08-08-25 He Said She Said -- Is Beauty In the Eye Of the Beholder OR Is Beauty About the One You Be Holdin'?

Episode Transcript

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Speaker 4 (04:12):
The following program contains course language and adult themes. Listener
and discretion is advised. Welcome everyone to another episode of

(04:53):
he said. She said, I am one of your hosts
for this evening, and my awesome co host is with
right now. How are you doing, Rick.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
I'm the nameless facefolest ones. No one, nobody's here to
see me. They're not here for you. So no, they're
not here for you. They don't even like me. They're
here for you. It's okay though. So now the Rock
does free video. I'm considering seeing if I can have it,
make some sort of a cool video of us dancing

(05:22):
to that music and make it the intro video for
the show.

Speaker 4 (05:26):
Oh no, oh no, no, no. I you know everybody
has been asking, hey, why don't you do why don't
you do you know, a video of your your PfP
avvy whatever you know, the avatar, whatever you want. I'm like,
I'm literally laying in bed. The last thing I need
to do is put this live. No, that's not happening.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Seem even agreed with me, he said, true words have
never been spoken. So see, they are here for you.
They don't even like me.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
But anyway, I have seen some of those videos, and
some are pretty funny and some are pretty pretty neat,
and I like the ones that are like cartoonified before
they're made into videos. I think Roddick actually does those.
And he did one with me and my was up
and I had glasses that I was drinking and it

(06:27):
didn't look anything like me. But people said, oh, no,
that that looks totally like you, and I'm like, no,
it does not, y'all. My nose is a lot round there,
My eyes are deep, deep, deep, like almost black. They're
so dark brown you can't even see the pupil. And
my hair is a lot greyer.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
What You're still the hottest of the two hosts on
the show?

Speaker 4 (06:58):
Okay, maybe maybe not. It all depends on you know,
who's looking at you. Which was a nice you know theme.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Well, yeah, you know. I had to rid neckfire the
title a little bit because you know, it's it's the
age old question. Is beauty in the eye of the beholder?
Is it all about the one you beholden?

Speaker 4 (07:16):
Nice? But it has it. I mean, seriously, it's a
chicken or the egg question because you just don't know.
And what I happen to find attractive most women would
not what most women find attractive. I happen to and

(07:40):
that's kind of echy to me. It's really weird. I'll
be the first admit Brad Pitt Nope, never thought he
was good looking. I have never thought Brad Pitt was
looking good looking. And he holds the record for the
largest selling poster of all time, which is from Legends

(08:01):
of a Fall. That's how far back it went. So
I'm like, yeah, no, his eyes are too close together,
his jaws kind of weird, his teeth don't really no, no,
there's not no, just no. But you know that's me.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's a whole anthropology thing again. You're like, your skull,
I can't do this is not pretty enough.

Speaker 4 (08:24):
I know, I know, but you know, but I take
that aside because I know a lot of people find
his ex wife Angelina and Julie to be absolutely stunning.
But there's also a section of men that I have
heard that think she looks like a flat faced fish.
And I'm like, wow, okay, So that was one of

(08:47):
the things that I did with my my niece. Has
you know, she bought the whole Adobe photoshop thing whatever
a while back, and I said, you know, bringing up
Angelina Julie's and and do a symmetrical you know, uh,
you know, gauge her symmetry, and she is one of
Her face is one of the most symmetrical out there,

(09:07):
which is why people are so drawn to it. Until
you turn it sideways the profile, then the profile, it's
like a flat fish. It's really weird. It's really strange.
But you know, she is a very beautiful woman, but
some men just don't think that she's all that. So, yeah,

(09:29):
it depends.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
I think I think we've uncovered the secret. She's part
alien in her part of her DNA is suckerfish could be.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
I mean, I you know, at this point, with certain
having been you know, brought online a while back, I
put nothing outside of the realm of possibility.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
Nothing funny thing is according to some articles that I've
been reading, Cern is actually in communication with in her
dimensional beings. Now, So I don't, I don't, I don't know,
I don't know anything.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
Does no one watch like movies anymore? Has no in
the entire science fiction genre called it almost everything that
has happened, and we're still like, oh yeah, let's do it,
you know, the whole Just because you can't doesn't mean
you should has been thrown out the window completely.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah I did. I don't know. I don't know why
they do half the things you're doing anymore. But yeah, anyway,
But you.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
Know, aside that, our topic for tonight is the ever
present question of beauty, and it was brought I guess
it was brought to the flour because of what happened
with the Sydney Sweeney American Eagle ad. Because there were
a lot of women. I did not find a single guy,

(10:52):
gay or straight that said she was ugly. I'm sure
there are some guys that think she's okay, she's mid
or whatever, but no one out no male outright said
she was ugly. Flip it over to the female side,
I found plenty. I found a lot. And you know,

(11:12):
as I would look at their you know, profile picture,
and I would scour their social media to see, you know,
kind of stuff they posted and all that stuff, there
was a certain pattern that was being established. A lot
of them did lean towards being liberal, for one, some

(11:36):
of them extremely so, but a lot of them actually
did like to post their own visage on social media.
And it wasn't just Twitter. I looked at this at
Facebook and Instagram as well. They and Instagram I don't
think really counts because that's actually for you to post

(11:59):
your cell phone. So I really didn't count much of that.
But over on Facebook, I would see a lot of
acquaintances that do tend to vote blue, tend to be
more blue than red, tend to post a lot more
facial you know, stuff and everything, and it doesn't I mean,

(12:22):
it's like you. They'll be talking about they bought a
new scarf, for example, they don't put the picture of
the scarf. They put a picture of themselves wearing the scarf.
So the scarf is actually secondary because it's around their neck,
and if you look at the pictures centrally, it's their face,
it's not the scarf. So it was that kind of

(12:45):
you know that I saw, and a lot of them.
Some of them were pretty ladies, some of them were
not that pretty, you know, and some of them actually
took the steps to It's hard for me to say,
but they they tried to erase their beauty by doing

(13:07):
things to their face in order to detract from it,
you know, multiple piercings, there were some that had tattoos
on their faces. There were some that had there were
quite a few that had to dye hair, admittedly, but
some were not dyed in weird colors. But you know,

(13:27):
there was definitely a pattern going on. Now. I did
see some right wing gals that actually thought she wasn't
all that great, But there was no vitriol coming from
the right as much as it was from the left.
That were a few right wing accounts that did a
lot of them tend to be bigger accounts that professed

(13:50):
to try to preserve conservatism, but you and I would
call them drifting accounts, you know, And so they took
issue with it. But you know, I took a step
back and I was like, if this had been my daughter,
I'd be very proud of the fact that she has

(14:11):
made a career and has established herself so well. I'd
be proud of the fact that my jeans contributed to
that face. You know, no but intended. But you know,
there were a lot of people that were just not

(14:32):
embracing the fact that this young woman actually put herself
out there and she took a chance because she knew
that she would get heat for this, and still she said, yes,
let's do this. And I admire that. Today I found
out that Lizzo actually did a lampoon of Sydney Sweeney

(14:53):
and she was wearing jeans and a jean shirt or something,
and she said, my jeans are black, and I'm like,
you know, had her jeans been black, that would have
been good. It would have been good, but they weren't.
They were blue, So huh.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
I said, the problem is she was wearing blue jeans.
All right, so this has to be done. We interrupt
this program for the following message because I just saw
that he reposted the stream and he likes to lurk
in the chat. BCVC did, Sorry, Vinton, Charles likes to
just work and repost the chat, so every time I
see that, I do that. I don't know why.

Speaker 4 (15:36):
He's just a sweetheart, but yeah, I saw I saw
Liza's response and I gotta give Lissa some some props here.
She has been working on losing weight and everything, and
that's great. And you know, I've seen pictures from when
she was younger she was. I think she's a very
pretty pretty lady. I've never felt that she didn't have

(16:01):
good looking, a good looking face. I always thought that
she was very cute and she's very talented. I will
not detract from her talent. That woman can play upteen
different instruments. She is a very well established floutest in
her own right. She chooses to do rapping, you know

(16:24):
or whatever, that's fine, but she is a very well
established zation and she has proven that, so I cannot
take that away from her.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
So just to make sure floutest isn't a euphemism, right.

Speaker 4 (16:38):
It's not. I mean, I remember when she played the
glass flute and everybody was up in arms about it.
I'm going so you would rather see that thing get
just collect dust than it being played by someone who
knows how to play a flute. I didn't understand the
whole uproar over it. I thought that it was kind

(16:59):
of cool that she actually showed her talent using an
instrument that is that most of the public didn't even
know existed, and it brought attention to some an historical
fact that most people would have, you know, gone to
their graves not ever knowing. So I think I think
what she did was really cool, you know, and and

(17:21):
and she did, she played it, she killed it. So
but doing this ad when she puts herself out there
and yes, you go, girl, you're losing weight. I'm very
proud of you, But there was a pun in the
original ad that she missed out on, and had she

(17:44):
worn the black jeans, it would have been perfect. But
they just they can't seem to actually.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
Grasp its things that are fairly consistent about the left.
They can't meme when they're not punny. I understand why
they missed it.

Speaker 4 (18:00):
That, Yeah, that's that's pretty much true. And I mean
there's some people on the left that obviously do have
a sense of humor, birth breathe that actually comes to mind,
you know, bloom County, but there's not a lot no
that said. You know, we were discussing the fact that,

(18:21):
you know, Liza did this thing, and I was in
another chat group with some of my girlfriends and I
happened to say, you know, Liza is a pretty lady.
She really is, and when she's not wearing a hefty bag,
she looks really nice. And the girls said, because she said,

(18:44):
she said, I just can't get past how crass she is,
so I never see her face. I always just see
her attitude. And that was eye opening too, because that
is something else that a lot of people look for

(19:04):
that attracts them to another person. The first thing that
you see is the physical attributes of the person. That's
the first thing that attracts you to that person. And
that's where the whole beauty in the eye of the
beholder comes in. I mean, we are programmed to actually
seek out the beauty you want to see those jets

(19:25):
pass down to your children, you know, that kind of thing.
But what I think is pretty is not what already
thinks it's pretty, And it's not what you think it's pretty,
and it's not what Danielle thinks it's pretty. See, So
it's it's all different. I mean it's and it's all
part of a design because if we all thought one
thing was pretty, we'd all be finding for the same thing, right,

(19:46):
So I think it's kind of neat that. I mean, seriously,
everybody jokes about me and seeing a guy and killed
get a kilt, and I'm like, I don't care what
the guy looks like as long as he's wearing killed.
I'm like, totally there. I am very happy. I am
so I cannot tell you how happy I am. One year,

(20:08):
I was at a military ball and we were hosting
a gentleman from Scotland. He was actually at the post
that we were stationed at, and you know, it was
kind of an exchange type of thing. And so he

(20:28):
goes to the military ball and he's wearing his kilt
full regalia, and I am looking at this man the
entire time. My girlfriend's sitting next to me and it's like,
what is so what what do you keep looking at?
And I didn't care who was with me, said, I
pointed straight to him, and I said him, he is beautiful.

(20:50):
The guy was not a good looking guy. No, he wasn't.
I mean she was looking at him, going, you think,
so he's okay, But I don't think he's all that handsome,
I said. I didn't say handsome, I said beautiful. Look
at what he's wearing. And she's like a skirt, like
oh my god. It's like I was so embarrassed. You

(21:13):
know what my husband did?

Speaker 1 (21:14):
What is your husband?

Speaker 4 (21:16):
My husband got up and went to talk to him
because he knew him, and asked him to ask me
to dance because I was dying. And so he came
over and he asked me to dance, and I had
a lovely time. And I told him straight off, and
I said, I have been staring at you because you
were killed, and to me, that is the be all
and end all. I told him straight up to his

(21:38):
face and he started laughing. He was like, I was
very surprised that your husband came to get me to
ask you to dance. And it's like, oh no, my
husband knows my weakness, trust me. It's it's it. This
has been going on since I was like twelve.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, and it started yesterday, is what you're saying.

Speaker 4 (21:57):
Ah, yeah, I wish, but you know it's it's always
been that way. The running joke in my family is
a quasi boa, we're wearing a kilt. I would totally
take them totally, no questions asked. But to me, you
know that that is something that attracts me to the
opposite sex is you know that wearing of that regalia

(22:20):
is just to me and very attractive. The guy doesn't
have to be Tom Cruise, he doesn't have to be Okay,
if you were Henry Cavill, I'd be totally down with it.
Not gonna lie, but you see, I mean we are
we are programmed. There is something in our genetics that

(22:40):
are programmed to actually seek out what we find as beautiful,
and we're attracted to that beauty first. Afterwards we start
looking for the inner workings of that beauty because, as
everybody knows, I see, it's fine, but cake is where
it's at. So you want to have the the you know,

(23:03):
the inside be as good, if not better than the outside.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
For me, I'm actually I guess one of the aberrations
because I always pay more attention to the inside than
the outside.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
Honestly, Well that's how, that's how. But we we tend
to start shifting that way as we grow older, as
we mature, we actually understand, you know, beauty is fleeting.
It isn't a permanent thing. It's something that it is enhanced.
But what's inside you cannot really enhance unless you're you know,

(23:35):
outright lying to somebody. So that's where as we mature,
we start shifting our focus to you know, the you know,
the way they think, the things they like, how their heart,
you know, their kindness, you know, all all of those
things are that's what attracts us to people. And that

(24:00):
is something that I am so glad my husband saw
because I know you all joke saying, oh no, you're
very pretty, blah blah blah, But no, y'all, you have
no idea growing up with three other sisters that were beautiful.
I mean, I had a One of my sisters was
actually in the running for seventeen magazine the year that

(24:21):
Kathy Ireland got it. She came in. She was a
semi five. My sister was a semi five finalist. So
you know, it's it's just it's.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
Like that, Oh whatever, you're still beautiful, and Danielle, some
of us would like to know the answer to that
question too, and if so, we want pictures.

Speaker 4 (24:38):
Yeah, I would, I'll pay back. Oh, speaking of those jeans,
my sister actually went out of her way to go
find an American Eagle and she bought a pair of
the Sydney jeans. They're not even in her size. She
didn't care because they went the money goes to charity.
She just wanted to do that for charity. So I'm like, well,
what size are they and she said, I think she

(25:03):
said fourteen sixteen, I don't know what it was. And
I said you can have them tailored and she's like no,
I'm just I just want to have I just wanted
to own them. I just wanted my money to go
to charity. And I was like okay, and then she
caused me like two hours later, you know what, maybe

(25:23):
I can't get them tailored. She's just a couple of
sases down from there. And I was like, you know what, whatever,
you know, but her daughter went insane. And her daughter
is like a slip of a girl. I mean, she's
really tiny, very elephant, and she was online and she

(25:45):
wanted by they're all sold out ar sizes. She is
just bereft. And her you know, my sister, her mother
said well, I would give you these, but they'd actually
you'd fit in one leg as it is, so it'd
be like a skurt.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
Be like, wait, does somebody say screw just kidding?

Speaker 4 (26:11):
Yes? Is it plaid?

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Uh? Just explained so much of the g thing though,
because he was always talking about having his killed on
when he was showing you guys the picture of his abs.
So now I get even more about why you were
always like, oh my god.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
I I mean I remember when he posted that picture
where he was all ripped and everything, and I was like,
holy crap. But you know what, as much as I
admired it, because it was a lot of it took
a lot of work, a lot of hard work for him.
To look the way he did. It was it's not
something that I'm attracted to. If somebody has a lot

(26:48):
of muscles going on and everything, that actually does not
look pretty to me because it's not natural strong man
the strong man body type that's natural that looks attractive
to me. But you know, I'm I'm going to be
turning fifty nine this year, So what I think is attractive,
it's some twenty nine year old. It's not going to

(27:10):
think it's attractive, you know. So, like I said, it
just it just depends on the age, rage, it depends
on it actually even depends on the culture. I can
tell you. Going back to Puerto Rico, it amazed me
constantly that every single woman that I knew that dyed

(27:31):
her hair blonde, every guy thought she was beautiful. And
I just thought she looked cheap because she's dyeing her
dark hair blonde. But every guy in my hometown thought,
you know, the blondes were the most beautiful women, even
though it came from a bottle. And I was like, no,
it doesn't look good.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
That was the era of blondes have more fun though,
so that doesn't no.

Speaker 4 (27:56):
And it's still and it's still something that's there. It's
still something that's going on her. My sisters actually went
on a trip several years ago and one of my
sisters actually had blonde streaks in her hair. And some
of the people that we grew up with were like,

(28:17):
your hair is gorgeous, Oh my gosh. You know, why
don't you just go completely blonde? And my sister decided
to do it, and she went completely blonde, and you know,
and her husband will let her do whatever, you know,
whatever keeps her happy. And I just I looked at
it and I said, this looks so wrong. She doesn't

(28:37):
have the coloring for blonde hair. She just doesn't. So
I was like, yeah, that, And but I had to
be kind. I said, you know it is. I like
how natural it looks in the hair. It's not one
solid color, but it washes you out. It really does
you need to be more dark. And she's like, yeah,

(28:57):
you're right. And thank god she said that, because otherwise
she would have thrown a chankle at me. I know,
she would have all the way from Puerto Rico.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Bite your tongue, amish.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
But you know, when she went blonde while she was
in Puerto Rico, everybody was like, wow, you know, you
look so great, you look wonderful, you look you look studying.
Blah blah blah blah. These are the same people that
saw her a week before with dark carots said nothing.
So it's just it's really strange, you know, when it

(29:30):
comes like, like I said, culture does have something to
do with it. I was. I lived in Germany for
three years. Could not understand why it was that so
many young German men preferred women who were completely like

(29:51):
their hair was like it looked like different colors and
spiky and you know, and all that stuff, and they
just thought that that was that was their definition of beauty.
I had. There were three young ladies that lived right
down from me. My German friend had three daughters, and
so that's how they would style themselves. And they would

(30:14):
pierce things and wear chains from their nose to their ear,
and I thought, are you bajorn or what the hell's
going on? But you know, nobody understood my reference. And
then you know, they would they would pierce their their
eyebrows and their ears and you know, one of them
actually pierced her arm so it had safety pins running

(30:40):
down like she had like five or six safety pins
running down her her the her bicep, you know, And
I was like, that can't be comfortable. She's like, well,
after a while, you don't feel it. They all had
pierce snipples. I did not want to see. I just
took their word for it. And that was a definition
of beauty that I did not understand. But it was

(31:01):
very popular in Germany. I don't know if it still is,
but it was back then. So it just depends, you know,
when it comes to beauty, it depends on cultural norms,
social mores, you know that kind of thing. I mean,
I studied a lot of African cultures and their definitions

(31:23):
of beauty were completely different than you know, Puerto Rico's
definitions of beauty. So that has a lot to do
with it too.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
Oh dang, I've been sitting here talking away and forgot
I was muted. I called for a second and went
to mute, and then forgot about mute. I was making
a salient point too, and now I forgot what it
was because I got all flustered.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
Anyway, See already, I agree Lonnie Anderson looked better as
a brunette than she did as a blonde, but she
made her mark as that blonde, and she stayed that
platinum blonde forever, and it was it's a pity, Angie Dickinson.
There's another one. She was gorgeous as a brunette, but

(32:15):
then came policewoman and she went blonde, and she stayed
blonde for a very long time.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
So looking for new co host any takers?

Speaker 4 (32:27):
Me?

Speaker 1 (32:29):
No, me? Why how dare you disparage blonde Lonnie?

Speaker 4 (32:35):
I'm not disparaging her. I'm just saying that she looked
better as a brunette than she did as a blonde.
She didn't look bad as a blonde. Okay, fine, whatever,
just easing.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
But no, it's funny because I was, you know, and
I talked about this a little bit the other day
when I was waiting on the tech to get here
the other day because he was supposed to come out Tuesday,
and I didn't realize he got hung up on another job.
But he didn't tell me until pretty late in the day,
so I started. I turned on on Paramount Plus. I'm sorry.
It was actually on Prime. They had a documentary about

(33:10):
the fifty fifth anniversary of Star Trek, and it actually
opened with the whole Desilu story, and there are a
couple of things in there that I didn't know. One
I did not know Lucille Ball was not a natural redhead. No,
she was not, but dying even though most of her
TV work was done in the black and white era, somebody,
one of her agents in the beginning of her career,

(33:31):
convinced her to dye her hair of that color and
she got noticed by everybody. So she just it stayed
that way.

Speaker 4 (33:38):
Yeah, and I mean that happens too. I've I've found
people who I actually have a friend who's a natural brunette,
but she looks better as a blonde, like she has
blonde coloring. One of my favorite accounts here Cat Domestic
Ceo Cat she's actually blonde, but she looks better as

(34:01):
a redhead. She has red coloring. So it depends on
your coloring. Sometimes you're just not You're not born with
the right coloring to match your hair. I mean, I
have dark brown hair, well, I had dark brown hair.
Now it's streaked with a lot of gray. But I

(34:22):
don't know if you guys remember when I dressed up
as Genetly in Psycho, I had a blonde wig on
and I looked horrible. I mean that blonde just looked
awful on me, and so you can you can understand
why whenever I see an Hispanic woman in Puerto Rico
being blonde, unnaturally blonde, it just it irks me because

(34:43):
it just doesn't match their skin tone, it doesn't match
their coloring. It drives me nuts, tell you the truth.
But you know what. One of my best friends from Gee,
she's been my friend since ninety one. She's a natural blonde,
but her coloring favors red hair. More so, she has

(35:07):
dyed her hair red for a very long time, and
slowly she's let she has let her gray come back out,
and so now the gray is out. But as the
gray grows, her naturally blonde hair has been turning brown.
So it's she, she says, I have no idea what's
going on. I was like, I couldn't. I couldn't tell you,

(35:33):
but you know, it just did. I guess it depends
on your coloring. Some people can get away with it,
obviously I cannot. I tried coloring my hair once. It
was chocolate cherry, and I can tell you right now
I stayed in my house for weeks until I could
get most of that out.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
Oh you said, it was called the hair color was
called on again.

Speaker 4 (36:03):
It was called chocolate cherry. And my next door neighbor
actually kind of conveiented getting it done because she had
she had an auburn color going on with her hair
and she was a brunette, but she kind of liked
the auburn look or whatever, and she said, this was

(36:23):
a great on you. And I'm like, okay, this is
when the grays started to show up, but had like
maybe five or six grades. It wasn't that big a deal.
This was several years. This was in two thousand.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
Wait, you knew five or six aliens really gray hairs.

Speaker 4 (36:39):
And so I went and I had it done, and
I was like, what the hell did I just do?
And it was permanent, and I just I had to
wait several weeks before I could go have it corrected.
And so I just stayed home and whenever I had
to go grocery shopping, I would put my hair up
and wear a hat. I wore a cap all the time.

(37:03):
And I mean I sent a picture to my sister.
I took a picture of my camera. I developed it
because I had one of those little developing things, you know,
was when the SD card cameras came out and I
said to my sister, She's like, what did you do?

(37:27):
It was really bad, I think. I bet she still
has that picture too, and she's waiting to just use
it on some you know, some day.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Yeah, but it'll be it'll be a blackmail moment.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
Anyway. Moving away from me, the concept of beauty, like
I said, it's been something that we are geared to
actually go towards. It's part of the whole procreational process.
You see it in the Kingdom animalia all the time.

(38:04):
All of the male birds have beautiful, vibrant plumage. The
females do not, because the male birds are trying to
attract the females. The females that are going, oh he's pretty.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
And it's funny how that's different for us, because I've
always found that interesting are the ones that are like
super like, got extra plumage, pretty plumage, multiple colors, do
all this strutting and the dancing and whatever, and the
chicks just sit back. I'm like, I'm kind of glad
I'm not a bird. That's a lot of work.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
It is a lot of work, I mean, and it's
not just birds. I mean, look at the the bucks
and the does. I mean, the dough is cute, but
the buck he's got of going on with that rack.
He's the one with the rack. That was kind of
unfair unless you're a reindeer.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
Reindeer, yeah, reindeer they both have, which I thought was
I never I never knew that until later in life.
So I always thought that was kind of weird, like wait,
what now? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (39:14):
Yeah, but you know that the entire I guess animal kingdom,
I don't know. I you see it with do you
see it with fish? I don't think so fish are different.
But you know, mammals usually the male is more attractive
looking than the female. I could I before I couldn't

(39:38):
tell you where the male beaver and the female beaver were.
Now that I've had to deal with them, I can
tell what which one was the male by the the
tail and the and the fur.

Speaker 6 (39:53):
Uh so.

Speaker 4 (39:55):
His is I don't know how to describe it. It's
it's it's more resplend I have no idea. It's darker.
But you know, like I said, they have to. You know,
the males always have to track the females. It's the grackles.
I love watching the grackles when when it's time for

(40:16):
them to actually start the mating thing, because and crows
crows to crows when they start, the male crow fluffing
up and everything. That is just so cute to me.
And of course, you know, I'm watching the female going, yeah,
you're not good enough flying away. It's kind of cold,

(40:39):
but it's true. But you know, I guess they call
it what peacocking is that what it's is that the
term now where men actually are now doing the same
as women. They dress to impress and they dress to
triumph get the attention of women. And I'm I'm like,

(41:00):
I never had to deal with that when I was
growing up. I never dealt with guys that were peacocking,
so to speak. Now, there were guys that, you know,
adhere to the the fashion norms of the day. Parachute pants,
just throw one out there, and you know, back in

(41:25):
the eighties, but I never saw the whole peacocking thing.
I see it more now, which is kind of weird
to me, and I don't understand it.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
I never really have either. I don't know. I've decided
I'm too old for this, so I've kind of just
checked myself out of all of it. After a couple
of a couple of times of trying the dating scene again,
I was like, you know what, it's all too weird
for me now. I just I can't Nope, I'm done.

Speaker 4 (41:59):
No, I have I have several friends in my a
trange who are single who are like done. They're like,
you know what, they either tried the marriage thing and
it didn't work out, or their spouse you know, passed away,
and they're like, I don't want to do this again,
and they're concentrating more on finding something that interested. I'm

(42:24):
outside of human interaction, which is fine. You know that
you can get lonely. I have by y'all. Remember Charlie,
my friend, the one who was my first kiss and
the two weeks later he came out as gay. He
and his husband they're moving to France. He sent me

(42:47):
a message and say, hey, Tony and I are moving
to France. Uh, and we were wondering if you would
be interested in, like, you know, being our pen pal
or some because you know that I like writing letters.
And I'm like, yes, I am so totally there. So
they're actually now starting to organize everything. They're downsizing things,

(43:07):
they're putting some things in storage, and then they're going
to be moving completely over to France, so they have
to get their work visas, they have to get all
that stuff done. They're actually all of their work is
remote anyway, so they can live in France. It still
work here in the United States, but because it is France,
you do have to pay taxes regardless of where your
work is at. So that's why they need to get

(43:29):
all of that situated. They've found a place, they've done this,
they've done that, And of course, me being me, I
asked Charlie, well, how is the gay situation? Where are
you going to be living now? He understood what I
was asking. I wasn't asking if there were, you know,

(43:54):
gay baths or anything like that. What I was asking
was that have you check to see if there are
accommodations for same sex marriage, because even though it's legal
in France, there are certain areas in France that don't
particularly like it because of the population that has moved

(44:19):
into these certain areas. So that's what I was asking him,
and he said, yeah, we checked it out. It's actually
fine there there is you know, he's his husband is
more scared about what Trum's going to do or whatever,
and there's no reasoning with him, so I just leave

(44:41):
him alone. But for the most part, they're all very
excited about moving over there. And one of the things
that struck me was that I remember when we were
in high school, Charlie telling me that his lifelong dream
would be to live in France. That was his dream,
and for him to have found the spouse that was great.

(45:02):
But for them both to actually want to live that
dream is amazing to me, and that for me was
true beauty because they're finally moving ahead there. You know,
they found the beauty within each other, and now they're
finding a beauty outside of that, unified as one that
they can work towards. And that's another step I think

(45:24):
in finding what's beautiful to you, So it doesn't always
have to be something that's physical. It can be an
emotional manifestation, and it could be a goal. It can
be you know, finally working on that stupid list of
things to do before you dial list, you know, And

(45:45):
I have found beautiful things when I have worked on
my list that I did not expect. So, you know,
I have a lot of friends that don't understand I
have absolutely no problem being in the desert. But a

(46:05):
lot of people do because they think that there's nothing there.
And I'm like, that's because you're not looking. You're never
looking at what's in the desert. And it's like, it's
just a bunch of rocks and I'm going, you have
no idea what's living under those rocks, do you? Now? Admittedly,
I've been on I twenty between for Orth and Peko's

(46:27):
and I will say I'll be the first one to
say that is very solitary out there, and it is rocky,
and there is nothing out there, and it's still beautiful.
It looked like Mars I could have Sojourner actually landed
there instead of Mars. But there's still a certain beauty.
When you look at the pictures of Mars, there is
a certain beauty and that you could say, oh my goodness,

(46:49):
it's so desolate, and I'm like, yeah, but look at it,
the way nature has carved out that planet. I mean,
it's just to me, it's just it's gorgeous. It's beautiful.
So looking for beauty outside of the physical is you know,
once we get that point past maturity, we start looking

(47:09):
past the physical and everything. But there are some things
where the beauty of the physical beauty is the complete
manifestation of someone's talent, of someone's you know, work, and
and so that's it's okay to appreciate the physical as well.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
No, I mean completely. It's just funny because when you
were talking about those folks moving, I saw something today
and it kind of got me thinking. I don't remember
it was was one of the it was it was
one of the like the I think it was Holland
or someplace. They have such a glut of houses, like
in rural areas that are sitting empty that they're actually

(47:51):
trying to import people to come in. They'll give you
a million dollars to move there and then pay you
two thousand dollars a month for three years. Yes, with
all with all my work being remote, I was like,
I can move there for a million bucks.

Speaker 4 (48:04):
I don't I one of my friends from college, she's
seriously thinking about going to Italy and buying one of
the villas there and restoring it. And for her, it's
not about living there. For her, it's about restoring it
to it being pretty again. And she she like, I

(48:26):
mean some days she will be on a computer looking
at these things for like hours, and I'm like, hon,
you've got to just close it, disclose it. You're not
going to make your decision right now. But she's moving
towards making that decision, and for her, it's it hurts her.

(48:48):
She's an architect, by the way, so that should kind
of tell you. It hurts her to see these beautiful villas,
these country homes that have been there since before World
War One, just going just the Kinge and it just
it hurts her. And she's like, you know, they have

(49:08):
this program whereby you can buy it and if you
have to refurbish it within twelve months, you know, and
everything and all that stuff. But she wants to find
one that the town will buy back. So she wants
to put in the work, she wants to put in

(49:29):
the money and everything, and then sell it back to
the town. She doesn't want to sell it to somebody.
So that's one of the things that's holding her up
right now. But that's for her, the re establishment of
the beauty that was that for her is that's her
be all and end all when it comes to beauty,

(49:50):
and she cannot go buy a building without just looking
at it and criticizing it. It doesn't matter what the
building is. I don't care. She doesn't even care when
it was built. But she will actually stay. There's one building.
There's a building in Tyler. It's all cement. It looks

(50:11):
excuse me, it was I want to say, it was
built in the early seventies or so, when cement was
the big deal. But it's very brutalless. It's very communist looking.
She hates that building. It's now for sale and she's
seriously trying to talk her firm into purchasing that building.

(50:33):
And I, you know, I was like, why you hate
that building? She's like, I do, but if I get
my hands on that building, I can make it look prettier.
And I'm like, oh my god, you really have a
serious issue because she wants to say to every single
building that she sees, and you know, and I can't help.

(50:55):
And now every time I pass that building, I just
see the ugly of that building. That's and before I
used to see that. It was, you know, a certain
aesthetic from a bygone era that you know, most people
don't cotton to nowadays, but you know, back then, back

(51:16):
in the seventies, you know, remember everything it was made
out of concrete exposed concrete and everything and all that stuff,
you know, to make it look I don't know, make
it look hip or something. But for her, her big
passion in life is making things look beautiful again. And
for those wondering, she said, what I would call an

(51:37):
environmental architect. She likes to marry the building to the surroundings.
So if she is surrounded by pine, pine, piny areas
or whatever, she prefers the materials who actually echo the
wood that's harvested there. So she's very anal that thing.

(52:01):
But do you know, that's her version of beauty. Also,
she's never found a man to her liking or a
woman to her liking. She is just not a people person.
She likes friends, but she is very married to what
she does. And so she's she's told herself, yeah, I'm

(52:21):
never going to have a relationship. I don't have time
for it. So for she doesn't even look at a
person for any possibility. She doesn't look for that kind
of beauty. To her, we all look alike, we're all gray,
and we're named chet to her. Okay, So that's another
you know, that's an instance of a person who's aesthetic

(52:45):
falls away from the human condition completely. She's one of
the funniest people in open That is one of the
things that just I've never actually met somebody that can
just not have a relationship with a person on a
one to one basis. She's one of them. She just can't.

(53:06):
She just can't.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
Too much love to give me.

Speaker 4 (53:13):
I think it's more of the fact that she recognizes
that she doesn't have the time to give anybody. She doesn't.
She wants to do so many things that having a
person would actually hold her back, and she's never actually
recognized that maybe having a person, a personal relationship with

(53:34):
someone could actually incentivisor to do something that as grand
as going to Italy to redo one of the houses
or whatever it is that she wants to do. But
you know, we can't all think that way.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
I guess, yeah, I have a friend who's like that.
Really well, she got divorced around the same time that
I did, and she's always like, well, I'm just gonna
I'm just gonna stay single till I get my life
together again. I'm like, then you're gonna be single forever,
because if you're waiting for perfect, it's never gonna happen.

Speaker 4 (54:10):
No, And you know that. That's another thing. A lot
of people base their concept of beauty on a certain perfection,
but the perfection is never the same for anybody. Like
what I would consider to be perfectly beautiful, the guy
in the kilt. Some people would be like, my god,
why would you even look at this guy?

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Why do you have to think for a dude wearing
a dress?

Speaker 4 (54:36):
And I'm like, I'm not leaving looking at him. I'm
looking at his legs.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
This Justggie's a leg woman.

Speaker 4 (54:46):
I Ah, never skip leg day. People never skip leg.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
Day if you're looking, if you're looking for away in
Aggie's heart, nice legs and a good school.

Speaker 4 (54:59):
Yeah, oh man. But you know, like I said, there's
what some people find perfection in their beauty, in the
beauty that they seek is absolutely atrocious to somebody else.
Most people going back to the Sydney Sweenia and most

(55:22):
people think that this is a gorgeous woman. And I thought,
at first, she's, you know, like a she has a
chocolate prettiness. And what I mean by that is like
a candy, like the candy box, a box of candy,

(55:42):
that kind of prettiness. The more I learn about her,
the more I'm impressed and the prettier she becomes. So
I And it's the same thing with uh Chris Evans,
he played Captain America. Correct. I will say I don't

(56:06):
like his politics, but those are his politics, you know whatever.
But the more I learned about him and how he
grew up and his parents and everything, the more I
began to like him. I thought that he the more
attractive he became. A lot of people think he's attractive. Honestly,
I didn't think he was all that. He didn't. I didn't,

(56:30):
But that's because I'm fifty nine. Okay, I still would
date Sean Connery's carcass Okay, but yeah, probably. But you know,
the more I learned about how he grew up and
how his parents raised him, and you know, the things

(56:50):
that he respects, you know that, you know, all of
those things actually made him more attractive. And you know,
and the same can be said in the opposite way
when you know I. You know, Pedro Pascal. I never
thought he was good looking. I still don't. I don't

(57:13):
think he's a good looking man. But some women are
out there salivating over this guy. He seems to be
in every movie now, And.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Am I the only one who thinks he looks like
dirt dastardly from the cartoons.

Speaker 4 (57:26):
You are not. You are not the only one, because
the first time I saw Pedro, that's what I thought. Now,
Pedro grew up in the same area that I live
inack in San Antonio, so I was kind of familiar
with him before he made it big and everything. But
the more I learn about Pedro, the less I find
him attractive. It actually makes him look worse. And you

(57:53):
know that's he has certain issues. I'm Hispanic, okay, I
know that whole type chief feely thing in Hispanic circles
is a thing. And I get to enjoy it with
my Hispanic friends. I get to enjoy it my family.
I get to enjoy it back home whenever I'm Puerto Rico,
whenever I'm in Mexico with my Mexican friends, and everything
he goes far, he goes further than that, and that's problem.

(58:16):
He covers it up by saying, well, this is I
feel better because I'm Hispanic, and I'm like, no, that's
not it. I know what Hispanics do and that's not it. Yes,
and this is and you know, and somebody you know
called me out on It's like, how can you think
that way. You're Hispanic, you should know better. I'm like,
I do know better. That's the point. This is what

(58:39):
I'm trying to tell you. This is not the way
Hispanic men are. The Hispanic men that are like that
tend to be abusive. That has been my experience in
Puerto Rican culture, in Mexican culture, in other Hispanic cultures
that I've come across, like Cubans and such. So yeah,

(59:00):
I the more I learned about him, the less attractive
he becomes. And he wasn't attractive to me in the
first place. But I know some women that are like,
oh my god, he's beautiful, and I'm like, I don't
see it, but okay, you go girl whatever. Ron Perlman
is another perfect example. His was the first skull I

(59:21):
ever wanted in my collection. I'm not gonna lie. As
soon as I saw him in Beauty the Beast. Remember
the TV show?

Speaker 8 (59:30):
Oh yeah, I remember, well they did a you know,
they were doing a premiere or something or whatever, and
he was out there with Lynda Hamilton and I saw
that head and I was like, that skull is awesome.

Speaker 4 (59:46):
I can't get over it. I could not get over it.
I just thought to get a great skull. Okay, he's
not a good looking yet, but he has a great skull.
And you know, for a long time I was a
big fan. And it wasn't until the advent of social
media where you know, you saw them posting things and

(01:00:06):
you know, trying, you know whatever, reaching out to people
outside of interviews on Entertainment Weekly or Premiere Magazine or
whatever it was that they had back then. Then I
started learning more about him and it was just, you know,
he's not a nice person. He's not really all that.
He's not even smart. I yeah, no, okay, now I

(01:00:31):
don't want his call. That's how bad. That's how bad.
I don't want his call anymore. And that's saying a lot,
because his call is great, I don't want.

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
I don't want his skull anymore. Is probably the weirdest
sentence I've ever heard.

Speaker 4 (01:00:48):
But you know, like, and that's you know, that's the
trick about finding somebody attractive. This physical is first, then
comes the mental and the emotional, you know, and if
you're not satisfied with those two, that physical actually becomes
a detractor. And that has been my that has been

(01:01:10):
my opinion and my experience. I might be different for
somebody else, but the physicals, the icing, with the mental
and the emotional, those are the cake layers. And you know,
icing's just there for fluff, the true you know, the
the what you want is the cake. So that's you know,

(01:01:40):
I know it's it's I just don't want his skull anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
I don't know, ever ever since you told me that
somebody was giving you trouble on social media, but then
like you should know better, you're hispanic. I can't get
this out of my head. The first thing I thought
of was you and your head is scooch up and dah.

Speaker 4 (01:02:03):
Oh my god. Y'all, y'all know. My mom is here
right and she's staying with us for another week, an
extra week because my sister who was going to take
her back home she is she's still out of town,
so she's not been able to come and pick her up,

(01:02:24):
which is fine. Mom has been doing all sorts of
stuff in my garden. The problem is I'm the labor
She tells me what to do, so I'm the laborer,
and I'm like, at eight o'clock in the morning, I've
only had half a cup of coffee. And she has
me out there digging for weeks, and so today I

(01:02:49):
thought we had the day off. No, we went out
to get mulch okay, and I'm like, this woman is
trying to kill me. But I heard her on the
phone and she was yelling at somebody, and I'm like,
why is she yelling at somebody? I don't understand what

(01:03:10):
is she talking to? And she did say that it's
like she's mad at somebody. I don't want to know
what it is. She came inside and it was one
of my cousins. So I was like, okay, cool, everything's good.
If she's mad at one of my cousins, that's fine.
It could be one of a hundred. I don't know,
but you know whatever, But yeah, she's she's been a trooper,

(01:03:36):
and you know, she actually pade me a really cool
compliment the other day. I'm out there digging and I'm
out there yanked weeds, We repotted some plants, We did this.
We we actually replanted. We actually took some plants and
replanted them in another place because she thought they would

(01:03:59):
look better over there. And I'm like, you know, whatever
keeps her happy, Whatever keeps my mom happy and focused
because this is all new for her, having lost her
husband just to you know, two months ago. So almost
of the day tomorrow will be two months since my

(01:04:20):
dad passed, and so I'm trying to keep her focused
on what makes her happy. Well, the gardening makes her happy,
but I'm the one suffering. She has me out there anyway,
and she's digging and doing this and everything and all
that stuff. And after you know, we finished and the

(01:04:42):
sun got too strong, we came back inside and we're
chugging water and whatever, and she says, you know, you
do everything without complaint, and I'm so very proud of
the fact that you still think of me as your mom.
And my first thought was like, right now, I'm thinking

(01:05:05):
of you as my executioner. But I didn't say that,
and I was like, well, of course, I'm gonna stick
of you as my mom. I don't understand. It's like, no,
this is your house. You should be telling me what
you want me to do. And I'm like, absolutely not.
When it comes to the garden. You can do whatever

(01:05:26):
you want out there. I don't know how to. I
don't know how to take care of a garden the
way she does. Literally, I gave her a stick that
somebody had given me a plant, okay, and I brought
it home Christmas. It was a stick and a pot.
I thought she might like the pot, so I brought
it home. This was in college. It turned out to
be a rubber plant and she made it grow like

(01:05:48):
six feet and I was like, this is the plant.
This was the stick I brought you. It's like, oh, yeah,
I just needed you just needed to water it. That's
all you need to do. I'm like, no, you did
something else. I don't know if it was voodoo or something,
but she did something else, but that was you know.
That's another thing that a lot of people have found
attractive about my mom is that she is constantly doing

(01:06:10):
something for someone indirectly. They don't even notice until after
she's done it. Her neighbors, I mean, Mom will actually
make like too much of a meal, and she'll put
some in the freezer and then she'll take some to

(01:06:31):
the next door neighbor. And because the next door neighbor
is actually the acting the assistant chief of police or whatever,
she knows that sometimes he has night shift, and so
she'll go over there and say, hey, here's some food,
take up with you. So that you have lunch during
your night shift. She just does these little things for

(01:06:55):
everybody in the neighborhood. And I mean, I was just
there are days that when I was down there, I'll
get up at seven, Mom was already out of the house.
She was already running an errand down the street for somebody.
And that is something that I've always found to be
beautiful about my mom. She's always thinking about somebody else.

(01:07:17):
Every single one of my cousins, she always thinks about them,
and she knows all of their names, all of their birthdays,
their wedding anniversaries, how many kids they each have by now.
She knows all these things. She doesn't keep them written down.
These are all in her head and she's like, oh

(01:07:37):
today so and so so and says birthday. I need
to give them a call. And she will call them.
She will ask if they need anything, and some of
them will actually say, well, you know, we could do
with somebody, and my mom without question just since it.
And I'm like, okay, that you need to stop doing
because now you're able to fix income for one and

(01:07:57):
for another, these people have their own job. I took
that for a fact, so stop giving them money. But
she's you know, she's always done that. And when my
dad passed away, they all, you know, they were constantly calling.

(01:08:19):
All of my cousins were constantly calling my mom, you know,
to to talk to her, to see how she was,
if there was anything they could do, you know, that
kind of thing. And you know, I she brought us
up to be just like her. And so that's one
of the things that I like to do. I do
things for other people just because I want to, not

(01:08:40):
because they need it done, but just because I want to.
My neighbor, she's recently passed away, she would she had
multiple scrollsis. One of the things she had twin girls,
there were seven, and they loved legos. Hey, I found
I found my about the kids, you know with legos,

(01:09:01):
you know, but they didn't have a lot of legos.
My kids had tons of legos that they just didn't
play it with anymore. I mean, I'm talking a garbage
bag full of legos.

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
That's a lot of legos.

Speaker 4 (01:09:14):
That's a lot of legos. I just packed all that
stuff up and I just I actually divided everything by color,
not by size. I did color. Okay, So I had
several boxes, you know, several shoes, you know, those plastic
shoe boxes, and I wrote, you know the colors, you know,
and all that stuff and everything. And I went up

(01:09:35):
there and I said, I know that these are not
brand new, but they're still really cool, so you know,
enjoy them. And she was just in tears. She's like,
I couldn't even afford to give them a brand new
This is incredible. And I was like, no, don't think
anything of it. This is just stuff that was there.

(01:09:56):
I I don't need this stuff. I have my own
leg goes. And the girls you play with legos? I said,
oh yeah. So I spent the next two hours building
stuff with them because you know her mom, their mom
was sake. Yeah, she had multiple scilloses and she couldn't
actually do a lot. And so I you know, those

(01:10:18):
two hours and those girls were just above and beyond
so thrilled to have somebody to play like they would
you know, she would send me a message, the girls
want to know if you want to come up and
play legos. Oh I was. I was walking out of
here before that, you know, before I was I was,
as I was messaging, I'm on my way, I'm actually walking.

(01:10:38):
And so I would go up there and I would
play with them, and it was you know, it was
something so that I could give the mom a break
and she could rest and she could you know, do
those things. But I found joy in it because they
were making the girls happy and it was giving you know,
the mom a break and she could do things for

(01:11:00):
herself that she couldn't do, you know, while she was
entertaining the girls. And so it was a win win
for everybody. And you know that to me is something
that my mom gave me that I found to be beautiful.
That's part of my beauty and I will own it
because I know it's beautiful because I see it in
everybody else that does the same thing. So but that

(01:11:24):
is something that most people looking at me would not know.
I cannot possibly tie you off. And I have filled
the food bank. There's a little food you know those
little lending libraries. Yeah, well they have one that looks
like a little bigger it's a food bank. I actually
go there after dark so that people don't see me

(01:11:46):
and don't see my car, and I will fill it up.
And I would do this once a week until I
got caught. And so by getting caught, I mean that
one of my friends in town was actually driving by
and recognized my car when her lights saw it. So

(01:12:08):
she called me up and said, were you at the
little food Bake And I said, yeah, that was me,
And so she told her cousin who runs the antique
mall downtown, and so she told other people, and so
everybody found out that I had been the one that
had been filling it up, and so I said yeah.
And because of what I did, people started getting incentivized

(01:12:30):
to actually fill it up. So now people take turns
filling it up every week, and so that kindness has
spread to others, and you know, it's I found that
to be that brought out the beauty and other people,
you know. And you know, there was one time that
I that I had that I was stopping. I was

(01:12:53):
driving by and I saw a lady and she was
actually opening to take, you know, a can out, and
so I turned around and I came back because I
had just gone to the grocery store and she, you know,
she was looking at the can and she was like
debating whether or not she should take more, and I said, hi.

(01:13:18):
You know, it's like I said, are you taking and
she's like yeah, But I feel kind of bad. I
was like, no, don't feel bad. This is you know,
and so I grab you know, I said, this is
what it's for. And she's like, are you taking? And
I I saw that she wanted me to be taking

(01:13:39):
so that she wouldn't feel bad about taking, and I
said yes. I was looking to see if anybody had
donated any lentils or beans and there was one bag
of beans and she's like, oh, there's some beans. And
I said, oh, this is great, you know, it's you know,
and I told her it's like sometimes it's hard to

(01:14:01):
make against me, you know. And I was trying to
make her feel better. And she's like, yeah, I know.
Her husband had gotten laid off or something or whatever.
So we were talking and I said, you know what,
why don't you take the beans? You know how to
cook the beans right, And she's like, well yeah, and
it's like because they freeze really well. And I was

(01:14:24):
telling her. I told her a recipe that I found
that it's really cool. You know, you cook down the
beans with some ham and onion and you just let
it loose and then you can actually you know, freeze
it and all that stuff and blah blah blah and
she's like, you don't mind if I take the beans.
I said, no, no, I'll just I'll just check next time.
You know. I'm not in any hurry. I just was
I was going to can them anyway. I don't can

(01:14:47):
I don't, I don't can't. I was just telling her this,
and so she ended up taking the can. I think
it was a can of tomatoes and the beans, and
I said, you know, I said, if you more, you
can take more. She's like, no, I really feel bad.
And I said, but that's what it's there for. And
she's like, I know, but other people might need it

(01:15:09):
more than me. And I was like, I said, yeah,
I know, but sometimes we're the neediest people. And she's like, yeah,
that's true. And so she took some instant soup or
something and then she left and I was like, she
would have just taken a can of tomatoes had I
not actually gone out of my way to tell her, oh,

(01:15:33):
take things too, you know. But and sometimes people just
don't want to take charity. Sometimes people just feel really
bad because in their eyes it's it's it's not something
that looks pretty to other people, you know. And I'm like, no,
just charity is because we love our fellow man. We

(01:15:55):
want our fellow man to actually, you know, get a
hand up whenever they're down. So it is one side
of our beauty when we are charitable, when we want
to give of ourselves to other people. And I'm really
sorry if I'm talking a lot. No, obviously I have opinions.

Speaker 1 (01:16:17):
No, you're fine.

Speaker 4 (01:16:18):
No.

Speaker 1 (01:16:18):
I was just thinking it's funny because I have a
very similar story from when I was living in the city.
One of the food we used to donate to one
of the food banks all the time, because there was
a time when we were going to it all the time,
and I had a very similar circumstance. I was about
to take some stuff in and somebody came out and
asked if I was coming to give or to take,

(01:16:39):
and I could see that they were coming out with
some stuff already, so I assumed that they had already given,
so I was like, well, this time we're giving. I
always make a habit of making sure that when I
get something from somewhere when I can give it back,
I always come back and give it back, so that
kind of put them at use too. It just it
just made me think of that that was forever ago though.

Speaker 2 (01:17:03):
Now.

Speaker 4 (01:17:04):
I remember my dad when he first came here. He
was because of the size of his family, we qualified
for welfare and he did not want to take it.
He felt really bad taking welfare because he felt it
would it should help somebody in need, and my mom

(01:17:26):
had to talk him into it because we really needed
the help. So my dad worked very long hours every day,
and he would work on Saturdays and just so that
we could get out of the need for welfare. And

(01:17:46):
we were only on our welfare for I think it
was a year or so. And I won't lie. Government
cheese was the bomb. I love that stuff. Whatever that
came in, I was like, yay, it was awesome. But
you know, for dad, it was it was a sign

(01:18:09):
of weakness and my mom had to actually tell my
dad it says weakness is when you let your vanity
and your ego dictate how to provide for your family.
When you're given the opportunity, take it and that's you know.

(01:18:32):
After that, my dad was okay with, you know, taking
the welfare, but he he really did not want to
be on welfare. We were off of welfare with it
about it. I want to say it was just over
a year where he was finally out of it and
didn't you know, and for him it had been he

(01:18:54):
felt ugly taking welfare. But it wasn't ann till much
later that he realized that had because he did. We
had a very comfortable lifestyle, we the children. You know,

(01:19:14):
we liked for nothing. We didn't have designer stuff. We
didn't have I mean, my mom still had, you know,
we had hand me downs. We still bought at the
secondhand store, you know, that kind of thing. My mom
made our dresses. My mom made, you know, she would
because she was very limited on means. She would embroider everything.

(01:19:38):
I mean everything. I had my name embroidered on dresses,
I had roses, I had all sorts of stuff, you know,
and it was it was all embroidered, and whenever it
was time to hand it down, she would actually take
out the embroidered name and redo it with somebody else's name.

(01:20:00):
And she would do that for all of us. And
her favorite embroidery flaws was the variegated, which was you know,
the ombre style, and so she loved to use that
and it did such a beautiful you know, design and everything.
But you know, we still lacked for nothing. I never

(01:20:25):
wanted for anything growing up, and that was something that
I was very happy that I told my dad before
he passed. When he came up here to visit and
he saw, you know, our house and the whole lake
and all of the woods surrounding it and everything, and

(01:20:45):
he was like, this is amazing. And I said, well, Dad,
you know you taught us, well, you taught us how
to scrimp and to save and so we would have
something that we could afford and achieve. You know, this
is what you taught us when you did the same thing.
And he was like, I did that. I said, yeah,

(01:21:07):
you did. This is exactly how we're I mean, you know,
being in the military, it wasn't a pushy job. Everybody
thinks that my husband, being a doctor in the military
paid well, but no, actually he did not at all.
We had a lot of friends that would actually just

(01:21:29):
do their stint in the military and they never you know,
dinner for re upped. They just got out of the
military so that they could make bank as doctors, you know.
And there was one of our friends, Pete. He was
hilarious when he left. He let his hair grow. He
had a mullet thing going with a porn stash and everything.

(01:21:51):
He's a child of the seventies. I kid you not.
He had a Laha shirts everywhere. He was just he
was hilarious. But he was making his first year out
of the military. He was making six times as much,
he broke as as he was when he was in

(01:22:11):
the military, just one year out. And I was like,
and it wasn't that he was a surgeon or anything.
He was he was a pathologist, but you know the
that's the doctor's doctor, you know, So that was we
were just stunned. I mean, he was pulling in six G,
six hundred k, you know whatever. And I was like,

(01:22:35):
maybe you should retire, just like no, no, but you know,
you know, being frugal and you know, doing all that stuff,
and you know, sometimes our kids were like, you know,
why can't we have this? You know, why can't we
get the new Nintendo this or the Switch that or

(01:22:55):
the you know, Xbox or this, And I said, we
can't afford that, And they honestly did not understand until
we told them and said, the reason we cannot afford
it is that next year they're going to come out
with something else, and a year after that they're going
to come out with something else, and we cannot afford

(01:23:16):
to do five and six hundred dollars each year just
on a gaming console that's going to go out, you know,
so pick one and stick with it until it dies.
And that they actually had to have. They had that
little powow discussing the pros and cons of every single
gaming console. Okay, they had the powow about the games,

(01:23:40):
you know, what games they wanted to play on it,
blah blah blah and all that stuff. And after much
consideration and doing a debate back and forth, they finally
arrived at one and three games. And so we decided, okay,
that's going to be Christmas this year, and then we're
fine with that as long as they had a gaming call.
And let me tell you that gaming console is still

(01:24:00):
here in the house and they still play with it
when they come from But you know that's you know,
when you explain it in terms that they can understand,
they're fine with it. I mean, my kids come here
and they're just like, you're right. You know, this is
what you guys had wanted all this time, and now
you have it, and now we have a place to

(01:24:21):
come and it's our vacation and I was like, yes, exactly,
this is this is where the kids come to relax,
and it's it's awesome for me. I get my kids
and they get to relax and it's a win win
and it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
Speaking of beautiful things, this made me laugh, so I
have to share it though from Eggs Libs. But who's
going to pick our crops? Tesla wan Deer three thousand.

Speaker 4 (01:24:53):
Oh, oh my goodness, Ah it has and such a trippy,
trippy week, I honest to god. I Rick and I
always ask what do you want to talk about? Normally
I have an idea and we run with it. And
this time I was like, I have no idea. My

(01:25:13):
brain was totally fried. But for some reason, the Sydney
Sweeney ad kept popping into my head, you know. And
the whole thing about it is she pretty or not?
And I'm like, yeah, let's talk about beauty.

Speaker 1 (01:25:27):
And you know, I'll be honest. For me, I think
she's one of those people. And I think again, after
learning some of her story, it changed a little bit
of it for me. But I think until I got
to know a little bit more about her and some
of the things that she's actually accomplished for as young
as she is. I had her in the she's too
pretty category.

Speaker 4 (01:25:45):
Uh huh, yeah, I can see it too. But you know,
one of my favorite favorite community notes was hers. I
think it was Variety or some or New York posts.
Somebody said Sydney Sweeney's boots are not that big, and
the community note that was rated the most helpful was

(01:26:09):
yes they are. That was it, And the link provided
was just a picture of her. Pos What's the most
glorious thing I'd ever seen. I didn't even know who
the girl was, but that whole thing was hilarious. That
community note still lives rent free in my head, just

(01:26:31):
so awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:26:33):
Well, this this all goes back to and I think
part of the reason as conservatives, I think we have
an easier time finding things that are beautiful because beauty
comes from mindset, and the Democrats have such a dark,
negative mindset about everything that all they ever see is ugly.
That's like, there are so many good things that have

(01:26:53):
happened in the last seven months, and all they see
is the ugly. There are people that are absolutely beautiful
inside and out, and all they ever see is the
ugly because they're projecting how they feel about themselves on
everybody else. So one of the biggest takeaways for me
about beauty in order for you to be able to
recognize it, in order for you to be able to
see what it is, even though everybody's definition of beauty
is different and we see things differently, and what's beautiful

(01:27:14):
for one is not necessarily beautiful for the other. If
you are in a bad place and you are in
a dark place, you're not going to be able to
see it anyway. It reminds me of one of the
scenes from the pilot of Beach Phase nine, when jad
Zia Dax and Benjamin Cisco are both in the wormhole
for one of the first times and they get stopped
and they come out and there's, all of a sudden,

(01:27:36):
there's atmosphere and she's seeing this picturesque place and it's
absolutely gorgeous, and then it cuts to him and it's
like jagged rocks and clouds and lightning and wind and
everything else, and she's all like, oh, this is amazing,
this is beautiful, and he's like, are we seeing the
same things? Because they weren't. But that's kind of the
difference with people. Your idea of what beauty is is

(01:27:57):
also going to be impacted by your mood. So the
dark the darker of a place that you're in, the
worst that you feel about things, the less you're gonna
be able to see the things that actually are beautiful.

Speaker 4 (01:28:07):
Absolutely absolutely that your complete and total mindset, the mental
health that you enjoy or do not enjoy, actually projects
into what you determined to be beautiful or not. And
you know, I see that with people who suffer from OCD,

(01:28:27):
people who have a very a high anxiety life. I
mean people who suffer from high anxiety tend to have
a very negative outlook on life, and so things that
you and I would find very attractive or very pretty
or whatever, they would see all of the flaws first.

(01:28:50):
And that is that is something that I have had
to tell people who do have oc who have that mindset,
you have to bring that pattern. You actually have to
step back from that and actually look at all of
the positive things before you look at the negative things.
The negative things should actually come after the positive stuff

(01:29:14):
that actually does help establish a more happier outlook for you,
and you begin to feed the endorphins begin to flow again.
You know, you get that positive positivity going it actually
makes you feel good. And my daughter was one. She
has high anxiety, she suffers from MOSCD, and she was

(01:29:35):
always looking at all of the negative things about every
single thing. And I told her, I said, look, I'm
not a therapist. I'm just going from how I had
to treat my stuff and how I had to deal
with things. But the moment I started looking at the
positive of everything, the good qualities of everything, I started

(01:29:57):
to feel better. And I think, maybe you should do
the same thing. And it took her a while, but
she's she started to do the same thing. Now she's
not a Pollyanna like I am. Okay, she doesn't find
a reason to be glad all the time, but she
has at least made the effort on a daily basis
and it has made a vast improvement, you know. So, yeah,

(01:30:21):
I agree. When you have a certain outlook that is
completely negative and it's you feed the negative feelings first,
that's going to definitely affect how you see beauty in
things and anyway thought for the moment. Yeah, but it's true.

(01:30:45):
It's true, and it's and it's it's something that I
tell everybody. You don't have to be happy all day,
you just have to find one thing to be happy
about each day. That's enough, and that has gotten me
through some of the worst times. I by virtue of

(01:31:06):
being in the military, it's always frowned upon. It's looked
down on. If you seek behavioral therapy, you seek any
behavioral medicine, it just looks bad. So I could not
do that, and I had to learn to treat myself.
I had to learn those tips, those tricks. And this
was before the advent of the Internet where you could
actually get on and find you know, zoctoc or whatever

(01:31:30):
to talk to somebody on a zoom call about your illness,
about your treatments or anything like that. And that's something
that actually got that helped me come out of those
awful downturns that sometimes you would get when you, you know,
dealt with depression and stuff. And yes, I know it

(01:31:50):
sounds trite, and I know it sounds very elementary and
possibly a little childish. Yes it was from a children's movie,
but believe me, it works. You don't have to be
happy all day. You just have to find one thing
that makes you happy each day, and that's it. Once
you do that, you get into that habit, things start
looking really beautiful after a while, and with that, I

(01:32:13):
guess it's just close the show.

Speaker 1 (01:32:17):
And so concludes deep Thoughts with Aggie.

Speaker 4 (01:32:25):
All right, Ray, why don't you tell us where we
can find you.

Speaker 1 (01:32:28):
Don't look for me. It's a trap.

Speaker 4 (01:32:30):
It's not a trap.

Speaker 1 (01:32:31):
It's a trap.

Speaker 4 (01:32:32):
It's not.

Speaker 1 (01:32:33):
You can find me tomorrow, my friend me talking take two.
You can find me pushing buttons first for the Front
Porch Forensics crew tomorrow at eight pm Eastern time. You
can then find Juxtaposition on our new night, because we've
figured out what used to be our off night's actually
been the one we can manage to get stuff done on,
so we're just going to move into that. So we

(01:32:54):
have Juxtapvisition tomorrow night. That'll be starting at ten pm Eastern.
Sunday Night back pushing buttons and second chair for Corn's
reading room. Monday Night, America Off the Rails, Tuesday Night
Daily Show start. Our Tuesday day Daily Stow Shot show
starts again. That's Tuesday through Friday, ten am Eastern to
noon most of the time, and then we do an

(01:33:15):
extended hour on Fridays because I have brad On and
then Tuesday Night mana Ema and then you guys know
the rest of the stuff, and if you don't, just
go check out kalar on radio dot com. You can
found me found me find me at Ridoick seventy three.
I also contribute to Misfits Politics dot com, Twisty dot com,
the Loftsparty dot com. On I produce a Loft Party
podcast which drops on Tuesdays. What about You, Aggie? Where
can folks find you? Because they're You're the one they

(01:33:38):
need to find.

Speaker 4 (01:33:40):
No, Well, you can find me a thirty pm Eastern
Tuesday nights doing the Cocktail Lounge with the Everswave Brad
Slagger a thirty pm Eastern Friday nights doing He Said
She Said with the awesome you Uh. The second Tuesday
the scratch Out. The second Wednesday of ever, the guys

(01:34:00):
get together for Toxic Masculinity at eight pm, where I
bring the drink of the evening and Jeff and I
now do a book podcast. It's called The Spirited Books
and it premieers on the first Monday of every month.
We had to postpone this one, which was this past Monday,
but we're hoping that we can do it this coming Monday,

(01:34:22):
So stay tuned for that for an update, and that
would be at eight thirty pm Eastern. Thanks for joining us,
you guys, Thanks for letting me ramble on. It was
a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 (01:34:37):
All right, folks, We are going to get out of here,
and Aggie, I'm telling you you could just save time.
Just tell everybody your shows are all on Aggie time,
except the once a month thing. Oh, speaking of which
this will be the the This is the toxic masculinity
we're coming up to because it.

Speaker 4 (01:34:57):
Is the second. Yes, yes, it's the second.

Speaker 1 (01:35:00):
Bye, everybody, Thanks for hanging out with us.