October 23, 2020 • 48 mins
On episode 68 of Highway2Helms, “The Hurricane” Shane Helms discusses Fantasy football, the Dallas Cowboys as “America’s Team,” the Bucs with Brady and Gronk, UFC and Ortega vs. Zombie, Miley Cyrus’ cover of The Cranberries “Zombie,” the new Adam Sandler movie, Jeffrey Toobin’s Xoom snafu, and George Costanza with the cleaning lady!
And in the week’s Comic Slam, the books and characters discussed included in Shane’s “dubious notes” are Batman: Three Jokers, Swamp Thing, Deceased, Super Boy, The Orville, Conspiracy, Hercules, Marvel Boy, and more!
Check out "The Hurricane" Shane Helms Pro Wrestling Tees store at prowrestlingtees.com/shanehelms and get Hurricane shirts and masks, 3 Count shirts, a new Gregory Helms shirt and more!
Support H2H’s returning sponsor Real Good Foods! Healthy and delicious breakfast sandwiches, pizza, stuffed chicken entrees and more! Go to realgoodfoods.com and see what stores you can purchase them at nearby, or order off of the website and use the code HELMS for 15% off!
And in the week’s Comic Slam, the books and characters discussed included in Shane’s “dubious notes” are Batman: Three Jokers, Swamp Thing, Deceased, Super Boy, The Orville, Conspiracy, Hercules, Marvel Boy, and more!
Check out "The Hurricane" Shane Helms Pro Wrestling Tees store at prowrestlingtees.com/shanehelms and get Hurricane shirts and masks, 3 Count shirts, a new Gregory Helms shirt and more!
Support H2H’s returning sponsor Real Good Foods! Healthy and delicious breakfast sandwiches, pizza, stuffed chicken entrees and more! Go to realgoodfoods.com and see what stores you can purchase them at nearby, or order off of the website and use the code HELMS for 15% off!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Do you want to go behind thescenes at World Championship Wrestling and find out
what really happened from one of thegreatest minds in the history of the business,
the infamous booker behind WCW's success withthe New World Order. Other podcasts
weren't there. Let's clean up thefantasy bullshit, give you real facts and
(00:22):
real stories with the Testmaster himself.Yes, this is Testmaster Talks with Kevin
Sullivan, available on the Creative ControlNetwork. Somebody Harry Cops dot down.
(01:00):
He started, you're looking for you'relooking for? Greetings, salutations? What
(01:21):
it is? God damn Welcome citizens. It's Shane Hurricane Helms coming through with
another episode of Highway to Helms,episode sixty eight to be exact. For
my long term listeners, thanks forsticking with it. For my new listeners,
you am for some nonsense because thisshit don't make no sense, and
(01:42):
that's what nonsense means. So yeah, I gotta start off with some bullshit.
My undefeated fantasy football team undefeated nolonger. Man, damn, my
team vastly underperformed. They needed thatblue you they just couldn't perform. Uh
Yeah, they fucking sucked. Theystunk. It up this week. I
(02:05):
don't know what happened. I knowwhat happened, and fucking Ezekiel Elliott is
what happened. Listen. I knowfor many years we've been dealing with these
bullshit Dallas Cowboys being referred to asAmerica's team. Well now they really are
America's team because America is a flaming, fucking dumpster power right now, and
so is the Dallas Cowboys. Sofinally, yeah, finally your America's team
(02:31):
when America is at its worse.Man, they stunk it up? Why
why would they do it? Idid watch, though, I did watch
Tampa Bay played this week. Igot to kick out of that. You
know, I've been a time Bradyfan for a long time, so seeing
him in Gronk Reconnect, I thoughtthat was pretty cool. Gronk's first touchdown
(02:51):
in Tampa Bay, his first touchdownyou know, about two years I guess
around that time frame anyway, Sothat was pretty cool. Cool for him,
and to hang out with him NewYear's New Year's Eve this year.
You know, when we thought thisyear was going to be cool. You
know, remember that, you guysremember that, Remember how we brought in
twenty twenty like it was gonna bethe best year ever. We were wrong,
(03:15):
all of us. We fucked up. Hum, we fucked up.
But anyway, Yeah, I thoughtthat was really good. Tampa Bay,
I thought put on a good performance, a good team. It's interesting to
see Brady go there. And stillthey were talking about it because a couple
of games before Tampa Bay just hada lot of penalties. And any of
(03:36):
my football fans know that the NewEngland Patriots, they're very they're a very
disciplined team. They don't get alot of penalties and stuff like that.
They you know, practice hard,they practice very hard. They're a very
structured team. And so it goesto Tampa Bay and they don't have that
structure, they don't have that disciplinethere. They're sucking up and Tom was
(03:59):
on the sidelines just yelling. Buthe had a much better display this past
Sunday, and that was good tosee. A good little week of NFL.
I also checked out UFC. Ican't remember the whole card. He
actually came on early. I missedmost of it, but I did get
to catch the main event. Themain event was supposed to be a barn
(04:20):
burner, A burner of Barns.But it wasn't quite that. It was
pretty one sided. Brian Ortega tcitpieced up the Korean Zombie. For those
of you that don't watch MMA.When I say pieced up, that's the
technical term for whooping somebody's ass.I don't know how technical it is,
(04:43):
but yeah, the Korean Zombie didnot look like his normal attack mode self
two reserved, I felt, andBrian Ortega looked as best as he ever
has. And that's a dangerous combination. When your opponent looks the worse and
you're their best, you're at yourbest. That's a good night for you.
(05:06):
So really good. Speaking of Koreanzombie, well, actually not Korean
zombie, just zombie, speaking ofthe word zombie. I don't know if
you guys saw this. I putit on Twitter. A couple of days
ago. Molly Cyrus did a coverof Zombies by the Cranberries and that ship
was bad ass to me in mynon musical ass. Wait, man,
(05:29):
I am, I am. Ido have a songwriting credit, so I
do have some musical background, sothat entitles me to give my opinion.
Um, I thought it was reallygood. Joe, Joe, can you
can you put that into a quickThis is a test, y'all to see
if Joe Joe even listens to thisship to put that clip in real quick
for me. So we're gonna doit in three two one bother he has
(06:32):
slowly child, slowly take on thelens cons silence, you arewing my stay.
What you say it's my nave,it's not my in your head?
(07:04):
Then their loss he lost the payyour arm shot, watch your stop shop
(08:03):
for thether mothers breaking AARTI saga overthe pilence bases. Silence, we must
be my stay down. That's thesame old night chasing in your headea that
(08:33):
you find with the change and theirsand theirs in their wards. He the
(08:54):
time shop, watching your y'allop stop. Did he do it? We'll see.
(10:45):
But I thought it was really fuckinggood. And it's one of those
things where you put that on Twitter, goes man, Hey, I like
this. It's always interesting to seewhat people come back and go. I
think it fucking sucks. There's alwayssomebody out there I hate it, all
right. You could have just putthat on your page, though you didn't
have to reply to me a strangerlike I get that with friends. I
(11:07):
get that with people, you know, really you like that anything like that?
What is it that you liked aboutthat or didn't like about it?
I see, I can have thoseconversations when it's what a total stranger to
me. It's always strange, especiallywhen it's just that because all I said
was I like this, and thensomebody's replied us it sucks somebody, all
right, thanks for thanks for theconversation. Then you really you really helped
(11:31):
out. And then you know,direct contrast to that, there was a
movie I talked about. What wasthat fucking movie? M to his name?
Adam Sandler put out this Halloween movieon Netflix and seriously five minutes saying
I tapped out, like that shitsucked, and and that's all I put
(11:52):
in and saying I was tried towatch it five minutes saying I tapped out.
I didn't even say it sucked.But obviously that's implied. If I
tapped out in five minutes, theship must not have been good. Unless
they're talking about something else, thenit might be really good. That's what
you got to tap quick, youknow what I'm saying. But yeah,
and then it was amazing the repliesI got to that because there were some
(12:13):
people that's like they watched it twice. This guy's like, yeah, me
and my woman watched it twice,and I was like twice, I couldn't
get through five minutes of this ship. It was like comedy like if you've
never seen a comedian on stage bombLike, there's just like how you feel
embarrassed for them. It was likethat. But I was watching it by
(12:33):
myself. If you're watching some shipby yourself and you still feel embarrassed,
that's that's bad. That means somethingis not good. And so but people
is like, yeah, you gotto get through the first little bit.
And then it really gets funny becausehe kind of dives back into some of
the characters from his older movies,guest appearances, like from what were They
(12:58):
Fucking Happy? Gil Moore, BillyMatters. So maybe I'll go give it
another shot. We'll see, ButI know the first couple of minutes of
that movie was just dumb as fuckingI'm talking about listen. I understand Adam
Sandler's comed I understand his style.So it's not like I went into this
ship expecting Bill Burr. I understandwhy Adam Sandler does and still what's that?
(13:26):
What's not impressed? But I mighthave to go give it the shot
because you know, you just justyou know, speaking of some fucked up
ship. There's this nice little transition. Did y'all hear the story? There's
a dude from CNN, I thinkit was like CNN or The New Yorker
or something. He's on this zoomcall right with all these people and dudes
(13:46):
over there with his deck out ocranking it am I supposed to say penis
um And so he had to putout this apology like he didn't know that
the camera was own or some shitlike that. But it's like that's his
apology. He didn't know the camerawas on, Like were you still over
(14:07):
there handling your business during a businesscall? Like that's that's not normal?
Right? Oh man, this dudeis done. At least he's done at
that job. I don't even knowif they fired he probably not. He
probably get away with it. Motherfuckerjust had to touch himself. And so
(14:28):
anyway, I put up on Twittertwo there was a clip. Here's another
one for Joejoe if you can findit, this will be a big test.
There's a scene from Seinfeld with GeorgeCastanza. Costanza has sex with the
office cleaning lady on his desk,and like he gets fired for it.
And I can't remember exactly what hesays, but when the boss is asked
(14:50):
him about it, George just goes, is that wrong? Should I not
have done that? Always remember thatthat was just I really got to plead
ignorance on this one. It wassome shit like that. Anyway, Jojo,
if you can find that and putthat in right here in three two
one, I'm gonna get right tothe point. It's come to my attention
(15:15):
that you and the cleaning woman haveengaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in
your office. Is that correct?Who said that she did? Was that
wrong? Should I not have donethat? I tell you, I gotta
plead ignorance on this thing, becauseif anyone had said anything to me at
(15:39):
all when I first started here thatthat sort of thing was frowned upon.
Because I've worked in a lot ofoffices, and I tell you people do
that all the time. You're fired. I didn't have to say it like
that. I want you out ofhere by the end of the day.
(16:08):
What about the whole Christmas spirit thing? Any flexibility. There. See,
we're gonna see, We're gonna seehow well Joe Julie is paying attention.
So anyway, what else did Ido this week? As far as watching
TV? I finished up Ratchet onNetflix. Nurse Ratchet. That's a character
(16:32):
from One Flue Over the Cuckoo's NestsNest, a famous movie starring Jack Nicholson,
one of his earlier ones. Thatreally uh, that was really about
his rise to prominence, you know, and so just takes a character from
there. I finished that. Ithought that was pretty decent. You know,
Sarah Paulson's a good actress. Sheloves to cry them. That's I
mean, every episode somebody's crying.Um. I watched a couple more episodes
(16:56):
of The Good Place. I'm stillvery entertained by that show. Lighthearted,
you know, sometimes you just needsome lightheartedness. That one's a good one.
White Else, there's a movie onHulu called Lowlife. I got to
recommend this one to you guys.It's a damn luchad like. It would
keep popping up like on the suggestions. However, that algorithm works, and
(17:21):
it's a dude wearing a luchadoor mask. Old school like a kind of like
mister Wrestling number one, number twowhatever that old school looked. But it's
all red with like gold trim aroundthe eyes and nose and mouth, and
it just looked like it would beterrible. But there's a really there's almost
(17:41):
a Napoleon dynam might vibe to itin in terms of humor, and there
was some really good pops man therewas. For me, it was a
scene because the luchadoor guy's pretty funny. I can't even remember his fucking name,
his gimmick name El Monstro or somethinglike that, Monstrous or some shit
like that. But like the scenethat killed me the most is like,
(18:04):
there's this dude, he's he's anAfrican American black guy, person of color,
and he's waiting to get a friendout. Here's a white dude that's
in jail and he's waiting to gopick him up. He's getting released from
jail. He'd been in there fora couple of years or some shit ten
years, and so he's just waitingfor his friend to get out to pick
him up. And when the whitedude comes walking, he's got a big
(18:25):
swastica tattooed on his face and hejust gets in the car like everything's cool.
We just starts talking and he's gotkind of an eminem vibe to him,
and he's just sitting there talking like, Yeah, what's up, man,
goes man, so glad to seeyou. Man, Man, it's
time to hit the streets all thiskind of shit and a black guys just
looking at it and were like,what the fuck is up? And it
is just fucking hilarious. And thenthey finally he explains that he had to
(18:49):
do it to survive inside and anyway, they're getting some kind of argument another
dude, what the white dude isgonna just go walking down the street and
dudes like, you can't walk aroundthe street with that ship on your face.
He's like, wow, man,people ain't like that. Don't worry
about it. And the next thingyou know, he's just getting his asshood.
(19:11):
Oh, this ship was funny.I dug that that was. That
was pretty damn good and I enjoyedthem. Another little movie I checked out
was called Spell. I believe thiswas This might have been an Amazon Prime
one. Uh could have been ahul I need to write down what device
(19:32):
I saw these owns. I believethis was an Amazon Prime, and the
premise here is, following the deathof his fiance, an American illustrator embarks
on the soul searching journey across theisolated Icelandic countryside, only to become drawn
into a supernatural world of ancient roomsand secrets. Or is it all in
(19:55):
his mind? I thought this wasgood. I really liked the premise behind
it. It's a budget films,so um, you know, they had
to kind of keep things a littlesimplistic. But I actually enjoyed that fucking
movie. We watched The Kitchen.I believe this was also on fucking Amazon
(20:15):
Prime. Could have been a HuluI don't know, but it's like three
nineteen seventy Hill's Kitchens. Housewives takeover the family business after their mobster husbands
are sent to prison. Not bad, you know, not great, not
bad. It happened. One ofmy favorites of the weekend is Palm Springs,
(20:40):
and that was on Hulu starting it, said Adam Adam Sandberg, Andy
Sendberg, the guy from Brooklyn nineand nine, whatever the fucker's name is.
I really like him. I likehim so much. I don't know
his fucking name, Andy Senburg,Adam Sendburg, I think it's Adam Sendberg.
Anyway. I think that guy's funny, and this movie is kind of
like a groundhog Day type movie whereit we live in the same day over
and over, but there's a twistto it. And I really enjoyed this
(21:04):
movie. I thought there are somereally good laughs. Adam Sandberg, if
that is his real name, I'ma fan of that guy, so I
really enjoyed that one. The lastthing on TV I wanted to talk about
was I touched on this one lastweek. It's a show called One Mississippi
and this is on Amazon Prime andit starting is comeding named Tignagarrow. Now
(21:27):
this is quite unlike anything I've suggestedto you guys before. Tigna Garrow is
she has had breast cancer, I'mguessing, and she had I don't know
the medical term for this, butshe had both the breasts removed, and
like she even shows it in theshow, takes off a shirt in front
(21:48):
of the mirror and it's like,I've never seen that before, So you
know, it's a bit shocking,But at the same time, you can't
help but respect her for being braveenough to do that, because I don't
think a lot of women would likeI say, I've never seen it,
and then again, I don't knowwhy I would see it, So there's
that side of the argument. Butit was just it was powerful for her
(22:11):
to do that, you know,and just like, man, wow,
okay, this is Anna. Thisis gonna be a really honest show,
really raw. And so she's ofthe lesbian community and that's a part of
it, but it also it's justwho she is, and I really enjoyed
that it wasn't it wasn't this bigpride thing or a pride parade type things,
(22:32):
like she just happens to be alesbian and you see, you get
more comfortable with it. I thinka lot of people need to find their
comfort zone in dealing with people ofthe LGBTQ community. But this show was
just really good and she dives intoI guess she was molested as a kid,
and just all the honesty involved withthat and how it affects other people
(22:56):
around around those situations, and itwas just, I don't know, it
was a really powerful show, thoughtprovoking, and I would highly recommend it.
You know. You know, Italk about my friend Kenyon, and
you know how I don't have aproblem dealing with anybody. And the main
(23:17):
reason is I got to hang arounda lot of people. I don't think
you're ever gonna understand or have evena remote chance of understanding somebody from that
community if you never associate with anybodyfrom that community, And so at least
watching the show, maybe you canhear that voice a little bit and get
a little bit of the understanding.What the fucking I am I guru or
(23:37):
something? I don't know, butI don't know. I think it's a
really great show. Give it achance. She might get something out of
it. You might not. Whatthe fuck do I know? But anyway,
I loved that am I'm a bigfan of the girl flum this show.
I'd seen clips up her and standup before and I thought she was
funny before. But this is thebiggest project I've seen her do, and
(24:00):
I really dug it. So highestpossible recommendation from the Hurricane Boom podcast.
They're free to you, but they'renot free to do. We need to
keep this Highway to helms train rolling, but I want to keep it free
free of charge. So here's whatwe do. We go to pro Wrestling
Tees dot Com, Slash Shane Helmsand pick yourself up a shirt. I
got shirts, I got COVID masks, I got merchandise available there that isn't
(24:25):
available anywhere else. To go toPro Wrestling Tees dot Com slash Shane Helms
and pick yourself up a shirt.This train must keep rolling on the highway
to Helms. And now it's timefor the comics Slam, like we always
(24:48):
do about this time. I'm gonnatalk about some comics. You might like
them. If you like them,go buy them and then tweet me about
them and we can talk about them. That is the bad thing about this
portion of not having any guests onmy show, because I would like to
go back and forth to get someother opinions on these books. But be
that as it fucking may. Whereto begin? I got a planthaa Where
(25:15):
did I start at last week?So I gotta look at my notes because
I take dubious notes. I needa fucking dubie. I'm gonna start this
week with DC. This is fromtheir Black Label line of books Batman Three
Jokers, and this one was recommendedto me by Epic Comics on Orlando,
so I took his advice. Thisis by Jeff Johns and Jason Faibuk is
(25:40):
the artist, I believe. Andthis is a story of Batman story that
involves you guessed it, three jokersand we don't know which one, if
any, is the real Joker orthese jokers from different multiverses popping in.
We don't know. That's the mysteryof this book. I really dug it,
(26:02):
you know. I know I complainedyears ago about there being too mini
jokers, and here I am endorsinga book with three jokers. But that
just goes to show anything done rightcan be done right. You see that
wisdom? That ship belongs in acookie. What's the opposite of fortune cookie?
It has to be my kind ofcookie. But I thought this was
(26:25):
really good. I love the art. They did a lot of nine penal
grids on the pages of reminiscent ofThe Watchman, but I'm guessing that was
intentional. I find it hard tobelieve that it wasn't. But I was
really fascinated through red Hood in thisone goes rogue and put some motherfucking bullet
(26:45):
in one of the Joker's brain spoileralert. But I don't feel bad about
giving some of the endings of thesebooks because I purposely wait at least a
month. Some of these books arelike about five weeks past. So I
feel like if I do that,I give yourself a window. You know,
anything a month pass will pass thespoiler alert. If I talk about
(27:07):
anything that coming that came out thisweek, I probably won't go into much
detail in the story. But ifI'm endorsing it, it's still so good
that you should go get it.So I doud this book. Check it
out if you get a chance.Moving on DC Universe Suicide Squad number eight,
I'm fully on board for this versionof the Suicide Squad. This is
(27:27):
brought to you by Tom Taylor,who's doing big things. Art is by
Daniel Sampier. I'm guessing I saidthat right. And this new Suicide Squad
cast, you know the Airy,I know I talked about that character a
couple issues, I mean a coupleof episodes back really digging that character.
(27:47):
You dead SHOT's got a big playin this Harley Quinn of course, and
this book just continues to be reallygood. Continuing this storyline, you get
some you get some backstory on theAiry and how the Airy and Wink became
friends, how they became an itemtheir origin story, and that was really
good. I'm really digging this book. Amanda Waller continues to be an asshole,
(28:14):
and Tom Taylor writes her really well. I know, like sometimes she
kind of skirts the line, likesometimes she's supposed to be doing things for
the right, but she still doesso many, you know, dirty things
that you can't help but dislike her, but so really good story. Like
I said, the airy Wink portionwas super good. There's a big there's
(28:37):
a big motherfucking this what's her name? It's a big female that looks cool,
like a coolst character. I wroteher name down somewhere where did I
write it down? O Cita?I believe it's what it is if I
said it right, O Cita,I don't know what the dons. Maybe
that means something in a different languagethat I am not familiar with. Listen,
I'm struggling the master English. Don'task me to master another fucking language,
(29:02):
because that shit ain't happened. AnotherDC universe said this one. I
started off with DC because I wentreally heavy on Marvel, I think for
the last two weeks. But thisis just this league Dark number twenty five,
their last hope. Detective Chimp.You know I've said it week after
week after week. I love mesome Detective Chimp. I don't know why,
(29:23):
but I just do. And thisstory mainly focuses own. This is
continuing the Zantana story, which she'slooking for her father. Her father has
been kidnapped in a magical realm.This is about to you by the writer
Ram V. Motherfucker, his lastname is V. See I understand that
I can't pronounce that the artist isI'm in kay, I'm in say.
(29:48):
I guess new Huelapi that's the artist. See that ship. I struggle with
the writer ram V or could beRam five. Maybe it's a Roman numeral.
I don't fucking know. But anyway, this book's really good. This
digs into the mystical arts of theDC universe. You get a little swamp
thing in here, a little manback we already know. I don't give
(30:11):
a fuck about man Back, butI can tolerate him in here. I
wonder woman's doing good shit in here. So I'm really digging this book.
This is another good one, abig power play by the swamp thing.
At the end of this book,did I say man thing earlier? If
I said a man thing that wasan accident swamp thing. There's a fucking
demon monster in here that is drownincredibly fucking creepy. I thought that was
(30:34):
cool as shit. So anyway,this is another good one, another banger.
This is a title I'm gonna continueto keep reading. And when I
say that, I say that fora reason because there's a couple of titles
that I look at that I've talkedabout before and I'm just like, I'm
not feeling it, and I don'twant to get on here and bury a
(30:55):
book. So if you hear mestop talking about any particular title, there's
probably a reason for it. Thatshit just happens. Sometimes you get new
creative teams and you're just not feelingthat vibe. There's so much good good
books out there, you know.Just find something that you like. And
here's another one I like. Alsofrom Deceased DC. I said, this
(31:18):
is Deceased Dead Planet, number threeof seven. This is also I Believe,
brought to you by Tom Taylor.This motherfucker's working. He's putting his
overtime pencils by Trevor hand signed IBelieve, and the variant cover they got
some variant coverage, but I don'tknow which fucking one I got. There's
some Detective Champ in this as well. I get multiple books with Detective Champ
(31:41):
this week. I'm pretty happy aboutthis. If you remember issue two of
this book, it ended where therewas this red moat around a castle that
everybody thought was this red fluid,but it was actually plastic man. He's
a fucking zombie now, and heliquefied himself and he wiped out a couple
members of the tea. So thisis picking up right after that. They
(32:02):
got to figure out a way outof that scenario. Zantana to the rescue.
You get some swamp thing in thisone too, some John Constantine,
some doctor of Fate. You geta get a cute little scene with Commissionel
Gordon and the new Batman, whowas Damien. You know, Batman had
to do the job in this one, so Damien has taking up the batmantle.
(32:29):
Cool little scene with him. Theyfigured out a cure for this for
the anti life equation. It's inCyborg's body somehow, So Superman has been
cured. He's the first one that'sbeen cured. There's been millions of people
dead from this. Multiple heroes andvillains have died from this. They have
(32:49):
deceased. Now Superman has been thefirst cure, and it's not Superman.
It's a super boy who is nowSuperman, John Kent. I'm gonna said
John Connor, now John conn fromthe Terminator. He is not Superman,
Shane stupid. But anyway, hewakes up. Mary marvels over there checking
out on him. She's watching overhim. I think we got a little
(33:10):
budding romance stare between the new Supermanand Mary Marvel. Yeah, let's see
what I'm saying. That might belightning in the viewture. Why a stupid
But this book continues to just begood as fuck. Um and a good
cliffhanger with the demon Trigging is comingbecause he's because these zombies, these humans
(33:37):
are turning into zombies. No soulsare going to Hell, and that's making
the demons in Hell upset, sothey're gonna come to Earth fuck everything up.
Triggering is the one. He's gonnacome fuck some shit up and just
started refreshing. I think it's hisplan. That was a pretty good cliffhanger.
Also, there's this robot called AmazonAmazzo. I guess am az Amazo
(34:00):
amazo, however you want to pronouncethat, And it's a really weird character
because it's this robot that supposedly somehowhas all the powers of the Justice League.
Now you would think. I thoughtabout this since this characters first came
out, and I'm like, ifyou could create a robot like that,
won't you just create a bunch ofthem and take over the fucking world.
I thought about that since I wasa kid. Nobody's ever done it,
not to my knowledge. Now theydo it because these motherfucker's then made a
(34:24):
whole army of amazing robots and Idon't know how you're gonna beat them.
That's gonna be tough. So um, this book continues to be killer.
Also, towards the end, Igot to mention mister Miracle pop saying I
used to hate mister Miracle. NowI love mister Miracle, and so I'm
very excited about where this book goesinto issue number four. But Fantastic Issue
(34:49):
number three, deceased from DC Comics, has been It's been on my top
list, my poor list, atthe very top. Every week it comes
out. It's the first one Iwant to read. That's how good that
is. Now we're going on toa Boom Studios. And I picked this
book up simply because of the coverit had in big letters. We only
find them when They're dead. That'sthe name of the book. We only
(35:13):
find them when They're dead. Thisis brought to you by Al Euing and
Simone Demo. The cover is SimoneDemo, the artist Simone DeMeo, written
by Al Euing, and the basisof this is set in the future.
It's a space space story, spaceshipsand ship flying around and what they do
(35:35):
is there's big, huge gods,gods like for Marvel, you would think
of a celestial and so they findthese dead gods floating in space, and
these like different groups try to goand get pieces of the body. They
are like grave robbers of space,of space gods. So I really fascinated
(36:00):
and an original premise. So I'mkind of on board for this. It
is, you know, even asI say that allowed a little morbid,
a little this a little bit morbidity, but fuck it, I'm on board.
It's weird too, because one ofthe things I hate about comics is
they just kill people all the time. But these people, they already.
Did you know what I'm saying.They're just picking the bones um that doesn't
(36:22):
help shame and it just says whatit is. But I really dug it.
It's an original premise, good art, good story. So I'm gonna
give it. I'm gonna give itanother couple of issues, you know.
I can't say I'm gonna commit toit for the rest of my life,
oh my life. But so farit's so good. I'm digging it.
And that's where we have. Letme see what else we've got going on
(36:45):
here. I know, I wantedto talk about this one, and also
I wanted to talk about Boom okay, three more I wanted to talk about.
This one was a special surprise.This is from Dark Horse Comics.
It's The Orville. If you rememberthat TV show starring Seth mcfallan, I
(37:05):
think, written and whatever produced bymcfallin as well. You know, of
course he was known for Family Guy, but that guy. It was obviously
a Star Trek homage and it's incomic form, and I thought this was
really good. The script was DavidGoodman, art was David Cabeza, and
I thought to art was fascinating becausehe drew them, and they looked just
(37:27):
like their characters on the show,which I imagine. I'm not an artist,
but I imagine that would be moredifficult than just creating Whoever the fuck
you want. Any artists out therewant to chime in and tell me whether
I'm right or wrong. Let meknow. Is it easier to draw somebody
that already exists their facial features oris it harder to create your own facial
features and to continue that on.I don't know, but I thought this
(37:51):
was good. It really stuck tothe tone of the show, the theme
of the show. There's a newenemy pops up without giving away too much,
and at the end there's a directomage to the Death Star. So
the Orville the show more of anomage to start track, which therefore the
book is too. But at theend there's a definite homage to the Death
(38:12):
Star. And I'm sticking around forissue two. So I'm enjoying that.
I love that show, and I'menjoying the book as well. Now moving
on to Zeno's scope, this isconspiracy. Each one of these conspiracy books
so standalone stories, and it's aboutmore of the real conspiracies on Earth,
ancient aliens, men in black,that sort of shit. This one focuses
(38:37):
on the Black Night's Satellite. Ifyou don't know the conspiracy of the Black
Knight's Satellite, google it. You'llprobably be very interested in it, and
then follow down a fucking rabbit holefor at least an hour or so.
Also in this they touch on realquick the stories by Joe Brushia, Ralph
Tedesco, and Dave Francini. Thewriter said the story the writers are hands
(39:01):
Rudy Off Adam Goldberg, and theartwork is alan o'ta so good story.
It also touches on the tik takUfo event. If you don't know that,
please google that one. That oneis within the last couple of years,
within I believe in the last fiveand this one that really has gained
a lot of attention and a lotof momentum in terms of credibility coming from
(39:23):
credible sources. Air Force pilots.I believe Commander Faber, I believe it's
the guy he's of course, they'renot gonna mention anybody's real name in this
book. This is off the topof my head, but I knew a
little bit about that story, butit's completely fascinating. So tik tac like
the like the breathman tik tak ufophenomenon. You could google any of those
(39:45):
combination of words and you should beable to pull up that story. But
it's really fascinating. So really diggingthat book. That's Conspiracy by Zeno Scoop.
Make sure you get the company righthere, give to give them their
props. Yes, a Xeno scopeZ E N E scope scope like for
(40:05):
your dirty s breath seeing the scope. Check that out. And so last
the last book on the agenda,And I know we're getting a little along
with the Comedy Slam, but theyget good to me, y'all. This
is Guardians of the Galaxy number six, another all euing always got two books
on the comedy Slam. This weekAluing script artist is Marcia Takara and the
(40:25):
Guardians of the Galaxy. This continues, We're now continues. It's kind of
the after effect. Peter Quill isdead. So this one starts off Richard
writer Nova, not to be confusedwith Mike Bucci. This one starts off
this motherfucker's in therapy kind of likehearers in crisis type scenario. If you
remember that storyline. He's dealing withPeter Quill, his best friend died.
(40:51):
He's dealing with his feelings for Gomerabecause at one time Gomera had loved for
him. I know, I know, there's a lot of things going on
in this book. At some point, Hercules is over there making out with
Marvel Boy. Listen, in space, shit happens, you know. Don't
ask me no questions, you know, Hercules just like, hey, I
gotta give me some of that.And that's just how it is. I
(41:16):
like how they slid that ship inthere. I was like, wait,
what is that? Oh, Herculesand Marvel Boy over there fucking all right
then? And Marvel Boy is alsolike half insect too, So there's all
kind of shenanigans going on there.But this is more. This book focuses
more on the personal relationships with Richardwriter and himself, him coming to terms
(41:38):
with some of the loss, someof his personal problems in his life thinking
me like I'm a psychologist, andhis life with Gomra. The finish at
the end of the story is theyfind out they get news from Earth about
what happened at the end of theEmpire storyline with if you guys remember that
has been going on for fucking everin the Avengers, so I still don't
(42:00):
know the end of that. SoI'm I don't know what they're talking about,
which is kind of cool. Theyjust say that you're not going to
believe what happened, but this changesjust about everything. What are we going
to do about it? To becontinued? So there's a good little hook,
and it's a it's a good littlehook for this book. And also
I'm like, damn, now Igot to go find out what happened at
(42:21):
the end of the Empire because Ihad kind of given up a little bit
on that just because it had takenso fucking long, and I hate those
playing people. Ain't nobody got timefor playing people, so um, but
yeah, but now I'm gonna findout. So they did their job in
terms of that. So let mere go through everything. What all did
we like this week? Batman,the Three Jokers loved it. Suicide Squad.
(42:46):
I'm definitely on board for Suicide Squad. And Tom Taylor is moving up
on my list of writers as ofpeople that I just enjoy their work consistence
consistently. Justice League Dark, goodbook of these characters. Man Back can
still fuck off, but I stillloved that book. DCA's Dead Planet Number
three loved it. One of myfavorite series of the last couple of years.
(43:09):
I can't recommend it enough. WeOnly Find Them when They're Dead from
Boom Studios. Very interesting premise.I'm on board for at least another issue
of So The Oval the Oival fromDark Horse loved it. Can't read more
of that. I missed that showand it helped out. The Conspiracy Book
(43:30):
from Xenoscope loved that as well.Guardians of the Galaxy absolutely fantastic. Can't
wait to dive back in it isto see what's going on to see all
of these relationships. Is Nova goingto get bat Wig, mora Is Hercules
and Marvel Boy? Are they goingto continue their relationship or was it just
a space fling. We need toknow. We need to know what happened
(43:52):
at the end of Empire. Sothere you have it. Another great edition
for me of the comedy Slam,this is my favorite. I think you
guys can tell us my favorite portionof the show to talk about these comics.
And the more I do this,the more I realize that it might
be cool to have a guest onnow and then to get their perspective on
some of these issues to see ifthey, you know, get the same
(44:14):
thing out of these books that I'mgetting on. Maybe they do, maybe
they don't. I don't know,but anyway, thank you guys for always
tuning in listening. Please check outmy sponsors Pro Wrestling Tis dot com slash
Shanehems. We got some new shitcoming up. I saw the design for
the newest show and it might bemy favorite of all time. I know
I've said that before, but Ifeel like you're kind of supposed to You're
(44:35):
supposed to be coming up with newerideas that you like better than the ones
before. But this one, thisone kind of takes the cake in.
I'm excited for you guys to seeit. Also call on THEMBLO brand dot
com slash Shanehelms. Check them out. They got some of my classic stuff.
And that's about it. Thank youall for traveling with me once again.
Wait GeOI kicks on Instagram and Twitter, don't forget them. Thanks for
(44:59):
traveling on with me once again onthe highway to Helms. Here's the song
of the week. Boom boom boomboom boom boom boom boom me, watch
you gonna do it? Ain't nowhere to my Judge mccoms with you and
Judge mccoms, jo, watch yourgone when it ain't nowhere to hide,
(45:20):
my Judge mccoms, because it's gonnago slinging it for filing easy childer that
the food of God got him andI'm gonna missify the out of rolling.
I ain't looked at the bun.I ain't bad for dust and that d
be side that can't you tell me? If peach you to cease with their
pas may then by my hand,ain't you got God bless you? We're
(45:44):
another plan to give in front ofthe Lord un three for seven days.
You guys soon be prayed, eventhough the devil's all loved in my food.
But they giving me safe, Theyget them up to play. They
pressed it against the rest when Ichased the passage said against some sobo bus
that rubs. Because there's no muchto come to clue. What can I
do it with all about the fella? Ain't how gonna get a witness letter
the phone we having last week,I run so well and we're bringing with
(46:07):
bringing with bringing with every day.But Daddad didn't we're bringing the bringing bringing
still when the lass look fun ofthe road stow, whether it's tell of
a sament comes we take a bitof the people that snub there and he's
into it. Boo, it's stillto keeping up of his family. Exactly
how many days we got lasting?Were you laughing with basting basting to win
(46:30):
ya radio? Because I know wantmeet you out the rub with y'all?
Know you ever got love with numberthus by lad y'all, really what's good?
Come home? But when they tellthey gotta go back by, all
the little dog could do was cry, cry, I want to kill my
dog. Damn man, I missedmy uncle. Charge y'all any you meet
down in front of its home whenthey did the rude was wrong, hull
(46:51):
road wrong, gott an old,don't gotta dance throne when it did come
bitter Billie, don't gotta show yougetting lean on hold men. If we
play be prayed befrayed every day theday, every day, every day,
and we play to play fray brayevery day after by oh here, hen
(47:23):
I'm gonna miss seven Friday. CanI'm gonna miss seven lighting? Hen I'm
gonna miss seven lighting? Can I'mgonna miss seven body, hen I'm gonna
miss seven lightings. I'm gonna misevenbody living in the Hapeful woods, singing
the straight to something. He woliving in an april woods, singing me
straight this song. We were loveliving in the hapeful woods, singing the
(47:45):
straight this so we we It's anice little wire your sign, he told
me, we lift the shout ofthe money. Y'alln't see my bagga because
I was hounding money related everybody wantto miss The stuff in his knees is
to them easy to fall, andthen said the nickel be into it,
didn't win a kneed gonna come again, but get it again. Tell me
what you gon to do. Somebody, anybody tell me why he can Somebody
(48:07):
anybody tell me why he di bedie. I don't want die wrong.
I'll see you at the cross soyou won't know me, so you won't
can say like the cross or youwon't know menu see you at the crossbow,
(48:30):
or you won't know me right now, so you won't know she like
the crossbow, or you won't benobody
Do you want to go behind thescenes at World Championship Wrestling and find out
what really happened from one of thegreatest minds in the history of the business,
the infamous booker behind WCW's success withthe New World Order. Other podcasts
weren't there. Let's clean up thefantasy bullshit, give you real facts and
(00:22):
real stories with the Testmaster himself.Yes, this is Testmaster Talks with Kevin
Sullivan, available on the Creative ControlNetwork. Somebody Harry Cops dot down.
(01:00):
He started, you're looking for you'relooking for? Greetings, salutations? What
(01:21):
it is? God damn Welcome citizens. It's Shane Hurricane Helms coming through with
another episode of Highway to Helms,episode sixty eight to be exact. For
my long term listeners, thanks forsticking with it. For my new listeners,
you am for some nonsense because thisshit don't make no sense, and
(01:42):
that's what nonsense means. So yeah, I gotta start off with some bullshit.
My undefeated fantasy football team undefeated nolonger. Man, damn, my
team vastly underperformed. They needed thatblue you they just couldn't perform. Uh
Yeah, they fucking sucked. Theystunk. It up this week. I
(02:05):
don't know what happened. I knowwhat happened, and fucking Ezekiel Elliott is
what happened. Listen. I knowfor many years we've been dealing with these
bullshit Dallas Cowboys being referred to asAmerica's team. Well now they really are
America's team because America is a flaming, fucking dumpster power right now, and
so is the Dallas Cowboys. Sofinally, yeah, finally your America's team
(02:31):
when America is at its worse.Man, they stunk it up? Why
why would they do it? Idid watch, though, I did watch
Tampa Bay played this week. Igot to kick out of that. You
know, I've been a time Bradyfan for a long time, so seeing
him in Gronk Reconnect, I thoughtthat was pretty cool. Gronk's first touchdown
(02:51):
in Tampa Bay, his first touchdownyou know, about two years I guess
around that time frame anyway, Sothat was pretty cool. Cool for him,
and to hang out with him NewYear's New Year's Eve this year.
You know, when we thought thisyear was going to be cool. You
know, remember that, you guysremember that, Remember how we brought in
twenty twenty like it was gonna bethe best year ever. We were wrong,
(03:15):
all of us. We fucked up. Hum, we fucked up.
But anyway, Yeah, I thoughtthat was really good. Tampa Bay,
I thought put on a good performance, a good team. It's interesting to
see Brady go there. And stillthey were talking about it because a couple
of games before Tampa Bay just hada lot of penalties. And any of
(03:36):
my football fans know that the NewEngland Patriots, they're very they're a very
disciplined team. They don't get alot of penalties and stuff like that.
They you know, practice hard,they practice very hard. They're a very
structured team. And so it goesto Tampa Bay and they don't have that
structure, they don't have that disciplinethere. They're sucking up and Tom was
(03:59):
on the sidelines just yelling. Buthe had a much better display this past
Sunday, and that was good tosee. A good little week of NFL.
I also checked out UFC. Ican't remember the whole card. He
actually came on early. I missedmost of it, but I did get
to catch the main event. Themain event was supposed to be a barn
(04:20):
burner, A burner of Barns.But it wasn't quite that. It was
pretty one sided. Brian Ortega tcitpieced up the Korean Zombie. For those
of you that don't watch MMA.When I say pieced up, that's the
technical term for whooping somebody's ass.I don't know how technical it is,
(04:43):
but yeah, the Korean Zombie didnot look like his normal attack mode self
two reserved, I felt, andBrian Ortega looked as best as he ever
has. And that's a dangerous combination. When your opponent looks the worse and
you're their best, you're at yourbest. That's a good night for you.
(05:06):
So really good. Speaking of Koreanzombie, well, actually not Korean
zombie, just zombie, speaking ofthe word zombie. I don't know if
you guys saw this. I putit on Twitter. A couple of days
ago. Molly Cyrus did a coverof Zombies by the Cranberries and that ship
was bad ass to me in mynon musical ass. Wait, man,
(05:29):
I am, I am. Ido have a songwriting credit, so I
do have some musical background, sothat entitles me to give my opinion.
Um, I thought it was reallygood. Joe, Joe, can you
can you put that into a quickThis is a test, y'all to see
if Joe Joe even listens to thisship to put that clip in real quick
for me. So we're gonna doit in three two one bother he has
(06:32):
slowly child, slowly take on thelens cons silence, you arewing my stay.
What you say it's my nave,it's not my in your head?
(07:04):
Then their loss he lost the payyour arm shot, watch your stop shop
(08:03):
for thether mothers breaking AARTI saga overthe pilence bases. Silence, we must
be my stay down. That's thesame old night chasing in your headea that
(08:33):
you find with the change and theirsand theirs in their wards. He the
(08:54):
time shop, watching your y'allop stop. Did he do it? We'll see.
(10:45):
But I thought it was really fuckinggood. And it's one of those
things where you put that on Twitter, goes man, Hey, I like
this. It's always interesting to seewhat people come back and go. I
think it fucking sucks. There's alwayssomebody out there I hate it, all
right. You could have just putthat on your page, though you didn't
have to reply to me a strangerlike I get that with friends. I
(11:07):
get that with people, you know, really you like that anything like that?
What is it that you liked aboutthat or didn't like about it?
I see, I can have thoseconversations when it's what a total stranger to
me. It's always strange, especiallywhen it's just that because all I said
was I like this, and thensomebody's replied us it sucks somebody, all
right, thanks for thanks for theconversation. Then you really you really helped
(11:31):
out. And then you know,direct contrast to that, there was a
movie I talked about. What wasthat fucking movie? M to his name?
Adam Sandler put out this Halloween movieon Netflix and seriously five minutes saying
I tapped out, like that shitsucked, and and that's all I put
(11:52):
in and saying I was tried towatch it five minutes saying I tapped out.
I didn't even say it sucked.But obviously that's implied. If I
tapped out in five minutes, theship must not have been good. Unless
they're talking about something else, thenit might be really good. That's what
you got to tap quick, youknow what I'm saying. But yeah,
and then it was amazing the repliesI got to that because there were some
(12:13):
people that's like they watched it twice. This guy's like, yeah, me
and my woman watched it twice,and I was like twice, I couldn't
get through five minutes of this ship. It was like comedy like if you've
never seen a comedian on stage bombLike, there's just like how you feel
embarrassed for them. It was likethat. But I was watching it by
(12:33):
myself. If you're watching some shipby yourself and you still feel embarrassed,
that's that's bad. That means somethingis not good. And so but people
is like, yeah, you gotto get through the first little bit.
And then it really gets funny becausehe kind of dives back into some of
the characters from his older movies,guest appearances, like from what were They
(12:58):
Fucking Happy? Gil Moore, BillyMatters. So maybe I'll go give it
another shot. We'll see, ButI know the first couple of minutes of
that movie was just dumb as fuckingI'm talking about listen. I understand Adam
Sandler's comed I understand his style.So it's not like I went into this
ship expecting Bill Burr. I understandwhy Adam Sandler does and still what's that?
(13:26):
What's not impressed? But I mighthave to go give it the shot
because you know, you just justyou know, speaking of some fucked up
ship. There's this nice little transition. Did y'all hear the story? There's
a dude from CNN, I thinkit was like CNN or The New Yorker
or something. He's on this zoomcall right with all these people and dudes
(13:46):
over there with his deck out ocranking it am I supposed to say penis
um And so he had to putout this apology like he didn't know that
the camera was own or some shitlike that. But it's like that's his
apology. He didn't know the camerawas on, Like were you still over
(14:07):
there handling your business during a businesscall? Like that's that's not normal?
Right? Oh man, this dudeis done. At least he's done at
that job. I don't even knowif they fired he probably not. He
probably get away with it. Motherfuckerjust had to touch himself. And so
(14:28):
anyway, I put up on Twittertwo there was a clip. Here's another
one for Joejoe if you can findit, this will be a big test.
There's a scene from Seinfeld with GeorgeCastanza. Costanza has sex with the
office cleaning lady on his desk,and like he gets fired for it.
And I can't remember exactly what hesays, but when the boss is asked
(14:50):
him about it, George just goes, is that wrong? Should I not
have done that? Always remember thatthat was just I really got to plead
ignorance on this one. It wassome shit like that. Anyway, Jojo,
if you can find that and putthat in right here in three two
one, I'm gonna get right tothe point. It's come to my attention
(15:15):
that you and the cleaning woman haveengaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in
your office. Is that correct?Who said that she did? Was that
wrong? Should I not have donethat? I tell you, I gotta
plead ignorance on this thing, becauseif anyone had said anything to me at
(15:39):
all when I first started here thatthat sort of thing was frowned upon.
Because I've worked in a lot ofoffices, and I tell you people do
that all the time. You're fired. I didn't have to say it like
that. I want you out ofhere by the end of the day.
(16:08):
What about the whole Christmas spirit thing? Any flexibility. There. See,
we're gonna see, We're gonna seehow well Joe Julie is paying attention.
So anyway, what else did Ido this week? As far as watching
TV? I finished up Ratchet onNetflix. Nurse Ratchet. That's a character
(16:32):
from One Flue Over the Cuckoo's NestsNest, a famous movie starring Jack Nicholson,
one of his earlier ones. Thatreally uh, that was really about
his rise to prominence, you know, and so just takes a character from
there. I finished that. Ithought that was pretty decent. You know,
Sarah Paulson's a good actress. Sheloves to cry them. That's I
mean, every episode somebody's crying.Um. I watched a couple more episodes
(16:56):
of The Good Place. I'm stillvery entertained by that show. Lighthearted,
you know, sometimes you just needsome lightheartedness. That one's a good one.
White Else, there's a movie onHulu called Lowlife. I got to
recommend this one to you guys.It's a damn luchad like. It would
keep popping up like on the suggestions. However, that algorithm works, and
(17:21):
it's a dude wearing a luchadoor mask. Old school like a kind of like
mister Wrestling number one, number twowhatever that old school looked. But it's
all red with like gold trim aroundthe eyes and nose and mouth, and
it just looked like it would beterrible. But there's a really there's almost
(17:41):
a Napoleon dynam might vibe to itin in terms of humor, and there
was some really good pops man therewas. For me, it was a
scene because the luchadoor guy's pretty funny. I can't even remember his fucking name,
his gimmick name El Monstro or somethinglike that, Monstrous or some shit
like that. But like the scenethat killed me the most is like,
(18:04):
there's this dude, he's he's anAfrican American black guy, person of color,
and he's waiting to get a friendout. Here's a white dude that's
in jail and he's waiting to gopick him up. He's getting released from
jail. He'd been in there fora couple of years or some shit ten
years, and so he's just waitingfor his friend to get out to pick
him up. And when the whitedude comes walking, he's got a big
(18:25):
swastica tattooed on his face and hejust gets in the car like everything's cool.
We just starts talking and he's gotkind of an eminem vibe to him,
and he's just sitting there talking like, Yeah, what's up, man,
goes man, so glad to seeyou. Man, Man, it's
time to hit the streets all thiskind of shit and a black guys just
looking at it and were like,what the fuck is up? And it
is just fucking hilarious. And thenthey finally he explains that he had to
(18:49):
do it to survive inside and anyway, they're getting some kind of argument another
dude, what the white dude isgonna just go walking down the street and
dudes like, you can't walk aroundthe street with that ship on your face.
He's like, wow, man,people ain't like that. Don't worry
about it. And the next thingyou know, he's just getting his asshood.
(19:11):
Oh, this ship was funny.I dug that that was. That
was pretty damn good and I enjoyedthem. Another little movie I checked out
was called Spell. I believe thiswas This might have been an Amazon Prime
one. Uh could have been ahul I need to write down what device
(19:32):
I saw these owns. I believethis was an Amazon Prime, and the
premise here is, following the deathof his fiance, an American illustrator embarks
on the soul searching journey across theisolated Icelandic countryside, only to become drawn
into a supernatural world of ancient roomsand secrets. Or is it all in
(19:55):
his mind? I thought this wasgood. I really liked the premise behind
it. It's a budget films,so um, you know, they had
to kind of keep things a littlesimplistic. But I actually enjoyed that fucking
movie. We watched The Kitchen.I believe this was also on fucking Amazon
(20:15):
Prime. Could have been a HuluI don't know, but it's like three
nineteen seventy Hill's Kitchens. Housewives takeover the family business after their mobster husbands
are sent to prison. Not bad, you know, not great, not
bad. It happened. One ofmy favorites of the weekend is Palm Springs,
(20:40):
and that was on Hulu starting it, said Adam Adam Sandberg, Andy
Sendberg, the guy from Brooklyn nineand nine, whatever the fucker's name is.
I really like him. I likehim so much. I don't know
his fucking name, Andy Senburg,Adam Sendburg, I think it's Adam Sendberg.
Anyway. I think that guy's funny, and this movie is kind of
like a groundhog Day type movie whereit we live in the same day over
and over, but there's a twistto it. And I really enjoyed this
(21:04):
movie. I thought there are somereally good laughs. Adam Sandberg, if
that is his real name, I'ma fan of that guy, so I
really enjoyed that one. The lastthing on TV I wanted to talk about
was I touched on this one lastweek. It's a show called One Mississippi
and this is on Amazon Prime andit starting is comeding named Tignagarrow. Now
(21:27):
this is quite unlike anything I've suggestedto you guys before. Tigna Garrow is
she has had breast cancer, I'mguessing, and she had I don't know
the medical term for this, butshe had both the breasts removed, and
like she even shows it in theshow, takes off a shirt in front
(21:48):
of the mirror and it's like,I've never seen that before, So you
know, it's a bit shocking,But at the same time, you can't
help but respect her for being braveenough to do that, because I don't
think a lot of women would likeI say, I've never seen it,
and then again, I don't knowwhy I would see it, So there's
that side of the argument. Butit was just it was powerful for her
(22:11):
to do that, you know,and just like, man, wow,
okay, this is Anna. Thisis gonna be a really honest show,
really raw. And so she's ofthe lesbian community and that's a part of
it, but it also it's justwho she is, and I really enjoyed
that it wasn't it wasn't this bigpride thing or a pride parade type things,
(22:32):
like she just happens to be alesbian and you see, you get
more comfortable with it. I thinka lot of people need to find their
comfort zone in dealing with people ofthe LGBTQ community. But this show was
just really good and she dives intoI guess she was molested as a kid,
and just all the honesty involved withthat and how it affects other people
(22:56):
around around those situations, and itwas just, I don't know, it
was a really powerful show, thoughtprovoking, and I would highly recommend it.
You know. You know, Italk about my friend Kenyon, and
you know how I don't have aproblem dealing with anybody. And the main
(23:17):
reason is I got to hang arounda lot of people. I don't think
you're ever gonna understand or have evena remote chance of understanding somebody from that
community if you never associate with anybodyfrom that community, And so at least
watching the show, maybe you canhear that voice a little bit and get
a little bit of the understanding.What the fucking I am I guru or
(23:37):
something? I don't know, butI don't know. I think it's a
really great show. Give it achance. She might get something out of
it. You might not. Whatthe fuck do I know? But anyway,
I loved that am I'm a bigfan of the girl flum this show.
I'd seen clips up her and standup before and I thought she was
funny before. But this is thebiggest project I've seen her do, and
(24:00):
I really dug it. So highestpossible recommendation from the Hurricane Boom podcast.
They're free to you, but they'renot free to do. We need to
keep this Highway to helms train rolling, but I want to keep it free
free of charge. So here's whatwe do. We go to pro Wrestling
Tees dot Com, Slash Shane Helmsand pick yourself up a shirt. I
got shirts, I got COVID masks, I got merchandise available there that isn't
(24:25):
available anywhere else. To go toPro Wrestling Tees dot Com slash Shane Helms
and pick yourself up a shirt.This train must keep rolling on the highway
to Helms. And now it's timefor the comics Slam, like we always
(24:48):
do about this time. I'm gonnatalk about some comics. You might like
them. If you like them,go buy them and then tweet me about
them and we can talk about them. That is the bad thing about this
portion of not having any guests onmy show, because I would like to
go back and forth to get someother opinions on these books. But be
that as it fucking may. Whereto begin? I got a planthaa Where
(25:15):
did I start at last week?So I gotta look at my notes because
I take dubious notes. I needa fucking dubie. I'm gonna start this
week with DC. This is fromtheir Black Label line of books Batman Three
Jokers, and this one was recommendedto me by Epic Comics on Orlando,
so I took his advice. Thisis by Jeff Johns and Jason Faibuk is
(25:40):
the artist, I believe. Andthis is a story of Batman story that
involves you guessed it, three jokersand we don't know which one, if
any, is the real Joker orthese jokers from different multiverses popping in.
We don't know. That's the mysteryof this book. I really dug it,
(26:02):
you know. I know I complainedyears ago about there being too mini
jokers, and here I am endorsinga book with three jokers. But that
just goes to show anything done rightcan be done right. You see that
wisdom? That ship belongs in acookie. What's the opposite of fortune cookie?
It has to be my kind ofcookie. But I thought this was
(26:25):
really good. I love the art. They did a lot of nine penal
grids on the pages of reminiscent ofThe Watchman, but I'm guessing that was
intentional. I find it hard tobelieve that it wasn't. But I was
really fascinated through red Hood in thisone goes rogue and put some motherfucking bullet
(26:45):
in one of the Joker's brain spoileralert. But I don't feel bad about
giving some of the endings of thesebooks because I purposely wait at least a
month. Some of these books arelike about five weeks past. So I
feel like if I do that,I give yourself a window. You know,
anything a month pass will pass thespoiler alert. If I talk about
(27:07):
anything that coming that came out thisweek, I probably won't go into much
detail in the story. But ifI'm endorsing it, it's still so good
that you should go get it.So I doud this book. Check it
out if you get a chance.Moving on DC Universe Suicide Squad number eight,
I'm fully on board for this versionof the Suicide Squad. This is
(27:27):
brought to you by Tom Taylor,who's doing big things. Art is by
Daniel Sampier. I'm guessing I saidthat right. And this new Suicide Squad
cast, you know the Airy,I know I talked about that character a
couple issues, I mean a coupleof episodes back really digging that character.
(27:47):
You dead SHOT's got a big playin this Harley Quinn of course, and
this book just continues to be reallygood. Continuing this storyline, you get
some you get some backstory on theAiry and how the Airy and Wink became
friends, how they became an itemtheir origin story, and that was really
good. I'm really digging this book. Amanda Waller continues to be an asshole,
(28:14):
and Tom Taylor writes her really well. I know, like sometimes she
kind of skirts the line, likesometimes she's supposed to be doing things for
the right, but she still doesso many, you know, dirty things
that you can't help but dislike her, but so really good story. Like
I said, the airy Wink portionwas super good. There's a big there's
(28:37):
a big motherfucking this what's her name? It's a big female that looks cool,
like a coolst character. I wroteher name down somewhere where did I
write it down? O Cita?I believe it's what it is if I
said it right, O Cita,I don't know what the dons. Maybe
that means something in a different languagethat I am not familiar with. Listen,
I'm struggling the master English. Don'task me to master another fucking language,
(29:02):
because that shit ain't happened. AnotherDC universe said this one. I
started off with DC because I wentreally heavy on Marvel, I think for
the last two weeks. But thisis just this league Dark number twenty five,
their last hope. Detective Chimp.You know I've said it week after
week after week. I love mesome Detective Chimp. I don't know why,
(29:23):
but I just do. And thisstory mainly focuses own. This is
continuing the Zantana story, which she'slooking for her father. Her father has
been kidnapped in a magical realm.This is about to you by the writer
Ram V. Motherfucker, his lastname is V. See I understand that
I can't pronounce that the artist isI'm in kay, I'm in say.
(29:48):
I guess new Huelapi that's the artist. See that ship. I struggle with
the writer ram V or could beRam five. Maybe it's a Roman numeral.
I don't fucking know. But anyway, this book's really good. This
digs into the mystical arts of theDC universe. You get a little swamp
thing in here, a little manback we already know. I don't give
(30:11):
a fuck about man Back, butI can tolerate him in here. I
wonder woman's doing good shit in here. So I'm really digging this book.
This is another good one, abig power play by the swamp thing.
At the end of this book,did I say man thing earlier? If
I said a man thing that wasan accident swamp thing. There's a fucking
demon monster in here that is drownincredibly fucking creepy. I thought that was
(30:34):
cool as shit. So anyway,this is another good one, another banger.
This is a title I'm gonna continueto keep reading. And when I
say that, I say that fora reason because there's a couple of titles
that I look at that I've talkedabout before and I'm just like, I'm
not feeling it, and I don'twant to get on here and bury a
(30:55):
book. So if you hear mestop talking about any particular title, there's
probably a reason for it. Thatshit just happens. Sometimes you get new
creative teams and you're just not feelingthat vibe. There's so much good good
books out there, you know.Just find something that you like. And
here's another one I like. Alsofrom Deceased DC. I said, this
(31:18):
is Deceased Dead Planet, number threeof seven. This is also I Believe,
brought to you by Tom Taylor.This motherfucker's working. He's putting his
overtime pencils by Trevor hand signed IBelieve, and the variant cover they got
some variant coverage, but I don'tknow which fucking one I got. There's
some Detective Champ in this as well. I get multiple books with Detective Champ
(31:41):
this week. I'm pretty happy aboutthis. If you remember issue two of
this book, it ended where therewas this red moat around a castle that
everybody thought was this red fluid,but it was actually plastic man. He's
a fucking zombie now, and heliquefied himself and he wiped out a couple
members of the tea. So thisis picking up right after that. They
(32:02):
got to figure out a way outof that scenario. Zantana to the rescue.
You get some swamp thing in thisone too, some John Constantine,
some doctor of Fate. You geta get a cute little scene with Commissionel
Gordon and the new Batman, whowas Damien. You know, Batman had
to do the job in this one, so Damien has taking up the batmantle.
(32:29):
Cool little scene with him. Theyfigured out a cure for this for
the anti life equation. It's inCyborg's body somehow, So Superman has been
cured. He's the first one that'sbeen cured. There's been millions of people
dead from this. Multiple heroes andvillains have died from this. They have
(32:49):
deceased. Now Superman has been thefirst cure, and it's not Superman.
It's a super boy who is nowSuperman, John Kent. I'm gonna said
John Connor, now John conn fromthe Terminator. He is not Superman,
Shane stupid. But anyway, hewakes up. Mary marvels over there checking
out on him. She's watching overhim. I think we got a little
(33:10):
budding romance stare between the new Supermanand Mary Marvel. Yeah, let's see
what I'm saying. That might belightning in the viewture. Why a stupid
But this book continues to just begood as fuck. Um and a good
cliffhanger with the demon Trigging is comingbecause he's because these zombies, these humans
(33:37):
are turning into zombies. No soulsare going to Hell, and that's making
the demons in Hell upset, sothey're gonna come to Earth fuck everything up.
Triggering is the one. He's gonnacome fuck some shit up and just
started refreshing. I think it's hisplan. That was a pretty good cliffhanger.
Also, there's this robot called AmazonAmazzo. I guess am az Amazo
(34:00):
amazo, however you want to pronouncethat, And it's a really weird character
because it's this robot that supposedly somehowhas all the powers of the Justice League.
Now you would think. I thoughtabout this since this characters first came
out, and I'm like, ifyou could create a robot like that,
won't you just create a bunch ofthem and take over the fucking world.
I thought about that since I wasa kid. Nobody's ever done it,
not to my knowledge. Now theydo it because these motherfucker's then made a
(34:24):
whole army of amazing robots and Idon't know how you're gonna beat them.
That's gonna be tough. So um, this book continues to be killer.
Also, towards the end, Igot to mention mister Miracle pop saying I
used to hate mister Miracle. NowI love mister Miracle, and so I'm
very excited about where this book goesinto issue number four. But Fantastic Issue
(34:49):
number three, deceased from DC Comics, has been It's been on my top
list, my poor list, atthe very top. Every week it comes
out. It's the first one Iwant to read. That's how good that
is. Now we're going on toa Boom Studios. And I picked this
book up simply because of the coverit had in big letters. We only
find them when They're dead. That'sthe name of the book. We only
(35:13):
find them when They're dead. Thisis brought to you by Al Euing and
Simone Demo. The cover is SimoneDemo, the artist Simone DeMeo, written
by Al Euing, and the basisof this is set in the future.
It's a space space story, spaceshipsand ship flying around and what they do
(35:35):
is there's big, huge gods,gods like for Marvel, you would think
of a celestial and so they findthese dead gods floating in space, and
these like different groups try to goand get pieces of the body. They
are like grave robbers of space,of space gods. So I really fascinated
(36:00):
and an original premise. So I'mkind of on board for this. It
is, you know, even asI say that allowed a little morbid,
a little this a little bit morbidity, but fuck it, I'm on board.
It's weird too, because one ofthe things I hate about comics is
they just kill people all the time. But these people, they already.
Did you know what I'm saying.They're just picking the bones um that doesn't
(36:22):
help shame and it just says whatit is. But I really dug it.
It's an original premise, good art, good story. So I'm gonna
give it. I'm gonna give itanother couple of issues, you know.
I can't say I'm gonna commit toit for the rest of my life,
oh my life. But so farit's so good. I'm digging it.
And that's where we have. Letme see what else we've got going on
(36:45):
here. I know, I wantedto talk about this one, and also
I wanted to talk about Boom okay, three more I wanted to talk about.
This one was a special surprise.This is from Dark Horse Comics.
It's The Orville. If you rememberthat TV show starring Seth mcfallan, I
(37:05):
think, written and whatever produced bymcfallin as well. You know, of
course he was known for Family Guy, but that guy. It was obviously
a Star Trek homage and it's incomic form, and I thought this was
really good. The script was DavidGoodman, art was David Cabeza, and
I thought to art was fascinating becausehe drew them, and they looked just
(37:27):
like their characters on the show,which I imagine. I'm not an artist,
but I imagine that would be moredifficult than just creating Whoever the fuck
you want. Any artists out therewant to chime in and tell me whether
I'm right or wrong. Let meknow. Is it easier to draw somebody
that already exists their facial features oris it harder to create your own facial
features and to continue that on.I don't know, but I thought this
(37:51):
was good. It really stuck tothe tone of the show, the theme
of the show. There's a newenemy pops up without giving away too much,
and at the end there's a directomage to the Death Star. So
the Orville the show more of anomage to start track, which therefore the
book is too. But at theend there's a definite homage to the Death
(38:12):
Star. And I'm sticking around forissue two. So I'm enjoying that.
I love that show, and I'menjoying the book as well. Now moving
on to Zeno's scope, this isconspiracy. Each one of these conspiracy books
so standalone stories, and it's aboutmore of the real conspiracies on Earth,
ancient aliens, men in black,that sort of shit. This one focuses
(38:37):
on the Black Night's Satellite. Ifyou don't know the conspiracy of the Black
Knight's Satellite, google it. You'llprobably be very interested in it, and
then follow down a fucking rabbit holefor at least an hour or so.
Also in this they touch on realquick the stories by Joe Brushia, Ralph
Tedesco, and Dave Francini. Thewriter said the story the writers are hands
(39:01):
Rudy Off Adam Goldberg, and theartwork is alan o'ta so good story.
It also touches on the tik takUfo event. If you don't know that,
please google that one. That oneis within the last couple of years,
within I believe in the last fiveand this one that really has gained
a lot of attention and a lotof momentum in terms of credibility coming from
(39:23):
credible sources. Air Force pilots.I believe Commander Faber, I believe it's
the guy he's of course, they'renot gonna mention anybody's real name in this
book. This is off the topof my head, but I knew a
little bit about that story, butit's completely fascinating. So tik tac like
the like the breathman tik tak ufophenomenon. You could google any of those
(39:45):
combination of words and you should beable to pull up that story. But
it's really fascinating. So really diggingthat book. That's Conspiracy by Zeno Scoop.
Make sure you get the company righthere, give to give them their
props. Yes, a Xeno scopeZ E N E scope scope like for
(40:05):
your dirty s breath seeing the scope. Check that out. And so last
the last book on the agenda,And I know we're getting a little along
with the Comedy Slam, but theyget good to me, y'all. This
is Guardians of the Galaxy number six, another all euing always got two books
on the comedy Slam. This weekAluing script artist is Marcia Takara and the
(40:25):
Guardians of the Galaxy. This continues, We're now continues. It's kind of
the after effect. Peter Quill isdead. So this one starts off Richard
writer Nova, not to be confusedwith Mike Bucci. This one starts off
this motherfucker's in therapy kind of likehearers in crisis type scenario. If you
remember that storyline. He's dealing withPeter Quill, his best friend died.
(40:51):
He's dealing with his feelings for Gomerabecause at one time Gomera had loved for
him. I know, I know, there's a lot of things going on
in this book. At some point, Hercules is over there making out with
Marvel Boy. Listen, in space, shit happens, you know. Don't
ask me no questions, you know, Hercules just like, hey, I
gotta give me some of that.And that's just how it is. I
(41:16):
like how they slid that ship inthere. I was like, wait,
what is that? Oh, Herculesand Marvel Boy over there fucking all right
then? And Marvel Boy is alsolike half insect too, So there's all
kind of shenanigans going on there.But this is more. This book focuses
more on the personal relationships with Richardwriter and himself, him coming to terms
(41:38):
with some of the loss, someof his personal problems in his life thinking
me like I'm a psychologist, andhis life with Gomra. The finish at
the end of the story is theyfind out they get news from Earth about
what happened at the end of theEmpire storyline with if you guys remember that
has been going on for fucking everin the Avengers, so I still don't
(42:00):
know the end of that. SoI'm I don't know what they're talking about,
which is kind of cool. Theyjust say that you're not going to
believe what happened, but this changesjust about everything. What are we going
to do about it? To becontinued? So there's a good little hook,
and it's a it's a good littlehook for this book. And also
I'm like, damn, now Igot to go find out what happened at
(42:21):
the end of the Empire because Ihad kind of given up a little bit
on that just because it had takenso fucking long, and I hate those
playing people. Ain't nobody got timefor playing people, so um, but
yeah, but now I'm gonna findout. So they did their job in
terms of that. So let mere go through everything. What all did
we like this week? Batman,the Three Jokers loved it. Suicide Squad.
(42:46):
I'm definitely on board for Suicide Squad. And Tom Taylor is moving up
on my list of writers as ofpeople that I just enjoy their work consistence
consistently. Justice League Dark, goodbook of these characters. Man Back can
still fuck off, but I stillloved that book. DCA's Dead Planet Number
three loved it. One of myfavorite series of the last couple of years.
(43:09):
I can't recommend it enough. WeOnly Find Them when They're Dead from
Boom Studios. Very interesting premise.I'm on board for at least another issue
of So The Oval the Oival fromDark Horse loved it. Can't read more
of that. I missed that showand it helped out. The Conspiracy Book
(43:30):
from Xenoscope loved that as well.Guardians of the Galaxy absolutely fantastic. Can't
wait to dive back in it isto see what's going on to see all
of these relationships. Is Nova goingto get bat Wig, mora Is Hercules
and Marvel Boy? Are they goingto continue their relationship or was it just
a space fling. We need toknow. We need to know what happened
(43:52):
at the end of Empire. Sothere you have it. Another great edition
for me of the comedy Slam,this is my favorite. I think you
guys can tell us my favorite portionof the show to talk about these comics.
And the more I do this,the more I realize that it might
be cool to have a guest onnow and then to get their perspective on
some of these issues to see ifthey, you know, get the same
(44:14):
thing out of these books that I'mgetting on. Maybe they do, maybe
they don't. I don't know,but anyway, thank you guys for always
tuning in listening. Please check outmy sponsors Pro Wrestling Tis dot com slash
Shanehems. We got some new shitcoming up. I saw the design for
the newest show and it might bemy favorite of all time. I know
I've said that before, but Ifeel like you're kind of supposed to You're
(44:35):
supposed to be coming up with newerideas that you like better than the ones
before. But this one, thisone kind of takes the cake in.
I'm excited for you guys to seeit. Also call on THEMBLO brand dot
com slash Shanehelms. Check them out. They got some of my classic stuff.
And that's about it. Thank youall for traveling with me once again.
Wait GeOI kicks on Instagram and Twitter, don't forget them. Thanks for
(44:59):
traveling on with me once again onthe highway to Helms. Here's the song
of the week. Boom boom boomboom boom boom boom boom me, watch
you gonna do it? Ain't nowhere to my Judge mccoms with you and
Judge mccoms, jo, watch yourgone when it ain't nowhere to hide,
(45:20):
my Judge mccoms, because it's gonnago slinging it for filing easy childer that
the food of God got him andI'm gonna missify the out of rolling.
I ain't looked at the bun.I ain't bad for dust and that d
be side that can't you tell me? If peach you to cease with their
pas may then by my hand,ain't you got God bless you? We're
(45:44):
another plan to give in front ofthe Lord un three for seven days.
You guys soon be prayed, eventhough the devil's all loved in my food.
But they giving me safe, Theyget them up to play. They
pressed it against the rest when Ichased the passage said against some sobo bus
that rubs. Because there's no muchto come to clue. What can I
do it with all about the fella? Ain't how gonna get a witness letter
the phone we having last week,I run so well and we're bringing with
(46:07):
bringing with bringing with every day.But Daddad didn't we're bringing the bringing bringing
still when the lass look fun ofthe road stow, whether it's tell of
a sament comes we take a bitof the people that snub there and he's
into it. Boo, it's stillto keeping up of his family. Exactly
how many days we got lasting?Were you laughing with basting basting to win
(46:30):
ya radio? Because I know wantmeet you out the rub with y'all?
Know you ever got love with numberthus by lad y'all, really what's good?
Come home? But when they tellthey gotta go back by, all
the little dog could do was cry, cry, I want to kill my
dog. Damn man, I missedmy uncle. Charge y'all any you meet
down in front of its home whenthey did the rude was wrong, hull
(46:51):
road wrong, gott an old,don't gotta dance throne when it did come
bitter Billie, don't gotta show yougetting lean on hold men. If we
play be prayed befrayed every day theday, every day, every day,
and we play to play fray brayevery day after by oh here, hen
(47:23):
I'm gonna miss seven Friday. CanI'm gonna miss seven lighting? Hen I'm
gonna miss seven lighting? Can I'mgonna miss seven body, hen I'm gonna
miss seven lightings. I'm gonna misevenbody living in the Hapeful woods, singing
the straight to something. He woliving in an april woods, singing me
straight this song. We were loveliving in the hapeful woods, singing the
(47:45):
straight this so we we It's anice little wire your sign, he told
me, we lift the shout ofthe money. Y'alln't see my bagga because
I was hounding money related everybody wantto miss The stuff in his knees is
to them easy to fall, andthen said the nickel be into it,
didn't win a kneed gonna come again, but get it again. Tell me
what you gon to do. Somebody, anybody tell me why he can Somebody
(48:07):
anybody tell me why he di bedie. I don't want die wrong.
I'll see you at the cross soyou won't know me, so you won't
can say like the cross or youwon't know menu see you at the crossbow,
(48:30):
or you won't know me right now, so you won't know she like
the crossbow, or you won't benobody
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