August 29, 2023 • 23 mins
In this episode, we talk about our personal beliefs in religion and spirituality. We share how we were raised and what we currently practice today. We don't believe there's a yes or no answer, do you baby and just be a good person!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
This week, a hot new bombshellenters the Villa. I'm Shanaya. I'm
a content creator and a manic moneyspender. I'm Valerie. I'm a serial
entrepreneur and recovering perfectionist. We're hereto bring you life in wellness, tips,
tricks and hacks from experts and ourpersonal experiences. This is the Hawk
(00:21):
Girls Cry Podcast. Welcome back tothe Hawk Girls Cry Podcast. Let's start
(00:41):
off with our grateful Valerie. Whatare you grateful for? I am grateful
for my husband's promotion. He officiallygot promoted to a new position today and
I'm just so proud of him.He's been working so hard, and he
made a really big career change lastyear. And he's been doing the same
(01:02):
job for about ten years and hemade a huge career change. And I'm
just proud of all his hard work. And this promotion is going to make
a really big difference for us.Oh it's so funny because the podcast I
just last edited, he said youwere grateful for aid and two He's getting
so much love and he doesn't evenlisten. I'm grateful. I know he's
(01:23):
not great showing his gratefulness. Ohmy gosh, I'm grateful for abundance.
I feel like my life has beenvery abundant this past month in so many
different ways, with new friendships andmoney and just so many different things.
I'm just grateful for abundance. Loveit. Yes, So today's episode is
(01:48):
all about spirituality or just what webelieve for like what we practice and our
spiritualness, because, as I'm sureour listeners, no, we're not religious
necessarily. M. Yeah, weI feel like both at one point claimed
to be religious though. Did youyou've claimed to be religious? Right?
(02:10):
Oh? I sure it did.I was fully in it. Oh I
can. I can imagine, becauseyou're a You're fully in anything you do.
So I was the bestest. Youwere the most Christian, most religiousist,
the most Christian, the most holy. M Yes, yes, So
is that kind of like whenever youWhen was the first time you even,
(02:30):
like I knew that religion was athing. Well, at birth, I
was baptized. No, I wasraised Catholic, like very strictly Catholic.
Catholics don't play around either, wesure do not. And my mom's like
traditional Mexican Catholics, so like reallyCatholic. Yeah, but obviously I didn't
(02:51):
quite get what that was. ButI went to Catholic school, so it
wasn't even just like practicing Catholics onSunday Church. It was like school school,
like day to day. So Iwent to Catholic school from pre K
all the way through eighth grade,and I think I like started to really
I think I thought that everyone believedwhat I believed. Whenever that's all you
(03:13):
know, you think that's all everyoneelse knows. You think that's just the
world for sure. Yeah, yeah, which is now as an adult,
I can see is like slightly dangerousand like, yeah, not the greatest
thing ever. But I do thinkit, like you know, I do
credit it to a lot of like, you know, some of my core
values. But at the same time, like I can see it also being
(03:34):
like not the greatest thing ever.But I think I recognized that I personally
was religious and like started to embracereligion probably like second or third grade,
Like can I even choose my ownreligion at that point? Like praying and
staff? Oh yeah, I wasin it because I out oh the devoutist.
(03:59):
I had a charity basket outside mybedroom in my house as a kid,
and every day my parents came homefrom work. I'd make them dump
their loose change from work into mycharity basket, and I'd collected every day
after work, and on Sundays Iwould take that charity basket to work and
donate it to the church, whichis like sweet things, like definitely sweet
(04:23):
and like. As soon as Iwas fourteen, I became an altar server
at church. I didn't even knowthis. Oh, I was an altar
boy and like I was a girl, and I know this is a whole
day. Oh, I helped thepriest like do the church shit. Like
I don't even remember what my rolewas. But I dropped the bells in
(04:44):
my first ceremony and I was soembarrassed that I didn't go back. I
got all the sacraments and I knewmy ship. And I remember as like
a elementary school kid, like Ireally wanted to be a nun. Like
that was like my my end,it was to be a nun. Honestly,
being a nun sounds really peaceful,but like my parents always said,
I talked too much to be anun. They were like you, they
(05:08):
won't let you in and they're likeyou're not quiet enough, and I just
I was so in it, andlike we would watch Bible story movies every
night before bed. I was ableto pick a thirty minute Bible movie before
bed every night. And I'm tellingme, I was so in it.
Wow, Okay, so dad beingsaid, you were really really really in
(05:30):
it? When did you start tokind of fall out of it? Because
kind of, like I think,I like, I like claim to be
Catholic all the way through high school, Like I was like, well,
I was technically raised Catholic. Mydad wasn't super Catholic, like my dad
was raised Mormon, and then hedidn't really practice his Catholic Like I knew
(05:51):
through my whole cholcolate my dad wasn'ttechnically Catholic, which always thought was odd.
I was kind of like, well, why is dad not Catholic?
Of we're all Catholic? Yeah,you're like, what's wrong with it?
Yeah? And it was just oneof those my moms like it's a personal
choice. But I think that alsohelped because it made me recognize, like
you don't have to be Catholic tobe like a good person, and like
good people are also not necessarily Catholic. But I think I started to really
(06:12):
start questioning things when I got tocollege and I was like, something's up
here. Yeah. So for me, I was raised very very atheist.
My dad has very strong feelings towardsreligion, which is wild in Texas.
Yeah, because his dad was apriest. Oh my god, I didn't
(06:33):
know that. Yeah, we kindof priest. I don't even know.
But his dad was awful towards him, abused him and made him read the
Bible every night before bed, andwouldn't let him participate in school, school,
anything. Everything had to be throughthe church. He couldn't go to
school, dances, he couldn't.Literally everything was so and you know,
(06:56):
and typically and people, as thestory goes, people like that who are
that hard on their kids and likethat into religion and that by the book,
he was also like had X Yand Z wife and had all of
these estranged kids and all of this. So his dad was honestly just really
shitty to him. So it reallyreally made my dad resentful towards religion.
(07:19):
So anytime I would, like,you know, even bring up Christianity or
anything like, never, oh mygod. So I was raised very like
anti church, anti church, antireligion. But I still, even even
with that being said, I claimedthat I was Christian just because I saw
like in society how prevalent it was, and it's almost like you need to
(07:40):
do this in order to fit inor to be a good person. Or
like I thought there was kind ofsomething wrong with my dad, and I
thought he had just been kind ofburned or I thought there was something wrong
with him. But I was kindof just like, maybe he's just really
better, rightfully so, because thetrauma that he had in his childhood.
But yeah, I was raised.I never was truly truly I never truly
(08:01):
truly practiced it or truly truly believed. I always knew I kind of it
wasn't for me. But I've beena church and I claimed it and I've
done those things, but it's neverbeen a consistent practice for me. Did
you have friends that were like Christianand is that why you like where you
kind of got like the foundation oflike, well, most people are just
(08:22):
Christian. Yeah, my sisters,my non blood sisters, the Night family,
they were you know, taking Bibletrips, and it was almost kind
of like I saw all the peoplethat I kind of aspired to be like
or to be around, and theywere all kind of very into the church.
So I was like, Okay,maybe this is something I need to
(08:43):
do or something I should strive todo. But now they're all atheists as
well, or spiritual or not Christian. Yeah. I saw it kind of
throughout like all of my friends,and that's always how I would go and
everything like that. But I feellike I kind of stopped claiming it after
(09:03):
college around there, like I kindof was just like, hmm, I
don't really know. I kind ofalways just had the feeling of like I
don't really know what I believe,and I'm not going to claim to know
just because I think it's the coolthing to do or what everyone else is
doing. Like, no, wedon't have to make a decisions. Yeah,
(09:24):
and what is it called when youdon't like agnostic? Yeah? I
always told people I was agnostic.Yeah, but I felt like whenever I
got to LA, I sort ofcame into like spirituality and stuff like that,
and I realized that there was Ithe reason I like spirituality is because
(09:46):
I feel like there's not like aset of rules and it's not a set
thing that you have to believe.It's kind of like just whatever is within
yourself. Yeah. Yeah, Sowhen did you kind of like really after
you started questioning things or college,and when did you kind of get to
a place with spirituality or start kindof like experimenting with other things. Yeah.
(10:07):
I think in college, I tooka lot of philosophy classes and I
really enjoyed them, and I tooka lot of classes on like existentialism,
and that's when I started to recognizebecause I had still grown up with like
Catholicism, and even when I wasa kid, I had a lot of
most of my friends were a Baptist, so I had gone to it like
a lot of Baptist church camps andlike Baptist community stuff, and like it
(10:28):
was fun. Like I think thereis a really great community aspect to it.
I think it can be really greatfor kids. I think like you
can build a lot of core values. I think it also can go badly.
Like I think there's all in anyaspect, Like I think there's pros
and cons and like there's shitty campsthat are non religious, and then there's
great camps that are religious or werelike whatever. Yeah, but I was
(10:50):
definitely snobby about it because I wouldalways go to the Baptist camps to be
like but I'm Catholic and like,this isn't my religion, and I was
like just so stuck up about it. And this is me like at ten
years old, being like but theBible says like and I was just so
obnoxious and I remember just wanting tobe a nun so bad, and like
it was just I've never met someonein my life who aspired to be a
nun. Me neither man, noteven in Catholic school, I don't think
(11:13):
I've ever met a nun. Imean I got all my sacraments, like,
and I studied hard, like Idon't think my mom even cared that,
but yeah, I was really intoit. But basically ecologe, I
started taking like a lot of philosophyclasses and studying existentialism, and I was
(11:33):
just really like looking into a lotof like the contradictions of how if and
like this might be this my rufflesand feathers. But basically I just really
got into the idea that like ifGod is all good and if God is
all knowing, like then we don'ttechnically have free will. And it's like
(11:54):
if he knows every single thing thatwe're going to do, then we're not
truly choosing what we're doing with ourlives. And it's like, okay,
but if we don't have free will, then like what's the point. Yeah,
And then it's also like, ifGod is all good but then bad
things happen, what's the point ofhaving an all good God? Yeah,
That's that's the part that always kindof like like, how could if there
(12:18):
is God, how could he letthis happen? Right? And then it's
like, okay, so if he'sall good, but then let's these things
happen, then he's not really allgood. And if we have a God
that's not all good, then what'swhy I have one? Yeah? You
know. So I started to faceall these questions, started to really question
things, and I started to talkto my dad about it, who grew
(12:39):
up Mormon, and you know,Mormon to most, to some people can
be a very extreme religion. Andso my dad was kind of like,
yeah, like I thought about thistoo, and I was like, oh,
my God, he knows. Andso I started talking to him and
I was like okay, Like soI just started to be like much more
open to the idea that like,Okay, this isn't like the end,
I'll be all like this and allthe answers. So it's just like much
(13:01):
more open to like other religions.And started studying like other religions, and
I got really into Buddhism. LikeI've always wanted to kind of like understand
what Buddhism is about, because Ihonestly have no idea, but it seems
really dope. Yeah, and likeI just found that, like it's not
even like a religion, it's justa way of life, Like it's a
philosophy to live by, and theidea is that it's just to live by
(13:24):
good values, to do no harm, to do no harm to people,
to creatures, to earth. AndI'm like yeah, and so I'm like
at that point, like that's whatreligion to me should be is if and
I don't judge anybody who has areligion or believes in a certain thing if
it makes you a better person.Because for me, I was obviously in
it, like I was in it, and it's like I don't I don't
(13:48):
regret that, like it made mewho I am. But to me,
I don't think religion is good ifit makes you hateful. I don't think
it's good if it makes you judgmental, period, And So to me,
it's like, if you need religionand want religion to be a better person,
to raise a family, to havecore values, to instill all these
good qualities that have it, like, please do And also if you're going
(14:11):
to follow it, follow it,follow it, but don't use it to
judge me or to ridicule others,Like, don't use it for that because
like then it's like what's the pointthen, and you're not being a good
Christian or whatever you claim to bebecause thou shalt not judge babes. Yeah,
don't God can judge. Don't useit as a weapon. Yeah,
(14:33):
don't give me on myself. Andthat's the thing to me is like I
personally believe religion should be to makeyou a better person and to live by
good values. And that's what Ifound. Buddhism is like, if you
are trying to be a better person, be a better person, I personally
don't need a God. I don'tneed a rule book, I don't need
(14:54):
testaments. I don't need a Bibleto make me want to be the best
version of myself and to be thebest wife, the best partner, the
best citizen or whatever to do that. Yeah, like if you want that
and you need a rule book orchoose a rule book to do so,
then that's great, Like, pleasedo that. But like I've met people.
I remember when I worked at TwinPeaks, I told this girl I
(15:15):
don't believe in God anymore, andshe was like, so you think murders
okay? And I was like,I don't need How did we get here?
Yeah, I'm like, I don'tneed God to tell me that murder's
wrong. Yeah. Like, ifthat's what you need to stop you from
murdering people, we've got bigger issues. Yeah, that's crazy. I do
think a lot of people also needit or use it to cope with just
(15:37):
existence and death and sure that andI think that's beautiful. Yeah, if
you need or want or just wouldlike to hold on to something that gives
you a purpose or gives you hopeor anything like that, that's amazing.
But I do think it has limitswhen you're putting it on other people or
(15:58):
you're bringing into the government or anythinglike that. Yes, ma'am. I
think you need to use religion foryourself and yourself only, yes, and
not put it on other people.Like I don't expect everyone I come into
contact with to be spiritual or yeah, you know, I think we should
all just hold each other to thestandard of just being good people and like
(16:22):
the Buddhists say, not causing harm. Yeah, Like religion is like a
diet, Like it's not for everybody. Yeah, it's what works for me
may not work for you. Yeah. I can do what I need to
do to be my best self andto take care of myself in the best
way that works for me. Thatmay not look the same for you.
(16:44):
And that's fine. But it's like, how are you going to force your
way out and then shame me forthe way I'm living when it has no
effect on you unless it has aneffect on you. Yeah, exactly,
pull that clip, editor. Buthonestly, like, and I think that's
what religion really needs to be.It's just it just needs to simply be
(17:08):
you know, personal. Yeah,of course, I think it's very naive
to think that everyone is going tohave the same religion. Everyone should have
the same religion. I feel likewe've evolved so far as the human race
to still be putting people in boxesor just assuming people need to live by
(17:29):
a book that someone wrote eons ago. Yeah, and no, honestly,
no t no shade. Like,if you're a Christian and you truly are
a Christian who follows the Bible,I'm sure you're probably a good person.
But I do think there are peoplewho abuse Christianity like people abuse everything else
and use it as a way tobe hateful and I mean put it on
other people and stuff like that,and that's definitely where it becomes dangerous.
(17:52):
Yeah, like you're not bad becauseof Christianity, but if you're using Christianity
to be bad, that's not cool. Like that's where people start to have
a problem with it. Yeah,it's a self righteousness, like I'm so
good, let me now tell youhow all of you are sinning and being
wrong and it's like, bro,we don't even follow this religion. Yeah
yeah, I always say it's likeit's like telling like an adult that you
(18:17):
know, you're going to tell Santathat they did something wrong, but then
they don't believe in Santa. Soit's like this doesn't do anything for me.
It's like the accountability isn't there whenit's like but that because that doesn't
do I'm not scared. Yeah,you know exactly exactly. So what are
the ways that you feel like youkind of practice your own spirituality and what
(18:37):
does that kind of look like foryou. I think for me, like
I would consider myself atheist. Idon't really believe anything. I think in
general as a practice to feel goodand like we said, like for ways
of hope when things are tough andstuff like that, Like I truly believe
like in mindfulness and things that likeare really backed by science. But I
(18:59):
think like I really like the ideaof things like crystals, and like I
like the idea of like tarot cards, and like I don't personally believe in
a lot of that, but Ilike the idea of it. And I'm
like if I like the idea ofit, like or not, you know,
like who's it hurting? You know? If that stuff makes me feel
better? And but I think asa practice I really love like meditation and
(19:22):
like yoga and obviously like therapy andthings like that. But like I think
for me, I think as acontrol freak as well, like when times
are tough and like I really feellike I need like hope or a means
to like working through something. Ithink being able to like reflect on myself
and like being able to lean intothat is much more helpful than like leaning
(19:45):
on like a third party, Iguess, of like or putting it like
all right. I guess sometimes Ido, like with like the universe and
being like a little all work out. I think a lot of times I
do look at it as like anobjective perspective of like, well, let's
just see how this plays out,and like it's not necessarily like the universe
or energies. I'm just kind oflike we'll just see how things unfold,
you know, and like time willtell, and so I think sometimes I
(20:07):
do just kind of lean into liketime and just being like, well,
we'll just see what happens. Yeah, I am the same way. What
I believe is my own spirituality isdefinitely the universe and just energies and things
kind of just like karma, whatyou put out there coming back to you
and manifestation, and I'm super Ifeel like I'm spirituality looks like for me
(20:36):
is just making sure my energy isinligned and asking the universe for what I
want. And I think this worldis a way too crazy and just so
wild that we're even here for itnot to be a reason. And I
don't think that we know any humanreally knows what the reason is. But
(20:56):
I do think there's definitely some biggerpowers at play and bigger powers out there
in the universe that are aware ofus. But I mean that's just personally
what I choose to believe, alsoso that I can cope with death,
because death is really scary. AndI do think that what you put out
(21:18):
there comes back to you, evenlike in another life and things like that,
So I just practice it and justbeing very mindful of karma and my
energy and manifestation and like you said, meditation and yoga and just going back
into myself and being very in tunewith my soul and everything everything else is
(21:40):
soul. Like I always think aboutmy animals, souls and just the souls
of everything around us that's living.Is really wild. I agree. I'm
a big believer in manifestation as well, and I do think like being in
tune with your energy is really important. I think what you put out is
definitely what you get back, andI think that's why it's so important to
be really in touch with like yourwords and being intentional with your energy where
(22:02):
you put your energy and the thingsyou focus on. And I think you
really attract what you put out,and I think that's where you know,
toxic patterns and relationships and stuff likethat can really change and impact your whole
life. So I think that's reallyimportant too. Yeah, whatever works for
you works for you. It's nota one size fits all. If you
are a Christian or your Catholic oranything that follows any type of religion,
(22:29):
that's as great and beautiful as longas you don't I don't want other people
or object them. Yeah, we'renot hating if you're not hating period.
Thanks for listening to the Hot GirlsCry Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode,
show some love and support with arating review, or keep the conversation
going over on our socials t ty l
This week, a hot new bombshellenters the Villa. I'm Shanaya. I'm
a content creator and a manic moneyspender. I'm Valerie. I'm a serial
entrepreneur and recovering perfectionist. We're hereto bring you life in wellness, tips,
tricks and hacks from experts and ourpersonal experiences. This is the Hawk
(00:21):
Girls Cry Podcast. Welcome back tothe Hawk Girls Cry Podcast. Let's start
(00:41):
off with our grateful Valerie. Whatare you grateful for? I am grateful
for my husband's promotion. He officiallygot promoted to a new position today and
I'm just so proud of him.He's been working so hard, and he
made a really big career change lastyear. And he's been doing the same
(01:02):
job for about ten years and hemade a huge career change. And I'm
just proud of all his hard work. And this promotion is going to make
a really big difference for us.Oh it's so funny because the podcast I
just last edited, he said youwere grateful for aid and two He's getting
so much love and he doesn't evenlisten. I'm grateful. I know he's
(01:23):
not great showing his gratefulness. Ohmy gosh, I'm grateful for abundance.
I feel like my life has beenvery abundant this past month in so many
different ways, with new friendships andmoney and just so many different things.
I'm just grateful for abundance. Loveit. Yes, So today's episode is
(01:48):
all about spirituality or just what webelieve for like what we practice and our
spiritualness, because, as I'm sureour listeners, no, we're not religious
necessarily. M. Yeah, weI feel like both at one point claimed
to be religious though. Did youyou've claimed to be religious? Right?
(02:10):
Oh? I sure it did.I was fully in it. Oh I
can. I can imagine, becauseyou're a You're fully in anything you do.
So I was the bestest. Youwere the most Christian, most religiousist,
the most Christian, the most holy. M Yes, yes, So
is that kind of like whenever youWhen was the first time you even,
(02:30):
like I knew that religion was athing. Well, at birth, I
was baptized. No, I wasraised Catholic, like very strictly Catholic.
Catholics don't play around either, wesure do not. And my mom's like
traditional Mexican Catholics, so like reallyCatholic. Yeah, but obviously I didn't
(02:51):
quite get what that was. ButI went to Catholic school, so it
wasn't even just like practicing Catholics onSunday Church. It was like school school,
like day to day. So Iwent to Catholic school from pre K
all the way through eighth grade,and I think I like started to really
I think I thought that everyone believedwhat I believed. Whenever that's all you
(03:13):
know, you think that's all everyoneelse knows. You think that's just the
world for sure. Yeah, yeah, which is now as an adult,
I can see is like slightly dangerousand like, yeah, not the greatest
thing ever. But I do thinkit, like you know, I do
credit it to a lot of like, you know, some of my core
values. But at the same time, like I can see it also being
(03:34):
like not the greatest thing ever.But I think I recognized that I personally
was religious and like started to embracereligion probably like second or third grade,
Like can I even choose my ownreligion at that point? Like praying and
staff? Oh yeah, I wasin it because I out oh the devoutist.
(03:59):
I had a charity basket outside mybedroom in my house as a kid,
and every day my parents came homefrom work. I'd make them dump
their loose change from work into mycharity basket, and I'd collected every day
after work, and on Sundays Iwould take that charity basket to work and
donate it to the church, whichis like sweet things, like definitely sweet
(04:23):
and like. As soon as Iwas fourteen, I became an altar server
at church. I didn't even knowthis. Oh, I was an altar
boy and like I was a girl, and I know this is a whole
day. Oh, I helped thepriest like do the church shit. Like
I don't even remember what my rolewas. But I dropped the bells in
(04:44):
my first ceremony and I was soembarrassed that I didn't go back. I
got all the sacraments and I knewmy ship. And I remember as like
a elementary school kid, like Ireally wanted to be a nun. Like
that was like my my end,it was to be a nun. Honestly,
being a nun sounds really peaceful,but like my parents always said,
I talked too much to be anun. They were like you, they
(05:08):
won't let you in and they're likeyou're not quiet enough, and I just
I was so in it, andlike we would watch Bible story movies every
night before bed. I was ableto pick a thirty minute Bible movie before
bed every night. And I'm tellingme, I was so in it.
Wow, Okay, so dad beingsaid, you were really really really in
(05:30):
it? When did you start tokind of fall out of it? Because
kind of, like I think,I like, I like claim to be
Catholic all the way through high school, Like I was like, well,
I was technically raised Catholic. Mydad wasn't super Catholic, like my dad
was raised Mormon, and then hedidn't really practice his Catholic Like I knew
(05:51):
through my whole cholcolate my dad wasn'ttechnically Catholic, which always thought was odd.
I was kind of like, well, why is dad not Catholic?
Of we're all Catholic? Yeah,you're like, what's wrong with it?
Yeah? And it was just oneof those my moms like it's a personal
choice. But I think that alsohelped because it made me recognize, like
you don't have to be Catholic tobe like a good person, and like
good people are also not necessarily Catholic. But I think I started to really
(06:12):
start questioning things when I got tocollege and I was like, something's up
here. Yeah. So for me, I was raised very very atheist.
My dad has very strong feelings towardsreligion, which is wild in Texas.
Yeah, because his dad was apriest. Oh my god, I didn't
(06:33):
know that. Yeah, we kindof priest. I don't even know.
But his dad was awful towards him, abused him and made him read the
Bible every night before bed, andwouldn't let him participate in school, school,
anything. Everything had to be throughthe church. He couldn't go to
school, dances, he couldn't.Literally everything was so and you know,
(06:56):
and typically and people, as thestory goes, people like that who are
that hard on their kids and likethat into religion and that by the book,
he was also like had X Yand Z wife and had all of
these estranged kids and all of this. So his dad was honestly just really
shitty to him. So it reallyreally made my dad resentful towards religion.
(07:19):
So anytime I would, like,you know, even bring up Christianity or
anything like, never, oh mygod. So I was raised very like
anti church, anti church, antireligion. But I still, even even
with that being said, I claimedthat I was Christian just because I saw
like in society how prevalent it was, and it's almost like you need to
(07:40):
do this in order to fit inor to be a good person. Or
like I thought there was kind ofsomething wrong with my dad, and I
thought he had just been kind ofburned or I thought there was something wrong
with him. But I was kindof just like, maybe he's just really
better, rightfully so, because thetrauma that he had in his childhood.
But yeah, I was raised.I never was truly truly I never truly
(08:01):
truly practiced it or truly truly believed. I always knew I kind of it
wasn't for me. But I've beena church and I claimed it and I've
done those things, but it's neverbeen a consistent practice for me. Did
you have friends that were like Christianand is that why you like where you
kind of got like the foundation oflike, well, most people are just
(08:22):
Christian. Yeah, my sisters,my non blood sisters, the Night family,
they were you know, taking Bibletrips, and it was almost kind
of like I saw all the peoplethat I kind of aspired to be like
or to be around, and theywere all kind of very into the church.
So I was like, Okay,maybe this is something I need to
(08:43):
do or something I should strive todo. But now they're all atheists as
well, or spiritual or not Christian. Yeah. I saw it kind of
throughout like all of my friends,and that's always how I would go and
everything like that. But I feellike I kind of stopped claiming it after
(09:03):
college around there, like I kindof was just like, hmm, I
don't really know. I kind ofalways just had the feeling of like I
don't really know what I believe,and I'm not going to claim to know
just because I think it's the coolthing to do or what everyone else is
doing. Like, no, wedon't have to make a decisions. Yeah,
(09:24):
and what is it called when youdon't like agnostic? Yeah? I
always told people I was agnostic.Yeah, but I felt like whenever I
got to LA, I sort ofcame into like spirituality and stuff like that,
and I realized that there was Ithe reason I like spirituality is because
(09:46):
I feel like there's not like aset of rules and it's not a set
thing that you have to believe.It's kind of like just whatever is within
yourself. Yeah. Yeah, Sowhen did you kind of like really after
you started questioning things or college,and when did you kind of get to
a place with spirituality or start kindof like experimenting with other things. Yeah.
(10:07):
I think in college, I tooka lot of philosophy classes and I
really enjoyed them, and I tooka lot of classes on like existentialism,
and that's when I started to recognizebecause I had still grown up with like
Catholicism, and even when I wasa kid, I had a lot of
most of my friends were a Baptist, so I had gone to it like
a lot of Baptist church camps andlike Baptist community stuff, and like it
(10:28):
was fun. Like I think thereis a really great community aspect to it.
I think it can be really greatfor kids. I think like you
can build a lot of core values. I think it also can go badly.
Like I think there's all in anyaspect, Like I think there's pros
and cons and like there's shitty campsthat are non religious, and then there's
great camps that are religious or werelike whatever. Yeah, but I was
(10:50):
definitely snobby about it because I wouldalways go to the Baptist camps to be
like but I'm Catholic and like,this isn't my religion, and I was
like just so stuck up about it. And this is me like at ten
years old, being like but theBible says like and I was just so
obnoxious and I remember just wanting tobe a nun so bad, and like
it was just I've never met someonein my life who aspired to be a
nun. Me neither man, noteven in Catholic school, I don't think
(11:13):
I've ever met a nun. Imean I got all my sacraments, like,
and I studied hard, like Idon't think my mom even cared that,
but yeah, I was really intoit. But basically ecologe, I
started taking like a lot of philosophyclasses and studying existentialism, and I was
(11:33):
just really like looking into a lotof like the contradictions of how if and
like this might be this my rufflesand feathers. But basically I just really
got into the idea that like ifGod is all good and if God is
all knowing, like then we don'ttechnically have free will. And it's like
(11:54):
if he knows every single thing thatwe're going to do, then we're not
truly choosing what we're doing with ourlives. And it's like, okay,
but if we don't have free will, then like what's the point. Yeah,
And then it's also like, ifGod is all good but then bad
things happen, what's the point ofhaving an all good God? Yeah,
That's that's the part that always kindof like like, how could if there
(12:18):
is God, how could he letthis happen? Right? And then it's
like, okay, so if he'sall good, but then let's these things
happen, then he's not really allgood. And if we have a God
that's not all good, then what'swhy I have one? Yeah? You
know. So I started to faceall these questions, started to really question
things, and I started to talkto my dad about it, who grew
(12:39):
up Mormon, and you know,Mormon to most, to some people can
be a very extreme religion. Andso my dad was kind of like,
yeah, like I thought about thistoo, and I was like, oh,
my God, he knows. Andso I started talking to him and
I was like okay, Like soI just started to be like much more
open to the idea that like,Okay, this isn't like the end,
I'll be all like this and allthe answers. So it's just like much
(13:01):
more open to like other religions.And started studying like other religions, and
I got really into Buddhism. LikeI've always wanted to kind of like understand
what Buddhism is about, because Ihonestly have no idea, but it seems
really dope. Yeah, and likeI just found that, like it's not
even like a religion, it's justa way of life, Like it's a
philosophy to live by, and theidea is that it's just to live by
(13:24):
good values, to do no harm, to do no harm to people,
to creatures, to earth. AndI'm like yeah, and so I'm like
at that point, like that's whatreligion to me should be is if and
I don't judge anybody who has areligion or believes in a certain thing if
it makes you a better person.Because for me, I was obviously in
it, like I was in it, and it's like I don't I don't
(13:48):
regret that, like it made mewho I am. But to me,
I don't think religion is good ifit makes you hateful. I don't think
it's good if it makes you judgmental, period, And So to me,
it's like, if you need religionand want religion to be a better person,
to raise a family, to havecore values, to instill all these
good qualities that have it, like, please do And also if you're going
(14:11):
to follow it, follow it,follow it, but don't use it to
judge me or to ridicule others,Like, don't use it for that because
like then it's like what's the pointthen, and you're not being a good
Christian or whatever you claim to bebecause thou shalt not judge babes. Yeah,
don't God can judge. Don't useit as a weapon. Yeah,
(14:33):
don't give me on myself. Andthat's the thing to me is like I
personally believe religion should be to makeyou a better person and to live by
good values. And that's what Ifound. Buddhism is like, if you
are trying to be a better person, be a better person, I personally
don't need a God. I don'tneed a rule book, I don't need
(14:54):
testaments. I don't need a Bibleto make me want to be the best
version of myself and to be thebest wife, the best partner, the
best citizen or whatever to do that. Yeah, like if you want that
and you need a rule book orchoose a rule book to do so,
then that's great, Like, pleasedo that. But like I've met people.
I remember when I worked at TwinPeaks, I told this girl I
(15:15):
don't believe in God anymore, andshe was like, so you think murders
okay? And I was like,I don't need How did we get here?
Yeah, I'm like, I don'tneed God to tell me that murder's
wrong. Yeah. Like, ifthat's what you need to stop you from
murdering people, we've got bigger issues. Yeah, that's crazy. I do
think a lot of people also needit or use it to cope with just
(15:37):
existence and death and sure that andI think that's beautiful. Yeah, if
you need or want or just wouldlike to hold on to something that gives
you a purpose or gives you hopeor anything like that, that's amazing.
But I do think it has limitswhen you're putting it on other people or
(15:58):
you're bringing into the government or anythinglike that. Yes, ma'am. I
think you need to use religion foryourself and yourself only, yes, and
not put it on other people.Like I don't expect everyone I come into
contact with to be spiritual or yeah, you know, I think we should
all just hold each other to thestandard of just being good people and like
(16:22):
the Buddhists say, not causing harm. Yeah, Like religion is like a
diet, Like it's not for everybody. Yeah, it's what works for me
may not work for you. Yeah. I can do what I need to
do to be my best self andto take care of myself in the best
way that works for me. Thatmay not look the same for you.
(16:44):
And that's fine. But it's like, how are you going to force your
way out and then shame me forthe way I'm living when it has no
effect on you unless it has aneffect on you. Yeah, exactly,
pull that clip, editor. Buthonestly, like, and I think that's
what religion really needs to be.It's just it just needs to simply be
(17:08):
you know, personal. Yeah,of course, I think it's very naive
to think that everyone is going tohave the same religion. Everyone should have
the same religion. I feel likewe've evolved so far as the human race
to still be putting people in boxesor just assuming people need to live by
(17:29):
a book that someone wrote eons ago. Yeah, and no, honestly,
no t no shade. Like,if you're a Christian and you truly are
a Christian who follows the Bible,I'm sure you're probably a good person.
But I do think there are peoplewho abuse Christianity like people abuse everything else
and use it as a way tobe hateful and I mean put it on
other people and stuff like that,and that's definitely where it becomes dangerous.
(17:52):
Yeah, like you're not bad becauseof Christianity, but if you're using Christianity
to be bad, that's not cool. Like that's where people start to have
a problem with it. Yeah,it's a self righteousness, like I'm so
good, let me now tell youhow all of you are sinning and being
wrong and it's like, bro,we don't even follow this religion. Yeah
yeah, I always say it's likeit's like telling like an adult that you
(18:17):
know, you're going to tell Santathat they did something wrong, but then
they don't believe in Santa. Soit's like this doesn't do anything for me.
It's like the accountability isn't there whenit's like but that because that doesn't
do I'm not scared. Yeah,you know exactly exactly. So what are
the ways that you feel like youkind of practice your own spirituality and what
(18:37):
does that kind of look like foryou. I think for me, like
I would consider myself atheist. Idon't really believe anything. I think in
general as a practice to feel goodand like we said, like for ways
of hope when things are tough andstuff like that, Like I truly believe
like in mindfulness and things that likeare really backed by science. But I
(18:59):
think like I really like the ideaof things like crystals, and like I
like the idea of like tarot cards, and like I don't personally believe in
a lot of that, but Ilike the idea of it. And I'm
like if I like the idea ofit, like or not, you know,
like who's it hurting? You know? If that stuff makes me feel
better? And but I think asa practice I really love like meditation and
(19:22):
like yoga and obviously like therapy andthings like that. But like I think
for me, I think as acontrol freak as well, like when times
are tough and like I really feellike I need like hope or a means
to like working through something. Ithink being able to like reflect on myself
and like being able to lean intothat is much more helpful than like leaning
(19:45):
on like a third party, Iguess, of like or putting it like
all right. I guess sometimes Ido, like with like the universe and
being like a little all work out. I think a lot of times I
do look at it as like anobjective perspective of like, well, let's
just see how this plays out,and like it's not necessarily like the universe
or energies. I'm just kind oflike we'll just see how things unfold,
you know, and like time willtell, and so I think sometimes I
(20:07):
do just kind of lean into liketime and just being like, well,
we'll just see what happens. Yeah, I am the same way. What
I believe is my own spirituality isdefinitely the universe and just energies and things
kind of just like karma, whatyou put out there coming back to you
and manifestation, and I'm super Ifeel like I'm spirituality looks like for me
(20:36):
is just making sure my energy isinligned and asking the universe for what I
want. And I think this worldis a way too crazy and just so
wild that we're even here for itnot to be a reason. And I
don't think that we know any humanreally knows what the reason is. But
(20:56):
I do think there's definitely some biggerpowers at play and bigger powers out there
in the universe that are aware ofus. But I mean that's just personally
what I choose to believe, alsoso that I can cope with death,
because death is really scary. AndI do think that what you put out
(21:18):
there comes back to you, evenlike in another life and things like that,
So I just practice it and justbeing very mindful of karma and my
energy and manifestation and like you said, meditation and yoga and just going back
into myself and being very in tunewith my soul and everything everything else is
(21:40):
soul. Like I always think aboutmy animals, souls and just the souls
of everything around us that's living.Is really wild. I agree. I'm
a big believer in manifestation as well, and I do think like being in
tune with your energy is really important. I think what you put out is
definitely what you get back, andI think that's why it's so important to
be really in touch with like yourwords and being intentional with your energy where
(22:02):
you put your energy and the thingsyou focus on. And I think you
really attract what you put out,and I think that's where you know,
toxic patterns and relationships and stuff likethat can really change and impact your whole
life. So I think that's reallyimportant too. Yeah, whatever works for
you works for you. It's nota one size fits all. If you
are a Christian or your Catholic oranything that follows any type of religion,
(22:29):
that's as great and beautiful as longas you don't I don't want other people
or object them. Yeah, we'renot hating if you're not hating period.
Thanks for listening to the Hot GirlsCry Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode,
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