August 16, 2025 • 27 mins
What if your 60s, 70s, and beyond could be the most vibrant, purposeful years of your life? Leadership coach and bestselling author Erika Andersen joins us to share insights from her new book, The New Old: Crafting Your Best Later Life. From mastering Spanish in her 70s to creating a thriving life between Spain and America, Erika reveals three transformative principles for aging magnificently: being the boss of your life, mastering your mindset, and getting good at change.
In this inspiring conversation, Erika shows us that growing older isn’t about winding down—it’s about stepping up into a new chapter of possibility, connection, and joy. If you’ve ever wondered how to make your “third act” your best act, this episode is your guide.
Get the Book:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F9J64157?ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_8FR3TY4T9EXTCERPHRFR&bestFormat=true
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-am-refocused-radio--2671113/support.
In this inspiring conversation, Erika shows us that growing older isn’t about winding down—it’s about stepping up into a new chapter of possibility, connection, and joy. If you’ve ever wondered how to make your “third act” your best act, this episode is your guide.
Get the Book:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F9J64157?ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cp_ud_dp_8FR3TY4T9EXTCERPHRFR&bestFormat=true
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-am-refocused-radio--2671113/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You are listening to I Am Refocused Radio with your
host Shamaiah Read. This show is designed to inspire you
to live your purpose and regain your focus. And now
here's your host, Shamaiah Read.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Welcome back to you Focus Radio. We are here once again,
and this time we have a special guest, Erica Anderson.
She is a leadership coach, best selling author, and a
world traveler who's splitting her vibrant life between Spain and
America and her new book The New Old Crafting Your
Best Later Life. Erica reveals a powerful truth going excuse me,
(00:42):
growing older is inevitable, but aging is a choice. We're
going to learn about her story today and the backstory
of how she got her book together and published with
inspiration of storytelling. We're going to have her jump right
in today. So first and foremost, Erica, thank you spend
some time with us.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
How you doing today, I'm great. Thank you so much
for having me. Thanks for that nice introduction.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I appreciate it. So when you think about the process
of packaging books together and publishing, that's a art in itself.
So before we get into the book public publishing part,
tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Okay, So I, as you said, have been for many
years a leadership coach. I started a company called Proteus
in nineteen ninety and our mission it still exists. It's
not being run by my younger partners. But our mission
has always been to help people clarify and move toward
their hope for future, so refocus right, to get clear
(01:47):
about the future they want to create, either for themselves
individually or for their businesses, and then to help them
achieve that. So as I kind of step back from
the business, especially during the pandemic, you know, I was
walking around a lot in nature during the pandemic and
I thought, okay, I'm in in my late sixties. I
don't want to keep working forever. What's next? You know,
(02:08):
what's my next chapter? And as I thought about it,
I realized I had already written five books that had
done very well. It was in the process of writing
the fifth about change. And I always when I write
a book, I always am trying to crack a code
for the readers, like to take something that people think
of as being difficult and complicated and show the easier
(02:30):
path through it. So the code that I was trying
to crack as I started thinking about writing this new book.
The new old was how to get old well, because
there's a lot of agism, first of all, in our society,
and there aren't a lot of stories of people aging
well and having wonderful, vibrant third acts. And so I thought, Okay,
(02:53):
I want to figure I want to help figure this
out so that I and other people can have lives
in our seventies, eighties, nineties, hundreds that are wonderful, that
are joyful and purposeful and feel satisfying.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Right, I mean, that is not a bad place to be.
I think most people would hopefully aim for that quality
and understanding that everything is your journey. Everything comes with
how well you prepare versus you executing what you have
(03:27):
mentally and fixedly positioning yourself to go for as an
art in itself. For everyone's fingerprint is their original copy.
So for you, I mean, you look like you haven't
turned out to value you really push yourself to do
so it makes work and for you living multiple places
(03:48):
to get into that in few But what is your secret?
Sauce being able to have clarity for what you want
to do in life? Great to talk?
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yeah, it's easy to talk, so so let me put
a little backstory to that. So the reason I called
the book the New Old is because it is being
able to get old is new. For most of history,
most people have not lived past sixty or sixty five, right,
so for the first time in human history to be
seventy or eighty is common. There's a statistic that I
(04:26):
put in the book that I love, which is that
if somebody is a reasonably healthy, non smoking sixty five
year old, they have about even odds today of living
to be ninety. That's never been true, you know. So
what was before all throughout history was just kind of
(04:46):
a little epilogue, you know, Chapter one, you grow up,
Chapter two, year grown up, chapter three. You know, you
know that little epilogue can now be twenty thirty, forty years.
So we need, to your point, to get clear about
what we want want that to be. So the first
there are three principles in the book, and the first
one is be the boss of your life when you're
(05:07):
an old person. And part of that is, right to
your point, get very clear about your vision for this future,
for this third act, because a lot of times, once
people stop having a full time job, once they stop
growing kids, they don't stop envisioning that future anymore, but
you can, you can say what do I want that
(05:28):
third act to be? What kind of an older person
do I want to be? And what kind of a
life do I want to have? And so you know,
I use myself as an example and the vision I
created for myself. But then in the book, I take
people through a process, a simple process of how to
create that for themselves and then how to make a
plan to fulfill it, and then how to build a
(05:49):
kind of crew around you to support you're having that
kind of life. So it's very practical. The book is
it's a lot of stories and hopefully humor, but it's
also very practical.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
And speaking of support, I mean a lot of young
people don't think about going to doctors and getting check
ups and having a relationship in that world because sometimes
it's scary and it's you know, see the price on things.
It's like wait what. But when you're getting older, sometimes
you really don't have a choice but see the doctors
(06:25):
and stay on top of your health.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
At the age well, people have that same kind of
flight or fight reaction. I know a lot of older
people who don't go to doctors, who don't watch what
they do, don't take care of they all because they're
the kind of avoiding the whole thing. And you know,
you gotta be honest with yourself. You'll look straight at it.
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I was going to ask, what has been your experience
being able to manage all these different projects still growing
up gracefully and having the energy. Because I'm listening to
you is like, wow, you wake up a little bit
because you have this massive energy about you.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I think that when you are clear about yourself and
about the future you want to have, it like releases energy.
I think a lot of our energy gets caught up
not being clear and just kind of worrying and mentally
wringing our hands, and a lot of people's energy I
think is hidden because they're not clear. Once you're clear,
(07:25):
it's like, Okay, this is who I want to be,
this is the kind of life I want to have.
All right, So now I'm going to do what I
need to do to make that happen. So I think
just clarity releases a lot of energy.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Right right, once again, listen to tell me from this
radio and talking to our guests today, Erica Anderson. My
next question, I want to dive into is your experience
between Spain in America. So my question for you is
how has living in these two different cultures helped shape
your view and what it means to as with Grace.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
So it were all kind of happened at the same time.
So when I decided to learn Spanish about eight years ago,
eight or nine years ago, and my husband said, hey,
let's vacation in a place where they speak Spanish. Let's
go to Spain. Okay, So we ended up going to
the North of Spain. And most Americans don't know. Most
Americans when they think of Spain, they think of southern
Spain a lot of tourists, really hot beaches. But the
(08:25):
north of Spain's very different. It's it's green and Celtic,
and it's less well known, but it's absolutely beautiful. So
we went there in twenty seventeen, a part of Spain
called us Studios. We fell in love. We went back
every year. A couple of years later, we invited our
kids and grandkids, and we just kept going back. And
then the more we were there, and as I was
at this time working on both of us working on
(08:47):
our visions, we realized that that culture was much more
aligned with the kind of older life that we want
to have. Spain, just to start with, Spain had the
life expectancy in Spain is five years longer than the
life expectancy in the US, and a lot of it
is because they have this culture that really supports older
people and keeps them connected with their families and with society,
(09:11):
and you know, older people are important there and they
people depend on their wisdom and it's just very different
than it is in the States. And so that really
appealed to us. So finally we ultimately, I ultimately ended
up getting a digital nomad visa. I think I'm the
oldest digital loved in Spain, and so we live there
(09:31):
most of the time. We live there about nine months
a year, and it's just it's that it's that feeling
of oh, this is aligned. This feels like aligned with
and supportive of the kind of older life that we
both want to have. We come back two or three
times a year to see our kids and see our
grandkids and do this and see our friends. But Spain
(09:51):
just feels much more like you know, when I say
a line is just like lined up with who we
want to be.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
And not to get off top people. But I can
imagine the food experience in Spain. It's something interesting to
talk about, not to make people hungry, but have you
all found a favorite spot that you like to go
to in Spain?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Oh, it's spectacular. In fact, our city where we live.
It's a city called Ovielo in the north of Spain,
and last year it won. They have a price called
the Capital Gastronomica the Espania. It's like the city that
has the best food in Spain and they pick one
every year, and last year they picked our city. So
(10:33):
it's hard not to find a good place to go
out to eat.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
You know, when you think about family, you mentioned about
inviting your family and grandkids and have them to experience
what you and your husband recently experienced. How important is
it for people to be exposed to different experiences when
it comes to culture or just traveling. What do you
(10:58):
believe that kind of does to a person mind when
they are able to reach out like that.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
That's a great question. I think it's really important. So
the third principle in the book is get good at change,
and I talk about how you know when younger people
A lot of times think older people's life are kind
of stagnant and unchanging, like nothing happens. So far from
the truth, There's so many changes that happen when you
get old. I mean, people you love die, you might
get sick, your kids move away. You know, all these
(11:24):
things happen and you don't really have any control over it.
So I talk about how to get better at going
through change, you know, necessary change, kind of change it's
in post upon you. But then I also took about
how important it is for your energy, for your brain,
for having a great life, to put yourself into experiences
(11:45):
of change, to learn new l like you know, I
learned Spanish in my sixties and seventies, learning a whole
new culture, learning a whole new place. I think putting
yourself into new experiences is one. It's kind of you know,
your brain works great when you're seventy or eight ninety
if you keep using it. So exposing yourself to new ideas,
(12:05):
new experiences, new languages, new cultures is wonderful for your brain.
And it's the thing you need to do if you
want your brain to say good. So I feel like
it's super important to just and it can be anything.
It doesn't have to be moving to Spain and learning
home in the language. It can be doing sudoku or
learning a new you know, learning that nit. It just
(12:26):
you just have to keep yourself fresh and that really
helps create a great older life.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I asked me why when we say the word fresh,
I thought about lof for bread. You know how this
expiration day on that is not as fresh. That kind
of tease up. The next question is for those who
are aging and things are not as fresh as they
would like it to be, what would you say to
someone who maybe find themselves into that negative, vicious cycle
(12:57):
of talking, you know, with frustration and bitter.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Oh my god, you're setting this up so well stright.
So the second principle, the only one I haven't talked
about in the book, is master your mindset. And it's
precisely what you're talking about. It turns out, and you
know this, we have so much control over how we
talk to ourselves. And it turns out that how you
talk to yourself, your belief set, and your mindset about
(13:25):
aging is the single most important factor in terms of
how long you live and how well you live. In fact,
there's this fascinating study that the Yale School of Public
Health did starting about twenty five years ago. They took
about eight hundred people and they asked them a bunch
of questions, true and false questions, to see what their
attitude was about aging. Was it positive or negative? Like
(13:49):
one question was old people are a burden on society?
True or false. If you say true, you have pretty
negative attitude about aging. Right, So then they just divided
those eight hundred people in terms of their positive or
negative attitudes, and then they followed them. They just followed
their lives for the next twenty three years, and it
turns out that just having a positive attitude toward aging
(14:14):
increased those people's lifespan by an average of seven point
six years seven and a half years. That's like twice
as much more life as you get from not smoking
or lowering your cholesterol. It's hugely impactful. So in the book,
I teach a way to manage your self talk to
begin to speak to yourself more positively. Then there's a
(14:37):
chapter on mindfulness, which I'm no year familiar with, just
being present nonjudgmentally, and then a chapter on gratitude, because
it turns out that if you can create a little
gratitude practice, even if your life is difficult. It's hugely powerful.
I use in that chapter. I use the example of
my brother David, my older brother, who died four years ago,
(14:58):
and he had had maturn to arthritis for many years
and was just valiant in working instant. But then he
got cancer and he had chemotherapy and it cured the cancer,
but it killed his body, his body which was already weakened,
you know, And he was so I have such admiration
for him. He was grateful for his life until literally
(15:21):
the day he died, Grateful for his partner we love,
grateful for his kids, grateful for him, the sunshining, for
breathing for and he just he was such a powerful
demonstration that you don't have to have a fantastic life
to be grateful. You're just grateful for what's good in
your life, and that makes your life better. You know
(15:44):
that just being grateful makes you joyful. And so all
three of those things I think are critical in response
to what you're saying. People do can as they get older,
get into a negative kind of complainy, unhappy mindset, and
you can do you can have control of that. You
don't have to stay there.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Wee thing one zoom in on is presence and gratitude.
And my mind is like a movie. When people talk,
I just the film just takes on its own life.
So presence is the door and gratitude is the door knob.
(16:26):
From this is that you can be present, but until
you're grateful you can actually open that door and walk
through the new experience. So my next question is when
older people find themselves find difficulty with change. I can
imagine sometimes change is very necessary, but in some ways
(16:50):
in forms is very difficult for people. How do you
navigate getting through the change process?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I love that, so I teach in the book a
process for going through change. It turns out that, again
this won't surprise you, the most critical aspect of going
through and not going through change is your mindset, is
how you think about it. And it turns out that
most people, when a change comes in it seems difficult.
They assume. We assume that it's going to be difficult
(17:23):
and costly and weird, that it's going to be hard
for us to do. We won't know how to do it.
People wi get in the way that's difficult, that it
will take from us things we value. That's what costly means, right,
It will take from us things we value, and weird
just means ah, that's not how I don't like it
is weirds change. Right, So we notice that when people
(17:46):
who are good at going through change, when they go
through change, it's usually not because anything around them has changed.
It's because their attitude about the change changes and they
start thinking, oh, oh well, maybe instead of being difficult,
I could make it easier at least doable. Maybe it
will reward me more than it costs me, it will
(18:08):
give me more than it takes away. And maybe I
could make it normal instead of weird. And again it
turns out we have a lot of control you. When
a change comes at you and you think, oh, this
is going to be difficult, cost same weird, you can
go to yourself, wait, wait, wait, okay, how can I
make it easier? What could it give me versus what's
(18:28):
it going to take away? And how can I make
it more normal? You have that control, You can say
that to yourself. So I teach people how to do that.
And then the next chapter is called modify gracefully, because
a lot of times when you get old, you just can't.
I mean, being seventy three is not the same as
being thirty three, and so you know, if you've been
climbing mountains all your life, you might have to go
(18:50):
on long walks instead of you know, so how do
you make that modification gracefully? It's by using that same process.
How can I make this change easier? How can I
make it more rewarding? How can I make it more normal?
Because a lot of times when people need to change,
either physically or mentally as they get older, they do
it kind of kicking and screaming, and then it's painful
and uncomfortable, and everybody around them is telling you, you know,
(19:13):
you really probably should wind mountains anymore. So it's how
to take charge again, take control of your own life
and make that modification with grace. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And I got another visual. So we can't control the
ripple effect in the pond, but we can't choose the
stone we throw in.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Oh, you're good at that. That's exactly you can choose
the stone you throw in precisely.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, Because my dad will always say the bill you make,
you don't sleep in it, and no one's going to
trace spaces with you. It's your responsibility to do that.
So that's what I'm getting from these choices like, yeah,
I mean not be able to climb mountains, but I
can still move. Maybe I just walked a little bit longer,
(20:02):
and they think I just think about the mountains I
used to climb. But what I'm getting there is it's
easy to settle for what we think is the norm
because it's comfortable in that in that place. But it's
funny because if you get too comfortable, you start to
(20:22):
regret because you miss on the window opportunities in life
one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
And that and that's also to go back to the
beginning of our conversation, that's why it's so important to
have a clear vision for yourself because then you can
use it as kind of your north star. And if
you start to just like drift and get into an
unhappy place that's not working for you, you can go, well,
hold up, hold up, is this who I said I
wanted to be? Is this the kind of life I
said I want to have? Oh no, it's not. I
(20:49):
have a commitment to myself. I want to move, I
want to do that. I want to do what I
said I want to do.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
For those who are listening, watching watching Tup's radio talking
to our guests, Erica Anderson feels like, I just have
so much pressure. I don't know if I can go
for it or if I should just you know, a
place safe. What we say to people who they know
without doubt they want to do something else or they
(21:18):
want to try something different, but they just feel like
they're still scared to give it a shot.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
M My, hope. This doesn't feel like a cop but
I feel like I feel like this book would be
really helpful to you because it's all that it's kind
of like, Okay, how do you get clear about who
you really want to be, what will really bring you joy,
what will make you feel like you're the person you
want to be? Then how do you get charge of
(21:44):
your mindset so that you can't that negative voice in
your head can't talk you out of what you know
you want to do? And then how do you literally
get good at change? How do you help yourself go
through things and learn new things and modify gracefully. And
then the very last chapter in the book, and this
is helpful too, is about connection because it turns out that,
(22:06):
well this is not a surprise to most people, Connecting
with other human beings is absolutely essential to our physical
and emotional and mental well being. And unfortunately, when people
get old, a lot of times those connections free. You know,
their spouse might die, they're not connected with the people
they know at work anymore, their kids move away. So
(22:26):
I talk about how to reignite, how to make new
connections as you get old. And one of the great
things about main connections is you can connect with people
who don't have your same weaknesses, who kind of compliment you. So,
for instance, if you're somebody who is who finds yourself
getting stuck in your habits, getting stuck in your not
(22:47):
very comfortable comfort zone, then connect with somebody who doesn't
do that, and they can be a great example to you,
and you can talk to them about how they do it.
So connection helps us on so many levels. It's one
of them. It's really important to have models, like, for instance,
I give you a great example. I mean, I'm pretty
good at doing all this stuff, and I need models too.
(23:08):
So one of my friends in Spain is this wonderful woman, Pilar,
who's just about to turn ninety. Her ninetieth birthday is
next year. She's just awesome. She lives in her apartment,
she has all her friends, she takes classes in the
open University, she walks around the city. You know, I
look at her and I'm like, Okay, that's why i
want to be in sixteen years, you know. So it's
(23:29):
really helpful at any age, but especially when you get
old to see to have in your life people who
are living the kind of lives that you want to live.
Modeling is really important to us, as representation as any
kind of person is really important.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Once again, the Sungry focus is ready watching this online
talking to Erica, I understand. I want to add to that.
And that is not only as connection valuable, but I
really had to talk with a friend and the other
day about this, and that is you can be the
person that listens to radio or watching fairy TV program
(24:07):
whatever and say one day, poof, you don't see it
for whatever reason. You can either be mad, complain, worry
why is it not here? Why blah blah blah. Or
you can go through the channels or you've watching TV scroll.
(24:29):
I mean it's digital now, so it's like you can move.
It's what I'm getting that as well. It's why I'm
getting that. So the magic is the next move. Yes,
because we're so stuck sometimes on the past or the
violin I'm not happy. Well, what have you done about
(24:52):
it lately? Yeah, that's the bigger question. Or maybe just
start to ask yourself questions to find some.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Answers exactly, and you can overcome your fear. The one
little chapter in the book before I kind of get
started with the principles is called this is a little terrifying,
And it's because there is something terrifying about being old.
You're gonna die. You're going to die sooner than you've
already lived. You know, you have ten or twenty or
thirty years. You don't have one hundred years probably, And
(25:19):
so in that chapter I go through, Okay, so how
do you face your fears? So because a lot of
times people just they're afraid of things and they just
avoid looking at them. So it's really helpful to name it.
What am I afraid of? What's the worst that could
happen if this fear came to pass? Okay, what can
I do to work against that? And then do that?
(25:40):
I mean, you can be kind of practical about facing
your fears. And I think that's really helpful to know
because sometimes people get so overwhelmed by their fears. It
feels so terrifying and risky that they're just like, mentally
go into a cave, you know, but no, you can
face it and you can move through it.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Time doesn't wait for no one. That's what they say,
whether it's this show I have to land a plane,
or if it's getting older in life, time just keeps
going with or without us. So with that said, you're
watching us right now listening. Go get a copy of
book The New Old Crafting your Best Later Life and
talking to Erica Anderson. If people want to get this book,
(26:22):
what's the best website they can go to to learn
about your resources?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
They can get the book on Amazon or indie bound
or anywhere. It's for sale anywhere, and it's paperback, hardback
audio which I recorded Kindle, so they can get in
any format. And if they want to find out more
about me, they can just go to my website which
is Erica Anderson dot com. Easy.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Well do you have it? Once again be talking to
Erica Anderson. Like I always want to say, thank you
for your time.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Thank you so much. You're really good at this. This
was very fun. Thank you
You are listening to I Am Refocused Radio with your
host Shamaiah Read. This show is designed to inspire you
to live your purpose and regain your focus. And now
here's your host, Shamaiah Read.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Welcome back to you Focus Radio. We are here once again,
and this time we have a special guest, Erica Anderson.
She is a leadership coach, best selling author, and a
world traveler who's splitting her vibrant life between Spain and
America and her new book The New Old Crafting Your
Best Later Life. Erica reveals a powerful truth going excuse me,
(00:42):
growing older is inevitable, but aging is a choice. We're
going to learn about her story today and the backstory
of how she got her book together and published with
inspiration of storytelling. We're going to have her jump right
in today. So first and foremost, Erica, thank you spend
some time with us.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
How you doing today, I'm great. Thank you so much
for having me. Thanks for that nice introduction.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I appreciate it. So when you think about the process
of packaging books together and publishing, that's a art in itself.
So before we get into the book public publishing part,
tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Okay, So I, as you said, have been for many
years a leadership coach. I started a company called Proteus
in nineteen ninety and our mission it still exists. It's
not being run by my younger partners. But our mission
has always been to help people clarify and move toward
their hope for future, so refocus right, to get clear
(01:47):
about the future they want to create, either for themselves
individually or for their businesses, and then to help them
achieve that. So as I kind of step back from
the business, especially during the pandemic, you know, I was
walking around a lot in nature during the pandemic and
I thought, okay, I'm in in my late sixties. I
don't want to keep working forever. What's next? You know,
(02:08):
what's my next chapter? And as I thought about it,
I realized I had already written five books that had
done very well. It was in the process of writing
the fifth about change. And I always when I write
a book, I always am trying to crack a code
for the readers, like to take something that people think
of as being difficult and complicated and show the easier
(02:30):
path through it. So the code that I was trying
to crack as I started thinking about writing this new book.
The new old was how to get old well, because
there's a lot of agism, first of all, in our society,
and there aren't a lot of stories of people aging
well and having wonderful, vibrant third acts. And so I thought, Okay,
(02:53):
I want to figure I want to help figure this
out so that I and other people can have lives
in our seventies, eighties, nineties, hundreds that are wonderful, that
are joyful and purposeful and feel satisfying.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Right, I mean, that is not a bad place to be.
I think most people would hopefully aim for that quality
and understanding that everything is your journey. Everything comes with
how well you prepare versus you executing what you have
(03:27):
mentally and fixedly positioning yourself to go for as an
art in itself. For everyone's fingerprint is their original copy.
So for you, I mean, you look like you haven't
turned out to value you really push yourself to do
so it makes work and for you living multiple places
(03:48):
to get into that in few But what is your secret?
Sauce being able to have clarity for what you want
to do in life? Great to talk?
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Yeah, it's easy to talk, so so let me put
a little backstory to that. So the reason I called
the book the New Old is because it is being
able to get old is new. For most of history,
most people have not lived past sixty or sixty five, right,
so for the first time in human history to be
seventy or eighty is common. There's a statistic that I
(04:26):
put in the book that I love, which is that
if somebody is a reasonably healthy, non smoking sixty five
year old, they have about even odds today of living
to be ninety. That's never been true, you know. So
what was before all throughout history was just kind of
(04:46):
a little epilogue, you know, Chapter one, you grow up,
Chapter two, year grown up, chapter three. You know, you
know that little epilogue can now be twenty thirty, forty years.
So we need, to your point, to get clear about
what we want want that to be. So the first
there are three principles in the book, and the first
one is be the boss of your life when you're
(05:07):
an old person. And part of that is, right to
your point, get very clear about your vision for this future,
for this third act, because a lot of times, once
people stop having a full time job, once they stop
growing kids, they don't stop envisioning that future anymore, but
you can, you can say what do I want that
(05:28):
third act to be? What kind of an older person
do I want to be? And what kind of a
life do I want to have? And so you know,
I use myself as an example and the vision I
created for myself. But then in the book, I take
people through a process, a simple process of how to
create that for themselves and then how to make a
plan to fulfill it, and then how to build a
(05:49):
kind of crew around you to support you're having that
kind of life. So it's very practical. The book is
it's a lot of stories and hopefully humor, but it's
also very practical.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
And speaking of support, I mean a lot of young
people don't think about going to doctors and getting check
ups and having a relationship in that world because sometimes
it's scary and it's you know, see the price on things.
It's like wait what. But when you're getting older, sometimes
you really don't have a choice but see the doctors
(06:25):
and stay on top of your health.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
At the age well, people have that same kind of
flight or fight reaction. I know a lot of older
people who don't go to doctors, who don't watch what
they do, don't take care of they all because they're
the kind of avoiding the whole thing. And you know,
you gotta be honest with yourself. You'll look straight at it.
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I was going to ask, what has been your experience
being able to manage all these different projects still growing
up gracefully and having the energy. Because I'm listening to
you is like, wow, you wake up a little bit
because you have this massive energy about you.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I think that when you are clear about yourself and
about the future you want to have, it like releases energy.
I think a lot of our energy gets caught up
not being clear and just kind of worrying and mentally
wringing our hands, and a lot of people's energy I
think is hidden because they're not clear. Once you're clear,
(07:25):
it's like, Okay, this is who I want to be,
this is the kind of life I want to have.
All right, So now I'm going to do what I
need to do to make that happen. So I think
just clarity releases a lot of energy.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Right right, once again, listen to tell me from this
radio and talking to our guests today, Erica Anderson. My
next question, I want to dive into is your experience
between Spain in America. So my question for you is
how has living in these two different cultures helped shape
your view and what it means to as with Grace.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
So it were all kind of happened at the same time.
So when I decided to learn Spanish about eight years ago,
eight or nine years ago, and my husband said, hey,
let's vacation in a place where they speak Spanish. Let's
go to Spain. Okay, So we ended up going to
the North of Spain. And most Americans don't know. Most
Americans when they think of Spain, they think of southern
Spain a lot of tourists, really hot beaches. But the
(08:25):
north of Spain's very different. It's it's green and Celtic,
and it's less well known, but it's absolutely beautiful. So
we went there in twenty seventeen, a part of Spain
called us Studios. We fell in love. We went back
every year. A couple of years later, we invited our
kids and grandkids, and we just kept going back. And
then the more we were there, and as I was
at this time working on both of us working on
(08:47):
our visions, we realized that that culture was much more
aligned with the kind of older life that we want
to have. Spain, just to start with, Spain had the
life expectancy in Spain is five years longer than the
life expectancy in the US, and a lot of it
is because they have this culture that really supports older
people and keeps them connected with their families and with society,
(09:11):
and you know, older people are important there and they
people depend on their wisdom and it's just very different
than it is in the States. And so that really
appealed to us. So finally we ultimately, I ultimately ended
up getting a digital nomad visa. I think I'm the
oldest digital loved in Spain, and so we live there
(09:31):
most of the time. We live there about nine months
a year, and it's just it's that it's that feeling
of oh, this is aligned. This feels like aligned with
and supportive of the kind of older life that we
both want to have. We come back two or three
times a year to see our kids and see our
grandkids and do this and see our friends. But Spain
(09:51):
just feels much more like you know, when I say
a line is just like lined up with who we
want to be.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
And not to get off top people. But I can
imagine the food experience in Spain. It's something interesting to
talk about, not to make people hungry, but have you
all found a favorite spot that you like to go
to in Spain?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Oh, it's spectacular. In fact, our city where we live.
It's a city called Ovielo in the north of Spain,
and last year it won. They have a price called
the Capital Gastronomica the Espania. It's like the city that
has the best food in Spain and they pick one
every year, and last year they picked our city. So
(10:33):
it's hard not to find a good place to go
out to eat.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
You know, when you think about family, you mentioned about
inviting your family and grandkids and have them to experience
what you and your husband recently experienced. How important is
it for people to be exposed to different experiences when
it comes to culture or just traveling. What do you
(10:58):
believe that kind of does to a person mind when
they are able to reach out like that.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
That's a great question. I think it's really important. So
the third principle in the book is get good at change,
and I talk about how you know when younger people
A lot of times think older people's life are kind
of stagnant and unchanging, like nothing happens. So far from
the truth, There's so many changes that happen when you
get old. I mean, people you love die, you might
get sick, your kids move away. You know, all these
(11:24):
things happen and you don't really have any control over it.
So I talk about how to get better at going
through change, you know, necessary change, kind of change it's
in post upon you. But then I also took about
how important it is for your energy, for your brain,
for having a great life, to put yourself into experiences
(11:45):
of change, to learn new l like you know, I
learned Spanish in my sixties and seventies, learning a whole
new culture, learning a whole new place. I think putting
yourself into new experiences is one. It's kind of you know,
your brain works great when you're seventy or eight ninety
if you keep using it. So exposing yourself to new ideas,
(12:05):
new experiences, new languages, new cultures is wonderful for your brain.
And it's the thing you need to do if you
want your brain to say good. So I feel like
it's super important to just and it can be anything.
It doesn't have to be moving to Spain and learning
home in the language. It can be doing sudoku or
learning a new you know, learning that nit. It just
(12:26):
you just have to keep yourself fresh and that really
helps create a great older life.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I asked me why when we say the word fresh,
I thought about lof for bread. You know how this
expiration day on that is not as fresh. That kind
of tease up. The next question is for those who
are aging and things are not as fresh as they
would like it to be, what would you say to
someone who maybe find themselves into that negative, vicious cycle
(12:57):
of talking, you know, with frustration and bitter.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Oh my god, you're setting this up so well stright.
So the second principle, the only one I haven't talked
about in the book, is master your mindset. And it's
precisely what you're talking about. It turns out, and you
know this, we have so much control over how we
talk to ourselves. And it turns out that how you
talk to yourself, your belief set, and your mindset about
(13:25):
aging is the single most important factor in terms of
how long you live and how well you live. In fact,
there's this fascinating study that the Yale School of Public
Health did starting about twenty five years ago. They took
about eight hundred people and they asked them a bunch
of questions, true and false questions, to see what their
attitude was about aging. Was it positive or negative? Like
(13:49):
one question was old people are a burden on society?
True or false. If you say true, you have pretty
negative attitude about aging. Right, So then they just divided
those eight hundred people in terms of their positive or
negative attitudes, and then they followed them. They just followed
their lives for the next twenty three years, and it
turns out that just having a positive attitude toward aging
(14:14):
increased those people's lifespan by an average of seven point
six years seven and a half years. That's like twice
as much more life as you get from not smoking
or lowering your cholesterol. It's hugely impactful. So in the book,
I teach a way to manage your self talk to
begin to speak to yourself more positively. Then there's a
(14:37):
chapter on mindfulness, which I'm no year familiar with, just
being present nonjudgmentally, and then a chapter on gratitude, because
it turns out that if you can create a little
gratitude practice, even if your life is difficult. It's hugely powerful.
I use in that chapter. I use the example of
my brother David, my older brother, who died four years ago,
(14:58):
and he had had maturn to arthritis for many years
and was just valiant in working instant. But then he
got cancer and he had chemotherapy and it cured the cancer,
but it killed his body, his body which was already weakened,
you know, And he was so I have such admiration
for him. He was grateful for his life until literally
(15:21):
the day he died, Grateful for his partner we love,
grateful for his kids, grateful for him, the sunshining, for
breathing for and he just he was such a powerful
demonstration that you don't have to have a fantastic life
to be grateful. You're just grateful for what's good in
your life, and that makes your life better. You know
(15:44):
that just being grateful makes you joyful. And so all
three of those things I think are critical in response
to what you're saying. People do can as they get older,
get into a negative kind of complainy, unhappy mindset, and
you can do you can have control of that. You
don't have to stay there.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Wee thing one zoom in on is presence and gratitude.
And my mind is like a movie. When people talk,
I just the film just takes on its own life.
So presence is the door and gratitude is the door knob.
(16:26):
From this is that you can be present, but until
you're grateful you can actually open that door and walk
through the new experience. So my next question is when
older people find themselves find difficulty with change. I can
imagine sometimes change is very necessary, but in some ways
(16:50):
in forms is very difficult for people. How do you
navigate getting through the change process?
Speaker 3 (16:59):
I love that, so I teach in the book a
process for going through change. It turns out that, again
this won't surprise you, the most critical aspect of going
through and not going through change is your mindset, is
how you think about it. And it turns out that
most people, when a change comes in it seems difficult.
They assume. We assume that it's going to be difficult
(17:23):
and costly and weird, that it's going to be hard
for us to do. We won't know how to do it.
People wi get in the way that's difficult, that it
will take from us things we value. That's what costly means, right,
It will take from us things we value, and weird
just means ah, that's not how I don't like it
is weirds change. Right, So we notice that when people
(17:46):
who are good at going through change, when they go
through change, it's usually not because anything around them has changed.
It's because their attitude about the change changes and they
start thinking, oh, oh well, maybe instead of being difficult,
I could make it easier at least doable. Maybe it
will reward me more than it costs me, it will
(18:08):
give me more than it takes away. And maybe I
could make it normal instead of weird. And again it
turns out we have a lot of control you. When
a change comes at you and you think, oh, this
is going to be difficult, cost same weird, you can
go to yourself, wait, wait, wait, okay, how can I
make it easier? What could it give me versus what's
(18:28):
it going to take away? And how can I make
it more normal? You have that control, You can say
that to yourself. So I teach people how to do that.
And then the next chapter is called modify gracefully, because
a lot of times when you get old, you just can't.
I mean, being seventy three is not the same as
being thirty three, and so you know, if you've been
climbing mountains all your life, you might have to go
(18:50):
on long walks instead of you know, so how do
you make that modification gracefully? It's by using that same process.
How can I make this change easier? How can I
make it more rewarding? How can I make it more normal?
Because a lot of times when people need to change,
either physically or mentally as they get older, they do
it kind of kicking and screaming, and then it's painful
and uncomfortable, and everybody around them is telling you, you know,
(19:13):
you really probably should wind mountains anymore. So it's how
to take charge again, take control of your own life
and make that modification with grace. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And I got another visual. So we can't control the
ripple effect in the pond, but we can't choose the
stone we throw in.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Oh, you're good at that. That's exactly you can choose
the stone you throw in precisely.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, Because my dad will always say the bill you make,
you don't sleep in it, and no one's going to
trace spaces with you. It's your responsibility to do that.
So that's what I'm getting from these choices like, yeah,
I mean not be able to climb mountains, but I
can still move. Maybe I just walked a little bit longer,
(20:02):
and they think I just think about the mountains I
used to climb. But what I'm getting there is it's
easy to settle for what we think is the norm
because it's comfortable in that in that place. But it's
funny because if you get too comfortable, you start to
(20:22):
regret because you miss on the window opportunities in life
one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
And that and that's also to go back to the
beginning of our conversation, that's why it's so important to
have a clear vision for yourself because then you can
use it as kind of your north star. And if
you start to just like drift and get into an
unhappy place that's not working for you, you can go, well,
hold up, hold up, is this who I said I
wanted to be? Is this the kind of life I
said I want to have? Oh no, it's not. I
(20:49):
have a commitment to myself. I want to move, I
want to do that. I want to do what I
said I want to do.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
For those who are listening, watching watching Tup's radio talking
to our guests, Erica Anderson feels like, I just have
so much pressure. I don't know if I can go
for it or if I should just you know, a
place safe. What we say to people who they know
without doubt they want to do something else or they
(21:18):
want to try something different, but they just feel like
they're still scared to give it a shot.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
M My, hope. This doesn't feel like a cop but
I feel like I feel like this book would be
really helpful to you because it's all that it's kind
of like, Okay, how do you get clear about who
you really want to be, what will really bring you joy,
what will make you feel like you're the person you
want to be? Then how do you get charge of
(21:44):
your mindset so that you can't that negative voice in
your head can't talk you out of what you know
you want to do? And then how do you literally
get good at change? How do you help yourself go
through things and learn new things and modify gracefully. And
then the very last chapter in the book, and this
is helpful too, is about connection because it turns out that,
(22:06):
well this is not a surprise to most people, Connecting
with other human beings is absolutely essential to our physical
and emotional and mental well being. And unfortunately, when people
get old, a lot of times those connections free. You know,
their spouse might die, they're not connected with the people
they know at work anymore, their kids move away. So
(22:26):
I talk about how to reignite, how to make new
connections as you get old. And one of the great
things about main connections is you can connect with people
who don't have your same weaknesses, who kind of compliment you. So,
for instance, if you're somebody who is who finds yourself
getting stuck in your habits, getting stuck in your not
(22:47):
very comfortable comfort zone, then connect with somebody who doesn't
do that, and they can be a great example to you,
and you can talk to them about how they do it.
So connection helps us on so many levels. It's one
of them. It's really important to have models, like, for instance,
I give you a great example. I mean, I'm pretty
good at doing all this stuff, and I need models too.
(23:08):
So one of my friends in Spain is this wonderful woman, Pilar,
who's just about to turn ninety. Her ninetieth birthday is
next year. She's just awesome. She lives in her apartment,
she has all her friends, she takes classes in the
open University, she walks around the city. You know, I
look at her and I'm like, Okay, that's why i
want to be in sixteen years, you know. So it's
(23:29):
really helpful at any age, but especially when you get
old to see to have in your life people who
are living the kind of lives that you want to live.
Modeling is really important to us, as representation as any
kind of person is really important.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Once again, the Sungry focus is ready watching this online
talking to Erica, I understand. I want to add to that.
And that is not only as connection valuable, but I
really had to talk with a friend and the other
day about this, and that is you can be the
person that listens to radio or watching fairy TV program
(24:07):
whatever and say one day, poof, you don't see it
for whatever reason. You can either be mad, complain, worry
why is it not here? Why blah blah blah. Or
you can go through the channels or you've watching TV scroll.
(24:29):
I mean it's digital now, so it's like you can move.
It's what I'm getting that as well. It's why I'm
getting that. So the magic is the next move. Yes,
because we're so stuck sometimes on the past or the
violin I'm not happy. Well, what have you done about
(24:52):
it lately? Yeah, that's the bigger question. Or maybe just
start to ask yourself questions to find some.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Answers exactly, and you can overcome your fear. The one
little chapter in the book before I kind of get
started with the principles is called this is a little terrifying,
And it's because there is something terrifying about being old.
You're gonna die. You're going to die sooner than you've
already lived. You know, you have ten or twenty or
thirty years. You don't have one hundred years probably, And
(25:19):
so in that chapter I go through, Okay, so how
do you face your fears? So because a lot of
times people just they're afraid of things and they just
avoid looking at them. So it's really helpful to name it.
What am I afraid of? What's the worst that could
happen if this fear came to pass? Okay, what can
I do to work against that? And then do that?
(25:40):
I mean, you can be kind of practical about facing
your fears. And I think that's really helpful to know
because sometimes people get so overwhelmed by their fears. It
feels so terrifying and risky that they're just like, mentally
go into a cave, you know, but no, you can
face it and you can move through it.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Time doesn't wait for no one. That's what they say,
whether it's this show I have to land a plane,
or if it's getting older in life, time just keeps
going with or without us. So with that said, you're
watching us right now listening. Go get a copy of
book The New Old Crafting your Best Later Life and
talking to Erica Anderson. If people want to get this book,
(26:22):
what's the best website they can go to to learn
about your resources?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
They can get the book on Amazon or indie bound
or anywhere. It's for sale anywhere, and it's paperback, hardback
audio which I recorded Kindle, so they can get in
any format. And if they want to find out more
about me, they can just go to my website which
is Erica Anderson dot com. Easy.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Well do you have it? Once again be talking to
Erica Anderson. Like I always want to say, thank you
for your time.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Thank you so much. You're really good at this. This
was very fun. Thank you
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