July 2, 2023 • 25 mins
We recorded this episode in April just after Val's bithday. But we're still celebrating ha Listen as Shaniah interviews Val and she reflects on 28 and shares goals for 29!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
This week, a hot new bombshellenters the Villa. I'm Shania, I'm
a content creator and a manic moneyspender. I'm Valerie. I'm a serial
entrepreneur and recovering perfectionist. We're hereto bring you life in wellness tips,
tricks and hacks from experts and ourpersonal experiences. This is the Hawk Girls
(00:21):
Cry Podcast. Hi guys, welcomeback. This past week was VAL's birthday.
How did you celebrate Val? Idragged it out as much as I
(00:43):
could. My birthday was on aMonday, so I wanted a very chill
birthday this year. I'm very awareof what I like and what I don't
like, and what I don't likeis partying yes or getting hit, murder,
getting hungover. So I wanted avery chills and mature, sophisticated birthday.
That's what you got because she's atwenty nine year old, classy woman.
(01:04):
She's very classy. I don't knowhow my ratchet ass ke up with
a friend like this. We celebratein different ways. But on the Monday
m my husband took off work,which was nice, and we went for
a hike first thing in the morningbecause I wanted to get out in nature
(01:26):
and hang out with my puppies andmy husband. So we went on a
nice hike and then we picked upa coffee and then we went home and
he got me flowers and a giftand I know, um, and then
I hung out with you. That'sright because even though husband's off, we
gotta get our chenaia time here inAnd we went and got another coffee,
(01:47):
yause, what's Spell's birthday without multiplecoffee stops. And we went to Lala
Land and they gave me free cookieum, and we got it was very
special there was. It was cute. Um. And then we and you
went to Upkeep to see Izzy andwe got some botox, some filler twenty
nine. What did we get?Um? I got some bowtok. I
(02:13):
got a lip flip, yes,and I got some bowtalks in my master's
because I liked to clench these teethand get migraines. And then I got
some chin filler. Her first facefiller. She's had lip filler once once,
yeah, but this was her secondtime ever getting injected and it was
her first time not in her lips. Yeah. Like I got in botox
I handful of times, but I'venever gotten like filler filler, like to
(02:34):
change my face. I guess yeah, so yeah, and that was that
was a bruiser. Yeah, itwas bruised for like a weekend. She's
out cute. Yeah, what didyou get? I got my jaw.
I haven't even left chiseled my Instagram. I got my I got my jaw,
and I really like it. Ididn't think I was not even excited
about it. But now I'm like, who, why didn't even tell me?
(02:58):
Izzy knows all like offended? Nobodywas like, go get jawsillar the
hell? And then what did wedo? Um? What did we do?
M then you we chilled for therest of the week and then oh
and then for the weekend for thecelebrations, we U. I got an
Opoly dress, which it is veryexciting. I like mentally decided on this
(03:20):
dress like two months before my birthday. I got like one of those black
sparkly like you know, like theo G classic Opoly dresses, all black
of course, because we don't wearcolor. The instagram for details, yes,
reference Instagram at Valeri Rosio. Andthen we went to a really cute
Italian restaurant in Dallas butt them nevergo there ever. Yeah, we had
some rough service. They were reallynice and like the food was really good,
(03:44):
but the service was it was athey weren't having their best performance.
They took an hour to come outwith our food. Yeah, we think
that they just forgot our order.And we had tickets to go see the
Candle Light String Quartet in at theFrontier Flight Museum in Dallas, which was
like exactly what I wanted to forbirthday. It was like I wanted to
go to the show. They weredoing a Queen tribute. I love Queen,
(04:05):
and I was like, this ishow I want to spend my birthday.
It's doing an activity, it hasmusic, there's no like hardcore partying
involved. It's exactly what I want. And oh we forgot. We got
We got pedicaars and everything that morningtoo. Yeah, that morning before the
dinner and the string quartet, wewent to yoga. We went to yoga
and then we went and got pedicaresa bomb, and then and had coffee
(04:27):
and another one, and then wegot ready for dinner. Yes, then
we got ready for dinner. Yeah, So we did that dinner and then
we went to the Candle Lights StringQuartet, which was so cute, highly
recommend going if it's in your city. And then we went back to Shanaia's
and cut our cake and actually ateour dinner because we had to take it
to go because the restaurant was solate. Yeah, which was it was
very yummy, but like probably wouldhave been yummy or at a restaurant.
(04:49):
And that was it. Yeah,so fun, It was so fun.
Oh, the night before, wewent to dinner with my family and I
brought because she's part of the fam. Now, sure I am. I
felt very honor. Yeah, wewent to another Italian restaurant. Apparently I'm
loving Italian right now. Yeah.It was interesting because you told me you
picked all these restaurants, but likeI never usually choose Italian. No,
(05:09):
I like asked her a while backto go to like I picked on aesthetics.
Yeah, like it didn't look atthe menus, looked at the restaurant
pictures and picked them. I willsay the Italian place we went to was
very very beautiful, yes, andthe first one great service. Yeah,
great food. They were missing likehalf their menu though, so we're just
kind of having a rough time butall good still. But that was with
my family, which is really nicebecause now she and I is part of
(05:29):
the FAMI. Yeah, so ona perfect week, perfect perfect, perfect
perfect. Yeah, it was verysweet. I guess we should start with
what we're grateful for. What areyou grateful for? Yes, I'm grateful
to be going on vacation with younext week period, very much need one.
Yes, And I'm grateful to havetwo successful, thriving businesses that are
(05:56):
keeping me busy and bringing in themoney. The money as well. Yeah,
it comes hand in hand usually.Yeah, what about you? I
am that grateful that it is warmingup, the sun is out, and
I'm also grateful that my booty isabout to be in the sun and T
minus three four days now. Soyeah, so excited. Yes, today
(06:20):
we have a super fun episode becauseit was VAL's birthday this past week,
So this episode is going to beall about her reflection and just basically a
bunch of questions about her goals andall of that for last year and this
upcoming year and just life in general. So I'm so excited. Same birthday,
(06:44):
girl, aries, Baby aries,Babe aries are like my favorite.
So let's just jump right in.What is the biggest thing or things that
you learned last year? Just ingeneral? I found last year after a
lot of effort and therapy that themore I take care of myself the more
(07:05):
and like the more time and intentionI put into taking care of myself,
the better everything else just kind oflike falls together. So like I found
last year that when I was workingthe least and taking the most time for
myself to like not even do anythingspecific, but like just taking more time
for my morning routine and like makingsure I went to the gym and stuff
like that, that like the businessdid much better, and like we got
(07:27):
clients and I didn't have to likestress and hustle so hard around work.
Like it just kind of came together, which is validating because I feel like
that's a hard truth to swallow becauselike you think about it logically and you're
like, but I need to grindto grind, but it all just kind
of comes together. Yeah, youcan't do anything unless you are feeling good
(07:48):
yourself. Like nothing's ever going towork as well unless you feel like you've
spent the time and you're giving yourselfthat love and all that. And I
like to learn the hard way,so like I needed to experience that to
believe it. You really do,you really do, Like sign on my
way. What are your three mainfocuses going into this new year that you're
turning twenty nine, twenty nine,twenty nine. My goals for this year
(08:13):
is to work less and make moremoney. Rage more, No raging,
thank you though, rest, restmore. Yeah, I want to I
want to work a lot less,Like I really want to get into a
point of my businesses, and likeI did it last year, but it
just kind of things shifted, butlike I want to get to appoint my
(08:35):
businesses where it's a bit more streamline, so I can work a lot less
and be more of a CEO andless hands on. And then I'm obviously
with having a really structured team andlike our processes. I want to be
able to bring in more money doingthat. And I honestly justlike it sounds
so cheesy, but I really dojust want to have the confidence of a
mediocre white man because I just sooften I come across these dudes and I'm
(08:58):
like, to just be a manin this industry, in this world.
The audacity that they have, I'mlike, why do I Yeah? And
I'm like, why do I everdoubt myself? Like these men are just
walking up that are like and likenot to say that all men are shit,
but like I'll meet someone and I'mlike, I know I'm hustling harder,
I know I'm doing this or that, But then I'm over here nicol
(09:20):
and diming myself and like bringing myown value down because i want to make
sure they're getting every ounce of likewhat they're paying for and stuff like that.
And I'm just like, but thenthere's these men who come up and
are doing the same thing as me, and they're like charging, you know,
ten times as me, or justasking for what they want or just
having the nerve, and I'm like, why why can't I have that confidence?
And so that's the goal, isjust to come in and have more
(09:41):
audacity as you should a freaking patriarchyman. We're taught to, you know,
just as everyone else wants be smaller, don't make a fuss YadA YadA,
YadA, YadA YadA. But yeah, well, especially as like an
entrepreneur as well, like and beingyoung and small and like physically small.
Yeah, I do feel like Iget a lot of I'm approached with doubt
(10:05):
and it's like I have to provemyself before I'm given any respect. While
with most men, it's like assumedyes, and I'm just not here for
it because I've worked. I workharder than most people I know, men
or women, and say, youwork harder than everyone I know, and
like, I know that at mycore, and so why why am I
over here like doubting myself? So, like, whether it's clients or just
(10:28):
in life in general, I'm like, I'm just gonna have so much more
audacity because I deserve it. Ifeel like that's your theme for twenty nine
is having the confidence of a mediocrewhite man. Yes, and we absolutely
love to see it. I'm goingto be reminding you we'll get T shirts,
yes, But if you had tonarrow it down, what are your
(10:48):
three main focuses for this upcoming year? I know you said rest for one,
Yeah, rest for sure. Ijust want to not only make more
time for rest, also really figureout what allows me to rest, because
I think that's always been something wherelike when people are like, well,
what do you do for fun orlike what do you enjoy? And I'm
like, I don't know, yeah, And so I want to like really
(11:11):
embrace things that I do enjoy thatlike help me recharge. So not necessarily
like laying on the couch resting,but just like really being intentional about spending
time and making time for things.So I don't want to wait until I
have the time. I want tomake sure, Like when I look at
my schedule for the week, Iknow, like, Okay, I'm off
at five because I need to dothis in order to recharge. Yeah.
(11:31):
So yes, I don't want tobe running on empty and no man,
because we are doing that today.It's not fine. We're hanging by the
read So yeah, rest is oneof my three focuses. I also really
have been just so happy with whereI've gotten, like in my fitness and
like wellness journey. I feel likeit's been years to the works of just
trying to find structure and balance thatworks for me as an entrepreneur and where
(11:54):
I'm at in life, and Ifeel like I've really achieved that lately,
and so I just want to crankit up and like keep it up.
And I've been really loving it.I'm loving the results I'm seeing and loving
how I'm feeling, and I justwant to be able to maintain that continue
focusing putting the same amount of focusand attention on your fitness. Yeah,
and just reach bigger goals, youknow, yes, because do you feel
like I've made a lot of progress, And like, I think that's sometimes
(12:15):
where I get carried away too,where like I'll start to see progress and
then I go too hard and thenI fall off. And so I don't
want to do that either. Imean, I'll want to see some business
success, but like I said,I feel like the less I focus on
the business and the more I focuson me, like the business just kind
of does hit her own thing.I think you kind of already said one
too with the business, where likeyou want to have it running a little
bit more self sufficiently. Yeah,so you can kind of like just oversee
(12:37):
everything without having to do like alot of the manual labor. Yeah,
And like I know how to dothat, and like we got to that
place, but I just want todo that in scale, and so yeah,
I think just having the businesses bea bit more self sufficient. I
have some financial goals for them overthe next year. Of course, the
businesses, I very much see themas their own like beings and they're both
very much growing in their own way. But just letting them do their thing,
(13:00):
but also making sure that it worksfor me in my life, because
what's the point of having them ifthey don't benefit me. Getting closer to
your thirties and how day, Ohmy gosh, but it's a real thing.
See the fact that you're having thatreaction, you know, like it's
(13:26):
scary. The question was getting closecloser to your thirties, how do you
feel? But I guess that sumsit up. I hadn't thought about it.
Honestly, that was like an epiphanyright there. No, I feel
I feel good. I think theolder we get, the more we realize
that, like when we were younger, we had like a complete misconception of
(13:46):
what adulthood was. Yes, becauseI've always been a psycho about plans.
So I remember being in like middleschool in high school and being like,
I'm going to graduate college by twentyone and I'm going to have a career
by twenty two, a husband bytwenty three ford and like this and that
It's funny because like, as Iget closer to thirty and I still don't
have a lot of my life together, I'm like, wow, how did
(14:07):
our parents do this with children?I just want to build the life that
I want, and I think justbeing able to let go of that standard
of like, well, I'm supposedto have had done this, or I'm
supposed to have had done this orthat or achieved this by now has been
helping. But I think both meand my husband have non traditional jobs and
non traditional career paths, so itis taking us longer to get to certain
(14:28):
I guess standards that we would havemet if we had gotten married, about
a house, got a normal career, straight out of college, whatever,
Yeah, definitely. And so Ithink just like now, like we're really
getting to a place where, likewe have a very we're setting ourselves up
for that success and to achieve whatwe want to achieve in our thirties.
So it's exciting, but I thinkit's also like just giving yourself grace and
(14:48):
knowing that everyone at our age hasdebt, everyone in our age has loans,
nobody. I have friends who havehouses and kids, but they may
not be doing what they want todo in their career vice versa. And
so I think to figuring it out. Yeah, just figuring it out to
some degree if you're not you know, forty forty five, probably, I
mean even so then I'm sure there'sthings that you're working through and figuring out
(15:09):
stuff like that. But I thinkwe just don't see that because as kids,
when our parents are in their thirties, they're like our adults who know
everything. Yeah, but looking back, I'm like, how did they were
truly figuring it out with children?Yeah, but I'm excited to see the
life that were me and my husband. I mean, you mean you were
building together. We are truly settingmyself up for success to do that.
(15:31):
But then also I think just seeingour thirties is like a chance to achieve
the life that we want. I'mvery aware that I have like a non
traditional career path, but there's apurpose and reason for all of that and
just letting that be because I wantto have this in that in my thirties
or in my adulthood. Yeah,exactly, are you feeling more womanly?
Are you feeling more like a woman? No? No, I am a
(15:52):
kid, and I don't know.I'm a little girl. I am a
child and I still need my mummy. I just asked you because I feel
like I'm about to be twenty eighththis year, in like five months,
but I feel like I have likethis past year, I felt the most
womanly, like womanly, like I'ma woman now, you know? Yeah
I don't. Yeah yeah in myhead later it's the chubby cheeks. Yeah,
(16:17):
there's there's times, like there's instancesin the day where I'm like,
I am a woman, I'm anadult. Then I spend most of my
life being like what am I doing? How like I need to call out
to come out. If you hadten times the budget you have, now,
what would you spend it on inlife in general? Yeah, just
like give me like three things thatwould be like the first thing she would
(16:38):
go out and buy. Oh,it's a fun one. That's a hard
one. No, that's so easyfor me, Like this is I'm like
my first instinct is like practical,like okay, well Aiden's car he needs
to replace his car soon, likesnore. I really don't know. That's
(16:59):
so hard, which is kind ofnice because I'm like, oh, I
have everything I need. Yeah,that is nice. There's a lot to
be grateful for, Like in thismoment, you're not wanting for a bunch
of things. Yeah, what areyours? That'll help me? I don't
know what the word is, likeplot twist. I would get my button
plants out. I would get areally nice facial and I would probably just
(17:21):
plan like a really dope trip tolike the Mouth Dives or something. I
would definitely do a trip. Ithink a trip would be nice, I
guess because like we still make withinour own budget. I still do these
things. Yeah, we still doa trip. We still do the things.
But yeah, I wouldn't wouldn't mindsome cosmetic stuff, you know,
wouldn't mind a little bit of chinLiPo. You know, I'll take that,
(17:42):
you know, just a little stickhere, stick here, a little
maybe a new couch. Wouldn't minda new couch. Oh what's the bed,
the soft frame bed? Oh yeah, yeah, you do an apartment
makeover first? Yeah, I wouldget like my last couple piece of furniture
that I'm really wanting. Yeah,and then yeah, good trip. But
I'm like that is nice and validingbecause I'm like, I do get all
(18:02):
these things for myself in my owntime and my own pace, in my
own budget. Yet if I hadthe money to spend though the soft fame
mattress, but like a couple ofd or purses here and there, I
wouldn't mind, Like you know,now, you wouldn't mind. I wouldn't
mind a chanel or a praduc like, you know, just like a very
staple Percy purse. You know,Yes, yes, I do want to.
(18:25):
I do want to maybe. Imean it wouldn't be with my ten
thousand, but if my husband wantedto, you know, upgrade the wedding
ring, then I wouldn't mind thateither. Some tattoos, I would definitely
does some tatos, wouldn't I,yes, you would, you would for
sure. I'm due for two morepiercings and then let me be a couple
of tattoos. See so fun.That's my favorite question, favorite question.
Okay, what advice would you giveto your twenty one year old self with
(18:48):
the life experience you have now?I think about this all the time as
like part of like my gratitude practiceis what would I tell my younger self?
And oh, it's like so much, but I really just think I
would just want to thank her forlike working so hard, yeah, because
grind in yeah, and like shewas out there getting it. I'm still
grinding now, but I wouldn't haveeven gotten here had she not tried so
(19:11):
hard. And sometimes I look backand like even when I talk to people
about like my childhood. What wasin me that made me do, like
work that hard, and like,I'm glad I had it. When you
look at twenty one year olds,you're not sitting there thinking like, oh,
they're hustling, you know, you'reout there doing niche. Yeah,
And like I'm looking back and I'mlike, why was she what was she
doing? Yeah? I think likethe advice in general would be, don't
(19:32):
let it all be at the expenseof your health. Like, don't let
it be at the expense of yourmental health. It's hard, it's kind
of a it's kind of twofold nowlooking back because I'm like, I genuinely
don't think I would have gotten herehad I not worked that hard. Yeah,
if I had had more balance andmore self care and that a sacrifice.
Yeah, And I'm like, wouldI have made it this far had
I not gone to that extreme?I don't know. But it has also
(19:56):
taken a lot of undoing to recoverfrom, like some of the damage I've
done to my mental health to myphysical health, Yes, by taking that
extreme. So it's like, yeah, you're like you don't want to tell
your younger self like focus on this, but then you like jeopardize the businesses.
Yeah, when you're doing that.But you know, I know how
who who you are at your course, So I don't I feel like that
(20:18):
would have never happened, you know. Yeah, And like like I said,
like I like to learn the hardway, so like she wouldn't have
known. Yeah, Like there's noway. But if we if I could
even talk to my little bit youngerself, then it would have been dumped.
My ex changed my college plans alittle bit. Yeah, but if
I hadn't changed my college plans forhim, then I wouldn't have met my
husband. Yeah, it's like whatwould that have affected? Yeah, but
yeah, she should have dumped hima long time ago. I mean it
(20:41):
was a long time ago now,but like she'd never go with him.
Yeah, like you just erased thatchapter. Yeah, what business advice would
you give her? Oh so muchif you were talking to someone who's twenty
one right now and they were likethat, Like, if you could just
give me like the biggest piece ofbusiness advice, what would it be?
It's so hard because it's like againlike you kind of have to do it
(21:02):
and experience it to get it.Saying no in the beginning is so freaking
hard. But I think saying noto things that don't feel right, and
like having a really good like reallyreading the red flags and like letting the
red flags stop you. There weresomeoney has d be in a situation at
the beginning where I felt so unsureof myself because I was a new business
owner, yeah, that I wouldsee a red flag and I'd be like,
(21:22):
well, maybe, like they're older, they've been in business longer,
they must know. But then likeI realized now, like doesn't matter your
age or so many they're shitty businessowners. They're shitty people for sure.
And so looking back, I wouldalmost let myself get take an advantage of
because I would doubt my own instinctsand intuition, and then I would end
up in a pickle. And thenI'd be like, I knew yeah from
the get go. And so Ithink being able to say no and like
(21:44):
read a situation for what it is. Yeah, just because you're new in
the game doesn't mean your gut instinctsyou're lying to you. But I think
society tells us, yeah, youneed to put your skin in the game,
you need to graft, you needto build your reputation and there's obviously
value in all of that you doat the beginning, you have to huff
so you have to build a clientele, you have to build your process and
build your services. But I thinkalso just really knowing what you're looking for
(22:07):
and who you want to work with, who you're not willing to work with,
and knowing that you don't have towork with everyone. And I think
now where I'm at in the business, that's like our biggest saving grace is
like, I really know who wedon't want to work with. That's a
good one. Being clear about yourclientele and your audience and you kind of
about it, Yeah, and youkind of need to learn and buy working
with some people don't want to workwith. Yeah, But I think really
(22:27):
taking note of that, And sonow we're in a position where every time
I start to see these things inan interview with a client, I already
know like, Okay, this isn'treally going to work. And it doesn't
have to be a malicious thing.It doesn't have to be a slimy thing.
It can sometimes just be like Okay, where they're at, or how
they want the service, or whatthey're looking for. It just isn't what
we're doing, and it's just notgoing to be a good fit for that
reason, not for any like personalconflict or personality thing like. It can
(22:51):
just be simply things like that.And so I look back at all the
pickles I had, like in thebeginning, and like how stressful they were.
But I would and have learned hadI not gone through that, you
know, for sure. I mean, it sucks to feel like you're making
mistakes in your business or in yourlife in general, but if you just
take yourself out of it for asecond to be like, well, my
future self is going to be sograteful because now I know, yeah,
(23:14):
like I've learned. You, Like, I truly see every like failure as
a lesson, and I can't eventhink of a failure. I can look
back on times where I'm like,oh, definitely would have handled that differently
now. Yeah, But had Inot done that, then I'm like,
I wouldn't have learned how to dealwith that type of client or how to
say no, and yeah, andI think I would just tell myself to
the things that are hard in thebeginning, they do get so much easier.
But then there's new hearts. Thereisn't a new point in business where
(23:36):
like there's nothing hard happening. There'snot a point where there's no challenges.
They're just new. But like thestuff I was dealing with when I first
started my business that stressed me outand that was hard or uncomfortable or like
a day to day breeze. Nowbut then now I'm facing new challenges where
I'm like, oh, this ishard, and I know in five the
next level it all comes in.That's a good thing. Yeah, growth
(23:56):
is growth, Amn, girl.If you're going to write a book,
what would it be about? Wouldit be about business? Do you think?
I don't see business as business alone? It does come our marketing specific
or I don't know, because Ifeel like having the businesses has affected my
personal growth and my personal mentalth somuch and I feel like it all is
very intertwined. So I feel likeif I ever did a book would be
(24:18):
like lessons or tips, like somethingtakeaway like that because I love a personal
development book. Yeah me too.Yeah, I need to get back to
reading those, or like productivity orefficiency because I love some efficiency. You
are an efficient queen. I willtake the slow, long road. Yeah,
that is like Cavary amptimized with everything, like even the dog walks and
yeah, yeah, I feel likeit would be something along that those lines,
(24:41):
Like I don't think it would bebusiness specific, but I think because
I mean I was the same beforeI started businesses, like at my jobs
in college, in school, likeit was all about optimizing efficiency processes,
streamlining, getting the most out ofeverything. Yeah, happy birthday, Val,
I feel like every Vening Moore.I love you so much. I
love you, and we're going tomake twenty nine. We're know our bitch.
(25:04):
We're make your twenty nine, ourbitch. Yes, double team Curious.
Bye, Thanks girlie,
This week, a hot new bombshellenters the Villa. I'm Shania, I'm
a content creator and a manic moneyspender. I'm Valerie. I'm a serial
entrepreneur and recovering perfectionist. We're hereto bring you life in wellness tips,
tricks and hacks from experts and ourpersonal experiences. This is the Hawk Girls
(00:21):
Cry Podcast. Hi guys, welcomeback. This past week was VAL's birthday.
How did you celebrate Val? Idragged it out as much as I
(00:43):
could. My birthday was on aMonday, so I wanted a very chill
birthday this year. I'm very awareof what I like and what I don't
like, and what I don't likeis partying yes or getting hit, murder,
getting hungover. So I wanted avery chills and mature, sophisticated birthday.
That's what you got because she's atwenty nine year old, classy woman.
(01:04):
She's very classy. I don't knowhow my ratchet ass ke up with
a friend like this. We celebratein different ways. But on the Monday
m my husband took off work,which was nice, and we went for
a hike first thing in the morningbecause I wanted to get out in nature
(01:26):
and hang out with my puppies andmy husband. So we went on a
nice hike and then we picked upa coffee and then we went home and
he got me flowers and a giftand I know, um, and then
I hung out with you. That'sright because even though husband's off, we
gotta get our chenaia time here inAnd we went and got another coffee,
(01:47):
yause, what's Spell's birthday without multiplecoffee stops. And we went to Lala
Land and they gave me free cookieum, and we got it was very
special there was. It was cute. Um. And then we and you
went to Upkeep to see Izzy andwe got some botox, some filler twenty
nine. What did we get?Um? I got some bowtok. I
(02:13):
got a lip flip, yes,and I got some bowtalks in my master's
because I liked to clench these teethand get migraines. And then I got
some chin filler. Her first facefiller. She's had lip filler once once,
yeah, but this was her secondtime ever getting injected and it was
her first time not in her lips. Yeah. Like I got in botox
I handful of times, but I'venever gotten like filler filler, like to
(02:34):
change my face. I guess yeah, so yeah, and that was that
was a bruiser. Yeah, itwas bruised for like a weekend. She's
out cute. Yeah, what didyou get? I got my jaw.
I haven't even left chiseled my Instagram. I got my I got my jaw,
and I really like it. Ididn't think I was not even excited
about it. But now I'm like, who, why didn't even tell me?
(02:58):
Izzy knows all like offended? Nobodywas like, go get jawsillar the
hell? And then what did wedo? Um? What did we do?
M then you we chilled for therest of the week and then oh
and then for the weekend for thecelebrations, we U. I got an
Opoly dress, which it is veryexciting. I like mentally decided on this
(03:20):
dress like two months before my birthday. I got like one of those black
sparkly like you know, like theo G classic Opoly dresses, all black
of course, because we don't wearcolor. The instagram for details, yes,
reference Instagram at Valeri Rosio. Andthen we went to a really cute
Italian restaurant in Dallas butt them nevergo there ever. Yeah, we had
some rough service. They were reallynice and like the food was really good,
(03:44):
but the service was it was athey weren't having their best performance.
They took an hour to come outwith our food. Yeah, we think
that they just forgot our order.And we had tickets to go see the
Candle Light String Quartet in at theFrontier Flight Museum in Dallas, which was
like exactly what I wanted to forbirthday. It was like I wanted to
go to the show. They weredoing a Queen tribute. I love Queen,
(04:05):
and I was like, this ishow I want to spend my birthday.
It's doing an activity, it hasmusic, there's no like hardcore partying
involved. It's exactly what I want. And oh we forgot. We got
We got pedicaars and everything that morningtoo. Yeah, that morning before the
dinner and the string quartet, wewent to yoga. We went to yoga
and then we went and got pedicaresa bomb, and then and had coffee
(04:27):
and another one, and then wegot ready for dinner. Yes, then
we got ready for dinner. Yeah, So we did that dinner and then
we went to the Candle Lights StringQuartet, which was so cute, highly
recommend going if it's in your city. And then we went back to Shanaia's
and cut our cake and actually ateour dinner because we had to take it
to go because the restaurant was solate. Yeah, which was it was
very yummy, but like probably wouldhave been yummy or at a restaurant.
(04:49):
And that was it. Yeah,so fun, It was so fun.
Oh, the night before, wewent to dinner with my family and I
brought because she's part of the fam. Now, sure I am. I
felt very honor. Yeah, wewent to another Italian restaurant. Apparently I'm
loving Italian right now. Yeah.It was interesting because you told me you
picked all these restaurants, but likeI never usually choose Italian. No,
(05:09):
I like asked her a while backto go to like I picked on aesthetics.
Yeah, like it didn't look atthe menus, looked at the restaurant
pictures and picked them. I willsay the Italian place we went to was
very very beautiful, yes, andthe first one great service. Yeah,
great food. They were missing likehalf their menu though, so we're just
kind of having a rough time butall good still. But that was with
my family, which is really nicebecause now she and I is part of
(05:29):
the FAMI. Yeah, so ona perfect week, perfect perfect, perfect
perfect. Yeah, it was verysweet. I guess we should start with
what we're grateful for. What areyou grateful for? Yes, I'm grateful
to be going on vacation with younext week period, very much need one.
Yes, And I'm grateful to havetwo successful, thriving businesses that are
(05:56):
keeping me busy and bringing in themoney. The money as well. Yeah,
it comes hand in hand usually.Yeah, what about you? I
am that grateful that it is warmingup, the sun is out, and
I'm also grateful that my booty isabout to be in the sun and T
minus three four days now. Soyeah, so excited. Yes, today
(06:20):
we have a super fun episode becauseit was VAL's birthday this past week,
So this episode is going to beall about her reflection and just basically a
bunch of questions about her goals andall of that for last year and this
upcoming year and just life in general. So I'm so excited. Same birthday,
(06:44):
girl, aries, Baby aries,Babe aries are like my favorite.
So let's just jump right in.What is the biggest thing or things that
you learned last year? Just ingeneral? I found last year after a
lot of effort and therapy that themore I take care of myself the more
(07:05):
and like the more time and intentionI put into taking care of myself,
the better everything else just kind oflike falls together. So like I found
last year that when I was workingthe least and taking the most time for
myself to like not even do anythingspecific, but like just taking more time
for my morning routine and like makingsure I went to the gym and stuff
like that, that like the businessdid much better, and like we got
(07:27):
clients and I didn't have to likestress and hustle so hard around work.
Like it just kind of came together, which is validating because I feel like
that's a hard truth to swallow becauselike you think about it logically and you're
like, but I need to grindto grind, but it all just kind
of comes together. Yeah, youcan't do anything unless you are feeling good
(07:48):
yourself. Like nothing's ever going towork as well unless you feel like you've
spent the time and you're giving yourselfthat love and all that. And I
like to learn the hard way,so like I needed to experience that to
believe it. You really do,you really do, Like sign on my
way. What are your three mainfocuses going into this new year that you're
turning twenty nine, twenty nine,twenty nine. My goals for this year
(08:13):
is to work less and make moremoney. Rage more, No raging,
thank you though, rest, restmore. Yeah, I want to I
want to work a lot less,Like I really want to get into a
point of my businesses, and likeI did it last year, but it
just kind of things shifted, butlike I want to get to appoint my
(08:35):
businesses where it's a bit more streamline, so I can work a lot less
and be more of a CEO andless hands on. And then I'm obviously
with having a really structured team andlike our processes. I want to be
able to bring in more money doingthat. And I honestly justlike it sounds
so cheesy, but I really dojust want to have the confidence of a
mediocre white man because I just sooften I come across these dudes and I'm
(08:58):
like, to just be a manin this industry, in this world.
The audacity that they have, I'mlike, why do I Yeah? And
I'm like, why do I everdoubt myself? Like these men are just
walking up that are like and likenot to say that all men are shit,
but like I'll meet someone and I'mlike, I know I'm hustling harder,
I know I'm doing this or that, But then I'm over here nicol
(09:20):
and diming myself and like bringing myown value down because i want to make
sure they're getting every ounce of likewhat they're paying for and stuff like that.
And I'm just like, but thenthere's these men who come up and
are doing the same thing as me, and they're like charging, you know,
ten times as me, or justasking for what they want or just
having the nerve, and I'm like, why why can't I have that confidence?
And so that's the goal, isjust to come in and have more
(09:41):
audacity as you should a freaking patriarchyman. We're taught to, you know,
just as everyone else wants be smaller, don't make a fuss YadA YadA,
YadA, YadA YadA. But yeah, well, especially as like an
entrepreneur as well, like and beingyoung and small and like physically small.
Yeah, I do feel like Iget a lot of I'm approached with doubt
(10:05):
and it's like I have to provemyself before I'm given any respect. While
with most men, it's like assumedyes, and I'm just not here for
it because I've worked. I workharder than most people I know, men
or women, and say, youwork harder than everyone I know, and
like, I know that at mycore, and so why why am I
over here like doubting myself? So, like, whether it's clients or just
(10:28):
in life in general, I'm like, I'm just gonna have so much more
audacity because I deserve it. Ifeel like that's your theme for twenty nine
is having the confidence of a mediocrewhite man. Yes, and we absolutely
love to see it. I'm goingto be reminding you we'll get T shirts,
yes, But if you had tonarrow it down, what are your
(10:48):
three main focuses for this upcoming year? I know you said rest for one,
Yeah, rest for sure. Ijust want to not only make more
time for rest, also really figureout what allows me to rest, because
I think that's always been something wherelike when people are like, well,
what do you do for fun orlike what do you enjoy? And I'm
like, I don't know, yeah, And so I want to like really
(11:11):
embrace things that I do enjoy thatlike help me recharge. So not necessarily
like laying on the couch resting,but just like really being intentional about spending
time and making time for things.So I don't want to wait until I
have the time. I want tomake sure, Like when I look at
my schedule for the week, Iknow, like, Okay, I'm off
at five because I need to dothis in order to recharge. Yeah.
(11:31):
So yes, I don't want tobe running on empty and no man,
because we are doing that today.It's not fine. We're hanging by the
read So yeah, rest is oneof my three focuses. I also really
have been just so happy with whereI've gotten, like in my fitness and
like wellness journey. I feel likeit's been years to the works of just
trying to find structure and balance thatworks for me as an entrepreneur and where
(11:54):
I'm at in life, and Ifeel like I've really achieved that lately,
and so I just want to crankit up and like keep it up.
And I've been really loving it.I'm loving the results I'm seeing and loving
how I'm feeling, and I justwant to be able to maintain that continue
focusing putting the same amount of focusand attention on your fitness. Yeah,
and just reach bigger goals, youknow, yes, because do you feel
like I've made a lot of progress, And like, I think that's sometimes
(12:15):
where I get carried away too,where like I'll start to see progress and
then I go too hard and thenI fall off. And so I don't
want to do that either. Imean, I'll want to see some business
success, but like I said,I feel like the less I focus on
the business and the more I focuson me, like the business just kind
of does hit her own thing.I think you kind of already said one
too with the business, where likeyou want to have it running a little
bit more self sufficiently. Yeah,so you can kind of like just oversee
(12:37):
everything without having to do like alot of the manual labor. Yeah,
And like I know how to dothat, and like we got to that
place, but I just want todo that in scale, and so yeah,
I think just having the businesses bea bit more self sufficient. I
have some financial goals for them overthe next year. Of course, the
businesses, I very much see themas their own like beings and they're both
very much growing in their own way. But just letting them do their thing,
(13:00):
but also making sure that it worksfor me in my life, because
what's the point of having them ifthey don't benefit me. Getting closer to
your thirties and how day, Ohmy gosh, but it's a real thing.
See the fact that you're having thatreaction, you know, like it's
(13:26):
scary. The question was getting closecloser to your thirties, how do you
feel? But I guess that sumsit up. I hadn't thought about it.
Honestly, that was like an epiphanyright there. No, I feel
I feel good. I think theolder we get, the more we realize
that, like when we were younger, we had like a complete misconception of
(13:46):
what adulthood was. Yes, becauseI've always been a psycho about plans.
So I remember being in like middleschool in high school and being like,
I'm going to graduate college by twentyone and I'm going to have a career
by twenty two, a husband bytwenty three ford and like this and that
It's funny because like, as Iget closer to thirty and I still don't
have a lot of my life together, I'm like, wow, how did
(14:07):
our parents do this with children?I just want to build the life that
I want, and I think justbeing able to let go of that standard
of like, well, I'm supposedto have had done this, or I'm
supposed to have had done this orthat or achieved this by now has been
helping. But I think both meand my husband have non traditional jobs and
non traditional career paths, so itis taking us longer to get to certain
(14:28):
I guess standards that we would havemet if we had gotten married, about
a house, got a normal career, straight out of college, whatever,
Yeah, definitely. And so Ithink just like now, like we're really
getting to a place where, likewe have a very we're setting ourselves up
for that success and to achieve whatwe want to achieve in our thirties.
So it's exciting, but I thinkit's also like just giving yourself grace and
(14:48):
knowing that everyone at our age hasdebt, everyone in our age has loans,
nobody. I have friends who havehouses and kids, but they may
not be doing what they want todo in their career vice versa. And
so I think to figuring it out. Yeah, just figuring it out to
some degree if you're not you know, forty forty five, probably, I
mean even so then I'm sure there'sthings that you're working through and figuring out
(15:09):
stuff like that. But I thinkwe just don't see that because as kids,
when our parents are in their thirties, they're like our adults who know
everything. Yeah, but looking back, I'm like, how did they were
truly figuring it out with children?Yeah, but I'm excited to see the
life that were me and my husband. I mean, you mean you were
building together. We are truly settingmyself up for success to do that.
(15:31):
But then also I think just seeingour thirties is like a chance to achieve
the life that we want. I'mvery aware that I have like a non
traditional career path, but there's apurpose and reason for all of that and
just letting that be because I wantto have this in that in my thirties
or in my adulthood. Yeah,exactly, are you feeling more womanly?
Are you feeling more like a woman? No? No, I am a
(15:52):
kid, and I don't know.I'm a little girl. I am a
child and I still need my mummy. I just asked you because I feel
like I'm about to be twenty eighththis year, in like five months,
but I feel like I have likethis past year, I felt the most
womanly, like womanly, like I'ma woman now, you know? Yeah
I don't. Yeah yeah in myhead later it's the chubby cheeks. Yeah,
(16:17):
there's there's times, like there's instancesin the day where I'm like,
I am a woman, I'm anadult. Then I spend most of my
life being like what am I doing? How like I need to call out
to come out. If you hadten times the budget you have, now,
what would you spend it on inlife in general? Yeah, just
like give me like three things thatwould be like the first thing she would
(16:38):
go out and buy. Oh,it's a fun one. That's a hard
one. No, that's so easyfor me, Like this is I'm like
my first instinct is like practical,like okay, well Aiden's car he needs
to replace his car soon, likesnore. I really don't know. That's
(16:59):
so hard, which is kind ofnice because I'm like, oh, I
have everything I need. Yeah,that is nice. There's a lot to
be grateful for, Like in thismoment, you're not wanting for a bunch
of things. Yeah, what areyours? That'll help me? I don't
know what the word is, likeplot twist. I would get my button
plants out. I would get areally nice facial and I would probably just
(17:21):
plan like a really dope trip tolike the Mouth Dives or something. I
would definitely do a trip. Ithink a trip would be nice, I
guess because like we still make withinour own budget. I still do these
things. Yeah, we still doa trip. We still do the things.
But yeah, I wouldn't wouldn't mindsome cosmetic stuff, you know,
wouldn't mind a little bit of chinLiPo. You know, I'll take that,
(17:42):
you know, just a little stickhere, stick here, a little
maybe a new couch. Wouldn't minda new couch. Oh what's the bed,
the soft frame bed? Oh yeah, yeah, you do an apartment
makeover first? Yeah, I wouldget like my last couple piece of furniture
that I'm really wanting. Yeah,and then yeah, good trip. But
I'm like that is nice and validingbecause I'm like, I do get all
(18:02):
these things for myself in my owntime and my own pace, in my
own budget. Yet if I hadthe money to spend though the soft fame
mattress, but like a couple ofd or purses here and there, I
wouldn't mind, Like you know,now, you wouldn't mind. I wouldn't
mind a chanel or a praduc like, you know, just like a very
staple Percy purse. You know,Yes, yes, I do want to.
(18:25):
I do want to maybe. Imean it wouldn't be with my ten
thousand, but if my husband wantedto, you know, upgrade the wedding
ring, then I wouldn't mind thateither. Some tattoos, I would definitely
does some tatos, wouldn't I,yes, you would, you would for
sure. I'm due for two morepiercings and then let me be a couple
of tattoos. See so fun.That's my favorite question, favorite question.
Okay, what advice would you giveto your twenty one year old self with
(18:48):
the life experience you have now?I think about this all the time as
like part of like my gratitude practiceis what would I tell my younger self?
And oh, it's like so much, but I really just think I
would just want to thank her forlike working so hard, yeah, because
grind in yeah, and like shewas out there getting it. I'm still
grinding now, but I wouldn't haveeven gotten here had she not tried so
(19:11):
hard. And sometimes I look backand like even when I talk to people
about like my childhood. What wasin me that made me do, like
work that hard, and like,I'm glad I had it. When you
look at twenty one year olds,you're not sitting there thinking like, oh,
they're hustling, you know, you'reout there doing niche. Yeah,
And like I'm looking back and I'mlike, why was she what was she
doing? Yeah? I think likethe advice in general would be, don't
(19:32):
let it all be at the expenseof your health. Like, don't let
it be at the expense of yourmental health. It's hard, it's kind
of a it's kind of twofold nowlooking back because I'm like, I genuinely
don't think I would have gotten herehad I not worked that hard. Yeah,
if I had had more balance andmore self care and that a sacrifice.
Yeah, And I'm like, wouldI have made it this far had
I not gone to that extreme?I don't know. But it has also
(19:56):
taken a lot of undoing to recoverfrom, like some of the damage I've
done to my mental health to myphysical health, Yes, by taking that
extreme. So it's like, yeah, you're like you don't want to tell
your younger self like focus on this, but then you like jeopardize the businesses.
Yeah, when you're doing that.But you know, I know how
who who you are at your course, So I don't I feel like that
(20:18):
would have never happened, you know. Yeah, And like like I said,
like I like to learn the hardway, so like she wouldn't have
known. Yeah, Like there's noway. But if we if I could
even talk to my little bit youngerself, then it would have been dumped.
My ex changed my college plans alittle bit. Yeah, but if
I hadn't changed my college plans forhim, then I wouldn't have met my
husband. Yeah, it's like whatwould that have affected? Yeah, but
yeah, she should have dumped hima long time ago. I mean it
(20:41):
was a long time ago now,but like she'd never go with him.
Yeah, like you just erased thatchapter. Yeah, what business advice would
you give her? Oh so muchif you were talking to someone who's twenty
one right now and they were likethat, Like, if you could just
give me like the biggest piece ofbusiness advice, what would it be?
It's so hard because it's like againlike you kind of have to do it
(21:02):
and experience it to get it.Saying no in the beginning is so freaking
hard. But I think saying noto things that don't feel right, and
like having a really good like reallyreading the red flags and like letting the
red flags stop you. There weresomeoney has d be in a situation at
the beginning where I felt so unsureof myself because I was a new business
owner, yeah, that I wouldsee a red flag and I'd be like,
(21:22):
well, maybe, like they're older, they've been in business longer,
they must know. But then likeI realized now, like doesn't matter your
age or so many they're shitty businessowners. They're shitty people for sure.
And so looking back, I wouldalmost let myself get take an advantage of
because I would doubt my own instinctsand intuition, and then I would end
up in a pickle. And thenI'd be like, I knew yeah from
the get go. And so Ithink being able to say no and like
(21:44):
read a situation for what it is. Yeah, just because you're new in
the game doesn't mean your gut instinctsyou're lying to you. But I think
society tells us, yeah, youneed to put your skin in the game,
you need to graft, you needto build your reputation and there's obviously
value in all of that you doat the beginning, you have to huff
so you have to build a clientele, you have to build your process and
build your services. But I thinkalso just really knowing what you're looking for
(22:07):
and who you want to work with, who you're not willing to work with,
and knowing that you don't have towork with everyone. And I think
now where I'm at in the business, that's like our biggest saving grace is
like, I really know who wedon't want to work with. That's a
good one. Being clear about yourclientele and your audience and you kind of
about it, Yeah, and youkind of need to learn and buy working
with some people don't want to workwith. Yeah, But I think really
(22:27):
taking note of that, And sonow we're in a position where every time
I start to see these things inan interview with a client, I already
know like, Okay, this isn'treally going to work. And it doesn't
have to be a malicious thing.It doesn't have to be a slimy thing.
It can sometimes just be like Okay, where they're at, or how
they want the service, or whatthey're looking for. It just isn't what
we're doing, and it's just notgoing to be a good fit for that
reason, not for any like personalconflict or personality thing like. It can
(22:51):
just be simply things like that.And so I look back at all the
pickles I had, like in thebeginning, and like how stressful they were.
But I would and have learned hadI not gone through that, you
know, for sure. I mean, it sucks to feel like you're making
mistakes in your business or in yourlife in general, but if you just
take yourself out of it for asecond to be like, well, my
future self is going to be sograteful because now I know, yeah,
(23:14):
like I've learned. You, Like, I truly see every like failure as
a lesson, and I can't eventhink of a failure. I can look
back on times where I'm like,oh, definitely would have handled that differently
now. Yeah, But had Inot done that, then I'm like,
I wouldn't have learned how to dealwith that type of client or how to
say no, and yeah, andI think I would just tell myself to
the things that are hard in thebeginning, they do get so much easier.
But then there's new hearts. Thereisn't a new point in business where
(23:36):
like there's nothing hard happening. There'snot a point where there's no challenges.
They're just new. But like thestuff I was dealing with when I first
started my business that stressed me outand that was hard or uncomfortable or like
a day to day breeze. Nowbut then now I'm facing new challenges where
I'm like, oh, this ishard, and I know in five the
next level it all comes in.That's a good thing. Yeah, growth
(23:56):
is growth, Amn, girl.If you're going to write a book,
what would it be about? Wouldit be about business? Do you think?
I don't see business as business alone? It does come our marketing specific
or I don't know, because Ifeel like having the businesses has affected my
personal growth and my personal mentalth somuch and I feel like it all is
very intertwined. So I feel likeif I ever did a book would be
(24:18):
like lessons or tips, like somethingtakeaway like that because I love a personal
development book. Yeah me too.Yeah, I need to get back to
reading those, or like productivity orefficiency because I love some efficiency. You
are an efficient queen. I willtake the slow, long road. Yeah,
that is like Cavary amptimized with everything, like even the dog walks and
yeah, yeah, I feel likeit would be something along that those lines,
(24:41):
Like I don't think it would bebusiness specific, but I think because
I mean I was the same beforeI started businesses, like at my jobs
in college, in school, likeit was all about optimizing efficiency processes,
streamlining, getting the most out ofeverything. Yeah, happy birthday, Val,
I feel like every Vening Moore.I love you so much. I
love you, and we're going tomake twenty nine. We're know our bitch.
(25:04):
We're make your twenty nine, ourbitch. Yes, double team Curious.
Bye, Thanks girlie,
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For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
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