Episode 63

On episode 63 of Highway2Helms, “The Hurricane” Shane Helms discusses home schooling schedules, the US deficit, fantasy football, the most depressing movie of all time, Doom Patrol, Harley Quinn Season 2, I’m Thinking Of Ending Things on Netflix, The Boys on Amazon Prime, forgetting names, and.... I forget. I’m sure there’s more though!

And in this week's "Comic Slam,” Shane talks The Resistance, Superman, Justice League Dark, Captain Marvel, Nick Fury, X Force, Colossus vs. Omega Red, Professor X, Black Panther and a whole hell of a lot more!


Check out "The Hurricane" Shane Helms Pro Wrestling Tees store at prowrestlingtees.com/shanehelms and get Hurricane shirts and masks, 3 Count shirts, a new Gregory Helms shirt and more!

Support H2H’s returning sponsor Real Good Foods! Healthy and delicious breakfast sandwiches, pizza, stuffed chicken entrees and more! Go to realgoodfoods.com and see what stores you can purchase them at nearby, or order off of the website and use the code HELMS for 15% off!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
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He's called, he start, he'sstarted. Look here, greetings, salutations.

(03:07):
What it is? God damn,what it is? Citizen episode Citi
Sun. There's only one person listenthis, Uh, citizens, I should
say episode sixty three coming at youright in your face, right in your
ear hole. It is What dayis it? Exactly? What fucking day
is it? I feel like thelast couple of weeks, I've started every

(03:30):
episode explaining why I'm late. It'sjust supposed to be out on Tuesday.
It is now Wednesday, and I'mjust recording. But I will say Labor
Day was this past Monday, andI did not know it was Monday to
about four pm. I just fuckingdidn't realize that shit. I just all

(03:51):
turned around, just not leaving,you know, not leaving the far you
know too often, you know.And I don't even go outside that much.
To be honest with you, I'mlacking in sunlight. The pale horse,
behold the pale horse, for theman who saddled him was death and
hell followed with him. You're here, so yeah, I was. And

(04:15):
by the time I realized it wasMonday, yes, I could have came
on here, jumped on here,recorded, but it didn't. I think
I actually too. I only realizedit was Monday was because people were talking
about matches for Monday night. Rawweren't announced yet, and I was like,
why would they be, It's onlySunday. Wait a minute, no,
it's not. And that's kind ofhow my brain worked that day.

(04:41):
And then Tuesday, you're back backon the own une schooling thing with the
kids, homeschooling, own none schooling, whatever the fuck you call it,
and I hate that ship. Iknow. I always hear stories about parents,
you know, like everything that woulddrive them crazy, driving crazy with
the kids when the kids were youngthey miss when they're older, and I

(05:05):
understand some of that. I donot think online schooling will be one of
them, though, because I getnothing out of that yet. But you
know, you're on a on aregular day you know, I get up
just a little past seven thirty am. Um, I go in, prepare

(05:25):
to breakfast for the boys, getthem situated. They have to be on
the clock at nine, so Igo get them breakfast if I'm if I'm
smart, While they're eating breakfast,I'll come upstairs and put in like my
first twenty minutes on the treadmill.Then go back downstairs and get them,

(05:45):
you know, get them ready tolog in. You know. Sebastian has
a video meeting with his teacher everymorning, and Braxton does two, but
the schedules are a little different.Of course them is helping with all of
this too, and she's actually kindof the driving force. Literally just tells
me what to do. It's notlike I said this fucking schedule whatsoever.

(06:09):
But that's if I'm smart, I'lldo that. Trademill park, try to
get squeezeing in sometimes with Sebastian,you know, because he is a third
grader. Eight year olds tend tonot want to be in school, you
know, so you kind of hadto sit up there with him and make
sure he stays focused, make surehe stays own task, which you know,

(06:32):
that's just born for me. Ithink it would be born for anybody.
You're just sitting there listening to ateacher teach a third grade class,
and that shit is not interesting.That is not interesting to me. And
y'all know me. I've talked inthe past about how easily I get bored
with just people in general. Iget bored when people are talking to me.

(06:53):
I'm damn sure going to get boredwhen nobody's talking to me, you
know, So I kind of sitthere, you know, she just kind
of on my phone a little bitand hope for the best. But yeah,
and then um, when I geta break, you know, when
when Sebastian settles in, then Ican kind of get away and go to

(07:14):
my day, which for the pastcouple of weeks has involved a lot of
reading, a lot of studying forsome projects that I'm working on, you
know, trying to rewire my damnbrain to think differently. It's not easy.
It's not easy to teach an oldold dog new tricks. It can
be done, but it's not easy. So yeah, and that's about it.

(07:38):
Um, if I could stay thefuck off Twitter and shit, I
could get more done. That's whatI need to do. I need to
get rid of that ship. ButI can't because people love it. They
love my nonsense. Probably you guyslistening follow me on there, because you
know it's just nonsense all day long. But that's how my brain works.

(08:00):
So I saw online the day thedeficit is higher than it's ever fucking being.
There's a shocker, big shocker.Countries broke his hell, we're all
going broke. Good times, goodtimes. Somehow a stock market is doing
well though. I saw something onGod what was it? It was something

(08:24):
that how the stock market is itrelated the stock market to richer people?
Fuck? I forget how it goes. Hey, I ain't mentioning a joke.
I don't even remember the damn punchline. How are you going to tell
a joke and you don't remember thepunchline. I'll think about that ship in
about two hours when it does menow good anyway. Forget, Hey,

(08:48):
y'all, forget. I just saidthat. Forget. I tried to set
up a joke that I didn't havea punchline for. I think the fantasy
football season is starting soon like amighty lunar tics set to make their debut.
When is it? When is thefucking game? The person I'm playing

(09:09):
against his team? Is he namedhis team a team has no name,
which is a reference to Game ofThrones, which went off the air a
couple of years ago. So yeah, good job there, good job with
that up to date creativity. Letme see if it has a damn schedule?

(09:30):
When is this game? Does itstart this weekend? Maybe? Maybe
it starts to Mark Maybe I don'tknow? Shit schedule right, here's the
schedule says week one, week one, but it doesn't have a date week
one. I'm looking at the ESPNFantasy Football app, so I don't know.

(09:56):
I don't know when the week oneis. Oh well, so here's
the league. Did I tell youmy league names? Na? Fuck?
That did a lot of TV watchingU. There's a Netflix series called Away
a w A y Away, Sofar Away, and that's really good.

(10:20):
It's about there's a space shuttle missionto Mars. So it's kind of said,
like I guess in the future,but like not the far distant,
maybe like only a couple of years, it seems, and really good.
Who's the girl the main actress?Fucking Hillary Swank? It was her name?
Who I mainly remember her in thatboxing movie um with Clinis for it,

(10:46):
which was the most depressing shit I'veever seen in my life. I
remember watching that ship and I wasin a hotel and I was ready to
jump out the fucking wonder that's howdepressing that ship was. But I was
only on the second floor, soI would have just got hurt, so
I hung in there. But thisis a great cast. Hillary Swank,

(11:07):
Josh Charles, who I remember himfrom somewhere, but I don't know where,
Vivian Wou, Mark Evnar even nearwhose stars as a Russian Misha,
he might be Russian. I don'treally know. Ray Pathaka and I told
in Sando, Yeah, y'all nailedthose names, y'all. I just want

(11:28):
y'all to know, as far aspronunction Asian goes, I nailed those names.
Nailed them. But a great cast. This is really good. It's
not like two science fiction e interms of no aliens and time travel or
any kind of shit like that.They take a lot of liberties with the
iPhones in there, like people aretexting from space, which seems on the

(11:52):
surface to be a little ridiculous.Right now, Um, you know these
motherfuckers sending videos, They're almost Marssending videos. But even like they're on
the moon calling on the iPhone,calling home, I don't know about that.
I do love my iPhone, andwhen people text me and that bubble

(12:13):
shows up in green, I hateit. I don't know why I sho
do um. I love the iPhone, but uh, I mean, keep
in mind Osama bin Laden, what'scalling? Motherfucker's from inside of a cave
for twenty years? Supposedly, Inever believed that shit. Y'all don't tell
nobody, but I believed he wasdead all alone. I believe. Um

(12:37):
what else did I watch? Away? But a Way was fantastic and it's,
uh, it's emotional. You knowthey gets something because you just it
really dives into how hard it isfor people to be isolated, to be
away from their families, and allkinds of shit like that. Um,
but anyway, it was really fuckinggood. I dug it. I finished
Student Patrol season two. I wasjust for whatever reason, I forgot that

(13:01):
I was still watching it, butI had to go finish it. Man,
that that series is really damn good, just so good. I finished.
I dove into Harley Quinn season two. That's probably DC's best animated project
ever. Maybe one of the bestanimated series ever. Just fucking hysterical.
And I never in a million yearsI thought obvious sitting here telling you guys

(13:24):
that Harley Quinn the Animated Series isone of the best animated series ever.
Never thought it. It's just reallyadult and it's just so different because of
that. But it's but it's notjust that. It's not like, Hey,
they cuss in the cartoon. That'scool, that's age. It's not
just well thought out, just reallyreally jokes, incredible dialogue, great cast,
who it's all the cast. Letme let me dive into this cast

(13:46):
for you real quick, just togive you an idea. Let me take
this in the old Google box HarleyQuinn Animated Series cast. That ship came
up quick. A lot of peoplemust be checking it out all right here
to cass like, So Harley Quinnis Kelly Cuco who was in a Big
Bang Theory, Lake Bell is poisonivy. Um calendar man, oh boy,

(14:15):
calendar man. They made a startout a calendar man, I mean
calendar man. I'm thinking about kitefucking kite man is who they made a
start But calendar man isn't here too. Um is this fucking guy play both
of them. I don't Uh.Tony Hill, Ron Funches, Jason Alexander,

(14:39):
JB. Smooth, Uh, DiedricBader who I didn't even really know
that was his name. Um,Christopher Maloney, Wanda Sykes, um Giacarlo
espose Zito, who you guys willremember as the big villain in Break Bad

(15:01):
was in here. Made made someappearances, um man. Just like they
just really dig deep. They reallyextensive cast good shit. Tisha Campbell.
Tissa Campbell made another appearance up inThis Bitch. Michael Ironside, Alfred Mulina,
Wayne Knight, who was newman fromSinfield Hellmann a bitch. Uh.

(15:26):
I don't know, just some reallypowerful cast. But like I said,
the writing, the jokes, theyfire at you a minute, you know,
they firem at you rapid fire,and like sometimes and I've had to
do this a lot, like holdon, what was that? You go
back because you'll be laughing at someshit and then you missed the next joke.
So but anyway, good shit,good shit, or what else would

(15:50):
have I been watching? Um?I started something last night on Netflix.
It's like I'm thinking of ending this. It's the name of the movie.
I'm thinking of ending this and gottabe honest, I don't know what the
fuck this movie is about. Idon't know what's going on. It's real
dialogue heavy, which is fine,you know, I like diet. I'm

(16:11):
not opposed to dialogue heavy movies.You know. When I say that,
I'm talking about pulp fiction where youjust got a lot of people sitting there
on talking. Sometimes I'm fine withthat. But just a lot of weird
shit was going on and I don'tknow, and I didn't get through it
because I'm I got an hour in. I'm like, man, you know
the movies they keep advertising it,it keeps popping up on my algorithm.

(16:34):
Here's what's sucking up my Netflix algorithm. So I got separate accounts from me,
the Empress, and the kids.Right what, the Empress goes watch
Netflix on my account and she watchesher shit. Well, that messes up
my algorithm because because while we dowatch some things together, there are a
lot of things that I don't givea funk about that she watches, and

(16:56):
there's a ton of things that Iwatched it she don't give a fuck about.
So she's messing up my algorithm,and uh, I think this might
have been the case, said,but I don't know. But she because
she didn't like this movie either.This movie didn't fit neither one of our
algorithms. Motherfucker suck. That's whatthis is what in a roundabout way,
that's what I'm trying to take it. That movie sucks some ass. I

(17:18):
sucked some ass, not all theass, but you're just a little bit
of it, just a little bit. And they got in there kind of
deep too, which you know,I mean, if you're going to do
the work, do the work.But the best television that I watched this
week was Amazon Prime released the firstthree episode of The Boys and Man that

(17:41):
ship is the bomb. Digati Homelanderbeing the actor that plays Homelander is just
fucking good. Let me dig upthat cast. See, I should get
better about this about um learning castnames. I'm terrible fucking names period.
You know what I mean. PeopleI've met in the comic book industry that

(18:03):
I'm massive fans of their work,but I don't even know it's them.
Dang. I was sitting there talkingto this one guy in London, Common
cond and this motherfucker wrote V forVenderna. I'm like, huh, Like
I have to ask people like women, what did you actually do? Because
I don't know. I'm just terribleabout remembering names. And you know,

(18:23):
if you're the creator of that project, not that you're walking around begging for
credit, but you know, youcreate shit, it's nice to be acknowledged
for it. I just can't remembernobody's name. What is there? I
told you guys, I went toa doctor about this one time back in
the day, and I just now, I didn't go to the doctor specifically

(18:45):
for this. It was an overallphysical and it was something that had been
on my mind because literally, there'ssome people that can tell me their name.
Say they give me their first andlast name, they say their first
name. By the time they're tellingme their last name, I've already forgot
the first name. And it's notlike I'm seeing now like I mean,

(19:07):
I'm still functional, I still dosome really creative shit. Why the fuck
can't I remember these people? Soanyway, I brought it up to this
doctor and it's not going to knowwhat I did. This was a doctor
I went through, you know,whenever I would go to a doctor,
it would be this one. Soand there he is His idea was a

(19:32):
theory is that because of like allthe autographs that I've signed and all of
the people that I've met that Iknow I'll never see again, that I've
subconsciously conditioned myself not to remember namesbecause I knew I'm never going to remember
these people, I mean see thesepeople again. And in most cases that
is true. You know, whenyou do an autograph signing, and especially

(19:53):
when I was at my peak andit's hundreds at a time, you know,
and if I did a and allday media day where I had like
a media signing, I mean autographssigning, you know, they would try
to break them during the day.But say I had three in the day,
you know, and you got threeto four or five hundred, you
know. And I've had I've hadthem when they were really excessive, excessive

(20:15):
where I'm just signing. I lookup, I say, hey, I
get the name. I had somewith so many people that they're like,
we don't even have time to personalizethem. And I'm like, what the
fuck that sucks? Like if Ican't write the name, like that's the
whole purpose of the autograph. Youdon't want to autograph? That just says
fucking hurricane on it. You know. I mean, if you at least
get to shake my hand, Iguess that's better than not. But I
like to personalize. But anyway,if I literally recorded all of those names

(20:41):
to memory, like my mind wouldbe just full of nonsense. And trust
me, it's already full of nonsenseas it is, but at least it's
full of a lot of nonsense thatI like. And so that's that doctor's
theory that I just have. It'sa habit, it's an exercise. It's
the conditioning of my brain that Idon't remember people's names. Now, if

(21:03):
I give you a nickname, thatshit is said in stunt. If I
give you a nickname, you're good. But as far as and you know,
if I meet you repet you know, a couple of times, I'll
have it. It's not like I'llmeet you forty times and don't remember your
name. But I'm terrible about that. So the two, especially when reading
comics, you get you know,I'm a reader too, So you read

(21:26):
so many different stories, you're rememberingso many different names. And then in
comics they got a real name,they got a secret identity name, and
the authors sometimes they change a lot, and the artists sometimes they change a
lot, and I get so wrappedup into the story, like I just
want the story to be good.I don't really, It's not that I
don't care who's doing it. Ijust want the story to be good.
And so anyway, I don't know. I don't want to. I'm talking

(21:48):
about the party is. I can'tremember names, but I should. I
should make a better should make abetter effort and remember names. I do.
I try. The boys asked seasontwo because we do have a new
member, storm Front has joined thegang. Here a right, So Homelander
is Anthony Starr And that motherfucker isgood. That's a good actor. Uh,

(22:11):
the Deepest Chase Crawford, he's good. He's pretty good too. Um,
who is this person? Queen Dominique, Dominique Dominique. I would guess
Mick Elliot got nailed that name,nailed it. She's Queen mab Aaron Moriote
Morianti's son a pitch she is?Um, who does she play? What's

(22:37):
her name? What's her name?Minute starfire or something? Star? No,
hell's her name? I sucked this. I can't remember her name anyway?
Jack Quaid, Uh, Carl Urban, of course, is the man
in this ship. Um, wherethe fuck am I do? I'm gonna

(22:59):
just go to IMD because I lookedon some Google page in which trash.
What is the IMDBB? Anybody elsegot an IMDb account? Just me?
Seco lamb open IMDb account? Imean app. I didn't even know I
had to app. Oh, Iguess I do. See. This is
why you got the iPhone, gostraight to the apps. If you had
an Android, you probably still could. But I'm gonna just say for this

(23:22):
for entertainment purposes that you couldn't.I'm gonna say that. Okay, Now
I'm gonna IMDb. What the fuckis going on? Okay? Oh boy?
Who is this cast? Who arethese people? What is her fucking

(23:45):
name? She's Annie January is hername? But what is her superhero name?
That's what I'm trying to get toStarlight? Fuck ediot idiot. A
Train is played by Jesse t Usher. A Train is not to be confused

(24:08):
with Prince Albert from w W Vanand he's like their flash character Mother's Milk,
which is one of the more interestingnames for a comic book character.
Ever. I think that's played byLaws Alonzo French. He is played by
Turmail cap Holm. I'm gonna justassume I said that right. Nathan Mitchell's

(24:32):
Black No Noir. Kobe Menapi Menifiplays Ashley and she's terrific in this really
good Elizabeth Shoe was Magdeline stillwell.She did not survive series one, but
she was fantastic in it. AyaCash comes in and for season two as

(24:53):
storm Front, and so far forthe first three she's been great. She
was in that show called I'm theWorst. I believe it was the fx
AM. It could have been aMC, it could have been a MC,
but I'm almost positive it was FEXshow. She was fucking great in
that. Um So yeah, butanyway, that's the boys and and uh

(25:17):
so Espanito um Gia. Carlos Suppositois who I was just talking about.
Had had a little run in theHarley Quinn series and it was also you
know, Gus Freeman and Breaking Bad. He's now he's a big hill in
season two and this dude, justhis delivery, the way he talks is

(25:44):
man, he's just bad. He'sgot a way of just staring at you,
not staring at you, but likewithout even saying shit, just staring
at you. But you can readhis mind and you know it's bad.
You know, like you better shutthe fuck up with some bad things.
They're gonna happen. This dude,I don't know. This dude is just
badass. I dig him. Soyeah, But that's The Boys, The

(26:06):
Boys season two. If you haven'tseen season one, first of all,
how fucking dare you? How dareyou? But get on that watch season
one and then catch up with seasontwo, because I'm in love with that
fucking show. And I watched seasonone twice and I was actually thinking about
going back and watching it again.Um, that's how good it was.

(26:26):
That's how good it was. Andalso I started too before I tap out
on this segment. What was thatfucking show Lovecraft Lovecraft HBO? It wasn't
his Lovecraft Journey. The fuck isher name of baum? Lovecraft Country,
I should say. A couple ofweeks behind my boy, my boy Lloyd.

(26:49):
My boy Lloyd mentioned that one tome, and I did see some
good things about it, so Ihad to jump in on it. Lovecraft
Country on HBO. Check that shitout? And now well, and I
know there's been a lot of peopletelling me to watch fucking Cobra Kai.
I haven't watched Kaba Kai yet.I didn't watch it whenever it dropped out
on whatever, I didn't have whateverservice it was on, and now it

(27:12):
was on Netflix. I'll get toit, and I know it's great.
I mean, I trust the peoplethat are telling me it's good. I
trust their judgment. I know it'sgood. But I will say this,
fuck karate. I don't care aboutit. Actually, that's OK. I'll
get to it. I'll get toit. I did see something funny that

(27:32):
Ralph Machio was that his name saidabout the Will Smith remake of Karate Kid.
That Will Smith or Will Smith's son. He was in that new Karate
Kid, which was set in China, and he's like, they should have
called it the Kung Food Kid becausethey don't teach karate in Hong Kong.
KARATEI because from Japan, So ifyou want to go to China, you

(27:55):
need you should get a Chinese martialart. I think that was the implication
now, but I'm just guessing onthat. You know, he could have
could have had some other reasoning.But I'll get to I'll get to the
fucking karate Kid. I just getother things going on. Um so yeah,
what what else other than the KarateKid? Did Ralph? My chill?

(28:17):
Dude? I remember my cousin Vinny. He was good in that and
it was like the Outsiders, right, The Outsiders I think came before the
Karate Kid. Right. I don'tfucking know anyway, any damn way,
but yeah, so run that downaway on Netflix. Watch that ship.
I'm thinking about ending this on Netflix. Hard passed. I why were you

(28:41):
Harley Quinn animated series on? Ibelieve that's on the DC Universe app.
There might be some other way tosee it. I don't know, but
that shit must watch, even ifyou've never gotten in the animated series.
Give this one a shot. Highestpossible fucking recommendation. The Boys Through the

(29:03):
Roof one of my favorite series ofall time, and Lovecraft Country. I'm
only one episode in or Dash itlooks to be something that I will be
sticking with. So yeah, andnow, and we'll return with the Comic
Slam Podcast. They're free to you, but they're not free to do fifty
episodes deep of Highway to Helms freeof charge. But now more than ever,

(29:25):
I'm going to need your support.To keep this train rolling, So
go to Pro Wrestling Tis dot comslash Shane Helms. Also go to Collar
and Elbow Brand dot com slash ShaneHelms. I don't want donations, I
don't want handouts. I want youto get something for your money, So
pick yourself up a shirt sun.You know I got the Flyers gear in
the game. Hey guys, AfterI recorded the Comics Slam, which you're

(29:52):
about to hear, an alert cameup from the software that I use informing
me that there were parts of thesegment that didn't record. I personally feel
like that alert could have been morehelpful had had it popped up while I
was recording. But that's just me. That's just me. But I did
about half hour of the Comic Slam, so I didn't want to redo it
the little parts that didn't record,only like a second apiece, but it

(30:17):
might sound odd. Just wanted togive you the heads up. And now
it's time for the Comics Slam.Yeah. This week we got books from
DC, Marvel and a WA nonot the American Wrestling Association. Um and

(30:37):
actually we're going to start with theAWA. The Resistance number four of six
and this was brought to you byJ. Michael Strezinski on writing and Mike
Diadalo Junior on art and big fanof both of those creators. So no
surprise at all that this book continuesto be one of my faves, one
of my faves out of my poorlist at a Greg's List. There was

(31:02):
a moment when I thought about callingthe comic slam Greg'slist as a play on
words for Gregslist, and just becauseI think stupid shit like that, it
is funny, but um, soyeah, my poor list is called the
Gregslist, So yeah. And thisbook starts off as a comedian on stage
he's bombing so bad and then heshoots himself right in the fucking head.
So it's not not not a laugha minute in this book, No,

(31:26):
not at all. It gets reallydark. If you remember the Resistance of
it's about a pandemic that hit Earth, killed tons and tons of people,
and then later on people that recovered, not everyone, but some started to
develop some form of superhuman ability.Now this pisses the government's offer. If

(31:47):
not just outright pisses them off,it causes of concern because if you got
these walking, living instruments of destruction. You know, you know how the
government is, They got to bein control of any and fucking everything.
So that's kind of where the storyis leading. Now they throw in a
new caveat to this story as ameteorite hits the Earth and it's infecting people

(32:13):
and so now the governments has tostep in, and the story kind of
leads to is that what started thepandemic? They to start from this meteorite
and so was this meteorite sent hereon purpose by an outside force? So
that's where we add and now wereally get into what the resistance is.
Why this book is named the Resistancebecause a group of people have risen up

(32:38):
and now because they have the power, they will be able to stop this
government control that exists throughout the earth. So but in doing so or the
weakening our planet for an attack thatmay come from the outside. So this
story has a lot of layers,a lot of different angles going on,

(33:00):
and really well done. You know, a lot of a lot of good
dialogue. Love the dialogue and theart. Mike dear Donald Jr. If
you're not familiar with his art,really he's one of one of the best
out there. You know, thisguy this guy goes to extra effort love
his work. Always been a bigfan and so cool book. We'll be

(33:20):
going to the DC universe Superman,number four of them at the Mercy of
Fate. Now this um, ifyou will, recall, Superman goes to
Doctor Fate because Superman has revealed tothe world he's Clark Kent. He's given
up his secret identity. Now thisis a causeful concern for some people,
and Superman realizes, even himself,I want to make sure I wasn't coerced

(33:45):
into doing this. Because Superman,in case you don't know, one of
his weaknesses is magic. So it'snot just kryptonite. He's susceptible to magic.
And that's kind of a vague weaknessbecause why his magic really is magic
is kind of hard to define,so but it is something that's kind of
always existed. And in the Supermanmythos, he's susceptible to magic. So

(34:10):
David Copperfield apparently can whoop Superman's ass, and that's just how it's gonna be.
So he goes to he's in theTower of Fate, which you know
should be impenetrable, and actually,even though they're even making a mention to
this because I want to read this. There's a character named Zena Dolph.
It seether Xanna Dolph or Zennaduce,but we'll go Adolf. It is a
mysterious creature of formidable magic, offormidable magic power breaks into the impenetrable Tower

(34:37):
of faith. He breaks into.I feel like that word impenetrable there's unnecessary,
because if that shit got broken into, it must not be impenetrable.
You see what I'm saying. That'sjust me. But I'm not an editor.

(34:57):
I'm not an editor. I'm justsaying that sen don't make no damn
sense. That's like saying, youkill one immortal. If motherfucker's immortal,
how can he be killed? Um? Look at me, look at me
trying to critique. All kay,Shane, you take one comic writing class
or of course, and now you'regoing to come out here and critique exactly
that's what the comic slemmed us.But anyway, so now we got the

(35:22):
d e O, which is somekind of department of uh, I don't
fucking know, extra terrestrial affairs orout of affairs, saying that's why I
can't be an editor, because Ican't spell Um. There's a guy in
here with a skull ahead. They'slike doctor Director Bones. I like,
I like people with skullheads. Andthere's not many, you know, you

(35:43):
got you got the fuck Um theghostwriter, and you got Skeletor, and
you got Director Bones. Not alot of people. You got death in
Marvel comics. Depending on who's lookingat it, most people see a hooded
female figure with a go ahead.Fanners looks at her. Dannis, Yeah,
he gets the google ears, youknow what I'm saying. But yeah,

(36:08):
we get an appearance Supergirl, Marsha, Man Hunter, They're all making
some appearances in this book. DoctorFade and Superman do Battle, do Battle
most severe with this Zan the deathcharacter, and it's good. There's a
couple of points in here where itseems like Superman is trying to be funny,
which comes off odd to me.They're kind of like dad jokes how

(36:31):
they come off, you know,like not even that funny. But it
is what it is. It tearswhat it is. But the art in
this book is absolutely fantastic. ThatI mentioned who the artist was, because
the writer is Brian Michael Bendis.The artist is Kevin McGuire. And John
Tams and uh, they really theyreally tear it up. Art color inks

(36:52):
inks, and everything looks really goodon this and then there's a cool there's
a cool moment in this book wheredoctor a Fade kind of inhabits Superman's body
to use his powers to fight thisguy, and you see Superman with the
helmet of Fade on, which Ithought was a really cool visual visual.

(37:13):
We're getting in appearance by Justice LeagueDark. In Justice League Dark, if
you see them, that means youget to see the Detective Champ and we
all know I love Detective Chimp.So yeah, really good, pretty good,
you know, not really good,but pretty good, and I was
entertained by it. Anyway. Movingon, this is Marvel Captain Marvel nineteen,

(37:34):
and this continues the Empire story.This Empire story is kind of dragging
on a little bit for me,and I think it's it's just so heavy
on the plant like the main villainsare plant people, and it's just you
know, the plans versus the meat. Like this is just like a really

(37:54):
isn't like a vegan conversation to hislike and you know the joke, how
do you know a person's a vegan? Just wait two minutes, and I'll
tell you there's just a lot ofa lot of those plant jokes that just
aren't funny, you know, especiallyafter I don't know how long this storyline
has been going on, but itseems like it's been going on a while.

(38:15):
Now, I did I do didthese big get together crossovers when you
got you know, all the teamsand their Avengers and all that ship.
But anyway, this one kind ofthis is a Captain Marvel issue, and
in the last issue, she wentto some planet and just luckily discovered her
half sister. Wow, what arethe coincidences all the way across the universe?

(38:38):
Now she took her sister back toher half sister back in the Earth
where she's being looked after by thatcat, that crazy cat from the Captain
Marvel movie that coughed up the Cosmiccube, the one who scratched Nick Fury's
eye, that stupid ass shit.I love casts with that whole thing,
which is fucking ridiculous, but theykind of do a throwback to it some

(39:00):
really cute moments in the book whereyou got this alien on Earth. And
what I thought was really funny wasthat she was looking for food for the
cat. Just imagine you're on analien planet. You don't know what anything
is. You know, you don'tknow if this is this kind of food?
I don't know, you know,is this human food? I don't
know? Can I eat this?You know? I actually thought that was
a pretty witty that he did.That. She's picking up some kind of

(39:20):
money. She doesn't know what moneyreally is, currency is, but she's
gonna go try to feed the cat. At some point, of course,
she gets attacked by the plant people. Y'all, y'all, y'all, we
gotta have fucking plant people. ThenCarol Denvers, who was in space,
somehow makes it back to Earth superfast. That's kind of one of those
weird things too. Can you justmake it to Earth from all across the

(39:45):
universe and in a couple of minutes? It seems seems odd. But she
goes to see Doctor Strange, andfor a second, we get this really
cool shot of doctor Strange holding theAccuser hammer and that just looks bad ass
to me. Captin marvel Is,she's assembled to a new team of war
Machine, has Mad and Spider Woman, and so in what Doctor Strange does

(40:08):
is he somehow creates these magical versionsof the Accuser helmet I mean helmet the
accuser hammer and hands him to thenew team. And so you get to
see this really good art of DoctorStrange doing magic shit. So I guess
Doctor Strange, but fu Superman up, I'm just guessing um. And then
the Carol Corpse Corps I should sayc O rps now corpse, the Carol

(40:30):
Corps is going to go after Iguess whoever's in the Empire story, but
I don't know. I thought theart was really fantastic, and the story
is okay, you know what Imean, some really goofy moments, but
overall I really enjoy Captain Marvele andhave for quite a bit. We'll be
on Marvel. This is X Forceeleven, and I haven't read any of

(40:52):
the X Force since this new youknow, era of the X Men has
started. But this cover got mebecause on the cover is Colossus going hand
to hand, hand to hand calmback with Omega Red. Now that that's
what made me by this book,because Colossus is my favorite X Men.

(41:14):
I know I told you people thathave not If you forgot, that's on
you. Colossus is my favorite XMen and Omega Red is just a badass
villain, cool to shit. However, Omega Red ain't in this fucking book.
That's some false advertisement. That's whyI about to I picked this ship
up specifically to see Colossus versus OmegaRed. Omega Red. There ain't high

(41:40):
nor hair of this motherfucker in thisbook. What kind of shit is that?
However, that being said, thatbeing said, I didn't enjoy the
story. It starts off there's somebody'syou know, the X Men all live
on this island now called Traca,and the island is alive. The island

(42:00):
is kind of a plant person too. Somebody in Marvel is a fucking vegan
and they're really proud of it,and they want us to them so.
And the thing is too I shouldthrow this to understand a little bit.
On this island, any of themutants that get killed to get brought back
to life. So death is ofno consequence. Dying is of no consequence,

(42:22):
which takes out some of the jeopardy. But and it's a little morbid
because you just there's a lot ofdeath. And it was one of the
reasons I took a break from comicsa few years back, which because I
was just tired of seeing everybody todie. I thought that ship was sad.
But anyway, there's a stack offucking bodies laying around and it's like

(42:42):
not it's supposed to be kind ofa hospital lab, but it's inside of
a cave, so don't look verysanitary. I gotta be honest, But
you got the Beast in here,who is my least favorite X Men,
or at least one of them.I just never cared about the Beast except
for in the movie when he wasplayed by Kelsey Grammer. That shit,
I thought was cool. He's justone of those characters that might play out

(43:04):
on the screen better than he doesin the books. He's just a furry
blue doctor. I don't understand thatship. So anyway, they got these
bodies, and when they cut upthe body, another little body jumped out
inside. So what it turns outis that these bodies, which were from
Russia are there's these Russian doll toysthat they're kind of antiques, and this

(43:28):
is real life, not just inthe book. This is real life.
There are these dolls that they're kindof the shape of like bowling pins,
like the body of the bowling pinlike here, How is it hard to
describe? You know what those redsolo cups are? Take a red solo
cup and put another one on top. Don't stack them with ones underneath.
Take the one on top and turnit upside down so they're on top,

(43:49):
you know, like that you're holdingthe bottom cup up, you know how
it's supposed to be, but thetop cups upside down on top. Okay,
Now, a Russian doll. Whenyou split it apart, there'll be
another exact duplicate of that dog onthe inside, but only a little smaller.
That's how it fit inside. Andthen you open that one and there's
a smaller one inside. And thenyou open that one and there's a smaller
one inside, and it goes onfor eternity. So these bodies that are

(44:14):
in this lab are kind of likethat. Whenever you destroy one, there's
another tiny one inside, and they'reall pink and sticky and gross looking.
They look fucking nasty, which waskind of the desired result, I mean
desired effect. I'm guessing. Oh, you know, I need to mention
this book was written by Benjamin Percy, art by Baza law Dua nailed it.

(44:38):
Then we get a really good visualof the savage land and as now,
the backgrounds on this really good too. Whoever says this Domino and she's
looking at Colossus. He's farming.He's own a wait for it, far
I see my favorite X man isnow a farmer. He's kind of always

(45:00):
been but mainly here. So Ithink that's pretty go. I don't know,
I don't know why. And basicallyDomino is going to tell Colossus,
hey, we need you to gofight Colossus. It's like, I don't
want to fight no more. Y'allmotherfucker's are driving me crazy. I need
a break. And she's like,no, you don't. We need you
to kick somebody's ass. And he'slike, I just want to farm,
and she's like, fuck farming.But he's like, I love farming,
and she's like fucking. But anyway, that's the gist of the conversation.

(45:22):
I think they might have wrote ita little bit better than how I just
delivered it. But that's the gist. But low and behold, because of
these little Russian people that are attackingthe island, Colossus is called back into
action. So here he goes,and he goes from his human form to
his metal form starts whooping ass isthis cool ash splash page of the Eggs

(45:46):
men just in combat. You gotNightcrawler popping in. Who the fuck is
this in the background. I don'teven know who that is. You got
the best szipping around. You gotEggs twenty three, who's Whooper and his
daughter? You got Jubilee Storm whippingup. Then I say it Storm.
You gotta get a little bit ofJean Gray action, a little bit of

(46:08):
Monica in my life, a littleJean Gray on the side, a little
white queen in the sheets because youknow, cyclops of freak. So yeah,
so all kinds of crazy shit goingon. Really funny scene where somebody,
one of the little Russian doll peopleget stumped on and somebody goes,

(46:30):
I'm beginning to suspect something is afoot. It's a really stupid joke. But
that shit, that one got me, That one't tickle me. We get
an appearance by Professor X with hisfucking big ass helmet on, and so
one of the little invaders goes andgrabs the sword that's kind of floating in
the air above a rock. Lookskind of like X caliber, but it's

(46:51):
not stuck into the rock. It'sjust hovering above it, blade pointed down.
This guy goes and fucking snatches it. Now he's on the run.
Flashback to Colossal swooping, more ass, and then we get this scene in
the woods where this one dude comessneaking out the bushes, pulling up his
pants, and then he comes outone of the female X men out of

(47:14):
the other bush. These muss frolicing. Now far being from me, I'm
just let me just say I amnot above a good frolic, and as
a matter of fact, I lovea good frolic. So they're frolicking in
the woods. She's one of thosecuckoo girls, the blonde the triplets,

(47:35):
the fucking psychic girls, and theycreak me the fuck out. But anyway,
one at the time they're okay,but them triplets did they wait?
So anyway she leaves. This guy'sall jumping for joy because you know he
just did his work right, youknow. But they were in the woods,
and I gotta be honest, youknow, you don't want to that's
not really the place that might seemlike a good idea in a fantasy type
scenario, but woods are dirty.You know, you need to be clean,

(47:58):
you need be on some sheets,you know what I mean, need
be hotel, That's what I'm saying. Anyway. So he's just sitting there
in his in his afterglobe. Thismotherfucker's right through the chest and then he
gets taken and some guy in ared cape gets this sword and I think
this might be Sebastian Shaw. Icould be mistaken, but this sword is
called the Cerebro sword. Cerebro isthat machine that Xavier uses to locate other

(48:24):
movies move mutants. Cerebro is alsoMatt Riddle's favorite X Men character, if
you don't get that joke. Okay, So now moving on Marvel, this
is the Avengers Empire. I don'tknow what book this says, X Man
Avengers X Man Empire. Fuck somany of these Empires stories. There is

(48:47):
a lot of crazy shit going on. But we see those Dogs of War,
which is the Wakandan secret Police.So they basically looked like the Black
Panthers outfab but it's all white,which is pretty cool. We get some
appearance by the Warriors three, yougot the Avengers to captain American here kicking
some asks. You get the coolshot of the Black Panther, which hits

(49:08):
a little differently after Chadwick Boseman passed. But you know, I'm still a
cool still always gonna be a greatcharacter. I saw some people online that
were petitioning that the Marvel Universe doaway with Tachala since Chadwick Boseman passed,
and I'm like, man like,I don't know about all that. He

(49:29):
did not create the character of Tachala. He just he was an actor that
played the role. I understand thisloss just happened, and it's you know,
it's still raw. But listen,you know, we didn't kill the
Joker just because he's Ledger died,So you don't want to take away opportunities
from you know, future actors toplay the role of Tachala. You know,

(49:50):
I don't think that's the answer.You know, there's a lot of
ways to honor Chadwick Boseman, andrightfully so, but I don't think killing
off ta Chala is the I don'tknow, to me, that doesn't feel
like the thing to do. Andanyway, so the Black Panther is in
full control here leading his team,and there's all kinds of more plant people

(50:12):
action going on to fighting the plantpeople will get in the parts of Wonder
Man, who's maybe my favorite Avenger, but he's been really neutered in this
book. He's a pascifist. Hedoesn't want to fight him and him and
him and Colossus. Neither one ofthese motherfuckers want to fight him on one.
They just go have tea Huh suitup guys. Uh, then we

(50:34):
get some You get the Black Knightin here. I like the Black Knight
visually, but I just don't understandhow he's an Avenger, you know.
I mean, like all the jokesthat people make about all these super teams
that have an archer in there,because I mean, let's be honest,
a bow and error in a regularfight not not that practical, much less

(50:54):
than a super fighter. But thismotherfucker just got a sword, even though
it's sex caliber. I don't know. Uh So, Yeah, this is
mainly this book mainly focuses on Kazarand his wife Shanna and their love,
the unrelenting love that they have foreach other, and so I mean,

(51:15):
it is what it is. Youknow, they love each other, but
we already knew that. But thisissue ends up with kats Are taking one
through the chat to his ass getsstabbed a death too. There you go.
See, how am I gonna letmy kids read these comics? Everybody
get murdered. So anyway, butthat was a decent book. I enjoyed
some of the action and the artistfantastic. So now moving on to this

(51:38):
is Avengers fantastic for Marvel Empire fivewritten by who is this written by Al
Euing and Dan Slot and artists isValerio Shata. And this is the main
This is the main Empire book.The other ones I just talked about were,
you know, I don't know,I don't know what the fuck I'm

(51:59):
saying, But this is the mainbook. So this starts off and this
kind of focuses a little bit onweekend and the hockling because the the end
of the last issue of four isthere was this big reveal that they got
married, and that was supposed toI mean, I guess it was supposed
to be a cliffhanger, not becausepeople didn't know they were married. I

(52:19):
hope they weren't going for that tobe a shock ending because they were a
gay marriage. I hope that thatshould I feel like that shouldn't be shocking,
but maybe to some people it stillfucking is I don't know, but
this would kind of get more intotheir relationship, you know, the Whokling
and Wakened, the I mean,the two two really cool last characters here

(52:40):
too, especially when you see Weakengetting all badassed up. But he knows
that the whole Ling that's leading thescroll Cree Empire. He feels that it's
not his Hockling. He feels likeit's not his husband. He don't know
something isn't miss and he feels itin his heart. And so anyway,

(53:00):
we cut to a scene she Hopedis whooping the Thing's ass. I mean,
she is fucking him up. TheThing is my favorite member the Fantastic
Four, so all my favorite membersare just getting sucked up. Anyway,
she's whooping his ass and so butthen there's a good there's a good little
couple of panels of the Thing comingback, making his big comeback. Because

(53:24):
then this is not the she Hopethat we know her corpse she's been killed,
she got killed a couple of issuesback, and then when of these
fucking planning people reanimated her corpse corpseand it's living through her and making her
do shit like a zombie. Soshe's a she hoped zombie and telling the

(53:45):
thing to give up, and he'slike, did you say give up?
And then he cuts a promo ownerand starts whooping that ass, and he
calls himself the Immortal Thing. That'swhat I'm talking about, laid him down,
being grim. And so anyway,now we're back to the Black Panther
running shit. He gets stabbed throughthe damn chess. Marvel is not afraid

(54:07):
to stab a motherfucker through the chest. I'm gonna tell you. That's who
we got to do. From thex Men. I don't remember his damn
name, but he got stabbed.Kazar took one through the chest. And
now the Black Panther all of himright through the damn chess. And so
now we got the plant people.The leader of the plant People's there.
We go back. Now we're onthe flagship of the Cree Squirrel Alliance where

(54:31):
the Hokling guy is the Emperor Hockling. And but then he shows up.
We can shows up, but hebrings in from one of the prison sales.
He brings in the real Hockling whohas been a prisoner. So who
he is, this Emperor Hockling whois the impostor, you know, And
when he bring in the real Hocklingwho's been in prison, he's got this

(54:52):
mental mask on his face that itvisually looks cool as shit. It kind
of looks a little bit like DoctorDoom's mask, but it's kind of a
throwback to there's a famous story theman in the Iron Mask of I feel
like it's a prince or a kingthat was the rightful heir to the throne,
and they put this iron mask onhim and put him in the tower
to hide him away so that peoplewouldn't know. And anyway, then you

(55:15):
got this big battle that's about togo forth between the impostor Emperor and the
real Hokling and all of that ship. So the story, while dragging on,
gets really good once you get pastthe whole plant plant versus meat,
horse shit. The actual story doesdoes have layers. Then at the end,

(55:37):
there's this big machine that the creedpeople have set off that is going
to blow up our son, andif that happens, of course the earth
gets fucking done. And yeah,a lot going on with the empire.
But like I said, I onceyou get past the plant versus Meat shit.

(55:57):
It has been enjoyable. And tofinish up this week of the comic
Slam, I'm a wrapping back upwith another Awa book, Hotel with two
l's. But in the panel youcan't really see the O and the T,
so it kind of spells out hellthis this is four or four,
So this is wrapping up this littlemini series. This book has just been
really good. Um, you know, writers, John Lee's artist is dollar

(56:22):
Boy Tyler Jacques, and I'm prettysure that was fucking terrible. But this
is a horror comic and it iscreepy, eerie. It's unselling at times.
And while they'll work three previous issuesand even this fourth one, there's
four little short stories that have intertwininglittle elements there and they all kind of

(56:43):
wrap up here, and the coverageis creepy of shit. They got this
like it looks almost like a PennyWise type clown but without the fucking red
hair hair and it shows. It'sjust really good. It's like the Psycho
Hook the Norman Bates Hotel, butit's a eie place that draws evil to
it. And I don't know,it's four issues, so if you if

(57:06):
you're looking for something creepy. Ifyou're looking for something scary that's not of
the norm, uh, you know, like I say, and it's more
psycho Steve. This is a StephenKing vibe or Alfred Hitchcock vibe. Is
what you're going to get from thisbook. And I can't give any much
more of a you know, acompliment than that. Really fantastic art,

(57:27):
the great, really great story.This one is kind of an exorcism going
on in the story, which ofcourse why not. But it's really well
done. You know. A WA. They've only put out I think six
or seven different titles Resistance, it'smy favorite by far, but this comes
up at number two, easily numbertwo, and it's and I wish it
was going on four or four.Man, I need, I need more

(57:47):
of this. But yeah, aWA Hotel, So yeah, that wraps
it up, man. So Idon't know. It was an interesting There
were some good reads, you know, I love Resistance. Resistance is such
a deep story, deep layers,a lot of characters and just a great

(58:09):
dialogue. Superman wasn't bad, andthat was Superman Issue twenty four wasn't bad,
but it was just kind of amove along type story, you know,
nothing, nothing else. But Ilove Carol Denvers as Captain Marbour,
and I love that she has thataccuser hammer. I just I don't know
that book is. It's doing itfor me, y'all X force. Even

(58:30):
though it didn't, it was effective. This false advertisement was effective because it
made me by the book and I'minterested in what happens next. But y'all,
motherfucker's owe me some omega rid.I am going to say that the
Empire, you know, that storyis dragging on a little bit. I'm

(58:52):
ready for a conclusion. And Idon't give a fuck about the planting people.
I can't stress that enough. That'sjust how it bees. And hotel
from Awa fan fucking tastic. Soyeah, that about wraps it up.
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(01:00:19):
back and they love the mask.You'll get compliments on the mask as well.
Color and Delbo brand dot Com,which not only sponsors this podcast,
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(01:00:40):
we gotta keep this train rolling.Appreciate you guys the most. Also,
don't forget Gooi Kicks on Instagram puttingout the flyest kicks in the game,
and they bring to you every weekthe song of the week. And you're
about to hear that now. Sothanks to everybody for traveling with me once
again on the highway to Hell.You're here, Rod, motherfucker's killed man

(01:01:04):
fighting the war on drugs. Onebrutality case at a job. Girl,
you can't even call the shit ofwar? Why not wars end. I'm

(01:01:24):
about to take this speet and teachyou about the agonias defeat and this football
game in the street and know whenit ain't too hand touched, just rough
tackle with niggas ball in your blockand they busts at you. It feels
full of players and they're all tryingto score. The whole team sits on
the bench in the town hall.There's no matter the weather, the game.
Don't stop competing with other teams andrain on top your offense. Gotta

(01:01:45):
get cats with no conscience, nononsense, niggas with no options that know
how to carry that rock, maketheir hand off and run off the block.
It's hard to get first down themwhen you knew in this rough time
you sell a pounds, it's atouchdown, and nigga see the pigskin.
They blast cops, the federal agentsdressed his mascots. Niggas whole weight,

(01:02:06):
but it's not forliffing. The onlywhite lines is the ones nigga sniffing.
No one sounds a bit different.The only quarter is a quarter. Key
go in the penalty it ought tobe. And the concession stand is so
sick serving you. The cat rattingdoor up on a stick. But if
you ask why somebody got slaying,y'all, it's just an unfriendly game.
The game don't stop. Cats keepplaying. Something got hit the card and

(01:02:29):
wound up banging out in the field, but the fans keep playing. Understand
what I'm saying. It's just anunfriendly game. And y'o's Monday night.
We also watch the game ship,but I can go outside and still see

(01:02:50):
the same ship. Because look,there's a bunch of niggas in the huddle
up. Looks like they calling theplay. Come in, kids, don't
be all in the way, becausethat's spooky. He the fucking quarterback,
because he liked to use the Shotgune. If he don't, I know,
we got one. And that's thefucking running back because he always say don't
quit and he always lined up runningback. The rest of them, I'll
just say they played the line becausethey like to protect Pookie and for who
he make them stay in line,and if they make a wrong move,

(01:03:12):
they penalized. Not by the referee, but bout Cookie brother Jeffrey and jeff
don't touch ship. He's sitting towatch overseas the whole blot from his own
private luxury box. He don't wantto make the deals happen, smoking big
cigars while the stars is in thefield scrapping. But tonight they line,
the scrimmage got penetrated, the blockgot raided, and everybody got traded.
Now they wearing stripes in the pinges. That's how the game go,

(01:03:34):
Nigga, you don't know pot lights. A ten twelve Tontown truck raid.
The cartel known on the streets atthe Sharks was transporting large amounts of man
Juanna and ship meant up Little Leaguefor the fall equipment. There's a new
team and from out of town.What's the sound out of the front line.
Nigga stayed ready for the blitz,Sonny, so you won't make a
sack of money and let me now. And then somebody drops the ball and

(01:03:58):
the next team be right dad totake it all. Now, somebody news
trying to make a store in yourterritory. It's the same old story.
And if you want your cornerback,you better wherever best, just in case
you gotta catch it bullet to thechest. Believe me, that ship can
be a humble fingers. Every quarterbackin this league's a gunslinger. The halftime
shows kind of ill hurt rat bitchesdancing to Drew Hill. Another nigga down,

(01:04:21):
and now a crackhead with no name. Y'all. It's just an unfriendly
game. The gain' don't stop.Cats keep playing. Something got hit hard
and wound up the laying out inthe field, but the fans keep playing,
understanding what I'm saying. It's justan unfriendly game. Wh