May 24, 2022 • 51 mins
*sings* What about your friends?! But really…what about your internet friends?! This week I’m talking to one of my favorite friends from the internet and IRL, writer, speaker, social worker, activist, and co-host of the Melanated Faith podcast, Faitth Brooks. Listen in as Faitth and I talk about how we connected online and what are the criteria for meeting internet friends. For more information about Faitth Brooks, visit https://www.faitthbrooks.com/.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Hey, y'all, welcome back to another week of her with
Amina Brown and y'all. The living room the couch is
just in a very exciting time because so many wonderful
people are getting to come in and do a few conversations.
So I am so excited to welcome Faith Brooks into
(00:51):
her living room. Faith, I feel like what I did
almost just then. It's I almost like said a thousand
titles that I think of when I think give you.
Maybe I should still Sam and then you could come
back and tell the people. Um No, that's not true. No,
I mean it's making that up. Um. So I'm gonna say, writer, podcaster, entrepreneur, consultants, Uh,
(01:17):
anti racism? What would you say? Would you say? Anti racism? Educator,
anti racism? Writer? How would you how would you like
title that part of your work? I usually say educator
typically Yeah mm hmm, I said it right, anti racism, educator. Okay,
can cook, can burn, Okay, can put together a fit.
(01:40):
I just learned how to say a fit just now
because Faith showed me how. So keeps you on trade.
You're doing good, Faith Brooks here in the building. Thank
you so much for joining me. Thanks for having me
I'm excited about this. I you were one of the
first people I thought of, so y'all, I wanted to
have of a series of conversations about internet friends because
(02:04):
I realized there are quite a few people in my
life that I started out having been friends with them
from social media, and then we became friends in real life.
And I think you and I have an interesting story
to tell because I think we met in real life first,
but then we went all these years where we didn't
actually see each other in person, so we cultivated our
(02:26):
friendship actually online on social media, and just the way
you navigate your platform on social media, faith, and how
social media has played a role in your writing and
in your career, how your career has progressed. I just
thought you would be so perfect to come on and
talk about this. So let us first begin faith with
(02:51):
how did you and I meet? Because now you've been
in my life so long, I feel like time flies
by right Like I'm thinking about that too, that that
was probably seven years ago. Um, if I'm doing the
math correct, I'm not even good at math. So thank
god I'm married a mathematician. Okay, Um, he loves math
(03:12):
and I've given up one doing major um you know,
any kind of major math. I don't do it anymore.
But we met in two and fifteen at a women's event,
and um, I remember distinctly because I was walking into
(03:33):
like the stairwell and you were like coming back out
because I think you had just done like a spoken
word or something, and I commented on it. But we
had like a really quick black girl moment. And we
had been kind of like vibing a little bit throughout
the event every time we kind of saw each other.
And by the end of the event, we exchanged numbers,
(03:55):
which was something you never did, but we but you
we exchanged number and you were like, you know, this
is not my burner phone, you know, so like, don't
be passing out. Not fact, she told a lot o.
(04:16):
So some of y'all that think y'all got my phone number,
some of y'all got that burner, but you didn't. You didn't.
I didn't give you to burn it. Though I didn't.
You didn't. But here's the thing. See, if somebody gives
you their contact information like that, you can't abuse it,
you know what I'm saying. You can't just be like
hitting people up all the time. So we had exchange numbers,
(04:37):
but we weren't like texting all the time. So that's
so what really happened is we got to know each
other through social media and that's really where we started
to chat. So more of like that Instagram platform is
where we began to connect. Yo, I remember this now
that you are bringing this up, because I think I
(04:58):
had gone through a phase where I was meeting different
people and I would just give them my number right away.
And then I quickly realized that that's a big old regret,
especially with the type of work many of us were
doing at the time. You're constantly doing event work. You're
constantly like traveling in different cities sometimes even if you
(05:19):
I mean, I don't do this anymore, but I used
to travel alone sometimes too, So they would send somebody
to come pick you up. That person has to have
your sale number. Child. People would come to Atlanta and
be like, I'm out here going to the Braves game.
What's you up to? I'm like, who is this? Oh,
it's so and so I was driving you around and
whatever said, and I was like m And a couple
(05:41):
of my friends are like, you need to use you
a burner phone and stop giving all those people your number.
But every now and then I would like get a
vibe about someone, which is totally the vibe I got
about you, and I was like, you know what, I'm
gonna try it and see you didn't abuse it though.
I mean, that's the thing. That's the key. Some people,
you know, they talk about like networking and things like that,
(06:01):
and they take advantage of people really like they take
advantage of how people's contact information, messaging them like, that's
why people have boundaries and that's why people have burn
of homes. Okay, because you don't have time to be
dealing with that, miss Okay. So Faith, can you talk
me back through your social media history. It's so wild
sometimes to me to say words like social media history,
(06:23):
because when I think of history, I think of things
that happened decades and decades ago, centuries ago, things like this.
But it is important to know a person's social media
history because I do think that plays a role in
how we decide to navigate our relationships online as well. Right, So,
(06:43):
what was the first social media platform that you were
ever on? The first platform I was ever on was Zanga.
Come on, Zanga, come on, It's back to bab Okay,
tell the people. What did Zanga do in comparison to
what people know social media to be. Like now, Zanga
(07:03):
was kind of like a blog. You know. Um, essentially,
you had your profile, you got to write what you wanted,
you could put pictures, um, you could follow other writers
and so you know, we would follow each other and
it was just kind of like your first kind of
dabble into this like blogging world, except you have like
(07:24):
your site, your picture, you know, you had things that
kind of signified this is your Zanga profile. You could
build it out, you could change the colors, you could
change all kinds of stuff about it. I used to
spend hours on my Zanga profile because I wanted it
to be happy. You know, I want I want you
to read reader gotta say, I want you to look
at how good it looks like. All that stuff matters.
(07:46):
So this is like in the beginning too, because you
had to use coding as well. So I didn't really
know that it was quoting back then because I was
just kind of doing whatever. But you know, you have
to learn the codes to change your colors and stuff.
It wasn't fancy the way it is now. How you
do it like we had to input the codes for
what we wanted, and you know, you build your space out.
So that was the first thing. Then I went to
(08:08):
my Space. That was a hit for a minute. You
had your top eight, you know, friends fighting for spot.
I'm not in the topic, and I'm like, I don't
want now, i gotta find the code for a top
sixteen because there was like a little cheat code. You
can use my Space from my Space. Then Facebook hit
(08:29):
the map and it was for university students at the time,
which was dope. It felt better, it felt exclusive. Uh,
you know, your mom wasn't gonna be on it. And
then a few years into it they opened it up
to everybody and we were like it's ruined. So yeah,
so that was that. And then Instagram. Okay, so Instagram
popped off. That was like better. So as young people
(08:53):
switched over to Instagram and said, let our parents have Facebook,
let our grandparents have it, and then um went over
to Instagram. Somewhere during this Instagram and Facebook time, I
joined Twitter. I'm gonna be honest with you, I am
on Twitter now still. However, I have never been one
of those people to garner like thousands of followers on Twitter,
(09:15):
have a lot to say. They're like, I just don't.
It's just not my main medium. It really isn't. And
while I think it's nice, Um, it's anxiety inducing for
me to be on Twitter, like like I could be
having like a decent day and you get on Twitter.
The world's on fire, We're all about to die, and um,
(09:36):
you know, everything sucks. So that's just not the platform
for me to like highly engage in. So I'm there.
I joined their while back. I mostly just read what
people are saying when I do decide to get on there,
and then I went over to take talk nice and
start taking talking it with with them kids, so you
(09:57):
know they probably met I'm over there too, just like
I was a man when the grown people joined Facebook.
I know they're like, what what are you doing over here?
Millennial game? But you know I'm here. Some of them
are welcoming me with open arms, so um, I'm thankful.
I'm glad they let me in there. They're they're sanctuary
of space. So you know, I'm just trying to learn
with the kids learning. Yeah, because TikTok does seem like
(10:20):
a place where whatever the I feel like in every
season of life, there's always like somebody that's the generation
right and so I feel like the generation that is
the generation right now is probably that like Gen Z
and maybe the generation that maybe a little younger than
them now. And TikTok is like the place, like it
seems like they're not really on these other platforms because apparently, um,
(10:44):
we would be their aunties now or something. So they
were trying to be away from us, but appreciating some
of us that come over there that you know, are
also using that platform as well. So I always love
that about you that you're able to like know what's
trending and get in there and like learn the language.
(11:05):
I feel like I am not an early adopter in
that regard. By the time I probably figure out TikTok,
it's gonna be some other like wham Blam the other
the kids gonna be over there like nobody's TikTok and
it's like holograms on wham Blam, and I'll be like,
I just learn how to do this, dashalla it over here.
They're going to be on Web three, So please because y'all,
(11:27):
I don't know, I don't know what you're talking about, Okay,
I don't know what web three. Web three. Yeah, that's
the next iteration of the Internet. Like that's where we're going.
We're going to web three. Wow face, So what is
web three doing. We're gonna open up our hands that
we can like see a see a hologram. That's what
I always see. You you know, I find I feel
like it's something similar to that. I'm not going to
(11:48):
misspeak here because I don't have like a deep, deep
understanding of it. But you know, n F T s
um that's that's like diving into web three. Um, so
you know stuff like that. So you kind of like
where um if I'm if I'm saying this right, which
I'm probably not, so you know, y'all don't come for
me if I'm an expert. But essentially it's trying to
(12:11):
have um an iteration of the web where creators have
more ownership of what they create. So that's a part
of what Web three is going to involve. So n
fp s are kind of like a part of that.
So that's why they're kind of taking off. So you
it's it's creating more of this like digital space where
you know, people are actually purchasing this digital content rather
(12:34):
than you know, the platforms having ownership over what you create. Wow.
And there's more that there. There's like a bunch more
business e side of the things that I have zero
idea about. Um. But essentially it's just another iteration of
where the internet is going to. I'm still learning, I'm
watching videos about it. But that's just where it's happened, y'all.
(12:54):
I feel see that's this is also why you need
internet friends, so that you can get like a little
bit of education because us m hmm. I didn't know
what Faith was talking about till just now and still
probably have like a two percent understanding, but that I'm
still early in my understanding. We're just trying to do
our best over here, you know. That's it. That's yes, Faith,
we love to see it. So when we talk about
(13:16):
internet friends, I think in my mind, when I say
internet friends, I think I think I could mean two
different things, right. I feel like they're internet friends that
are not my friends in real life, but that I
do connect with them in the online space. And then
I would consider internet friends to be friends that I
either met on the internet or the Internet was our
(13:39):
main connector for a long time before we became the
kind of people that would go to each other's houses
or would go see each other if we don't live
in the same city, we visit each other when we
you know, we're in like the same place or something. Right, So,
I want to know what's your criteria for an internet friend.
And if we are going to say there are two
kinds to overage inter realized, how do you know even
(14:02):
if they're not your friend in real life? Like, how
do you know if that person is your internet friend
versus just someone you follow or versus just being someone
who follows you. Yeah, So let's start with the internet friends,
where we're just like purely our friendship stays on the internet, um,
and it really doesn't go beyond that into our personal lives.
I would say with those people, it's typically we are
(14:25):
chatting about something that's just kind of like that brings
us together. So for me, there's some black women that,
um I talked to that we just kind of like
vibe about, you know, black women's stuff, and we like
to talk about that and laugh at different videos, or
somebody might send me something and you know, we just
kind of end up connecting in that way. And it
(14:45):
usually happens like slowly and organically over time, and I
mean like a significant time, like a year or two
years of you know, kind of conversing a little bit
here and there, back and forth. We share a common interest,
you know, we kind of have something that kind of
propels us into more communication UM or if even like
we have similar um fields lines of work as writers,
(15:06):
and they might want to ask me a question about,
you know, how how did you do this or how
did um do you begin your writing career? And so
we kind of talk about talk shop about stuff like that.
It's pretty you know, common, right. And then there's people
that like, I don't know if we'll be friends outside
of the internet, but I'm willing to meet them and
find out. Right. So there was this one girl, UM,
(15:28):
I saw what she did. She kind of lived around
this area and just moved to the d m V.
So we decided to meet up. We talked shop, we laughed,
she was dope. I was like, oh yeah, we could
totally be friends outside of um the internet. She was great,
And so I will often times, I haven't done that
as often as I used to, obviously, UM, you know,
we're still within a pandemic UM. But I used to
(15:50):
do that all the time with people, I would talk
to them, we'd meet up, and then from there I
would either be able to determine if we're just gonna
like chit chat online, or if we have enough commonality
beyond that one thing we connected on to actually like
connect in real life outside of you know, um, one
(16:10):
shared interest. And that's kind of usually how I know,
Like if I can vibe with you about like multiple
life things and not just one thing, and then I
feel like I can show up as my full self
and I don't have to like put on a facade
for you, um, then that's a key. Also when people
are kind of like have really high expectations of me,
like this is the internet version I see of you,
(16:31):
and like I'm expecting you to be that internet person
in person, then I know it's probably gonna work because
I'm human, right, And like how we engage online is
different than how you engage in real life and in person.
And it doesn't mean that you're not being genuine to
who you are. It's just the fact, like when I'm
talking online, I'm talking to my phone in into my
(16:52):
phone and it goes out to the people, But in
real life we're talking social cues, you know, we're talking
about nuance, from lexity, body language, like all those things
factored together to like, you know, if you're really gonna
be able to buy with a person. I'm not, so
I take all of those interactions into consideration, Okay, without
being a miss can I just ask when you when
(17:14):
you have to meet up with someone that you knew
online and then you have the in real life meeting,
what are the vibes that make you go, oh Na,
it's not for us. It's not for us to be
friends in real life. It's just it's just the internet
for us. Like, are there are there certain vibes or
(17:36):
is it just based on that individual person? Like in
your intuition, you're just like, I know and and I'm good.
It's no shade, but I'm good. It's like I feel
like it's some of both. But to be honest with you,
when I meet somebody and we're vibing, it's like conversation
feel st effortless. It's almost like we don't run out
of things to talk about. And also, I don't feel
(17:57):
like I have to be the driver of the conversation sation.
I am an extrovert, right, but I don't want to
feel like I'm interviewing you, and I don't want to
feel like you're interviewing me. So if we can just
like have fluid conversation and the conversation can flow to me,
that's one big telltale sign that Okay, we're gonna like
flow after this and get along after this. But if
(18:18):
I feel like I'm having to interview, if the conversation
is kind of dry, if we're having these really awkward
silent moments, um, if they're asking me questions that feel
a little bit like invasive, a little bit like Okay,
you've seen and experienced me online, but you're asking me
like things that feel a little bit soon about my
personal life or relationship, then that gives me pause because
(18:39):
I don't know you yet to that extent, So why
do you need to know? And why are you're asking
me these questions? And so that's where you know I
have caution and pause because you can't just open up,
you know, about your life to just anyone. And if
in our first interaction you're trying to be like, Okay,
so tell me tell me this, tell me that, tell
(19:00):
me you know what's your you know, darkest secret or
you know what I mean, Like I'm that's weird, bro.
I don't even know you, so I don't like that.
I do not like that, and I'm gonna say something
and people are probably gonna side by me. But one
line I absolutely dislike it doesn't mean I dislike the
person who says it. I disliked this line. So tell
(19:20):
me your story. Oh, I hate to hear that. I
just don't like it. I don't like it. I feel
like everybody has a long and complex life that has
led them up to the point that they're at, and
it feels like too much work for me to try
to rack my brain on how to give you a
(19:41):
condensed version of who I am and how I became
the person that I have become this far um. I
would rather organic, genuine questions um that are appropriate for
the setting and where we are in our conversation for
me to answer, you know, and then we can interact
and vibe from there, like I feel like, to me
like stages of questions. There's a basic one, where are
(20:03):
you from the work you do? You know, people might
ask about your relationship status, which is kind of hairy,
but whatever, all that stuff, and then you know, you
kind of move into other elements of conversation. Let's say
if we meet the second time, we're gonna talk about
some different stuff, but like to come out of the
gate and expect that it feels like too much, I'll
(20:23):
be tired. I'd be tired. As soon as you said
what's your story? I was like, oh, no, please? Is
there a button? Not gonna unsubscribe? No, I don't want
I'm gonna talk about that. Nope. When you were talking
(20:47):
about sort of that difference between how people perceive you
online versus the person that you are that you are not,
you are not viewing that as like I'm too different people.
Here's faith on the internet and here's faith in real life.
For you, that's all one person. But there are times,
(21:07):
because of the way social media exists, that people there
is sort of a persona that they see of you
away they perceive you that may make it difficult for
them to actually receive the person that you are in
your real life when you're not trying to take this
(21:27):
particular picture of yourself or when you're not trying to
respond to this particular subject matter. And I really identify
with that, having had a career that was somewhat public
in a sense of like, I feel like what you
described of sort of the Internet version of you. I
feel like a lot of us as performing artists feel
that way in a certain to a certain extent, that
(21:50):
people sort of have this like, oh I saw you
seeing that, I saw you do that, that poem that
you know, dance whatever artist is you do, and then
there's this sort of person reception now that you're not
just amina, Like if Faith and I are hanging out audience,
I was about to say, dear reader, but dear listeners,
if Faith and I are hanging out, like, I can
(22:11):
be in my sweatpants talking to Faith, I can have
my face fully made up or no makeup at all,
and it just doesn't matter because I know that she
is gonna receive me for who I am, how I am.
There's not any particular way she's expecting me to perform
(22:31):
in a sense, and so it is. It has been
interesting for me as an artist trying to I think,
really trying to navigate those boundaries before social media, and
then social media added a layer of that that people
saw you live like I'm sure you experienced this part two,
having done events and having been speaking and things like
(22:51):
this right now, people have this like, oh I saw
you do that live or I heard you speak live,
and now because of that, I followed you on the internet.
So now I'm just adding layers to my perception of
who I think you are, what I think you do,
or don't need what I think you do, or don't have,
you know, all those things. Like I would get a
(23:13):
lot of assumptions from people that that I was lonely,
that I didn't have community. Like I would go to
events and people would be like, if you ever need
anybody to talk to, I'm just here, And I would
be like, but what you're here for? Like, you know,
I got people like I got good people like about
like just because I'm at this event and I like
(23:36):
to be myself on stage, so I like to share
things with you, But I'm not. I'm not sharing it
all with you. Number one. Um at number two, Like
I have people I cry it it's not with them,
Like if things is going on, I have people I
could pick up the phone and like we had just met,
(23:57):
so that would not be you. Let's just try to
let's back it up, start a little, you know, give ourselves,
Like you said, more basic questions, A favorite color, A
favorite carbohydrate one likes to eat. Let's start right there.
We don't have to jump in. If you ever need
someone to talk to already have those people, you know,
(24:18):
let's meet you figure this out where we're gonna be.
But I think that adds these interesting elements when your
work involves sort of having something of a public platform
as well as building community on social media. Right, So,
having been on social media as long as you have
and having experienced various as sundry platforms and at various
(24:42):
parts of your career, as your career has grown and blossomed, Right,
what boundaries have you found that you've had to draw
around social media for Could be just your own health,
could be as you develop relationships there, Like, are some
of those boundaries that you felt have been helpful for you? Yeah?
(25:03):
So one boundary that I developed was that I would
not share about my dating relationships anymore, um until I
was engaged and um and if I did share, I
wasn't going to share a picture of the person I
was in a relationship with. So I have like, you know,
(25:23):
there was this one guy I dated for however, ago
we broke up, I posted a picture of him, um,
and I didn't even have a lot of followers at
the time, but for years people said, oh, are you
still with that guy? And I was like, um, you know,
you know, like I've moved on. I deleted all his pictures.
Don't y'all know the context clues? He don't, okay. But
(25:48):
but from that experience, I was like, you know what,
I'm gonna keep that part of my life private. Um.
And then as my social media grew over time, which
it really kind of exploded in, I was like, Okay,
I'm still even even more committed to my decision to
not post that person. So my husband now, when we
(26:10):
started dating, which was the end of I straight up
told him I'm not posting you like I you know,
a part of my career is being on social media.
I'm not trying to hide you. I just want privacy.
And I never regret that I wanted to have something
to myself. And I told him that this is one
thing I do not want to share with everyone, and
(26:33):
so personal moments like that, I keep them to my
to myself until I'm ready to cheer them. But did
I keep my word when I was engaged in showing space. Yeah,
we're about to get married, Okay, so um, you know
I did show him then, Um, but you know, before then,
it was just kind of like I'm dating somebody and
(26:53):
I'm happy, Like you know, I'm wishing you love in
light and bliss for all of my sisters. You know,
that is kind of like where my head was at.
So when it comes to like what I want to
post and how I post, that's evolved over the years.
You know, I spent the last two years heavily focusing
on anti racism content and educating white people, and then
I got tired of it, and I was like, you
(27:14):
know what, joined me on Patreon. Okay, so if you
want to get some more of that content, hit me
up over there, Okay, Because getting harassed on the internet
for saying bold things and it comes to addressing grace
and racism is exhausting and um, it's honestly, it's just
not fun. And so I just had to make a
decision for myself, like what do I want to focus on?
(27:36):
And the truth was I wanted to focus on like
cultivating black women and cultivating and exploring black joy, and
I wanted, you know, like why do we as black
women not see each other happy and and love and
enjoying our lives and being loved, and so all of
that kind of coincided with what was going on in
(27:57):
my personal life. Um Dave being an amazing me in
and getting engaged and quickly eloping and starting our lives together,
and so all of those things kind of caused me
to lean into my softness more and and wanting to
talk about that because I know we're married now, but
I'm still learning how to be like soft with my husband.
(28:19):
I'm still learning how to accept this incredible, unconditional love
and it is. It's been a beautiful experience, you know,
and worth waiting for. But I know so many black
women who feel like that's not in the cards for them,
and honestly, I felt like it wasn't the card for
me either. I feel like an anomaly, a fluke, uh,
(28:40):
you know, like I don't know how I made it through,
but hey, I'm glad I made it. But those are
things that I want to write about. So I try
to stay genuine to where I'm at in life and
what flows out of me freely. And if anti racism
is a floor anatomy freely, it's not gonna be on
my page freely. That's just a I can only speak
to what I feel flows out of me, like openly.
(29:03):
I love what you said about how you valued your
privacy for some areas of life, and that is so
real and so wise. And I do think there. I mean,
I guess always on social media, but I feel like
when I was first getting into that sort of Instagram
Twitter era, I do feel like there was sort of
(29:24):
this idea that, well, here's the place. You say it
here first. You know, if it's raw, if it's whatever
it is, you just put it up here first. You
know that way it's you know, for some people and
for some people that's true. For some people to give
that sort of rawness to their platforms is a part
(29:45):
of their healing journey. For some people. UM, I am
not a person that heals that way. UM. I have
to heal with like my close knit people. If I
am bringing my rawness into public space without my close
people knowing about it, for me, that would be like
a not good sign. People who are close to me
(30:06):
would be like, okay, let me get an Amina's d
m S, Like everything's not okay. So I know everybody
approaches that differently, but I loved that you were able
to make that choice for yourself, because there's so many
things that when you have any element of a public platform,
there's so many things that just end up out there
kind of feeling like in a way, well, now that
(30:27):
belongs to everyone, or now that belongs in this particular space.
Like my husband and I have been married, it will
be eleven years this year. I don't think I've ever
shared publicly all the complete details of how he proposed
to me. But I did it on purpose because there's
a part of that that I only tell to people
in person, not on a recording. If I was just
(30:49):
talking to my friends and we just out somewhere, I
would tell them all the details. But there are certain
parts of that that if I'm on a podcast recording
or whatever, like I leave it out our wedding video.
I don't think I've ever even posted any clips of
that online yet. I'm not sure the format it's in
that we even online, you know. But some of those
(31:14):
details I do treasure having those to myself and having
the choice at some point if I decide I do
want to share that, then I can, but having the
choice that it's mine and how much of it I
want to share or not is up to me. It's
not something I have to feel pressured to put out
(31:35):
there or not. So I loved the way you shared that. Yeah,
because I also feel like, you know, when you do
have a platform, you're inviting people into your life. And
if you have people that are invested and feel close
to you and close to your work and like they
know you, then I also feel like you're putting people
in an odd position when you're kind of like, you know,
opening yourself up to them in a way about what's
(31:57):
going on in your life. And then let's say they
are all right and they can tell and they're like,
what's going on? And then you're like, well, I don't
have to tell you, but like you've opened up the
door for people to have those wanderings. And so I try,
to the best of my ability not open up doors
that I know I want to close. Like, so let
me not open up doors with my personal life that
I would prefer for you not to be in. Right. Um,
(32:20):
So I'm open about sharing how I met my husband
and like our love story, and I love sharing what
people our love story and how we you know, everything
happened with the matchmaker for us. But I don't go into,
you know, like nitty gritty details about like my relationship
with him. I don't go into, you know, a bunch
of our daily life kind of stuff I show him
(32:42):
in video, um, but I usually asked him for permission
and we talk through those things because he's not big
in social media and so he has his own boundaries,
So we're not doing like a bunch of video content
together all the time. And like, there's just things that
I respect of about his life, his story and what
he would also prefer. So I'm not opening up doors
(33:06):
for conversation that I just don't want to have to
close for people. Um. And maybe one day I'll make
a mistake and open up the door and have to
close it. But I just feel like for shouldn't have
said it. Sorry, We're gonna you know, backtrack, and I
can't talk about that anymore, you know. Um. But I
do think that it's only fair in some senses to
(33:26):
kind of create that boundary so you don't have to
deal with the backlash of your overshare, because that can
be hard. Like, oh, I overshared to you know, plus people,
and now I have to try to take it back. Um.
So I try to really monitor that because I don't
want to. You know, overshare and people talk, come one,
(33:49):
people talk. So whatever you say, people are gonna try
to put together context clues and throw everything together and
and so it's just really important if you know an
area of like your life you want to be bac
just keep it that way. Yeah, Like, make make that
your choice. That's a proactive thing that you can do
in your relationship to social media and the Internet. I
(34:10):
love that. I want to know, Faith, do you have
any other fun Internet friends stories when you think about
your time on on the web on social media? I
love that you brought up zanga and my Space because
those of us that are you know, a bit o
g in the process, right, It's like there are so
(34:32):
many different iterations of what content you were putting there
and how you might connect with people based on the
content that you put their right. So, do you have
any other fun stories you can tell us of times
that the Internet brought you a connection to someone. Yeah.
So the funny thing is is that with every platform,
(34:53):
um I think of it distinctly different because to me,
the people on each platform that engage with a different
um as and the types of people and so UM,
I was working in this job and UM, at the time,
we really engaged on Facebook and Facebook groups and we
were touring around and we were going to make a
tour stop and so because of that, I said to
(35:15):
this group, pay, I'm going to be in town. If
you like to meet up, let me know. I would
love to connect with you. And one person responded and said, yeah,
I'll be at the event. Um, you know, I'll come
to your booth and you know, we can talk. So
this girl shows up, true to her word, comes to
the booth, and I was kind of busy, so she
ends up helping me. Um. It really kind of started
off with like me on the inside of the booth,
(35:36):
her on the outside. So we were just chatting because
she kept having to move over when people showed interest
in what I was talking about. UM, and then eventually,
you know, after like an hour, she was like behind
the book right with me. So then we just started,
you know, and we just started talking and while she's
behind the booth, and then it went from her being
behind the booth to hey, let's go sit together. You
can sit with me, forget your seats, you know. So
(35:57):
we sat together and then the night ended and I
had the pack up and she was like, hey, I'm
still hanging out and I'm around, like, um, let's you know,
I can help you pack up, and um I found
out that night that everybody else on the floor was
flying right back home when I was the only one
that had a later flight, and so I was gonna,
um be stuck that night by myself and then everybody, um,
(36:18):
you know, it was going to be gone. So she said, well,
pack up your stuff. I'm actually going over to my
aunt and uncle's house tonight if you want to come
over for dinner and you can hang out with us there.
And I said why not. So I pack up all
the stuff from my booth at the tour, I gave
it to everybody and then they're all looking at me like,
of course you're going out with the stranger. Because I
(36:39):
always met a friend and every city we went to,
I told a friend I was going to be there,
so I always had friends coming to different cities. So
they were like, of course you're going to go out
with the stranger, this is not surprising to us and
have dinner with their family. And I was like, yeah,
I mean, well what could happen? Right? I mean, she
seemed nice enough, Okay, So I end up going with her,
(36:59):
went to her on an uncle's house and she found
for this event. So she's also just visiting her on
and uncle. She doesn't even live in this city. Um,
so I end up going to hanging out with her
on and uncle. I was staying at B and B
I believe maybe as a hostel. I can't remember. Um,
we had a long dinner, laughed. They they thought we
had been friends forever, like, no, we just met today.
(37:20):
And Um, the next morning she woke up at the
crack of dawn and picked me up and took me
to the airport. And we are so friends to this
god Internet? How fun? What a fun story. Oh my gosh, Faith,
I love that story. I mean, I think it's it's
it's interesting to me, Faith because and I'm also going
(37:42):
to have my sister on as one of my guests
for this Internet friend's story. Because my sister and I
are almost eleven years apart. So when my sister got
on Twitter, she would meet her Twitter friends in person
all the time. And when she first started doing that,
my mom and I were freaked out, like stranger danger,
you know, you know how, Like there was a time
(38:04):
where people sort of felt like, oh, I don't want
to share that I met this person I'm dating online
because people had all that like, oh no, you met online,
like there was some sort of shame they want to say, yeah, yeah,
And so I feel like sort of at that era
of time, there was this different idea of like how
(38:24):
much in danger you could be? And then it does
seem like over time, um online dating still has dangerous
and we'll talk about that on another episode. But regarding
meeting friends that you've met on the internet, it seems
like for a lot of people, and I feel this
way for a lot of my millennial friends as well,
feel like there was there was just a period of
(38:45):
time where that stopped feeling like this dangerous thing, Like
it felt like, hey, that's that's the thing I can try.
You know, do you remember in your early times of
meeting friends online were your parents or I know you
have an older brother, where they ever are like where
are you going? And who are you gonna be with?
What is going on? Like? Were they ever like that? Oh? Yeah,
of course they were. I think the reason why I
(39:07):
had less um kind of like I was more just
like go with the flow with it less inhibition, which
just because I was a social worker. That's way. Um
I got my bachelor's and master's degree in and I
was doing case management right out of college. So this
whole fear of going to meet strangers and see strangers
had to you had to be like rid of it
(39:29):
really quick because you were going to strangers houses all
this time. Like every new home you got was a
stranger and so you had to go to their house.
So because of that, I was not nervous about meeting
new people that I didn't know because I was so
used to meeting strangers. Now, I will say that there's
a part of me though that I needed to have
(39:52):
more caution because I got into some sticky situations when
it came to online dating because sometimes I just didn't
have that like that same stranger danger, right, And so, um,
I think it's one of those things where you always
have to tell people where you are. I did that
even when I'm just meeting like a girlfriend or you know,
a girl that i've you know, kind of been able
(40:13):
to connect with. I always somebody always knows where I'm
at or has my location, and I'm always communicating about
who I'm with, what their name is, etcetera. So practicing
like some of those things are really important habits to have.
I travel so much. My family just has my location,
um and I tell them where I'm going, because it's
really important for somebody to have like that knowledge. But
(40:35):
I will say, like for me, I usually just have to,
like you know, rely on my discernment and sometimes I
hit it and sometimes I've been missing it, like you
know what I'm saying. And we're human, and so it's
one of those things where you have to be really
wise about these internet friends you're meeting with. And I
kind of feel like you can kind of feel the
vibes from people, you know what I mean, Like you
can kind of feel the vibes from people online. So
(40:57):
if they're kind of sketch and you're kind of having
a watch, like they're nice, but I just don't even
meet them, like I don't even consider it. Just let it,
let it go, because some people they're just not worth meeting.
Some things are organic and it's great, but there are
some people who just don't have good intentions towards you.
They can seem like they do and they don't. And
(41:18):
um or people have obsessive and compulsive personalities, Like those
are all things to kind of like look for as
you're exploring having internet friends. But would I still meet
a stranger to this day that I don't know? Absolutely?
I would still yeah, Like especially now you can kind
of have some guide post, I mean another The pandemic
kind of like messed up some of that because now
(41:39):
you know, you're like, I want to meet you, boss,
So what's the COLT protocols? And you know, you got
a lot of other conversations. You know, I'm asking a
lot of some different questions come into play than we
had um pre pandemic, you know, But I feel like
sometimes I would try to also um and I'm sure
you did this too, Like it would give me more
comfort if we had mutual connections, like I knew other
(42:03):
people that either maybe knew that person in real life
even though I didn't and I was just meeting them
on the internet. Or sometimes I I have had some
people I met in person that we just had a
lot of the same online connections. Like a lot of
the people that I followed that I knew online followed
them and so that gave me like I got to
watch them like interact with people that I knew, and
(42:26):
that gave me some sense of like I could go
to a public place, yeah, and have coffee with you.
You can't come to my house, and I'm not going
to your house, but I can't go to a public
place and like where this coffee, ice cream, food to eat?
You know, security, I could go there and like check
you know exactly. Mutual friends is a big key. I've
(42:48):
met a lot of people that we had mutual friends
and that always feels way like it just feels much
safer and it feels less um daunting, you know when
that's the case. So I would definitely say mutual friends
feels really easy. So I'm always open to that. Yeah, Faith,
you gave us so many tips and things to think about.
(43:09):
I just want to ask this last question and then
I want you to tell the people about this good
tea that you have. You have some things coming out,
so I want you to tell the people about these things,
because sometimes when when it's the tea, you know, it's
not really good tea. Okay, let's be out there, but
it might be good to me to hear it, but
(43:32):
it may not be good for the person whose tea
it is. But this time it is this time, this
t that faith has to share is gonna be good tea?
Are there any other tips you can think of faith
that you would give for people? I know a lot
of people talk about how it is more challenging in
this day and age to make new friends. Um, even
with social media sort of being this big connector of
(43:52):
a lot of us, it can still be hard to
do that in our adult lives. When we're out of school,
many of us are work king virtually now working remotely,
it can be really challenging to make those new connections.
What tips would you give to people that are like,
I want to make some new friends. Maybe the internet
might be my best place to do that. Like, what
(44:13):
tips would you give people on the best way to
sort of begin building some genuine relationships using social media? Yeah? So,
I mean I think what I would do is if
you do have those people you're having organic conversations with,
indians'll laughing, you're cackling, You're you're like, Okay, this is cool.
We could probably, like, you know, hang out if you
live nearby, definitely, like you know, say hey, let's like
(44:36):
meet up somewhere. Um, that's always a great thing. One
thing I do too. When I moved to a new city,
sometimes I will say, hey, I'm in the area, does
anybody else live near here? And I just kind of
see who pops up and I'm you know, we talk
maybe a little bit, and I can see if okay, yeah,
this is a person I want to engage with or not. Um.
The other thing that I would also say is really
(44:57):
just being open to unconventional ways of meeting people. Yes,
the Internet is great, but like there's also like meet up. Um,
you know, so if you're in the d MB area,
I just don't let y'all know a secret. I never
told nobody, but I got a d M D meet
up group. It's called it's called Zen Black Girls. So
if you're in the d m V you know you
want to do some things with other black women, hit
(45:20):
me up. Um. I just did it because I just
knew that I needed an outlet to socialize as more people.
And you know, it's hard, and so I didn't feel
like cultivating a whole bunch of conversations in my d
M s and so I decided to start to meet up.
And that's a great place to start. So check out
your stadies meet up. I've gone to a few meetups
over the years, and yeah, I have not regretted it.
(45:40):
So if you're not um like a you know, you're
more entropreted or it's nerve wracking to you to talk
to people in d m s, then you should definitely
look up meetup dot com and down on the app
and you can find meetups that sit your interest in
your area. I think that's a really great way to start. Oh,
that's a great tip. Always forget about meet up. That's
a good that's a good, strong connector right there, y'all,
(46:02):
like it has so many options and things. Yes, Oh
that's so great, Faith, and so many great tips to
tell the people this good tea that you have brewed
for us today. Faith has a couple of things that
are on the way out there, on the way out
where you can get access to these things. So tell
(46:22):
us what is happening, Faith, How can the people they
want to connect more with some of this new work
that you're working on, tell us the vibes. So here's
what's going on, y'all. Life happened, a lot of good
things happened, And so I'm writing some books. So the
first book is called The Anti Racism Journal. It's questions
(46:42):
and practices to movie beyond performative. Ally ship that comes
out June seven, so you can reorder it now wherever
books are sold. All you have to do is look
up the Anti Racism Journal Faith Book. My name is
spelled with two t s. It is not a type
of so you can just put that in there. Um
(47:03):
the other book, man, y'all. I have poured my heart
and so into this book. And Amina has heard many
messages of ang and wow, how many times do I
have to write and rewrite um for this book? But
it is called Remember Me Now, a Journey back to
Myself and a love letter to Black women. And um,
(47:24):
that book comes out January, which I'm super excited about.
And um, honestly like it's for black women. Now, you
know the lighter, brighter you know, white folks y'all could
read it. You should. This is this is this is
(47:44):
for black women, and I want any and everyone to
pick it up because oftentimes we picked up books that
are not meant for us, and we can read from
him and glean things from them. And so I think
there's a lot of things that women color will glean
from and see, you know, similarities in But I wanted
to write something to my sisters because I remember being
(48:07):
in bookstores wishing they were more book written by women
that looked like me that I could resonate with. And
I found myself having to read book by you know,
white women that I just couldn't fully relate to, but
I read them because that's what was available and around
um in mass let's say it that way. It was
available in around in Mass. And so you know, when
you have to search long, far and hard for you know,
(48:30):
books by people of color, by black people, people that
look like you, that you can relate to in life,
that's a problem. And so I wanted to be a
part of the solution. And so I wrote a book,
and I wrote it with my sisters in mind. And
I cannot I cannot wait. I can't wait. I can
wait in some senses because it's a nerve wrecking but
I cannot wait for everybody to get it in their
(48:51):
hands and to see how people receive it and how
they enjoy the book. Oh y'all, y'all better go see
your favorite book sell and go ahead in pre order,
because you know what's good about a pre order is
two things. One pre orders help authors. Okay, so when
you pre order the book, it helps the author and
number two, you know what, it helps you because now
you don't pre ordered it, you don't have to worry
(49:12):
about remembering what day was it when Facebook was gonna
come out, because it's gonna show up right there at
your door. Even if you pre order the e book,
it's gonna show up right there in your e reader
as soon as it's out. Sometimes, gass the people who
pre order, sometimes they get it a little bit early.
Sometimes sometimes y'all get a little early dip. Sometimes it
shows up before the actual release day. I'm trying to
(49:35):
put you all on this game. Okay, So you need
to go to there and Faith the people are like,
I would like to go to a place where I
can find more information about Faith Brooks. Where should the
people go? You can go to faith Brooks dot com.
I'm gonna keep it easy for you. All of my
links to my social media are there. My hands on
social media is faith B. My just my name is
(49:56):
spelled out Facebook, two tse the letter B. You're gonna
find me everywhere Twitter and gram TikTok, Facebook, All the
places and every link you could want is on my website,
so you know I got you. It be there. People
make sure you do that. Oh my gosh, Faith, I'm
so excited. I'm so glad that we are in real
life and internet friends, because it has made my life
(50:17):
so much better being your friend. And I'm gonna tell
y'all something that y'all might not know about. Faith. Faith
be meeting with you in a coffee place somewhere. She'd
be on a trip with you somewhere, and she'd be
telling you, in a few years, I'm gonna blah blah
blah blah. And in a few years she do it.
Because she said a few years ago to some of
us um on a trip on on disclosed location, but
(50:38):
the other women listening to noday was out on a
trip to and she said to us in the back
of this van, like it's a book for me, Like
it's a book for me, Like it's some books for
me that are inside of me, Like I know that's happening.
So to see that coming to fruition now, Faith, it
just makes me like so damn proud to be your
friend in real life and on the internet, folks both play. Okay, Faith,
(51:01):
thank you so so much for joining me here in
the living room. Y'all be good friends, whether it's on
the Internet or in real life. Get you some good
friends because they're wonderful. Thanks so much. Her with Amina
(51:26):
Brown is produced by Matt Owen for Selography Productions as
a part of the Seneca Women Podcast Network and partnership
with I Heart Radio. Thanks for listening, and don't forget
to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.
Hey, y'all, welcome back to another week of her with
Amina Brown and y'all. The living room the couch is
just in a very exciting time because so many wonderful
people are getting to come in and do a few conversations.
So I am so excited to welcome Faith Brooks into
(00:51):
her living room. Faith, I feel like what I did
almost just then. It's I almost like said a thousand
titles that I think of when I think give you.
Maybe I should still Sam and then you could come
back and tell the people. Um No, that's not true. No,
I mean it's making that up. Um. So I'm gonna say, writer, podcaster, entrepreneur, consultants, Uh,
(01:17):
anti racism? What would you say? Would you say? Anti racism? Educator,
anti racism? Writer? How would you how would you like
title that part of your work? I usually say educator
typically Yeah mm hmm, I said it right, anti racism, educator. Okay,
can cook, can burn, Okay, can put together a fit.
(01:40):
I just learned how to say a fit just now
because Faith showed me how. So keeps you on trade.
You're doing good, Faith Brooks here in the building. Thank
you so much for joining me. Thanks for having me
I'm excited about this. I you were one of the
first people I thought of, so y'all, I wanted to
have of a series of conversations about internet friends because
(02:04):
I realized there are quite a few people in my
life that I started out having been friends with them
from social media, and then we became friends in real life.
And I think you and I have an interesting story
to tell because I think we met in real life first,
but then we went all these years where we didn't
actually see each other in person, so we cultivated our
(02:26):
friendship actually online on social media, and just the way
you navigate your platform on social media, faith, and how
social media has played a role in your writing and
in your career, how your career has progressed. I just
thought you would be so perfect to come on and
talk about this. So let us first begin faith with
(02:51):
how did you and I meet? Because now you've been
in my life so long, I feel like time flies
by right Like I'm thinking about that too, that that
was probably seven years ago. Um, if I'm doing the
math correct, I'm not even good at math. So thank
god I'm married a mathematician. Okay, Um, he loves math
(03:12):
and I've given up one doing major um you know,
any kind of major math. I don't do it anymore.
But we met in two and fifteen at a women's event,
and um, I remember distinctly because I was walking into
(03:33):
like the stairwell and you were like coming back out
because I think you had just done like a spoken
word or something, and I commented on it. But we
had like a really quick black girl moment. And we
had been kind of like vibing a little bit throughout
the event every time we kind of saw each other.
And by the end of the event, we exchanged numbers,
(03:55):
which was something you never did, but we but you
we exchanged number and you were like, you know, this
is not my burner phone, you know, so like, don't
be passing out. Not fact, she told a lot o.
(04:16):
So some of y'all that think y'all got my phone number,
some of y'all got that burner, but you didn't. You didn't.
I didn't give you to burn it. Though I didn't.
You didn't. But here's the thing. See, if somebody gives
you their contact information like that, you can't abuse it,
you know what I'm saying. You can't just be like
hitting people up all the time. So we had exchange numbers,
(04:37):
but we weren't like texting all the time. So that's
so what really happened is we got to know each
other through social media and that's really where we started
to chat. So more of like that Instagram platform is
where we began to connect. Yo, I remember this now
that you are bringing this up, because I think I
(04:58):
had gone through a phase where I was meeting different
people and I would just give them my number right away.
And then I quickly realized that that's a big old regret,
especially with the type of work many of us were
doing at the time. You're constantly doing event work. You're
constantly like traveling in different cities sometimes even if you
(05:19):
I mean, I don't do this anymore, but I used
to travel alone sometimes too, So they would send somebody
to come pick you up. That person has to have
your sale number. Child. People would come to Atlanta and
be like, I'm out here going to the Braves game.
What's you up to? I'm like, who is this? Oh,
it's so and so I was driving you around and
whatever said, and I was like m And a couple
(05:41):
of my friends are like, you need to use you
a burner phone and stop giving all those people your number.
But every now and then I would like get a
vibe about someone, which is totally the vibe I got
about you, and I was like, you know what, I'm
gonna try it and see you didn't abuse it though.
I mean, that's the thing. That's the key. Some people,
you know, they talk about like networking and things like that,
(06:01):
and they take advantage of people really like they take
advantage of how people's contact information, messaging them like, that's
why people have boundaries and that's why people have burn
of homes. Okay, because you don't have time to be
dealing with that, miss Okay. So Faith, can you talk
me back through your social media history. It's so wild
sometimes to me to say words like social media history,
(06:23):
because when I think of history, I think of things
that happened decades and decades ago, centuries ago, things like this.
But it is important to know a person's social media
history because I do think that plays a role in
how we decide to navigate our relationships online as well. Right, So,
(06:43):
what was the first social media platform that you were
ever on? The first platform I was ever on was Zanga.
Come on, Zanga, come on, It's back to bab Okay,
tell the people. What did Zanga do in comparison to
what people know social media to be. Like now, Zanga
(07:03):
was kind of like a blog. You know. Um, essentially,
you had your profile, you got to write what you wanted,
you could put pictures, um, you could follow other writers
and so you know, we would follow each other and
it was just kind of like your first kind of
dabble into this like blogging world, except you have like
(07:24):
your site, your picture, you know, you had things that
kind of signified this is your Zanga profile. You could
build it out, you could change the colors, you could
change all kinds of stuff about it. I used to
spend hours on my Zanga profile because I wanted it
to be happy. You know, I want I want you
to read reader gotta say, I want you to look
at how good it looks like. All that stuff matters.
(07:46):
So this is like in the beginning too, because you
had to use coding as well. So I didn't really
know that it was quoting back then because I was
just kind of doing whatever. But you know, you have
to learn the codes to change your colors and stuff.
It wasn't fancy the way it is now. How you
do it like we had to input the codes for
what we wanted, and you know, you build your space out.
So that was the first thing. Then I went to
(08:08):
my Space. That was a hit for a minute. You
had your top eight, you know, friends fighting for spot.
I'm not in the topic, and I'm like, I don't
want now, i gotta find the code for a top
sixteen because there was like a little cheat code. You
can use my Space from my Space. Then Facebook hit
(08:29):
the map and it was for university students at the time,
which was dope. It felt better, it felt exclusive. Uh,
you know, your mom wasn't gonna be on it. And
then a few years into it they opened it up
to everybody and we were like it's ruined. So yeah,
so that was that. And then Instagram. Okay, so Instagram
popped off. That was like better. So as young people
(08:53):
switched over to Instagram and said, let our parents have Facebook,
let our grandparents have it, and then um went over
to Instagram. Somewhere during this Instagram and Facebook time, I
joined Twitter. I'm gonna be honest with you, I am
on Twitter now still. However, I have never been one
of those people to garner like thousands of followers on Twitter,
(09:15):
have a lot to say. They're like, I just don't.
It's just not my main medium. It really isn't. And
while I think it's nice, Um, it's anxiety inducing for
me to be on Twitter, like like I could be
having like a decent day and you get on Twitter.
The world's on fire, We're all about to die, and um,
(09:36):
you know, everything sucks. So that's just not the platform
for me to like highly engage in. So I'm there.
I joined their while back. I mostly just read what
people are saying when I do decide to get on there,
and then I went over to take talk nice and
start taking talking it with with them kids, so you
(09:57):
know they probably met I'm over there too, just like
I was a man when the grown people joined Facebook.
I know they're like, what what are you doing over here?
Millennial game? But you know I'm here. Some of them
are welcoming me with open arms, so um, I'm thankful.
I'm glad they let me in there. They're they're sanctuary
of space. So you know, I'm just trying to learn
with the kids learning. Yeah, because TikTok does seem like
(10:20):
a place where whatever the I feel like in every
season of life, there's always like somebody that's the generation
right and so I feel like the generation that is
the generation right now is probably that like Gen Z
and maybe the generation that maybe a little younger than
them now. And TikTok is like the place, like it
seems like they're not really on these other platforms because apparently, um,
(10:44):
we would be their aunties now or something. So they
were trying to be away from us, but appreciating some
of us that come over there that you know, are
also using that platform as well. So I always love
that about you that you're able to like know what's
trending and get in there and like learn the language.
(11:05):
I feel like I am not an early adopter in
that regard. By the time I probably figure out TikTok,
it's gonna be some other like wham Blam the other
the kids gonna be over there like nobody's TikTok and
it's like holograms on wham Blam, and I'll be like,
I just learn how to do this, dashalla it over here.
They're going to be on Web three, So please because y'all,
(11:27):
I don't know, I don't know what you're talking about, Okay,
I don't know what web three. Web three. Yeah, that's
the next iteration of the Internet. Like that's where we're going.
We're going to web three. Wow face, So what is
web three doing. We're gonna open up our hands that
we can like see a see a hologram. That's what
I always see. You you know, I find I feel
like it's something similar to that. I'm not going to
(11:48):
misspeak here because I don't have like a deep, deep
understanding of it. But you know, n F T s
um that's that's like diving into web three. Um, so
you know stuff like that. So you kind of like
where um if I'm if I'm saying this right, which
I'm probably not, so you know, y'all don't come for
me if I'm an expert. But essentially it's trying to
(12:11):
have um an iteration of the web where creators have
more ownership of what they create. So that's a part
of what Web three is going to involve. So n
fp s are kind of like a part of that.
So that's why they're kind of taking off. So you
it's it's creating more of this like digital space where
you know, people are actually purchasing this digital content rather
(12:34):
than you know, the platforms having ownership over what you create. Wow.
And there's more that there. There's like a bunch more
business e side of the things that I have zero
idea about. Um. But essentially it's just another iteration of
where the internet is going to. I'm still learning, I'm
watching videos about it. But that's just where it's happened, y'all.
(12:54):
I feel see that's this is also why you need
internet friends, so that you can get like a little
bit of education because us m hmm. I didn't know
what Faith was talking about till just now and still
probably have like a two percent understanding, but that I'm
still early in my understanding. We're just trying to do
our best over here, you know. That's it. That's yes, Faith,
we love to see it. So when we talk about
(13:16):
internet friends, I think in my mind, when I say
internet friends, I think I think I could mean two
different things, right. I feel like they're internet friends that
are not my friends in real life, but that I
do connect with them in the online space. And then
I would consider internet friends to be friends that I
either met on the internet or the Internet was our
(13:39):
main connector for a long time before we became the
kind of people that would go to each other's houses
or would go see each other if we don't live
in the same city, we visit each other when we
you know, we're in like the same place or something. Right, So,
I want to know what's your criteria for an internet friend.
And if we are going to say there are two
kinds to overage inter realized, how do you know even
(14:02):
if they're not your friend in real life? Like, how
do you know if that person is your internet friend
versus just someone you follow or versus just being someone
who follows you. Yeah, So let's start with the internet friends,
where we're just like purely our friendship stays on the internet, um,
and it really doesn't go beyond that into our personal lives.
I would say with those people, it's typically we are
(14:25):
chatting about something that's just kind of like that brings
us together. So for me, there's some black women that,
um I talked to that we just kind of like
vibe about, you know, black women's stuff, and we like
to talk about that and laugh at different videos, or
somebody might send me something and you know, we just
kind of end up connecting in that way. And it
(14:45):
usually happens like slowly and organically over time, and I
mean like a significant time, like a year or two
years of you know, kind of conversing a little bit
here and there, back and forth. We share a common interest,
you know, we kind of have something that kind of
propels us into more communication UM or if even like
we have similar um fields lines of work as writers,
(15:06):
and they might want to ask me a question about,
you know, how how did you do this or how
did um do you begin your writing career? And so
we kind of talk about talk shop about stuff like that.
It's pretty you know, common, right. And then there's people
that like, I don't know if we'll be friends outside
of the internet, but I'm willing to meet them and
find out. Right. So there was this one girl, UM,
(15:28):
I saw what she did. She kind of lived around
this area and just moved to the d m V.
So we decided to meet up. We talked shop, we laughed,
she was dope. I was like, oh yeah, we could
totally be friends outside of um the internet. She was great,
And so I will often times, I haven't done that
as often as I used to, obviously, UM, you know,
we're still within a pandemic UM. But I used to
(15:50):
do that all the time with people, I would talk
to them, we'd meet up, and then from there I
would either be able to determine if we're just gonna
like chit chat online, or if we have enough commonality
beyond that one thing we connected on to actually like
connect in real life outside of you know, um, one
(16:10):
shared interest. And that's kind of usually how I know,
Like if I can vibe with you about like multiple
life things and not just one thing, and then I
feel like I can show up as my full self
and I don't have to like put on a facade
for you, um, then that's a key. Also when people
are kind of like have really high expectations of me,
like this is the internet version I see of you,
(16:31):
and like I'm expecting you to be that internet person
in person, then I know it's probably gonna work because
I'm human, right, And like how we engage online is
different than how you engage in real life and in person.
And it doesn't mean that you're not being genuine to
who you are. It's just the fact, like when I'm
talking online, I'm talking to my phone in into my
(16:52):
phone and it goes out to the people, But in
real life we're talking social cues, you know, we're talking
about nuance, from lexity, body language, like all those things
factored together to like, you know, if you're really gonna
be able to buy with a person. I'm not, so
I take all of those interactions into consideration, Okay, without
being a miss can I just ask when you when
(17:14):
you have to meet up with someone that you knew
online and then you have the in real life meeting,
what are the vibes that make you go, oh Na,
it's not for us. It's not for us to be
friends in real life. It's just it's just the internet
for us. Like, are there are there certain vibes or
(17:36):
is it just based on that individual person? Like in
your intuition, you're just like, I know and and I'm good.
It's no shade, but I'm good. It's like I feel
like it's some of both. But to be honest with you,
when I meet somebody and we're vibing, it's like conversation
feel st effortless. It's almost like we don't run out
of things to talk about. And also, I don't feel
(17:57):
like I have to be the driver of the conversation sation.
I am an extrovert, right, but I don't want to
feel like I'm interviewing you, and I don't want to
feel like you're interviewing me. So if we can just
like have fluid conversation and the conversation can flow to me,
that's one big telltale sign that Okay, we're gonna like
flow after this and get along after this. But if
(18:18):
I feel like I'm having to interview, if the conversation
is kind of dry, if we're having these really awkward
silent moments, um, if they're asking me questions that feel
a little bit like invasive, a little bit like Okay,
you've seen and experienced me online, but you're asking me
like things that feel a little bit soon about my
personal life or relationship, then that gives me pause because
(18:39):
I don't know you yet to that extent, So why
do you need to know? And why are you're asking
me these questions? And so that's where you know I
have caution and pause because you can't just open up,
you know, about your life to just anyone. And if
in our first interaction you're trying to be like, Okay,
so tell me tell me this, tell me that, tell
(19:00):
me you know what's your you know, darkest secret or
you know what I mean, Like I'm that's weird, bro.
I don't even know you, so I don't like that.
I do not like that, and I'm gonna say something
and people are probably gonna side by me. But one
line I absolutely dislike it doesn't mean I dislike the
person who says it. I disliked this line. So tell
(19:20):
me your story. Oh, I hate to hear that. I
just don't like it. I don't like it. I feel
like everybody has a long and complex life that has
led them up to the point that they're at, and
it feels like too much work for me to try
to rack my brain on how to give you a
(19:41):
condensed version of who I am and how I became
the person that I have become this far um. I
would rather organic, genuine questions um that are appropriate for
the setting and where we are in our conversation for
me to answer, you know, and then we can interact
and vibe from there, like I feel like, to me
like stages of questions. There's a basic one, where are
(20:03):
you from the work you do? You know, people might
ask about your relationship status, which is kind of hairy,
but whatever, all that stuff, and then you know, you
kind of move into other elements of conversation. Let's say
if we meet the second time, we're gonna talk about
some different stuff, but like to come out of the
gate and expect that it feels like too much, I'll
(20:23):
be tired. I'd be tired. As soon as you said
what's your story? I was like, oh, no, please? Is
there a button? Not gonna unsubscribe? No, I don't want
I'm gonna talk about that. Nope. When you were talking
(20:47):
about sort of that difference between how people perceive you
online versus the person that you are that you are not,
you are not viewing that as like I'm too different people.
Here's faith on the internet and here's faith in real life.
For you, that's all one person. But there are times,
(21:07):
because of the way social media exists, that people there
is sort of a persona that they see of you
away they perceive you that may make it difficult for
them to actually receive the person that you are in
your real life when you're not trying to take this
(21:27):
particular picture of yourself or when you're not trying to
respond to this particular subject matter. And I really identify
with that, having had a career that was somewhat public
in a sense of like, I feel like what you
described of sort of the Internet version of you. I
feel like a lot of us as performing artists feel
that way in a certain to a certain extent, that
(21:50):
people sort of have this like, oh I saw you
seeing that, I saw you do that, that poem that
you know, dance whatever artist is you do, and then
there's this sort of person reception now that you're not
just amina, Like if Faith and I are hanging out audience,
I was about to say, dear reader, but dear listeners,
if Faith and I are hanging out, like, I can
(22:11):
be in my sweatpants talking to Faith, I can have
my face fully made up or no makeup at all,
and it just doesn't matter because I know that she
is gonna receive me for who I am, how I am.
There's not any particular way she's expecting me to perform
(22:31):
in a sense, and so it is. It has been
interesting for me as an artist trying to I think,
really trying to navigate those boundaries before social media, and
then social media added a layer of that that people
saw you live like I'm sure you experienced this part two,
having done events and having been speaking and things like
(22:51):
this right now, people have this like, oh I saw
you do that live or I heard you speak live,
and now because of that, I followed you on the internet.
So now I'm just adding layers to my perception of
who I think you are, what I think you do,
or don't need what I think you do, or don't have,
you know, all those things. Like I would get a
(23:13):
lot of assumptions from people that that I was lonely,
that I didn't have community. Like I would go to
events and people would be like, if you ever need
anybody to talk to, I'm just here, And I would
be like, but what you're here for? Like, you know,
I got people like I got good people like about
like just because I'm at this event and I like
(23:36):
to be myself on stage, so I like to share
things with you, But I'm not. I'm not sharing it
all with you. Number one. Um at number two, Like
I have people I cry it it's not with them,
Like if things is going on, I have people I
could pick up the phone and like we had just met,
(23:57):
so that would not be you. Let's just try to
let's back it up, start a little, you know, give ourselves,
Like you said, more basic questions, A favorite color, A
favorite carbohydrate one likes to eat. Let's start right there.
We don't have to jump in. If you ever need
someone to talk to already have those people, you know,
(24:18):
let's meet you figure this out where we're gonna be.
But I think that adds these interesting elements when your
work involves sort of having something of a public platform
as well as building community on social media. Right, So,
having been on social media as long as you have
and having experienced various as sundry platforms and at various
(24:42):
parts of your career, as your career has grown and blossomed, Right,
what boundaries have you found that you've had to draw
around social media for Could be just your own health,
could be as you develop relationships there, Like, are some
of those boundaries that you felt have been helpful for you? Yeah?
(25:03):
So one boundary that I developed was that I would
not share about my dating relationships anymore, um until I
was engaged and um and if I did share, I
wasn't going to share a picture of the person I
was in a relationship with. So I have like, you know,
(25:23):
there was this one guy I dated for however, ago
we broke up, I posted a picture of him, um,
and I didn't even have a lot of followers at
the time, but for years people said, oh, are you
still with that guy? And I was like, um, you know,
you know, like I've moved on. I deleted all his pictures.
Don't y'all know the context clues? He don't, okay. But
(25:48):
but from that experience, I was like, you know what,
I'm gonna keep that part of my life private. Um.
And then as my social media grew over time, which
it really kind of exploded in, I was like, Okay,
I'm still even even more committed to my decision to
not post that person. So my husband now, when we
(26:10):
started dating, which was the end of I straight up
told him I'm not posting you like I you know,
a part of my career is being on social media.
I'm not trying to hide you. I just want privacy.
And I never regret that I wanted to have something
to myself. And I told him that this is one
thing I do not want to share with everyone, and
(26:33):
so personal moments like that, I keep them to my
to myself until I'm ready to cheer them. But did
I keep my word when I was engaged in showing space. Yeah,
we're about to get married, Okay, so um, you know
I did show him then, Um, but you know, before then,
it was just kind of like I'm dating somebody and
(26:53):
I'm happy, Like you know, I'm wishing you love in
light and bliss for all of my sisters. You know,
that is kind of like where my head was at.
So when it comes to like what I want to
post and how I post, that's evolved over the years.
You know, I spent the last two years heavily focusing
on anti racism content and educating white people, and then
I got tired of it, and I was like, you
(27:14):
know what, joined me on Patreon. Okay, so if you
want to get some more of that content, hit me
up over there, Okay, Because getting harassed on the internet
for saying bold things and it comes to addressing grace
and racism is exhausting and um, it's honestly, it's just
not fun. And so I just had to make a
decision for myself, like what do I want to focus on?
(27:36):
And the truth was I wanted to focus on like
cultivating black women and cultivating and exploring black joy, and
I wanted, you know, like why do we as black
women not see each other happy and and love and
enjoying our lives and being loved, and so all of
that kind of coincided with what was going on in
(27:57):
my personal life. Um Dave being an amazing me in
and getting engaged and quickly eloping and starting our lives together,
and so all of those things kind of caused me
to lean into my softness more and and wanting to
talk about that because I know we're married now, but
I'm still learning how to be like soft with my husband.
(28:19):
I'm still learning how to accept this incredible, unconditional love
and it is. It's been a beautiful experience, you know,
and worth waiting for. But I know so many black
women who feel like that's not in the cards for them,
and honestly, I felt like it wasn't the card for
me either. I feel like an anomaly, a fluke, uh,
(28:40):
you know, like I don't know how I made it through,
but hey, I'm glad I made it. But those are
things that I want to write about. So I try
to stay genuine to where I'm at in life and
what flows out of me freely. And if anti racism
is a floor anatomy freely, it's not gonna be on
my page freely. That's just a I can only speak
to what I feel flows out of me, like openly.
(29:03):
I love what you said about how you valued your
privacy for some areas of life, and that is so
real and so wise. And I do think there. I mean,
I guess always on social media, but I feel like
when I was first getting into that sort of Instagram
Twitter era, I do feel like there was sort of
(29:24):
this idea that, well, here's the place. You say it
here first. You know, if it's raw, if it's whatever
it is, you just put it up here first. You
know that way it's you know, for some people and
for some people that's true. For some people to give
that sort of rawness to their platforms is a part
(29:45):
of their healing journey. For some people. UM, I am
not a person that heals that way. UM. I have
to heal with like my close knit people. If I
am bringing my rawness into public space without my close
people knowing about it, for me, that would be like
a not good sign. People who are close to me
(30:06):
would be like, okay, let me get an Amina's d
m S, Like everything's not okay. So I know everybody
approaches that differently, but I loved that you were able
to make that choice for yourself, because there's so many
things that when you have any element of a public platform,
there's so many things that just end up out there
kind of feeling like in a way, well, now that
(30:27):
belongs to everyone, or now that belongs in this particular space.
Like my husband and I have been married, it will
be eleven years this year. I don't think I've ever
shared publicly all the complete details of how he proposed
to me. But I did it on purpose because there's
a part of that that I only tell to people
in person, not on a recording. If I was just
(30:49):
talking to my friends and we just out somewhere, I
would tell them all the details. But there are certain
parts of that that if I'm on a podcast recording
or whatever, like I leave it out our wedding video.
I don't think I've ever even posted any clips of
that online yet. I'm not sure the format it's in
that we even online, you know. But some of those
(31:14):
details I do treasure having those to myself and having
the choice at some point if I decide I do
want to share that, then I can, but having the
choice that it's mine and how much of it I
want to share or not is up to me. It's
not something I have to feel pressured to put out
(31:35):
there or not. So I loved the way you shared that. Yeah,
because I also feel like, you know, when you do
have a platform, you're inviting people into your life. And
if you have people that are invested and feel close
to you and close to your work and like they
know you, then I also feel like you're putting people
in an odd position when you're kind of like, you know,
opening yourself up to them in a way about what's
(31:57):
going on in your life. And then let's say they
are all right and they can tell and they're like,
what's going on? And then you're like, well, I don't
have to tell you, but like you've opened up the
door for people to have those wanderings. And so I try,
to the best of my ability not open up doors
that I know I want to close. Like, so let
me not open up doors with my personal life that
I would prefer for you not to be in. Right. Um,
(32:20):
So I'm open about sharing how I met my husband
and like our love story, and I love sharing what
people our love story and how we you know, everything
happened with the matchmaker for us. But I don't go into,
you know, like nitty gritty details about like my relationship
with him. I don't go into, you know, a bunch
of our daily life kind of stuff I show him
(32:42):
in video, um, but I usually asked him for permission
and we talk through those things because he's not big
in social media and so he has his own boundaries,
So we're not doing like a bunch of video content
together all the time. And like, there's just things that
I respect of about his life, his story and what
he would also prefer. So I'm not opening up doors
(33:06):
for conversation that I just don't want to have to
close for people. Um. And maybe one day I'll make
a mistake and open up the door and have to
close it. But I just feel like for shouldn't have
said it. Sorry, We're gonna you know, backtrack, and I
can't talk about that anymore, you know. Um. But I
do think that it's only fair in some senses to
(33:26):
kind of create that boundary so you don't have to
deal with the backlash of your overshare, because that can
be hard. Like, oh, I overshared to you know, plus people,
and now I have to try to take it back. Um.
So I try to really monitor that because I don't
want to. You know, overshare and people talk, come one,
(33:49):
people talk. So whatever you say, people are gonna try
to put together context clues and throw everything together and
and so it's just really important if you know an
area of like your life you want to be bac
just keep it that way. Yeah, Like, make make that
your choice. That's a proactive thing that you can do
in your relationship to social media and the Internet. I
(34:10):
love that. I want to know, Faith, do you have
any other fun Internet friends stories when you think about
your time on on the web on social media? I
love that you brought up zanga and my Space because
those of us that are you know, a bit o
g in the process, right, It's like there are so
(34:32):
many different iterations of what content you were putting there
and how you might connect with people based on the
content that you put their right. So, do you have
any other fun stories you can tell us of times
that the Internet brought you a connection to someone. Yeah.
So the funny thing is is that with every platform,
(34:53):
um I think of it distinctly different because to me,
the people on each platform that engage with a different
um as and the types of people and so UM,
I was working in this job and UM, at the time,
we really engaged on Facebook and Facebook groups and we
were touring around and we were going to make a
tour stop and so because of that, I said to
(35:15):
this group, pay, I'm going to be in town. If
you like to meet up, let me know. I would
love to connect with you. And one person responded and said, yeah,
I'll be at the event. Um, you know, I'll come
to your booth and you know, we can talk. So
this girl shows up, true to her word, comes to
the booth, and I was kind of busy, so she
ends up helping me. Um. It really kind of started
off with like me on the inside of the booth,
(35:36):
her on the outside. So we were just chatting because
she kept having to move over when people showed interest
in what I was talking about. UM, and then eventually,
you know, after like an hour, she was like behind
the book right with me. So then we just started,
you know, and we just started talking and while she's
behind the booth, and then it went from her being
behind the booth to hey, let's go sit together. You
can sit with me, forget your seats, you know. So
(35:57):
we sat together and then the night ended and I
had the pack up and she was like, hey, I'm
still hanging out and I'm around, like, um, let's you know,
I can help you pack up, and um I found
out that night that everybody else on the floor was
flying right back home when I was the only one
that had a later flight, and so I was gonna,
um be stuck that night by myself and then everybody, um,
(36:18):
you know, it was going to be gone. So she said, well,
pack up your stuff. I'm actually going over to my
aunt and uncle's house tonight if you want to come
over for dinner and you can hang out with us there.
And I said why not. So I pack up all
the stuff from my booth at the tour, I gave
it to everybody and then they're all looking at me like,
of course you're going out with the stranger. Because I
(36:39):
always met a friend and every city we went to,
I told a friend I was going to be there,
so I always had friends coming to different cities. So
they were like, of course you're going to go out
with the stranger, this is not surprising to us and
have dinner with their family. And I was like, yeah,
I mean, well what could happen? Right? I mean, she
seemed nice enough, Okay, So I end up going with her,
(36:59):
went to her on an uncle's house and she found
for this event. So she's also just visiting her on
and uncle. She doesn't even live in this city. Um,
so I end up going to hanging out with her
on and uncle. I was staying at B and B
I believe maybe as a hostel. I can't remember. Um,
we had a long dinner, laughed. They they thought we
had been friends forever, like, no, we just met today.
(37:20):
And Um, the next morning she woke up at the
crack of dawn and picked me up and took me
to the airport. And we are so friends to this
god Internet? How fun? What a fun story. Oh my gosh, Faith,
I love that story. I mean, I think it's it's
it's interesting to me, Faith because and I'm also going
(37:42):
to have my sister on as one of my guests
for this Internet friend's story. Because my sister and I
are almost eleven years apart. So when my sister got
on Twitter, she would meet her Twitter friends in person
all the time. And when she first started doing that,
my mom and I were freaked out, like stranger danger,
you know, you know how, Like there was a time
(38:04):
where people sort of felt like, oh, I don't want
to share that I met this person I'm dating online
because people had all that like, oh no, you met online,
like there was some sort of shame they want to say, yeah, yeah,
And so I feel like sort of at that era
of time, there was this different idea of like how
(38:24):
much in danger you could be? And then it does
seem like over time, um online dating still has dangerous
and we'll talk about that on another episode. But regarding
meeting friends that you've met on the internet, it seems
like for a lot of people, and I feel this
way for a lot of my millennial friends as well,
feel like there was there was just a period of
(38:45):
time where that stopped feeling like this dangerous thing, Like
it felt like, hey, that's that's the thing I can try.
You know, do you remember in your early times of
meeting friends online were your parents or I know you
have an older brother, where they ever are like where
are you going? And who are you gonna be with?
What is going on? Like? Were they ever like that? Oh? Yeah,
of course they were. I think the reason why I
(39:07):
had less um kind of like I was more just
like go with the flow with it less inhibition, which
just because I was a social worker. That's way. Um
I got my bachelor's and master's degree in and I
was doing case management right out of college. So this
whole fear of going to meet strangers and see strangers
had to you had to be like rid of it
(39:29):
really quick because you were going to strangers houses all
this time. Like every new home you got was a
stranger and so you had to go to their house.
So because of that, I was not nervous about meeting
new people that I didn't know because I was so
used to meeting strangers. Now, I will say that there's
a part of me though that I needed to have
(39:52):
more caution because I got into some sticky situations when
it came to online dating because sometimes I just didn't
have that like that same stranger danger, right, And so, um,
I think it's one of those things where you always
have to tell people where you are. I did that
even when I'm just meeting like a girlfriend or you know,
a girl that i've you know, kind of been able
(40:13):
to connect with. I always somebody always knows where I'm
at or has my location, and I'm always communicating about
who I'm with, what their name is, etcetera. So practicing
like some of those things are really important habits to have.
I travel so much. My family just has my location,
um and I tell them where I'm going, because it's
really important for somebody to have like that knowledge. But
(40:35):
I will say, like for me, I usually just have to,
like you know, rely on my discernment and sometimes I
hit it and sometimes I've been missing it, like you
know what I'm saying. And we're human, and so it's
one of those things where you have to be really
wise about these internet friends you're meeting with. And I
kind of feel like you can kind of feel the
vibes from people, you know what I mean, Like you
can kind of feel the vibes from people online. So
(40:57):
if they're kind of sketch and you're kind of having
a watch, like they're nice, but I just don't even
meet them, like I don't even consider it. Just let it,
let it go, because some people they're just not worth meeting.
Some things are organic and it's great, but there are
some people who just don't have good intentions towards you.
They can seem like they do and they don't. And
(41:18):
um or people have obsessive and compulsive personalities, Like those
are all things to kind of like look for as
you're exploring having internet friends. But would I still meet
a stranger to this day that I don't know? Absolutely?
I would still yeah, Like especially now you can kind
of have some guide post, I mean another The pandemic
kind of like messed up some of that because now
(41:39):
you know, you're like, I want to meet you, boss,
So what's the COLT protocols? And you know, you got
a lot of other conversations. You know, I'm asking a
lot of some different questions come into play than we
had um pre pandemic, you know, But I feel like
sometimes I would try to also um and I'm sure
you did this too, Like it would give me more
comfort if we had mutual connections, like I knew other
(42:03):
people that either maybe knew that person in real life
even though I didn't and I was just meeting them
on the internet. Or sometimes I I have had some
people I met in person that we just had a
lot of the same online connections. Like a lot of
the people that I followed that I knew online followed
them and so that gave me like I got to
watch them like interact with people that I knew, and
(42:26):
that gave me some sense of like I could go
to a public place, yeah, and have coffee with you.
You can't come to my house, and I'm not going
to your house, but I can't go to a public
place and like where this coffee, ice cream, food to eat?
You know, security, I could go there and like check
you know exactly. Mutual friends is a big key. I've
(42:48):
met a lot of people that we had mutual friends
and that always feels way like it just feels much
safer and it feels less um daunting, you know when
that's the case. So I would definitely say mutual friends
feels really easy. So I'm always open to that. Yeah, Faith,
you gave us so many tips and things to think about.
(43:09):
I just want to ask this last question and then
I want you to tell the people about this good
tea that you have. You have some things coming out,
so I want you to tell the people about these things,
because sometimes when when it's the tea, you know, it's
not really good tea. Okay, let's be out there, but
it might be good to me to hear it, but
(43:32):
it may not be good for the person whose tea
it is. But this time it is this time, this
t that faith has to share is gonna be good tea?
Are there any other tips you can think of faith
that you would give for people? I know a lot
of people talk about how it is more challenging in
this day and age to make new friends. Um, even
with social media sort of being this big connector of
(43:52):
a lot of us, it can still be hard to
do that in our adult lives. When we're out of school,
many of us are work king virtually now working remotely,
it can be really challenging to make those new connections.
What tips would you give to people that are like,
I want to make some new friends. Maybe the internet
might be my best place to do that. Like, what
(44:13):
tips would you give people on the best way to
sort of begin building some genuine relationships using social media? Yeah? So,
I mean I think what I would do is if
you do have those people you're having organic conversations with,
indians'll laughing, you're cackling, You're you're like, Okay, this is cool.
We could probably, like, you know, hang out if you
live nearby, definitely, like you know, say hey, let's like
(44:36):
meet up somewhere. Um, that's always a great thing. One
thing I do too. When I moved to a new city,
sometimes I will say, hey, I'm in the area, does
anybody else live near here? And I just kind of
see who pops up and I'm you know, we talk
maybe a little bit, and I can see if okay, yeah,
this is a person I want to engage with or not. Um.
The other thing that I would also say is really
(44:57):
just being open to unconventional ways of meeting people. Yes,
the Internet is great, but like there's also like meet up. Um,
you know, so if you're in the d MB area,
I just don't let y'all know a secret. I never
told nobody, but I got a d M D meet
up group. It's called it's called Zen Black Girls. So
if you're in the d m V you know you
want to do some things with other black women, hit
(45:20):
me up. Um. I just did it because I just
knew that I needed an outlet to socialize as more people.
And you know, it's hard, and so I didn't feel
like cultivating a whole bunch of conversations in my d
M s and so I decided to start to meet up.
And that's a great place to start. So check out
your stadies meet up. I've gone to a few meetups
over the years, and yeah, I have not regretted it.
(45:40):
So if you're not um like a you know, you're
more entropreted or it's nerve wracking to you to talk
to people in d m s, then you should definitely
look up meetup dot com and down on the app
and you can find meetups that sit your interest in
your area. I think that's a really great way to start. Oh,
that's a great tip. Always forget about meet up. That's
a good that's a good, strong connector right there, y'all,
(46:02):
like it has so many options and things. Yes, Oh
that's so great, Faith, and so many great tips to
tell the people this good tea that you have brewed
for us today. Faith has a couple of things that
are on the way out there, on the way out
where you can get access to these things. So tell
(46:22):
us what is happening, Faith, How can the people they
want to connect more with some of this new work
that you're working on, tell us the vibes. So here's
what's going on, y'all. Life happened, a lot of good
things happened, And so I'm writing some books. So the
first book is called The Anti Racism Journal. It's questions
(46:42):
and practices to movie beyond performative. Ally ship that comes
out June seven, so you can reorder it now wherever
books are sold. All you have to do is look
up the Anti Racism Journal Faith Book. My name is
spelled with two t s. It is not a type
of so you can just put that in there. Um
(47:03):
the other book, man, y'all. I have poured my heart
and so into this book. And Amina has heard many
messages of ang and wow, how many times do I
have to write and rewrite um for this book? But
it is called Remember Me Now, a Journey back to
Myself and a love letter to Black women. And um,
(47:24):
that book comes out January, which I'm super excited about.
And um, honestly like it's for black women. Now, you
know the lighter, brighter you know, white folks y'all could
read it. You should. This is this is this is
(47:44):
for black women, and I want any and everyone to
pick it up because oftentimes we picked up books that
are not meant for us, and we can read from
him and glean things from them. And so I think
there's a lot of things that women color will glean
from and see, you know, similarities in But I wanted
to write something to my sisters because I remember being
(48:07):
in bookstores wishing they were more book written by women
that looked like me that I could resonate with. And
I found myself having to read book by you know,
white women that I just couldn't fully relate to, but
I read them because that's what was available and around
um in mass let's say it that way. It was
available in around in Mass. And so you know, when
you have to search long, far and hard for you know,
(48:30):
books by people of color, by black people, people that
look like you, that you can relate to in life,
that's a problem. And so I wanted to be a
part of the solution. And so I wrote a book,
and I wrote it with my sisters in mind. And
I cannot I cannot wait. I can't wait. I can
wait in some senses because it's a nerve wrecking but
I cannot wait for everybody to get it in their
(48:51):
hands and to see how people receive it and how
they enjoy the book. Oh y'all, y'all better go see
your favorite book sell and go ahead in pre order,
because you know what's good about a pre order is
two things. One pre orders help authors. Okay, so when
you pre order the book, it helps the author and
number two, you know what, it helps you because now
you don't pre ordered it, you don't have to worry
(49:12):
about remembering what day was it when Facebook was gonna
come out, because it's gonna show up right there at
your door. Even if you pre order the e book,
it's gonna show up right there in your e reader
as soon as it's out. Sometimes, gass the people who
pre order, sometimes they get it a little bit early.
Sometimes sometimes y'all get a little early dip. Sometimes it
shows up before the actual release day. I'm trying to
(49:35):
put you all on this game. Okay, So you need
to go to there and Faith the people are like,
I would like to go to a place where I
can find more information about Faith Brooks. Where should the
people go? You can go to faith Brooks dot com.
I'm gonna keep it easy for you. All of my
links to my social media are there. My hands on
social media is faith B. My just my name is
(49:56):
spelled out Facebook, two tse the letter B. You're gonna
find me everywhere Twitter and gram TikTok, Facebook, All the
places and every link you could want is on my website,
so you know I got you. It be there. People
make sure you do that. Oh my gosh, Faith, I'm
so excited. I'm so glad that we are in real
life and internet friends, because it has made my life
(50:17):
so much better being your friend. And I'm gonna tell
y'all something that y'all might not know about. Faith. Faith
be meeting with you in a coffee place somewhere. She'd
be on a trip with you somewhere, and she'd be
telling you, in a few years, I'm gonna blah blah
blah blah. And in a few years she do it.
Because she said a few years ago to some of
us um on a trip on on disclosed location, but
(50:38):
the other women listening to noday was out on a
trip to and she said to us in the back
of this van, like it's a book for me, Like
it's a book for me, Like it's some books for
me that are inside of me, Like I know that's happening.
So to see that coming to fruition now, Faith, it
just makes me like so damn proud to be your
friend in real life and on the internet, folks both play. Okay, Faith,
(51:01):
thank you so so much for joining me here in
the living room. Y'all be good friends, whether it's on
the Internet or in real life. Get you some good
friends because they're wonderful. Thanks so much. Her with Amina
(51:26):
Brown is produced by Matt Owen for Selography Productions as
a part of the Seneca Women Podcast Network and partnership
with I Heart Radio. Thanks for listening, and don't forget
to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.
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