, doctor tweet is the sweet smile you. Why
he suggested you send me a little gift to boast
of my morales, and you're sending me a mink coat
and a new convertible.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Oh daddy, you're the sweetest mine.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
You.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Col Jackson, Can I give you a lift somewhere with my.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Brand new convertible, mister colsipper Well, I didn't recognize your
decked out from that expensive mink.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
Oh, Col Jackson, it was wonderful for you to get
me that apartment. Mister Tweeting, Why it's changed my whole
life so much? Fundy in his secretary.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I'm afreedo. I'm beginning to understand what you mean, and
furthermore of it.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Were for doctor tweety, I wouldn't be sporting this mint
coat and new convertible.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I suddenly acquired an urgent desire to have a few
words with doctor tweety. Hey, but first I'm going in
here to see the hell to the college. Mister Potts, all.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Right, you buy now.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Eight tea in the morning, Doctor Tweety, A mink coat,
a new convertible, bull regard. See Jackson, what have you done? Well?
Good morning, colonel. Excuse my bare head, but I give
my to pay a hundred strokes for the stiff brush
every day makes the hair glossy? Sir? Have you seen
(20:36):
miss Culpepper? Have I? Why do you think I'm brushing
my two pey? Mister Hart's, I thought she was doctor
Tweety's secretary. She is. You should have seen Tweety chasing
her down the hall. Mister Pott's. I sat to miss
Colepepper the doctor Tweety for a little talk. Now she's
(20:59):
his secretary. Yeah, as Tweety is a brilliant conversationalist. And
now brace yourself, mister Potts. I just saw miss Cldpepper.
Which way did you go? She was driving a brand
new convertible and wearing a mink coat. Oh, I bet
she looked gorgeous. So she was honest enough to inform
(21:19):
me that doctor Tweety gave them to her. Tweety gave
her a mink coat and a convertible. That's terrible. Why
he can't do that, not on the salary I pay him?
How well? I know? Or tweety s couldn't have given
her those things. Where would he get his hands on
that much money? Mister Pottson doesn't tweety administer the funds
for the student council? Of course, yes, he keeps the
(21:42):
cash in his office, But I have complete faith in
his integrity, and honestly, we'd better go check you sent
for him, spots tweety, my old friend. Yeah, have a chair. Well,
(22:05):
thank you, mister Bodz. You look so kind and benevolent.
Are you sick? Yes, tweety, I'm sick at heart at heart.
Someone near and dear to me has stabbed me in
the back. How is missus? Potts Please? What I have
(22:27):
to do is unpleasant enough. Don't bring her? Oh I'm sorry.
A beautiful young woman here on the campus has recently
acquired a mink coat and convertible. Yeah, some men gave
them to her. Oh, dear lord, sum of money is missing.
I'm in a terrible spot, tweety. Oh dear, why did
you do it? Mister pots tweety, I'll put it bluntly, Yes,
(22:49):
the money is missing from your office. The young woman
I referred to with the mink coating convertible is your secretary.
She said you gave them to her. Me why am
I laughing tweeting my old friend. You're not the first
man to make a fool of himself over a woman. Now,
of course it might not have happened if you'd had
as much experience as I've had. What about missus Potts?
(23:18):
That was my bitterest experience. So I stand accused. Oh
Shakespeare's head, this is the most unkindest cut of all
all my life. I've tried to be straightforward and completely honest,
and now a large sum of money is missing from
your office. Mister Potts. It's beneath me to stand here
and deny your insinuations. You needn't bother to ask for
(23:40):
my resignation. I quit good days just the moment, tweety.
You can't quit. Why it's going to take you two
years of working for nothing to pay back that missing money?
Missing money my foot. I remember exactly what I did
with it. I had it on my desk and I
was counting it, and then Miss Culpepper asked me if
her seams were straight. They weren't, and she straightened them,
and then I had to start counting all over again.
(24:03):
Did you know that skirts this year alone and back
and high in front go on tweety, This is getting good.
I spotted counting the money all over again. And then
Miss Culpepper asked me if I thought nies had personalities,
how could that money disappear? I had my eye on
(24:24):
it all the time, or did I I'll go hunt
for it. Goodbye. Stop with you are, doctor tweety. Well,
you and I have some unfinished business. Oh, colonel, I
meant to tell you I straightened out Miss Culpepper's problem.
Now I've got one of my own. Mister Potts thinks
I gave her mink coat is a convertible. He told
(24:46):
me you gave them to him. Oh she did. Where
is miss Culpepper? There's no hurry to find a doctor tweety, Yes,
there is no. Besides, it's bad luck to see your
bride before the wedding. My bride before the I've got
I don't company, don't know. Oh yes, Tweedy, you lucky dog.
(25:06):
Miss Colepepper is a Southern gentlewoman. And in the South,
when a man gives a woman I mean coat, his
intentions are honor. But my intentions of minister will be
here any minutes. I don't get dispoge in my pocket
it's my cueling pistol. Oh no, a jeweling pistol. Wedding Gweedy,
that's made the first congratulator. I'll answer it. Hey, hell
(25:31):
not the free will. It means that I'm ready to go.
Oh yes, Willie, I can't talk to you now. I'm
in a lot of trouble. Yes, and you're the same
doctor treated maybe days a bit whoever, We discussed that later,
will he I fine feeling. I know why you're in trouble.
Don't have shocked you, muscle whatever you know, keep it quiet.
The sink's full of dirty dishes. Go home and wash them.
(25:53):
And here's the key. Yes, I'm glad you did me
this job. Well, I didn't expect you to stand me
twenty eight hundred dollars. I was trained fair. You know.
If there's an inflation, I love it. Twenty eight hundred.
But I only sent you ten dollars. Ten dollars make
the biggest pile. See look at all these doctor if
(26:16):
the green echens, yeah, tweeting that must be the missing money.
Then you didn't take it. Of course I didn't take it,
and I've been wounded to the quick by the ass
persions you cast about my affy. You know, I I
just know that money had something to do with the trouble.
(26:37):
He was there. Yes, Miss Komfort forgot me confused while
I was counting it, and I must have sent it
to Willie beasup I mistake, Tweedy bees, accept my deep
bow of apology. Yeah up, here's your two payment spots.
He had, he had the money, doctor Sweedey, I got it,
(26:58):
would love it a hole eight hundred dollars. Oh, and
as for your insinuations, colonel. Without the money, I couldn't
have purchased those gifts from Miss Culpepper. He's right, Colonel,
oh tweeted. It was one watching you squirm. God, the
tweet is shirm. You could have thought those gifts on credits. Yeah,
he's right, you could have now just a minute. Nobody
(27:19):
would give me credits. They know I worked for mister Potts,
except except my most humble apologies, doctor tweet in. But
who else has been paying attention to Miss Culpepper? Who
could afford it? Yes, mister Potts, didn't you tell me
you were brushing your twope on Miss Culpepper's behalf? Excuse me,
(27:52):
I shouldn't remember an urgent board meeting, mister Potter. This
port in my pocket is a jeweling pistol. You're I'm
gonna have a little talk about this talk Whee tweetie,
get me out of there. He thinks that eats mister
pepper tweety say something. Please, mister pots let me be
(28:13):
the first to congratulate you. This is the United States
Time Forces Radio Service, the Voice of Information and Education
(29:21):
d
Mabulous doctor tweeting that's me, sorry, Frank Margin. Let's me
doo ah. Yes, once again it's Frank market time, and
here he is, Frank Margin. Yes, good evening. I've been
noticing the news styles and women's clothes, and they certainly
(00:23):
are revealing they're getting so abbreviated that they're going to
start pringing the fashion magazines and pocket size. I don't
know how they do it, but every year the slacks
get tighter. I saw one girl whose slacks were so
tight her eyes were popping out further than mine. Now,
if you'll excuse me, I'll just go slip into my
(00:44):
jerkins by Robert Riley Crutcher and Storrying Fright Bargain. Doctor
(02:11):
Tadeus Q. Tweety, Professor of Philosophy and Dean of Potts College,
has devoted a great deal of his leisure time to
the study of psychology. We find a great man at home,
immersed in a book. Baldy, his tremendous old English sheep dog,
has stretched out peacefully at doctor Tweedy's peak. A correction
on his feet. Baldi, get off my feet. I'll go
(02:32):
lie in the corner.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Woo.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Yes, I know why you're so sleepy? I heard you
coming in at three o'clock this morning, you gay dog
burst the wolf in sheep dog's clothing. No, no, no,
no no, I know somebody's at the door. Ball it's
stop finding.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
A look, roll out the flesh carpet and stoot your
trumpet his list this that papuly you lucky?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Then welcome in this, as the poet says, the merry,
but I look for guests. Full often proves to be
the best.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Your kiddo, I'm your neighbor, and you should love your neighbor.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Well, I'm hull gardis.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
How can you hold yourself back?
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Sheer? Willpa? Let me take your things, your coat, your gloves.
This is a papers What a ravishing babushka you have? Now?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Wait a minute's cart not self passed? What did babushka?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well, I was referring to your shawl. I shall ride
with me today. Oh I seem so good today.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I want to kiss everybody.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Come up to whet them. My sweet love.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Takes kids.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
No rich is the publish. Please, you should be more
demure kiss me than you're than men?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
How family is getting hoted every minute?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I'm getting colder every second.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
The tweetle honey bunny.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I was talking to color Jackson next door, and he
told me your servant, well, be sinker through the coop.
What's cooking?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Well? You see? Well be was the nice of the
road at hot and in the spring the hoboes fancy
lightly turns the thoughts of frights. He's gone, Oh, yes,
I'll miss the pattern of his big flat feet around
the house. I'll have to get someone to do my housework.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Well, now you're talking with ed, Yes, you need to housekeeper.
A publish is single, unmarried and a lady bachelor. Ay,
here's a pillow, sweet boy, get done on your knees
and start.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Proposing, proposing. Isn't there an easier way to get the
housework done? Do we look at all you're giving two.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Hundred tons of gargeous women in.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Full bloom gone to see it? Eh, there must be
an easier way, Oh, you lucky boy.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
All the men want the publish, but that paplage once.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Sweetened, and nobody cares what Treeta wants. Oh, mister Poblis,
I'm afraid I'll have to reject your overly generous offer.
You see, I'm going to send for Willy Beza. What's
the Willy beases? Willy used to work for me, and
I think you'd be very happy to come back.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Okay, So this kind of pupulish loses. But one of
these days my name will be lisztra Trat.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yes, my name will be mud. Now, if you excuse me,
mister Popolas, I suddenly remember an urgent appointment in my office.
Safe at last. Oh no, she followed me. Well, good afternoon.
(06:29):
Not to tweety, sir. Oh, it's only you, colonel, Come in,
come in, close the door, missus apopulace is loose. Now,
what's on your mind, colonel? A very serious problem, doctor tweety?
Was it down? Colonel? No, no, no, not that chair,
not that one, this one. This face is south. Thank you, sir,
(06:51):
Thank you. You are unusually considered for yankee. Sir, Oh,
balls of fire. Look who's calling whom? The yankee. I'm
as sullen as a pecan prailey, Yes, sir, and the
pecan prailleen is full of nuts. I'm very busy. You
know what's your problem? Sir? I took the liberty of
(07:14):
making an appointment for you with a certain young lady
in my chemistry class. She be along in a minute.
Her name is Georgia Genevieve cold Pepper. Oh, yes, Culpepper,
I remember her. Her beauteous, most distracting, Sir. Her features
are as delicate as a sweet magnolia bud, shyly opening
the jasmine sainted moonlight. Yes, I've heard that she reminds
(07:36):
me of funny suckle blossoms and Spanish moss, gracefully hanging
from the cypress trees and swaying in the soft, warm breeze.
She's from the South, you know. Yes, that southern bell
has a familiar ring. She comes from one of the
South's most aristocratic family, Sir, the Cooper Junction, col Pepper, Oh, Gooper,
(07:59):
Doctor Quid. Something's troubling her. She can't keep her mind
on her studies. Well, as a teacher, that should hardly
surprise you. Well, I'd like you to have a little
talk with it, doctor tweeted. You have an extensive knowledge
of young people in that psychology. Well, I don't worry, Colonel.
I'll be glad to haven't talked with her. I'm familiar
with these situations and they're psychological repercussions. It could be
(08:21):
an inferiority, psychological repercussion. It could be an inferiority complex,
or maybe she's just playing stupid. Doctor tweetys her. She's
(08:43):
from the South. Oh, you're right, it can't be stupidity. No,
sir oo, that would be miss Culpepper. I can tell
by those lady like southern knocks. I'll go out by
the side doors.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Come in, hello, doctor Tweeting.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
I'm Georgia Culpepper, Georgia Gentlevie Coulpeper. Did Colonel Jackson tell
you about poor little me?
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yes? Yes, come in, miss Culpeper. He mentioned that you
were having a little difficulty passing your chemistry.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
Oh well, it was sweeter him to say that. But
I'm having trouble passing everything. I guess I'm not a
queen a little stupid girl.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
You stupid anyone? Good? Look at you as he that
you're I mean that you have that you're obviously very intelligent.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Oh well, thank you, doctor Tweeting. I think you're the
sweetest man this out at goober Junction. You men appreciate
my mind.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Uh mine? Uh? This Colpeper called me Georgia. It puts
me at ease.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
As long as we're gonna have a little talk to.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
You brought me to be at ease, don't you, ms culpeper.
I'd rather you didn't relax too much. Now tell me
why you can't study.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Every time I open a textbook, my mind just wanders.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Right out of the window. Yes, well, not so fast.
I'd like to make some notes. Now, where does your
mind go over the Jim Nazy while all the boys
are running around those cute little old tracks too? Oh yeah, yes,
well they count be that simple. Your problem. Your problem
must be something deeper. It's quite possible you have an
(10:36):
inferiority complex.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Oh yes, doctor Tweeter. Whenever I'm out with the boy,
I always.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Feel so inferior.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
But they like me like that. That's why they're always
susiege in me for date.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Sh Well, i'll make a note of that slightly inferior complex.
But let's go deeper. Psychology teaches us that if you
can't concentrate on one thing, you must be thinking about
something else.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
The craft and all my time concentrating on my study
and on how I can get some handsome boy to
help me study.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yeah, well, going to try a very simple psychological test. Now,
I'll say a word, and you answer somebody saying the
first word that pops into your head. Your answers will
give me a clear picture of what's on your mind.
Now here's the first word, birds see, animals who moon, convertible,
(11:34):
warm palm boy. Next. Oh yeah, well, doctor tweet I
just don't know what to do about it. Yes, well,
I can figure out the rest. I know what's keeping
you from concentrating. You have an inferiority complaxt.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Oh, doctor tweety, You're wonderful, and this time I was
afraid it was boish.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Well you interested in boys. I assure you. It's an
inferiority complex.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Oh that sounds so romantic. What's the treatment for that?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Well, the most important thing is to keep busy. What
you need is a job that will take every minute
of your spare time.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
Uh, doctor tweety, You don't have a secretary, do you?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
No? I don't you see I right? I do? I know,
absolutely not. I wouldn't consider.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
It, doctor tweeted. Colonel Jackson has showed me you'd help
me in every way you could.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Well, yes, I like to, but I don't.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Then I go right over and tell him how you
killed me in my trouble by hiring me as your secretary.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
But I haven't. I didn't. You shouldn't sto.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
He is a great big kiss for you.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Will no, no, goodbye. I go right over and tell
the colonel. Then I'll be there. Yeah. But miss Colebroper, no,
come back here. I didn't mean it. Don't tell the colonel. Easy.
What are you afraid she'll tell the colonel? Oh? Hello,
mister Potts, excuse me. I'm chasing miss Culpepper. So I
(13:08):
see it looks like fun. Do you mind if I
join you? Mister Potts, Please, this is serious. I've made
a mistake and I have to keep her from telling
the Colonel Tweety. As chairman of the Board of Trustees,
I frown on activities like this. What happened? Tell me
all the details. Well, you see, miss Culpepper hasn't been
(13:29):
able to keep her mind on our studies, and you've
been teaching her to concentrate. Now you've got the right idea.
I'm something of an amateur psychologist, and I've been exploring
her subconscious mind. Go on, Tweety. I always believe in
giving a man enough rope. Well, I found out what
her trouble was she's man crazy tweety. Don't you think
(13:52):
you'd better wipe that lipstick off your forehead? I got
Oh that is well, Georgia, I mean miss Culpepper got
so excited she give me? How was it tweeting? Oh? Now, come,
come a spots. You're not thinking what I think you're thinking. Yes,
Oh no, I've done it again, and I'm back to
(16:27):
Frank Morgan as the fabulous Doctor Tweety. Doctor tweety promised
Colonel Jackson that he would solve ms Culpeper's problem. Ms
Culpeper has a very unusual problem. She likes boys, Docter tweety.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
I finished straight on your fallen cabinets. Oh that reminds me?
Are my scene straight?
Speaker 1 (16:47):
It seems? Uh seems my fockings, the stockings, Yeah, very pretty.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
I always buy the sheerest kind I can find. Don't
you just love sheer silks?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Doctor, take a letter, miss called paper.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
I'll sit right here on miss chair.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
M Ma.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Now I'm comforted. Go ahead, I'm off f Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Uh dear, didn't I read somewhere that skirts were going
to be longer this year? Why? Doctor tweeted you?
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Sweet little old teddy bear.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I don't want you.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
I didn't think you noticed things like that.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I try not too, but you are. You are right.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
The skirts this year are gonna diep low in the back,
but they're sure in front.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, you are right in style.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
You say those sweetest things.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Eh. Take a letter, miss, callpap By. It's the Willie PSA,
dear Willie. In your last letter you said you were
looking for work. I'd be very happy to have you
come back and work for me.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Again, Doctor Tweety, I'd appreciate if you go a little slower.
It's hard to juggle as pad on my knee.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Oh yes, well, to continue, I'm enclosing your train. Pair
ten kneeds I mean dollars come down at once, take
the first leg, I mean limb. Hello long distance. Yes,
this is doctor Skirt speaking. Uh, Goober Junction calling. Oh yes, well,
(18:32):
I'll put mister Culpepper right on. Well that's my daddy. Yes,
I had a little talk with him on the phone
last night. He was worried about your grades. Hello, mister Culpepper,
how's everything at your plantation? Goober Heaven? All right? Heah, Georgia.
He wants to talk to you. Yeah, I'll go in the.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
Outer off Hello, daddy, this is your little old Georgia Gentlemeneve.
Oh yes, doctor tweet is the sweet smile you. Why
he suggested you send me a little gift to boast
of my morales, and you're sending me a mink coat
and a new convertible.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Oh daddy, you're the sweetest mine.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
You.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Col Jackson, Can I give you a lift somewhere with my.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Brand new convertible, mister colsipper Well, I didn't recognize your
decked out from that expensive mink.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
Oh, Col Jackson, it was wonderful for you to get
me that apartment. Mister Tweeting, Why it's changed my whole
life so much? Fundy in his secretary.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I'm afreedo. I'm beginning to understand what you mean, and
furthermore of it.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Were for doctor tweety, I wouldn't be sporting this mint
coat and new convertible.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I suddenly acquired an urgent desire to have a few
words with doctor tweety. Hey, but first I'm going in
here to see the hell to the college. Mister Potts, all.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Right, you buy now.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Eight tea in the morning, Doctor Tweety, A mink coat,
a new convertible, bull regard. See Jackson, what have you done? Well?
Good morning, colonel. Excuse my bare head, but I give
my to pay a hundred strokes for the stiff brush
every day makes the hair glossy? Sir? Have you seen
(20:36):
miss Culpepper? Have I? Why do you think I'm brushing
my two pey? Mister Hart's, I thought she was doctor
Tweety's secretary. She is. You should have seen Tweety chasing
her down the hall. Mister Pott's. I sat to miss
Colepepper the doctor Tweety for a little talk. Now she's
(20:59):
his secretary. Yeah, as Tweety is a brilliant conversationalist. And
now brace yourself, mister Potts. I just saw miss Cldpepper.
Which way did you go? She was driving a brand
new convertible and wearing a mink coat. Oh, I bet
she looked gorgeous. So she was honest enough to inform
(21:19):
me that doctor Tweety gave them to her. Tweety gave
her a mink coat and a convertible. That's terrible. Why
he can't do that, not on the salary I pay him?
How well? I know? Or tweety s couldn't have given
her those things. Where would he get his hands on
that much money? Mister Pottson doesn't tweety administer the funds
for the student council? Of course, yes, he keeps the
(21:42):
cash in his office, But I have complete faith in
his integrity, and honestly, we'd better go check you sent
for him, spots tweety, my old friend. Yeah, have a chair. Well,
(22:05):
thank you, mister Bodz. You look so kind and benevolent.
Are you sick? Yes, tweety, I'm sick at heart at heart.
Someone near and dear to me has stabbed me in
the back. How is missus? Potts Please? What I have
(22:27):
to do is unpleasant enough. Don't bring her? Oh I'm sorry.
A beautiful young woman here on the campus has recently
acquired a mink coat and convertible. Yeah, some men gave
them to her. Oh, dear lord, sum of money is missing.
I'm in a terrible spot, tweety. Oh dear, why did
you do it? Mister pots tweety, I'll put it bluntly, Yes,
(22:49):
the money is missing from your office. The young woman
I referred to with the mink coating convertible is your secretary.
She said you gave them to her. Me why am
I laughing tweeting my old friend. You're not the first
man to make a fool of himself over a woman. Now,
of course it might not have happened if you'd had
as much experience as I've had. What about missus Potts?
(23:18):
That was my bitterest experience. So I stand accused. Oh
Shakespeare's head, this is the most unkindest cut of all
all my life. I've tried to be straightforward and completely honest,
and now a large sum of money is missing from
your office. Mister Potts. It's beneath me to stand here
and deny your insinuations. You needn't bother to ask for
(23:40):
my resignation. I quit good days just the moment, tweety.
You can't quit. Why it's going to take you two
years of working for nothing to pay back that missing money?
Missing money my foot. I remember exactly what I did
with it. I had it on my desk and I
was counting it, and then Miss Culpepper asked me if
her seams were straight. They weren't, and she straightened them,
and then I had to start counting all over again.
(24:03):
Did you know that skirts this year alone and back
and high in front go on tweety, This is getting good.
I spotted counting the money all over again. And then
Miss Culpepper asked me if I thought nies had personalities,
how could that money disappear? I had my eye on
(24:24):
it all the time, or did I I'll go hunt
for it. Goodbye. Stop with you are, doctor tweety. Well,
you and I have some unfinished business. Oh, colonel, I
meant to tell you I straightened out Miss Culpepper's problem.
Now I've got one of my own. Mister Potts thinks
I gave her mink coat is a convertible. He told
(24:46):
me you gave them to him. Oh she did. Where
is miss Culpepper? There's no hurry to find a doctor tweety, Yes,
there is no. Besides, it's bad luck to see your
bride before the wedding. My bride before the I've got
I don't company, don't know. Oh yes, Tweedy, you lucky dog.
(25:06):
Miss Colepepper is a Southern gentlewoman. And in the South,
when a man gives a woman I mean coat, his
intentions are honor. But my intentions of minister will be
here any minutes. I don't get dispoge in my pocket
it's my cueling pistol. Oh no, a jeweling pistol. Wedding Gweedy,
that's made the first congratulator. I'll answer it. Hey, hell
(25:31):
not the free will. It means that I'm ready to go.
Oh yes, Willie, I can't talk to you now. I'm
in a lot of trouble. Yes, and you're the same
doctor treated maybe days a bit whoever, We discussed that later,
will he I fine feeling. I know why you're in trouble.
Don't have shocked you, muscle whatever you know, keep it quiet.
The sink's full of dirty dishes. Go home and wash them.
(25:53):
And here's the key. Yes, I'm glad you did me
this job. Well, I didn't expect you to stand me
twenty eight hundred dollars. I was trained fair. You know.
If there's an inflation, I love it. Twenty eight hundred.
But I only sent you ten dollars. Ten dollars make
the biggest pile. See look at all these doctor if
(26:16):
the green echens, yeah, tweeting that must be the missing money.
Then you didn't take it. Of course I didn't take it,
and I've been wounded to the quick by the ass
persions you cast about my affy. You know, I I
just know that money had something to do with the trouble.
(26:37):
He was there. Yes, Miss Komfort forgot me confused while
I was counting it, and I must have sent it
to Willie beasup I mistake, Tweedy bees, accept my deep
bow of apology. Yeah up, here's your two payment spots.
He had, he had the money, doctor Sweedey, I got it,
(26:58):
would love it a hole eight hundred dollars. Oh, and
as for your insinuations, colonel. Without the money, I couldn't
have purchased those gifts from Miss Culpepper. He's right, Colonel,
oh tweeted. It was one watching you squirm. God, the
tweet is shirm. You could have thought those gifts on credits. Yeah,
he's right, you could have now just a minute. Nobody
(27:19):
would give me credits. They know I worked for mister Potts,
except except my most humble apologies, doctor tweet in. But
who else has been paying attention to Miss Culpepper? Who
could afford it? Yes, mister Potts, didn't you tell me
you were brushing your twope on Miss Culpepper's behalf? Excuse me,
(27:52):
I shouldn't remember an urgent board meeting, mister Potter. This
port in my pocket is a jeweling pistol. You're I'm
gonna have a little talk about this talk Whee tweetie,
get me out of there. He thinks that eats mister
pepper tweety say something. Please, mister pots let me be
(28:13):
the first to congratulate you. This is the United States
Time Forces Radio Service, the Voice of Information and Education
(29:21):
d
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