January 4, 2024 • 21 mins
In the kickoff episode of ideamix's "Coaching, Performance, and Wellness" series for 2024, hosts Sam Jayanti and Jamie Kosmar explore the intricate connections between coaching, performance, and wellness. Dispelling myths, they discuss the role of coaching as a proactive thought partnership, akin to a doctor's visit for your life goals. Through practical examples, they dissect the coaching process, emphasizing its transformative impact on self-awareness, goal setting, and behavior change. Tune in to discover how coaching can unlock your best self, providing a replicable roadmap for continuous personal and professional growth.
Subscribe to ideamix - Coaching, Performance, and Wellness, and stay tuned for new episodes every other Thursday. On ideamix podcasts, we speak with innovators and coaches to help you build the life, business, and career you want. ideamix is the go-to destination for individuals to find their ideal coach. Check out our website at www.theideamix.com. For comments, questions, podcast guest ideas, or sponsorship inquiries, please email info@theideamix.com.
Subscribe to ideamix - Coaching, Performance, and Wellness, and stay tuned for new episodes every other Thursday. On ideamix podcasts, we speak with innovators and coaches to help you build the life, business, and career you want. ideamix is the go-to destination for individuals to find their ideal coach. Check out our website at www.theideamix.com. For comments, questions, podcast guest ideas, or sponsorship inquiries, please email info@theideamix.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Welcome to Idemics Performance and Wellness,where world leading coaches and scientists explain how
their research can help you achieve yourpersonal and professional goals. Foster hi It's
Sanjayanti, co founder and CEO ofIdemics Coaching. Coaching has played an important
role in my life. It's helpedme through my journey to become a powerful
(00:24):
leader, mother and wife. IDMXcoaches help you increase your self awareness,
improve your problem solving skills, andevolve your habits to achieve your goals,
all things I'm grateful to have learnedand done through my own coaching journey.
Our easy one minute assessment matches youwith an Idemics coach that best fits your
needs and values. Each Idemics coachis vetted and experienced. It helps clients
(00:46):
mad and achieve their wellness, professionaland business goals. If you are someone
you know could benefit from coaching,visit our website at www dotidemics dot com.
We also know that not everyone caninvest in coaching right now, and
that's why we provide free coaching inour Coach short episodes. If you think
someone you know would benefit from it, please share our podcast with them.
(01:07):
Thanks for listening and see you nexttime. Welcome to our first episode in
our Coaching, Performance and Wellness seriesin twenty twenty four. In these episodes,
Jamie and I will tackle various topicsin coaching, performance and wellness to
break them down. To kick usoff, we're going to talk today about
(01:30):
the connection between those three topics.We throw those words around a lot,
and the connections sometimes aren't always selfevident. To kick us off, We're
going to go through five rapid firequestions. Yes or no answers only allowed.
So Number one, is coaching onlyremedial? No? Okay? Is
(01:53):
coaching the same as therapy? No? Is life coaching the only time of
coaching? No? Can I getcoaching that will help me in my career?
Absolutely? And is coaching just forsports and fitness? And no?
(02:14):
Excellent? Great. So let's startby talking about, as you were saying,
this connection between performance and wellness andcoaching, and let's talk about what
are those ties? How is coachingconnective performance and wellness generally? Big picture?
So I think the three are soclosely intertwined in my mind, and
(02:39):
maybe the best analogy that comes tomy mind to explain this is when any
of us thinks about our health andgoes to a doctor. We don't just
go to a doctor when we havea problem. We do that too,
but we also go to a doctorto get a health check, to talk
(03:00):
through where we are, what problemswe might be experiencing, and the doctor
acts as a thought partner to usin helping us both analyze and understand our
own goals for ourselves and then creatinga roadmap to get there. So and
(03:21):
in the medical world we think ofthat as preventative medicine. But in the
coaching world, how do we thinkabout that, Because it's not necessarily preventative,
right, We're not preventing problems,but we are using a coach to
do what. In that sense,I think we're using a coach as a
thought partner to enhance our performance andwellness. Right, So, whether that's
(03:42):
our performance in our professional lives,in our personal lives, in our familiar
relationships, and that ties directly toour mental and physical wellness in terms of
our self esteem, our self confidence, the closeness and intimacy we feel,
and the relationships that are important tous in our lives. And so in
(04:02):
a sense, it's really like aflywheel, right, Because if you're performing
and you feel well, and you'reable to get the thought partnership of a
coach to do those two things,then you're really achieving your best self right
because you're achieving your goals, you'redoing it with an advisor, as a
(04:26):
coach who's on side, who youcan really use to get objective advice and
to actually clearly roadmap your pathway toget to the goals you're trying to achieve.
And before we dive into the process, actually, why should I work
with a coach for example, orwhy should someone work with a coach as
opposed to talking to a friend.That's a great question I would put it.
(04:51):
I think the best way I haveof putting it is whether it's your
friend, your brother, sister,parent, spouse, everybody in your life
that you know and have a relationshipwith is a self interested party. A
coach that you develop a relationship withis really an objective outsider. Their job
(05:16):
in a sense, is to beyour thought partner and provide that objective advice.
And because there's no other relationship thatpre exists, they're able to do
that. I think it's hard forfriends to do that. I've definitely found
it's really hard both for me todo it as a partner to my husband,
it's equally hard, I think formy husband to do it as a
(05:40):
partner to me, because in theback of your mind are always the considerations
around the nature of your relationship withthat person and the future of that relationship.
Yes. Well, actually reminds meof a personal story that I have
where I had a friend who cameto me seeking advice around a problem that
(06:00):
she was having. And ultimately,while I pride myself on being direct and
honest, because I'm thinking long termabout you know, what happens if there's
one outcome up to this problem versusanother outcome if I advise and speak about
it in one way down the road, it could impact our friendship. Yes,
(06:24):
And so to your point about youknow, having advice from friends.
As friends, we want to beas open as honest as possible, but
we always have an interest as well, right in whatever we're advising. On
the contrary, I will say that, you know, one of the things
that I've always heard our coaches onthe IDMX talk about is this fact that
(06:44):
they are a servant leader, sothey are really there and to have the
best outcome for you, right,without that level of self interest, and
that's what being a servant leader actuallyis. Yeah, that term is so
interesting because it's entered a lot oforganizational behavior and performance and management and leadership
(07:08):
discussions, and I think we understandwhat it means in that context, but
I think it's so applicable to coachingbecause the coach really is acting as a
servant leader for each client as anindividual or a team if they're working with
a group of people, to helpboth achieve the goals of that individual or
(07:35):
team, but equally to really servetheir interests very directly. Right. I
think that's where the individualization of coachingis very different from any other learning or
development methodology that you could access.Yeah, absolutely, absolutely cool. Shall
(07:55):
we dive into sort of coaching andthe different steps that somebody would go through
if they work with a coach,Yeah, because I think so many people
have a question on what coaching actuallyis, like, what does it constitute,
what does it mean in terms ofthe process that you go through in
working with a coach. So youknow, we'll start with the first step
(08:20):
that you and I've been talking about, which is really this evaluative step,
and really that step looks at threethings. Do you want to talk about
the three things that we contemplate inthat step? Actually, so I'm going
to address too, and then youshould address the third. But I think
you know, first where are youtoday? Right? And second where are
(08:45):
you trying to get to? Andthird? And then the third is looking
at all the forces that influence yourthinking around what you think you want and
what you think where you think you'regoing. That's your internal dialogue or inner
critics, which is often said aswell as the external forces, the messaging
(09:09):
that you get from your social circles, your family, your friends, that
tells you this is these are thethings I should should have and want in
my life. Yeah. Absolutely,And I want to go back to the
doctor analogy here because it's it's Ithink, a really good illustration. When
we go to the doctor, thedoctor asks you a series of questions about
(09:33):
exactly where you are today, right, how are you feeling, what would
you want to improve, what problemsare you having? And when you articulate
those goals and how you're feeling today, They also then ask you where you're
trying to get to right, andthen they begin asking you a series of
(09:54):
questions about the circumstances of your life. What are the external force that surround
you? Do you have time toget enough sleep? Do you get enough
exercise? Do you eat healthy enoughof a diet? So there's so many
elements where they're acting as a thoughtpartner to you in much the same way
that a coach does, I thinkfor an individual, and particularly at that
(10:16):
first stage where people were trying tothink through sort of that sort of introspection
period of who am I, whatdo I want? Where am I going?
And then we moved to the secondphase. Once you sort of have
done that identification process, then wemove into sort of this clarification phase where
(10:39):
the coach really weighs in and helpssomebody identify what their goals really are.
Do you want to talk a littlebit about that, yeah, I sort
of A recent example comes to mind. Some months ago, I tore my
ACL and I went to the doctor, and the discussion we had was reading
(11:00):
caused me to be very introspective becauseobviously I wanted my ACL to heal and
my need to be better. Butthe doctor asked me a series of questions
which oriented around what were my goalsin terms of the activity level I wanted
to have. Was I going tobe fine not skiing again? Did I
want to get on the tennis courtagain and play competitively? And those goals
(11:26):
were incredibly important because the treatment planthat we then put together in terms of
the physio, whether I required surgeryor not and so on, was all
dictated by those goals that I hadarticulated. Yes, and so very much
in that way, a coach comesin and will help you figure out what
(11:50):
that help you figure out what stepsand what questions to ask so that you
can analyze where you want to go, which leads us then to the third
step, which is the roadmap step. So I think the roadmap is probably
the single most important thing. Youknow. There's been so much research and
literature on this around goal setting andthen goal achievement, right, and lots
(12:15):
of people are great at setting goals. What they're less good at, especially
when they're big goals like I wantto become the CEO of my company or
I want to start a new business. Those are big goals, and it's
really a necessity to take those biggoals and break them down into a series
(12:37):
of smaller goals, which then resultsin a roadmap, right, Like,
what are you going to do first, second, third, et cetera.
And that process I think a coachis particularly and uniquely trained to take someone
through. And really I think it'sdissecting big goals into smaller incremental steps to
(12:58):
them create the behavior change. Andit reminds me of a story of a
friend of mine who worked for abig corporation. They had a huge workshop.
First, it was a hybrid setupwhere they had a workshop and then
they had in one individual or maybetwo individual sessions with a coach, and
(13:20):
my friend working in this big organizationsaid, what was the workshop topic that
I don't I don't remember, butit was around it was empowered communication or
something along those lines, right,yes, yeah, And so my friend
when she met with the coach saidthat, you know, people who speak
(13:41):
first and speak the loudest are theones that are heard, and I can't
do that, so I do notMy voice is not heard in these meetings.
So how do I how do Imake sure that I'm seen and I'm
heard? And the coach then proceedsto tell ask delve into well why is
it that you don't speak out atmeetings? And her thinking around this was
(14:03):
well, because I think it's rudeto speak up and talk when other people
are talking, but again, thoseare the people who are getting heard.
And so the coach gave her avery practical exercise. She said, Okay,
this week, I want you tointerrupt as many people as possible so
that you make sure that your voiceis heard in these meetings. And she
(14:26):
did. She did that, andit was I think for her it was
actually a very empowering and freeing exerciseto go through to have somebody tell her
it's okay to do something that inyour mind and the way that you frame
it feels rude, but it isokay in this environment, in this situation,
(14:46):
it is okay if your goal isto be seen and heard in your
organization. It's a total rewiring andkind of reframing, right that the coach
really helped your friend do around hermindset on how to participate in these meetings
with the group, because if youcommet it from that perspective, you've really
got to shift your thinking. Andlots of people can shift their thinking,
(15:07):
but do they shift their behavior.And this was such a practical tool for
her to actually begin to develop themuscle memory around how to change yes,
yes, and oftentimes even when weknow that doing something different will get us
what we want, also we needthat permission, and that's what a coach
(15:31):
oftentimes does. It gives us thatpermission to say it's okay to do this,
to behave in this way that feelscompletely unnatural to you. And I
think it really helped her in hergroup to feel like, Okay, I
can do this. Yeah, Ithink so. We see this in so
much of the work that we do, where idemics coaches work with both individuals
(15:56):
and teams in companies with individuals ontheir own. There's this question often when
you get to the end of youknow whatever time of working with a coach,
of what comes next, right,And I think that takes us straight
into step four, which is thisidea of Okay, so you make a
change, like your friend goes throughthe exercise of teaching herself how to interrupt
(16:19):
more and get comfortable with that.But how do you now turn that behavior
into a natural state for yourself andreally begin to do it pretter naturally so
you don't have to think about it, but you just do it. And
that's an interesting piece of the coachingendeavor. Yeah, Well, I think
(16:42):
it's very interesting to think about thefact that, for example, and we'll
go back to the case of myfriend, that you have to practice something
like speaking up in meetings and interruptingpeople. Right, That's what's interesting.
I think about the practice of behaviorchange is doing it being uncomfortable, but
feeling like it's okay to do itbecause somebody has told you that it is
(17:04):
okay to behave in this way,and then you do it. I mean,
just like with anything in life,whether it's like you're practicing a sport
or you know, learning music orwhatever it is, you do it enough
and it becomes natural for you.Yeah, which brings us to our last
step. And I think that theimportant thing about the step is not just
(17:30):
thinking about it in terms of,well, Okay, I did this one,
I had this goal. It wasbroken down in these behavioral chained steps
for me. But now you know, I can take that model and apply
it elsewhere with other things that Iwant to do. Did we want to
(17:51):
talk a little bit about how likea coach, like, how coaching helps
you do that. I think,you know, one of the things that
coaching does is really help us buildself awareness, right, And I think
that the system and the methodology thatcoaching uses, which you just talked about,
right, This idea of understanding andassessing where you are and what you're
(18:12):
trying to get to, going throughthe analysis and gaining some clarity from that
exercise and introspection, roadmapping and practicinga new behavior, and then consolidating that
behavioral change. That methodology is incrediblypowerful and it's actually something that any of
(18:33):
us can apply to pretty much anyproblem that we come across or any goal
that we're focused on trying to achieve, and embedding that in ourselves to be
empowered to use that as a problemsolving approach is super powerful. Yeah,
I mean, I think there's twosides of this. Number one is that
(18:55):
once you start working with a coach, it's not like a forever exercise,
right, because you learn practical skillsthat you can then take and are replicable
to other goals and areas of yourlife. Now that's not to say that
you won't ever have to, youknow, call back in a coach maybe
to help you with some of thequestions and the the increments, but at
least you have the process down andso it could be you know, you
(19:18):
start you work with a coach forthree to six months, but then maybe
you meet with them once a yearjust to come back in and help you.
Sort of. It's a health checkyeah, exactly, And the same
way you go back to the doctorto just check it and make sure that
your knee is good still, yeah, the annual checkup, right, the
annual coaching coaching checkup. And soreally the last step though is sort of
(19:41):
making whatever behavior change, making behaviorchange like second nature, right, This
idea that if you've you've had themodel laid out for you, you've done
it once, you understand the process, and you can actually apply it again
and again to other things in yourlife or other goals that you may want
to achieve in your life. Totally, that's I think it for today in
(20:07):
terms of covering this topic, Welook forward to bringing you a lot of
additional interesting topics and research and coachingmethodologies, as well as conversations with coaches,
conversations with researchers and scientists on alltopics coaching, performance and wellness.
Thanks for joining us today, Thanksfor listening. Please subscribe wherever you listen
(20:33):
and leave us a review. Findyour ideal coach at www dot viidmix dot
com special thanks to our producer MartinMaluski and singer songwriter Doug Allen.
Welcome to Idemics Performance and Wellness,where world leading coaches and scientists explain how
their research can help you achieve yourpersonal and professional goals. Foster hi It's
Sanjayanti, co founder and CEO ofIdemics Coaching. Coaching has played an important
role in my life. It's helpedme through my journey to become a powerful
(00:24):
leader, mother and wife. IDMXcoaches help you increase your self awareness,
improve your problem solving skills, andevolve your habits to achieve your goals,
all things I'm grateful to have learnedand done through my own coaching journey.
Our easy one minute assessment matches youwith an Idemics coach that best fits your
needs and values. Each Idemics coachis vetted and experienced. It helps clients
(00:46):
mad and achieve their wellness, professionaland business goals. If you are someone
you know could benefit from coaching,visit our website at www dotidemics dot com.
We also know that not everyone caninvest in coaching right now, and
that's why we provide free coaching inour Coach short episodes. If you think
someone you know would benefit from it, please share our podcast with them.
(01:07):
Thanks for listening and see you nexttime. Welcome to our first episode in
our Coaching, Performance and Wellness seriesin twenty twenty four. In these episodes,
Jamie and I will tackle various topicsin coaching, performance and wellness to
break them down. To kick usoff, we're going to talk today about
(01:30):
the connection between those three topics.We throw those words around a lot,
and the connections sometimes aren't always selfevident. To kick us off, We're
going to go through five rapid firequestions. Yes or no answers only allowed.
So Number one, is coaching onlyremedial? No? Okay? Is
(01:53):
coaching the same as therapy? No? Is life coaching the only time of
coaching? No? Can I getcoaching that will help me in my career?
Absolutely? And is coaching just forsports and fitness? And no?
(02:14):
Excellent? Great. So let's startby talking about, as you were saying,
this connection between performance and wellness andcoaching, and let's talk about what
are those ties? How is coachingconnective performance and wellness generally? Big picture?
So I think the three are soclosely intertwined in my mind, and
(02:39):
maybe the best analogy that comes tomy mind to explain this is when any
of us thinks about our health andgoes to a doctor. We don't just
go to a doctor when we havea problem. We do that too,
but we also go to a doctorto get a health check, to talk
(03:00):
through where we are, what problemswe might be experiencing, and the doctor
acts as a thought partner to usin helping us both analyze and understand our
own goals for ourselves and then creatinga roadmap to get there. So and
(03:21):
in the medical world we think ofthat as preventative medicine. But in the
coaching world, how do we thinkabout that, Because it's not necessarily preventative,
right, We're not preventing problems,but we are using a coach to
do what. In that sense,I think we're using a coach as a
thought partner to enhance our performance andwellness. Right, So, whether that's
(03:42):
our performance in our professional lives,in our personal lives, in our familiar
relationships, and that ties directly toour mental and physical wellness in terms of
our self esteem, our self confidence, the closeness and intimacy we feel,
and the relationships that are important tous in our lives. And so in
(04:02):
a sense, it's really like aflywheel, right, Because if you're performing
and you feel well, and you'reable to get the thought partnership of a
coach to do those two things,then you're really achieving your best self right
because you're achieving your goals, you'redoing it with an advisor, as a
(04:26):
coach who's on side, who youcan really use to get objective advice and
to actually clearly roadmap your pathway toget to the goals you're trying to achieve.
And before we dive into the process, actually, why should I work
with a coach for example, orwhy should someone work with a coach as
opposed to talking to a friend.That's a great question I would put it.
(04:51):
I think the best way I haveof putting it is whether it's your
friend, your brother, sister,parent, spouse, everybody in your life
that you know and have a relationshipwith is a self interested party. A
coach that you develop a relationship withis really an objective outsider. Their job
(05:16):
in a sense, is to beyour thought partner and provide that objective advice.
And because there's no other relationship thatpre exists, they're able to do
that. I think it's hard forfriends to do that. I've definitely found
it's really hard both for me todo it as a partner to my husband,
it's equally hard, I think formy husband to do it as a
(05:40):
partner to me, because in theback of your mind are always the considerations
around the nature of your relationship withthat person and the future of that relationship.
Yes. Well, actually reminds meof a personal story that I have
where I had a friend who cameto me seeking advice around a problem that
(06:00):
she was having. And ultimately,while I pride myself on being direct and
honest, because I'm thinking long termabout you know, what happens if there's
one outcome up to this problem versusanother outcome if I advise and speak about
it in one way down the road, it could impact our friendship. Yes,
(06:24):
And so to your point about youknow, having advice from friends.
As friends, we want to beas open as honest as possible, but
we always have an interest as well, right in whatever we're advising. On
the contrary, I will say that, you know, one of the things
that I've always heard our coaches onthe IDMX talk about is this fact that
(06:44):
they are a servant leader, sothey are really there and to have the
best outcome for you, right,without that level of self interest, and
that's what being a servant leader actuallyis. Yeah, that term is so
interesting because it's entered a lot oforganizational behavior and performance and management and leadership
(07:08):
discussions, and I think we understandwhat it means in that context, but
I think it's so applicable to coachingbecause the coach really is acting as a
servant leader for each client as anindividual or a team if they're working with
a group of people, to helpboth achieve the goals of that individual or
(07:35):
team, but equally to really servetheir interests very directly. Right. I
think that's where the individualization of coachingis very different from any other learning or
development methodology that you could access.Yeah, absolutely, absolutely cool. Shall
(07:55):
we dive into sort of coaching andthe different steps that somebody would go through
if they work with a coach,Yeah, because I think so many people
have a question on what coaching actuallyis, like, what does it constitute,
what does it mean in terms ofthe process that you go through in
working with a coach. So youknow, we'll start with the first step
(08:20):
that you and I've been talking about, which is really this evaluative step,
and really that step looks at threethings. Do you want to talk about
the three things that we contemplate inthat step? Actually, so I'm going
to address too, and then youshould address the third. But I think
you know, first where are youtoday? Right? And second where are
(08:45):
you trying to get to? Andthird? And then the third is looking
at all the forces that influence yourthinking around what you think you want and
what you think where you think you'regoing. That's your internal dialogue or inner
critics, which is often said aswell as the external forces, the messaging
(09:09):
that you get from your social circles, your family, your friends, that
tells you this is these are thethings I should should have and want in
my life. Yeah. Absolutely,And I want to go back to the
doctor analogy here because it's it's Ithink, a really good illustration. When
we go to the doctor, thedoctor asks you a series of questions about
(09:33):
exactly where you are today, right, how are you feeling, what would
you want to improve, what problemsare you having? And when you articulate
those goals and how you're feeling today, They also then ask you where you're
trying to get to right, andthen they begin asking you a series of
(09:54):
questions about the circumstances of your life. What are the external force that surround
you? Do you have time toget enough sleep? Do you get enough
exercise? Do you eat healthy enoughof a diet? So there's so many
elements where they're acting as a thoughtpartner to you in much the same way
that a coach does, I thinkfor an individual, and particularly at that
(10:16):
first stage where people were trying tothink through sort of that sort of introspection
period of who am I, whatdo I want? Where am I going?
And then we moved to the secondphase. Once you sort of have
done that identification process, then wemove into sort of this clarification phase where
(10:39):
the coach really weighs in and helpssomebody identify what their goals really are.
Do you want to talk a littlebit about that, yeah, I sort
of A recent example comes to mind. Some months ago, I tore my
ACL and I went to the doctor, and the discussion we had was reading
(11:00):
caused me to be very introspective becauseobviously I wanted my ACL to heal and
my need to be better. Butthe doctor asked me a series of questions
which oriented around what were my goalsin terms of the activity level I wanted
to have. Was I going tobe fine not skiing again? Did I
want to get on the tennis courtagain and play competitively? And those goals
(11:26):
were incredibly important because the treatment planthat we then put together in terms of
the physio, whether I required surgeryor not and so on, was all
dictated by those goals that I hadarticulated. Yes, and so very much
in that way, a coach comesin and will help you figure out what
(11:50):
that help you figure out what stepsand what questions to ask so that you
can analyze where you want to go, which leads us then to the third
step, which is the roadmap step. So I think the roadmap is probably
the single most important thing. Youknow. There's been so much research and
literature on this around goal setting andthen goal achievement, right, and lots
(12:15):
of people are great at setting goals. What they're less good at, especially
when they're big goals like I wantto become the CEO of my company or
I want to start a new business. Those are big goals, and it's
really a necessity to take those biggoals and break them down into a series
(12:37):
of smaller goals, which then resultsin a roadmap, right, Like,
what are you going to do first, second, third, et cetera.
And that process I think a coachis particularly and uniquely trained to take someone
through. And really I think it'sdissecting big goals into smaller incremental steps to
(12:58):
them create the behavior change. Andit reminds me of a story of a
friend of mine who worked for abig corporation. They had a huge workshop.
First, it was a hybrid setupwhere they had a workshop and then
they had in one individual or maybetwo individual sessions with a coach, and
(13:20):
my friend working in this big organizationsaid, what was the workshop topic that
I don't I don't remember, butit was around it was empowered communication or
something along those lines, right,yes, yeah, And so my friend
when she met with the coach saidthat, you know, people who speak
(13:41):
first and speak the loudest are theones that are heard, and I can't
do that, so I do notMy voice is not heard in these meetings.
So how do I how do Imake sure that I'm seen and I'm
heard? And the coach then proceedsto tell ask delve into well why is
it that you don't speak out atmeetings? And her thinking around this was
(14:03):
well, because I think it's rudeto speak up and talk when other people
are talking, but again, thoseare the people who are getting heard.
And so the coach gave her avery practical exercise. She said, Okay,
this week, I want you tointerrupt as many people as possible so
that you make sure that your voiceis heard in these meetings. And she
(14:26):
did. She did that, andit was I think for her it was
actually a very empowering and freeing exerciseto go through to have somebody tell her
it's okay to do something that inyour mind and the way that you frame
it feels rude, but it isokay in this environment, in this situation,
(14:46):
it is okay if your goal isto be seen and heard in your
organization. It's a total rewiring andkind of reframing, right that the coach
really helped your friend do around hermindset on how to participate in these meetings
with the group, because if youcommet it from that perspective, you've really
got to shift your thinking. Andlots of people can shift their thinking,
(15:07):
but do they shift their behavior.And this was such a practical tool for
her to actually begin to develop themuscle memory around how to change yes,
yes, and oftentimes even when weknow that doing something different will get us
what we want, also we needthat permission, and that's what a coach
(15:31):
oftentimes does. It gives us thatpermission to say it's okay to do this,
to behave in this way that feelscompletely unnatural to you. And I
think it really helped her in hergroup to feel like, Okay, I
can do this. Yeah, Ithink so. We see this in so
much of the work that we do, where idemics coaches work with both individuals
(15:56):
and teams in companies with individuals ontheir own. There's this question often when
you get to the end of youknow whatever time of working with a coach,
of what comes next, right,And I think that takes us straight
into step four, which is thisidea of Okay, so you make a
change, like your friend goes throughthe exercise of teaching herself how to interrupt
(16:19):
more and get comfortable with that.But how do you now turn that behavior
into a natural state for yourself andreally begin to do it pretter naturally so
you don't have to think about it, but you just do it. And
that's an interesting piece of the coachingendeavor. Yeah, Well, I think
(16:42):
it's very interesting to think about thefact that, for example, and we'll
go back to the case of myfriend, that you have to practice something
like speaking up in meetings and interruptingpeople. Right, That's what's interesting.
I think about the practice of behaviorchange is doing it being uncomfortable, but
feeling like it's okay to do itbecause somebody has told you that it is
(17:04):
okay to behave in this way,and then you do it. I mean,
just like with anything in life,whether it's like you're practicing a sport
or you know, learning music orwhatever it is, you do it enough
and it becomes natural for you.Yeah, which brings us to our last
step. And I think that theimportant thing about the step is not just
(17:30):
thinking about it in terms of,well, Okay, I did this one,
I had this goal. It wasbroken down in these behavioral chained steps
for me. But now you know, I can take that model and apply
it elsewhere with other things that Iwant to do. Did we want to
(17:51):
talk a little bit about how likea coach, like, how coaching helps
you do that. I think,you know, one of the things that
coaching does is really help us buildself awareness, right, And I think
that the system and the methodology thatcoaching uses, which you just talked about,
right, This idea of understanding andassessing where you are and what you're
(18:12):
trying to get to, going throughthe analysis and gaining some clarity from that
exercise and introspection, roadmapping and practicinga new behavior, and then consolidating that
behavioral change. That methodology is incrediblypowerful and it's actually something that any of
(18:33):
us can apply to pretty much anyproblem that we come across or any goal
that we're focused on trying to achieve, and embedding that in ourselves to be
empowered to use that as a problemsolving approach is super powerful. Yeah,
I mean, I think there's twosides of this. Number one is that
(18:55):
once you start working with a coach, it's not like a forever exercise,
right, because you learn practical skillsthat you can then take and are replicable
to other goals and areas of yourlife. Now that's not to say that
you won't ever have to, youknow, call back in a coach maybe
to help you with some of thequestions and the the increments, but at
least you have the process down andso it could be you know, you
(19:18):
start you work with a coach forthree to six months, but then maybe
you meet with them once a yearjust to come back in and help you.
Sort of. It's a health checkyeah, exactly, And the same
way you go back to the doctorto just check it and make sure that
your knee is good still, yeah, the annual checkup, right, the
annual coaching coaching checkup. And soreally the last step though is sort of
(19:41):
making whatever behavior change, making behaviorchange like second nature, right, This
idea that if you've you've had themodel laid out for you, you've done
it once, you understand the process, and you can actually apply it again
and again to other things in yourlife or other goals that you may want
to achieve in your life. Totally, that's I think it for today in
(20:07):
terms of covering this topic, Welook forward to bringing you a lot of
additional interesting topics and research and coachingmethodologies, as well as conversations with coaches,
conversations with researchers and scientists on alltopics coaching, performance and wellness.
Thanks for joining us today, Thanksfor listening. Please subscribe wherever you listen
(20:33):
and leave us a review. Findyour ideal coach at www dot viidmix dot
com special thanks to our producer MartinMaluski and singer songwriter Doug Allen.
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