August 4, 2025 • 22 mins
We are human, so there are bound to be activities we enjoy doing with children more than others. We need to be careful not to send silent messages that discourage children based on our preferences. Join Cindy and Alison as they discuss how we can teach children that different people can like different things.
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- Learn more about Cindy's work, including professional development, family education, and consulting opportunities: https://hihello.com/hi/cindyterebush-RXMBKA
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to How Preschool Teachers Do It. This is Alison
Kentto's I am an early childhood educator, and this is
Cindy terror Bush. I am an early childhood consultant.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
This podcast is for parents and early childhood professionals.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Let our experience and research based knowledge become your guide.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
High preschool peeps.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Hi peeps.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
So it's been a minute since we recorded together, and
we've been sitting here for I can't tell you how
long trying to get our act together.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yeah, we have fully forgotten what to do. And it's
only been like what like two months, it's.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Been a minute. Yeah, so we we we apologize if
we're sitting here fumfering for things like if you're on
YouTube and you see me looking around.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah, it might be a little rusty at things here,
but hey, we're humans.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
We're good.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
But we have really good topics for today. So we're
going to start with our with our first one soon.
But first Allison has to shout out.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
You know.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
One of the benefits of not recording for a minute
is that we have new locations.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
To shout out, and we're excited because we are shouting
out Bulgaria today and we have never shouted them out
ever before, So.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Yay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And to the people of California, specifically the people in Fremont.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Hey people, thanks for being on Preschool Peeps. Please tell
your friends and neighbors and co workers and maybe your
boss to come on over and listen to the podcast.
So today's episode, I'm gonna start with a little story.
I think, okay, all right, all right, this topic. I
sometimes go and do credential observations, so I get to
(01:33):
see a lot of different places and people and things,
which is really awesome. And I was doing a credential
observation not too long ago. And if you are listening,
because and you're thinking, wait she came and did mine,
it's not you. Okay, it's not you. I was observing
in a classroom and the children wanted to do something,
(01:54):
which I loved to see that as an observer, because
they felt free to say we want to do this.
During free plag they went to the one of the
adults and said we want to do this, and it
wasn't something that the adult originally had offered as a suggestion,
and the adult was sort of like, oh, okay, sure,
(02:15):
it's a big smile on excuse me, puts a big
smile on, which didn't look real to me or the children,
and said, okay, great, I'll just sit with you and
we'll do that together. That's a great idea with a
gritting smile.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
It's reminded me of how how I am when people
ask me to go do something socially like adults, and
I'm like, okay, yeah, I can do that.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, it's like that.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I'll be there at noon.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
It was very much. Yeah, yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I guess.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
You know, it's free play and we're being observed, and
technically I'm supposed to let you do what you want,
and I didn't suggest that, but I guess we're gonna
do that. Yeah, I have to tell you I noticed it,
and it was it was minorly entertaining for me watching
this person just squirm. And it wasn't even the person. Honestly,
it wasn't the person I was there to observe. It
was the other person in the room, and and just
(03:07):
it was I was just like, wow, that person's really squirming.
And if I noticed the squirming, certainly the children noticed
the squirming. So here's what happened. So this person's sort
of squirming and going yeah, sure, uh, okay, we could
do that instead, puts on a big smile, gets whatever
the children need, bring it over, and and now they
(03:28):
the children sort of half heartedly put their hands in
this spin, use something for a minute, and they leave.
They go to do something else. And I was like,
message received, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
He totally understood. They student really was like, okay, she
don't want to be here. I don't want to be
here either.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
I felt like I wasn't the only one who got
the the picture of what was happening here. And I
have to say that the child who was like I
don't know, maybe three and a half, was very polite, right,
waited for the objects, picked up one or two out
of the bin, put them back, and walked away. And
I was like yeah, And had the child not been
(04:06):
so enthusiastic about it before, I would have thought, oh,
maybe he just changed his mind. But I think there
was an influence. And we're human, yes, right, we're human,
and sometimes the things we do and don't want to
do are just going to show up through our nonverbal communication.
I think, no matter how as an early educator, we
(04:28):
get this voice right where we go Okay, great, that's
a great idea, idea, but your gestures and your facial
expressions in your body language may not be saying that.
And I don't even know that that's within your control.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I agree, I don't think it necessarily is in your control.
That's why, Like before we started this, I said, I
don't really know what tips to give because I don't
think we can really hide it all the time.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
We're human beings, right, so like you can't.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
You know, it's hard to fake all the time.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Like it's hard to be on and fake all day
every day about every single thing, right, So, like, and
I don't think it's human nature to be able to
be like that, Like I don't.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
I don't think it's possible.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
I also think of it kind of reminds me of
myself with with things I just don't enjoy, like let's say,
for example, mathematics. Yes, just as.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Sinday has talked a lot about how she does not
like mathematics.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Just as an example. You know, we go to sit
down to do a mathematics activity that I have planned. Okay,
you should be okay with it. I have this in
my lesson plans. I have planned this, right, so you're
prepared for it. But I'm pretty sure that my level
(05:49):
of enthusiasm, passion, and engagement is not the same as
when I'm doing something that is more within my comfort zone.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Right, And I think they're gonna sense that, right, Like,
I'm a big science person, so when I teach science,
I'm enthusiastic, I am passionate about it. And then you're
gonna go over to math, which I'm not really that
good at, and I'm like, Okay, that's done. The lesson
cool because I have to have it, and my lesson, yeah,
sure you do it is the same passion gonna be
there for it. No, And the kids might say, hey,
like when she was teaching us about seeds and plants,
(06:20):
she was like all into it and now look, so
it might not even be something like I don't mean
to pooh pooh the whole mathematics, but I kind of
and yet and yet I am, but only maybe because
they're compared with Like, but when she read the book,
she was cool, you know, and now she's like, eh.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
You know, I think they're gonna sense it. But at
the same time, I'm really bad at that.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
I know.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
It's the same time, it's not something where my passion lies.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
I think it's not even just passion.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
It's like, I know I'm not good at it, so
but there's kids in my class who are incredibly good
at it. Yeah, So then like, how do you even
I can't fake being good at it?
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
There are other situations where our humanity also can damper
the spirits of children. And when I think about the
math though, going back to that for a second, so
just because math wasn't so good to me, or I
wasn't so good to math, it doesn't mean that that's
not going to be that that's going to be the
same for the children. And I don't want the children
to get the message that math is not a good subject.
(07:24):
So you know, but there are other ways when our
preferences shine through, even though we try so hard to
not have that happen. Again, as an observer, I can
tell you that I see it.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
You notice it. I do.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I see it.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
When this is not something you're trying, you're putting a
good face on it, you're acting as if, as it
says in the title of this episode, you're acting as
if but part of and so it's human to not
be able to totally communicate love it or passion for it.
(08:02):
It's also you meant to pick up those signals and think, oh,
maybe this isn't something we would want to do. And
these are all silent messages, like I'm not saying anyone
sitting around going listen, children, I really dislike math, but
we're required to do it because it's in our standards.
So come on, over, come on over. Nobody's doing that.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I think it's also in some of the events that
might be planned at school, like for me, water Day.
HI hate water I hate I hate it with a passion.
I hate water Day, and here I am and I
have to be enthusiastic about water Day when I have
(08:42):
so many things against it. But I have to just
put on a happy face and be like.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Hey, we're gonna have fun today, guys.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
We're gonna go in the sprinkler. We're gonna change a
million outfits or whatever.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Because you have to write like you can't be like,
I'm not gonna send my class outside because I hate
water Day.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Oh you know, only only I could.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I would, But I feel like if I sit there
like water day, guys, it's water Day tomorrow, then they're
not gonna do it, right, they're not, and we should
be like, at least letting them try it out, because
maybe they'll love it, and great, they'll grow up loving it.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
I will never love it, but I have to be
like giving them that opportunity to try to.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I truly disliked having to sunscreen all the children.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
There's another thing it is.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It is really first of all, in the state we're in,
you're required to wear gloves when you sunscreen children.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yes, and in some like I worked in. I don't
know if it's in this state or was it in
another state. You had to change gloves between.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Each this state, you have to change between every child
because every time our ingredients that some children could be
allergic to, so you have to wreak glove between every child.
You have to have the gloves on. I don't know
if any of you have ever tried to put sunscreen
on with gloves on your hands, but it's nearly impossible
possible to.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Rub the stuff in.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
And so it's the bane of every teacher's existence in
our state and probably others. Yeah, and yet we have
to do it because we know it's the right and
safe thing to do, and it protects the children, and
no one wants to send a crispy child home. So
we're just gonna do the sunscreen. I wonder if the
silent message the children was sunscreen is hateful, yes, when
(10:23):
really sunscreen is there to protect me and keep me healthy.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But I also feel like while I'm doing sunscreen, I'm like,
we're putting this on to protect your skin.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Worthy.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
But that's the whole thing of like thanks for inviting me,
you know, like we're doing this because we are because
we want to be healthy, but I am I saying
it in an enthusiastic way.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Or the food, the food have about food, food that
you don't like the smell of or you don't like
the look of. And finally on this list of things
that we try to put a happy face on but
strug with, yeah, children's behavior. There are some children who
exhibit behavior that challenge us. And that challenge shows on
your face in your interactions, in what you're willing and
(11:10):
not willing to do with these children. So now the question,
of course is we're saying it's very human that you
have nonverbal reactions that you don't even know about or
can't control. So what do I do? I think one
thing I need to do is reflect reflect on when
are the times and events and people and possibilities that
(11:32):
I might be communicating in a nonverbal way, that this
is something other than good for you, pleasurable, something we
believe you can do, something you may be very capable of,
something that is good for your health, something that is
good for your development, Like when are we actually communicating
(11:54):
the opposite? And I think that takes some self reflection,
you know, it takes the ability to say something to
yourself like I don't know that I always react to
this child's behavior. Well, but you can't just sit on that.
You have to think, so what am I gonna do?
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Right?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
What am I gonna do?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And I think one of the things I would do
is speak with the team members in my classroom and say, listen,
I know that I may not be doing the best
communication or the best that could possibly be done for
this child. So when this happens, I will cover you
if you cover me, right, That's work, teamwork. I think
(12:34):
it also matters to sit with the people you work with.
And I'm assuming you have more than one person in
the room right now. If you don't, we'll talk about
that in a minute. But I think to sit with
the other people in the room and say something like
math was always difficult for me, how do you feel
about math? Maybe, instead of rotating these different content area activities,
(12:59):
if you're okay with me, you should always do math.
We handle the math, and then i'll I'll go around
during free play time and add math knowledge to what
they're doing. But to have the concentrated effort maybe should
be you or the planned effort, not concentrated effort, to
have the activity planned for small group time, for example,
maybe it should be you. In an interesting survey that
(13:20):
I do sometimes, and it has to do with behavior,
but I think it applies to this too. I do
this survey during a professional development session every time, and
every time it works out the same way. So there
are classrooms strategies for addressing things that I put in
a poll, okay, okay, And I say to the people first,
what do you think you do the most in these strategies?
And they vote, and then I say what do you
(13:41):
think you do the least? And you know the one
that always wins that poll. Get on the same page
with the people working in my classroom.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Yes, it always, I'm telling you. I feel like.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
This is me this is me speaking for me, interacting
with adult is way harder for me than interacting with children.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
So like, if I have to go.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Up to and it takes being like good, having a
good relationship with your your assistant, Like I now have
an assistant that she and I were friends outside of work,
so like, hey, I could just tell great, I just
talked to her. But the one I had, like other
aids that I've had in the past, maybe I wouldn't
and I would I wouldn't want to feel like I'm
bossing them around, right, I think is what I would be.
(14:24):
So I'm like, Okay, I'll just handle that all on
my own, you know, instead of having this friction or
asking or like when really you should come into this
and say, hey, my strength is science, my strength is
reading and literacy.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
What are your strengths? What do you like to do
with the children?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
What can we how can we incorporate your strengths into
the lessons?
Speaker 4 (14:42):
You know, like, how can.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
We incorporate your your preferences into small groups? Would you
prefer to do the math rather than the science or
would you prefer to do the writing and the literacy
rather than this?
Speaker 4 (14:54):
And see, because your person might.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Love doing the stuff that you hate, okay, and then
it's a good balance.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
You know what occurs to me though, sometimes you have
the same strengths as the other person. That's hard, and
that's hard, and you know, sometimes we'll say maybe we
take turns, but sometimes you know, we will go And
I know because I was I ran a program. Yeah,
sometimes people will come to me and say, like, next year,
can I have a different assistant? And it's usually because
of personality conflicts usually, right, yeah, it's usually we're not
(15:25):
we're not getting along er, we don't see this sort
of thing to Another reason to go and say can
I work with somebody else next year is because you
have the same exact strengths and the same exact areas
or you're not as strong. That doesn't help the children
to have the same exact strengths, right right, right, right,
So folks, that's another reason to go and say, I
(15:45):
think we need to mix up the talent pool here
a little bit. We have the same strengths, and I
don't know that that serves the children. You will enjoy it, though,
if you have the same strengths as someone else, because
you feel like you have a lot in common then
and so we tell to feel very comfortable with those
people and enjoy it. So I'm gonna submit to you,
you can become comfortable with anyone if you would just
sit and talk to each other, which people tell me
(16:07):
they don't do. And I've said to people in my
professional development sessions, why does collaborating with the other person
always come up with?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
That's what I do the least, And.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
People just look uncomfortable when I ask them that question
because they know they need to be doing it, right.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
But I don't think people admit like I'll I'll readily
admit like I am an introverted person that doesn't really
interact with adults very well.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Okay, like we get along, yeah, because we can get along.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Because we're the same, right, Okay. But but.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I also think, like when you're in the work situation,
it's like uncomfortable to begin with sometimes, right, Like you're
kind of like you don't always have you don't have
a choice of your age or shoved in this room.
You're like the best aut of this and if you don't,
you know what I mean, And if you don't communicate
well with each other, then that's rough from the very beginning,
and it's hard to get back right if you started
(17:00):
off figure like that. I think sometimes it's hard to
go in the middle of like, hey, I know we
haven't really been communicating, but let's start now.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Like it's hard, it's hard. Being an adult is hard.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
You have to start, and you know, I encourage you
all when the school year starts to sit down and say,
before the school year starts, let's not only set up
this room, but let's set up our strategy for things. Right,
let's sit and talk about how we feel. What are
your strengths, What do you think or not are your strengths?
Speaker 4 (17:27):
What sort of.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Things are triggers for you in a classroom? What sort
of things are triggers for me in a classroom. I
think that's important to talk about.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, nobody talks about and sometimes you don't realize what
triggers are until they happen.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
But then once you realize that, you need to go
to the other person. But like, that really set me off?
So is there but it didn't seem to set you off?
Can you handle that when that happens? I think I
think it's a worthy conversation when this happens, because that
pushes your buttons kind of thing. And that's good because
then it's less frustrating for the child, and the child
(18:00):
it's going to learn more if they're with somebody who
can handle that situation.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Yeah, I agree, you know, and I don't think that's
happening enough. So let's say you work alone in a classroom. Yeah,
now what now you can't help but communicate to the children.
Maybe I'm passionate about this and not so passionate about that.
I think at a certain age of children, by the
time you're alone in a group of children, they're at
(18:25):
least pre k, don't you think, at.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Least four or five?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Four or five?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Yeah, And I think that it's there are certain conversations
we can have with children at that age that help
them to understand human nature, things like we all have
things we like, we all have things we don't like.
Let's sit and talk about it. And just because you
don't like this doesn't mean he has to not like it.
(18:52):
I think we can have those conversations, you know, I have.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Those conversations with three year olds because I'm like, just
because you like this movie doesn't mean she has to
like this movie. But you guys can still be friends.
I tell them that all the time, but I think
it's a very simplified way. But then once you're in kindergarten,
you can even yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
You can say talk about it, when by the time
they're in kindergarten you can say, I'm really glad you
love doing this math. It was something that I struggled
with when I was young, and I love that you
love it. I think we have to acknowledge when we
see them being passionate. And this is true no matter
how many people you work with. When we see they
have a passion for something, we have to acknowledge it
and tell them how much we appreciate their passion for it,
(19:33):
so that they know, even if I don't like it,
or I'm communicating that nonverbally, somehow I treasure the fact.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
That you like it.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
I think that has to be communicated. There's also a
very important anti bias conversation that needs to happen in classrooms,
which is we are simultaneously similar and different. Yes, so
it can be we all like going to the movies,
but we like different movies.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Right.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
We all enjoy free play time in school, or you
both enjoy free play time, but you enjoy playing with
different things, and that's fine. So I think that we
are similar and different at the same time. Conversation is
very important because they'll understand, Oh, I don't have to agree, right,
You don't have to do I don't have to agree.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
You just need to be respectful right or kind right? Right?
You still have to cordially work with each other.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Even though you might want to use magnetiles differently, you
could still use them together.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
You don't like.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
So we are going to collaborate with colleagues to see
where are your strengths and weaknesses, What are your triggers,
what are mine? When should we cover what with each other?
With the children, we're going to communicate with the children
that we can all we all have similarities and differences
at the same time. We can like the same general thing,
(20:54):
like being in school, but we like different things when
we're in school. So that they learn you don't have
to you like and dislike the same things as any
other human being.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Right.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
And we're going to reflect, and we're gonna think how
did that go? What messages are they receiving from me?
How did I behave?
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Not only them?
Speaker 3 (21:18):
How did I behave? Because I'm human and I.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Have behaviors too.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Yeah, all right, I think that pretty.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Much does it.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
So if you're looking at YouTube, if you're not, please
come to YouTube, watch an episode or two, get us
hours on there. It helps our algorithms like us, although
we have more people liking us now. I don't know
if I told you that. So like us on YouTube,
subscribe on YouTube please it gets us algorithms. And Alison
moved her head so that if you are on YouTube
(21:46):
you can see the QR code. If you hold up
your camera on your mobile device, it'll name your browser
or the site that this is connected to, which is
called high Hello, and you tap on that and it
will give you the links to all of our stuff.
But you can also just go yourself and you can
find our page on Facebook and our YouTube channel and
(22:08):
where else are we our website. It's all called how
Preschool Teachers Do It? Okay, folks. I hope you go
and think about all this and we'll catch you next
time on the podcast. Bye peep, Bye peeps.
Welcome to How Preschool Teachers Do It. This is Alison
Kentto's I am an early childhood educator, and this is
Cindy terror Bush. I am an early childhood consultant.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
This podcast is for parents and early childhood professionals.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Let our experience and research based knowledge become your guide.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
High preschool peeps.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Hi peeps.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
So it's been a minute since we recorded together, and
we've been sitting here for I can't tell you how
long trying to get our act together.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yeah, we have fully forgotten what to do. And it's
only been like what like two months, it's.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Been a minute. Yeah, so we we we apologize if
we're sitting here fumfering for things like if you're on
YouTube and you see me looking around.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah, it might be a little rusty at things here,
but hey, we're humans.
Speaker 4 (00:46):
We're good.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
But we have really good topics for today. So we're
going to start with our with our first one soon.
But first Allison has to shout out.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
You know.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
One of the benefits of not recording for a minute
is that we have new locations.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
To shout out, and we're excited because we are shouting
out Bulgaria today and we have never shouted them out
ever before, So.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Yay, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And to the people of California, specifically the people in Fremont.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Hey people, thanks for being on Preschool Peeps. Please tell
your friends and neighbors and co workers and maybe your
boss to come on over and listen to the podcast.
So today's episode, I'm gonna start with a little story.
I think, okay, all right, all right, this topic. I
sometimes go and do credential observations, so I get to
(01:33):
see a lot of different places and people and things,
which is really awesome. And I was doing a credential
observation not too long ago. And if you are listening,
because and you're thinking, wait she came and did mine,
it's not you. Okay, it's not you. I was observing
in a classroom and the children wanted to do something,
(01:54):
which I loved to see that as an observer, because
they felt free to say we want to do this.
During free plag they went to the one of the
adults and said we want to do this, and it
wasn't something that the adult originally had offered as a suggestion,
and the adult was sort of like, oh, okay, sure,
(02:15):
it's a big smile on excuse me, puts a big
smile on, which didn't look real to me or the children,
and said, okay, great, I'll just sit with you and
we'll do that together. That's a great idea with a
gritting smile.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
It's reminded me of how how I am when people
ask me to go do something socially like adults, and
I'm like, okay, yeah, I can do that.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, it's like that.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I'll be there at noon.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
It was very much. Yeah, yeah, it was.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I guess.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
You know, it's free play and we're being observed, and
technically I'm supposed to let you do what you want,
and I didn't suggest that, but I guess we're gonna
do that. Yeah, I have to tell you I noticed it,
and it was it was minorly entertaining for me watching
this person just squirm. And it wasn't even the person. Honestly,
it wasn't the person I was there to observe. It
was the other person in the room, and and just
(03:07):
it was I was just like, wow, that person's really squirming.
And if I noticed the squirming, certainly the children noticed
the squirming. So here's what happened. So this person's sort
of squirming and going yeah, sure, uh, okay, we could
do that instead, puts on a big smile, gets whatever
the children need, bring it over, and and now they
(03:28):
the children sort of half heartedly put their hands in
this spin, use something for a minute, and they leave.
They go to do something else. And I was like,
message received, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
He totally understood. They student really was like, okay, she
don't want to be here. I don't want to be
here either.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
I felt like I wasn't the only one who got
the the picture of what was happening here. And I
have to say that the child who was like I
don't know, maybe three and a half, was very polite, right,
waited for the objects, picked up one or two out
of the bin, put them back, and walked away. And
I was like yeah, And had the child not been
(04:06):
so enthusiastic about it before, I would have thought, oh,
maybe he just changed his mind. But I think there
was an influence. And we're human, yes, right, we're human,
and sometimes the things we do and don't want to
do are just going to show up through our nonverbal communication.
I think, no matter how as an early educator, we
(04:28):
get this voice right where we go Okay, great, that's
a great idea, idea, but your gestures and your facial
expressions in your body language may not be saying that.
And I don't even know that that's within your control.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I agree, I don't think it necessarily is in your control.
That's why, Like before we started this, I said, I
don't really know what tips to give because I don't
think we can really hide it all the time.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
We're human beings, right, so like you can't.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
You know, it's hard to fake all the time.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Like it's hard to be on and fake all day
every day about every single thing, right, So, like, and
I don't think it's human nature to be able to
be like that, Like I don't.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
I don't think it's possible.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
I also think of it kind of reminds me of
myself with with things I just don't enjoy, like let's say,
for example, mathematics. Yes, just as.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Sinday has talked a lot about how she does not
like mathematics.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Just as an example. You know, we go to sit
down to do a mathematics activity that I have planned. Okay,
you should be okay with it. I have this in
my lesson plans. I have planned this, right, so you're
prepared for it. But I'm pretty sure that my level
(05:49):
of enthusiasm, passion, and engagement is not the same as
when I'm doing something that is more within my comfort zone.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Right, And I think they're gonna sense that, right, Like,
I'm a big science person, so when I teach science,
I'm enthusiastic, I am passionate about it. And then you're
gonna go over to math, which I'm not really that
good at, and I'm like, Okay, that's done. The lesson
cool because I have to have it, and my lesson, yeah,
sure you do it is the same passion gonna be
there for it. No, And the kids might say, hey,
like when she was teaching us about seeds and plants,
(06:20):
she was like all into it and now look, so
it might not even be something like I don't mean
to pooh pooh the whole mathematics, but I kind of
and yet and yet I am, but only maybe because
they're compared with Like, but when she read the book,
she was cool, you know, and now she's like, eh.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
You know, I think they're gonna sense it. But at
the same time, I'm really bad at that.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
I know.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
It's the same time, it's not something where my passion lies.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
I think it's not even just passion.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
It's like, I know I'm not good at it, so
but there's kids in my class who are incredibly good
at it. Yeah, So then like, how do you even
I can't fake being good at it?
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
There are other situations where our humanity also can damper
the spirits of children. And when I think about the
math though, going back to that for a second, so
just because math wasn't so good to me, or I
wasn't so good to math, it doesn't mean that that's
not going to be that that's going to be the
same for the children. And I don't want the children
to get the message that math is not a good subject.
(07:24):
So you know, but there are other ways when our
preferences shine through, even though we try so hard to
not have that happen. Again, as an observer, I can
tell you that I see it.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
You notice it. I do.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I see it.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
When this is not something you're trying, you're putting a
good face on it, you're acting as if, as it
says in the title of this episode, you're acting as
if but part of and so it's human to not
be able to totally communicate love it or passion for it.
(08:02):
It's also you meant to pick up those signals and think, oh,
maybe this isn't something we would want to do. And
these are all silent messages, like I'm not saying anyone
sitting around going listen, children, I really dislike math, but
we're required to do it because it's in our standards.
So come on, over, come on over. Nobody's doing that.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I think it's also in some of the events that
might be planned at school, like for me, water Day.
HI hate water I hate I hate it with a passion.
I hate water Day, and here I am and I
have to be enthusiastic about water Day when I have
(08:42):
so many things against it. But I have to just
put on a happy face and be like.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Hey, we're gonna have fun today, guys.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
We're gonna go in the sprinkler. We're gonna change a
million outfits or whatever.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Because you have to write like you can't be like,
I'm not gonna send my class outside because I hate
water Day.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Oh you know, only only I could.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I would, But I feel like if I sit there
like water day, guys, it's water Day tomorrow, then they're
not gonna do it, right, they're not, and we should
be like, at least letting them try it out, because
maybe they'll love it, and great, they'll grow up loving it.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
I will never love it, but I have to be
like giving them that opportunity to try to.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I truly disliked having to sunscreen all the children.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
There's another thing it is.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It is really first of all, in the state we're in,
you're required to wear gloves when you sunscreen children.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yes, and in some like I worked in. I don't
know if it's in this state or was it in
another state. You had to change gloves between.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Each this state, you have to change between every child
because every time our ingredients that some children could be
allergic to, so you have to wreak glove between every child.
You have to have the gloves on. I don't know
if any of you have ever tried to put sunscreen
on with gloves on your hands, but it's nearly impossible
possible to.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Rub the stuff in.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
And so it's the bane of every teacher's existence in
our state and probably others. Yeah, and yet we have
to do it because we know it's the right and
safe thing to do, and it protects the children, and
no one wants to send a crispy child home. So
we're just gonna do the sunscreen. I wonder if the
silent message the children was sunscreen is hateful, yes, when
(10:23):
really sunscreen is there to protect me and keep me healthy.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But I also feel like while I'm doing sunscreen, I'm like,
we're putting this on to protect your skin.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Worthy.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
But that's the whole thing of like thanks for inviting me,
you know, like we're doing this because we are because
we want to be healthy, but I am I saying
it in an enthusiastic way.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Or the food, the food have about food, food that
you don't like the smell of or you don't like
the look of. And finally on this list of things
that we try to put a happy face on but
strug with, yeah, children's behavior. There are some children who
exhibit behavior that challenge us. And that challenge shows on
your face in your interactions, in what you're willing and
(11:10):
not willing to do with these children. So now the question,
of course is we're saying it's very human that you
have nonverbal reactions that you don't even know about or
can't control. So what do I do? I think one
thing I need to do is reflect reflect on when
are the times and events and people and possibilities that
(11:32):
I might be communicating in a nonverbal way, that this
is something other than good for you, pleasurable, something we
believe you can do, something you may be very capable of,
something that is good for your health, something that is
good for your development, Like when are we actually communicating
(11:54):
the opposite? And I think that takes some self reflection,
you know, it takes the ability to say something to
yourself like I don't know that I always react to
this child's behavior. Well, but you can't just sit on that.
You have to think, so what am I gonna do?
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Right?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
What am I gonna do?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And I think one of the things I would do
is speak with the team members in my classroom and say, listen,
I know that I may not be doing the best
communication or the best that could possibly be done for
this child. So when this happens, I will cover you
if you cover me, right, That's work, teamwork. I think
(12:34):
it also matters to sit with the people you work with.
And I'm assuming you have more than one person in
the room right now. If you don't, we'll talk about
that in a minute. But I think to sit with
the other people in the room and say something like
math was always difficult for me, how do you feel
about math? Maybe, instead of rotating these different content area activities,
(12:59):
if you're okay with me, you should always do math.
We handle the math, and then i'll I'll go around
during free play time and add math knowledge to what
they're doing. But to have the concentrated effort maybe should
be you or the planned effort, not concentrated effort, to
have the activity planned for small group time, for example,
maybe it should be you. In an interesting survey that
(13:20):
I do sometimes, and it has to do with behavior,
but I think it applies to this too. I do
this survey during a professional development session every time, and
every time it works out the same way. So there
are classrooms strategies for addressing things that I put in
a poll, okay, okay, And I say to the people first,
what do you think you do the most in these strategies?
And they vote, and then I say what do you
(13:41):
think you do the least? And you know the one
that always wins that poll. Get on the same page
with the people working in my classroom.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Yes, it always, I'm telling you. I feel like.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
This is me this is me speaking for me, interacting
with adult is way harder for me than interacting with children.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
So like, if I have to go.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Up to and it takes being like good, having a
good relationship with your your assistant, Like I now have
an assistant that she and I were friends outside of work,
so like, hey, I could just tell great, I just
talked to her. But the one I had, like other
aids that I've had in the past, maybe I wouldn't
and I would I wouldn't want to feel like I'm
bossing them around, right, I think is what I would be.
(14:24):
So I'm like, Okay, I'll just handle that all on
my own, you know, instead of having this friction or
asking or like when really you should come into this
and say, hey, my strength is science, my strength is
reading and literacy.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
What are your strengths? What do you like to do
with the children?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
What can we how can we incorporate your strengths into
the lessons?
Speaker 4 (14:42):
You know, like, how can.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
We incorporate your your preferences into small groups? Would you
prefer to do the math rather than the science or
would you prefer to do the writing and the literacy
rather than this?
Speaker 4 (14:54):
And see, because your person might.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Love doing the stuff that you hate, okay, and then
it's a good balance.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
You know what occurs to me though, sometimes you have
the same strengths as the other person. That's hard, and
that's hard, and you know, sometimes we'll say maybe we
take turns, but sometimes you know, we will go And
I know because I was I ran a program. Yeah,
sometimes people will come to me and say, like, next year,
can I have a different assistant? And it's usually because
of personality conflicts usually, right, yeah, it's usually we're not
(15:25):
we're not getting along er, we don't see this sort
of thing to Another reason to go and say can
I work with somebody else next year is because you
have the same exact strengths and the same exact areas
or you're not as strong. That doesn't help the children
to have the same exact strengths, right right, right, right,
So folks, that's another reason to go and say, I
(15:45):
think we need to mix up the talent pool here
a little bit. We have the same strengths, and I
don't know that that serves the children. You will enjoy it, though,
if you have the same strengths as someone else, because
you feel like you have a lot in common then
and so we tell to feel very comfortable with those
people and enjoy it. So I'm gonna submit to you,
you can become comfortable with anyone if you would just
sit and talk to each other, which people tell me
(16:07):
they don't do. And I've said to people in my
professional development sessions, why does collaborating with the other person
always come up with?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
That's what I do the least, And.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
People just look uncomfortable when I ask them that question
because they know they need to be doing it, right.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
But I don't think people admit like I'll I'll readily
admit like I am an introverted person that doesn't really
interact with adults very well.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Okay, like we get along, yeah, because we can get along.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Because we're the same, right, Okay. But but.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I also think, like when you're in the work situation,
it's like uncomfortable to begin with sometimes, right, Like you're
kind of like you don't always have you don't have
a choice of your age or shoved in this room.
You're like the best aut of this and if you don't,
you know what I mean, And if you don't communicate
well with each other, then that's rough from the very beginning,
and it's hard to get back right if you started
(17:00):
off figure like that. I think sometimes it's hard to
go in the middle of like, hey, I know we
haven't really been communicating, but let's start now.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Like it's hard, it's hard. Being an adult is hard.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
You have to start, and you know, I encourage you
all when the school year starts to sit down and say,
before the school year starts, let's not only set up
this room, but let's set up our strategy for things. Right,
let's sit and talk about how we feel. What are
your strengths, What do you think or not are your strengths?
Speaker 4 (17:27):
What sort of.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Things are triggers for you in a classroom? What sort
of things are triggers for me in a classroom. I
think that's important to talk about.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah, nobody talks about and sometimes you don't realize what
triggers are until they happen.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
But then once you realize that, you need to go
to the other person. But like, that really set me off?
So is there but it didn't seem to set you off?
Can you handle that when that happens? I think I
think it's a worthy conversation when this happens, because that
pushes your buttons kind of thing. And that's good because
then it's less frustrating for the child, and the child
(18:00):
it's going to learn more if they're with somebody who
can handle that situation.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Yeah, I agree, you know, and I don't think that's
happening enough. So let's say you work alone in a classroom. Yeah,
now what now you can't help but communicate to the children.
Maybe I'm passionate about this and not so passionate about that.
I think at a certain age of children, by the
time you're alone in a group of children, they're at
(18:25):
least pre k, don't you think, at.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Least four or five?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Four or five?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Yeah, And I think that it's there are certain conversations
we can have with children at that age that help
them to understand human nature, things like we all have
things we like, we all have things we don't like.
Let's sit and talk about it. And just because you
don't like this doesn't mean he has to not like it.
(18:52):
I think we can have those conversations, you know, I have.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Those conversations with three year olds because I'm like, just
because you like this movie doesn't mean she has to
like this movie. But you guys can still be friends.
I tell them that all the time, but I think
it's a very simplified way. But then once you're in kindergarten,
you can even yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
You can say talk about it, when by the time
they're in kindergarten you can say, I'm really glad you
love doing this math. It was something that I struggled
with when I was young, and I love that you
love it. I think we have to acknowledge when we
see them being passionate. And this is true no matter
how many people you work with. When we see they
have a passion for something, we have to acknowledge it
and tell them how much we appreciate their passion for it,
(19:33):
so that they know, even if I don't like it,
or I'm communicating that nonverbally, somehow I treasure the fact.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
That you like it.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
I think that has to be communicated. There's also a
very important anti bias conversation that needs to happen in classrooms,
which is we are simultaneously similar and different. Yes, so
it can be we all like going to the movies,
but we like different movies.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Right.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
We all enjoy free play time in school, or you
both enjoy free play time, but you enjoy playing with
different things, and that's fine. So I think that we
are similar and different at the same time. Conversation is
very important because they'll understand, Oh, I don't have to agree, right,
You don't have to do I don't have to agree.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
You just need to be respectful right or kind right? Right?
You still have to cordially work with each other.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Even though you might want to use magnetiles differently, you
could still use them together.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
You don't like.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
So we are going to collaborate with colleagues to see
where are your strengths and weaknesses, What are your triggers,
what are mine? When should we cover what with each other?
With the children, we're going to communicate with the children
that we can all we all have similarities and differences
at the same time. We can like the same general thing,
(20:54):
like being in school, but we like different things when
we're in school. So that they learn you don't have
to you like and dislike the same things as any
other human being.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Right.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
And we're going to reflect, and we're gonna think how
did that go? What messages are they receiving from me?
How did I behave?
Speaker 4 (21:17):
Not only them?
Speaker 3 (21:18):
How did I behave? Because I'm human and I.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Have behaviors too.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Yeah, all right, I think that pretty.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Much does it.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
So if you're looking at YouTube, if you're not, please
come to YouTube, watch an episode or two, get us
hours on there. It helps our algorithms like us, although
we have more people liking us now. I don't know
if I told you that. So like us on YouTube,
subscribe on YouTube please it gets us algorithms. And Alison
moved her head so that if you are on YouTube
(21:46):
you can see the QR code. If you hold up
your camera on your mobile device, it'll name your browser
or the site that this is connected to, which is
called high Hello, and you tap on that and it
will give you the links to all of our stuff.
But you can also just go yourself and you can
find our page on Facebook and our YouTube channel and
(22:08):
where else are we our website. It's all called how
Preschool Teachers Do It? Okay, folks. I hope you go
and think about all this and we'll catch you next
time on the podcast. Bye peep, Bye peeps.
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