June 20, 2023 • 25 mins
Kristina Smeriglio is a writer and editor who has always been fascinated by the complexities of the human experience. She strives to understand the roles of the mind and the heart, of the psyche and emotions, and so it has become the main theme of her work. Kristina focuses particularly on how the mind and our emotions are affected by our environment and experiences.
Kristina spends much of her time wondering about the human experience and exploring the age-old question, “why are we here?” She explored that same question and many others in her novel, Falling Into Fire, as she dove deep into The Garden of Earthly Delights, the painting by Hieronymus Bosch.
https://kristysmeriglio.com/
https://www.instagram.com/kristysmeriglio/
Falling Into Fire Book
Anyone you may ask will have a story about finding love, how difficult it was to attain, the pitfalls, the horrors of breakups, loneliness, and the doubts of self-worth that accompany such heartache. This story is based on true events, about a young woman, struggling with the rigors of her writing career coming face to face with the inner struggles she has kept hidden for most of her life. A fantasy exploration. An odyssey of the human condition, of her search for love, companionship, sex, and their meaning. All, while dealing with every aspect of her psyche, her heart, and possibly her very soul.
Falling Into Fire is a celebration of life, death, relationships, and the journey we each undergo in our individual pursuits to be loved.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/falling-into-fire-kristina-smeriglio/1139740396?ean=9781955281218
https://www.amazon.com/dp/195528122X
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-am-refocused-radio--2671113/support.
Kristina spends much of her time wondering about the human experience and exploring the age-old question, “why are we here?” She explored that same question and many others in her novel, Falling Into Fire, as she dove deep into The Garden of Earthly Delights, the painting by Hieronymus Bosch.
https://kristysmeriglio.com/
https://www.instagram.com/kristysmeriglio/
Falling Into Fire Book
Anyone you may ask will have a story about finding love, how difficult it was to attain, the pitfalls, the horrors of breakups, loneliness, and the doubts of self-worth that accompany such heartache. This story is based on true events, about a young woman, struggling with the rigors of her writing career coming face to face with the inner struggles she has kept hidden for most of her life. A fantasy exploration. An odyssey of the human condition, of her search for love, companionship, sex, and their meaning. All, while dealing with every aspect of her psyche, her heart, and possibly her very soul.
Falling Into Fire is a celebration of life, death, relationships, and the journey we each undergo in our individual pursuits to be loved.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/falling-into-fire-kristina-smeriglio/1139740396?ean=9781955281218
https://www.amazon.com/dp/195528122X
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/i-am-refocused-radio--2671113/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
You are listening to I Am RefocusedRadio with your host Shamaya Read. The
show was designed to inspire you tolive your purpose and regain your focus.
And now here's your host, ShamaiaRead. Hey, you welcome to Time
we Focus Radio. We are hereonce again. Today we have a special
(00:26):
guest talking to us today, awriter and editor, Christina smrig Leo.
And she let me practice that lastname a few times in the green room,
so I appreciare her patients. Shehas an awesome book that will be
discussing today, Falling into Fire,and they thought that was a pretty bold
statement title for a book. Waittill you hear a story. We're gonna
(00:48):
learn a little bit about her inher life and how she became a writer
and editor today and more so abouther book Falling into Fire and the story
behind that. So first and almostI want to say thank you christ for
your time. Are you doing?Thank you for having me SMA, It's
great to be here. I appreciateyou being honest. So kind of start
out with what caused you to wantto pursue the career in writing being an
(01:12):
editor and how you came across writingthis piece of Falling into fire. Thank
you. So writing has always beenthere for me as a medium to express
myself, but to be honest,it wasn't my first choice for a career.
You know, I kind of exploreda lot of other fields before I
(01:34):
came to this, But it reallywas amazing how it became a writer because
what I found that I really lovedto do was understanding people, helping people.
I really wanted to know why peoplewere the way they were, why
did they do the things they do, say the things they say. So
naturally, I pursued a career inpsychology. That's what I began to study,
(01:57):
and I actually got my bachelor's andecology. But then when it came
time to choose a graduate program,which is something I knew I always wanted
to do, I started thinking about, Okay, there's different programs in psychology,
different fields, and I knew thatI wanted to help people that had
gone through similar experiences that I had, particularly with issues of identity, of
(02:23):
abuse, you know, all relatedmatters of mental health that tend to happen
as we're growing up and we're formingthese connections with each other. But when
it came time to choose a program, I couldn't find one that I liked,
and honestly, I did some soulsearching, and at that very moment,
(02:44):
it was difficult for me to thinkabout sitting in an office and hearing
other people's stories all day long.And I realized if I couldn't be able
to do that, that I hada lot of feelings still love to do
so. But I still wanted tohelp people, even regardless of where I
(03:05):
was at. So I, likeI said, I did some soul searching,
and I thought about how writing usedto be a medium for me growing
up, and it was a wayfor me to express my feelings and process
what I was going through. SoI ended up pursuing a master's in writing,
and in that program, when Iwas writing my master's thesis, I
(03:29):
actually even before that, in myfiction writing workshop, this story, the
story that later became Falling into Fire, started to form. And I truly
believe it started to form because therewas a huge part of me that,
like I said, wanted to firmlyheal and heal in a way that I
would allow me to help others.Right, So I turned it into my
(03:52):
master's thesis, and eventually it turnedinto Falling into Fire. And what I
love about this piece was that itreally was a way for me to merge
my interest in psychology with my lovefor writing, and it was a way
for me to truly overcome some reallyhardcore experience life and present them in a
(04:15):
way so that others may read itand heal and go on their own journeys.
So that's kind of how I becameto be a writer. And although
I write many things, this issomething that is very important to me because
I feel like the message in ourhearts, whatever it may be, whether
it's a healing journey, whether it'salready in a place of empowerment, and
(04:39):
you want to share your message,that's what I love to help people discover.
So I did it first with myself, and as an editor, I
love to do it with others thatthey may share their truth as well.
Listen Focused Radio talking to our guestsChristina's my Regulio and her book Falling into
Fire. He said, a prettynice So when it comes to the book
(05:01):
title falling into Fire into Fire,how did you come up with this and
what was the focal point of thestory in this book? So the title
falling into Fire came about when Iturned my masters thesis into a novel.
So originally my thesis was titled Hallowedbe Thy Fall, and I did love
(05:26):
that title. I feel like itwas very appropriate when it was my master
thesis, but in turning it intoa novel and speaking to my editor,
you know, we tried to picka title that honed in on the message
even more. And falling was adefinitely a focal point for my story because
(05:48):
this character falls over and over again, not only just falling in the sense
of tripping over experiences in life andstruggling, but it was also a fall
very deep into these recesses of themind, into these patterns that were there
that she needed to discover. Sothere was an actual external sense of falling,
(06:12):
and then there was the internal senseof falling into this I wantest a
pit of despair. To be honest, she really ended up in this deep,
dark place, which is where sheneeded to be in order to overcome.
And the fire aspect, not onlyis there literal fire elements in the
story, the element of fire isa great symbol for transformation, of deconstruction
(06:39):
and rebuilding, and it's a symbolthat I've always embraced and loved because of
this power that it has for thatsense of transformation, which I thought was
appropriate for this story. So weended up coming up with the title Falling
into Fire, And to be honest, I loved it. I loved what
(06:59):
it was knows my master's thesis.But when I truly embraced what it meant
to be falling into Fire and Iwrote it as a novel, I truly
fell in love with my title,and I thought it was, like I
said, an appropriate title. Andthe focal point really is that it's overcoming
(07:20):
these intense experiences in life, theseintense truths about ourselves, what we have
come to know about our experiences,what we have come to know about ourselves,
our relationships with others. It's comingto the truth of a lot of
our experiences and overcoming these very darkexperiences in our lives in order to come
(07:48):
on the other side empowered. Sothat's really the focal point there for my
main character who confronts these experiences inthe setting that is the Garden for Three
Delights, right, So it's kindof set against this fantastical setting, and
through that setting she's able to explorethese parts of herself and overcome them.
(08:11):
In the book when you mentioned herbeing in a dark place and how that
was necessary for her personal transformation andovercoming challenges. When someone is reading this
book, I'm sure they might bepitching themselves in some similar situations, because
(08:31):
we all have our dark storms thatjust kind of happened in life. But
to your point, they're kind ofnecessary for us to experience that fullness of
transformation. Ellab very a little bitmore on that for our listeners, and
how that such a pitiful moment forthe character. Yeah. So, actually,
(08:52):
even in the writing of it itself, I set the story in first
person for that reason. Not onlydid it help me write the story in
a more honest way and immerse myselfin it, but I want the reader
to embrace this character. Now,the person reading the story may not have
gone through what my main character wentthrough specifically, but by embracing it,
(09:18):
they're able to kind of follow thistype of journey. And the reason I
have the character go to such adeep part of it and a part of
herself is because, like I saidearlier, and like you mentioned, there
does need to be some sense ofa confrontation with her darkness in order to
(09:39):
look at it. For all thatit is right. So if I was
to just look at my experiences onthe surface and be like, Okay,
that was bad, I want toescape it, my healing is only going
to reach potentially a very superficial levelright now, if I go deep into
it, if I take a lookat it, if I see what was
(10:00):
happening from all sides, if Isee how it impacted me in the different
areas of my life, I canbegin to understand why certain things were happening,
why I was feeling a certain wayabout certain dynamics with people, you
know, at the end of theday, even not even so much the
(10:22):
actual experience itself, but it's whatI took away from it, right It's
the filters that caused me to seecertain things a certain way, to feel
a certain way. If I wasn'table to get to the dark place to
confront that, I would probably justwrite it off and move on with my
life, and then potentially similar patternswould emerge in relationships, which is what
(10:43):
was happening to me. A lotof the same things kept happening to me,
and I started to think, youknow, is it something that I'm
doing, Is it something that I'msaying? You know people would give their
advice, but at the end ofthe day, it wasn't about that.
I had to just go to thosemoments, go to how I was feeling
about and just cater to myself,nurture myself, and just sit with that
(11:09):
pain for a while, you know, have a conversation with it. And
by doing that, by taking thattime to take care of myself and look
at things holistically, I was ableto overcome. And so I think that
that's a pivotal part of healing,is not being afraid to look at our
experiences as much as they hurt us. I feel like it is important to
(11:33):
take a look at those experiences.Yes, we have to be mindful and
have compassion with ourselves if it's alittle difficult to do that, And that's
something that happened to me. Iwas writing the story, some scenes and
some topics were very difficult for meto write about because I was still being
hurt by them. But that wasall the more opportunity for me to take
a look at them so then Ican translate it into the story. So
(11:58):
I feel like it's a great opportunityfor us to get to know ourselves and
overcome anything that may be holding usback. So in this book for our
audience to get a great picture ofwhat this book is all about. Is
a story about finding love and howdifficult it was to attain, the pitfalls
and the horrors of breakups, learnlinessand the doubts of self worth, etc.
(12:24):
So when you're writing, you're writingthis based on true life experiences as
a young woman, kind of diveinto that section for the audience and how
those real life experiences help you getthat message across. Reflecting on my personal
experiences and really taking them on asI was writing the story, it really
(12:48):
helped me to see and embrace howuniversal a lot of these experiences are.
Because even when I allowed my maincharacter Preal to show me what was happening
to her and it triggered me andthese experiences I had gone through, it
really was a way for me toallow the audience to feel like they're not
(13:16):
alone. You know, if Ididn't talk about my personal experiences, I
wouldn't have been able to go asdeep into the story as I did.
I wanted to be vulnerable. Iwanted to air on my dirty laundry,
so to speak, in a waythat allowed the reader to know that anything
(13:37):
can happen. Even though this wasa fantasy story, it does mirror my
life. And I did that intentionallybecause I wanted others who had gone through
similar experiences, or who knew peoplehad gone through similar experiences, be able
to find that healing for themselves.And I knew that that needed to happen
and could only happen if I channeledmy very personal experiences. And people can
(14:03):
get this book on Amazon anywhere theycan find a book, Fall into Fire.
We're talking to Christinians Smerculio and allabout her book Fall into Fire.
This is important because so many peopleI just talk to guests earlier today about
sometimes you just really gout zone inwhere you're at, you know, like,
(14:26):
what are you feeling, what areyou're going through, and acknowledge that
because sometimes we try to perform forother people in other words, like we
want to please other people and putthis mask on what they approve, and
we don't want to really show whowe are because we're afraid of being rejected
or we're afraid of not being listenedto. So when you wrote this book,
(14:50):
it's part of you make sure thatmask is not all you're giving your
authentic self for people to really feelwhat you bill and those true life events.
Absolutely, and I appreciate you bringingthat up because that was part of
my task. You know, itwas really allowing myself to be that vulnerable.
(15:13):
And even though I knew that thepeople around me would they should they
read this book, I knew theywere going to be able to put two
and two together. They were goingto understand what it was that I was
talking about. Even if this isa fantasy story, like I said,
since these thoughts mirror my own,these experiences are reflective of what I went
(15:35):
through. People were going to putthem together. They were going to have
certain beliefs about me. And tobe honest, I thought about it,
I'm like, you know what theseexperiences happened to me? Who cares what
anybody knows? In fact, hadthey known sooner, maybe things could have
been different. And even though Iam no longer so hurt by the way
(15:56):
things happened for me, you know, I on this medium and I feel
like it can help others other people. Nobody should hide what they are going
through. You know, if theyare going through something, they should be
able to open up about it.They should be able to be vulnerable about
it, and the only way todo it is if you remove the mask.
(16:18):
So I feel like I had todo this, and to be honest,
it doesn't even matter what anybody thinksabout me, because these experiences were
real. They happened to me,regardless of a fantasy. You know,
I stated they're in the introduction likeyou know, this is my story and
I'm sharing with it now. Atthe end of the day, everybody as
(16:40):
a writer, it's a piece ofthem in that book, no matter how
it takes form. And with thisstory in particular, I had to take
off the mask in order to showthe side of myself and my experience.
And again, the only way Iwas able to truly heal was removing that
mask. So I feel that anybodygoes through a similar journey, whether or
(17:02):
not they shared in a public forum, you know, like I did here
in writing a book, they doneed to take off that mask, and
it's a very essential part of healingis taking a real honest look at themselves.
Once again, listening, I'll beFocus Radio talking to our guests today.
Christina's Maurculio and you as a writerand as there you also have a
(17:23):
pretty cool blog that people can checkout. I mean, you were talking
about being vulnerable. We're talking aboutbeing yourself. And then we live in
the world where a lot of peoplefeel like they have to have a filter
for selfies and just have this mask. And I had to act a certain
way with this crowd and with thatcrowd to not fan people or do not
feel like I'm you know, appreciatedfrom our uniqueness. When you write these
(17:48):
blogs and you you are a rightof yourself and as a creative doing that,
why is it so important for youand for others who might be listening
this to share their gifts and talentsand put themselves out there and not be
afraid about how people will receive it. I feel like we are here to
(18:11):
share the truth of who we are, regardless of how people receive it.
Everybody is born with individual qualities,and I feel like when we hide those
qualities, we are doing a hugedisservice to who we are. And as
someone who hid for a very longtime, it's interesting because I've always been
an advocate for truth, you know. I always needed to be honest and
(18:34):
I wanted to share myself for along time. When these experiences were happening
to me. I was so rejectedor told oh your life isn't bad,
you know, And I was silencedso much that I did I began to
hide. And having seen the woundsthat built because of it, I you
know, I now know more thanever how important it is to be open
(18:56):
about whatever's going on with us.At the end of the day, the
only way we can help each otheris by being open and being honest.
Just creating this filter, to me, doesn't allow for the true value of
who you are to come through.You know. If me, as a
writer, if I pursue another professionthat has nothing to do with my talents,
(19:19):
I'm now hurting myself and I'm alsohurting the person who has the talent,
right, I feel like we allneed to be honest with ourselves with
the talents we have been given andwhat we are called to pursue, because
that's how we're really going to find, you know, meaning and fulfillment in
this life. And at the endof the day, like, if we're
(19:40):
not being true to who we are, like what are we doing? You
know? So I feel like inthe blogs that I write, even just
exploring any kind of thoughts I mayhave, which is what my blog tends
to be. You know. It'sthe stream of consciousness about certain topics,
you know, very philosophical, veryexistential, and trying to understand certain experience
in life. Much like my book, I feel like these are things that
(20:06):
we should all be doing. Thissense of having awareness of our life,
having mindfulness and our experiences and beingpresent is our way to have a full
life, not just wandering aimlessly aboutin our days. You know, in
my story, I kind of talkabout, you know, very lightly,
I touch upon feeling the sense ofbeing lost. Right that's kind of like
(20:30):
where I'm at. I feel lost, I don't know what to do,
and you can see my characters aimlesswanderings, right Like, she has no
direction in her life, and ithas a huge part to do with not
having a clear picture as to whoshe is and what her experiences have been.
(20:52):
She has a pretty strong sense ofself, she knows what she wants,
right Like, there was some direction, but there was a lot to
still be uncovered. Right So,I feel like by being mindful and exploring
her life the way that she doesin the story, she was able to
get to know herself at a deeplevel. This is something that I've always
done in my life and I aimto do on a regular basis because I
(21:15):
know that's how I'm going to havethat full life and have that sense of
direction and know what it is I'msupposed to be doing by being present and
hyper aware of my experiences how theymake me feel. Otherwise, we're kind
of just acting and reacting, andto me, I have always made it
a point to understand my reactions,whether they are positive negative. However we
(21:40):
identify it just being mindful of thosecharacteristics as to who I am and if
it's something that's getting in the wayof being successful. You know, I
confronted right like I did in thatbook. So my blog is very similar.
Obviously, it's coming from me directly, right like the fantasy see fiction
story, I sort of take onthis avatar that is my protagonist Priella.
(22:04):
In my blog, it's just directingme, but it is very similar.
I feel that this is something thateveryone should be able to do, regardless
of if they shared in writing ornot. I like to encourage people to
be active participants in their lives.We're talking to our guests Christianus Maurculio,
(22:25):
and when you look at the factthat you not only have your Masters of
Arts and writing, but you alsohave your bachelors of Arts and psychology.
How has the study of psychology helpedcontribute to just your writing style completely?
I would say, and honestly mylicense in neur linguistic programming as well.
(22:48):
Having this sort of psychological lens andthis ability to look at the workings of
the minds help me be able towrite this story right. So having my
masters and writing gave me the technicalaspects of how to write, and then
I pair it with my bachelors inpsychology, which allows me to see the
(23:08):
intricacies of the character, to seehow they develop, what's her mindset,
why is she doing the things thatshe's doing, and sort of these therapeutic
techniques right, which I also learnedwith NLP. I was able to uncover
a lot that I may not havebeen able to without this background. So
(23:30):
it does it reflects in my stylequite heavily. I believe. I asked
a lot of questions, I havea lot of reflections, and I do
think it is heavily inspired by thefact that I have this psychological the psychology
background, and that is a majorinterest of mine. So I would say
very heavily. Well, with thatsaid, I want to say, man,
(23:52):
time flies by when you have agood conversation. Been talking to our
guest today, Christina Smtriglio, andyou can definitely go to a website Christie.
Yeah, Christie smiglio dot COM's thewebsite short for Christina. Want to
say thanks again for you taking anytime talking to us, and what's the
(24:12):
best call of action you have forour listeners? The best call of action?
Honestly, I would say, whatever'sinside of you, share it.
I really I want people to beeverything that they are and to share the
truth of who they are. Andif you ever need help sharing what's inside
(24:33):
of you, I'm here for you. As someone who has done it themselves
and been a product of that transformation, I'm always going to suggest that other
people take the chance on themselves,get to know themselves and allow the truth
of who they are to shine bright. Well once again, go visit her
website is Christie smiglio dot com.And man, want to say thanks for
(24:57):
taking time talking to us and keepdoing what you do. Thank you so
much, Tomai, I really appreciateit.
You are listening to I Am RefocusedRadio with your host Shamaya Read. The
show was designed to inspire you tolive your purpose and regain your focus.
And now here's your host, ShamaiaRead. Hey, you welcome to Time
we Focus Radio. We are hereonce again. Today we have a special
(00:26):
guest talking to us today, awriter and editor, Christina smrig Leo.
And she let me practice that lastname a few times in the green room,
so I appreciare her patients. Shehas an awesome book that will be
discussing today, Falling into Fire,and they thought that was a pretty bold
statement title for a book. Waittill you hear a story. We're gonna
(00:48):
learn a little bit about her inher life and how she became a writer
and editor today and more so abouther book Falling into Fire and the story
behind that. So first and almostI want to say thank you christ for
your time. Are you doing?Thank you for having me SMA, It's
great to be here. I appreciateyou being honest. So kind of start
out with what caused you to wantto pursue the career in writing being an
(01:12):
editor and how you came across writingthis piece of Falling into fire. Thank
you. So writing has always beenthere for me as a medium to express
myself, but to be honest,it wasn't my first choice for a career.
You know, I kind of exploreda lot of other fields before I
(01:34):
came to this, But it reallywas amazing how it became a writer because
what I found that I really lovedto do was understanding people, helping people.
I really wanted to know why peoplewere the way they were, why
did they do the things they do, say the things they say. So
naturally, I pursued a career inpsychology. That's what I began to study,
(01:57):
and I actually got my bachelor's andecology. But then when it came
time to choose a graduate program,which is something I knew I always wanted
to do, I started thinking about, Okay, there's different programs in psychology,
different fields, and I knew thatI wanted to help people that had
gone through similar experiences that I had, particularly with issues of identity, of
(02:23):
abuse, you know, all relatedmatters of mental health that tend to happen
as we're growing up and we're formingthese connections with each other. But when
it came time to choose a program, I couldn't find one that I liked,
and honestly, I did some soulsearching, and at that very moment,
(02:44):
it was difficult for me to thinkabout sitting in an office and hearing
other people's stories all day long.And I realized if I couldn't be able
to do that, that I hada lot of feelings still love to do
so. But I still wanted tohelp people, even regardless of where I
(03:05):
was at. So I, likeI said, I did some soul searching,
and I thought about how writing usedto be a medium for me growing
up, and it was a wayfor me to express my feelings and process
what I was going through. SoI ended up pursuing a master's in writing,
and in that program, when Iwas writing my master's thesis, I
(03:29):
actually even before that, in myfiction writing workshop, this story, the
story that later became Falling into Fire, started to form. And I truly
believe it started to form because therewas a huge part of me that,
like I said, wanted to firmlyheal and heal in a way that I
would allow me to help others.Right, So I turned it into my
(03:52):
master's thesis, and eventually it turnedinto Falling into Fire. And what I
love about this piece was that itreally was a way for me to merge
my interest in psychology with my lovefor writing, and it was a way
for me to truly overcome some reallyhardcore experience life and present them in a
(04:15):
way so that others may read itand heal and go on their own journeys.
So that's kind of how I becameto be a writer. And although
I write many things, this issomething that is very important to me because
I feel like the message in ourhearts, whatever it may be, whether
it's a healing journey, whether it'salready in a place of empowerment, and
(04:39):
you want to share your message,that's what I love to help people discover.
So I did it first with myself, and as an editor, I
love to do it with others thatthey may share their truth as well.
Listen Focused Radio talking to our guestsChristina's my Regulio and her book Falling into
Fire. He said, a prettynice So when it comes to the book
(05:01):
title falling into Fire into Fire,how did you come up with this and
what was the focal point of thestory in this book? So the title
falling into Fire came about when Iturned my masters thesis into a novel.
So originally my thesis was titled Hallowedbe Thy Fall, and I did love
(05:26):
that title. I feel like itwas very appropriate when it was my master
thesis, but in turning it intoa novel and speaking to my editor,
you know, we tried to picka title that honed in on the message
even more. And falling was adefinitely a focal point for my story because
(05:48):
this character falls over and over again, not only just falling in the sense
of tripping over experiences in life andstruggling, but it was also a fall
very deep into these recesses of themind, into these patterns that were there
that she needed to discover. Sothere was an actual external sense of falling,
(06:12):
and then there was the internal senseof falling into this I wantest a
pit of despair. To be honest, she really ended up in this deep,
dark place, which is where sheneeded to be in order to overcome.
And the fire aspect, not onlyis there literal fire elements in the
story, the element of fire isa great symbol for transformation, of deconstruction
(06:39):
and rebuilding, and it's a symbolthat I've always embraced and loved because of
this power that it has for thatsense of transformation, which I thought was
appropriate for this story. So weended up coming up with the title Falling
into Fire, And to be honest, I loved it. I loved what
(06:59):
it was knows my master's thesis.But when I truly embraced what it meant
to be falling into Fire and Iwrote it as a novel, I truly
fell in love with my title,and I thought it was, like I
said, an appropriate title. Andthe focal point really is that it's overcoming
(07:20):
these intense experiences in life, theseintense truths about ourselves, what we have
come to know about our experiences,what we have come to know about ourselves,
our relationships with others. It's comingto the truth of a lot of
our experiences and overcoming these very darkexperiences in our lives in order to come
(07:48):
on the other side empowered. Sothat's really the focal point there for my
main character who confronts these experiences inthe setting that is the Garden for Three
Delights, right, So it's kindof set against this fantastical setting, and
through that setting she's able to explorethese parts of herself and overcome them.
(08:11):
In the book when you mentioned herbeing in a dark place and how that
was necessary for her personal transformation andovercoming challenges. When someone is reading this
book, I'm sure they might bepitching themselves in some similar situations, because
(08:31):
we all have our dark storms thatjust kind of happened in life. But
to your point, they're kind ofnecessary for us to experience that fullness of
transformation. Ellab very a little bitmore on that for our listeners, and
how that such a pitiful moment forthe character. Yeah. So, actually,
(08:52):
even in the writing of it itself, I set the story in first
person for that reason. Not onlydid it help me write the story in
a more honest way and immerse myselfin it, but I want the reader
to embrace this character. Now,the person reading the story may not have
gone through what my main character wentthrough specifically, but by embracing it,
(09:18):
they're able to kind of follow thistype of journey. And the reason I
have the character go to such adeep part of it and a part of
herself is because, like I saidearlier, and like you mentioned, there
does need to be some sense ofa confrontation with her darkness in order to
(09:39):
look at it. For all thatit is right. So if I was
to just look at my experiences onthe surface and be like, Okay,
that was bad, I want toescape it, my healing is only going
to reach potentially a very superficial levelright now, if I go deep into
it, if I take a lookat it, if I see what was
(10:00):
happening from all sides, if Isee how it impacted me in the different
areas of my life, I canbegin to understand why certain things were happening,
why I was feeling a certain wayabout certain dynamics with people, you
know, at the end of theday, even not even so much the
(10:22):
actual experience itself, but it's whatI took away from it, right It's
the filters that caused me to seecertain things a certain way, to feel
a certain way. If I wasn'table to get to the dark place to
confront that, I would probably justwrite it off and move on with my
life, and then potentially similar patternswould emerge in relationships, which is what
(10:43):
was happening to me. A lotof the same things kept happening to me,
and I started to think, youknow, is it something that I'm
doing, Is it something that I'msaying? You know people would give their
advice, but at the end ofthe day, it wasn't about that.
I had to just go to thosemoments, go to how I was feeling
about and just cater to myself,nurture myself, and just sit with that
(11:09):
pain for a while, you know, have a conversation with it. And
by doing that, by taking thattime to take care of myself and look
at things holistically, I was ableto overcome. And so I think that
that's a pivotal part of healing,is not being afraid to look at our
experiences as much as they hurt us. I feel like it is important to
(11:33):
take a look at those experiences.Yes, we have to be mindful and
have compassion with ourselves if it's alittle difficult to do that, And that's
something that happened to me. Iwas writing the story, some scenes and
some topics were very difficult for meto write about because I was still being
hurt by them. But that wasall the more opportunity for me to take
a look at them so then Ican translate it into the story. So
(11:58):
I feel like it's a great opportunityfor us to get to know ourselves and
overcome anything that may be holding usback. So in this book for our
audience to get a great picture ofwhat this book is all about. Is
a story about finding love and howdifficult it was to attain, the pitfalls
and the horrors of breakups, learnlinessand the doubts of self worth, etc.
(12:24):
So when you're writing, you're writingthis based on true life experiences as
a young woman, kind of diveinto that section for the audience and how
those real life experiences help you getthat message across. Reflecting on my personal
experiences and really taking them on asI was writing the story, it really
(12:48):
helped me to see and embrace howuniversal a lot of these experiences are.
Because even when I allowed my maincharacter Preal to show me what was happening
to her and it triggered me andthese experiences I had gone through, it
really was a way for me toallow the audience to feel like they're not
(13:16):
alone. You know, if Ididn't talk about my personal experiences, I
wouldn't have been able to go asdeep into the story as I did.
I wanted to be vulnerable. Iwanted to air on my dirty laundry,
so to speak, in a waythat allowed the reader to know that anything
(13:37):
can happen. Even though this wasa fantasy story, it does mirror my
life. And I did that intentionallybecause I wanted others who had gone through
similar experiences, or who knew peoplehad gone through similar experiences, be able
to find that healing for themselves.And I knew that that needed to happen
and could only happen if I channeledmy very personal experiences. And people can
(14:03):
get this book on Amazon anywhere theycan find a book, Fall into Fire.
We're talking to Christinians Smerculio and allabout her book Fall into Fire.
This is important because so many peopleI just talk to guests earlier today about
sometimes you just really gout zone inwhere you're at, you know, like,
(14:26):
what are you feeling, what areyou're going through, and acknowledge that
because sometimes we try to perform forother people in other words, like we
want to please other people and putthis mask on what they approve, and
we don't want to really show whowe are because we're afraid of being rejected
or we're afraid of not being listenedto. So when you wrote this book,
(14:50):
it's part of you make sure thatmask is not all you're giving your
authentic self for people to really feelwhat you bill and those true life events.
Absolutely, and I appreciate you bringingthat up because that was part of
my task. You know, itwas really allowing myself to be that vulnerable.
(15:13):
And even though I knew that thepeople around me would they should they
read this book, I knew theywere going to be able to put two
and two together. They were goingto understand what it was that I was
talking about. Even if this isa fantasy story, like I said,
since these thoughts mirror my own,these experiences are reflective of what I went
(15:35):
through. People were going to putthem together. They were going to have
certain beliefs about me. And tobe honest, I thought about it,
I'm like, you know what theseexperiences happened to me? Who cares what
anybody knows? In fact, hadthey known sooner, maybe things could have
been different. And even though Iam no longer so hurt by the way
(15:56):
things happened for me, you know, I on this medium and I feel
like it can help others other people. Nobody should hide what they are going
through. You know, if theyare going through something, they should be
able to open up about it.They should be able to be vulnerable about
it, and the only way todo it is if you remove the mask.
(16:18):
So I feel like I had todo this, and to be honest,
it doesn't even matter what anybody thinksabout me, because these experiences were
real. They happened to me,regardless of a fantasy. You know,
I stated they're in the introduction likeyou know, this is my story and
I'm sharing with it now. Atthe end of the day, everybody as
(16:40):
a writer, it's a piece ofthem in that book, no matter how
it takes form. And with thisstory in particular, I had to take
off the mask in order to showthe side of myself and my experience.
And again, the only way Iwas able to truly heal was removing that
mask. So I feel that anybodygoes through a similar journey, whether or
(17:02):
not they shared in a public forum, you know, like I did here
in writing a book, they doneed to take off that mask, and
it's a very essential part of healingis taking a real honest look at themselves.
Once again, listening, I'll beFocus Radio talking to our guests today.
Christina's Maurculio and you as a writerand as there you also have a
(17:23):
pretty cool blog that people can checkout. I mean, you were talking
about being vulnerable. We're talking aboutbeing yourself. And then we live in
the world where a lot of peoplefeel like they have to have a filter
for selfies and just have this mask. And I had to act a certain
way with this crowd and with thatcrowd to not fan people or do not
feel like I'm you know, appreciatedfrom our uniqueness. When you write these
(17:48):
blogs and you you are a rightof yourself and as a creative doing that,
why is it so important for youand for others who might be listening
this to share their gifts and talentsand put themselves out there and not be
afraid about how people will receive it. I feel like we are here to
(18:11):
share the truth of who we are, regardless of how people receive it.
Everybody is born with individual qualities,and I feel like when we hide those
qualities, we are doing a hugedisservice to who we are. And as
someone who hid for a very longtime, it's interesting because I've always been
an advocate for truth, you know. I always needed to be honest and
(18:34):
I wanted to share myself for along time. When these experiences were happening
to me. I was so rejectedor told oh your life isn't bad,
you know, And I was silencedso much that I did I began to
hide. And having seen the woundsthat built because of it, I you
know, I now know more thanever how important it is to be open
(18:56):
about whatever's going on with us.At the end of the day, the
only way we can help each otheris by being open and being honest.
Just creating this filter, to me, doesn't allow for the true value of
who you are to come through.You know. If me, as a
writer, if I pursue another professionthat has nothing to do with my talents,
(19:19):
I'm now hurting myself and I'm alsohurting the person who has the talent,
right, I feel like we allneed to be honest with ourselves with
the talents we have been given andwhat we are called to pursue, because
that's how we're really going to find, you know, meaning and fulfillment in
this life. And at the endof the day, like, if we're
(19:40):
not being true to who we are, like what are we doing? You
know? So I feel like inthe blogs that I write, even just
exploring any kind of thoughts I mayhave, which is what my blog tends
to be. You know. It'sthe stream of consciousness about certain topics,
you know, very philosophical, veryexistential, and trying to understand certain experience
in life. Much like my book, I feel like these are things that
(20:06):
we should all be doing. Thissense of having awareness of our life,
having mindfulness and our experiences and beingpresent is our way to have a full
life, not just wandering aimlessly aboutin our days. You know, in
my story, I kind of talkabout, you know, very lightly,
I touch upon feeling the sense ofbeing lost. Right that's kind of like
(20:30):
where I'm at. I feel lost, I don't know what to do,
and you can see my characters aimlesswanderings, right Like, she has no
direction in her life, and ithas a huge part to do with not
having a clear picture as to whoshe is and what her experiences have been.
(20:52):
She has a pretty strong sense ofself, she knows what she wants,
right Like, there was some direction, but there was a lot to
still be uncovered. Right So,I feel like by being mindful and exploring
her life the way that she doesin the story, she was able to
get to know herself at a deeplevel. This is something that I've always
done in my life and I aimto do on a regular basis because I
(21:15):
know that's how I'm going to havethat full life and have that sense of
direction and know what it is I'msupposed to be doing by being present and
hyper aware of my experiences how theymake me feel. Otherwise, we're kind
of just acting and reacting, andto me, I have always made it
a point to understand my reactions,whether they are positive negative. However we
(21:40):
identify it just being mindful of thosecharacteristics as to who I am and if
it's something that's getting in the wayof being successful. You know, I
confronted right like I did in thatbook. So my blog is very similar.
Obviously, it's coming from me directly, right like the fantasy see fiction
story, I sort of take onthis avatar that is my protagonist Priella.
(22:04):
In my blog, it's just directingme, but it is very similar.
I feel that this is something thateveryone should be able to do, regardless
of if they shared in writing ornot. I like to encourage people to
be active participants in their lives.We're talking to our guests Christianus Maurculio,
(22:25):
and when you look at the factthat you not only have your Masters of
Arts and writing, but you alsohave your bachelors of Arts and psychology.
How has the study of psychology helpedcontribute to just your writing style completely?
I would say, and honestly mylicense in neur linguistic programming as well.
(22:48):
Having this sort of psychological lens andthis ability to look at the workings of
the minds help me be able towrite this story right. So having my
masters and writing gave me the technicalaspects of how to write, and then
I pair it with my bachelors inpsychology, which allows me to see the
(23:08):
intricacies of the character, to seehow they develop, what's her mindset,
why is she doing the things thatshe's doing, and sort of these therapeutic
techniques right, which I also learnedwith NLP. I was able to uncover
a lot that I may not havebeen able to without this background. So
(23:30):
it does it reflects in my stylequite heavily. I believe. I asked
a lot of questions, I havea lot of reflections, and I do
think it is heavily inspired by thefact that I have this psychological the psychology
background, and that is a majorinterest of mine. So I would say
very heavily. Well, with thatsaid, I want to say, man,
(23:52):
time flies by when you have agood conversation. Been talking to our
guest today, Christina Smtriglio, andyou can definitely go to a website Christie.
Yeah, Christie smiglio dot COM's thewebsite short for Christina. Want to
say thanks again for you taking anytime talking to us, and what's the
(24:12):
best call of action you have forour listeners? The best call of action?
Honestly, I would say, whatever'sinside of you, share it.
I really I want people to beeverything that they are and to share the
truth of who they are. Andif you ever need help sharing what's inside
(24:33):
of you, I'm here for you. As someone who has done it themselves
and been a product of that transformation, I'm always going to suggest that other
people take the chance on themselves,get to know themselves and allow the truth
of who they are to shine bright. Well once again, go visit her
website is Christie smiglio dot com.And man, want to say thanks for
(24:57):
taking time talking to us and keepdoing what you do. Thank you so
much, Tomai, I really appreciateit.
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