June 2, 2025 • 22 mins
The Black Experience: Then and Now is an audio documentary that explores the diverse realities of anti-Black racism in Canada through the voices of three Black Canadians. Recorded in 2020 during the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, this powerful piece includes raw audio from protests in the nation's capital and highlights how racism shows up in both overt and subtle ways.
Now, after several years, it's finally making its way to streaming platforms. Challenging the myth of a singular Black narrative, this documentary offers a necessary reflection on the complexities of Black identity and the urgent need for a deeper understanding of systemic racism in Canada.
LISTEN TO THE RADIO SHOW
You can listen to the radio show every Wednesday @ 11 AM EST
1280 AM on your Radio 📻
metradio.ca Online 💻
Now, after several years, it's finally making its way to streaming platforms. Challenging the myth of a singular Black narrative, this documentary offers a necessary reflection on the complexities of Black identity and the urgent need for a deeper understanding of systemic racism in Canada.
LISTEN TO THE RADIO SHOW
You can listen to the radio show every Wednesday @ 11 AM EST
1280 AM on your Radio 📻
metradio.ca Online 💻
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
No justice, no justice, no justice, no justice. The blood
Christ the ground Crist with innocent blood.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Over the past few weeks, communities across the globe have
been trying to educate themselves on the history of anti
black racism in the United States and around the world.
A viral video documenting the murder of George Floyd by
the Minneapolis police sparked a multitude of ongoing protests. Here
in Toronto, a twenty nine year old black woman by
the name of Regis Kochynsky Piquett felt twenty four stories
(00:52):
to her death on May twenty seventh. Police were called
to her residence by her mother. The officers were the
only ones in the apartment when Kochinsky Piquet fell to
her death. The officers were not wearing body cams, and
the city suspicion of law enforcement led droves of young
people into the street to protest the police.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Ah another black light, not another black light.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
He was yesterday, but he's still here today. I see
France here, I see white people will came to sue Porch.
I see Arabs or came to sue Porch. I see
Asians what came to sue port And I see my people.
I see my black people as you were.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
That's no, we aren't here.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
She is our time, it is our movement.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Seize your movements.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It is evident that people around the world are hurting
through centuries of systematic racism and oppression. The injustices that
are still being done onto black people today remind us
that this war for civil rights is not over.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Shot Sun, read shot Sun.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
These sounds of Freida read damn shot Sun.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
In the modern era, we begin on February twenty six,
twenty twelve.
Speaker 7 (02:38):
It's the story that's ignited fierce passions across the nation
as allegations of racism and miscarriage of justice tear apart
a small Florida town. Three weeks ago, Trayvon Martin, an
unarmed black teenager, was shot down by a white neighborhood
watchman who claimed self defense and has not at this
point been arrested.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
It took more than six weeks for Zimmerman to be
arrested thanks to a law in the state of Florida
titled standard Ground that allows someone to use deadly force
if they feel their life is being threatened. What do
states have similar laws, but Floridas is seen as the
most extreme. In the summer of twenty fourteen, Eric Garner
(03:20):
was put in a chokehold while being arrested by NYPD officers.
He repeated the phrase I can't breathe while lying face
down on the sidewalk. He lay still for approximately seven
minutes before emergency responders showed up and was pronounced dead
(03:41):
about an hour later. In December of the same year,
Richmond County decided not to indict the officer that murdered Garner,
provoking demonstrations of people wearing T shirts with the words
I can't breathe.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
Good evening from New York on Crusades. A remarkable scene
just unfolded moments ago here in New York at tonight's
NBA matchup between the Brooklyn Nets and the Cleveland Cavaliers,
with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in attendance, alongside
Beyonce and Jay Z. Cavstar Lebron James took the court
for warmups in this T shirt bearing words I can't breathe,
(04:12):
last words uttered by Eric Carner, repeated eleven times as
he was subjected subjected to the least choke hold in
restraint that caused his death.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Only a month after Eric Garner's death, Michael Brown was
unarmed when he was shot by an officer in Ferguson, Missouri.
Speaker 6 (04:30):
There's going to be.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Shortly following Freddie Gray was killed by police in Baltimore,
and in twenty sixteen, Filando Castile was pulled over in
Saint Paul, a suburb just outside of Minnesota, and was
shot by the officer while in the car with his girlfriend.
Speaker 8 (04:47):
He was trying to get out his ID in his wallet,
out his pockey.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
The publicity of these murders has taken the headlines, but
the publicity is only scratching the so when coming to facing, understanding,
and dismantling anti black racism, the system that created this
problem is older than the ones that are controlling it.
The frustration is past the point of boiling, and young
people are ensuring their voices are heard.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
No justice say their names.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Lift your hands.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
If you've ever fit the description before, lift your hands.
If you've been wrongfully arrested, lift your hands. If you've
been a victim of racism, lift your hands. If you're
at tired, lift your hands.
Speaker 9 (05:46):
If you're in bad.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Lift your hands.
Speaker 10 (05:50):
If you want safe.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Gabby is an award winning media student at Ryerson University
specializing in audio. Growing up in a multicultural town like
Mississauga does not protect her from the realities of racism.
Speaker 9 (06:03):
I'm twenty one years old and I'm a full time
student at Ryerson studying media production and I also worked
for Sea Jury as a music coordinator. Growing up in
Canada was hard. I was both raised in Mississauga and
in Mount Forrest, which is two hours away from the GTA.
(06:25):
I remember the first time my mom talked about race,
and I was six years old, just before a couple
of days before I started Grade one, my mom sat
me down and she had two conversations with me. The
first one was about how as a woman and that
no man should treat me horribly and should touch you
without permission. That was the first conversation. The second conversation
(06:49):
was about the color of my skin and she said this, Gabby,
there are going to be a lot of people who
won't like you for the color of your skin. And
I responded with, what do you mean I'm and I'm
almost like, nope, you're black. People are gonna see you
as black. I was like, that doesn't make sense, and
just like exactly, it's not fair. But because of that,
(07:12):
you have to work a lot harder just to get
half as far. And that resonated with me, and I
was like, there's no way if I possibly learn a
new language, play five instruments, get my black fout, get honors,
athletic council, student council, music council, scholarships, provincial level soccer,
(07:33):
all these things, if I could just attain all of
these skills, that this would compensate for the color.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Of my skin.
Speaker 9 (07:41):
And boy was I wrong. It was hard because I
didn't essentially fit in with the white kids because I'm
black obviously, but I didn't fit in with the black
kids either because I was too white. I had a
father figure who is a white man that lives in
Mount four and he's been a part of my life
(08:03):
since I was five years old. I only met my
biological dad once and he wasn't really in my life.
But no matter what, I believe that my father figure
and I and our relationship, our bond is tighter, it's
stronger than blood. And he taught me how to fish kayak,
introduce me to rock, folk music and what Canada had
to offer. But my mom also too, taught me about
(08:25):
the values of you know, being a black woman and
being a Jamaican black woman, and that meshed together. Along
with that, I had to go through my own journey
of learning about the tragic history of Canada and how
it came about. And it got worse with high school.
When I was growing up and coming into a woman,
(08:46):
a lot of people made me feel ashamed for the
color of my skin. I was the captain of the
basketball team and I had corn rows, and they called
me Alan iverson to Shaquille O'Neil's daughter to it got worse,
call me a man, I deserve to be on the
boys basketball team. And then with the whole light skins
versus dark skins, I was the dark skins obviously, and
(09:09):
they call me a roach, ghetto ratchet. Those voices that
used to be external became into my head and it's
something that I still can't shake off because it still
happens today, and it terrifies me that there are younger
black girls that looks like me who has to go
(09:29):
to school and they're gonna have to face the same thing. Well,
where were the teachers, what were they doing? They were silent.
There were times where there were students in the class
saying the N word in front of me, And I
turned around and said like, look, I don't like you
saying that in front of my face or around me.
You're diminishing my value to humanizing me. And they're like,
(09:53):
it's in rap music, why can I I was like, well,
if you know the historical context of it, maybe wouldn't
be using it in the first place. And they justified it,
justified it racially gaslighted me. I was getting a little
bit more emotional, and I was sent out of the classroom,
not them, And you just lose all hope in teachers especially,
(10:20):
and you just you feel like you have no one
to talk to about these things.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Qualisa is a Toronto based recording artist and music engineer.
Born and raised in Toronto, She's become more than familiar
with the attitude of anti black racism and the passive
ways it continues to reveal itself here in Toronto. I've
grown up in quite a few different neighborhoods here in Toronto,
(10:50):
some predominantly black, others predominantly white. However, regardless of where
I've resided in the city, being on the receiving end
of anti black racism has been something you never quite
get used to, but you do become very familiar with
it and the feelings that it brings up within you
every single time that it happens. In Toronto, anti black
racism is deeply passive in my experiences, it's the microaggressions
(11:13):
that rare their head and hurt the most disguised in
politeness or silence. It happens when grocery shopping, when walking
down the street, when being served at the bank, when
taking the TTC, you know, just living, just doing the
things that one does as a working adult, as a
human being living in a city. My most memorable experience
of this exact thing happened last summer downtown in Toronto's
(11:36):
Queen West area. Though it happened last summer, it's definitely
not the most recent. I called a store that I
was interested in buying a gift certificate from for my
friend's birthday. I called first thing in the morning, asking
if they offer give certificates. They said they didn't. However,
the man I spoke to he was delightful. He was friendly,
he was funny, he was jovial, and he reassured me
(11:57):
that he himself would create a give certificate for me.
Just come on down. I'll write out a receipt for you,
and your friend will have no issues purchasing what they
want when they come in. So I went down about
an hour after our call, feeling good, feeling excited to
surprise my friend with this gift certificate that was made
especially for them. I get there, it's a hot day.
I entered the store. There was the man I spoke to,
(12:18):
whose voice I recognized right away. He was wrapping up
a transaction with a customer who left shortly after. There
was also another employee who was putting away boxes at
that point. Other than myself, there was one other customer,
a man who was browsing a nearby shelf. So a
total of four of us in this fairly large store.
Two customers, two employees. I'm the only black person in
(12:41):
the store. I'm also the only woman in the store
at this point. All right, So the man I spoke
to on the phone, who was initially cashing out the
customer who left, he gave me a quick smile and
went on about his business. The other employee walked past me,
back and forth, carrying and dropping boxes without one word
spoken to me. Eventually, the man who I spoke to
on the phone. He came up to me and asked
(13:02):
what I needed. I told him, well, I spoke to
you earlier on the phone. I'm the one who called
about getting a gift certificate bad out for me. Oh yes,
well we are very very busy right now. If he
come back later, I'll do it for you. His energy,
his vibe, his tone. He was a total opposite of
the man I spoke to on the phone just an
hour before. Okay, so this would take only a couple
(13:22):
of minutes. I don't need anything fancy. You could write
it out on a scrap piece of paper. That's fine,
I replied. He went on to say to me, yes,
but I'm the only one here, and I got boxes
to move in the bag. Just go walk around and
come back. I looked around again. There was only one
other man browsing, and myself. If you're cool with this
(13:43):
guy here looking and browsing while you're in the back,
then me standing here in plain sight, waiting patiently not browsing,
should be no problem. I told the man, I'll wait here.
I'll wait here till you're done. He gave me this
irritated look and said okay, and then he went on
about his business. I stood there for about ten minutes
with him and the other employee passing me straight back
(14:05):
and forth, longer than it would have taken him to
deal with this transaction the same way he was dealing
with a paying customer, a white customer. Just before I
came in, he came back to me and said, can
you wait outside? I feel bad. I looked at him
in disbelief and said, don't bother. I won't be back,
(14:25):
and I left. I came to spend my money at
an empty store after speaking to you on the phone
and being encouraged to come down, and I was told
to wait outside for you to write a dollar amount
and a piece of paper and take my money. I'm
being asked to wait outside because you feel bad. Yeah. No,
we black people here in Toronto all have at least
(14:47):
one story. This is just one of many of my own.
I've traded many stories with friends and families, black men,
black women who experienced microaggressions like this every single day.
You add in the intersectionality of being queer, of being trands,
of being a darker skin tone while being black, it
gets even more complex. A friend of mine said to
(15:08):
me recently, after sharing his frustration with how he's treated
when doing business within the neighborhood that he lives in,
you know, going to the bank, going to the grocery store,
or the coffee shops. He said to me, well, you know,
I guess it's better than being killed by the police.
And what struck me the most was how disheartening it
was to hear that, to know that those are even
(15:30):
our options to feel better about. Either we're being killed
by the police or we're combating passive, aggressive microaggressions in
our daily experiences by just existing. Could you really imagine
the psychological effects and the weight that one carries when
those two ends of the spectrum are your reality or
(15:51):
your options. The uproar that is taking place right now,
this rush to learn and educate oneself on anti black race,
is going to be a trend for some, and it's
going to be temporary for some, and it's going to
be very surface for others. However, this fight is a
part of our existence as black individuals every single day.
(16:14):
It doesn't end once people get tired of posting and
sharing hashtags and chanting that black lives matter. It continues.
My hope is that the awareness and change that non
black people are showing right now continues to be explored, challenged,
expanded on, and faced every day inwardly, because that's where
the change needs to happen inside.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Immensim patial sales from mental slavery.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
No sales can.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
Free of all minds.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Have no fear for atomic energy CAUs no, not damn
can't stop at the time. How long has they been
killing our profits? Why we send some sick it's just
a part of it, or no, it's time to fulfill.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Adria is a member of rius In School of Journalism
twenty twenty graduating class. His experience with racism is complex.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
Growing up, I always wanted to decide for myself or
I felt it meant to be black. You know, people
would say things like either you talk too black or
you talk too white. And you know, I never prescribed
to any of those thoughts about speaking a certain way
mean you're a black of youth sang or speaking intelligently
or articulate, it meant you were white as a black man.
(17:39):
That you know affects me differently as how it's going
to affect you as a white person or as a
black woman or as a white woman, and you have
to decide for yourself. But as black people have a
lot to be proud of. Our value is not going
to be determined by someone else.
Speaker 10 (17:55):
You're black and proud, proud.
Speaker 9 (18:21):
This poem is called Complexion, and it dates back on
June twelfth, twenty seventeen. I wrote this in my creative
writing class, and as you can see, I was very frustrated.
And when you hear this poem, you can make a
decision for yourself if things have changed. Complexion, I carry
(18:44):
tragic history on my spine. If I'm not careful, I'm
just one of those victims on a grave shrine. Born
to accept my deep complexion, but shunned for my vibrant expressions.
Who knew I could be dangerous to society? When I
walk past you, I didn't know I was giving you anxiety.
Believe me, I swear I'm part of the community. I
(19:06):
just assume that we get the same opportunities. I was
taught to articulate my words. I was taught to reach success.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
In the world.
Speaker 9 (19:14):
I conform myself to fit in, to give my people
a new name, giving them a new purpose in life.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
And boy, I was wrong.
Speaker 9 (19:21):
Yet you still reject me as a human being only
of ignorance, didn't label me, only of labels, didn't put
a chain on me. The sand hugging my feet, the
air kissing my cheek are the only two matters on
earth to never leave my side and always accept my presence,
(19:42):
to freely move around, walk, run and jump beside my
friends and appreciate this ground where my ancestors resides, whom
fought for our lives. But believe it or not, we're
not even close. It may be a nice utopia, but
it's a socialist dystopia. The majority denies and distors the
(20:03):
history that we're the ones to be feared forgetting My
fathers and mothers walk with chains on their feet, carrying
heavy hearts, seeing people on their knees, gasping. I can't breathe.
All I can say is it's the price we pay
for envisioning that our souls can be the same. But
they can only see me as a stepping stool, an
(20:24):
undervalued tool helping them reach to the top, while most
rather see you drop, fail and silent pointing the finger
at us that we're the reason for chaos. But they're
secretly robbing my culture, covering my identity, sabotaging my destiny,
widening the disparity. Though I am not going anywhere, I
(20:47):
will achieve my ambitions. No longer a cage bird that
stands on a grave of dreams.
Speaker 6 (20:56):
As a freedom because movie ever. REDN Shot songs, REDM
Shot songs, These sons of freedom, REDM shot sons, Freedom.
(21:27):
Thank you,
No justice, no justice, no justice, no justice. The blood
Christ the ground Crist with innocent blood.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Over the past few weeks, communities across the globe have
been trying to educate themselves on the history of anti
black racism in the United States and around the world.
A viral video documenting the murder of George Floyd by
the Minneapolis police sparked a multitude of ongoing protests. Here
in Toronto, a twenty nine year old black woman by
the name of Regis Kochynsky Piquett felt twenty four stories
(00:52):
to her death on May twenty seventh. Police were called
to her residence by her mother. The officers were the
only ones in the apartment when Kochinsky Piquet fell to
her death. The officers were not wearing body cams, and
the city suspicion of law enforcement led droves of young
people into the street to protest the police.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Ah another black light, not another black light.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
He was yesterday, but he's still here today. I see
France here, I see white people will came to sue Porch.
I see Arabs or came to sue Porch. I see
Asians what came to sue port And I see my people.
I see my black people as you were.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
That's no, we aren't here.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
She is our time, it is our movement.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Seize your movements.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It is evident that people around the world are hurting
through centuries of systematic racism and oppression. The injustices that
are still being done onto black people today remind us
that this war for civil rights is not over.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Shot Sun, read shot Sun.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
These sounds of Freida read damn shot Sun.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
In the modern era, we begin on February twenty six,
twenty twelve.
Speaker 7 (02:38):
It's the story that's ignited fierce passions across the nation
as allegations of racism and miscarriage of justice tear apart
a small Florida town. Three weeks ago, Trayvon Martin, an
unarmed black teenager, was shot down by a white neighborhood
watchman who claimed self defense and has not at this
point been arrested.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
It took more than six weeks for Zimmerman to be
arrested thanks to a law in the state of Florida
titled standard Ground that allows someone to use deadly force
if they feel their life is being threatened. What do
states have similar laws, but Floridas is seen as the
most extreme. In the summer of twenty fourteen, Eric Garner
(03:20):
was put in a chokehold while being arrested by NYPD officers.
He repeated the phrase I can't breathe while lying face
down on the sidewalk. He lay still for approximately seven
minutes before emergency responders showed up and was pronounced dead
(03:41):
about an hour later. In December of the same year,
Richmond County decided not to indict the officer that murdered Garner,
provoking demonstrations of people wearing T shirts with the words
I can't breathe.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
Good evening from New York on Crusades. A remarkable scene
just unfolded moments ago here in New York at tonight's
NBA matchup between the Brooklyn Nets and the Cleveland Cavaliers,
with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in attendance, alongside
Beyonce and Jay Z. Cavstar Lebron James took the court
for warmups in this T shirt bearing words I can't breathe,
(04:12):
last words uttered by Eric Carner, repeated eleven times as
he was subjected subjected to the least choke hold in
restraint that caused his death.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Only a month after Eric Garner's death, Michael Brown was
unarmed when he was shot by an officer in Ferguson, Missouri.
Speaker 6 (04:30):
There's going to be.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Shortly following Freddie Gray was killed by police in Baltimore,
and in twenty sixteen, Filando Castile was pulled over in
Saint Paul, a suburb just outside of Minnesota, and was
shot by the officer while in the car with his girlfriend.
Speaker 8 (04:47):
He was trying to get out his ID in his wallet,
out his pockey.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
The publicity of these murders has taken the headlines, but
the publicity is only scratching the so when coming to facing, understanding,
and dismantling anti black racism, the system that created this
problem is older than the ones that are controlling it.
The frustration is past the point of boiling, and young
people are ensuring their voices are heard.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
No justice say their names.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Lift your hands.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
If you've ever fit the description before, lift your hands.
If you've been wrongfully arrested, lift your hands. If you've
been a victim of racism, lift your hands. If you're
at tired, lift your hands.
Speaker 9 (05:46):
If you're in bad.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Lift your hands.
Speaker 10 (05:50):
If you want safe.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Gabby is an award winning media student at Ryerson University
specializing in audio. Growing up in a multicultural town like
Mississauga does not protect her from the realities of racism.
Speaker 9 (06:03):
I'm twenty one years old and I'm a full time
student at Ryerson studying media production and I also worked
for Sea Jury as a music coordinator. Growing up in
Canada was hard. I was both raised in Mississauga and
in Mount Forrest, which is two hours away from the GTA.
(06:25):
I remember the first time my mom talked about race,
and I was six years old, just before a couple
of days before I started Grade one, my mom sat
me down and she had two conversations with me. The
first one was about how as a woman and that
no man should treat me horribly and should touch you
without permission. That was the first conversation. The second conversation
(06:49):
was about the color of my skin and she said this, Gabby,
there are going to be a lot of people who
won't like you for the color of your skin. And
I responded with, what do you mean I'm and I'm
almost like, nope, you're black. People are gonna see you
as black. I was like, that doesn't make sense, and
just like exactly, it's not fair. But because of that,
(07:12):
you have to work a lot harder just to get
half as far. And that resonated with me, and I
was like, there's no way if I possibly learn a
new language, play five instruments, get my black fout, get honors,
athletic council, student council, music council, scholarships, provincial level soccer,
(07:33):
all these things, if I could just attain all of
these skills, that this would compensate for the color.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Of my skin.
Speaker 9 (07:41):
And boy was I wrong. It was hard because I
didn't essentially fit in with the white kids because I'm
black obviously, but I didn't fit in with the black
kids either because I was too white. I had a
father figure who is a white man that lives in
Mount four and he's been a part of my life
(08:03):
since I was five years old. I only met my
biological dad once and he wasn't really in my life.
But no matter what, I believe that my father figure
and I and our relationship, our bond is tighter, it's
stronger than blood. And he taught me how to fish kayak,
introduce me to rock, folk music and what Canada had
to offer. But my mom also too, taught me about
(08:25):
the values of you know, being a black woman and
being a Jamaican black woman, and that meshed together. Along
with that, I had to go through my own journey
of learning about the tragic history of Canada and how
it came about. And it got worse with high school.
When I was growing up and coming into a woman,
(08:46):
a lot of people made me feel ashamed for the
color of my skin. I was the captain of the
basketball team and I had corn rows, and they called
me Alan iverson to Shaquille O'Neil's daughter to it got worse,
call me a man, I deserve to be on the
boys basketball team. And then with the whole light skins
versus dark skins, I was the dark skins obviously, and
(09:09):
they call me a roach, ghetto ratchet. Those voices that
used to be external became into my head and it's
something that I still can't shake off because it still
happens today, and it terrifies me that there are younger
black girls that looks like me who has to go
(09:29):
to school and they're gonna have to face the same thing. Well,
where were the teachers, what were they doing? They were silent.
There were times where there were students in the class
saying the N word in front of me, And I
turned around and said like, look, I don't like you
saying that in front of my face or around me.
You're diminishing my value to humanizing me. And they're like,
(09:53):
it's in rap music, why can I I was like, well,
if you know the historical context of it, maybe wouldn't
be using it in the first place. And they justified it,
justified it racially gaslighted me. I was getting a little
bit more emotional, and I was sent out of the classroom,
not them, And you just lose all hope in teachers especially,
(10:20):
and you just you feel like you have no one
to talk to about these things.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Qualisa is a Toronto based recording artist and music engineer.
Born and raised in Toronto, She's become more than familiar
with the attitude of anti black racism and the passive
ways it continues to reveal itself here in Toronto. I've
grown up in quite a few different neighborhoods here in Toronto,
(10:50):
some predominantly black, others predominantly white. However, regardless of where
I've resided in the city, being on the receiving end
of anti black racism has been something you never quite
get used to, but you do become very familiar with
it and the feelings that it brings up within you
every single time that it happens. In Toronto, anti black
racism is deeply passive in my experiences, it's the microaggressions
(11:13):
that rare their head and hurt the most disguised in
politeness or silence. It happens when grocery shopping, when walking
down the street, when being served at the bank, when
taking the TTC, you know, just living, just doing the
things that one does as a working adult, as a
human being living in a city. My most memorable experience
of this exact thing happened last summer downtown in Toronto's
(11:36):
Queen West area. Though it happened last summer, it's definitely
not the most recent. I called a store that I
was interested in buying a gift certificate from for my
friend's birthday. I called first thing in the morning, asking
if they offer give certificates. They said they didn't. However,
the man I spoke to he was delightful. He was friendly,
he was funny, he was jovial, and he reassured me
(11:57):
that he himself would create a give certificate for me.
Just come on down. I'll write out a receipt for you,
and your friend will have no issues purchasing what they
want when they come in. So I went down about
an hour after our call, feeling good, feeling excited to
surprise my friend with this gift certificate that was made
especially for them. I get there, it's a hot day.
I entered the store. There was the man I spoke to,
(12:18):
whose voice I recognized right away. He was wrapping up
a transaction with a customer who left shortly after. There
was also another employee who was putting away boxes at
that point. Other than myself, there was one other customer,
a man who was browsing a nearby shelf. So a
total of four of us in this fairly large store.
Two customers, two employees. I'm the only black person in
(12:41):
the store. I'm also the only woman in the store
at this point. All right, So the man I spoke
to on the phone, who was initially cashing out the
customer who left, he gave me a quick smile and
went on about his business. The other employee walked past me,
back and forth, carrying and dropping boxes without one word
spoken to me. Eventually, the man who I spoke to
on the phone. He came up to me and asked
(13:02):
what I needed. I told him, well, I spoke to
you earlier on the phone. I'm the one who called
about getting a gift certificate bad out for me. Oh yes,
well we are very very busy right now. If he
come back later, I'll do it for you. His energy,
his vibe, his tone. He was a total opposite of
the man I spoke to on the phone just an
hour before. Okay, so this would take only a couple
(13:22):
of minutes. I don't need anything fancy. You could write
it out on a scrap piece of paper. That's fine,
I replied. He went on to say to me, yes,
but I'm the only one here, and I got boxes
to move in the bag. Just go walk around and
come back. I looked around again. There was only one
other man browsing, and myself. If you're cool with this
(13:43):
guy here looking and browsing while you're in the back,
then me standing here in plain sight, waiting patiently not browsing,
should be no problem. I told the man, I'll wait here.
I'll wait here till you're done. He gave me this
irritated look and said okay, and then he went on
about his business. I stood there for about ten minutes
with him and the other employee passing me straight back
(14:05):
and forth, longer than it would have taken him to
deal with this transaction the same way he was dealing
with a paying customer, a white customer. Just before I
came in, he came back to me and said, can
you wait outside? I feel bad. I looked at him
in disbelief and said, don't bother. I won't be back,
(14:25):
and I left. I came to spend my money at
an empty store after speaking to you on the phone
and being encouraged to come down, and I was told
to wait outside for you to write a dollar amount
and a piece of paper and take my money. I'm
being asked to wait outside because you feel bad. Yeah. No,
we black people here in Toronto all have at least
(14:47):
one story. This is just one of many of my own.
I've traded many stories with friends and families, black men,
black women who experienced microaggressions like this every single day.
You add in the intersectionality of being queer, of being trands,
of being a darker skin tone while being black, it
gets even more complex. A friend of mine said to
(15:08):
me recently, after sharing his frustration with how he's treated
when doing business within the neighborhood that he lives in,
you know, going to the bank, going to the grocery store,
or the coffee shops. He said to me, well, you know,
I guess it's better than being killed by the police.
And what struck me the most was how disheartening it
was to hear that, to know that those are even
(15:30):
our options to feel better about. Either we're being killed
by the police or we're combating passive, aggressive microaggressions in
our daily experiences by just existing. Could you really imagine
the psychological effects and the weight that one carries when
those two ends of the spectrum are your reality or
(15:51):
your options. The uproar that is taking place right now,
this rush to learn and educate oneself on anti black race,
is going to be a trend for some, and it's
going to be temporary for some, and it's going to
be very surface for others. However, this fight is a
part of our existence as black individuals every single day.
(16:14):
It doesn't end once people get tired of posting and
sharing hashtags and chanting that black lives matter. It continues.
My hope is that the awareness and change that non
black people are showing right now continues to be explored, challenged,
expanded on, and faced every day inwardly, because that's where
the change needs to happen inside.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Immensim patial sales from mental slavery.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
No sales can.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
Free of all minds.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Have no fear for atomic energy CAUs no, not damn
can't stop at the time. How long has they been
killing our profits? Why we send some sick it's just
a part of it, or no, it's time to fulfill.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
Adria is a member of rius In School of Journalism
twenty twenty graduating class. His experience with racism is complex.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
Growing up, I always wanted to decide for myself or
I felt it meant to be black. You know, people
would say things like either you talk too black or
you talk too white. And you know, I never prescribed
to any of those thoughts about speaking a certain way
mean you're a black of youth sang or speaking intelligently
or articulate, it meant you were white as a black man.
(17:39):
That you know affects me differently as how it's going
to affect you as a white person or as a
black woman or as a white woman, and you have
to decide for yourself. But as black people have a
lot to be proud of. Our value is not going
to be determined by someone else.
Speaker 10 (17:55):
You're black and proud, proud.
Speaker 9 (18:21):
This poem is called Complexion, and it dates back on
June twelfth, twenty seventeen. I wrote this in my creative
writing class, and as you can see, I was very frustrated.
And when you hear this poem, you can make a
decision for yourself if things have changed. Complexion, I carry
(18:44):
tragic history on my spine. If I'm not careful, I'm
just one of those victims on a grave shrine. Born
to accept my deep complexion, but shunned for my vibrant expressions.
Who knew I could be dangerous to society? When I
walk past you, I didn't know I was giving you anxiety.
Believe me, I swear I'm part of the community. I
(19:06):
just assume that we get the same opportunities. I was
taught to articulate my words. I was taught to reach success.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
In the world.
Speaker 9 (19:14):
I conform myself to fit in, to give my people
a new name, giving them a new purpose in life.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
And boy, I was wrong.
Speaker 9 (19:21):
Yet you still reject me as a human being only
of ignorance, didn't label me, only of labels, didn't put
a chain on me. The sand hugging my feet, the
air kissing my cheek are the only two matters on
earth to never leave my side and always accept my presence,
(19:42):
to freely move around, walk, run and jump beside my
friends and appreciate this ground where my ancestors resides, whom
fought for our lives. But believe it or not, we're
not even close. It may be a nice utopia, but
it's a socialist dystopia. The majority denies and distors the
(20:03):
history that we're the ones to be feared forgetting My
fathers and mothers walk with chains on their feet, carrying
heavy hearts, seeing people on their knees, gasping. I can't breathe.
All I can say is it's the price we pay
for envisioning that our souls can be the same. But
they can only see me as a stepping stool, an
(20:24):
undervalued tool helping them reach to the top, while most
rather see you drop, fail and silent pointing the finger
at us that we're the reason for chaos. But they're
secretly robbing my culture, covering my identity, sabotaging my destiny,
widening the disparity. Though I am not going anywhere, I
(20:47):
will achieve my ambitions. No longer a cage bird that
stands on a grave of dreams.
Speaker 6 (20:56):
As a freedom because movie ever. REDN Shot songs, REDM
Shot songs, These sons of freedom, REDM shot sons, Freedom.
(21:27):
Thank you,
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