EP #5: Our Fitness Journeys - From Bodybuilding to Balance

In this episode, we share our fitness journeys from childhood sports to bodybuilding to powerlifting to present day where we're both trying to find balance.



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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This week, a hot new bombshellenters the villa. I'm Shanya. I'm
a content creator and a manic moneyspender. I'm Valerie. I'm a serial
entrepreneur and recovering perfectionists. We're hereto bring you life in wellness tips,
tricks and hacks from experts and ourpersonal experiences. This is the Hawk Girls

(00:21):
Cry Podcast. Hey everyone, we'reback with a new episode in our new

(00:42):
studio. Welcome back. We arein a new studio and the vibes are
immaculate. We're like sitting on couches, relaxed with plants around us. We
had our logo. It's a vibe, the lights, the efficiency, the
quality is very official. Look atus. Moving on up. So if

(01:03):
you're listening on Spotify or Apple,we are also on YouTube, So if
you want to watch this episode inall future episodes, it'll be on our
YouTube. Yes, definitely. I'mso excited and thank you guys so much
for the support we've had so far. Speaking of thank you, let's do
our gratitudes. So I'm grateful forthis new studio we have in the new

(01:26):
vibes and new beginnings. I amalso grateful for the studio, but mine
today was actually going to be forthe doctor that I went to because I
had a migraine kick it in todayand she gave me this new medicine to
stop the migraine in its tracks andit worked, so I am actually able
to function today. So very gratefulfor her and the new medicine. I

(01:49):
love that so much. Val hasalways struggled with migraines and I just remember
her telling me, like, Iwill do anything to know what it be.
So that is definitely something to begrateful for. Yeah, but let's
dive into today's topic. We've hada lot of requests from y'all on Instagram,
so I've you all been creeping onus, and we've had some requests
to talk about our fitness journeys.This is such a doozy because we've both

(02:14):
had such long, tumultuous and beautifuland all of the adjective fitness journey.
So I feel like it's going tobe She's gonna be a doozy. Yeah,
ours are kind of similar journeys aswell, and it's how we met
too. We talked about it inour trailer episode that we met because we
were both like in the bodybuilding worldand I followed you on Instagram and then

(02:36):
we started hanging out by going tothe gym together. But I think in
general both of us have been veryinto fitness our whole lives. Yeah yeah,
yeah, that's crazy because our firstlike the introduction into our friendship was
Jim dates for the longest time andwe still have them and we do our
yoga dates. Yes, the best, the absolute best every Wednesday, yes

(02:59):
man, true Fusion week come in, yes, ma'am. So, starting
from the beginning our childhood, howdid that kind of play out in terms
of fitness and sports and everything foryou? For me, I played soccer
growing up. I also did liketakewendo. I have my black belt.

(03:19):
Yeah, so I mainly played soccer, but I also did takewindo, and
I also did tumbling a little bitof cheer but mostly tumbling majority of my
childhood. So I tumbled up untilhigh school, played soccer even until now.
Takewendo was a very I mean Idid it. It wasn't a passion.
Okay, you slate though back blackbelt. You should have seen me

(03:40):
breaking those boards with my little uniformon, like, don't mess with me.
I can see it. I cansee it. Now. What about
you though, because you were anathlete growing up too. Yeah, So,
my my dad never really put mein sports. He kind of took
the approach of like, all,whatever you want to do, I'll do.
But I never had that parent thatwas like you're going to be in
the sport or we're just gonna getyou started. So I had kind of

(04:02):
a late start to everything. I'vedone a lot of things. I've done
track, softball, across the country, cheer never did soccer though, interestingly
enough, but I did a lotof things and was pretty good at all
of them, honestly, not totoo my natural born athlete, you know,

(04:23):
varsity and cross I was like athree freshman varsity player. Granted,
my my school was not the bestat any sports. Top of the bottom
literally literally, but cheerleading was definitelymy main love, my main bay,
Like that was the one consistent throughoutall of the years of sports that I

(04:44):
ever did. Cheerleading was always mymy love. And then I made the
cheer team in college, but Iquit after like two months or so,
because again I was like the topof the bottom. I always kind of
gotten things because I had heart,had a lot of heart some people,
you know, I mean in sports, that makes a big difference. No,
it does. That was a tryhard in sports for sure. But

(05:05):
yeah, cheerleading in college was shortlived. And when you stopped doing cheer,
like, what did you carry ondoing from then? So I actually
started bodybuilding or training to work outfor my body. In high school,
I would go to the gym everyday. My senior year, I was

(05:26):
living with my cheer coach at thetime, and I would go to our
apartment gym and run two miles andjust do the most random dumbbell exercises.
Just really it was more so therunning two miles. And then eventually my
senior year I got a plan infitness membership and started dabbling a little bit
more into ways, but would stillcontinue to run those two miles. But

(05:47):
what was your moment that you startedto actually go to the gym gym?
I didn't know you were such arunner when I very first started. My
cheer coach always told me you getabs by running. She always told me
that, and so trist told usthat too. Well, it's not they're
not wrong. I had acts,that's true, and I never did,
and I never ran. I justrecently tried to run two miles again and

(06:12):
that it's so hard. I don'tknow how I managed to do that every
day. I have no idea.It was so hard. Running is definitely
its own commitment. Yeah, Iplayed soccer, like I said, my
whole life. So I was alwayspretty. I had like soccer legs,
you know, like pretty strong,like you know how you can look at
a girl and you can see yourquas actually play soccer. Yeah, same
which here yeah yeah yeah and soand I tumbled as well. So I
was just kind of built like that. And so I would always say people

(06:33):
ask like you either do gymnastics orsoccer, and I'm like both, um,
But yeah, I did soccer throughhigh school. I honestly wasn't that
good because I started. I mean, I like to think I was pretty
good, but it's top of thebottom um because I started club really late.
And like club soccer in Texas isso competitive, like female soccer in
Texas in general is so so competitive, especially in North Texas. And so

(06:57):
I didn't I played like rex soccergrowing up because we just didn't have them.
I need to put me in club, And so I thought I was
like so great, but it's becauseI was so great at Wreck and then
I got to high school when Iwas very quickly humbled, Like these freshman
girls where over here like spinning circlesaround me. But I stopped playing soccer
or I played through college. Ijust recreationally for fun. And then when
I started dating my husband, hewould go to the gym and I was

(07:19):
like, I'm at Jim Gurley andI lifted in high school, like we
did a lot of weightlifting days inoffseason for soccer, but it was only
ever legs. And then I didlike in the summer, we had like
what was that training called where it'slike two weeks long. It's straight like
sprints and like weightlifting, and theylike let all the high school athletes come
for the two weeks. It wasintense. But I did that every summer,

(07:39):
so it's just a lot of lifting. Okay, So I did like
lifting in that way, but itwas almost all legs. And then when
I started dating my husband, Istarted going to the gym with him and
I was like, oh, yeah, I can totally lift, and he
would obviously do like a typical guy, almost no leg days off her body
days, and I'm like, well, I can't lift ever body, and
I remember like he was teaching mehow to do curls properly, like without

(08:00):
swinging, and I was like withthe eights, like like trying to get
it because I was just like wedidn't have every body string because why would
we like besides tumbling. Yeah,and so I wanted to like get better
at the gym because when I getinto something, I get into it two
thousand percent. So then that's whenI started to like really look into like
YouTubers. And this was like twentyfourteen, and so that was when like

(08:22):
girls and fitness YouTube was at itsprime, like it was to Take It
Away era. Hage Hathaway Nicky Blackat her she was the one I found
on YouTube where I was like,I'm this girl's size, like I can
lift. So then I started toget into like actually lifting in the gym.
Yeah, that was such an iconicera. It really was because we
were just so excited. We reallywere, and it was I don't know,

(08:43):
there was something about it. Itwas onset of social media in general,
and it felt like to me,I'm sure there was so many different
niches that people felt that. Itfelt like to me, if you were
like Instagram famous at all, youwere it was fitness related, which is
it's probably not true. It wasprobably my Well, it was definitely like
the takeoff of the fitness influencer community, because you even took off at that

(09:09):
time too, like as a fitnessinfluencer. Definitely not Page Hathway or Nick.
But that is how you found me, This is true. Oh and
what more could you ask for?Nothing? I got what I needed from
that. So when did you startbodybuilding? So? I went to college,
was just super in the gym daily, just for aesthetic reasons, so

(09:31):
it was bodybuilding. Then. Iwas still running my two miles, but
I started to get a lot moreinto heavy weightlifting. I met a bunch
of people who were into the samething and really started to see changes in
my body. Around that time,I spent a year in college, came
home, continued that, and wheneverI came home from college after that year,

(09:52):
that's when I really started to getinto Instagram and posting my outfit or
my outfits and posting my workouts andall of that. So I just really
started lifting heavy and was just spendingan hour or two in the gym every
day just focusing on my lifting.And I was super into nutrition at that

(10:13):
time too. So I had justhired a coach and he put me on
like a twelve thousand calorie meal plan. Yeah, I was really low.
Oh bulking. She was good.She was eating good at twelve hundred calorie
meal plan. I remember, Iwas so hungry. It was like every
meal I ate was I was savoringevery last bite. And it was also

(10:35):
that era of like the halo icecream and all of that kind of stuff,
you know, and the if it'syour macros, I wasn't. He
gave me like a meal plan likeand I would sneak like some halo on
the side. But I was eatingvery clean and just I was just obsessed
with the gym, sometimes doing twodays every day doing cardio. It was

(10:56):
very exciting and new, and Iwas seeing like those beginner changes in my
body and it was so fun.That's what I was gonna say, is
like in the beginning, it wasso transformational for us. It was so
fun and exciting because you're getting thesemuscles that you've never seen before in your
life, like you are able toget abs and all that, and so
it was just like a time tobe alive. Man, No, it

(11:18):
really really was. That's what Ialways think about people who've never lifted before.
I'm like, you don't even knowhow good you're going to feel.
And when you start and you getto see the just like little curves in
your body that you haven't seen before, and after you've been lifting for so
long, to see any little differenceis so hard. So that beginner time
is just so well, it's krimdella krem. So at what point,

(11:39):
like with all the lifting and thenyou got the trainer, at what point
did you decide like, Okay,I'm going to do a show. That
was I would say two years afterI got that trainer, and then I
stopped using him and just kind ofdid it on my own. And then
I got a coach for my firstshow a couple years later. Because I

(12:00):
think we competed in the same year, almost did we, I don't even
release a year apart. Yeah,I feel like it wasn't too far apart
at all. I felt like thewhole world we kind of just went in
line with whatever, like the wholefitness industry. It was like what society
was doing at the time. Likeif you were in the bubble, you
were competing. Yeah, you weregetting a boob job and competing. I

(12:24):
missed. We missed the boob jobunfortunately. So after you got into the
gym with your husband, Aidan,when did you start taking it super seriously
and your diet in mindset kind ofbecame this is what I do now in
typical val fashion immediately immediately, SoI found Nicki Blackadder. I started watching
all these girls on YouTube, likethe Ogs, and I just remember watching

(12:46):
them on YouTube, and then theywere all competing and they were all training
for shows, and I was like, well, I've got to do that.
And at the time, I workedat Twin Peaks and so it kind
of went hand in hand with workbecause we had bikini contests at Twin Peaks.
And I was like, well,I'll I'll treat the Twin Peaks show
like a show. And so Ihired a trainer and basically prepped for the
Twin Peaks show, which was superexciting, and it wasn't as intense because

(13:09):
like, you don't have to meetthat same level of like leanness, dryness
or anything like that. So thatkind of gave me, like it dip
my toes in and I honestly didn'tdo that great for the show, but
I mean it gave me like thepractice of like getting into prep and all
that. And then after that,I was like, Okay, we're going
to do the real deal, likewe're doing bodybuilding. And so that's when
I signed up for an actual NPCcompetition and I hired an NPC coach and

(13:33):
she was quite big on Instagram aswell, and she was like an IPB
pro. So I hired her andstarted doing training with her. And I
definitely want you to tell them aboutlike your meal plans and why you ate
the sweep potato crisis, Yes,because I had a much different experience in
my actual bodybuilding step on stage NPCera where my coach was giving me if

(13:58):
it fits your macros, years waslike you can only eat fish, yeah,
pootatoes and egg whites basically. Yeah. My very first coach when I
first started prepping was like she wasan IPB pro. She was super intense,
and she was very much of likeclean eating bland dry, suck it
up, this is all you get, you know, intense cardio lo calorie.
So my meal plan was essentially likeegg whites and oatmeal, and then

(14:22):
it would be like sweet potatoes andchicken and then be like fish and broccoli
every day, and I got tothe point where I was like, dude,
can we switch it up? LikeI really don't like sweet potatoes anymore,
Like I'm so over it. Yeah, And she was like, if
you want to be in this sport, then you just need to eat it.
And I was like okay, Andthen I got sick at one point
and I was like I'm sick thisweek, Like can I like veer from

(14:43):
my macros and everything? And shewas like no, like you need to
eat and so that was really hardand I ended up just not listening and
just binging when I could on theweekends because I would like end up getting
so desperate and then I would eatsomething bad. Then I'd be like,
well today's written off, So thenI would just binge the whole day.
Yeah. So I actually never endedup competing while she was coaching me,
so I ended up like not workingwith her anymore, took a break,

(15:05):
and then I hired another coach,planned to do another show. She put
me on like flexible dieting or ifit fits your macros, and I actually
ended up going through a hole Ithink sixteen or twelve week prep with her
and actually competed then for like yourbody building experience. Did you like the
experience in the gym? How Ifelt mentally and how I felt diet wise?

(15:30):
Yeah, I mean I think there'sall I'm an obviously pros and cons
to everything. I think for me, it really mentally teaches you how disciplines
you can be and how like whatyou're capable, like I guess if you're
determined. Yeah, I think itjust really taught me, like I can
choose today, like Okay, we'regonna stick to this because we have an
end goal that we're working towards.Yeah, which I think, you know,
can play into every aspect of yourlife. So just having like that

(15:54):
discipline I think physically and like itjust kind of came with the culture.
I think I got to a pointwhere I was like maintaining unhealthy standards for
the sake of a one day competition. I still didn't even get to the
body that I wanted to, andI was on such low calories, and
like we couldn't really do anything aboutit at that point because realistically I should
have, you know, spent moretime increasing calories, and like obviously I

(16:15):
can. It's easy to say nowI think like I loved building muscle,
I loved feeling like I looked good, Like I loved feeling good in my
body. I loved seeing progress.And that has like in itself its own
mental struggle, because I think whenyou see how good your body looks and
see it looking better and better andbetter every day, the flip side of
that is after the competition, it'slike, Okay, now I'm you're not

(16:38):
looking worse, but you're essentially lookingworse and less out of shape every single
day because you're going back to amore maintainable body versus your one day pinnacle.
And I think that's where it cankind of be like much more toxic
than the actual prep itself. Itcan be kind of an addiction for some
people because they see themselves looking theirquote unquote best Yeah, at such an

(17:00):
unrealistic body to maintain. Yeah,so it can be harmful. Actually,
how was it for you though?Because you trained for your show and then
you obviously had a better experience withyour coach and the dieting, So how
did that pan out for you?I honestly don't really remember much about the
training portion. I remember I wasjust in the gym every day. We

(17:23):
increased my cardio slowly, and thedieting wasn't really that bad. The main
thing for me was I didn't evenreally enjoy my body when it got to
the stage level. When it gotto four or three weeks out, I

(17:44):
felt like it was cutting down mymuscle so much. I was just getting
so incredibly skinny, and I wasusing all of my butt because I'm already
naturally super quad dominant, so thebutt that I the little but I had
built was just the immediate first thingto go. So for me, it
just felt like it wasn't worth it, And that was why I never really
wanted to do it again, becauseI didn't even look in the mirror and

(18:07):
like what I was seeing around.Like the actual stage time, I was
kind of just like, ma,you know this is too skinny for me.
So and you won, right.I got first in one class and
then second in the other. Iforget which classes they were. So I
did really good for my first time, and he wanted me to keep going,

(18:27):
but I was just like, Mno, Like I miss food,
I don't even like my body,Like what's the point of this? What
am I gaining from doing this?Like I don't want to stand on stage
and have a bunch of people tellyou, tell me if my body is
good enough? One, I don'teven like my body right now. You
gotta quit wa your head down here. Like first place, I'm retiring.
No, I could have gone onand been like an NPC pro and gotten

(18:51):
like all of that. What Ireally do like IF is the if BB
Is that what it is? Theone in Australia and I think is WBF
WBFF. I love that it's morefocused on fashion and they have a higher
body fat percentage so it's not asjust like skin and bones and that's honestly
really unhealthy for women. Yeah,to do in the first place is get

(19:15):
that light that lead and that cameout of it. I mean, I
think as a society at the time, like a lot of women our age
that got into fitness, got intocompeting, and then we all kind of
went to that same wave together oflike, Okay, now are all of
our hormones are totally messed up andnow we're all trying to recover at the
same time, and we're all reboundingand gaining weight and emotions and all that,
and like we kind of did itall together. Yeah, the camaraderie.

(19:38):
Yeah. Yeah, I remember seeingall of these YouTube videos at the
time about how I lost my perioddoing shows and all of that stuff.
So what is time to be alive? So how after the show, like
did you just carry on lifting orlike how did you like transition into like
everyday life again. Yeah, Iremember going to the gym and just my

(20:00):
butt kind of come back a littlebit, and I was so excited,
and I kind of I didn't reversediet at all, which I should have,
so I feel like it kind ofcame on all at once to a
point that I didn't like, butthen I felt like I got it back
to a place that I was okaywith as far as my body. And
yeah, I was pretty consistent forthe next four to five years, obviously

(20:23):
having seasons and weeks and all thatwhere I was more consistent than others,
But for the most part, Iknew that I wanted to make a job
out of it, and so Iknew that it was kind of a major
priority in my life. And youdid, I mean, you became like
a full time fitness influencer. Yeah. Well, yeah, I feel like

(20:45):
whenever I whenever I became full timeon social media, it was when I
started only fans, but I didgrow a massive audience from my fitness,
and I could have capitalized on itwith a book or meal. But you
were definitely known for your fitness.Yeah. I wish Anaia fit for a
long time. Yeah, what wasyour slogan life short posts? The booty

(21:06):
Pig. Yeah. So when peoplestill tag you in that, I'm like,
we were here, oil and eraand era. If you guys were
there for that area, I loveyou, love you so much. But
yeah, I was just really consistentfor a long time. I didn't track
macros consistently until up until honestly likeright now, which we'll get there.

(21:27):
But yeah, I feel like itwas kind of happy days for a while
for my finish journey. It wasjust kind of me loving the gym,
me loving working out, flexible dieting, eating intuitively, feeling really good.
Really motivated all that stuff for thetime that I was out of my bodybuilding

(21:49):
era. But what happened for youwhen you got out of your bodybuilding era?
I only competed in one show,and even for that show, I
just could it and like get downto as lean as I needed to be,
just a weird already, like Isaid, like for the first show,
even like just so low on calories, and I think realistically I just
needed a lot more like pre prepbefore prepping, because if you start too

(22:12):
low on calories for your prep,then you just get too low and you
can't really lose any more weight oranything. Yeah, so that kind of
happened for me. And so Igot sixth place, which I mean,
I will take it. I steppedon that stage, I did the thing
like absolutely, what does that evenmean? You know? Yeah, Like
I did it and that's great,you know. Yeah. And so after

(22:36):
the show, I also did notreverse diet. I was so I felt
so deprived. So I ended upjust binging for like weeks. And it's
so funny because I thought that Ihad like fully rebounded, and then I
was like all of a sudden fatand gorge and gained all this weight.
But then now objectively, like lookingback, I'm like, what am I
even thinking? Like how do Ithink that I even gained weight? Like
I looked so normal. Yeah,but after evening for so long and seeing

(23:00):
yourself in the mirror every day gettingleaner and leaner and leaner, when you're
all of a sudden going the otherdirection, you completely lose perspective of what
your body needs to look like.Yeah, And I feel like that really
affected me because I think even todayI have a very skewed perspective and like
a very skewed body image because I'mlike comparing it to like those unrealistic,

(23:21):
unmaintainable days, you know, bodyjust morphia. Yes, But after I
competed, and then after I reversedid it and rebounded, I started to
get back in the gym and Ikept lifting, like and I felt stronger
because I was eating more after gettingout of body building, and because I
started to get stronger, I startedto like want to lift really heavy,

(23:41):
and I'm like, I love thisso much more than doing like high volume
workouts and getting leaner. Like Iloved feeling strong, and I had already
been like slightly above average strong atleast my lower body from soccer and tumbling.
So when I put my mind toit and actually set a routine to
getting stronger, I got real strong. And that's when it basically started getting

(24:04):
into powerlifting. And I feel likeit's a different kind of your focus is
on a different kind of progress.You take it off of your body and
put it on these tangible numbers thatinadvertently obviously help your body. But it's
that's not your focus. Your focusis on something totally different. Yeah,
it's like not on appearance, Like, yeah, I felt better being a

(24:26):
little bit what I thought was likemore cushioning what I thought was like thicker.
Like I looked back and I wasn'teven close to thick, but like
I felt thicker in comparison. Yeah, and but I felt better being what
I thought was thicker because I feltstronger. Yeah, I love that I
did some healing for me so good. And you did, you do really

(24:47):
good at your powerlifting meat. Icompeted in two different meats, and I
got first in the first one andsecond in the second one, or maybe
opposite. I got first in onesecond and the other, and I loved
it. Like that's something I dowish that at some point in my life
go back to. Yeah, Ialways hear you're just talking about your powerlifting

(25:07):
day is so fondly I do loveit. Yeah, just all around,
it was like a really good timefor you. Yeah, and like I
was doing it with a friend,which would made it like a really nice
experience, but I think, likeit's just such a different challenge to put
on your body, and like I'mthe kind of person that, like,
I like having a goal in mind, I like having a competition in it,
and like you really are competing withyourself because you're hitting prs and and
you're training for that reason. ButI think after coming out of bodybuilding,

(25:30):
it really changed the perspective because Ithink in bodybuilding you see the discipline that
your mind can achieve, but inpowerlifting it was much more so, like
if we talk about it all thetime, like how much our mind and
body are connected. And the onething I think with powers thing that I
learned is like our minds sometimes liketrick us into doing less than what we're

(25:51):
capable of. Yeah, And soit was really nice in powerlifting because like
I would we would record ourselves tosee our progress, our form things like
that. So I would record myselfdoing like a PR and a deadlift,
and mentally I'd be like, ohmy god, this is so heavy.
I don't think I can lift it, like this was the hardest pull I've
ever done. But then I wouldsee it on video and I could see
that my body did it easily.So then I'm like, oh, obviously,

(26:14):
my mind just think it's hard,but like my body can handle it,
and then I can go and hitand even higher pr because once you
can get over the concept of likeyou're just telling yourself it's hard. So
I think that really helped me learndifferent ways to kind of negotiate with myself
and like talk myself out of likehard times. Yeah, you can definitely
always do a little bit more thanyou think you can. Yeah. And

(26:34):
I've never even done powerlifting, butI know that even just working out in
the gym, I'll pick up somethingand be like, oh, that's definitely
heavy, but I can do it, and then you go up a little
bit more and then a little bitmore and you're like oh okay, yeah,
and that was really fun like that, And I think the competition side
isn't reliant on your looks or appearance. It's strictly reliant on your strength that

(26:56):
day. Yeah, And so Ithink that's a really nice goal to meet.
Yeah. So I think that wasjust much better for my mental health.
And the only reason I really stoppeddoing it was because I got a
new job and then I started mybusinesses, and then I couldn't really I
mean I could have, but Ijust didn't stay in the gym that way.
Didn't you have to work out fortwo hours or so at a time

(27:17):
whenever you were powerlifting, Yeah,a lot of the workout was just took
a long time, not because theywere like set to be two hours,
but like if you were working towardsa pr the warm up would take so
long because you're you obviously need tostart with a lower weight build up to
it, so that could take along time, whether it's because you're in
a busy gym or because you're rackingthe weights. And then if I was
working out with my competition partner andso when we're both taking turns, so

(27:41):
like it just took a long timebecause you can't really do heavy weights like
that like quickly. So yeah,we spent about two hours in the gym,
but it was nice because it completelytook my mind away from the food
concept because I didn't need a trackbecause they do put you in weight classes
for the meats, but it waslike it's one of those where like you
want to be in the lowest weightclass, but at the top of that
weight class like wrestling, so Iwasn't having to be strict on myself.

(28:03):
But because I was lifting so muchso frequently, I was able to eat
pretty comfortably and like didn't have tostress so much about calories or eating anything
like specific. And so it wasnice that like I could just eat and
enjoy what I was eating, knowingit was going to fuel my next workout.
Yeah, you were working your muscleso much and for so long,
and you were building so much musclethat at all kind of just balances out

(28:26):
at that point. Yeah. Yeah, which was great while I was doing
it. But then I think thatreally affected me when I stopped competing in
powerlifting, because I think I continuedto eat like I was powerlifting and kept
telling myself, like, we're anathlete, you need this, and then
but I wasn't lifting like a powerlifteror at all. And that's when I
started to gain weight and really hadlike a crisis whenever I was bodybuilding.

(28:49):
That was the first time that Iever like threw up because of food,
because I like, you know whatI mean, bliemic. I had a
baliemic moment. I remember I benchand then I was just like it's fine,
I'll just throw it up. Andthen you just kind of like write
it off because you're like whatever,I'm just gonna eat as much as I

(29:10):
can and then you know, andthen I remember I was on vacation and
I got food poisoning, and Iwas so excited kind of that I got
food poisoning because everything I would eatwould just come right back up. So
yeah, I don't want to makeit seem like bodybuilding was all sunshine and
rainbows. For me. It wasvery hard, but definitely I didn't really

(29:32):
see it as like a big thingat the time. I was just like,
oh, I'm just eat all thisand you know, to come right
back up, It's fine. Yeah. I think in general, sports like
that do change your perspective of foodand they just change the way that you
look at it, because I thinkwith bodybuilding you see food as a metric
and you also lose touch of likebecause especially if you're on a macro based

(29:53):
diet, you need to finish yourmacros, and so I think you kind
of lose touch with like your ownbody, like what do you call it,
like your censors of like when you'refull, because in bodybuilding, if
you're having to hit macros, youkind of have to get that food in,
so even if you're not hungry,sometimes you're forcing yourself to eat.
And that's where I think, likeI really struggled as I lost like any

(30:14):
intuitive eating skills because my body justlike had been like declined to them for
so long. And so I thinkeven now, I'm just now at a
point where I'm like, okay,like I am feeling hunger, I can
eat, Yeah, exactly. WheneverI first started calorie restricting, it was
insane to me the amount of hungerthat I was feeling at that time.

(30:36):
I was like, wow, seriously, every bite was just like heaven to
me, no matter what it was. But it was almost exciting. Like
I remember going to bed hungry andbeing like I'm going to wake up so
freaking lean because I'm so hungry rightnow, and I'm like that's so bad.
Yeah, No, we don't wantto be there. It's too far.
Okay, So after powerlifting, whatwas kind of your next era in
fitness? But I'm the lowest pointin fitness because after powerlifting, I left

(31:00):
my corporate JOm and started my businessesor my first business, and that was
like immediately like all health, wellness, fitness, mental health, everything out
the window for about two three years, and I think I really struggled because
I had it in my head like, oh, you're still an athlete,
like because I played soccer here andthere, but like I was in no

(31:21):
way like consistently in the gym,consistently active. And I had also just
switched to being vegan, and Iwas running my businesses and I was on
the go all the time, workinglike seven to seven, and so I
think I really struggled to have likea healthy balance in my diet because since
I was out of the house allthe time and working like crazy and that
was my tip top priority, Inever prepped food and so I was always

(31:42):
eating on the go. But becauseI was vegan, there weren't like a
lot of on the go options.So I would like go all day just
like running on energy drinks and coffee, and then at home I would like
pick up taco bells and have likea bean burrito or like three burritos at
night just to like catch up onlike eating. And that was like a
repeated cycle for a really long time. So I think I like really like

(32:04):
really fudged up my cortisol levels.I gained weight like all that stuff,
and right about around my wedding iswhen I started to get back into the
gym and feel better and get someconsistency. But then it was the same
thing, Like after our wedding,I just kind of fell back into the
routine of like not taking care ofmyself at all and just focusing on the
businesses. How often would you saywhen you were at your lowest point in

(32:28):
your fitness did you work out notat all? Or was it just very
sporadic? Would you like get onthe horse and then fall off every week
it would be like this week,I'm going to really get back to it,
and then I'd go to the gymtwo or three times, and then
I would be off again for likea month. And it was really it
took a major toll on my mentalhealth because I remember even visiting you in
LA and like I'm a short person, Like I'm four to eleven, and

(32:51):
I had put on over the threeyears that I started a business from powerlifting
to like present day, I puton twenty pounds and like that quite a
lot on someone who's four to eleven. Yeah, And I just remember being
so uncomfortable in my body, andlike I just felt uncomfortable. I knew
I wasn't making it a priority,So then I would have like the cycle
of like guilt of like, well, you know better, like you know

(33:14):
how to be in the gym,you know how to eat healthy, but
you're just not doing it, Andthen I would just get so worked up
over it. I remember just likecrying at your place in La being like,
yeah, this just sucks, andlike it's hard because like you have
total control, but then when youknow you're not doing it, you're like,
well, what the hell. Yeah. I think though, for anyone
who is invested in their fitness longterm, to expect yourself to be at

(33:38):
your fittest self at all times isso hard, but we do it anyways.
We don't allow ourselves grace whenever that'slike a priority for us to feel
good and feel good in our body. We just don't ever allow ourselves like
a period of Okay, I'm justgonna give myself a break for a little

(34:00):
bit. It's always I'm going toget back on it Monday. I'm going
to get back on it tomorrow.I'm gonna eat healthy tomorrow. And then
it's an endless cycle and then youjust feel guilty. And I think I
had no concept because we had neverhad to have a concept of a casual,
comfortable, maintainable fitness life. Becausegrowing up, I played three or
four sports my whole life. Igraduated high school, I played sports in

(34:22):
college, I started bodybuilding, Istarted powerlifting. So there was no time
in my life where I was justbeing fit for the sake of being healthy.
Yeah, it was always for asport or a competition, or for
my appearance when I was working atTwin Peaks, Hooters bikini competitions. So
I had no concept of just takingcare of myself for the sake of being
healthy. And so I just didn'teven know what that looked like. And

(34:44):
so I had to really go throughlike a lot of like mental like reprogramming
to recognize you are no longer anathlete. You don't need to look like
an athlete, but you do needto take care of yourself, and like
what is that What does that looklike while you're running businesses? Is what
does that look like while you're nothaving to compete, Like it doesn't have
to be five days a week asmany calories, like it can be two

(35:07):
or three days a week consistently withsome walking here and there. So I
had to like really like freaking getthat through my thick head. Well,
for you, I can see thatbecause you're such an all or nothing type
of person. So if you're goingto do anything in your life, you
want to be the best. Yeah, And for you, I'm sure the
most balanced, Yes, the mosthealthy, the most feeling good. Yeah.

(35:30):
So I'm sure it was really hardfor you, especially because you had
that was your only idea of whatfitness looked like was yeah, well you
previously experienced, so it took youjust about as long to figure out it
didn't have to be like that.Yeah, not to mention like the identity
crisis, because when I was incollege, like fitness was my identity,
Like looking good and working at thebar was my identity. And then I
was powerlifting and that was my thing. But then when I started my businesses,

(35:52):
like being an entrepreneur was my identity. And so I think like I
had to even work around not justbeing healthy, but also like finding interests
me like how do I like tofeel, how do I want to take
care of myself? Like all thesethings outside of like my one big goal,
you know, Yeah exactly. Ithink that's such a good point that
you have to figure out what typeof working out looks best for or works

(36:16):
best for you. It doesn't haveto be bodybuilding. It can be spin
classes or bloodies or running or swimming. There's so many different types of workouts
and you can switch in between andyou know, just go with however you're
feeling. I feel like we getso caught up in how is this going
to make my body look? Insteadof how do I have fun when I'm

(36:37):
doing it? Yeah? Does itfeel good? And stuff like that.
I think the same thing applies tofood too, Like I think we just
get caught up in like labels oflike I lift weights, so I can
only lift weights. I eat vegan, so I can only be vegan forever.
I think we just get caught upin like having to have some sort
of like restriction a box. Yeah, when it's like why, like what
for? Yeah exactly, let yourselfhave fun with fitness and experience it and

(37:01):
step out of the box. AndI always feel like I get a little
bit more motivation whenever I do somethingthat's, you know, different than what
I'm typically what I typically do,I'm like, okay, this is fun.
Yeah for me. After the wholeI was very consistent and motivated and

(37:22):
on my ship for the most partfor a while. In that period is
when I went plant based vegan andI was intuitively eating and I was feeling
really good. I've always had onand off like IBS symptoms, but aside
from that, like my food wasfeeling really good for me. Whenever I

(37:42):
hit my downfall was around the pandemicin LA. I tried to start off
strong. I was sprinting every dayand going on runs and doing at home
workouts. But in La, especiallyfor a year or more, everything was
shut down, even my apartment,Jim, like everything I was trying to

(38:05):
run up and downstairs that I wouldfind. I remember running with you.
Yeah, yeah, lots and lotsof outdoor workouts, which was fun.
But I think just the combination ofliving on my own, working out on
my own, trying to just selfstart in every aspect of my life,
it's hard. It's really hard.It's really really hard. I think loneliness

(38:30):
is one of the most unhealthy thingsthat you can ever experience, Like,
I think it's so detrimental, likeknowing firsthand how it felt. I think
after a while of doing all that, I just kind of stopped caring,
and I just got to a badplace mentally, and I think that just
like reflected on my workouts and stufflike that. So I was kind of

(38:53):
how you were. I would justgo for a little bit and then I
would fall off, and then andit was more so like three or four
days a week or two days aweek, and then it was just really
all over the place with fitness forhonestly the entire time. Up until now,
I feel like I've gotten a lotmore consistent, a lot more like

(39:14):
motivated, and to a place whereI feel better about it. But the
pandemic and a and after my buttonplants and all of that in the recovery,
I feel like I was just sosporadic with my fitness. Yeah,
And I was gonna say, Ifeel like you went through a lot of
different changes because the pandemic hit.You were living in your roommate situation,

(39:36):
and that was hard enough as itis, but I remember you saying,
like, it's really hard when likeyour bedroom and living room are like your
office, your gym, your lounge, like your community area. So it's
like it's really hard. But likeeven having the discipline to work out at
home in itself is really hard whenyou could easily just like lay on the
couch. Yeah, and that's notmy vibe but at all either. I

(39:59):
know my be some people's. Somepeople love it at home workout and that's
amazing, but for me, Ido not like it. I feed off
people's energy, even if that's meworking out on my own, but I'm
at a gym and there's other energiesaround me. I definitely like to get
out of my home when I workout. So that was it just made

(40:19):
me kind of like lose interest init a bit because that's kind of what
I was forced into and I feellike I wasn't seeing like the changes or
anything that I wanted to see.So it was kind of just like me
all the way around. Yeah,no, I can imagine. I don't
think I'd have the discipline to workout from home whatsoever. No, it
was not It was not vibe atall. But yeah, I learned a

(40:43):
lot from it, and I learnedthat like what I need to function at
a certain level is not to putmyself just all alone. I definitely need
to feed off of people's energy,like going classes and stuff like that.
So yeah, after your downfall foryou though, was what was kind of
the turning point of when you startedto get back to a healthier place with

(41:06):
fitness. I think we just gothere. Yeah, same just arrived.
I think during the pandemic it didgive me like a reality check though,
because it forced with lockdown, itforced me to work less, and I
think with being able to work lessbut guilt free, because there was like
an outside cause of that, Iwas able to really reel things back and

(41:28):
be like, okay, like Ihave the time on my hands now,
and so that's when I picked up, like I picked up walking and so
I just like walked like five tenmiles a day, worked out. It
was so nice though, because itwas like spring in Texas, and I
remember telling my husband, I waslike I am thriving like I and like,
obviously that's you know, comes witha lot of privilege because the pandemic

(41:49):
was really hard for so many people, but for me, it was like
really great circumstances to give me abreather. And because I was still working,
my company was still functioning. Wewere just doing everything remotely. My
husband was home all the time becausehe was living remotely, and the weather
was nice because it was March inTexas, and so I was just able
to like walk every day, comehome and do my handstands in my stretches,
like cooking from home every day,like fresh meals because we fast food

(42:12):
was kind of shut down. Soit was it was really nice. And
then I told my husband, Iwas like, don't ever let me go
back to my old habits, Likedon't do it. And then I feel
like for a minute, I wasgood. But then as obviously Texas opened
up and like went back to normalquite quickly. So as things started to
reopen, we started to get alot busier because people saw how prevalent,

(42:32):
like their online presence was, whichis what we do for business. So
like we got really busy with work, and like I just didn't pace myself,
like I just let myself go straightback into old habits. And I
think I did that probably a yearor two, and then I had a
major burnout experience last year then hadlike a whole come to Jesus of like,

(42:52):
okay, twenty twenty three, wegotta we gotta fix this because I
won't like I cannot maintain these badhabits because I'm not going to be able
to build my businesses be a goodwife, be a good friend, Like
I won't be able to do anythingthat I want to do if I don't
like fix shit. Yeah, forme just being an outsider looking. And
I feel like whenever you really gotcomfortable with fitness again or just back into

(43:15):
a good routine that you were happywith, it was kind of around when
you started f forty five, Yeah, which I got really into it.
Probably this year. I think Ijust had to have like and like with
therapy and my therapist, like wehad a real like reality check of like
what do we What do I wantmy life and my habits and my lifestyle

(43:37):
to look, Like how do weget there? And I think at the
beginning of the year, being anall or nothing person, I just had
to really change my expectations of myself. And I told myself at the beginning
of the year, like, Idon't want to get to summer and hate
how I feel in my body.I don't want to get to summer and
be so uncomfortable in a bikini thatI'm missing out on social events. Like

(43:57):
I just wanted to change my relationshipwith my body, with food, with
the gym. So at the beginningof the year, I was like Okay,
we're building what our new lifestyle canlook like as a business owner who
stays healthy, like this is notme as an athlete, this is not
me as a competitor that this isme just being a normal freaking person that
goes to the gym. And Ithink like that helped me create more realistic
goals that I could actually achieve.So at the beginning of the year,

(44:21):
my goal was just get back inthe gym three days a week, and
it was three days, no more, no less, because I think my
other problem as because I'm such anextremist that if I go three times and
I feel good, I'll go six, but then next week I'll have done
too much and i won't go thenext week and then I'm already off like
my routine. So it was justhit my three days, no more,

(44:42):
no less. We accomplished it.Great job vale. Now we start again
next week. And I think makingit smaller and more achievable helped me stick
with it. So I or thiswas maybe last January. I think I
ended up sticking with it, SoI think from last January till summer,
I think it last summer I bumpedit up to four days a week,
and then I kept that until likeFebruary this year, and now I'm like,

(45:04):
okay, five days a week plusyoga and a walk, and I
just kind of I mean, ittook time. It took almost two years,
and I think I just hard totell myself like we're sick of feeling
like this. We know that ittakes progress, it takes slow baby steps,
like, yeah, we just needto suck it up and take those
steps, because if you don't takeany steps, you're not gonna get anywhere.
Yeah, And it's so real whatyou said about you don't want to
feel bad about yourself in a swimsuit or miss out on these experience because

(45:28):
of how you feel, Because Ifeel like everyone can relate to being out
somewhere and just not feeling good,like not feeling good about your boss,
the worst whether and you just can'thave fun, like you're so just upset
at yourself and you just don't feelconfident. And then another thing about confidence

(45:50):
is what you said about kind ofbreaking your goals down to like the minimal
amount that you knew you could achieve. I heard on a podcast. I
feel like it's kind of a quotethat's going around right Now that's like confidence
comes from keeping promises you make toyourself. So the more you can keep
those promises and not overextend yourself toa point that you're gonna guilt yourself when
you don't meet them, I feellike that is like the recipe for success

(46:15):
if you just little by little keepmaking those promises and like what you did,
kind of just build them up andbuild them up. Yeah, And
I think it's important, like whenmaking small and jubable goals that you celebrate
them to like after the week,I hit my three workouts on home and
go me. Yeah, don't belike only three, I'm so lazy.
It's like no, Like you didexactly what you set out to do,
Like, great job. That's howyou reinforce the habit is by getting yourself

(46:37):
a reward, positive reinforcement for yourfilms. Yeah, if you set your
like dogs where animals be true,If you reward yourself after doing something,
you're going through the likelihood that you'regoing to continue doing it is so much
higher than if you were to overextendyourself, like say I'm going to go

(47:00):
two days all week and then youdon't meet that, and then you beat
yourself up about it. You're probablynot going to go it all next week,
No, exactly. Yeah, andthat made a big change for me.
So I feel like I'm just nowin present day, in a better
place with my body, with myworkers. I'm not where I quite like
what my end goal whatever that is, Like, I'm not there, but
I feel so much better in mybody. I feel like I've bet more

(47:21):
energy, I feel so much betterat the gym and all around. I
feel better. But I think it'salso not waiting until the end of Like,
yeah, I mean I want tolook even better. I want to
I have goals that I want toreach, like physically, mentally and all
that. But like, I'm alsoreally happy with how far I've come and
like acknowledging that too. Yeah.On a good track. Yeah, on
a good track for sure. Proudof you. How about you? Where

(47:43):
you at present day? So thisyear, whenever I moved to Dallas,
I was addicted to a jewel andit was making me curb my appetite a
lot. So I remember looking backwhen I first moved to Dallas, and
I was really really lean, butit wasn't because I was like working out.
I wasn't not working I was workingout about like three four times a

(48:04):
week, but I was just kindof killing my metabolism by not eating because
I was addicted to jewels or nicotine. And I then after that, I
kind of gained weight and I feltlike just lost a bit of muscle and
just kind of got to a maintenancepoint that I wasn't really happy with.

(48:27):
And then since then it's kind ofbeen a roller coaster with I've been consistent
in the gym, but I justkept expecting myself to be the same level
I was whenever. I was justgiving the gym and my nutrition my awe
and not really understanding why it wasn'thappening for me. And I weighed the

(48:49):
most I've ever weighed, like amonth ago. I weighed one thirty,
which I've always sat around one twenty. And like you said, ten pounds
isn't that much, but whenever you'reso small and you're so used to seeing
yourself for so long at a certainway, it's just it's really weird.
And so that was when I waslike, Okay, I need to get

(49:14):
it together, because I was justeven just last month, I was eating
really really clean for four days ofthe week and then the next three I
would binge like pop tarts and lowmaine and cookies and just anything I could
get my hands on, and thenit was a cycle. So I wasn't
seeing much progress. But recently thismonth, I've just started a whole thirty.

(49:38):
I've started dancing again, I've startedgoing to the gym consistently, like
five days a week and really reallyputting my all into my workouts, and
I've seen such a change in mybody. I've lost six pounds since I've
started a whole thirty, so ifeel like I'm still not even at my
normal weight, but I'm just seeingmy body change again, and it's really

(50:02):
motivating because I'm like, I haven'tseen this in so long, you know,
so it's it's really nice, andI feel like I am getting to
a place where I'm just like,honestly this month where I'm excited about fitness.
I love looking forward to my goalsand making my goals and just getting

(50:22):
back into it. Yeah. AndI think that's an important thing to know
is that like neither of us haveever thought that we looked bad or like
looked unhealthier out of shape, butthere is like a comfort level in your
own body of life. You knowwhen you feel your best, you know
when you feel happy with how youlook in the mirror, and like that

(50:42):
matters, Like you don't have tobe like by standards like obese or unhealthy
to not be comfortable and want toimprove your health. Yeah. I think
we've talked about this too obviously offthe podcast, about like we never want
to feel hungry to the point thatit's affecting our energy anymore. Like I

(51:05):
never want to go into the gymand just be like so dead from not
having any energy from food. Ever. Again, I don't care how lean
that would make me or how manyapps that would give me, Like I
nothing will be worth feeling like that. Yeah, I think we're both at
that stage and our health and fitnessjourney that like we very much base our

(51:27):
habits and our moves around our howwe feel our body. Like it's not
obviously we both want to look goodand like look our best, but yeah,
not at the expense of feeling likeshit. Yeah, absolutely not.
I don't think it's worth it atthat point, because it's just you have
no life. Your life is basicallyrevolving around your hunger, and that is

(51:47):
not fun. M no angry girlshere, No only hot girls. Yes,
how girls crying? Okay? SoI want us to ask a couple
of questions we got on a littleYEA question box. I think we have
just a couple. The first oneis thoughts on weight loss drugs like ozimpic.

(52:08):
I personally don't know a whole lotabout it, Like I don't really
keep it with that stuff that much. I know, if like doesn't magic,
I have some voodoo. Yeah,I'm not sure how we're web but
it slows down from working. Itslows down your digestive system so that you
don't feel hungry. And it's forpeople who have diabetes. Oh oh,

(52:30):
that's the whole controversy, right,yeah, because it's making it inaccessible to
people who do actually have an insulinresistance and things like that and can't get
their medications. I personally think likeeveryone can do what they want with their
body. Everyone has different goals andreasoning behind what they're doing. But I
personally think like our body has anatural way that it wants to function,

(52:52):
and I think countering that in anyway can have its negative effects. But
I mean, then you could saythat about like birth control, and I'm
like all for birth control, andthat's preventing our body from doing something.
So I think it's just, youknow, it's a personal decision. I
think it's just what can how whatare the long term effects? And can
you maintain it? Like is itgoing to make you feel good now but

(53:13):
shit later? Yeah? For me, it seems like it's a lot like
adderall, but kind of in adifferent way. It's a drug that people
take for weight loss that's not meantfor weight loss, and it has adverse
effects, you know, and stufflike that. I'm so pro surgery,
pro altering, pro doing whatever youneed to do unnaturally to like the way

(53:37):
that you look. I think wehave modern medicine. We should use it
to our disposal as we see fit. My biggest thing that I worry about
is for the people who it slowsdown your digestion and then you don't have
an appetite. I know firsthand thatnot having an appetite can really kill your

(53:58):
metabolism, put your body into survivalmode. Yeah, So I just worry
that people aren't eating enough, andthen if they ever want to get off
of it, they're going to bein a worse place than they ever started
off. With to begin with.Yeah, I think hacks are great,
but it just depends on what atwhat expense, And it's like, is
that expense worth it to you?Yeah. A guy came into the bar

(54:22):
when I was bartending the other dayand he was telling me that he's on
Ozympic and he's lost a lot ofweight, but he has no appetite and
he sat down and I don't knowhis whole life. This might have been
his treat meal or whatever. Idon't know, but he ordered like a
cheeseburger and had like three sweet teasthat day. So if it's that type
of situation where you're taking it andthen not eating all day and then having

(54:45):
a bad meal, I know wheneveryou get off of it, it's going
to be really bad. So Ithink if you can come at it from
like, Okay, I'm going touse this as a tool to help me
lose these couple pounds, and I'mgonna make sure I track my macro so
I don't under eat because my bodydoesn't have that hunger response, and you
know, build a muscle while I'mon this so that whenever I do want

(55:07):
to transition off of it, Ican maintain. Yeah, and I think
it's all relative. Like I said, like, I don't know a whole
lot about it. But if you'rein a position where having no appetite is
having is you eating a healthy amountof calories opposed to maybe overeating, then
like great, like that's a hack. But I think it just really depends,

(55:30):
like if you're now have no appetiteand you're binging, you know it
just I think it all just comesdown to, like what's the healthiest way
to go about this that your body'sgonna like long term? Yeah, I
definitely think it shouldn't be your firstresort as well. Yeah, I think
everything comes with like with healthy exerciseand food relationship, Like every single hack

(55:51):
is like but of course maintain thison the side. Yeah, definitely,
you want to you want to dothings that make you feel good as well,
Like we mentioned, you don't wantto just do things for us that
purposes because I feel like, nomatter what it's, it's gonna come at
a price. Yeah, beginning Yangof life. Next question is being in
a relationship and how that affects yourhealth, fitness, goals, lifestyle.

(56:13):
You go first, Oh gosh,josha Wa Laney, I think whenever we
started dating and I really got comfortable. Is a big reason that I like
reached my highest weight that I hadbecause he just eats so bad. He's
a big boy. He's a big, big boy. He's six to five

(56:35):
and two hundred and sixty pounds.For people who don't know him, he's
very big and he does not havethe best eating habits. He has the
pantry of an unsupervised toddler. Hehas oreos, pop dart cereal. Like
he's trying to get better and he'strying to get back on his bodybuilding stuff

(56:57):
himself, but he can kind ofeat pretty bad and not have too many
repercussions from it. Yeah, SoI think when I'm with him, I'm
just like, oh, it's fine, Like I'll just you know, indulge
in all of that. So Ithink who you are is always going to
have an effect on what you eat, what you do all of that.
If you're around treats and people eatingbadly, it can result in you doing

(57:22):
the same thing. And I thinkthat's exactly what happened. So I think
putting myself on whole thirty and reallygiving myself a goal, which I put
myself on whole thirty because I washaving digestive issues. But I think that
really did help me just like reallysay no to all of the things that
I was surrounded by by dating him. So, yeah, it's definitely negatively

(57:44):
impacted by eating, I will saythat, But I think it's just one
of those things you have to havea lot of self awareness and just realize,
like they're their own person, andI have to have the discipline to
manage my own food intake. Yeah, I'm like in the exact same boat
because my husband, he is notsix foot five, but he does also
have the diet interests of a toddler. If I let him, he'd probably

(58:09):
just eat cereal every single meal,and that's great for him. But he
also has, like he has alwayshad like a superactive job, so he's
always had a pretty fast metabolism andjust genetically he's a bit like thinner and
can maintain that easily. And sofor all of our relationship, like it's
one of those where he can sitthere and eat burgers and fries and desserts
and wake up with a six pack, and I'm over here, like I

(58:31):
gotta go to the gym in themorning. Yeah, and I think that
that sucks because like that makes ithard because when you are in a comfortable
relationship, like you want to kindof like have those like that's one of
our favorite things to do, Likewe bondo our food and like we're quite
foodies, Like we love to goout and try the new restaurant and the
new desserts. Like we love that. But it's just something like we've had

(58:51):
to kind of find a balance oflike I just have to be able to
tell him, you know, we'renot eating like shit today, like it's
Saturday night, like that's have ahealthier alternative. And I think now that
he's getting a little bit older,and he would hate to hear me say
this, but like now that he'sgetting a little bit older and he's working
like in an office, I thinkhe's just like seeing the effects a bit
more of like, Okay, youkind of have to try a little bit

(59:12):
hard to maintain, you know,a healthy lifestyle. So it's good because
we're kind of on the same pagenow, but I think for a long
time, like it would just beso hard to like just see him eat
whatever, and I'm like, wellI wanted to sit here and eat whatever,
and I would start to like matchwhat he was eating, and then
I'm yeeing like way more than Ishould. And and he obviously would never
say like, oh, like Ican tell that you've been eating bad or
like whatever. So it's hard becausehe's always telling me like I look so

(59:36):
good and then that, and I'mlike, I'm saying good, same whatever
I was. And I think theysay that because they hear you talk about
like, oh, I don't likehow I look right now, and then
they try to pick you up likeand I should probably do. They love
it, but like I don't,Yeah, exactly. It's all about like
you feeling like your most confident self. So I would say definitely being in
a relationship with a guy because theyjust I feel like, typically not all

(01:00:01):
of them, but typically they eatworse and can get away with a lot
more in terms of they're eating.Typically it does at a layer. Yeah,
I think who you surround yourself definitelyis always going to have an influence.
But like, that's what made abig difference for me was hanging out
with you and seeing how you howto discipline lifestyle and healthy and it was
very like revolved around your wellness andso like that influenced me. But then

(01:00:24):
it's like when you go home toyour partner who's eating candy for dinner,
it's kind of like how do Ido both? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
it's like one mindset shift to another. Yeah yeah, okay. Um.
The next question is what diets,food lifestyle changes have worked for you
guys and feeling better overall? Ithink for me like a balanced one like

(01:00:46):
right now, Like I love agood restriction, I love a good challenge,
but right now I'm just like,no challenges, no restrictions, just
eat good. It makes me feelgood. I'm eating a healthy amount of
calories. That feel is my workout, but I'm not an a deficit.
I'm working out a good amount oftimes, but not overjamming it. If
I miss a day, I missa day. But I definitely a more

(01:01:07):
disciplined than know that, Like ifI go to the gym today, I'll
feel better. So I've made ita point now where it's like it's just
part of my day, it's nota chore. And same thing with eating,
like I know like if I eatbetter tonight, I'm going to wake
up out how a better day tomorrow. So I think just like getting to
this point of balance, which isvery new for me, has really it's
somehow worked. Imagine that. Imaginethat that's awesome. I think that's the

(01:01:31):
gold standard. You know, that'skind of just the place you want to
be at. It Like even whenyou said you were doing whole third you're
like, do it with me,and I'm like, oh, I want
to, but I'm just like,no, we're in a good place,
Like let's not add restrictions. Yeah. See, I had to do it
because I knew I wasn't and itwas just kind of like the season I
knew I need to be in andit was main reason I didn't. It
was because I was having issues.But I know myself. I know that

(01:01:52):
if I immediate was like going intoI'd be like, we're going to do
it. And then it's just likewhy why there was no need? Like
you're doing fine, Like why Ichange anything? Yeah? For me,
I think the biggest thing that reallyreally helps me is meal prepping. I
love to have like a full dayof just prepping all of my meals for
the week, and it takes allof the stress out of eating for the

(01:02:14):
rest of the week and also justmaking really really good recipes, so that
you're not eating just chicken and riceand it's kind of just like blah.
Like even on Whole thirty, I'vebeen able to make such good food,
and I think that's really important foranybody eating. I don't ever think eating
should be just a chore or somethingthat's not a good experience ever, because

(01:02:37):
I think that's going to have badrepercussions around food in the long term.
So yeah, I think meal preppingfor me has been game changing. I
think for me, Whole thirty rightnow has been really really, really nice.
I think just as an experiment ingeneral to see all of the additives

(01:02:57):
and just to know what eating allwhole foods really looks like or can look
like in your diet, so thatyou know, kind of like whenever you
count macros, you kind of havean idea of like, okay, this
is when you go into intuitive eating. So if you are feeling like you
want to take on a little experimentor challenge or something like that, that

(01:03:21):
could be fun for you are doingseventy five soft or seventy five hard.
If you're feeling like you want todo that or you need to do that,
that can be fun. But onlyif you view it as so not
as like I need to do thisin order to yeah feel good. So
yeah, it's kind of been what'sworking for me lately. And I think
that's like two really great examples ofyou know, awareness is key, Like

(01:03:43):
I think, like like you said, with like flexible dieting and if if
it's your macro is like you're justmuch more aware of like what a serving
size is, like how many dollarsare in this, and like what additives
are in some things. I thinklike awareness is huge and like getting to
a point where like you just havea better understanding and that's like goes for
anything in life. Yeah. Butand also planning, just like the more
you can plan, you know,the more effectively you can accomplish something.

(01:04:05):
And so what does it you failto plan and plan to pail? Yes,
ma'am, that's my favorite quote,is it? Yeah? I love
that que Well, it's not myfavorite quote, but it's my favorite like
Dewey quote, you know, myfavorite, um motivational type of quote.
Yeah, would buy it. That'sit. Well, I think that's all
of our confections today.